Johnny B. Decent
Patti Mayonnaise
Had one once
Everybody's Favorite Arizonian.
Posts: 31,072 
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Post by Johnny B. Decent on Dec 21, 2011 10:23:14 GMT -5
WWCF Promo Thread #12. Continued from here |
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Post by "Handsome" Whitey Fats on Dec 21, 2011 13:04:34 GMT -5
The thing is, boy, is you can't beat me. I'll pin you, just like I do everybody else.
You are more athletic than me, but that will not matter, because I'm smarter than you are. You will f*** up, like we all do, and I will move in for the kill. Nobody has ever kicked out of the Phatsdriver, and you will not be the first.
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Post by Connor Mackenzie on Dec 21, 2011 14:11:40 GMT -5
The thing is, boy, is you can't beat me. I'll pin you, just like I do everybody else.
You are more athletic than me, but that will not matter, because I'm smarter than you are. You will f*** up, like we all do, and I will move in for the kill. Nobody has ever kicked out of the Phatsdriver, and you will not be the first. |
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Post by "Handsome" Whitey Fats on Dec 21, 2011 17:57:04 GMT -5
The thing is, boy, is you can't beat me. I'll pin you, just like I do everybody else.
You are more athletic than me, but that will not matter, because I'm smarter than you are. You will f*** up, like we all do, and I will move in for the kill. Nobody has ever kicked out of the Phatsdriver, and you will not be the first. |
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Fiddleford H. McGucket
El Dandy
My Mind's been gone for 30-odd years! Can't Break what's already broken!
Posts: 8,748
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Post by Fiddleford H. McGucket on Dec 21, 2011 21:49:40 GMT -5
*Demento is wandering through a residential area of parts unknown in his Hospital Gown, meandering really.....he notices a small group going door to door*
Ah....perhaps they could be of some assistance.
Pardon me Sirrah!
*A Gaunt caroler turns to answer, but a mezzo-soprano in the second row screams in horror*
Bother......they always do that.....oh well
*Demento breaks off from the carolers and knocks on the door of a nearby home. A Middle-Aged Man answers, he's wearing a robe and smoking a pipe......He looks every bit the "Ward Cleaver" type*
Good Evenin' yer grace, I'm just a lost caroler, may I step inside and maybe use your phone? It won't be but a moment
Why Sure Stranger!
*The Two enter the Home and close the door*
Say Have you ever seen "Funny Games"?
Nope, can't say as I have.....
Then this'll all seem new to you
*There's a "Thud" of a bowling trophy against a skull and a rapid shuffling, Demento re-emerges wearing "Ward's" robe and smoking his pipe*
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Gus Richlen Was Wrong
Patti Mayonnaise
Metal Maestro: Co-winner of the FAN Idol Throwdown!
Fun while it lasted
Posts: 38,465
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Post by Gus Richlen Was Wrong on Dec 25, 2011 1:10:04 GMT -5
*Medics are fighting with Richlen as he staggers around in a massive stupor and a foul mood.*
C'mon, Richlen, you need to get examined by a doctor right away!
*Richlen launches into a bizzare rant that is completely unintelligible.*
Mr. Richlen, you need to follow protocol!
*more ranting, during which he somewhat gets out the words "King Of WrestleCrap" and "Viva"*
Mr. Richlen, please-
SHAELIN!!!!
*Richlen surges forward, only for medics and security to tackle him and drag him off.*
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Fiddleford H. McGucket
El Dandy
My Mind's been gone for 30-odd years! Can't Break what's already broken!
Posts: 8,748
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Post by Fiddleford H. McGucket on Dec 25, 2011 1:40:37 GMT -5
*Demento Wakes up in his cell, once again shackled.....he's still in "Ward's" robe and puffing the pipe*
I just had the strangest dream......I dreamt that I was tossed through a table in front of Hundreds if thousands of fans all screaming for blood.
Orderly: Yeah....that was the PPV, you got knocked out and tey brought you back here.
So I'm not the champion? I didn't leave Ryan Blood a quivering mass of protoplasmc goo in the middle of the ring?
Orderly: Nope.......ruled it a "No Contest" on account-a you both going through that table and the both-a ya's not movin' for a good minute or so.
.....huh.....So I guess I better attempt to escape then in order to get my rematch
Orderly: It would seem so...this time would you mind not claiming to need an enema before you make the attempt.....that was NOT a nice surprise.
Gotta Keep you on yer toes Chumley.
Chumley: (Chuckles) Merry Christmas Doc.
Merry Christmas Chum.
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Post by "Handsome" Whitey Fats on Dec 25, 2011 7:52:44 GMT -5
You got heart, boy. I can respect that.
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The Punisher
Unicron
"They don't fear the law. They fear me..."
Posts: 3,082
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Post by The Punisher on Dec 25, 2011 16:30:50 GMT -5
*The Punisher is backstage after Christmassacre, arguing with a bunch of security guards*
Frank Castle: You let me at Michaels, I'm gonna smash that little punk's face in till he has to breathe through his ears.
Security guard: The match is over man, you can't touch him now!
FC: Who the hell are you to tell me I can't touch the guy, I was bombing insurgeants in Baghdad when you were sucking on your mother's teat, you little ass kisser.
Security guard: You sad old man, I'd smack your broken down old face in in ten seconds flat. We got a guy half crazed in the medical bay and another man we're still picking pieces of table out of his back. Just do everyone a favour Castle and get back to the retirement home.
*Castle smacks the security guard in the head and knocks him out.*
FC: Sad old man huh? Anyone else want a shot?
*The other guards back away*
FC: Didn't think so.
*Castle sees Michaels' car leave the arena*
FC: Next time pal, next time. We got unfinished business.
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Post by General Adam on Dec 25, 2011 18:25:45 GMT -5
WWCF Reporter: We are here live at the local hospital where I am told the General is getting serious medical attention. I am told by the doctors that he has suffered a massive head injury. Doctor Quack can you tell us about the General?
Quack: The General is now in ICU and is expected to be all right....but there is a slight problem.
WWCF Reporter: What's the problem doctor?
Quack: He believes that he is the 26th president of the United States Teddy Roosevelt.
*The General suddenly sets up from his hospital bed.*
BULLY!
WWCF Reporter: Whoa an amnesia angle.
Quack: Yeah those never work.
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Post by Mr. Socko's Brother on Dec 26, 2011 0:51:49 GMT -5
OOC: Hope it's okay that I'm giving you a cameo in here, General, as well as using your character. I don't think it'll be a problem, but I apologize if it is.
IC:
*Ryan Blood awakens in a hospital room*
BLOOD: Whuh--owwwshit.....did I get I4I'd again?
*Dr. Quack enters*
QUACK: Ah, Mr. Blood, I see that you're awake. I just got finished tending to one of your colleagues.
GENERAL: [from the hallway] A MAN WHO HAS NEVER GONE TO SCHOOL MAY STEAL FROM A FREIGHT CAR, BUT IF HE HAS A UNIVERSITY EDUCATION, HE MAY STEAL THE WHOLE RAILROAD!
BLOOD: My god, that sounded like Teddy Roosevelt! What year is this?!
QUACK: 2011 for another week or so.
BLOOD: Whew! Okay, yeah, it's all coming back now...I went off the stage with Demento and then everything went black. And now my head hurts like a motherf***er.
QUACK: [breezily] Oh you'll be fine.
BLOOD: Are you sure?
QUACK: Look, you're the Hardcore Champion. If I told you that continuing to wrestle these kinds of matches was suicidal on your part and that I strongly advised against it, would it make any difference?
BLOOD: No, I guess not, and I do kind of need to have a rematch with Demento to settle things once and for all. Besides, if worse comes to worst I know this cleric who can raise me from the dead. We grew up on the same street in my old neighbourhood, full of D&D type people, such as my evil wizard parents.
QUACK: This whole thing is really geeky, you know, and in my professional opinion your character was perfectly fine when his backstory was more realistic.
BLOOD: No offense Doc, but I'll wait until I hear that opinion from somebody not named "Quack" before I take it seriously.
*Blood abruptly falls asleep and begins snoring loudly. Dr. Quack shrugs helplessly and exits the room.*
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Post by General Adam on Dec 26, 2011 8:35:10 GMT -5
OOC: Hope it's okay that I'm giving you a cameo in here, General, as well as using your character. I don't think it'll be a problem, but I apologize if it is. IC: *Ryan Blood awakens in a hospital room* BLOOD: Whuh--owwws***.....did I get I4I'd again?*Dr. Quack enters* QUACK: Ah, Mr. Blood, I see that you're awake. I just got finished tending to one of your colleagues. GENERAL: [from the hallway] A MAN WHO HAS NEVER GONE TO SCHOOL MAY STEAL FROM A FREIGHT CAR, BUT IF HE HAS A UNIVERSITY EDUCATION, HE MAY STEAL THE WHOLE RAILROAD!BLOOD: My god, that sounded like Teddy Roosevelt! What year is this?!QUACK: 2011 for another week or so. BLOOD: Whew! Okay, yeah, it's all coming back now...I went off the stage with Demento and then everything went black. And now my head hurts like a motherf***er.QUACK: [breezily] Oh you'll be fine. BLOOD: Are you sure?QUACK: Look, you're the Hardcore Champion. If I told you that continuing to wrestle these kinds of matches was suicidal on your part and that I strongly advised against it, would it make any difference? BLOOD: No, I guess not, and I do kind of need to have a rematch with Demento to settle things once and for all. Besides, if worse comes to worst I know this cleric who can raise me from the dead. We grew up on the same street in my old neighbourhood, full of D&D type people, such as my evil wizard parents.QUACK: This whole thing is really geeky, you know, and in my professional opinion your character was perfectly fine when his backstory was more realistic. BLOOD: No offense Doc, but I'll wait until I hear that opinion from somebody not named "Quack" before I take it seriously.*Blood abruptly falls asleep and begins snoring loudly. Dr. Quack shrugs helplessly and exits the room.* OOC: It's all good. |
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Brainbustaaah!
Hank Scorpio
Best Damn Finishing Move Period
Posts: 5,600
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Post by Brainbustaaah! on Dec 26, 2011 12:18:33 GMT -5
WWCF Reporter: We are here live at the local hospital where I am told the General is getting serious medical attention. I am told by the doctors that he has suffered a massive head injury. Doctor Quack can you tell us about the General? Quack: The General is now in ICU and is expected to be all right....but there is a slight problem. WWCF Reporter: What's the problem doctor? Quack: He believes that he is the 26th president of the United States Teddy Roosevelt. *The General suddenly sets up from his hospital bed.* BULLY!WWCF Reporter: Whoa an amnesia angle. Quack: Yeah those never work. OOC: ...you magnificent bastard! I'm going to love this, I can tell. |
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The Punisher
Unicron
"They don't fear the law. They fear me..."
Posts: 3,082
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Post by The Punisher on Dec 26, 2011 13:56:15 GMT -5
WWCF Reporter: We are here live at the local hospital where I am told the General is getting serious medical attention. I am told by the doctors that he has suffered a massive head injury. Doctor Quack can you tell us about the General? Quack: The General is now in ICU and is expected to be all right....but there is a slight problem. WWCF Reporter: What's the problem doctor? Quack: He believes that he is the 26th president of the United States Teddy Roosevelt. *The General suddenly sets up from his hospital bed.* BULLY!WWCF Reporter: Whoa an amnesia angle. Quack: Yeah those never work.  |
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Post by General Adam on Dec 26, 2011 15:18:23 GMT -5
*The General is in his office. He now resembles Teddy Roosevelt.*
WWCF Reporter: I am here with...Teddy Roosevelt.
Bully!
WWCF: Mr. Roosevelt how does it fell to be back home?
By God did I live here? What is with all of this monkey paraphernalia?
WWCF Reporter: Umm...because you are a General of a army of monkey's?
General of the army? You must be joking boy. I am a colonel for the United Sates army! I've personally lead the Rough Riders up San Juan hill! Why would I lead an army of monkey's?
As a matter of fact I would hunt monkey's! Then I would have them stuffed and placed in my den along with my other trophies.
WWCF Reporter: Are you still going for the WWCF Heavyweight title?
Heavyweight title? I am a boxer my boy?
WWCF Reporter: No sir you are a wrestler.
Bully! I always wanted to try catch wrestling. Well whoever is this champion better look over his shoulders. Bully!
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Gus Richlen Was Wrong
Patti Mayonnaise
Metal Maestro: Co-winner of the FAN Idol Throwdown!
Fun while it lasted
Posts: 38,465
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Post by Gus Richlen Was Wrong on Dec 26, 2011 22:15:13 GMT -5
*Richlen is STILL fighting off medics....*
Viva, I'm only going to say this once:
*medic gets punched*
Either you're facing me-
*Badgerland Initiative to another*
At King Of Wrestlecrap-
*Carnosel to another*
Or you're putting me-
*Another Carnosel*
In the King Of Wrestlecrap tournament-
*Flapjacks another through a table*
And I tear through everybody-
*chokeslams another*
And MAKE you face me!
*tosses one medic into another*
Your choice.
*flapjacks a medic into two others and tears off*
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Fiddleford H. McGucket
El Dandy
My Mind's been gone for 30-odd years! Can't Break what's already broken!
Posts: 8,748
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Post by Fiddleford H. McGucket on Dec 26, 2011 22:36:18 GMT -5
Jeezum Crow......
My Opponent's in as bad a shape as I am.....and my Tag Partner thinks he's .......Roosevelt. Welp......I've got a few options here....I can either take after General and try to do something positive....like passing Social Security or a sweeping economic reform to get us out of the Depression Or.....Since we're going to be here anyway I challenge you Ryan Blood to a......
HOSPITAL HAVOC HARDCORE HULLABALOO!
Since we're both in the WWCF Medical Facility....and we have some unfinished business why don't we battle it out amongst the gurneys and bedpans? Everything in the hospital can be a weapon.....the emesis basins, the IV Poles.....the *Shudders visibly* scalpels.......I've gotten all goose-pimpley thinking about it.
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The Line
Patti Mayonnaise
Real Name: Bumkiss. Stanley Bumkiss.
Peanut Butter & JAAAAAMMMM!
Posts: 36,698
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Post by The Line on Dec 27, 2011 22:47:35 GMT -5
VIDEO PACKAGEThe scene opens up with a high, slowly sweeping crane shot over a busy, palm-tree lined Los Angeles street. It is mid-afternoon, and the warm California sun paints a stereotypical picture of Hollywood.
We fade into an expansive office with sparse, post-modern furniture. The walls that aren't filled with large bay windows are decorated with shelves lined with various trophies and awards, accolades, and photos with with various athletes, which the camera slowly pans across. Thin maroon drapes blow gently in the threshold of an open balcony door. Light peeking in from the windows bathes the room in warm light, illuminating particles of dust in the air. Centered between a row of windows is a glass desk. A chair sits behind the desk, it's back turned to the camera, it's occupant staring out the windows. A female voice crackles in over an intercom located on the desk.Female Voice: I have those files you requested, sir. The occupant of the chair spins around, revealing Duncan "D3" Donovan-Dunn, a tan man of somewhat diminutive stature. He responds to the voice over the intercom. D 3: Bring those in, would you, Valerie?. ( Now addressing the camera)Hey there, my name is Duncan Donovan-Dunn, celebrity sports agent. You might not recognize me, but many of clients are beamed into your living rooms on the daily, whether their domain be the hardwood, the gridiron, the football pitch, or any other arena of competition. One place I have failed to stake my claim is within the wrestling ring, and that will all change soon. Valerie, a young woman with black hair and somewhat-scandalous business attire and presumably the one on the other end of the prior intercom conversation, enters D3's office and hands him a stack of about 5 or 6 file folders. The camera does not catch a glimpse of her face. D3 thanks her and she leaves. Dunn continues to address the camera while glancing at the contents of the files.D 3: I am willing to guarantee success to anyone who is represented by us here at The D 3 Corporation while in the WWCF, whether you be new or established talent. Those who may doubt me need look no farther than my track record. I've brought MVPs to championship teams. I've brokered record-breaking deals. I've wined and dined with Presidents and royalty the world over. My name is Duncan Donovan-Dunn, and all I know is success. Just as he finishes his last statement, something in one of the files catches his undivided detention, and a smirk shoots across his face. He then uses the intercom. It buzzes when he initiates the conversation.D 3 over intercom)Valerie, tell Ignacio to warm up the G6, and check the weather is in Connecticut. We're going on a recruiting visit( The scene and audio begin to fade to black, but some of the rest of the conversation can still be heard) .Oh, and if you could wear that outfit I like...
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Post by General Adam on Dec 27, 2011 22:51:30 GMT -5
Jeezum Crow......
My Opponent's in as bad a shape as I am.....and my Tag Partner thinks he's .......Roosevelt. Welp......I've got a few options here....I can either take after General and try to do something positive....like passing Social Security or a sweeping economic reform to get us out of the Depression Or.....Since we're going to be here anyway I challenge you Ryan Blood to a......
HOSPITAL HAVOC HARDCORE HULLABALOO!
Since we're both in the WWCF Medical Facility....and we have some unfinished business why don't we battle it out amongst the gurneys and bedpans? Everything in the hospital can be a weapon.....the emesis basins, the IV Poles.....the *Shudders visibly* scalpels.......I've gotten all goose-pimpley thinking about it.
May I ask why are you in the nude? |
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Jazzman
King Koopa
Trombone Shorty > Your Favorite Musician
Posts: 11,231
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Post by Jazzman on Dec 27, 2011 23:39:34 GMT -5
*Camera shows the back of a throne*
You know, I see that the enrollment for the King of WrestleCrap tournament is now open and I'm going to tell you that I was the first name on the sheet. You see, so many of the guys going into this tournament are just looking on for the next way to get what they want. You have people running around like Teddy Roosevelt, guys demanding that they get in so that they can "rip through everyone in the tournament"
You know what I want? I want peace and sanity again. I want to be able to look at a booking sheet and see that I'm not someone's leftovers. You fans deserve a better brand of athlete and I deserve to get some more chances around here.
Rest assured I'm coming into this tournament in the best shape of my career and more focused that I've ever been before. This is my chance to take another step toward cementing my legacy as the best damn wrestler this company has ever seen and to make sure that 2012 is the year of Jazzman, even if the back of 2011 makes it seem like an impossible task.
*Bergman gets off the throne and walks to the door opening it, before yelling back to the camera*
Get ready WWCF, The King is coming for his place on the throne! Time to Storm The Castle!
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over intercom)Valerie, tell Ignacio to warm up the G6, and check the weather is in Connecticut. We're going on a recruiting visit(The scene and audio begin to fade to black, but some of the rest of the conversation can still be heard) .Oh, and if you could wear that outfit I like... 
