Hunt. Hunt.
Post by Thread Pirate Roberts on Oct 23, 2007 0:03:23 GMT -5
Greetings all and welcome to a new edition of the revamped Cove. Please note the new scenery and logos, we spent almost $6.00 on them.
This week what better way to usher in a new era than with perhaps one of the most popular Crappers ever Godz!
We find Godz in his basement which he has converted into a large scale replica of tokyo, complete with tanks and screaming tiny people.
Hanging on a wall near the door is a variety of Godzilla suits......We chose not to ask.
On with the questions.
Silly questions
1. How does it feel to be an interweb celebrity?
You'd have to ask one. Seriously, I don't get it. I'm not even sure when people started to notice me/respond to my posts here. Next thing you know, I'm mentioned as a notable "f****t" under Encyclopedia Dramatica's entry on WrestleCrap. That's how you know you've finally made it.
2. Godzilla vs. Barkley, Who should have won?
Oh, Godzilla, no doubt. Barkley clearly fouled Godzilla time after time, with no calls. Godzilla was also not adequately familiar with the rules of the contest, and was fatigued at the time of the shooting because of ongoing battles with Mothra and Battra, in preperation for the release of 1992's "Godzilla vs Mothra". I believe the entire fiasco was simply a Nike PR stunt in colaboration with the US government in an attempt to make Godzilla, and Japan by extention, look foolish. Finally, I've heard from several well informed forces that Godzilla challenged Barkley along with David Robinson to a rematch that would see Godzilla paired up with MechaGodzilla, but the "ballers" chickened out. That doesn't sound like a winner to me.
And if I can give a serious, credible sounding answer to THAT...well, quite frankly, I should be President.
3. Who is your number 1 fan?
I'm still not sure I have "fans", but, uh...lets see...all the various moderators here at WC MUST be fans of mine, or else I would've been banned long, long ago. Notable WC names such as Erik Majorwitz, Jed Shaffer and Cactus Matt are all associates of mine. I've mingled (god I hate that word....mingled....sounds like something naughty you do in your pants) with such....beloved faces as Josh Woodrum and starwang (I believe I coined that name, as well.) But, Fabulous Swiss Franc actually hangs out with me. So the rest of you have some catching up to do. We're going to a hockey game in a couple of months so she can laugh at me while I cry like a little girl as the Atlanta Thrashers get even worse. Which no one thought was scientifically possible.
4. Any words of wisdom?
Sure. My favorite, most inspiring quote of all time, as spoken by the 20th century philosopher, Al Bundy, when a big fat stinkin' old lady calls him a loser:
"So you think I'm a loser? Just because I have a stinking job that I hate, a family that doesn't respect me, a whole city that curses the day I was born? Well, that may mean loser to you, but let me tell you something. Every morning when I wake up, I know it's not going to get any better until I go back to sleep again. So I get up, have my watered down Tang and still-frozen Pop Tart, get in my car with no upholstery, no gas and six more payments to fight traffic just for the privilege of putting cheap shoes on the cloven hooves of people like you. I'll never play football like I thought I would, I'll never know the touch of a beautiful woman, and I'll never again know the joy of driving without a bag on my head. But I'm not a loser. 'Cause despite it all, me and every other guy who'll never be what he wanted to be, are still out there, being what we don't wanna be, forty hours a week, for life. And the fact that I haven't put a gun to my mouth, you pudding of a woman, makes me a winner!"
5. Can I have an autograph?
Sure here you go
That'll be $50. You know I'm worth it, that hack Virgil charges $20!
(And yes those are Godzilla posters in my living room. You guys WISH you were that friggin' awesome.)
6. What did you have for breakfast?
Half of a day-old donut and a Mountain Dew. Remember kids, I didn't get this body by eating "fit" and "healthy", and neither will you.
7. Would you mind posing for this photograph?
As long as I don't have to take my penis out, fine. I'm not making that mistake around here again.
8. Candy corn or Skittles?
Oh, god, Skittles, no contest. Candy corn is kind of gross, I always thought. But my dog, Goji, loves it. But he gets constipated when he eats it so we don't let him have it anymore.
9. Ever thought of having T-shirts printed?
Actually, yeah, but I don't think anyone would buy them. I've tried this before. I was tired of striking out with the ladies in high school, so I decided to start advertising. We had to make t-shirts for a project in graphic arts class, I modified the Nine Inch Nails logo to read Nine Inch Steve (my name, duh.). Even that didn't do me any good, though.
Later on I designed a Johnny Danger (my backyard/e-fed/indy name) thong on cafepress. I know of one girl that's worn one....and I had to buy it for her. But that's another story.
10. Any words to live by?
Isn't this the same question as number 4? You're as bad as a myspace survey. C'mon, ask me who I'm "crushin on" and who I've hugged last. I dare you.
Serious questions
1. Where do you want to be in 10 years?
Alive. That's my goal. I set the bar really low, so if I succeed, it's great, and if I fail....I'll be dead so I won't care. I dunno, my immediate future is always so crazy its hard to think about the future. I'm preparing to start a new job, all kinds of fun stuff. I'd like to beat Oblivion on 360 one day. No time soon, though, I'm enjoying it too much.
2. Favorite Monster?
Well, obviously Godzilla....but beyond him and his pals, I'll always have a soft spot for the classic Universal monsters....you know, Frankenstein, the Wolf Man, Dracula, as portrayed by Boris Karloff, Lon Chaney Jr, Bela Lugosi, etc. Me and my dad never had much in common and don't always get along, but I'll always treasure the memories of watching those movies with him as a kid.
3. What is your best moment?
Hmm. Well, there's two actually, and you've all probably heard these stories before, but, I don't care. I haven't accomplished anything since then in life, so, you'll hear them again. The first takes place in October of 2002. From 2001-2005, I went to about 7 or 8 WWE shows, and I always dressed in a home made Hulk Hogan costume just for fun. I always had a blast, it was fun getting the crowd going and just doing the whole Hogan routine, parents would have their kids get pictures with me which was just a tremendous honor for me. Anyway, this one night in particular, I was going to Smackdown but Hogan himself was appearing at a Wal Mart of all places in my hometown before Smackdown to sign copies of his book.
So of course I was there, and since it was RIGHT before SD, I had to go in my Hogan costume. There had to be a couple thousand people there, and Hogan was around an hour late...but he made the announcement that he was going to sign everyone's book no matter how long it took. Security was real lame, telling people you couldn't get pictures with him, can't touch him, etc. Well the cool thing is, Hogan doesn't really seem to care about that, he's shaking everyone's hands, holding babies, posing for pics, etc.
When I finally get up to meet him, his eyes go wide and he just starts laughing and telling me how cool my costume is and all this, and he actually calls me up on stage, and he's like "Alright, you look like Hulk Hogan, but, do you sound like him?" and he has me cut a promo for him in front of all these people, and we end it with a stereo "Whatcha gonna do when Hulkamania runs wild on you!". Then I went to shake his hand, and he hugged me instead. It was bigger than WM IV and the MegaPowers, brother. There were people in the crowd crying. (Ok maybe not)
The second was, of course, WrestleMania 20, when all of MSG got bored by the horrid Lesnar/Goldberg match and started cheering for me and doing a huge "Hogan" chant when I was posing in the crowd. Got the pop of the night when I ripped my shirt off, followed by an equally loud chant of "Put a shirt on." Honestly though, I got goosebumps, man. Getting cheered by Madison Square Garden at WrestleMania? How do you beat that? Oh yeah, and Lesnar and Goldberg both flipped me off after the match. That was nice too.
4. Moment you knew WrestleCrap was for you?
I think a buddy of mine first linked me to it years ago. I loved the site and all the pictures/clips of all the old stuff I remembered. I wasn't too active on the EZboards forum, where I went under the name Yetimania (based off of a hilarious Yeti fan site that I found that I assume doesn't exist anymore). The main site is great and funny and all, but its really the forums that keep me coming back, as 99% of you are well spoken, intelligent individuals that I enjoy speaking with, unlike the rest of the internet. Plus, at least a few of you seem to like me, so, you've got good taste.
5. How would you like to be remembered?
Honestly? I just want to be remembered, period. If I've ever made you laugh, that's awesome. If I made you smile, I did my job. If I've ever made you mad, well, thats great too. You're mad because you know I'm right, and you're just a simplistic humanoid. But thanks for thinking I was worth the time to be interviewed, and thanks to everyone who read it. Both of you.
As the interview ends Godz puts on a suit and proceeds to rampage Tokyo, crushing buildings and laughing maniacally whilst crushing the tiny people.
We saw ourselves out.
Thanks for joining me on another episode of The Cove. Tune in on Friday when our guest will be the one and only(Thank God) Chibi!
As always comments and suggestions are encouraged!
This week what better way to usher in a new era than with perhaps one of the most popular Crappers ever Godz!
We find Godz in his basement which he has converted into a large scale replica of tokyo, complete with tanks and screaming tiny people.
Hanging on a wall near the door is a variety of Godzilla suits......We chose not to ask.
On with the questions.
Silly questions
1. How does it feel to be an interweb celebrity?
You'd have to ask one. Seriously, I don't get it. I'm not even sure when people started to notice me/respond to my posts here. Next thing you know, I'm mentioned as a notable "f****t" under Encyclopedia Dramatica's entry on WrestleCrap. That's how you know you've finally made it.
2. Godzilla vs. Barkley, Who should have won?
Oh, Godzilla, no doubt. Barkley clearly fouled Godzilla time after time, with no calls. Godzilla was also not adequately familiar with the rules of the contest, and was fatigued at the time of the shooting because of ongoing battles with Mothra and Battra, in preperation for the release of 1992's "Godzilla vs Mothra". I believe the entire fiasco was simply a Nike PR stunt in colaboration with the US government in an attempt to make Godzilla, and Japan by extention, look foolish. Finally, I've heard from several well informed forces that Godzilla challenged Barkley along with David Robinson to a rematch that would see Godzilla paired up with MechaGodzilla, but the "ballers" chickened out. That doesn't sound like a winner to me.
And if I can give a serious, credible sounding answer to THAT...well, quite frankly, I should be President.
3. Who is your number 1 fan?
I'm still not sure I have "fans", but, uh...lets see...all the various moderators here at WC MUST be fans of mine, or else I would've been banned long, long ago. Notable WC names such as Erik Majorwitz, Jed Shaffer and Cactus Matt are all associates of mine. I've mingled (god I hate that word....mingled....sounds like something naughty you do in your pants) with such....beloved faces as Josh Woodrum and starwang (I believe I coined that name, as well.) But, Fabulous Swiss Franc actually hangs out with me. So the rest of you have some catching up to do. We're going to a hockey game in a couple of months so she can laugh at me while I cry like a little girl as the Atlanta Thrashers get even worse. Which no one thought was scientifically possible.
4. Any words of wisdom?
Sure. My favorite, most inspiring quote of all time, as spoken by the 20th century philosopher, Al Bundy, when a big fat stinkin' old lady calls him a loser:
"So you think I'm a loser? Just because I have a stinking job that I hate, a family that doesn't respect me, a whole city that curses the day I was born? Well, that may mean loser to you, but let me tell you something. Every morning when I wake up, I know it's not going to get any better until I go back to sleep again. So I get up, have my watered down Tang and still-frozen Pop Tart, get in my car with no upholstery, no gas and six more payments to fight traffic just for the privilege of putting cheap shoes on the cloven hooves of people like you. I'll never play football like I thought I would, I'll never know the touch of a beautiful woman, and I'll never again know the joy of driving without a bag on my head. But I'm not a loser. 'Cause despite it all, me and every other guy who'll never be what he wanted to be, are still out there, being what we don't wanna be, forty hours a week, for life. And the fact that I haven't put a gun to my mouth, you pudding of a woman, makes me a winner!"
5. Can I have an autograph?
Sure here you go
That'll be $50. You know I'm worth it, that hack Virgil charges $20!
(And yes those are Godzilla posters in my living room. You guys WISH you were that friggin' awesome.)
6. What did you have for breakfast?
Half of a day-old donut and a Mountain Dew. Remember kids, I didn't get this body by eating "fit" and "healthy", and neither will you.
7. Would you mind posing for this photograph?
As long as I don't have to take my penis out, fine. I'm not making that mistake around here again.
8. Candy corn or Skittles?
Oh, god, Skittles, no contest. Candy corn is kind of gross, I always thought. But my dog, Goji, loves it. But he gets constipated when he eats it so we don't let him have it anymore.
9. Ever thought of having T-shirts printed?
Actually, yeah, but I don't think anyone would buy them. I've tried this before. I was tired of striking out with the ladies in high school, so I decided to start advertising. We had to make t-shirts for a project in graphic arts class, I modified the Nine Inch Nails logo to read Nine Inch Steve (my name, duh.). Even that didn't do me any good, though.
Later on I designed a Johnny Danger (my backyard/e-fed/indy name) thong on cafepress. I know of one girl that's worn one....and I had to buy it for her. But that's another story.
10. Any words to live by?
Isn't this the same question as number 4? You're as bad as a myspace survey. C'mon, ask me who I'm "crushin on" and who I've hugged last. I dare you.
Serious questions
1. Where do you want to be in 10 years?
Alive. That's my goal. I set the bar really low, so if I succeed, it's great, and if I fail....I'll be dead so I won't care. I dunno, my immediate future is always so crazy its hard to think about the future. I'm preparing to start a new job, all kinds of fun stuff. I'd like to beat Oblivion on 360 one day. No time soon, though, I'm enjoying it too much.
2. Favorite Monster?
Well, obviously Godzilla....but beyond him and his pals, I'll always have a soft spot for the classic Universal monsters....you know, Frankenstein, the Wolf Man, Dracula, as portrayed by Boris Karloff, Lon Chaney Jr, Bela Lugosi, etc. Me and my dad never had much in common and don't always get along, but I'll always treasure the memories of watching those movies with him as a kid.
3. What is your best moment?
Hmm. Well, there's two actually, and you've all probably heard these stories before, but, I don't care. I haven't accomplished anything since then in life, so, you'll hear them again. The first takes place in October of 2002. From 2001-2005, I went to about 7 or 8 WWE shows, and I always dressed in a home made Hulk Hogan costume just for fun. I always had a blast, it was fun getting the crowd going and just doing the whole Hogan routine, parents would have their kids get pictures with me which was just a tremendous honor for me. Anyway, this one night in particular, I was going to Smackdown but Hogan himself was appearing at a Wal Mart of all places in my hometown before Smackdown to sign copies of his book.
So of course I was there, and since it was RIGHT before SD, I had to go in my Hogan costume. There had to be a couple thousand people there, and Hogan was around an hour late...but he made the announcement that he was going to sign everyone's book no matter how long it took. Security was real lame, telling people you couldn't get pictures with him, can't touch him, etc. Well the cool thing is, Hogan doesn't really seem to care about that, he's shaking everyone's hands, holding babies, posing for pics, etc.
When I finally get up to meet him, his eyes go wide and he just starts laughing and telling me how cool my costume is and all this, and he actually calls me up on stage, and he's like "Alright, you look like Hulk Hogan, but, do you sound like him?" and he has me cut a promo for him in front of all these people, and we end it with a stereo "Whatcha gonna do when Hulkamania runs wild on you!". Then I went to shake his hand, and he hugged me instead. It was bigger than WM IV and the MegaPowers, brother. There were people in the crowd crying. (Ok maybe not)
The second was, of course, WrestleMania 20, when all of MSG got bored by the horrid Lesnar/Goldberg match and started cheering for me and doing a huge "Hogan" chant when I was posing in the crowd. Got the pop of the night when I ripped my shirt off, followed by an equally loud chant of "Put a shirt on." Honestly though, I got goosebumps, man. Getting cheered by Madison Square Garden at WrestleMania? How do you beat that? Oh yeah, and Lesnar and Goldberg both flipped me off after the match. That was nice too.
4. Moment you knew WrestleCrap was for you?
I think a buddy of mine first linked me to it years ago. I loved the site and all the pictures/clips of all the old stuff I remembered. I wasn't too active on the EZboards forum, where I went under the name Yetimania (based off of a hilarious Yeti fan site that I found that I assume doesn't exist anymore). The main site is great and funny and all, but its really the forums that keep me coming back, as 99% of you are well spoken, intelligent individuals that I enjoy speaking with, unlike the rest of the internet. Plus, at least a few of you seem to like me, so, you've got good taste.
5. How would you like to be remembered?
Honestly? I just want to be remembered, period. If I've ever made you laugh, that's awesome. If I made you smile, I did my job. If I've ever made you mad, well, thats great too. You're mad because you know I'm right, and you're just a simplistic humanoid. But thanks for thinking I was worth the time to be interviewed, and thanks to everyone who read it. Both of you.
As the interview ends Godz puts on a suit and proceeds to rampage Tokyo, crushing buildings and laughing maniacally whilst crushing the tiny people.
We saw ourselves out.
Thanks for joining me on another episode of The Cove. Tune in on Friday when our guest will be the one and only(Thank God) Chibi!
As always comments and suggestions are encouraged!
