Hunt. Hunt.
Post by Thread Pirate Roberts on Sept 29, 2007 0:42:59 GMT -5
Previous Episode officialfan.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=offtopic&thread=1190609009
Greetings All and welcome to another edition of The Pirates Cove.
This Week we interview Blade Braxton himself, Who took the time out of his busy schedule to meet with us.
We find Mr. Braxton at 3 AM outside the WWE world headquarters, where we will be invading the video vault for rare materials.
Using techniques taught to him by Tibetan Monks Mr. Braxton gets past security and heads for the vault.
And we get to the questions
1. Do you find the Term Jobber to be degrading?
No, but apparently the president of the Mike Enos Fan Club, who sent me death threats when I profiled him as the Jobber Of The Week does. Note to Enos mark - pry yourself away from the keyboard and come say hi to me face-to-face in Indiana next weekend at the big WCWA wrestling event. I'd love to bust up a 150 pound geek... uhhhh.. I mean, I'd love to see 'ya there!!!
2. Where did you hide Hoffa?
I didn't hide him anywhere. He's alive and in the next room chillin'. I've gotta make this quick, though. He's just wet the bed and it's time for me to change which season of Golden Girls on DVD he's watching.
3. Favorite wrestling term to use in the bedroom?
"Mercy Mama" from the "Wildman" Randy West. I learned from the best teacher possible.
*Mr. Braxton Proceeds to copy a tape of S.D. Jones's greatest matches
4. Any funny RD stories?
None that can be stated here on this forum without Mrs.Deal castrating us both. And we don't want that, trust me. I've been there when she's visually castrated him, and that's enough to put the fear of God in me!
5. Do these Jeans make me look fat?
No. The fact you had to leave them unbuttoned and unzipped to get them on, and you are presently showing more cock than a rooster auctioneer on a Kentucky Sunday afternoon, well, that's another story.
* Mr. Braxton copies the best of Jose Luis Rivera
6. Trick or Treat?
Hell f'n yeah!! Greatest movie that ever starred Skippy from Family Ties. Long live Sammi Curr! youtube.com/watch?v=EefGvpLrZeg
7. Do you like Gladiator movies?
Not a big fan of them myself, but they seem to get my girlfriend hot when we watch them together.
8. Surely you can't be serious?
Dude, this interview is with me, not my b****. And don't call her Shirley.
9. Ever done a Blade Job?
No, but I almost cut my right index finger and right thumb off on my table-saw this year. I'll go out on a limb, worst pun ever intended, and state that I'd rather square off against New Jack, Mass Transit-style, than go through that again.
* Mr. Braxton then copies the best of the Nitro Girls purely for research.
10. What's the last thing you remember?
I must really like this Pirate dude, cause it's too f'n late to be coming up with semi-witty material.
Serious Questions.
1. Where do you want to be in 5 years?
Alive. I've had almost as many demons as a special celebrity Marvel Team-Up comic featuring Jake "The Snake" Roberts and Regan from The Exorcist. By the way kids, never drink alcohol and eat pea soup simultaneously.
2. Favorite Jobber?
Mr.X is my all-time favorite, but a close second is the silliest and most homoerotically named jobber ever - Rock Hard Rick from WCW. I guess Jim Herd must've nixed his real name of Erect Richard.
3. What accomplishment are you most proud of?
You may think something WrestleCrap related, perhaps writing the book or winning the prestigious King of the Forums dealybob, or having my wrestling footage featured on Troma's Toxic Avenger anniversary DVD. You may be right with one of those choices, but I'll swerve you by instead talking about accomplishment numero uno from back in the day - winning the weekly trivia question contest on my local Kansas City UHF TV station's weekly hokey horror movie show - Creature Feature. The movie was Destroy All Monsters. The question? What network was covering the big monster fight at the end? For winning, I got my name mentioned on TV and got a groovy Creature Feature t-shirt. For some fun Pirate Cove interactivity, the first Crapper to PM me the correct answer, I'll send you a prize!!!
4. How do you want to be remembered?
I'd want to be best remembered by - and have my eulogy delivered by - a 93 year-old Alzheimer's-ridden woman - "God bless Blade Braxton. She was the first man to be voted Vice-President of Underdog Hong Kong Phooey. He was a fine young...hey, did I just s*** my pants?"
5. Any upcoming Projects you wish to plug?
Anything I'd like to plug? Thanks for asking. I've got two things to mention.
One - buy my book... www.amazon.com/WrestleCrap-Book-Lists/dp/1550227629/sr=8-8/qid=1164771761?ie=UTF8&s=books&tag2=wrestlecrapco-20 It'll help me get John Thomas off my back. He's a motherf*****.
Two - Shawn Michaels' scalp. If he had some hair plugs, the guys at WWE.com wouldn't have to waste valuable time Photoshopping "hair" onto HBK's dome, and they could concentrate on more important things, like their wonderful "Bangin' With Ashley" column.
At this point Mr. Barxton Hurries toward a waiting Van where he puts his Ill gotten gains, Turns and throws down a smokebomb.
When the smoke clears the van is still there stalled out.
Mr. Braxton then makes me close my eyes til he speeds away.
Join us next time when our guest will be someone else.
And as always thanks for joining us on the Pirates Cove where we always get the Booty.
Greetings All and welcome to another edition of The Pirates Cove.
This Week we interview Blade Braxton himself, Who took the time out of his busy schedule to meet with us.
We find Mr. Braxton at 3 AM outside the WWE world headquarters, where we will be invading the video vault for rare materials.
Using techniques taught to him by Tibetan Monks Mr. Braxton gets past security and heads for the vault.
And we get to the questions
1. Do you find the Term Jobber to be degrading?
No, but apparently the president of the Mike Enos Fan Club, who sent me death threats when I profiled him as the Jobber Of The Week does. Note to Enos mark - pry yourself away from the keyboard and come say hi to me face-to-face in Indiana next weekend at the big WCWA wrestling event. I'd love to bust up a 150 pound geek... uhhhh.. I mean, I'd love to see 'ya there!!!
2. Where did you hide Hoffa?
I didn't hide him anywhere. He's alive and in the next room chillin'. I've gotta make this quick, though. He's just wet the bed and it's time for me to change which season of Golden Girls on DVD he's watching.
3. Favorite wrestling term to use in the bedroom?
"Mercy Mama" from the "Wildman" Randy West. I learned from the best teacher possible.
*Mr. Braxton Proceeds to copy a tape of S.D. Jones's greatest matches
4. Any funny RD stories?
None that can be stated here on this forum without Mrs.Deal castrating us both. And we don't want that, trust me. I've been there when she's visually castrated him, and that's enough to put the fear of God in me!
5. Do these Jeans make me look fat?
No. The fact you had to leave them unbuttoned and unzipped to get them on, and you are presently showing more cock than a rooster auctioneer on a Kentucky Sunday afternoon, well, that's another story.
* Mr. Braxton copies the best of Jose Luis Rivera
6. Trick or Treat?
Hell f'n yeah!! Greatest movie that ever starred Skippy from Family Ties. Long live Sammi Curr! youtube.com/watch?v=EefGvpLrZeg
7. Do you like Gladiator movies?
Not a big fan of them myself, but they seem to get my girlfriend hot when we watch them together.
8. Surely you can't be serious?
Dude, this interview is with me, not my b****. And don't call her Shirley.
9. Ever done a Blade Job?
No, but I almost cut my right index finger and right thumb off on my table-saw this year. I'll go out on a limb, worst pun ever intended, and state that I'd rather square off against New Jack, Mass Transit-style, than go through that again.
* Mr. Braxton then copies the best of the Nitro Girls purely for research.
10. What's the last thing you remember?
I must really like this Pirate dude, cause it's too f'n late to be coming up with semi-witty material.
Serious Questions.
1. Where do you want to be in 5 years?
Alive. I've had almost as many demons as a special celebrity Marvel Team-Up comic featuring Jake "The Snake" Roberts and Regan from The Exorcist. By the way kids, never drink alcohol and eat pea soup simultaneously.
2. Favorite Jobber?
Mr.X is my all-time favorite, but a close second is the silliest and most homoerotically named jobber ever - Rock Hard Rick from WCW. I guess Jim Herd must've nixed his real name of Erect Richard.
3. What accomplishment are you most proud of?
You may think something WrestleCrap related, perhaps writing the book or winning the prestigious King of the Forums dealybob, or having my wrestling footage featured on Troma's Toxic Avenger anniversary DVD. You may be right with one of those choices, but I'll swerve you by instead talking about accomplishment numero uno from back in the day - winning the weekly trivia question contest on my local Kansas City UHF TV station's weekly hokey horror movie show - Creature Feature. The movie was Destroy All Monsters. The question? What network was covering the big monster fight at the end? For winning, I got my name mentioned on TV and got a groovy Creature Feature t-shirt. For some fun Pirate Cove interactivity, the first Crapper to PM me the correct answer, I'll send you a prize!!!
4. How do you want to be remembered?
I'd want to be best remembered by - and have my eulogy delivered by - a 93 year-old Alzheimer's-ridden woman - "God bless Blade Braxton. She was the first man to be voted Vice-President of Underdog Hong Kong Phooey. He was a fine young...hey, did I just s*** my pants?"
5. Any upcoming Projects you wish to plug?
Anything I'd like to plug? Thanks for asking. I've got two things to mention.
One - buy my book... www.amazon.com/WrestleCrap-Book-Lists/dp/1550227629/sr=8-8/qid=1164771761?ie=UTF8&s=books&tag2=wrestlecrapco-20 It'll help me get John Thomas off my back. He's a motherf*****.
Two - Shawn Michaels' scalp. If he had some hair plugs, the guys at WWE.com wouldn't have to waste valuable time Photoshopping "hair" onto HBK's dome, and they could concentrate on more important things, like their wonderful "Bangin' With Ashley" column.
At this point Mr. Barxton Hurries toward a waiting Van where he puts his Ill gotten gains, Turns and throws down a smokebomb.
When the smoke clears the van is still there stalled out.
Mr. Braxton then makes me close my eyes til he speeds away.
Join us next time when our guest will be someone else.
And as always thanks for joining us on the Pirates Cove where we always get the Booty.
