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Post by Mr. Socko's Brother on Oct 25, 2011 19:52:29 GMT -5
*"Zombie" by The Cranberries plays over a video package to open the show*
Night Of The Wrestling Zombies 10/24/2011
"Gorilla" Tim Hoss: Good evening everyone, and welcome to Night Of The Wrestling Zombies! I'm Tim Hoss, here with Jesse King, and tonight is the night we'll finally crown a new World Heavyweight Champion as Jonathan Michaels takes on Ryan Blood in the Chamber Of Horrors! Jesse King: Tell 'em about the history here, Gorilla! Tim Hoss: Glad to, King. A year ago, Jonathan Michaels was coming off an unsuccessful attempt to capture the title from "Damn Right" Jackson at GookerMania III! Jonathan Michaels has done it all here in the WWCF, with the exception of becoming a world champion. Will tonight be the night he finally realizes his dream? Also, a year ago at the last Night Of The Wrestling Zombies, Ryan Blood captured his first title in the WWCF after winning another tournament. Will we see history repeat itself? Jesse King: There's lots more, but let's not waste any more time! It's time to meet the host of this show: The Pumpkin King!
(A Jazz Trio is onstage, they begn to play the following)
*Pumpkin King Slinks out to the song, Tapdancing out to the stage*
Pumpkin King: Hello My Creatures of the Night! I am YOUR Pumpkin King! Welcome to THE Night of Wrestling Zombies! *Shivers* Ooooh......Can't ya just FEEEEEL the excitations? No.....Just wait......It'll come to you....
[/font][/color] *Having said all he wants to for now, Pumpkin King slinks back the way he came and disappears* Tim Hoss: An interesting individual, the Pumpkin King! He'll be introducing each of the matches this evening along with Michael Muffer. Did we mention that every single title match on the card has a stipulation of some kind?Jesse King: Not until just now.*The Pumpkin King's Music plays again, but intead a large Thug in a Care Bear Costume appears* Morty The Thug: Da Boss say that De Masky-Raid Battle Roayle is Next....He'd introduce it hisself, but Da Boss has ta Get inter Costume! Cheer Real Loud for Da Boss! Ya Gotta Be happy 'round Da Boss..... He Say....Der Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves......Whatever dat means.(Beat Of Silence) *A Stagehand Ushers "Morty" off the stage* Michael Muffer: Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for the WWCF Halloween Masquerade Battle Royal! The winner of this match will face the Inter-Forum Champion for his title at November's "In Your Apartment"!*Monster Mash* Here we go Jess! One of my favorite matches of the year!The first person out is Ro-Man. Here he is, evil alien invader, Ro-Man!Next out is the Cookie Monster. All the way from Sesame Street, The Cookie Monster!The Mighty Thor follows. Everybody's favourite Norse God of Thunder and founding member of The Avengers, Thor!Fourth is the Brain. He's one of two laboratory mice whose genes have been spliced, sure to take over the world and keep it one of these days, The Brain!Next is The Shadow. He knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men, and he might know how to win a battle royal as well! The Shadow!After The Shadow, we see a man wearing a paper bag with eyeholes and a t-shirt proclaiming that he is "Definitely NOT The Sam!" Uh, somebody who apparently isn't The Sam, everybody!Zombie Grimace is next. Making the trip here from the first McDonald's to fall to the zombie apocalypse, please welcome Zombie Grimace!Baron Once-Bad-Then-Good-Then-Bad-Again-Then-Good-And-Now-Something-That's-Neither Beaver comes out last. The master of really, terrible, evil... things...Baron...uh...Bad Beaver is all I can remember, sorry.The opening bell rings and away we go! Cookie Monster and Ro-Man go at it, while Brain and Not-The-Sam trade punches in the corner. The Shadow sends Baron Bad Beaver into the ropes, meeting him with a dropkick on the way back! Zombie Grimace and Thor get chest to chest, trash talking, until Grimace drops Thor with a headbutt! Jesse King: Wow, Grimace's head is a lot harder than I thought, I guess!Tim Hoss: Most zombies would have their heads fly right off after something like that, but not Grimace!Grimace picks Thor up and tries to dump him, but Thor grabs his hammer and bashes Grimace in the head with it! Grimace releases Thor, who hit’s a another shot with the hammer! Grimace staggers back, as Thor unleashes his fury on the other competitors, giving everyone a shot with the hammer! The final competitor to get hit, The Brain, no-sells it. Wait a minute everyone! That’s a rubber hammer! Why are we selling it?!Everyone looks at each other, at the hammer, at The Brain… Me not know!Uh… BRAINS!!!!No clue.Because I am the Mighty Thor, you fools!He has a point…Yeah…Kinda…You simpletons! Fine, sell all you want! You won’t catch me, The Brain, selling something so stupid!Tim Hoss: Why would Thor use a rubber hammer?Jesse King: Somebody probably stole his regular hammer and left the rubber one in its place. He's too stupid to know the difference.Tim Hoss: But Mjolnir can only be picked up by one who is worthy!Jesse King: Shut up and call the match, nerd.The match then resumes, with Brain torpedoing himself into Thor! Thor falls to the mat! Cookie Monster then clothesline’s Ro-Man! Ro-Man responds by kicking Cookie in the groin! Cookie Monster doubles over in pain as Ro-Man celebrates. Tim Hoss: It appears that Cookie Monster found a part of Ro-Man that wasn't robot!Jesse King: Or was programmed to register pain!Baron Bad Beaver hits The Shadow with a stun gun across the top rope! Shadow bounces back, into a bear hug from Zombie Grimace! Grimace swings The Shadow around… Into a headbutt from Not-The-Sam! The Shadow grabs his forehead, as Grimace grabs him and tosses him over the top rope! The Shadow has been eliminated!Tim Hoss: Our first elimination! Better luck next year, whoever you are!The Brain rams Thor’s head into the turnbuckle. Thor no-sells it and points to his helmet. Now wait a minute! We all know that’s just a cheap mask! That helmet doesn’t protect you anymore than my own head is protected!As if to prove it, The Brain runs headfirst into the turnbuckle! His head snaps back as he holds his head in pain. S-s-see?Jesse King: You'd think he'd be smarter than that, given his name.Thor nods, then grabs The Brain and slams him to the mat! As he taunts the rodent, Not-The-Sam sneaks up behind him and throws him over the top! The Mighty Thor has been eliminated!Tim Hoss: Not-The-Sam coming to the rescue of Brain!Ro-Man comes up behind Not-The-Sam and begins choking him! As Ro-Man mercilessly throttles Not-The-Sam, Cookie Monster sneaks up behind him, armed with a cookie sheet! COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!![/color] Jesse King: Don't turn around, Ro-Man!Ro-Man turns around And gets smashed in the head with the cookie sheet! Ro-Man staggers backwards… And Baron Bad Beaver clothesline’s him over the top rope! Ro-Man has been eliminated!Jesse King: I TOLD him not to turn around...Cookie Monster then advances on The Brain, who is still down. As he approaches… N-n-now… H-hang on a second!
Look, Cookie Monster! I know we both want to win the match, but… but why can’t we be friends?Cookie shakes his head and keeps approaching. I brought you a present!Cookie keeps walking towards The Brain(geez, how big is this ring anyway?!) The Brain reaches into his costume and pulls out… A box of cookies?! Cookie Monster sees this and stops. COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!Tim Hoss: A brilliant bit of bribery by Brain!The Brain throws him the box of cookies, which Cookie rips open and starts devouring. The Brain breathes a sigh of relief… But Zombie Grimace yanks him off the mat! The Brain rakes the eyes… But Zombie Grimace just looks at him. The Brain smacks his own forehead. Of course! Because that’s a mask, raking your eyes was a pointless waste of time! Why did I not see that soo-!Grimace picks The Brain up and throws him over the top rope! The Brain has been eliminated!Meanwhile, Cookie Monster is sitting on the mat, happily eating the cookies. Baron Bad Beaver walks over… Jesse King: LOOK OUT, COOKIE MONSTER!And kicks Cookie Monster in the face! With Cookie and cookies sprawled out on the mat, Bad Beaver scoops up a handful of cookies… And crumbles them into dust, which he lets fall onto Cookie Monster! As the crowd boos, Bad Beaver picks up The Cookie Monster and throws him over the top rope! The Cookie Monster has been eliminated!Tim Hoss: What a BASTARD!BRAINS!!!Oh great, now I’m left with an evil beaver and a pissed off, dead, Grimace!…Screw this.Bad Beaver rolls under the bottom rope! …BRAINS!!!Jesse King: Not-The-Sam's gotta be careful here!Zombie Grimace charges Not-The-Sam, who headbutt’s him! Grimace goes down! Baron Bad Beaver rolls back in and helps Not-The-Sam dump Zombie Grimace out! Zombie Grimace has been eliminated!Tim Hoss: The brains of our remaining two competitors are safe...for now...Not-The-Sam and Baron Bad Beaver circle each other. Not-The-Sam charges, but Baron Bad Beaver dodges, then delivers a shoulder tackle! The force of the blow knocks Not-The-Sam backwards! Bad Beaver hit’s a second shoulder tackle, knocking Not-The-Sam against the ropes! Not-The-Sam staggers forward… Bad Beaver with a Superkick! Not-The-Sam goes over the top rope and to the floor! Not-The-Sam has been eliminated! The winner of this match, Baron Bad Beaver!Tim Hoss: Now it's time for us to see who everybody is.The Shadow is the first to remove his mask, revealing Connor Mackenzie. Jesse King: I feel really good about him being first out now that I know who he is! HAW-HAW!Next is Zombie Grimace, who turns out to be Bergman. Tim Hoss: Now that he's out of costume, hopefully Bergman's appetite for brains will go away!Speaking of brains, The Brain is revealed to be Ryan Blood. Tim Hoss: Blood will be competing for the World Heavyweight Championship later tonight, but I guess he wanted to try and get some insurance in the form of an Inter-Forum title shot in case he lost!Jesse King: I want to see if that paper bag guy is The Sam or not!Not-The-Sam unmasks to reveal...THE PUMPKIN KING! Jesse King: I was sure that was gonna be The Sam under there!Tim Hoss: The Pumpkin King was just being honest, King, unless he really IS The Sam! So far we've never seen them in the same place at the same time, you know. At any rate, it's an impressive debut for the host of this show, with him outlasting five other wrestlers!Cookie Monster takes off his head. It's Evil M! Tim Hoss: Heh, well, Evil M's costume this year wasn't as embarrassing as him dressing as Hello Kitty last time, but he still looks kind of silly there!Jesse King: Not as silly as you look every day! So we've seen two of the three guys who are gonna wrestle in the Hardcore Title match later unmask here. Think Vokoun's in this too? He did say he wanted to challenge for the Inter-Forum title!Tim Hoss: Maybe he's The Mighty Thor.*Thor turns out to be Amigo, however* Tim Hoss: It's Amigo! Perhaps trying to unify the Inter-Forum and F*** You WWCF World Openweight Blood and Guts Hardcore Brass Knuckles Deathmatch Championships!*Ro-Man takes off his mask and is shown to be Seth Drakin* Tim Hoss: Drakin apparently looking for two bites at the apple, as he'll face Gus Richlen--Jesse King: [spits in disgust]Tim Hoss: Stop it King. He'll face Richlen for the Inter-Forum title later tonight.Jesse King: Which just leaves Baron Bad Beaver.*Under Baron Bad Beaver's mask is...* Tim Hoss: Head Detective Aaron Enigma!Jesse King: This is like the second battle royal in a row he's won, isn't it?Tim Hoss: That it is, Jess! I wonder if his luck in these kinds of matches would've allowed him to win BattleBowl if he'd returned just a little bit earlier! Well, Aaron Enigma will challenge the Inter-Forum Champion at "In Your Apartment" a month from now!*As Aaron is congratulated by the referee and everybody heads for the back, the Pumpkin King takes his place on the stage and picks up his mic* Glorious! Simply Glorious! Our next Matchup is Going to TRULY be a battle for the Ages! Pitting a Genius in the form of the Indomitable Lanny Poffo against the Manageral Machismo of The Sam! In a Platypus Suit Match!
The Winner is the combatant that can successfully force his opponent into This, *Motions to the Costume* A Large UNWASHED.....funny The Sam was rather persistant on that point.......Platypus Costume!*Looks at it quizzically* It's needs a Hat.....*Puts a Fedora on the Costume* Ah....Now THAT's an Egg-laying Aquatic Mammal of Action!*Walks off stage humming to himself* Bow Chicka Bow Wow........[/quote] Tim Hoss – What a great night we’ve been having sor far.Jesse King – And it’s only going to get better. Coming up next, my good friend, the Greatest Interforum Champion of all time, The Sam, will be facing Lanny “The Loser” Poffo in a Platypus Suit Match.Tim Hoss – Well that is yet to be seen. But before we introduce the match, major news has come out that could effect this match. Earlier this week The Great Warrior attacked Lanny Poffo in the parking lot after Niteraw. Now The Great Warrior was charged with assault by the Parts Unknown Police and WWCF has fined The Great Warrior for his actions and suspended him indefinitely for the next 30 days. And if The Great Warrior shows up to interfere in this match, let alone any other match over the next 30 days, The Great Warrior will be fired. This means The Sam for the first time may be going into this match alone.Jesse King – Hey, tough break for The Great Warrior, but I’ve been talking to The Sam earlier today and I believe that he has the tenacity and overall finesse to put Poffo in the Platypus suit.Tim Hoss – Let’s take it down to ringside.Muffer – The following contest is the Platypus Suit match. Set for 1 fall. And it has a 30 minute time limit. (March & Fanfare – The Bobs) Introducing first. At the height of 5’9, weighing in at 120lbs. From The Samville, USA. He is the Greatest Interforum Champion of all time, THE SAM! (The Sam enters the arena to boo’s and “Platypus” chants wearing a blue robe and towel around his neck. The Sam struts down to the ring looking confident. The Sam walks across the apron and demands the referee opens the ropes as he enters the ring. The referee opens the ropes as The Sam enters and demands the referee removes his robe. The referee obliges revealing The Sam to be wearing a black wrestling singlet with black kneepads, black elbows pads and black boots . The Sam snatches his robe away from the ref and sends it to the outside as The Sam waits for Lanny Poffo.) Muffer – And his opponent; (We Will Rock You – Queen) At the height of 6’2, weighing in at 240lbs. Now residing in Largo, Florida. “The Genius” LANNY POFFO!!! (Poffo heads down to the ring wearing Blue trunks, blue kneepads and blue wrestling boots. Lanny high fives the fans as he heads down to the ring. Poffo Enters the ring as The Sam leaps out of it. Lanny taunts for the fans. The Sam however grabs a microphone.) The Sam – CUT THE MUSIC!!! First off, Muffer, that was a terrible entrance you gave me. You should be fired for that. Secondly, ref…whoever you are, how dare you try to steal my million dollar robe. I should be surprised but I’m not. Thirdly, Tonight Poffo. I’m going to humiliate you once and for all. Now in the past I have not had much success with the “Platypus suit match”. And The Great Warrior isn’t in the building tonight. But I feel that tonight you are going to be leaving here a loser. Just like all these fans are losers. Because you see Poffo, I’m a winner. I’m the greatest financial consultant in WWCF history, I was the greatest manager in WWCF history and I am the GREATEST INTERFORUM CHAMPION OF ALL TIME!!! And you Poffo. You’re nobody.The Sam steps onto the apron. Poffo tries to charge The Sam but the referee holds Poffo back. The Sam gingerly enters the ring. The ref rings the bell. Tim Hoss – You know, as this match starts I just want to inform our newer fans something about The Sam's Inter-Forum title run. He is by NO means "The Greatest" like he claims! He won the title through sheer good luck when a spotlight fell on his opponent Dave Von Halen, and after he started wrestling full time he won most of his matches because that man right there--Lanny Poffo--kept interfering on his behalf along with Tyfo! And how did he repay Lanny? He fired him!Jesse King – Lanny was dead weight, Gorilla! Tyfo was the one who did all the real work!Tim Hoss – Aha! So you admit that The Sam needed help!Jesse King – Of course not! Don't be stupid.Bell rings The Sam immediately jumps out of the ring and grabs the microphone. “HOLD ON A SECOND! Ref! Did you check him? Did you check Poffo? I think he has something in his tights.”(The ref and Poffo oblige as the ref checks Poffo’s tights for a foreign object. The ref finds nothing.) “Check his boots! I saw him slip something into his boots!”Tim Hoss – Oh for the love of god.(Lanny Poffo steps towards the ropes and yells “WHY DON’T YOU JUST GET IN HERE AND FIGHT?”) “Yeah, you would like that? Then as soon as I step through the ropes you hit me with that foreign object. Check his boots ref.”(Lanny obliges and let’s the ref check his boots. Lanny motions to The Sam to get in the ring.) “…Wait! Check his tights again.”Tim Hoss – Calling The Sam a platypus is too lenient when he's being such a chicken!Jesse King – Hey, NOBODY calls The Sam "chicken"! I for one salute his taking these precautions.Tim Hoss – Well, our fans in attendance beg to differ with you on that, King!Lanny has enough and heads to the outside and chases after The Sam. Both men run around the ring until The Sam slides into the ring. Lanny follows The Sam but The Sam is ready and stomps away on Lanny Poffo. The Sam starts punching away at Lanny. Lanny pushes The Sam back before spear tackling The Sam to the mat. Tim Hoss – This has broken down into a brawl, folks!Both men are rolling around hitting each other. The referee separates both men. As the ref is getting Lanny away The Sam pulls a pair of brass knucks from his boots and attempts to throw a punch at Poffo. Tim Hoss – THE SAM with brass knucks! What a hypocrite!Jesse King – He is not, apeman! The Sam was stressing the importance of searching for foreign objects prior to a wrestling match, and now he's proving how important that is by using a foreign object! He's really doing everybody a service when you think about it!But Lanny see’s it coming and ducks the punch before locking in a sleeper hold. Tim Hoss – Well, hypocrite or not, that foreign object didn't do him any good! Poffo with a sleeper!The Sam is trying to fight it before he eventually falls unconscious. The referee holds The Sam’s arm up before dropping it. 1 The referee holds The Sam’s arm up again before dropping it. 2 The referee holds The Sam’s arm up one more time before dropping it. 3 The referee rings the bell. Muffer – Here is the winner of the match, LANNY POFFO!!! Jesse King – Oh no!Lanny Poffo reaches out to someone to the outside who hands him a Platypus suit. The Sam is laying unconscious in the middle of the ring. Lanny and the ref put the platypus suit on the Sam. Jesse King – I can't watch!Tim Hoss – The Sam has nobody to blame for this but himself, King!As Lanny has finished The Sam starts to regain consciousness. The fans begin chanting “Platypus!”. The Sam goes to wipe the sweat off his brow and notices his hand is now a paw. The Sam realizes what has just happened and charges at a laughing Lanny Poffo. The Sam however has no grip and slips and trips over as Lanny leaves the ring. The Sam is infuriated and almost in tears trying to get out of the platypus suit. He eventually make his way to the back. AnyWay! Next up Is an Inferno Match for the Championship of Honor! The Usual Rules of Honor still apply, but the ONLY way to win is to use the Ring of Fire (Oh-ha-ha) surrounding the Ring of Wrestling to....LIGHT THIER OPPONENT ABLAZE!*Regains Composure.....* I mean.....how horrible......Michael Muffer: The following contest is an Inferno Match for the Championship Of Honor! Introducing first, from Strafford NH and weighing in at 230 lbs: HEAD DETECTIVE AARON ENIGMA!*"Cry For Help"* *Purple pyro goes off before Aaron appears holding up his magnifying glass out on the entrance ramp. He brings the magnifying glass to his face and looks through it as he points to the crowd. He walks down the ramp high-fiving the crowd and eventually gives his magnifying glass and fedora to a fan.* Michael Muffer: And his opponent!*
*"Remember The Name"*
Michael Muffer: From Halifax, NS, Canada, weighing in at 225 lbs...he is the WWCF Champion Of Honor...THE CANADIAN DRAGON, CONNOR MACKENZIE!
*Connor walks out to a big pop, his hood obscuring his face, high fiving the fans along the way and giving his tabard to one at ringside. He joins Aaron in the ring and immediately both men are surrounded by flames*
Connor Mackenzie vs. Aaron Enigma Championship Of Honor
*Aaron looks as the ring apron is lit on fire. He looks apprehensive about fighting in a match under the Rules of Honor and Inferno rules, but he looks to Connor and extends his hand. Connor takes his hand and shakes it before the two back up and get ready to fight*
Hoss: And we're about to get under way here folks. An amazing turn of events have transpired just moments ago though King.
King: I'll say Hoss. This has become a Rules of Infernal Honor match!
Hoss: ...please tell me you didn't just make that up.
King: Nope, had that one waiting for a loooong time. Haha!
The two lock up in the middle of the ring, Aaron turning into a headlock on Connor. Connor easily breaks out before transitioning to a hammerlock. Aaron spins around turning the hammerlock on Connor, who manages to flip Aaron over onto his back and lock in a chinlock. Aaron catches Connor's head in a leg scissors but he quickly breaks it and both men stand up.
Hoss: A quick back and forth to begin this match. Both men showing their technical prowess here and what a display it is.
King: Booooring. Though at least neither of them are doing any stupid high-flying stuff.
After another lock up, Aaron manages to get the upper hand and whips Connor into the ropes. Aaron misses a clothesline as Connor ducks and he comes back with a big shoulder tackle, knocking Aaron down. Aaron ducks under Connor as he runs over him again, jumping up and hitting a big clothesline on Connor before moving to pick him up quickly. Connor counters though and hits a big right hand before whipping Aaron into the corner.
Connor charges at Aaron but Aaron gets a foot up to stop Connor in his tracks. Aaron quickly grabs Connor and hits him with a sitout suplex slam, quickly locking in a chinlock on Connor. Connor manages to fight to his feet though and elbows Aaron in the stomach. Connor escapes the hold and bounces off the ropes hitting a big spinning heel kick to send Aaron to the mat.
Hoss: What an exchange here King! These two competitors are going all out in this match.
King: The only thing I'm excited about is seeing the possibility of seeing Connor Mackenzie being burnt to a crisp. I have to hand it to this Pumpkin King. He knows how to pick 'em.
Connor picks Aaron up and hits a big vertical suplex on him. Aaron is clearly dazed as Connor lifts him up and throws him into the ropes. Aaron bounces off and gains his bearings just in time to duck under a leg lariat. He bounces off once more and jumps over the prone Connor but Connor springs back up and the two collide, clotheslining each other and falling to the mat.
Hoss: And both men are down!
King: They cleaned each other's clocks there, Hoss.
Both men are slow to get up but Connor gets up first. He goes over to grab Aaron but Aaron slugs him in the stomach and explodes up after that. He grabs Connor and hits him with a big STO!
Hoss: Huge STO by The Head Detective! Mackenzie is leveled!
King: I can't believe I'm saying this but way to go Enigma!
Aaron lifts up Connor and throws him to the ropes. Connor however climbs the ropes and jumps back, hitting Aaron with a Whisper in the Wind!
Hoss: Bah gawd King! A whisper in the wind off the ropes! What athleticism! Mackenzie reaching deep for that one!
King: Whatever Gorilla, Mackenzie could have lost it right there if he'd messed that up!
Aaron manages to get up, using the ropes for leverage, but being careful because of the flames. He moves over to Connor, but Connor hits an arm drag and locks in an armbar. Aaron slowly and painfully gets to his feet. He tries breaking the hold but Connor quickly counters with a knee to the stomach before lifting Aaron up and hitting a gutbuster.
Hoss: And Mackenzie slowing things down a bit now.
Aaron grabs his stomach in pain as Connor takes a moment to collect himself and shake some cobwebs out of his head. He picks up Aaron and throws him to the ropes. Aaron however jumps and springs off the second rope, twisting in midair and nailing Connor with a huge clothesline!
King: And Enigma being almost as dumb with that clothesline! But Mackenzie is down again!
Aaron manages to get up first and attempts to lift Connor up for a Brilliant Deduction. Connor manages to wriggle his way out of the move though and instead hits a big jawbreaker on Aaron. Connor quickly gets up and bounces off the ropes, dropping Aaron with a big bulldog.
Both men appear exhausted as Connor lifts Aaron up and locks in the Dragon's Grip on him. He drops him down and Aaron frantically writhes around trying to break the hold. His arm slowly begins to fall as the hold does its damage. Connor releases the hold once he thinks Aaron is out cold and stands up, taking a moment to collect his breath.
Hoss: Dragon's Grip! Mackenzie with the Dragon's Grip on Aaron Enigma!
King: Too bad he can't WIN BY SUBMISSION! Idiot...
Hoss: King, you and I both know that a hold like that can wear a person down incredibly.
King: You ask me it's a waste, Gorilla. He can't win with it and he's wasting too much of his own strength with it.
Connor picks up the half-lidded Aaron and throws him into the corner. He chops Aaron in the chest and Aaron shows no signs of response. Connor chops him again and once again Aaron shows no movement. Connor backs up and runs at Aaron, slamming him with a big clothesline. Aaron is limp as he leans in the corner.
Hoss: Aaron Enigma is out of it. The Dragon's Grip might have put him to sleep. He's not showing any signs of life.
King: And Mackenzie's wasting time when he should be trying to burn his opponent!
Connor backs up and charges again, but Aaron suddenly snaps his eyes open and smirks, hitting Connor with a huge clothesline. He lifts Connor up and hits a Brilliant Deduction before collapsing aside Connor.
Hoss: Brilliant Deduction! Brilliant Deduction by Enigma! It could be over!
King: Haha! He was playing possum! Do it again! Or better yet, let's get that on slow-mo instant replay! I want that on DVD!
Aaron barely manages to get up with help from the ropes. He moves over to Connor and picks him up. He signals once more for the Brilliant Deduction, but as he lifts him up, Connor knees him in the face. Aaron staggers as Connor quickly runs behind him. He grabs Aaron arms and twists him around before hitting him with a big spinning impaler. Aaron goes crashing to the mat and his leg hangs out of the ring.
Hoss: And Mackenzie with the desperation spinning impaler! What impact! Oh no! Enigma's leg! Someone get a fire extinguisher!
King: What?! NO! Damnit Mackenzie! He got lucky again Hoss!
Aaron's leg lights up from the fire as the bell sounds and the fire is quickly extinguished by the crew outside the ring.
=======================
After the match, Aaron slowly gets up and grabs the belt before moving to Connor who is exhausted. He slowly lifts Connor up and hands him the belt before raising his arm in victory. He gives Connor a hug and exits the ring, letting Connor enjoy his moment of glory.
Hoss: I don't think there was a lot of luck involved, King. Mackenzie I think just showed that he's willing to go toe to toe to defend that title. That's two former world champion's that he has defeated now.
King: Yeah, two flukes if you ask me.
*The Pumpkin King returns to the stage*
Our Next match is of my own invention......For the Hardcore Title...I bring you: The Pumpkin Smasher Three Way Dance! The only way to Eliminate your opponent and win the match. Is as Follows.[/font][/size] *Three Large Thugs Come bearing 3 pumpkins, each bearing the face of Evil M, Bergman, or Smokin Vokoun. They are each placed on a seperate pedestal* To eliminate your opponent you must......SMASH! the pumpkin over the head of the person who's visage is pictured upon it......that's not very "Hardcore" is it? Fine all you psychopaths......how about we bump this up a bit? *Grabs three Sterno Cans, lights them and places them inside each Jack-o-lantern, gving them an eerie glow* There MUCH more....Festive!
Enjoy the show! Hoss:Ummm......that's....interesting. King: Hey, I love it!!! Hardcore matches don't always have to be blood fests. Hoss: Tell that to our Hardcore champion.Muffer: This..."Pumpkin Match" is for the WWCF Hardcore Championship!!!!-Rock You Like a Hurricane by Scorpion plays to massive heat. Muffer: Coming the aisle...the first participant....from Rockland, Massachusetts....weighing in at 307 pounds...EVIL M!!!!!-Evil M walks past the pedestals with the pumpkins and stares at his own pumpkin and smirks. Hoss: King, I'm still in shock at what Evil M did to Bergman last week, leaving him high and dry while he was getting his butt kicked by Smokin Vokoun and The Punisher, that was such a despicable act on his part. He makes me sick.King: Oh come on Gorilla, Evil M did the right thing in my opinion. Bergman was stupid enough to not be able to aim his dropsault. It hit Evil M with it, and Evil M couldn't take Berman's crap anymore. -"99 Problems" - Hugo plays as the crowd pops huge Muffer: His opponent, from Fulton New York, weighing in at 219 pounds...BERGMAN!!!!!!-Bergman also walks past the Pumpkins and is very interested in how he looks on it. He then sees Evil M standing in the ring and gets a serious look on his face. Hoss: All I have to say King is, I don't want to be Evil M when these two get it on.
-Ironman by Black Sabbath plays to MASSIVE HEAT!!!! King: Well...Gorilla, they might want to hold off on that...BECAUSE HERE COMES THE WACKO!!!!Muffer: And finally....representing VivA Inc....from Chicago, Illinois...weighing in at 280 pounds....he is the WWCF Hardcore Champion....SMOKIN VOKOUN!!!!!!!!-Vokoun walks out and screams as usual. He walks past his own pumpkin and screams at it as well. He walks into the ring and glares at both of his opponents. Hoss: This is going to be real interesting. This is not your average Hardcore match.-The moment the bell rings, all three wrestlers sprint out of the ring and run to the pumpkins at the enterance ramp. Evil M is in the lead, with Smokin Vokoun following and Bergman at the rear. Bergman then catches up to Vokoun and the two start brawling. M reaches the pumpkins, as he's about to reach for Smokin Vokoun's pumpkin, he stops. He then looks over to his own pumpkin, picks it up AND HE SMASHES HIS OWN PUMPKIN ON THE GROUND!!!! Hoss: What in the hell is Evil M doing???!!!! Did Evil M just eliminate himself?? King: No no, he did it so no one can eliminate him I believe....by the rules...HE SHOULD BE THE NEW HARDCORE CHAMPION!!!!!-Evil M starts taunting the crowd and celebrates his cunning plan. But then an official walks out with a SECOND Evil M pumpkin and puts it on the pedestal. Evil M is in shock and screams at the official. Well then Evil M just takes that second AND HE SMASHES IT ON THE GROUND AGAIN!!!!! Hoss: OH COME ON!!!! EVIL M IS A SCUMBAG!!!!! King: Hey he's smart, hell he's smarter than his two opponents AND WWCF management.-Evil M taunts the crowd to MASSIVE heat. But then, a second official walks out with not only a third pumpkin...BUT WITH ENTIRE WHEEL BORROW OF PUMPKINS!!!! Evil M slumps to the floor with a stunned look on his face. Hoss: Looks like Evil M's plans have been foiled.
-While all of this is going on, Bergman and Vokoun are brawling around the ring. And are brawling back to the ramp. Bergman gains control of Vokoun, Bergman picks up Smokie AND HIT'S A BRAINBUSTER ON TOP OF THE CONCRETE FLOOR!!!!! - Vokoun is laid out on the floor. M see's all of this, gets up and goes to Bergman's pumpkin. Bergman see's this and stops Evil M. Both men are brawling all the way to the ringside. Evil M gets control and throws Bergman to the guardrail. Evil M then pulls a thrash can. He walks over to Bergman and Evil M whacks him over the head with the can. He does it again and again. M taunts the crowd. Evil M picks up Bergman and smashes his head into the ring post. M then throws Bergman into the ring and grabs a steel chair. Bergman is struggling to get up. M walks into the ring and stalks Bergman. Hoss: Oh man, Bergman is at Evil M's mercy right now.King: I tell ya Gorilla, we will have a new Hardcore Champion, here tonight!!!!-While all of this is going on, Smokin Vokoun gets up from the floor and is sneaking to the ring. He grabs a steel chair. Evil M stalks Bergman and is about to measure of Bergman for a chair. All of a sudden..BOOM!!!! Vokoun smashes a steel chair on Evil M. M drops the steel chair and it's picked up by Bergman. Vokoun hit's Evil M with the chair. Then Bergman hits M with a chair. And the two are ping ponging Evil M back and forth with the steel chair. After one more chair shot, Vokoun drops the steel chair, grabs Evil M AND HIT'S A DOUBLE ARMED DDT ON EVIL M ON TOP OF A STEEL CHAIR!!!!! Evil M is out cold as Vokoun and Bergman stare eachother down. Hoss: Oh man!!!! It's just Bergman and Vokoun right now!!!!- The two men run at each other and once again start brawling. Vokoun gains control and shoots Bergman into the ropes. Vokoun goes for a lariet, but Bergman ducks and Bergman hits a Dropsault!!! Vokoun falls into the ropes, but stays on his feet. Then Bergman hits another Dropault that sends Vokoun over the top rope and onto the floor. Vokoun stands up but Bergman FLIES AND HITS A TOPE THROUGH THE ROPES!!!!! Bergman lays in a few punches Vokoun a few times and gets off. Bergman is excited as the crowd cheers for him loudly. Hoss: This crowd is on it's feet right now Jess. They LOVE BERGMAN HERE!!!! King: What? I CAN'T HERE YOU!!!!- Bergman picks up Vokoun and throws some stiff Overhanded chops. Bergman then picks up Vokoun and hits a Tilt a whirl back breaker on Vokoun. As Vokoun writhes in pain. Bergman walks to the the ramp with the pumpkins. Just then...SMASH!!!! EVIL M COMES OUT OF NOWHERE AND HITS BERGMAN WITH A BARBWIRE BASEBALL BAT!!!!!! Hoss: I almost forgot about Evil M. King: MY PICK IS STILL ALIVE GORILLA!!!!!-Evil M smashes the bat across Bergman's back several times. He also smashes the baseball bat over Bergman's forehead. Bergman is now BUSTED WIDE OPEN!!!! Evil M then starts punching Bergman on his wound, making more blood flow from Bergman's forehead. Evil M laughs at Bergman and signals that he's gonna put Bergman away. Hoss: You might be right King, Evil M looks to put Bergman to pasture here. King: I can smell it Gorilla....I CAN SMELL IT!!!! BUWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!Hoss: Umm.....okay.....-Evil M drags Bergman close to the pedestal with the pumpkins. Between Bergman's pumpkin and Evil M pumpkin. M picks up Bergman and HE'S GOING FOR THE JOURNEY TO HELL...BUT BERGMAN FIGHTS OUT OF IT!!!! Bergman get out of it and pushes Evil M away, RIGHT INTO EVIL M's PUMPKIN!!! Evil M, seeing that his pumpkin is about to fall...MAKES A DIVING CATCH TO SAVE HIS PUMPKIN!!!!!!! Hoss: WOW!!!! Evil M makes a spectacular catch!!!!! He saved himself from elimination!!!!! King: He could play Center field for the Rangers with those skills.-Evil M puts down the pumpkin softly and takes a deep breath. Just then BERGMAN HITS THE B.F.T ON EVIL M!!!! FACE FIRST INTO THE PUMPKIN!!!!!! Muffer: Ladies and gentleman....EVIL M HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!!!!!King: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! DAAAAAAAAAMMMMMNNNN IIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!Hoss: Well King, Evil M's luck has run out it seems. It's down to Bergman and Smokin Vokoun for the Hardcore championship.-Bergman celebrates for a moment. But he see's Smokin Vokoun's pumpkin and is about to pick it up....BAM!!!!! Smokin Vokoun come out of nowhere and smashes a barbwire steel chair over Bergman's head. Bergman is seemingly out cold. Vokoun then goes and grabs Bergman's pumpkin. He is about to smash it on the floor, but gets an idea. He runs away with the pumpkin and runs back in the ring. King: OH...I see Vokoun's idea. He's getting as far away as possible from Bergman...so that he can bash that pumpkin. THAT'S PURE BRILLIANCE!!!! I have to admit.
-Vokoun gets in the ring and puts the pumpkin in the middle of the ring. Vokoun taunts the crowd, who gives him massive heat. He then decides that he is going to the top rope. He signals that he's gonna to a Flying elbow Drop ONTO THE PUMPKIN!!!! But before he's about to do. Bergman sprints to the ringside area and THROWS A STEEL CHAIR SQUARE ON VOKOUN'S HEAD!!!!! Vokoun falls down and slumps in the corner as the steel chair lands in the ring. Bergman gets into ring. He grabs Vokoun, jumps on the ropes AND HITS A RUNNING ROPE TORNADO DDT ON THE STEEL CHAIR!!!!! - Vokoun is out cold it seems. Bergman gets the same idea and runs out of the ring, grabs Vokoun's pumpkin and runs back into the ring. Bergman places the pumpkin in the middle of ring. He signals that he's going to the top. The crowd is on their feet, Vokoun springs to his feet...BERGMAN GOES FOR A SUPERNOVA OFF THE TOP ROPE BUT VOKOUN CATCHES HIM AND HITS A MASSIVE SPINE BUSTER ON TOP OF A STEEL CHAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hoss: OH MY F***ING GOD!!!! SMOKIN VOKOUN JUST BROKE BERGMAN IN HALF WITH THAT VICIOUS SPINE BUSTER!!!!!!!!!-Bergman IS out cold. Vokoun just looks down on him and gives a sick smile. Smokey picks up Bergman and carries him to the turnbuckle. Vokoun goes up to the top rope and picks up Bergman..AND HITS THE SMOKE BOMB OFF THE TOP ROPE ONTO BERGMAN'S PUMPKIN!!!! THE PUMPKIN EXPLODES!!!!!!!! Muffer: Ladies and gentleman....the winner of the Pumpkin Match.....and STILL WWCF Hardcore Champion.......SMOKIN VOKOUN!!!!!!!-Bergman is out cold. Vokoun looks down at him and laughs. He picks up the remaining pumpkin AND SMASHES THE PUMPKIN ON HIS OWN HEAD!!!! Vokoun screams at the top of his lungs as he holds up the WWCF Hardcore belt. Hoss: Well King....that was certainly very interesting. Might possibly be the most unusual Hardcore title match in history. King: I'll agree with you on that one. Vokoun wins his first Three Way Dance...he's hot right now. And at the moment, I don't know how anyone is going to stop this runaway train.[/center]
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Post by Mr. Socko's Brother on Oct 25, 2011 20:14:37 GMT -5
TH: What a night of Tricks and Treats, Jesse!JK: I'm starting to come around to the Majority Shareholder, you know that?TH: I'll concede that to you for now, but that's a discussion for another day because we still have more excitement to come.WWCF Tag Team Championship Match: Colt & "Brainbuster" Jason Allen versus Vincent Van Agony and Jeremy DupoeTH: Just to recap, Viva, Inc captured the titles in the eleventh hour of the Tag Team Championship match at Gookermania IV when Viva and the Mad Pirate Mulligan cashed in Whitey Fats's Money in the Bank Tag Team Title Shot on Ryan Bergman and Johnny Stone.JK: A brilliant move by itself, but calling the "Freebird Rule" on your own stable was even more brilliant in my opinion.TH: Cunning to be sure, but those titles don't keep themselves around anyone's waist, and Colt and "The Brainbuster" Jason Allen have stepped up to take them for themselves.JK: My money's on Viva, Inc, Gorilla, but we don't even know what the stipulations for the match will be. The suspense is killing me.TH: But first, let's introduce our contestants. Michael Muffer, take it away!MM: Ladies and gentlemen, our next match is for the WWCF Tag Team Titles!
Introducing first: the challengers!*The arena lights go out...* "You know that time in your life?
That single moment that defines exactly who you are?
Well that only stings for a second..." *Spotlights shine on Colt and Jason Allen as they walk out together.* TH: They are determined to win those belts, King.JK: They're too recently formed to take them though. Too thrown together at that.*Colt mouths the words, "Choose your fate," while Allen just fixes his stare at the ring.* MM: Weighing at a combined weight of 495lbs, they are the team of "The Story on Page One" Colt, and "The Brainbuster..." Jason... Allen!TH: "The Brainbuster" Jason Allen is a young buck with something to prove. This could very well be his first championship title.JK: You think Viva gives a damn? You think Dupoe won't use that against him?*Colt walks up the ring steps while Allen slides into the ring as the lights come back on.* TH: But consider Colt: he is the only Two-Time WWCF World Champion. He lost his shot at regaining that title for the third time, but he has the chance to get these titles now. He calls himself the "Story on Page One," and don't think for a second that he will let that go to waste because he's not the top dog all of a sudden.JK: I return to Viva - he doesn't give a damn what page you are on. If he has his way, Colt will be in the obituaries and Allen will be in the funnies.TH: The Brainbuster could very well fight with everything he has to be in the Story on Page One with Colt. Don't sell either man short.JK: I'm not selling them short, I'm just being realistic.MM: And introducing your WWCF Tag Team Champions...*The arena goes black again.* *Vincent Van Agony and Jeremy Dupoe rise from below the stage, the WWCF Tag Team Championship belts adorned over their shoulders. Viva is peering into Dupoe's book...* JK: You ever wonder what's in that book.TH: I prefer not to, King.*As the song lyrics reach, "Raise your hands," Dupoe and Viva reach the top of the stage. Dudley Boyz-like pyro shoots off, Dupoe slams the book closed, and they charge for the ring...* JK: Look at their intensity though, Gorilla. Is it this match or is it the book?TH: Well...*Viva slides into the ring while Dupoe walks up the steps and places the book in the corner before crossing the ropes.* MM: And once again, your Night of the Wrestling Zombies Master of Ceremonies - The Pumpkin King - here to announce the stipulations of the following Tag Team Championship Match...*The Pumpkin King walks out, mike in hand...* JK: This oughta be good...TH: Will it be a "trick" or will it be a "treat?"Pumpkin King: Next up for the WWCF Tag Team Titles is a Texas Tornado, Double Casket Match!TH: Whoa!JK: Wait, are the WWCF officials carting out three caskets?TH: But how does that work?Pumpkin King: Now you may say to me, "Jack, if it's a Double Casket Match, why are there THREE caskets?"
I'd reply to you, "Impudent cur! How dare you address your King so casually! GUARDS, TAKE HIM AWAY!"TH: Is the Pumpkin King mad?JK: Maybe he read the book...Pumpkin King: Anyway... the reasoning for three caskets is as follows:
The nature of the match makes it an Elimination Match, meaning there's a good chance that we could see a two-on-one scenario. Ergo, three eliminations!JK: Ha ha! Perfect!TH: Maybe the Pumpkin King isn't so mad after all...Pumpkin King: And confidentially, as I've been told I cannot kidnap or injure anyone tonight, I offer a special bonus to whomever breaks that Squid-Worshipper's Legs.
Jeremy, you're asking a lot of questions that frankly don't need to be answered.
I made the Pirate disappear and nobody noticed until he was gone; I might just snatch you out of your bed for fun too!*Dupoe motions for a mic* Pumpkin King, I have something that may be of great interest to you to see this. *the craptron comes on to show security footage of where Mad Pirate Mulligan was kidnapped at 6:45 PM the day after the kidnapping* *a woman walks into frame saying something about a "Jack" sounding very concerned and walks out of frame* It would appear you have an admirer I have a deal for you. You give up MPM and the girl doesn't meet her grusome dimise. You have until next weeks Niteraw or else the blood will be on your hands.She doesn't have to die "Jack", BWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA*crowd starts a "Yes it Does" chant* Jeremy....I've made an agreement with the Majority Shareholder NOT to injure, abduct, or otherwise harm any member of the WWCF Roster outside of a sanctioned match, which coincidentally is the only thing keeping me from snapping your legs in half like Peanut Brittle.
Sally's an innocent in all this DuPoe.....What If I kidnapped Ophelia? Besides.....I don't KNOW what happened to Mulligan! The Mad Bastard CAME TO ME!
He said He Peeked in the case and panicked......said that "No High-Falootin' Empty Suit Wuz Gonnae Fire Him" and he Fled. He told me to just make it look mlike I took him somwhere.
(Tearing Up a Little)
If you want me THAT badly Next week.....We'll have a little scrap. I warn you though, This week......this was about fun. But next week.....Hallowe'en....that's MY Night.
So my Squid-Worshipping Compatriot......next week you have a choice......
TRICK
OR
TREAT?*The Pumpkin King storms backstage* TH: What could Jeremy Dupoe have in mind for this "Sally"?JK: Best not to ask, Gorilla! Those two may throw down next week, but for now let's get this match started!*Viva and Dupoe lock eyes with Colt and Allen...* TH: The first important move is about to be made: the first partner in.JK: Looks like Dupoe is the first up for the champions, I think Viva should have exploded out of the gate.TH: And Jason Allen insists on going first. This should be an interesting start to the match.*The bell rings.* TH: Both opponents are getting a feel for each other...JK: Dupoe playing it smart; Allen, admittedly, is too...TH: Irish whip from Dupoe, the Brainbuster rebounds, he runs the ropes, he comes back around, a Lou Thesz Press from Dupoe!JK: He's taking it to Allen now! Pound his face in!TH: If Dupoe likes to "beat the stupid" out of his opponents, Brainbuster better be ready for his Ph. D!JK: Dupoe tags Viva in already?TH: Interesting strategy...JK: Looks like he buttered Allen up for Viva.TH: Allen tries to get up, but Van Agony's there with a double leg takedown.*Viva holds onto Allen's legs, then drops down, wrapping his legs around Allen's legs, and then clutching one of Allen's feet...* TH: Van Agony with a heel hook.JK: Good idea. Allen won't be able to resist being placed in a casket if he can't even stand up.TH: Wait, King! Colt is on the top rope!JK: What's he doing?TH: And here comes Dupoe!*Colt leaps off the top rope, taking Dupoe down with a missile dropkick.* JK: Get out of there, Viva!*Viva releases Allen's leg and rolls away onto one knee. Colt quickly catches him with a shining wizard.* TH: There Will Be No Encore! Van Agony is knocked senseless!JK: Not already!TH: And they're going for the casket!JK: Not if Dupoe has anything to do with it.TH: Neckbreaker!JK: One down, one to go!TH: But Allen has him with a snap suplex! Dupoe for another Lou Thesz Press! Spinebuster!JK: This can't be happening!TH: The Brainbuster is fired up now!JK: Take him down, Viva!*Viva throws a few punches and kicks at Allen...* TH: He's trying, but Allen is determined!*Allen bashes Viva in the face with his elbow...* TH: And Allen with a discus clothesline! Viva is down again!JK: But Dupoe is back up!TH: Dupoe with a neckbreaker. Colt with a Russian leg sweep.JK: Get up, Viva!TH: Viva with a kip up, but here comes Colt...*Colt arm drags Viva, who slides under the ropes and onto his feet.* JK: Viva with catlike reflexes...TH: But Colt's there with a baseball slide!*Colt returns to his feet, when Dupoe grabs him from behind for a German suplex.* JK: And Dupoe makes the save!TH: But here comes Jason Allen, back up and rearing to go.JK: Wasn't this a tag match?TH: Allen with a right jab, a left, right, left, left, and a right hook!*Dupoe is knocked against the ropes.* TH: Irish whip...*Viva grabs Allen's boot.* JK: That's how you do it, Viva...TH: But here comes Dupoe!*Dupoe bicycle kicks Allen in the back of the head...* JK: Up and over!TH: Allen to the outside!JK: But Colt's here to crash the party.*Colt reverse DDTs Dupoe...* TH: Overture! Dupoe is down!*Viva slides into the ring. He ducks a punch from Colt and spears him in the midsection - forcing him to a corner.* JK: Viva is a small package of strong muscle.TH: All this action and no one has made a move for the caskets yet.*Colt forces himself away from the corner, but Viva jumps and rebounds from the second rope, taking Colt down with a flailing kick.* JK: It's all about timing. You need to make your opponent forget about the caskets. Psyche them out.*Allen slides into the ring. Viva turns around is met by a snap DDT.* TH: Allen is back.JK: And Dupoe is not far behind him...*Dupoe stands over the reemerging Allen, he waistlocks him, hoists him up...* TH: Powerbomb from Dupoe!*Dupoe turns his attention to Colt. He picks him up, turns him upside down, and places him in the corner.* JK: And he's playing this smart.TH: Colt is in the Tree of Woe now.*Dupoe drops elbows to Colt's head. Allen and Viva return to their feet.* JK: Take care of Allen, Viva.TH: Allen with another German suplex!*Viva lands on his feet and waits for Allen to stand up...* TH: Viva with the back stabber!JK: And Allen is back down!*Colt falls off the turnbuckle. Viva helps Dupoe pick him up.* JK: Viva Inc is unstoppable, Hoss.TH: Jawbreaker from Colt!JK: No way!*Dupoe stumbles back from Colt, who runs to the ropes and avoids a kick from Viva.* TH: Million Dollar Knee Lift!*Viva slams to mat as Colt charges for Dupoe.* JK: They gotta stop him!*Viva takes Dupoe down with a running neckbreaker.* TH: High risk district time!*Colt takes a moment to catch his breath before he climbs to the top rope. Viva stands up...* TH: Flying forearm!JK: This can't be happening! They had this one!*Colt gets up and picks up Viva into a vertical suplex...* JK: Get up Dupoe!TH: He can only get to the corner for some sense of safety...*Colt brings Viva down for a stunner...* TH: Story on Page One! Story on Page One!*Viva bounces off the mat, falls through the ropes, and lands in a casket.* TH: Close the casket, Colt!JK: Stop him, Dupoe!*Dupoe jumps to his feet and bashes Colt over the head with his book...* JK: Yes! Dupoe threw the book at him!*Colt falls over the top rope and joins Viva.* JK: Close the casket, Dupoe!*Dupoe slides under the bottom rope and slams the casket shut.* MM: Contestants Colt and Vincent Van Agony have been eliminated!TH: It's down to two men with one deft stroke: Jeremy Dupoe and "The Brainbuster" Jason Allen...JK: Allen's up now, but he'll go down soon.TH: There's still two caskets, King!JK: Very economical of Dupoe if I say so myself.*As Viva's and Colt's casket is carted away, Dupoe closes the other two caskets.* TH: What's Dupoe doing?JK: I think he's buying himself time for later.TH: Another interesting strategy, but is he not giving Jason Allen time to recover?JK: The Scrambler will set things right.*Dupoe slides into the ring, but Allen is on top of him...* TH: Armwringer takedown by Allen.JK: Why didn't Dupoe take the stairs?TH: Allen with a half nelson, and now he's choking out Dupoe...JK: Dupoe cannot let Allen take control of this match.*Dupoe punches at Allen with his free hand, to which Allen releases him.* JK: There you go...*Allen catches Dupoe with a belly-to-belly suplex.* TH: Allen has been beaten on throughout this match but he keeps coming.JK: And Jeremy Dupoe is what? Chopped liver?TH: He certainly has been a champ tonight.*Dupoe, back on his feet, bends Allen over with a running knee strike...* JK: He is a champ.TH: Well... by virtue of the Freebird Rule.*Dupoe hoists Allen upside down...* JK: What kind of argument-TH: Allen's in trouble now!JK: Perfect! A tombstone piledriver at Night of the Wrestling Zombies... in a Casket Match for the win!*Allen forces his legs back to the ground, then he takes Dupoe down by the legs...* TH: Allen reverses!JK: Dupoe had him there!*Allen holds onto Dupoe's legs, sticks his leg between them...* TH: Figure four leglock!JK: Now's not the time, Dupoe!TH: He's using Dupoe's tactics against him. If both men have their way they'll have to crawl into the casket!JK: And the ropes won't help Dupoe this time.TH: Dupoe's keeping his cool right now, but how long can he keep it up?JK: Wait, the book! The book is right by Dupoe!TH: Can Dupoe reach the book?JK: Yes! Yes he can. He will...*Allen grabs a rope and pulls himself and Dupoe over.* TH: Jason Allen is savvy to it now too.JK: Son of a...*Allen hooks his arms over the bottom rope and pulls himself and Dupoe even further away from the rope.* TH: It's getting to Dupoe now.JK: Then his only option is to reverse it.TH: That'll be hard to do, considering the Brainbuster is thoroughly attached to the ropes now.JK: But he still has to try.*Dupoe sits up and just manages to punch Allen in the face.* TH: Dupoe fights back with another option!JK: That's how you do it!*Dupoe sits up again and throws another punch at Allen.* TH: Dupoe's determined to make Allen release him!JK: Keep it going!*Dupoe sits up yet again and throws yet another punch at Allen, but Allen unhooks a rope and blocks, to which Dupoe uses the momentum to turn Allen over, slamming him neckfirst into the bottom rope.* TH: What a reversal!JK: Yes! He has Allen on the ropes now! Literally!TH: What manner of pain could this be? Allen is taking punishmen to his legs and to his neck now!JK: Two birds with one stone.*Dupoe grits his teeth as he pushes up from the mat to apply pressure.* TH: I have to hand this one to Dupoe.JK: Yeah? You coming around?TH: I don't know about that. Allen deserves much credit too.*Dupoe releases Allen and crawls on all fours away to stretch his legs.* JK: Dupoe shouldn't rest right now. He should take this time to put Allen into a casket.*Allen grabs the second rope and starts to climb to his feet. Dupoe responds by trying to stand up in kind.* TH: That exchange seems to have taken a lot of steam out their legs, but they both know that they must fight on.JK: Don't kick at him, Dupoe!*Allen catches Dupoe's leg.* TH: Uh oh, Jesse... Dragon screw!*Allen holds onto Dupoe's leg once again. He jumps up and...* TH: Oof! What a painful way to hook in a legbar!JK: Not again!TH: Allen's not ready to give up on Dupoe's legs.JK: But this time, the book is right next to Dupoe.
*Dupoe reaches for his book...*
JK: Go for the head! The head, Dupoe!
*Dupoe bashes Allen in the knee.*
TH: Dupoe responds in kind, King.
JK: As big a tome as that is, it's much better used against the head!
*Dupoe throws the book at Allen's face, allowing himself to escape.*
JK: Now capitalize, Dupoe!
TH: Are you crazy, King? His legs are probably at their limit right now...
*Dupoe uses the top rope for support, but he drops an elbow to Allen's face. Allen rolls away, covering his face.*
JK: I understand that Dupoe is in pain right now, but wrestling is pain. Pain, and persisting through it.
*Dupoe gets back up, and drops another elbow, this time onto the back of Allen's skull.*
TH: Dupoe is taking it to Allen.
JK: I can get behind pulverization. It's gonna be hard to use the Scrambler with his legs in the shape they are.
TH: On the other hand, could the Brainbuster use his namesake?
*Dupoe stands up and bends over to stretch some more while Allen stays down.*
TH: What will Dupoe's next move be?
JK: If only Viva were out here to help him.
TH: It was quite the early pair of eliminations, but the fate of the WWCF Tag Team Titles rests on these two men.
*Dupoe grabs Allen by the leg...*
JK: Don't stoop to "taste of his own medicine," Dupoe!
*Dupoe drags Allen to the caskets.*
JK: Oh.
TH: Dupoe is trying to end this, and it looks like he'll do it!
JK: Damn right he will.
*Dupoe reaches the edge of the ring and stands Allen up...*
JK: Here it comes...
*Dupoe hooks his arm behind Allen's neck and lifts him up...*
JK: He's going for the Scrambler! He's going for the Scrambler!
TH: Can he hold him up long enough though?
*Dupoe's legs give way. Allen lands on the apron outside the ropes...*
TH: The Brainbuster is on his feet!
*Allen quiclkly grabs Dupoe with a half nelson...*
JK: Get out of there, Dupoe!
TH: Jason Allen did it! He's...
JK: Not so fast, Hoss!
*The casket falls over and Dupoe rolls out of it...*
TH: Oh! So close, but yet so far for the Brainbuster!
JK: But now Dupoe's vulnerable!
*Allen climbs the turnbuckle...*
JK: And here we are; the last resort of the strategically deficient: the top rope.
TH: Dupoe doesn't look like he's about to move...
JK: Ever heard of "playing possum," TH?
*Allen raises his arms for the Macho Man pose...*
TH: Here goes nothing!
*Allen leaps off the top rope...
But Dupoe rolls out of the way.*
JK: I told you! I told you, Hoss. I told you that this would happen.
*Dupoe stands up while Allen rolls around in pain.*
JK: The tables have turned again, and now Dupoe needs to finish this.
*Dupoe slides into the ring and grabs his book.*
TH: He's up to no good now...
*Dupoe sneaks his way to a spot across from the caskets and leans over his book.*
JK: What's he doing?
TH: Something crafty, to be sure.
*Allen gets to his feet and heads for Dupoe.*
JK: He clearly intends to bash him with the book again...
*Allen climbs to the apron, when Dupoe springs up and bashes him on the head, knocking him onto the last casket's lid.*
TH: Allen's down!
JK: But the casket holds! Get him, Dupoe!
*Dupoe discards the book and crosses the ropes. He carefully steps onto the casket and stands Allen up...*
JK: Have a Happy Halloween, Brainbuster!
JK: The Miskatonic Michinoku Driver - accept no substitutions.
TH: They broke another casket, King!
*Dupoe leans over the rim of the casket...*
JK: Ha! But Jeremy Dupoe still has his wits about him!
*Dupoe grabs the nearby bottom rope and pulls himself out. The bell rings.*
JK: Yes! Jeremy Dupoe did it!
MM: Here are your winners and still your WWCF Tag Team Champions: Viva... Inc!
*WWCF officials raise Jeremy Dupoe's arm in victory as he is handed both Tag Team title belts.*
JK: He defeated the Brainbuster and he took the match home for Viva, Inc! He earned it!
TH: That he did, by hook or by crook...
JK: And you thought Jason Allen would be able to do it.
TH: I tell you what, King. If Jason Allen had not leaped off the top rope, he probably would have.
JK: Coulda, woulda, shoulda, TH. Coulda, woulda, shoulda...
TH: It sure was an amazing Tag Team title match and we still have action on the way here at Night of the Wrestling Zombies.
*The Pumpkin King Returns, now dressed in a Negligee, Plum Lipstick, a Frizzy Black Wig, and an Oversized String of Pearls*
It's Astounding......Time is Fleeting......Madness Takes it's Toll..Now listen Closely.....Not for Very Much longer......I've got to....Keep Control......
Everyone having FUN?!
As you may have surmised from my little Spiel and this Getup Our next Match is the Rocky Horror Deathmatch for the Inter-Forum Title! Placed on stage is a Large RKO Radio Tower. Over that tower is a Bell, the winner is the first person to climb the tower and ring the Bell! Simple Really......until you realize that aside from that.....THERE ARE NO RULES!
~HAVE......FUN~
*"Let's Go Sunning" hits first as The General Of The Monkey Army pushes his shopping cart to the ring, the wind-up monkey in the front seat.*
Introducing the challengers, first, from Lansing, Michigan, weighing in at 225 pounds, The General Of The Monkey Army!
Neither the General nor Seth Drakin have competed for the Inter-Forum Championship before. The General's experience in hardcore matches could be a big benefit in this match.
Add that to the fact that he's in the ring with that damn Seth Drakin and the biggest incompetent in the WWCF, and his chances just improved immensly!
*"Turn The Page" is next as Seth Drakin comes out. He pauses on the ramp to stare at the tower nearby before resuming his slow walk to the ring.*
And from Stafford, Virginia, weighing in at 265 pounds, Seth Drakin!
The only reason that Seth Drakin is in this match is because of Ryan Blood's wizard father. But he is a former WWCF World Champion, and his experience truly makes him a force to be reckoned with.
Since when?! He was going to lose last week regardless of what Blood's father did, just like he's going to lose tonight!
*Both Drakin and The General are in the ring waiting for a cetain someone to arrive-
"ALL ABOARD!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
AIEEEAIEEEAIEEE!!!!!"
Smoke and flames begin to emerge from the stage as "Crazy Train" by Ozzy Osbourne kicks into high gear. As the iconic guitar riff begins, a hearse begins to rise up from below. The back end of the hearse is facing the ring, and once the car is fully emerged, nothing happens for a while, but then the driver's and passenger's doors are forcefully opened as if kicked. Sure enough, Gus Richlen and Shaelin Marie O'Hara come out of the car.*
And accompanied by Shaelin Marie O'Hara, from Peshtigo, Wisconsin, weighing in at 181 pouns, the WWCF Inter-Forum Champion, the "Xtreme Machine," Gus Richlen!
At Gookermania, Gus Richlen thought he had silenced his critics by defeating Caleb Fourchon for his first PPV win and the Inter-Forum Championship. But tonight, it's all about validation for him, as he wants to finally pick up a successful title defense.
VALIDATION?! We all know that Richlen cheated to win the championship! I hope Colt or Viva come out here an make sure he loses the title so he can be quickly fired!
*John Creed holds the title up before calling for the match to start.
There is a long pause, as none of the three men want to make the first move, but that decision is soon made when Richlen lunges at the General, who quickly engages in a slugfest with him as Drakin runs over, and it turns into a three-man brawl with no one getting the upper hand until Richlen bails from the ring and starts weapon searching.
The General tries for a running clothesline, but Drakin brings him down with a drop toe hold before stomping on his knee. He then bails as well as Richlen pulls out a Singpore cane. Drakin grabs a cane of his own and they both get in the ring, an as The General gets up, both men swing, but the General ducks and they nearly knock the canes out of each other's hands. Richlen promptly swings again and catches the General across the shoulders as Drakin brings his cane down on the right shoulder of the General.*
And it appears that the two allies are working together, at least for now.
*Richlen catches the General in the jaw with the point of an elbow, sending him towards Drakin, who clotheslines him with the cane, but as he continues moving forward Richlen back body drops him!*
On the other hand, it IS every man for himself....
*Drakin is caught a bit off guard by this and gets up, still clutching the cane, but Richlen Irish whips the General into him, and they collide and fall. Shaelin tosses a steel chair into the ring, and as soon as General recovers Richlen takes the chair and brings it down HARD on his back! Richlen turns and Drakin dropkicks the chair right out of his hands before kicking the stunned Richlen in the gut and DDTing him!
Drakin goes back outside and digs under the ring, eventually pulling out a table, but the General has recovered by this time and goes outside the ring to clothesline Drakin. He then goes over to his shopping cart, only to find that Shaelin has moved it to a different part of the ringside area. He goes to the other side, but Shaelin pushes it someplace else, almost running Drakin over in the process. The General finally gets to the cart and grabs a cardboard cutout of Colt, which he throws in the ring, but Richlen is on his feet, and he catches it and throws it back, hitting the General in the process!
Shaelin, meanwhile, is grabbing tables from under the ring and dragging them one at a time to the tower on the stage. She starts setting them up on one side, having some difficulty trying to stack them as well.
While all this has been going on, Drakin has belly-to-back suplexed the General into the crowd and is getting in the ring to retrieve MASSIVE SPEAR FROM RICHLEN!!!! Richlen almost somersaults on his face from the impact but pops back to his feet, sees the General climbing back over the crowd barrier, climbs the top turnbuckle, and flies off hoping for a Buff Blockbuster, but the General catches him and suplexes him onto a couple of vacated chairs!
Drakin, meanwhile, has grabbed the first table from outside and set it up in the ring. The General gets in the ring and walks right into a headlock takedown, but he rolls out of the way of an attempted legdrop. Drakin gets to his feet and is quickly clotheslined. The General then goes outside, looks under the ring, and pulls out a strand of barbed wire, which he brings to the ring, but Drakin uses a single leg takedown to prevent its use, or at least he tries to, but the General counters it into a monkey flip! Drakin narrowly avoids the wire but gets hung up in the ropes. This allows the General to clobber him with a low clothesline before pulling him off the ropes and dragging him onto the table.*
This does not look good for Seth Drakin!
And that's supposed to be a bad thing?!
*The General starts to climb the top turnbuckle, but Richlen climbs over the barricade, runs as fast as he can to the ring, and knocks him down! He then shoves Drakin off the table and puts General on before running up the turnbuckles, kickflipping, AND MONTANASAULTING AN EMPTY TABLE!!!!
The General runs right out of the ring and grabs the wind-up monkey from the cart as Drakin recovers and grabs another table. Drakin picks Richlen up, but Richlen has had a moment to regain some of his bearings, and Drakin lands in the table's wreckage thanks to a Carnosel! The General charges, but Richlen catches him and nails a reverse STO!
Richlen now takes the time to set up the table as Shaelin stops her table-moving expedition to reach under the ring and pull out a barbed wire-wrapped loaded pink elephant, which she tosses into the ring. Richlen takes it and is stalking the General, but behind his back General has taken the strand of wire and wrapped the wind-up monkey in it (causing some to hear anguished clapping in the ring), and as Richlen swings, so does the General, and both connect and go down!
Both of them are now bloodied from the barbed wire as Drakin starts to pull himself up. He spots General getting to his feet, so he hops on board and delivers the Tale's End!!!!
Then he sees Richlen getting up, so he tries for the same on him, but Richlen stands up, throwing Drakin off, and when Drakin turns around, he gets chokeslammed! Richlen then pulls the General up, lifts him up, AND PUTS HIM THROUGH THE TABLE WITH THE FINAL JUDGMENT!!!!
Seeing that the opposition is down, he bails from the ring and starts staggering towards the tower, picking up speed as he goes up the ramp, but Drakin picks himself up again and he also leaves the ring in hot pursuit!*
Normally these two would be allies, but on this night the stakes are just too high!
*The General stirs to see Richlen drop Drakin on the ramp with a German suplex, and then another, and then another, and then another! Richlen then sends the A-shirt flying as Drakin gets to all fours, but when Richlen attempts the Schwinn Smash, Drakin pops up and clotheslines him! The General wastes no time rolling out of the ring and heading for the tower!*
An now, ladies and gentlemen, it is gut check time!
*Drakin and the General end up in a footrace, with Richlen not far behind, but they start climbing first on the same side, right above the tables. Richlen takes a different side, facing the CrapTron, as he climbs.
Drakin slams General's head on a piece of steel repeatedly. He then tries to climb further, but the General lashes out with a Monkey Paw to the side of the head, CAUSING DRAKIN TO FALL TEN FEET TO THE TABLES BELOW!!!!*
OH NO!!!!
I guess we know one person who won't be winning this!
*Richlen has taken advantage of this to climb higher than General, but all of a sudden Vincent Van Agony walks out to the ramp an calmly climbs after Richlen!*
Damn it! ViVA only has one goal in mind here, and that's to screw Richlen out of the Inter-Forum Championship!
He's doing the WWCF a huge favor if he does that! The sooner Richlen is gone the better, I say!
*Shaelin suddenly jumps up and tries to pull ViVA down, but she can't hold on for long, and she has no choice but to let go of his leg as he continues to climb! The General sees that Richlen is distracted and tries to climb ahead, but Richlen pulls him down a short distance and wraps his legs around a beam, trapping the General! Richlen keeps climbing, but ViVA has mover over a bit as he keeps climbing, an he catches up to Richlen and kicks him sharply in the ribs! Richlen is in pain but holds on, and ViVA punches him square in the jaw! Richlen shuffles to the side an inch AND KICKS VIVA IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD!!!!
ViVA slumps, stunned, across a beam, and when he looks up Richlen is safely out of reach AND HE CLIMBS TO THE TOP AND RINGS THE BELL!!!!*
DAMN IT, NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Here is your winner and STILL WWCF Inter-Forum Champion, the "Xtreme Machine," Gus Richlen!
THE ODDS WERE STACKED SO MUCH AGAINST THE CHAMPION TONIGHT, BUT TO THOSE WHO SAY HE CAN'T DEFEND A TITLE, HE HAS SILENCED THOSE CRITICS IN RESOUNDING FASHION!!!!
He needs to be disqualified! ViVA was an innocent bystander!!!!
*Richlen manages to climb down as a fuming ViVA can only watch and as the General tries to extricate himself from the tower. Shaelin runs to the ring, grabs the championship, runs to Richlen and jumps into his arms, kissing him as he carries her back up the ramp... and then he stops as Drakin slowly stands up.
The two stare at each other for a while before Richlen offers a handshake, which Drakin accepts. Richlen then looks back up at the tower an engages in a glaring match with ViVA before heading to the back, with ViVA mouthing "This isn't over, Gussy. This isn't over.*
Our Final Match of the Night is our Signature "Chamber of Horrors" Match!
As you can now see a domed Cage is being lowered over the Ring. In one portion there sits an Eletric Chair, along the walls there are various implements with which to harm, spindle and mutilate your opponent! The LOSER is the Unlucky Schmuck that gets strapped into the Electric Chair when the Winner Pulls......THE SWITCH!
Don Pardo's Head in a Jar, Tell them what they win! Don Pardo: Well Pumpkin King! The Winner recieves The WWCF World Heavyweight Championship vacated by Whitey Fats!
Runners-Up recieve medical care at Parts Unknown General Hospital, A Copy of our Home Game, and Rice-A-Roni!
Thanks Don!
Let's not dither around anymore ladies and Gentlemen! Let's get to our Main event!
Muffer: Ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the main event of Night of the Wrestling Zombies 2011!
The following contest is the Chamber of Horrors match! And it is for the WWCF World Heavyweight Championship!
In this match, anything goes. In order to win, one competitor must place his opponent in the Chair of Torture and pull the Fatal Lever. This will render his opponent helpless. The man who does this will be declared the winner, and the WWCF World Heavyweight Champion!
*"DOA"*
Muffer: Introducing first! Hailing from Los Angeles, California, and weighing in at 240 lbs....JONATHAN MICHAELS!
*The top of the ramp is engulfed in smoke as video of dangerous film stunts plays above on the CrapTron. Michaels emerges from the smoke and walks down to the ring, climbing through the ropes and looking up at the cage hanging overhead, along with the Chair Of Torture.*
Muffer: His opponent!
*"Virus"*
Muffer: Hailing from Baltimore, Maryland, and weighing in at 208 lbs...he is the Commissioner of the WWCF...RYAN BLOOD!
*With the arena darkened, jets of blue flame flare up on the ramp, revealing Blood standing there with his head lowered. His head snaps up and he stares down at the ring and his opponent, and then starts walking down, the arena bathed in blue lighting. He enters the ring and the lights return to normal. The cage also begins to lower itself, and that's when Ryan Blood asks for, and gets, a mic.*
I just wanna make it known to anybody who might try to interfere in this match that I've enlisted the aid of a special enforcer. You don't see him right now but he's around! And trust me, you don't want to be on his bad side!
And Jonathan Michaels, here we are inside a gradually lowering steel cage, soon to be joined by a gradually lowering "Chair Of Torture", and with all kinds of deadly stuff lying around us here. I want that title! I can do damn near anything in here to get it! And I will do damn near anything to get it! It's only because we're on more or less the same side these days that I'm even bothering to warn you.
Now Will Alphonzo, ring the bell.
*Right at the ding, Blood blasts Michaels in the face with the mic, sending him reeling into the corner!*
Jesse King: Hey, nice! Tim Hoss: Come on! There are no rules, but you don't need to resort to cheap shots like that! Jesse King: He said he was going to, Gorilla! This is for the World Heavyweight Championship! Maybe if JoNo had been more ruthless when he got his other chances to win it he'd have actually become a champion!
*Blood snarls and viciously starts putting the boots to JoNo before burying his foot in JoNo's throat and pressing down with all his weight! Alphonzo instinctively begins to raise his arm for a five count and then drops it; there are no rules*
Tim Hoss: Ryan Blood showing absolutely no mercy to Jonathan Michaels, and I suppose you'll tell me he shouldn't be, King. Jesse King: Absolutely not! You're gonna show mercy to a guy when your goal is to run a few million volts through him at the end of the match? Maybe give him serious brain damage, as has happened before, to BRB? No way, you've gotta go in there and just punish the poor bastard as hard as you can and check your conscience at the cage door!
*As Blood continues to choke him, JoNo summons the energy to fire up a foot and nail Blood in the crotch! Blood hits the mat and lies there in pain*
Tim Hoss: Well, I guess that's the flipside of there being no rules!
*JoNo slowly brings himself back up and catapults Blood over the top rope! Blood crashes to the floor outside, narrowly missing a giant stuffed spider!*
Tim Hoss: Ryan Blood slamming into that concrete floor with sickening force! We should note that when it comes to hardcore matches Jonathan Michaels has a great deal more experience than Ryan Blood! So Blood might be out of his element here, and we'll see whether he can adjust.
*Baseball slide from Michaels is JUST dodged by Blood, who whips him into a corner of the cage inhabited by THE YETAY!!!!*
Jesse King: AAAHH! WHAT IS THAT?! Tim Hoss: IT'S THE YETAY!!! Jesse King: I remember what the Yetay did to Hulk Hogan, but is that the original guy? An imitator? A mannequin? A robot? What?
*Unfortunately for JoNo, the Yetay is indeed a robot; it applies its rear bearhug of death to Michaels!* Jesse King: That...that's just a bearhug, right Hoss? Tim Hoss: We can only hope.
*With JoNo fading, Blood nails him with a superkick! JoNo's head snaps back and completely by accident collides with the face of the Yetay! That happens to be the location of the Yetay's on/off switch and it powers down, freeing him, but Michaels Flair flops to the floor as soon as he's released*
Tim Hoss: Ryan Blood just saved Jonathan Michaels by kicking him in the face! Jesse King: I think I'd still be grateful if I were JoNo! That Yetay is a perv! Tim Hoss: He's a robot, King. Jesse King: Okay, he was built and programmed by pervs!
*Blood starts unwrapping the Yetay's bandages and begins to wrap them around Michaels' head, apparently to blind him. But Michaels stops him before he can finish with a jawbreaker!*
Tim Hoss: Timely jawbreaker from Jonathan Michaels! Trying to wrestle the rest of this match blind as a bat would've been a sure road to defeat!
*Michaels tears away enough Yetay bandage from his face that he can see his target, and catches Blood with a belly to back suplex on the floor!*
Jesse King: Ouch! That's the second time Blood's hit the concrete floor! Tim Hoss: He seems to be holding up all right so far, but every one of those hits has to be taking a lot out of him.
*Michaels looks around ringside for something to use on Blood and finally settles on one of the leftover Bergman pumpkins from the earlier Hardcore Title match. Michaels gets a running start and swings the pumpkin at Blood, but Blood goes for a rolling elbow at the last second, which hits and shatters the pumpkin!*
Jesse King: Wow, what a shot! Tim Hoss: And what a MESS!
*Blood winces and holds his elbow, wiping pumpkin pulp off of it. Then he seems to remember that his opponent is still fine and looks up just in time to eat a clothesline from Michaels!*
Tim Hoss: I think his priorities were a little out of place there. Jesse King: Maybe he thought the pumpkin was the source of JoNo's power?
*Michaels sees the lowering chair and goes to roll Blood into the ring--when out of nowhere, Blood turns into a camel!*
Jesse King: WHAT THE HELL?! Tim Hoss: [sighs] Gee, I wonder who could be responsible for this!
*A shocked Michaels quickly drops Ryan Blood The Camel before he gives himself the worst hernia in the history of the WWCF (at the very least) and then looks around outside the cage. Sure enough, Rynathapolis Blood Sr. is standing outside, smirking*
Tim Hoss: That's Ryan Blood's evil wizard father, who's vowed to keep on sabotaging Blood's matches until his son gives up wrestling and goes into the family business of evil wizardry! I don't know whether he's trying to help Ryan or JoNo, since neither one is in a position to strap the other into the Chair Of Torture right now! All I know is that he's wasting everybody's time! Jesse King: [snickering] Hey Gorilla, I can see Ryan Blood's camel toe. Tim Hoss: [sighs in exasperation] Dammit King...
*Michaels glares at the wizard...and then suddenly...*
*"King Kong 2004"*
Tim Hoss: That's the General's music! Jesse King: But where is he?
*THE WIND UP MONKEY COMES CHARGING DOWN THE RAMP AT RYNATHAPOLIS, CYMBALS CLANGING FURIOUSLY!*
Tim Hoss: BAH GAWD, THE WIND UP MONKEY! THE WIND UP MONKEY MUST BE THE SPECIAL ENFORCER! BUSINESS IS ABOUT TO PICK UP!
*Rynathapolis turns and laughs at the monkey, but the laughter dies away when he finds himself caught in the Crimson Bands Of Cyttorak! Before Rynathapolis can do anything to free himself, the Wind Up Monkey teleports him into the cage with Michaels and Ryan, both of whom kick him really hard. Since one of those guys is still a camel, the only way to appreciate just how hard Rynathapolis has just been kicked is if you too have had the displeasure of being kicked by a fully grown even-toed ungulate; suffice to say he's not gonna be doing anything for a while.*
Jesse King: Owwwch! Tim Hoss: Too bad he didn't bring a cleric or something.
*As the crowd begins chanting "WIND UP MONKEY" (clap clap clapclapclap), he transforms Blood back into his old self. Ryan is momentarily disoriented by the change, and that's all JoNo needs to stagger him with a punch and get him under the bottom rope*
Tim Hoss: The good news for Ryan Blood is that he's no longer a camel, and that's also the bad news!
*Michaels climbs onto the ring apron, but is hit with a shoulder to the gut from Blood before he can enter the ring! As his opponent doubles over, Blood grabs a casket from the other side of the ring and sets it down near Michaels. Blood brings Michaels into the ring with a vertical suplex onto the casket! Michaels hits it with a loud "THWACK!" and writhes in agony, but the casket doesn't break!*
Tim Hoss: You can hear the sickening impact of Jonathan Michaels hitting that casket all over he arena!
*Blood gets up and climbs to the top rope. He leaps off for an elbow drop--and amazingly, Michaels rolls out of the way just in time! Blood crashes into the casket elbow first and it shatters! Blood is buried in the splintered wreckage*
Tim Hoss: BAH GAWD, RYAN BLOOD HAS DESTROYED THAT CASKET, AND POSSIBLY HIS OWN BODY AS WELL! Jesse King: But JoNo's not looking too good either!
*Michaels takes his time getting up but finally does and pulls Ryan out of the remains of the casket. JoNo begins to strap him into the chair, but Blood suddenly comes to life with a kick to the stomach! Blood unties the strap around his wrist and hits Michaels with a bulldog!*
Tim Hoss: How Blood was able to hit that bulldog after crashing through that casket I have no idea!
*Blood grabs one of the pieces of the casket and slices open Michaels' forehead! A gusher of blood spurts out as the jagged wound is created!*
Jesse King: Shit! Michaels is bleeding the most that I think I've ever seen anybody bleed in any match! Tim Hoss: No lie, King! The sentiment "please don't die" wouldn't be out of place here!
*Michaels is bleeding buckets! Satisfied with his work, Ryan pulls the groggy and bloody Michaels up and sets up to German suplex him into the Chair Of Torture. Suddenly Michaels shoves himself backward, causing Blood to lose his balance and fall into the chair! Before Blood can get up, he's hit with a Fade To Black! Blood's body goes limp in the chair*
Tim Hoss: FADE TO BLACK OUTTA NOWHERE! MICHAELS WITH A FADE TO BLACK SENDING BLOOD INTO THE CHAIR OF TORTURE!!!
*JoNo wipes the blood from his eyes and begins to fasten the straps to his opponent's wrists and the dome to his head. Blood starts to stir, but Michaels stops any chance of a comeback with another Fade To Black! Michaels wipes more blood from his eyes and suddenly he drops to one knee! He seems dazed*
Tim Hoss: His opponent is strapped into the Chair Of Torture and isn't going anywhere after that second Fade To Black, but Jonathan Michaels is on the verge of collapsing from blood loss!
*With the last of his energy, Michaels lunges for the lever, grabs it, and PULLS IT DOWN!*
Tim Hoss: HE DID IT!!!
Muffer: Here is your winner and NEWWWWW World Heavyweight Champion, JONATHAN MICHAELS!!!
*Enormous and ridiculous quantities of voltage surge through the chair and sparks fly everywhere! Blood screams and starts convulsing as he's electrocuted! This goes on for almost a half minute before the juice is cut off and Blood slumps back down, losing consciousness for good*
Jesse King: Gorilla, the EMTs cannot get to this ring fast enough! Tim Hoss: I agree King!
*Michaels is lying prone by the lever, still clutching it with one raised arm. As the cage is raised, Will Alphonzo is handed the World Heavyweight Championship belt and goes over to JoNo to help him up. JoNo is still losing a ton of blood, and the EMTs that enter the ring have to tend to him as well as to Ryan Blood. Sara Nakatomi-Michaels is close behind the EMTs, concern for her husband's wellbeing overwhelming any joy at his victory*
Tim Hoss: I won't be surprised if Michaels needs a transfusion after this, and it's anybody's guess what the condition of Ryan Blood is! It wasn't pretty by any means, but you've gotta hand it to these two extremely tough competitors! Both of them gave it everything they had, and Jonathan Michaels has finally realized his dream of becoming World Heavyweight Champion!
*JoNo finally regains consciousness and is told he's the new champion by Will Alphonzo. A smile slowly spreads across his face, and as Alphonzo puts the title belt in his hand and raises it, he hoarsely cries out "YES!!!!". Sara's eyes light up at JoNo's reaction and, as he's helped to his feet, she rushes forward and almost takes him back down to the mat with a celebratory hug! JoNo hugs her back, and triumphantly raises the title belt over both of their heads as Night Of The Wrestling Zombies ends*
CREDITS: Evil M, Gus Richlen, Connor Mackenzie, Aaron Enigma, Smokin' Vokoun, Pumpkin King, BRB, Jeremy Dupoe, Mr. Socko's Brother
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