Hunt. Hunt.
Post by Thread Pirate Roberts on Aug 22, 2007 2:48:44 GMT -5
officialfan.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=offtopic&action=display&thread=1187412503&page=1 Previous Episode
Welcome once again to the Pirates Cove. This weeks guest is presidential candidate Latino Meat.
Now in an effort to remain fair and balanced I can not possibly interview my running mate.
So with that said I sent my assistant Stuttering Smee off to Las Vegas to interview MR. Meat at the Hard Rock casino.
We find Latino Meat in the Lounge at the Hard Rock at a table littered with campaign buttons which read "You can't Beat this Meat"
Mr. Meat is imbiding in some of his favorite adult beverages, while sorting thru his folders which read "Dirt on opponents"
Stuttering Smee approches the table and is greeted with a handshake and a button.
Guh-guh-good tuh-tuh-to muh-muh-meet y-y-yyou muh-muh-muhister muh-muh-meat.
And so it begins
1. What is your first order of business if elected?
When elected, not if, how about dem apples? Yeah, how about dem. Apples.
Ahem. My first order of business is going to be to elect Mayor Gordie Wilson to my cabinet. I heard that he is good at cleaning up towns; hopefully, he can aid me in cleaning up AMERICA. Either that, or hire Scarlett Johnansson as my intern. Whichever matter is more pressing at the time. Next question. Oh, yeah, kinda forgot there is no press today. Don't I look like a Monkey's Uncle.
* At this point Mr. Meat goes to a nearby table and kisses a baby. ** Unfortunatly the baby was being breastfed at the time.
2. Will you repaint the White House?
Repent the White House? That's blasphemous! Now get me that one little girl that used to say "Mother of Pearl" in that Crest Whitening commercial... stat! Oh wait, you said REPAINT... Oh, I apologize for I have misheard what you said. Don't call that lil girl anymore, her services won't be needed. And yes, the House will be Angel red. On the inside! I've always wanted to say that.
3. Is that a spork?
In my pocket? No. I am just very happy to see you.
4. Do stripes and checks go together?
If you said strips and chicks, then yes. Or perhaps even stars and stripes. The last check I wrote was to the NRA, but it's not like they held a gun up to my head. Was a slingshot, believe it or not; I guess they lack funding now.
* Mr. Meat proceeds to put a button on a random woman almost causing a piercing incident.
5. If you could, would you?
I already did.
6. What's your favorite tasty snack treat?
Snacks aren't that good for your health, my friend. But, when I must... *turns towards camera* I enjoy the wholesome goodness of Gummi Bears Fruit Snacks. A gush of flavor in every bite!
7. Do you really believe that it must be the shoes?
Either that or the hamstrings. Hamstrings... have you ever seen a hamstring? I picture a pig just running along, with a loose thread hanging from it's curly tail... poor pig. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.
8. Do you have an enemies list?.
I most certainly do not! What kind of politician do you think I am?! I put my legs on one pant at a time, just like everyone else! BAH GAWD SMEE! I feel humiliated! *whispers* when the cameras are off the air, let me know, And you'll get your list. Oh, how you'll get it.
* Mr. Meat suddenly stands up and yells "Drinks are on Meat!" looks around and sees how many people are there and yells "April Fools!"
9. If so will you have then killed?
What kind of animal do you think I am? If you said "the fiercest animal since Battle Cat," you'd be right!
10. What is your favorite holiday?
Christmas. I love giving people what they've always wanted. Take that as you will.
*Serious question alert
1. Where do you want to be in 10 years?
On top of your mom. Wait, we already went through this back and forth before, haven't we? In 10 years, I want to be settled down in my mansion in San Diego. Retired from the rap game, with everything I always wanted; my family.
2. What is your definition of happiness?
The girl of my dreams. And then meeting her beautiful wife. No, seriously... happiness is me, my daughter, and my wife, having a day at the park. No money worries, no extended family drama; just us three having fun. That's happiness to me.
3. What was your favorite childhood toy?
He-Man was my childhood. Can never be touched, and will never have the chance to. There's no joking when it comes to He-Man, just so you know.
4. What is the best thing you ever did?
The best thing? Be a father. Hands down, the most rewarding, yet humble, experience in my entire life. Just the way she emulates me, or how I can be on her level and understand her, and the way she's my tag team partner in crime... I long for that innocence, and for a few hours every day, I have it. And I want her to have it as long as possible as well. We grow up too fast, and that is something you never knew you loved until it is gone. So yeah, best thing I have contributed to... is being a dad to my lil one.
5. How do you want to be remembered?
As the man that got done what he set out to accomplish. Or just a loving guy that took care of his family, and was there when someone needed him. I don't need to be President to be remembered; as long as those closest to me remember me for who I was, then that's all that I need. Hero's get remembered, but Legends are never forgotten. That doesn't work in here, but I like the Sandlot, so that's what you get.
We had one last question for Latino Meat but unfortunatly at that moment Scarlett Johnansson entered the lounge, causing the Presidential hopeful
to leap from his seat and run after the startled starlet Waving a button.
Our last image of Mr Meat is of him being dragged off by security whilst yelling " Scarlett it's me Meat...Don't you remember me?
Your in my siiiiiiiiig!"
Edit: Next week a special surprise guest.
See you next time and remember at the Pirates Cove we always get the Booty.
Welcome once again to the Pirates Cove. This weeks guest is presidential candidate Latino Meat.
Now in an effort to remain fair and balanced I can not possibly interview my running mate.
So with that said I sent my assistant Stuttering Smee off to Las Vegas to interview MR. Meat at the Hard Rock casino.
We find Latino Meat in the Lounge at the Hard Rock at a table littered with campaign buttons which read "You can't Beat this Meat"
Mr. Meat is imbiding in some of his favorite adult beverages, while sorting thru his folders which read "Dirt on opponents"
Stuttering Smee approches the table and is greeted with a handshake and a button.
Guh-guh-good tuh-tuh-to muh-muh-meet y-y-yyou muh-muh-muhister muh-muh-meat.
And so it begins
1. What is your first order of business if elected?
When elected, not if, how about dem apples? Yeah, how about dem. Apples.
Ahem. My first order of business is going to be to elect Mayor Gordie Wilson to my cabinet. I heard that he is good at cleaning up towns; hopefully, he can aid me in cleaning up AMERICA. Either that, or hire Scarlett Johnansson as my intern. Whichever matter is more pressing at the time. Next question. Oh, yeah, kinda forgot there is no press today. Don't I look like a Monkey's Uncle.
* At this point Mr. Meat goes to a nearby table and kisses a baby. ** Unfortunatly the baby was being breastfed at the time.
2. Will you repaint the White House?
Repent the White House? That's blasphemous! Now get me that one little girl that used to say "Mother of Pearl" in that Crest Whitening commercial... stat! Oh wait, you said REPAINT... Oh, I apologize for I have misheard what you said. Don't call that lil girl anymore, her services won't be needed. And yes, the House will be Angel red. On the inside! I've always wanted to say that.
3. Is that a spork?
In my pocket? No. I am just very happy to see you.
4. Do stripes and checks go together?
If you said strips and chicks, then yes. Or perhaps even stars and stripes. The last check I wrote was to the NRA, but it's not like they held a gun up to my head. Was a slingshot, believe it or not; I guess they lack funding now.
* Mr. Meat proceeds to put a button on a random woman almost causing a piercing incident.
5. If you could, would you?
I already did.
6. What's your favorite tasty snack treat?
Snacks aren't that good for your health, my friend. But, when I must... *turns towards camera* I enjoy the wholesome goodness of Gummi Bears Fruit Snacks. A gush of flavor in every bite!
7. Do you really believe that it must be the shoes?
Either that or the hamstrings. Hamstrings... have you ever seen a hamstring? I picture a pig just running along, with a loose thread hanging from it's curly tail... poor pig. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.
8. Do you have an enemies list?.
I most certainly do not! What kind of politician do you think I am?! I put my legs on one pant at a time, just like everyone else! BAH GAWD SMEE! I feel humiliated! *whispers* when the cameras are off the air, let me know, And you'll get your list. Oh, how you'll get it.
* Mr. Meat suddenly stands up and yells "Drinks are on Meat!" looks around and sees how many people are there and yells "April Fools!"
9. If so will you have then killed?
What kind of animal do you think I am? If you said "the fiercest animal since Battle Cat," you'd be right!
10. What is your favorite holiday?
Christmas. I love giving people what they've always wanted. Take that as you will.
*Serious question alert
1. Where do you want to be in 10 years?
On top of your mom. Wait, we already went through this back and forth before, haven't we? In 10 years, I want to be settled down in my mansion in San Diego. Retired from the rap game, with everything I always wanted; my family.
2. What is your definition of happiness?
The girl of my dreams. And then meeting her beautiful wife. No, seriously... happiness is me, my daughter, and my wife, having a day at the park. No money worries, no extended family drama; just us three having fun. That's happiness to me.
3. What was your favorite childhood toy?
He-Man was my childhood. Can never be touched, and will never have the chance to. There's no joking when it comes to He-Man, just so you know.
4. What is the best thing you ever did?
The best thing? Be a father. Hands down, the most rewarding, yet humble, experience in my entire life. Just the way she emulates me, or how I can be on her level and understand her, and the way she's my tag team partner in crime... I long for that innocence, and for a few hours every day, I have it. And I want her to have it as long as possible as well. We grow up too fast, and that is something you never knew you loved until it is gone. So yeah, best thing I have contributed to... is being a dad to my lil one.
5. How do you want to be remembered?
As the man that got done what he set out to accomplish. Or just a loving guy that took care of his family, and was there when someone needed him. I don't need to be President to be remembered; as long as those closest to me remember me for who I was, then that's all that I need. Hero's get remembered, but Legends are never forgotten. That doesn't work in here, but I like the Sandlot, so that's what you get.
We had one last question for Latino Meat but unfortunatly at that moment Scarlett Johnansson entered the lounge, causing the Presidential hopeful
to leap from his seat and run after the startled starlet Waving a button.
Our last image of Mr Meat is of him being dragged off by security whilst yelling " Scarlett it's me Meat...Don't you remember me?
Your in my siiiiiiiiig!"
Edit: Next week a special surprise guest.
See you next time and remember at the Pirates Cove we always get the Booty.
