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Post by Deleted on Mar 7, 2011 20:12:22 GMT -5
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Post by Rorschach on Mar 7, 2011 21:54:05 GMT -5
I've got a couple of reviews to write up, but HISSS and THE REEF should be up later tonight.
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Post by DSR on Mar 8, 2011 0:22:11 GMT -5
Yay! A name I came up with wins! That means that I win!
*victory lap around the thread*
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Post by Rorschach on Mar 8, 2011 4:13:30 GMT -5
As promised, the first of a review double shot from yours truly inaugurating the new thread! Let's start with the (unfortunately) bad first, and then move on to the good, shall we? HISSS Directed by: Alan Smithee? (We'll get to that shortly) Starring: Mallika Sherawat, Irrfan Khan, Jeff Doucette and Divvya Dutta Damn it all...if there's one thing I hate with a PASSION it's Platinum Dunes. If there's another, it's Rob Zombie. If I get one other choice, it's GOT to be studio interference and meddling when they have no business doing so. It almost ALWAYS results in a bad film, and the former director of this movie, Jennifer Chambers Lynch is not to blame at all for HISSS ending up in that category. Lynch, the daughter of the "High King of What-The-F***" David Lynch, had a great idea and a plan for a twisted tale of a serpent-woman out for revenge on those who crossed her, intertwined with the plight of a couple who just wants to have a baby. See, HISSS is ostensibly the story of the legendary Hindi creature the nagin a half snake-half human with exceptional powers of fertility. In this film, a crazed, dying American comes to the jungles of India to capture the nagin and force it to use it's powers of life-giving to cure his terminal brain cancer. He succeeds in capturing the male nagin in the act of copulating with the female one. The female nagin escapes into the jungle, where she transforms in one of the most beautiful practical effects sequences I've seen since American Werewolf in London. Seriously, if you just check out this film for this sequence alone...you'll be impressed. Make-up did a HELL of a job on this film, and ought to be rewarded in some way for their amazing work. Not to mention that they have an absolute GODDESS to work with in Mallika Sherawat, whose womanly curves are something that could inspire poets to write sonnets and scupltors to line up just to carve her PERFECT ass out of granite. Did I mention that she has a GREAT ass? *ahem* *HRRRM* *cough COUGH* Anyway. Where was I? Oh yes, the nagin transforms into a beautiful woman and heads out on the trail of the man who stole her mate...whereupon she crosses paths with a few lowlifes and scumbags, and quickly shows us what she can do. Here is where I do believe that Jennifer Chambers Lynch lost control of her film, because the next seven or so minutes are filled NOT with that gorgeous creature FX we saw before, but with such subpar CGI that some fat, neck-bearded mook over at SyFy would probably spray Pepsi out his nose watching it. Yes, it's that bad. And stuff like that CONTINUES to be inserted at weird moments throughout the film, clearly showing a line between where Lynch wanted to go and where the studio wanted to take things. Which would have been better, I don't think we'll ever be able to say. All I know is that a LOOOOONG ass time ago (a year and a half, maybe two now?) I saw a trailer for Jennifer Lynch's HISSS and I was just stoked beyond belief to see that movie. THIS film however....the shots from the trailer are the same, but little else remains of Lynch's twisted love story, which seems to have been mated with themes from SAW and ANACONDA. The resulting hybrid is enough to make ANYONE want to take their names off of it, though I noticed in the cut that I watched, Lynch's name is still on there. Here's a quote from Jennifer herself (from an interview with the good eggs over at Dread Central) concerning her firing from HISSS: "Hisss was taken away from me in the edit. I have no idea what the film looks like. I came close to a directors’ cut, which Mallika, Venus and producers (Govind Menon and Vikram Singh) referred to as ‘European, languid and sensual’, all the things I thought were compliments. Apparently, that did not make them happy. I have no idea what is out there. Good or bad, I cannot take credit for it. Aside from shots and performances that I pray have not been butchered... They took the songs out; they wanted more horror... My name is all over it (the film). I can do nothing. But I want to come back [to India].”Sadly, a film I was desperately wanting to give a solid five star review to is no more; in it's place is something I can maybe give *** out of five for, and that's for each one of the amazing creature FX scenes that the studio didn't hack out of this. Poor Jennifer. Poor HISSS.
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Post by Young Game on Mar 8, 2011 4:24:23 GMT -5
I liked "Boxing Helena". I might just give this "HISSS" (Three S's!!!) a watching. Is it a movie that lends itself to repeated viewings?
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Post by Baixo Astral on Mar 8, 2011 5:34:02 GMT -5
Watching Michael Winner's The Sentinel right now - great schlock, and Chris Sarandon looks like a weirdo with that 'stache.
Woah... the bit with Beverly D'Angelo is messed the hell up.
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Post by Rorschach on Mar 8, 2011 6:50:11 GMT -5
I liked "Boxing Helena". I might just give this "HISSS" (Three S's!!!) a watching. Is it a movie that lends itself to repeated viewings? Not really. It's more along the lines of a SYFY flick that got saddled with an actual plot. I mean, once was enough for me, since I expected it to be WAY better than what it was. Maybe you'll like it though. But there IS a lot of nudity from Mallika Sherawat. And her Viper is scarier than Randy Orton's ANY day of the week. ;D
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Lick Ness Monster
Dennis Stamp
From the eerie, eerie depths of Lake Okabena
Posts: 4,874
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Post by Lick Ness Monster on Mar 8, 2011 10:31:31 GMT -5
Friskey already said it...but your presence in these threads will never be forgotten, 'Pool Man. New thread, three new HHOF inductions. Once again, thanks to everyone – past and present – who have contributed to this series of threads over the years and made it one of the ‘Crap mainstays. Truth be told, when I started the very first one in December of ’08, I didn’t anticipate it lasting a month, let alone 26. So keep it up!! This time around, it’s a very direct-to-video-tastic Hall of Fame ceremony, as two luminaries in that particular niche get their due – as well as some other guy that we’ve mentioned a few times in passing… Previous inductees: Alfred Hitchcock Clive Barker Sam Neill Stephen King Tony Todd Thomas Harris Takako Fuji Dario Argento Goblin (the band) Robert Englund Takashi Miike Lucio Fulci Joe Bob Briggs Brad Dourif John Carpenter Paul Naschy Fred Gwynne Tobin Bell Charles “Chas” Balun Dick Miller Dan O’Bannon Roger Corman William Castle Hideo Nakata Frank Darabont Joe Dante Christopher Lee INDUCTION #28 “The person who goes to the Troma movie knows that he or she may love the Troma movie or, he or she may hate the Troma movie; but the movie goer knows that he or she will never forget the Troma movie.” LLOYD KAUFMAN There is something to be said for a wild, offbeat independent movie studio that has somehow managed to stay in business for almost four decades. Either it’s extreme luck, extreme talent, extreme uniqueness…or some combination of the three. At any rate, Troma Entertainment is one of the most loved (and polarizing) studios in all of horrordom. The man who has served as its lynchpin since the inception of the idea is Lloyd Kaufman. Kaufman was educated at Yale University, where amazingly enough he majored in Chinese studies with plans on being a social worker. While at Yale, he met several classmates who introduced him to the fine art of cinema. Among his favorite directors is (who else) Roger Corman, the low-low budget film-making machine whose influence is felt in waves to this day. Soon enough, Kaufman had directed his first film – a black-and-white experimental piece entitled The Girl Who Returned – and promptly set about to burn the world of entertainment. In 1974, Kaufman and his business partner Michael Herz formed Troma Entertainment and began making and marketing offbeat action and comedy films. While the early Troma sex comedies did robust business, it wasn’t until reading an article in 1983 stating “horror is dead” that Kaufman and the studio found their calling. The Toxic Avenger, released in 1985, is a phenomenally popular cult film, a darkly funny superhero movie that inexplicably became a huge box office success (in proportion to its budget), spawned a franchise, and even became a Saturday morning children’s television show. Immediately following Toxie was Class of Nuke ‘Em High in 1986. This film also was a huge success and launched its own franchise. However, at this point, Troma’s popularity with the general public began to wane. Troma’s War in 1988 was a disappointment, as was the subsequent film in the release chronology, Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D.. Kaufman, in response, used the ‘90s as a time of transition for Troma, fully embracing the “cult” status that the studio enjoyed and becoming fully independent of any Hollywood sphere of influence. Today, Kaufman and Troma remain as lynchpins in the horror world, still acquiring and distributing independent films under the Troma label. And since this is a studio that has released films with titles such as Tromeo and Juliet and Poultrygeist, you’d be hard-pressed to find a horror studio that makes a more indelible impression on the viewer’s psyche. Keep on cranking ‘em out, Lloyd!
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Lick Ness Monster
Dennis Stamp
From the eerie, eerie depths of Lake Okabena
Posts: 4,874
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Post by Lick Ness Monster on Mar 8, 2011 10:33:20 GMT -5
INDUCTION #29 “No mercy. NO MERCY!!” CHARLES BAND Charles Band is truly one of the most prolific names in all of horror. He has served as a writer, producer, director, and studio head producing horror films in a steady stream since the mid-‘70s, created no less than three distinct horror studios, and lent his talents to the creation of one of the venerable modern horror film franchises in the Puppet Master series. For various reasons, Band isn’t held in quite the same high regard as many of his contemporaries, but those contemporaries aren’t members of the ‘Crap Horror Hall of Fame. In the long history of his career, the “Charles Band Features” period (his first production company) comprises a fairly forgettable filmography (with the possible exception of Laserblast, seen during one of the funnier episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000). Dissatisfied with both the films and the distributors’ handling of said films, Band created Empire Pictures in the early ‘80s. Much like Hammer Studios, Empire was a veritable factory during its prime, cranking out 12 theatrical and 12 direct-to-video films every year during its prime, including genuine classics such as Re-Animator and for-all-the-wrong-reasons masterpieces like the Troll and Ghoulies series, Rawhead Rex and Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama. Come on, people – how’s that for a resume? In the latter part of the ‘80s, Band formed the company that would grant him his biggest infamy – Full Moon Pictures. Its first film, released in 1989, was Puppet Master. While the world had already been inundated with “killer doll” movies in the wake of Child’s Play, the movie was able to carve out its own place in horror history for its downright cool and weapon-wielding murderous puppets, making a genuine horror icon out of “Blade,” its knife-loving semi-mascot. The Puppet Master series continues to this day, and under the Full Moon banner, two other doll-centric films Dollman and Demonic Toys were proudly released. Of course, Band is more than just a producer – he has taken his turn at the director’s chair for several feature films. Most notable is perhaps Prehysteria!, a family movie that was released under Band’s Moonbeam Entertainment label, as well as Trancers (which would later become a series under Full Moon) and Blood Dolls. While not held in quite the same regard as Lloyd Kaufman, there is little debate that Band has left an indelible mark on the horror genre, always ready to sate the hunger of rabid fans eager for new product with the “horror” name attached to it.
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Lick Ness Monster
Dennis Stamp
From the eerie, eerie depths of Lake Okabena
Posts: 4,874
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Post by Lick Ness Monster on Mar 8, 2011 10:34:20 GMT -5
INDUCTION #30 “The third channel, it's still on. Please, take off the third channel. The third channel, it's still running. Stop it, please, for God's sake, please stop it. There's no more time! Please stop it. Stop it now. Turn it off! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! STOP IT!” TOM ATKINS There are few character actors more beloved by horror fans than Tom Atkins. Throughout the ‘80s, he appeared in a veritable wave of horror classics, often in roles that are praised by fans of the genre to this day. Indeed, the Tom Atkins role is practically its own separate classification – he brings a distinct rugged quality to his roles, oftentimes playing a police officer on the trail of whatever big bad the movie is serving up. More importantly, the man is a huge fan of the genre. Born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Atkins became a horror fan at an early age after seeing the Howard Hawks classic The Thing from Another World. He attended Duquesne University to study acting, and made his feature film debut in 1968 playing – what else – a police officer in the Frank Sinatra vehicle The Detective. It wouldn’t be until 12 years later that he would begin the series of movies that gave him his underground fandom. In 1980, Atkins was cast by director John Carpenter in his supernatural thriller The Fog. Showing his versatility, his presence as a good, solid, likable hero in the film is the strong center that holds the movie together. During the course of making the movie, Atkins formed a strong friendship with Carpenter, who followed up The Fog with Escape from New York in 1981, also featuring Atkins in an aces supporting role. The following year, the Stephen King-George Romero anthology masterpiece Creepshow graced theaters, featuring the already more-than-familiar-to-horror-audiences guy with the moustache as the jerk father in the bookend segments. As usual, he made the most of his appearance and became one of the movie’s highlights. His next two horror roles would prove to perhaps be his most lasting. Feeling (according to this reporter, rightly) that the Michael Myers storyline had run its course, John Carpenter had decided to take the Halloween series in a different direction, forgoing the usual slasher model in favor of an “anthology” route, with a different Halloween-centric story taking center stage with subsequent films. Halloween III: Season of the Witch is a strange film, but an undeniably memorable one, focused on a strange cult attempting to murder the world’s children through the use of “Silver Shamrock” Halloween masks. Once again, Atkins’ versatility and charisma was apparent, this time in the lead role as flawed hero Dan Challis. In 1986, Night of the Creeps appeared. In recent years, Tom Atkins has described this movie as his own personal favorite horror film he has appeared in, and for good reason. At times both nostalgic and hilarious, the movie is a blast to watch. This time, Atkins showed up as – what else – a police officer, and a particularly memorable and goofy one at that. “The good news is your dates are here. The bad news is that they’re dead.” In recent years, Tom Atkins has enjoyed the fruits of his ‘80s labor, appearing in the horror hit My Bloody Valentine 3D and gaining a rumored role in the upcoming Halloween 3D. He is still a fixture at horror conventions and fan gatherings across the country, always more than willing to share stories of his horror-tastic past as well as simply shooting the breeze with horror fans. Which seems all the more natural, since that is what Tom Atkins is at heart. Finally...to respond to the review of Hisss, I remember reading some advance news on that back when I had a subscription to Fangoria. It sounded like an interesting movie at the time, especially considering that the extremely vanilla (IMO) Jennifer Lynch film Surveillance had just hit the scene. Too bad it got snorked up to high heaven by the powers-that-be.
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Post by Rorschach on Mar 8, 2011 16:08:08 GMT -5
GREAT inductions, TR! Loved the write up on Atkins especially, since he's one of my favorite genre actors. Oh and remember in the last thread, where you and I got off on that tangent about Michael Madsen? IT GETS WORSE. www.dreadcentral.com/news/43012/michael-madsen-and-rachel-hunter-hunt-piranhacondaWonder what the "I'm just here to pay my rent" levels are going to be for Madsen on this one? Will we be able to understand a word he says? Will he appear to be as burned out as pilot light on a stove from the 1960's? Only time....and Piranhaconda will tell.
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Post by Michael Coello on Mar 8, 2011 17:02:14 GMT -5
Some way or another, Cube is coming back.
From Shock Till You Drop:
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Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2011 17:11:50 GMT -5
That newspiece falls under the "Why didn't I think of that sooner?" category.
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Post by mysterydriver on Mar 8, 2011 18:19:58 GMT -5
With them "ending" Saw, it kind of makes sense they'd revive the "creative kills" movie that Cube was in it's most basic form.
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Post by DSR on Mar 8, 2011 22:53:54 GMT -5
Watching Michael Winner's The Sentinel right now - great schlock, and Chris Sarandon looks like a weirdo with that 'stache. Woah... the bit with Beverly D'Angelo is messed the hell up. I dig that movie. Burgess Meredith is always a treat! And, as usual, great job on those inductions, TR! I love Kaufman and Troma, love Atkins (and he's from Pittsburgh, just like me!...sorta), and Charles Band...yeah, I don't exactly love the guy, but I enjoy some stuff he's responsible for. He gets a thumbs up from me. ;D
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Post by YellowJacketY2J on Mar 8, 2011 23:22:57 GMT -5
Glad to see all three men go in to the Hall of Fame, especially Kaufman. It's thanks to Troma that I'm a lover of cheesy horror flicks.
Since this thread is dedicated to Deadpool, I too would like to say that his presence will deeply be missed. I still miss you, buddy!
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Chainsaw
T
A very BAD man.
It is what it is
Posts: 90,480
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Post by Chainsaw on Mar 8, 2011 23:30:28 GMT -5
INDUCTION #30 “The third channel, it's still on. Please, take off the third channel. The third channel, it's still running. Stop it, please, for God's sake, please stop it. There's no more time! Please stop it. Stop it now. Turn it off! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! STOP IT!” TOM ATKINS There are few character actors more beloved by horror fans than Tom Atkins. Throughout the ‘80s, he appeared in a veritable wave of horror classics, often in roles that are praised by fans of the genre to this day. Indeed, the Tom Atkins role is practically its own separate classification – he brings a distinct rugged quality to his roles, oftentimes playing a police officer on the trail of whatever big bad the movie is serving up. More importantly, the man is a huge fan of the genre. Born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Atkins became a horror fan at an early age after seeing the Howard Hawks classic The Thing from Another World. He attended Duquesne University to study acting, and made his feature film debut in 1968 playing – what else – a police officer in the Frank Sinatra vehicle The Detective. It wouldn’t be until 12 years later that he would begin the series of movies that gave him his underground fandom. In 1980, Atkins was cast by director John Carpenter in his supernatural thriller The Fog. Showing his versatility, his presence as a good, solid, likable hero in the film is the strong center that holds the movie together. During the course of making the movie, Atkins formed a strong friendship with Carpenter, who followed up The Fog with Escape from New York in 1981, also featuring Atkins in an aces supporting role. The following year, the Stephen King-George Romero anthology masterpiece Creepshow graced theaters, featuring the already more-than-familiar-to-horror-audiences guy with the moustache as the jerk father in the bookend segments. As usual, he made the most of his appearance and became one of the movie’s highlights. His next two horror roles would prove to perhaps be his most lasting. Feeling (according to this reporter, rightly) that the Michael Myers storyline had run its course, John Carpenter had decided to take the Halloween series in a different direction, forgoing the usual slasher model in favor of an “anthology” route, with a different Halloween-centric story taking center stage with subsequent films. Halloween III: Season of the Witch is a strange film, but an undeniably memorable one, focused on a strange cult attempting to murder the world’s children through the use of “Silver Shamrock” Halloween masks. Once again, Atkins’ versatility and charisma was apparent, this time in the lead role as flawed hero Dan Challis. In 1986, Night of the Creeps appeared. In recent years, Tom Atkins has described this movie as his own personal favorite horror film he has appeared in, and for good reason. At times both nostalgic and hilarious, the movie is a blast to watch. This time, Atkins showed up as – what else – a police officer, and a particularly memorable and goofy one at that. “The good news is your dates are here. The bad news is that they’re dead.” In recent years, Tom Atkins has enjoyed the fruits of his ‘80s labor, appearing in the horror hit My Bloody Valentine 3D and gaining a rumored role in the upcoming Halloween 3D. He is still a fixture at horror conventions and fan gatherings across the country, always more than willing to share stories of his horror-tastic past as well as simply shooting the breeze with horror fans. Which seems all the more natural, since that is what Tom Atkins is at heart. Finally...to respond to the review of Hisss, I remember reading some advance news on that back when I had a subscription to Fangoria. It sounded like an interesting movie at the time, especially considering that the extremely vanilla (IMO) Jennifer Lynch film Surveillance had just hit the scene. Too bad it got snorked up to high heaven by the powers-that-be. "Thrill Me." ;D Awesome inductions, Thomas, and no better one for #30 than the Man himself. Thanks!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2011 23:34:01 GMT -5
Forgot to throw out my props to the people inducted. One hell of a class, if you ask me.
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Post by GuyOfOwnage on Mar 9, 2011 3:14:57 GMT -5
Yay! A name I came up with wins! That means that I win! *victory lap around the thread* I'll get you next time, DSR...next time...
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Post by YellowJacketY2J on Mar 9, 2011 6:06:46 GMT -5
Speaking of 'Crap Horror Hall of Famers, I just watched "Death Machine" with Brad Dourif. Fun flick with some really good special effects. Brad does a tremendous job as the psychopathic nutjob who creates the Death Machine. Even when he overplays it, he somehow makes it work well. The man knows how to get into character and really make you hate someone. The rest of the cast does well, all playing their parts to a tee. John Sharian reminded me a bit of Dolph Ziggler, actually.
Also, I loved the fact that quite a few characters have names of prolific horror directors. John Carpenter and Sam Raimi are two names used, as well as Scott Ridley, which is a nod to a non-horror director.
Overall, "Death Machine" was a really fun flick! I'd give it a four out of five.
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