The Line
Patti Mayonnaise
Real Name: Bumkiss. Stanley Bumkiss.
Peanut Butter & JAAAAAMMMM!
Posts: 36,698
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Post by The Line on Apr 15, 2008 21:01:52 GMT -5
OOOH YEAHHHH!!
Matt Hardy's entrance music begins to play, and he walks out.
Ring Announcer: Making his way to the ring, from Cameron, North Carolina, weighing 225 pounds, Matt Hardy!
Matt gets into the ring and does his taunts to the crowd. His music fades out, and the lights go down and durn slightly blue. "Kashmir" by Led Zeppelin plays.
Ring Announcer: And his opponent, from Chewelah, Washington, weighing 215 pounds. Making his in-ring return to EWT, Andy Duke!
Andy Duke walks out from the back. He is more reserved, but at the same time, more intense, than usual. Gone is his old cockiness and bravado. He high-fives random fans on his way down to the ring. He enters, shakes hands with Matt Hardy, and this match is ready to begin.
Matt Hardy goes for a quick clothesline, but Andy Duke is able to counter it into a fujiwara armbar! Matt is able to get to the ropes, but Andy drags Matt back to the center of the ring! Matt has no choice but to tap out! That was a quick one!
Winner: Andy Duke
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Post by The Bad Man on Apr 16, 2008 7:17:04 GMT -5
(We return to ringside to find Lillian on announcing duty) LILLIAN: The following match is for one fall introducing first ... The drums kick in along with the sing/chanting of his jungle musicLILLIAN: He hails from the Ilse of Samoa, he is Umaga!! Out from the back walks the Samoan Bulldozer, as he heads to the ring he looks at the crowd with those savage eyesJOEY STYLES: Hello everyone, I'm Joey styles fresh from my run as ECW commentator. Alongsinde me tonight to call this match of gargantuan beasts is none other than ... RANDY SAVAGE: Oh Yeah!! Joey, Savage is in the house and this is going to be hectic!!! STYLES: It's certainly not going to be pretty as neither man is known ofr there finesse. Back in the ring and Umaga is pacing like a wild manLILLIAN: and his opponent, he hails from the the darkest corner of your mind ... and weighs in at over 500lbs ... he is ... The Bad Man The lights switch from the jungle green to a soul destroying borwn as ominous omen music begins to play. From the back out waddles The Bad Man his face still as pitted and as scarred as ever. He heads to the ring slowly his hulking form defying physiscs in it's ability to move, as the mounds of blubber shimmering in the orange glow of his entrance lights. He enters the ring and the two goliaths face off, the referee knowing he has got the short straw tonight, shakes his head shrugs his shoulders and calls for the bell.Umaga and The Bad Man step around each other slowly. All of a sudden Umaga raises his hands and screams his savage warcry. The Bad man unfazed by mere shouting pushes out his chest as if to say 'have a go if you think you can'. Umaga doesn't hesitate and lands a clubbing shot on the Bad man's bloated chest, he takes the shot and in return chops Umaga. More savage crys from Umaga can be heard as the two men exchange big shots to the chest area. Eventually after trading several The bad Man blocks a punch and smashes his head into Umaga's face! Umaga staggers slightly but seems to be fine. SAVAGE: Oh yeah the madness is starting! You don't headbutt a samoan, they just don't Dig It!!! Umaga grabs the Bad man and headbutts him back! The Bad Man pauses as he holds his head from the shot adn then turns back to Umaga with a sick rotten toothed grin on his face a slight trickle of blood on his forehead. JOEY: I don't think The Bad Man will be tooworried about headbutts either Randy. The two men decide to lock up and Umaga manages to gain a headlock and hurls Bad Man towards the rope, but the 500 pound weight is too much and instead umaga finds himself being whipped into the ropes. The Samaoan comes back and collides with The Bad man. Nobody Moves!!! Insert gorilla Monsoon saying about immovable objects and unstoppable forces right here! Umaga gives out a another cry and runs off the ropes again but fails to knock down or even stagger the Bad Man. The Bad Man laughs his sickly laugh and grabs a hold of Umaga and flings him into the ropes, The Bad Man then using the opposite ropes for momentum also begins to run. the two men head to each other like an Adams family train set. JOEY STYLES: Oh My God!!! Did you see that! The two men collided headfirst, both clearly looking for a running headbutt of some kind. The sheer force has sent Umaga to the canvas and The Bad Man staggering back into a seated position in the corner. Umaga shakes the cobwebs first and on seeing the bad man down in the corner roars and charges forward, he connects with his butt attack to the head. The Bad Man begins to get up as Umaga shouts for the Smaoan Spike! Umaga lashes out but The Bad Man blocks the arm and bites the Samoan's lethal thumb! Umaga tries to batter the bad Man off but isnt' having much luck and has evn less when The Bad Man let's go and clotheslines him over the top rope to the floor below. JOEY: A sign of things to come perhaps at the Rumble Randy? SAVGAE: Oh Yeah!!! That's 300 plus pounds of man he justs ent tumbling!! Back in the match on the outside and Umaga has got the upper hand by hurling The Bad Man into the ring steps. Umaga then goes for a slam, but the bad Man is too obscurely shaped and heavy for such a move and levels Umaga with an elbow to the head and then side to side suplec on the floor. The Bad Man has found some tv wiring and wrapsit around Umaga's neck, he begins to choke Umaga out ... in the ring the referee is making a ten count. 1 ...2 ... 3 ... 4 ... 5 ... The Bad man hurls Umaga back in to the ring the wire still around the Smaoan's neck. Th eBad Man enters via the steps and pulls out a hammer form one of his folds of fat. He grins like a child who found a box of matches, and then grabs the wire and pulls back on it making Umaga struggle ofr air, he then uses the hammer on the Samaon's skull!! JOEY: I don't think Umaga's head is that hard!! The Bad Man contorts the wire and continues hamemring as blood appears to gush ... Umaga in no position to escape such violence taps and then passes out. Bell RingsLILLIAN: Your Winner ... The Bad Man!! The Bad Man looks at his bloody pulp of a foe and then the hammer, apon which he licks off the blood much to the horror of the fans. He then leaves as his music plays, the sadistic bad man is ready to rumble, but who can stop him?(Cut to commercial)
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Post by xombiehiphop on Apr 17, 2008 19:28:54 GMT -5
Announcer: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall..currently in the ring, from Anaheim California..Kaz!"
Kaz climbs to the middle rope and tosses his fists upwards to a modest pop..
Announcer: "..And his opponent..weighing 235 pounds..representing The Platinum Association..Ghost Face!"
"You Lied" by Peach begins to play as Ghost Face makes his entrance, looking somewhat different from the norm. He is clad entirely in white. A white suit jacket, sleek white pants and a pair of white boots. Despite the pure look, his eye contacts reveal an unhinged darkness within them. Pulling his dreadlocks away from his face as he steps into the ring..
Joey Styles: "Well, hygienically speaking, Ghost Face appears to be a new man. Apparently deciding to confront his opponent, Kaz, head on, instead of a sneak attack. Perhaps Kaz has lived his life to the fullest, so to speak?"
Paul Heyman: "Oh, I'm sure Kaz has plenty of skeletons in his closet. But Ghost Face probably has more pressing matters to focus upon, namely the Royal Pain In The Ass Rumble!"
Ghost Face requests a microphone and steps into the middle of the ring, waiting for the crowd's booing to die down before speaking
Ghost Face: "..The Royal Pain In The Ass Rumble is infested with so many poisoned devils that cleansing them all would take a herculean effort. So many wasted opportunities, so many wasted lives..
..Take for example..Andy Duke..so glad to see that you've overcome and cast your demons out.."
Placing a hand over his heart in a mock display of sympathy. Voice soon lowering to a hiss..
Ghost Face: "..You don't know the meaning of the word "addiction". Pick up a real habit, amateur. I've seen you in the back..giving your little seminars..so high and mighty, aren't we? I can't imagine how painful it's going to be when your tugged off your lofty cloud and brought crashing back to reality like the rest of us. No one thinks your brave..they just pity you. Your halo is going to slip down to choke you.."
Heyman:"Hey, Ghost Face beat an addiction to so why isn't anyone coming to him for advice?"
Styles: "..Because he's a nut? And "beating his addiction" is up for debate.."
Ghost Face: "..And there are others still..like Spaz and Trik Turner..who get by with only name recognition. They show to collect a paycheck and nothing more. And this is allowed merely because our "illustrious" owner allows these hasbeens to drift in and out as they see fit.."
The crowd boo's at Ghost Face's diatribe, as he begins to pace..
Ghost Face: "..Not a single one of them is worthy to take the belt away from Mr.Confidence. He is a bellwether! None of have the passion and vision or the divine afflatus to lead this company in the proper direction! ..There's little escape from your black hole of abulia..but I'll show you the way..I am a reanimator, I will breathe new life into your hollow, useless, unworthy car--"
Kaz has heard enough as he rockets out of his corner with right hands, causing Ghost Face to drop his microphone..which the crowd reacts favorably to. Kaz whips Ghost Face into the ropes and goes for his signature flying kick, but Ghost Face is able to duck. Kaz lands on one knee and ends up taking a Knee Lift right to the face which smacks into his jaw and stuns him. A Step-Up Enzuguri sends Kaz face first into the mat.
Ghost Face crouches a bit and awaits for Kaz to arise before booting him in the gut and almost instantly dropping him with an Even-Flow DDT. It's not over for Kaz as he is quickly locked into a Guillotine Choke, completely the Death Trap. Ghost Face pulls backwards and Kaz taps out, but Ghost Face won't release until Kaz slips into unconsciousness. Finally releasing the hold, he rises and allows the referee to raise his hand in victory while his theme plays once again..
Announcer: "Here is your winner...Ghost Face!"
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Post by Koda, Master Crunchyroller on Apr 17, 2008 20:38:45 GMT -5
We fade in to the back with Joe Bher just walking into his locker room. Joe stops in his tracks. Joe: "Uh...Koda? Who the hell is that?" Koda looks up at Joe and then turns to where he is pointing. Koda: "Oh, this is just Tara...I mean Shinobi Misa. She's my girlfriend." Joe: "Uh-buh?!" Misa: "Don't worry Joe, I won't bite. Koda's told me all about you." Joe: "Whoa...she can speak our language? Dub-tee-eff mang?! Where did you find her at?" Koda: "I met her at an anime convention. We ran into each other doing a cosplay dating game that she set up and then at another convention, we met up at several photoshoots, danced around a bit, and talked for quite a while. Then I asked her to be my girlfriend, and she said yes." Joe: "Dude....don't you know she doesn't exist? Hot, sexy women who are into video games and anime are a figment of our imaginations! Just watch this!" Joe blesses his water bottle, open it up and splashes a decent amount of the water onto Misa's chest. Joe: "Just hold on....give it a minute. Any second now she should burst into unholy flames. Any second now...." Koda, Joe, and Misa all look down at Misa's white shirt, which is so soaked that it reveals her bra as clear as day. Joe: "Um....whoa.....nice tits." Misa kicks Joe in the crotch and then takes her guitar and smashes Joe Bher out of the room and through the ceiling until he is a twinkle on the horizon. Koda: "Nice shot. Wonder how long it will take him to get back here?" Misa: "Thanks. It usually takes Team Rocket anywhere between 5 minutes and another episode altogether for them to come back. It kind of depends on how important they are for the rest of the episode." Koda: "Oh...then we won't be seeing Joe for a long time then, will we?" Misa: "I'm afraid not." Koda: "That's good. Have I told you how much I love you?" Misa: "Every second of every day." Koda: "Well, I gotta go take care of Santino. I'll be back in a few minutes." Misa: "Oh, ok. I'll be waiting." Koda leaves the locker room as Misa looks on from the doorway. Fade to commercial.
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Post by Gigantor Maximus on Apr 18, 2008 17:34:08 GMT -5
* "China White" by The Scorpions begins playing & the Toomitron goes black as white letters followed by black & white images flash across it...* Poe Moe Foe... You have made the most grievous error of your life... You chose to assault the largest man in EWT... You have awoken a sleeping giant... Now you will face the wrath of ... GIGANTOR MAXIMUS!!!
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TJT
AC Slater
It's fun to be perfect.
Posts: 109
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Post by TJT on Apr 18, 2008 19:54:55 GMT -5
*The scene: a dark room. Shelves line the walls, chairs and sofas tipped over, with empty bottles of alcohol sparsely covering the rich, dark carpet with stains dotting the vicinity. The outlines of a few figures, shadowed by the darkness are visible.*
*Suddenly, the room becomes flushed with a bright light, a tan woman with long brown hair and large green eyes stepping into view, her hands on her hips. Wearing a white tank top and constricting blue jeans, she whips her hair back in a familiar fashion and takes a deep breath…*
“GUYS! GET UP!”
*Presumably recovering from a hangover, the scruffy-looking Jason Jupiter jumps to his feet, holding onto his head as he winces.*
Jupiter: WHAT THE f***?!
Terina: You passed out in the library!
Jupiter: Wha? Ow…my head….ow…what the f*** did I drink?
Terina: If I told you, you’d probably puke again. Like you did on me…
Jupiter: Uh.
Terina: “Uh” what? I had to take a shower at two in the morning during a party in my house. Do you know how hard that is, especially with drunk guys wandering all around the place?
Jupiter: Ow…quiet down…
Thunder: WHAAAAT?
…
AH f***! MY HEAD!
*Jimmy Thunder looks hardly any better; if it weren’t for his well-groomed person, he’d look as equally wasted as his tag team partner, and fellow tag champion.*
Jupiter: Get up, ya big dumb Greek Italian…what the f***…Greek Italian…
Thunder: My parents love each other, so what? It’s not like my mom is a cow or something!
Jupiter: Oh…I don’t know about that…
Thunder: Cheap shot! OW! MY HEAD! AGAIN!
Jupiter: Ugh…How do you do it Kate?
Terina: Do what?
Jupiter: How can you always drink tequila like a camel and never get a hangover…or never go to bed with some random pig after ingesting it?
Terina: You can thank Hal for that one. He watches me. And he gives me pills.
Jupiter: What? Why doesn’t he ever do that for me?
Terina: Probably because you keep calling him gay all the time and act like some crazy homophobe.
Jupiter: I don’t mind gay people…
Terina: He’s not gay though. At least I don’t think he is.
Jupiter: It’s just how weird he looks. If some dude like Jim acted like that, I’d totally have no problem with it.
*Jimmy Thunder places a hand on Jason’s right shoulder and leans over, his face right in that of his partner.*
Thunder: *in stereotypical gay lisp* …I jizzed in your glass.
Jupiter: *eyes bug out*
Thunder: *voice back to normal* Oh how wrong you are, Jason REGINALD Hereford!
Jupiter: *wince* Who are you laughing at, James ENZO Thunder?
Thunder: My middle name kicks ass, bro.
Jupiter: Damn. He’s right, Kate…
Terina: You sure are, Jim! Anyway, you two need to wash up! Clean yourselves up…I should probably do the same. But I’m not in bad shape! Grab the tag belts from my sister…I think she built a shrine of you with yours, Jason.
Jupiter: Oh God…
Terina: And you two have a title defense! Quick! Before you’re late! Oh yeah, and I have to face Gail Kim.
Thunder: I wonder if her boobs will spontaneously combust again…
*Fade out.*
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Post by liontamer12 on Apr 18, 2008 21:59:04 GMT -5
Camera opens to the EWT Arena. DH Smith is already in the ring and the tail end of his theme song fades away into the quiet rumble of the crowd.
JR: Alright folks, up next we have the young athlete DH Smith facing off against Guardinals member John Valentine.
King: Right JR. I think Valentine's got nothing. Two losses in a row? The lion looks more like a pussycat to me.
"I'm the King of My World" By Saliva plays from the giant speakers surrounding the arena and Valentine emerges from the curtain. Veronica de Marco follows in her jet black dress and both are met with a modest pop.
Howard Finkel: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall! On his way to the ring from Oak Harbor, Washington weighing in at 225 pounds, being accompanied by Veronica de Marco, JOHN "THE LION" VALENTINE! Already in the ring from Calgary, Alberta, Canada weighing in at 251 pounds, DH SMITH!
Valentine slides into the ring and referee Tim White wastes no time calling for the bell.
DING, DING, DING!
JR: We are officially underway. Let's see what develops here between these two relative youngsters to the game.
Both men lock up colliding like two bulls. Control is traded back and forth in the tense struggle until Valentine finally pushes Smith to the turnbuckle. He lets go of the tie-up and delivers a earth shattering chop across the chest of DH Smith. Without missing a beat, Smith throws Valentine into the corner and delivers a few chops of his own.
King: Wow, did you see him turn the tables like that?!
Referee White intervenes the beating and pushes Smith back. Smith obliges and both men are able to return to neutral ground. They circle each other for a few moments until Valentine, in a burst of energy, deeply armdrags Smith across the ring. In the same way, Smith returns the favor by armdragging Valentine to the other side of the ring. They exchange armdrags a few more times. Each time the maneuver is deeper and more devastating.
JR: Just look at the technical prowess of both of these men!
Both competitors, panting, begin bouncing off the ropes in a theatrical fashion. Like orchestrated highway traffic, they pass each other. Finally DH Smith catches Valentine and uses the immense momentum to deliver the most painful Powerslam the world hath ever seeneth. BOOM! Valentine crashes to the mat and Smith makes the cover.
1!
2!
3!
Referee Tim White calls for the bell
DING, DING, DING!
Howard Finkel: Ladies and gentlemen your winner, DH SMITH!
JR: Wow....that came out of nowhere...
Fade out.
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Post by blackwizardcoby on Apr 20, 2008 1:10:12 GMT -5
The Toomitron cuts to a camera outside the local hospital. Poe Moe Foe is walking out, a bandage wrapped around his head like a headband.
"So, Gigantor Maximus, you want to go toe-to-toe, mano-a-mano with the most vicious mother f***** around, Poe Moe Foe? Did you not see the beating I gave the EWT OX Division champion? Now look where he is. They might as well have sent him to the morgue, cause he's dead. Sure, he almost took me with him with that DDT, but that was luck and I've recovered. I'm still on my feet, still conscious! Where's the champion been the past week?" He points to the hospital.
"If you're a glutton for punishment and want a sequel to the ass-kicking I gave Hensley, I'll be more than happy to assist you with that. Hell, you could have dispensed with the video and just met me in the hospital. At least then, you would have had the chance of pinning me while I was unconscious...because Poe Moe Foe won't be on his back for more than a two count when he's in the ring with you!"
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The Line
Patti Mayonnaise
Real Name: Bumkiss. Stanley Bumkiss.
Peanut Butter & JAAAAAMMMM!
Posts: 36,698
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Post by The Line on Apr 20, 2008 15:58:43 GMT -5
Sum Guy and Andy Duke are backstage, ready for an interview
Sum: Andy, The Royal Pain in the Ass Rumble is just one week away. Give us your thoughts, your gameplan.
Duke: It appears that I have come full circle. You see, my EWT PPV debut was at Symphony of Destruction in November of 2006, in a battle royal. My goal there was just to survive. I ended up making it to the final four, and impressed many in the process. The difference 17 months later is I'm not here just to survice, I'm in it to win it! And if I win, then I shall be reborn. My progress, my sobriety, will not have been in vein. But if I fail...I am going to have to take a long look at myself in the mirror and see if it was all worth it. If its even worth it to continue onward.
Andy walks away.
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Post by hardcorehensley on Apr 20, 2008 21:27:24 GMT -5
youtube.com/watch?v=jJxVUIwVFDkBlack Sabbath's After All (The Dead) plays as Poe Moe Foe makes his way to the ring. A blood-soaked bandage is wrapped around his forehead like a headband. He grabs a microphone from a terrified ring announcer and enters the ring."Last week, Hardcore Hensley, I took your sorry a** out! You've been claiming you were a fighting champion and that you'd defend your belt anytime, anywhere. I thought I'd put that claim to the f****** test! You said you were a fighting champion but last week, you didn't do much fighting. No, instead of a fighting champion you were a f****** punching bag!" "I'll give you credit for this, though," he points to his bandaged forehead. "You caught me off-guard with a lucky, second-wind attack. I was put headfirst through a car by your b**** a**!" He takes a moment to undo the bandage before palming his forehead. Blood begins to trickle out of the still-fresh wound."Look at this! The slightest touch and I'm bleeding...but I'm still walking! That's something I can't say the same for you, Hensley. I refuse to call you 'Hardcore' because I don't see you in this in ring, I don't see you in the crowd, and I d*** sure didn't see you backstage. No, you're still sucking on your momma's nipple in the hospital!" A video on the ToomiTron interrupts him. Hardcore Hensley appears, laying in a hospital bed, with his devilish smirk intact.Hensley: Well, well, look who it is. Ladies and gentlemen, from a poor, piece of s*** hometown that nobody gives a damn about, he weighed in this morning as a fat ass...POOR MOTHER F***ER!!! He chuckles to himself as Foe glares silently at the screen.Hensley: Ooh, now listen here, buddy. Last week you came out here to whip up on me. You thought it was gonna be a few punches, maybe a couple of chair shots here and there then you'd be walking away with your first taste of EWT gold. Needless to say, UH UN! Sure, you beat me up all over this damn place, but did I quit? Did I cry out for mercy? Uncle? F*** NO! I ate your s*** again and again. You thought you were gonna put HARDCORE Hensley through a car? S***, you must've been high! The crowd starts to get behind him while Foe's glare has turned into something else.Hensley: Hey, I didn't win, I wasn't the victor, but neither was you! You got me at my worst moment. I had just flew around that ring with AJ Styles! You hit me with everything you had! All you had to do was cap it off with something BIG. Yet, in one move, your plan failed. I, the dastardly man that I am, crushed all your little hopes and dreams. I broke your little heart! He gets serious as Foe's face is now blank, unaware of where his rival's going with all this.Hensley: I realized something about you. When you first showed up here, I gotta admit, you scared the life out of me. Getting sliced up with a weed whacker didn't really do much for me, but last week I realized something. There's noway you could even touch me on my best day. You had me setup perfectly, and you STILL couldn't finish me! I mean, I can't believe I was afraid of you to begin with! You're out here saying I'm not hardcore enough? Well mother f***er what does that make you?! He cracks up, the fans joining in with him as Foe's face is all red, seemingly ready to explode. He opens up, screaming at the top of his lungs towards the video. All of a sudden, Hensley is shown hopping over the barricade in between the two announcer's tables. He slides in, and smears Foe! He mounts him then lays waste to his enemy with violent rights. Foe tries to cover up, but Hensley's having none of it. He manages to roll them both out of the ring, but Hensley stays on the attack. He pounds away as security files out to the rescue. Hensley's shots to the forehead sends Foe's blood gushing out onto the floor. The men in black are barely able to pry Hensley away from Foe. The majority push the champ backwards while a squad of medics come down for Foe. Hensley laughs obnoxiously, and the fans have exploded. The Hardcore One fends off them all, and climbs up onto the guardrail. He waves his hands, motioning the fans to get even louder. Hensley smiles as they comply then turns back to Foe. Nearly twenty men separate the two, but that's not enough. Hensley leaps off, soaring over them all. He crashes down onto a few, and that begins a domino effect. He finally gets his hands on Foe, and goes back to where he started. More men rush out. A production man's voice comes across saying something along the lines of to the cut the feed. We fade out to commercials, last seeing Hensley, foaming from the mouth as he lunges out for Foe, who's an absolute bloody mess.
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Apr 21, 2008 1:53:19 GMT -5
Spaz is sitting backstage, he is staring into the camera blanky.
S: Trik, you keep interfering in my business. You think this will persuade me to listen to what you have to say? I have faced all the great wrestlers to come into EWT & beaten them all. You are barely a blip on my radar. When next Sunday comes around & I see you in that Rumble, I will throw your ass out before you can blink! Then I will throw anyone else out who stands in the way of me regaining the World Heavyweight Title. For those who have forgotten I am the best technical wrestler alive today! I will not stop until I have that world title around my waist. Respect, Loyalty, Ability.
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Post by SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman on Apr 21, 2008 5:00:49 GMT -5
Announcer: LADIIIIIIES AAAAAAND GENTLEMEEEEEEN…. The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first… * Christian Cage’s theme song starts as a mix of boos and cheers erupt from the crowd.* Announcer: Hailing from Tampa, Florida and weighing in at 227lbs and representing TNA Wrestling, the Instant Classic CHRISTIAAAAAAN CAAAAAAAAGE!! *Cage climbs into the ring then on a turnbuckle, doing his signature pose. If being back in a 4 sided ring moves him, he doesn’t show it as he looks very confident, and even rather cocky. He gets to a corner of the ring and waits for Mysth to arrive.* Announcer: And his opponent for tonight’s match… * Otherworld by Bill Muir blasts through the speakers as four fireworks explode on the stage and the crowd heavily cheers.* Announcer: Hailing from Strasbourg, France and weighing in at 219 lbs, he is EWT’s Best Kept Secret, the Darkness in the Light, THIS… IIIIIS MYYYYYYYSTH!! *The fans cheer as Mysth appears and makes his way to the ring while high fiving crowd members. He reaches the ring and clutches the ropes with his arms while facing the crowd and four new fireworks explode, one at each corner of the ring. Mysth then enters the ring and faces Christian Cage.* DING DING! *The match starts and both men immediately lock up, but none of them manages to get an advantage, so they break it then try a second one, which doesn’t get a better result, and they break the lock up again. They stare at each other for a few seconds, trying to find the right time to attack, when Cage raises his arm for a test of strength. Mysth accepts it and clutches Cage’s hand and raises his free one, but just before Mysth can clutch the second hand, Cage kicks him in the gut then chops Mysth’s chest before Irish whipping the Frenchman into a turnbuckle. Cage charges at Mysth, who gets out of the way and shoves Cage shoulder first into the turnbuckle! Mysth capitalizes and hits Cage in the back with a Dropkick. Cage slowly turns around, only to get hit right in the face with a Springboard Dropkick! Cage falls down, but Mysth picks him up and slams his head into the turnbuckle. The referee warns Mysth not to do that kind of moves anymore, and with Mysth turned around to listen to the ref, Cage has time to quickly grab Mysth from behind for an Inverted DDT! Cage grabs Mysth by the hair and drags him up, before striking him with a knee to the gut, followed by a Suplex! Christian Cage then climbs the nearest turnbuckle. After doing a little taunt he plunges and strikes Mysth with an Elbow Drop… but Mysth raised his legs! Cage falls on Mysth’s knees then crashes on the mat. Mysth goes for the cover!* ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! *Both men get up, but Cage is faster and strikes Mysth with a stiff kick to the mouth which sends Mysth back to a sited position, nursing his mouth. Cage grabs Mysth’s hair once again, but the Frenchman punches his way out and gets back up. Mysth Irish whips Christian Cage and waits for him to bounce, ready for a Hurracanrana, but Cage manages to use the momentum and strike Mysth with a Dropkick right in the face, which sends Mysth falling into the ropes! Cages positions Mysth to rest on the first rope, facing the ground, clutches the top rope and presses on Mysth with his feet! The referee starts counting.* ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! *At the count of 4, Cage stops to avoid getting eliminated, but restarts immediately! The referee counts again!* ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! *Again, Cage stops. This time, he picks Mysth up and whips him to a turnbuckle. Mysth crashes against it face first! Cage then grabs Mysth’s head and rakes it against the top rope… but Cage apparently forgot that Mysth wears a mask, and he didn’t feel anything! Mysth turns around to face Cage and looks PISSED! He charges and takes Cage down with a Clothesline! When Cage gets up, Mysth strikes him with an Enzuigiri! He waits fr Cage to make it back to a kneeled position and runs to the ropes, bounces and hits a Shining Wizard! Mysth then drags Cage by the leg to the middle of the ring, and locks in a Sharpshooter! Cage tries to get closer to the ropes, but Mysth drags him back in the middle of the ring! Cage once again fights the ain and tries to crawl to the ropes, but Mysth still has the hold locked in! But he seems to show signs of weakness. He looks exhausted and Cage manages to find an opening and quickly slips out of the manoeuvre! But as soon as Cage is up, Mysth turns around and strongly clutches Cage’s throat! He’s ready for the MYSTHERIOUS WAYS! But Cage pokes Mysth’s eyes and performs THE UNPRETTIER!! He goes for the cover as the crowd boos heavily! ONE… TWO… TH-KICKOUT!! *The crowd now cheers at Mysth’s display of stamina! Cage can’t believe he didn’t get the fall and goes tantrum! He starts arguing with the referee, claiming he got the three count. This prevents him from noticing Mysth sneaking from behind and grabbing him for a German Suplex! Mysth picks up Christian Cage, who manages to grab Mysth’s arm and Irish whip the Frenchman, who reverses and whips Cage to a turnbuckle! Mysth quickly gets to the corner where Cage landed and slams him to the mat thanks to a devastating Superplex! Mysth slowly gets up, fighting the fatigue. He climbs to the top rope and crushes Cage with a Moonsault! But he doesn’t pin him right now. He wants to make sure Cage won’t be able to resist. So he points at the crowd and signals for the end which gets him a huge pop! He pulls Cage by the hair, Irish whips him then runs to the ropes at the other side of the ring. They both bounce and as they meet in the center of the ring, Mysth clutches Cage’s throat and hits the MYSTHYCAL CHOKESLAM!! And he covers!!* ONE… TWO… THREE!! Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen here is your winner… MYYYYYSTH!! *”Otherworld” hits again as Mysth climbs a turnbuckle and spreads his arms while bringing his chest out for the crowd. However, his celebration is quickly interrupted by “ Killamangiro” and “Rebellious” Derren Matthews’ appearance at the end of the ramp. Matthews is holding a microphone and makes his way to the ring, paying no attention to the boos the crowd throw at him for his recent actions against the Darkness in the Light. He enters the ring then starts speaking as Mysth looks at him, obviously upset.* Matthews: Well well well, that was a pretty impressive victory here, mate! But I’m not here to tell you about your wrestling skills, which aren’t actually that impressive anyway. *The crowd boos even more heavily.* Matthews: No, I’m here to give you the answer to the question you’re probably wondering for a couple of weeks now: why did I attack you? TWICE. Well the answer is actually very simple. You see normally I would say I do what I want, whenever I want however I want but I didn't really live up to my motto I did it for money. The root of all evil people say money is. But I live from the ideology of Scarface, first you get the money then you get the power then you get the women. And I like women, especially yours. *More boos, as Mysth now looks very angry, judging from the few exposed parts of his face.* Matthews: Now Mysth, let me introduce the man who hired me to take care of you…Sigma! *” Princes of Universe” hits and indeed, Sigma appears at the end of the ramp, proudly carrying the Toolshed belt around his waist. He gets inside the ring, not paying more attention to the boos than Matthews did. Matthews hands him the microphone he was holding. Mysth also asks for a microphone as he feels they have a lt of things to tell each other.* Sigma: Mysth, a couple of days ago, you had the impertinence to make me look like a fool in front of the international cameras. ME, an EWT champion! So I figured I should teach you some respect for the gold, that’s why I hired Derren to take care of you and take you away from the picture. Mysth: Wait a second… are you saying you hired someone to get rid of me… because I beat you in a match?? Well Sigma, you seem to have forgotten it but I beat you fair and square. I entered in the ring, I showed I was the better wrestler, I pinned you and that’s it. We got booked against each other, we fought, I won. The whole wrestling thing, you know. Sigma: I see… You know Mysth; you really need to learn some humility, especially when you’re talking to someone who has achieved more than you. Do you see THIS? *he points at the belt* It shows that I am better than you, and it’s not a little punk arriving from the old continent who’s gonna come and disrespect this belt. Mysth: Honestly Sigma, between me, the little punk from his old continent and you, the big cry-baby who can’t get over a loss against a superior athlete and needs to hire someone else to do his dirty work, I don’t think I’m the one who disrespects the belts. At least, when I need to do something, I do it myself. Sigma: It’s a shame, Mysth. Really. You have potential, but your attitude really isn’t acceptable. And believe me, what I’m about to do will hurt me more than it will hurt you. *After saying that, Sigma drops his microphone. Mysth has a bad feeling about this but with the fatigue from the previous match, he can hardly move before Sigma and Matthews start kicking him, then grab him for a double Suplex as the arena is flooded with boos from the crowd. After that, Sigma motions Matthews to climb a turnbuckle. After Matthews is on the tope rope, Sigma puts Mysth on his shoulders on a sited position and Matthews jumps for a Doomsday Device! And it’s not over as Sigma motions Matthews to go outside. He does so and starts searching under the ring. After a few seconds, we can see he dragged a table! He slides it inside the ring and both he and Sigma set it up… only to be interrupted by John “The Lion” Valentine who just ran in! Matthews rushes at him but Valentine dodges and shoves him over the top rope! Sigma comes from behind and grabs Valentine for a Backdrop, but Valentine manages to counter and he lands on his feet on the table! Sigma turns around but Valentine grabs him for a Tornado DDT!! And now “Rebellious” Derren Matthews comes back into the ring, armed with a steel chair! He is about to strike Valentine with it but Mysth got up and hits a Shining Wizard which sends the chair right in Matthews’ face! Mysth and Valentine look at each other and seem to be quickly taking about something. They smirk then put Matthews on the table, before picking up Sigma and putting him into the nearest corner. They both set him up on the top rope and hit… A DOUBLE SUPERPLEX ON MATTHEWS AND THROUGH THE TABLE!! The crowd is on their feet! Mysth picks up one of the microphones and starts talking.* Mysth: Valentine… I just want to say thank you. I think you just prevented me from suffering broken bones. *Valentine picks up the other Valentine: There is actually no reason to thank me. I just did what I think is the best for the EWT. I am sick of saying assholes such as Sigma getting gold around their waist, representing our federation, and no-one doing anything about it. The fact that someone can hire another guy to get rid of another wrestler just makes me want to vomit, and that’s why I felt the need to get involved in this. *After saying that and while the crowd is cheering for him, Valentine offers a handshake. With little to no hesitation, Mysth accepts it as the crowd goes wild and “ King Of My World” hits. And we now fade to commercials.
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Post by Tea & Crumpets on Apr 21, 2008 12:45:01 GMT -5
*Cut backstage to Sum Guy and The Highland Diamonds. Emerald Warrior has a hand over Sum Guy’s mouth*
Emerald Warrior: Hey, this is Sum Guy *points to Sum Guy* and insert a random fact about him that nobody cares about here. He’s here with the class above the rest, head-and-shoulders superior by-far-the-best team in EWT, heck, in the entire WORLD!...... The Highland Diamonds.
Angus: Noo, ya don’t need me ta spout off aboot how bad we beat those Grease rejects Deuce N Domino. One look at tha remains o’ their stone-age car will tell ya that. And that kind of destruction derby is exactly what’s in store for every other team who wrestles us. We were embarrassed last week. We proved that tha’ was a fluke tonight, an rest assured, there’ll be no more flukes for a long time tah come.
Warrior: In a way, I regret that we destroyed your Delorean, Deuce & Domino, cause now you can’t go back to 1955 and mercifully rid us all of your presence, and instead your stuck here, not in 1985, not in 2005, but 2008! A year where guys like you just don’t belong.
Angus: We said it when we arrived, but in case yah missed it, I’ll repeat it for yah- 2008 will be our year! It is where we belong, and nobody else does! Nobody else is deserving of success, nobody else has tha skills needed fah success, an nobody else will even come close tah tha success that we will achieve this year.
Warrior: But it’s not all about the tag team titles, or at least not right now. Since there’s a little thing called the EWT World Heavyweight Championship that’s up for grabs on Sunday! The Royal Pain In The Ass Rumble, the most challenging match on the EWT calendar, zodiac or whichever time keeping method you prefer. 26 men, 1 winner. Toss 24 guys over the top rope, then you have a last man standing match with hombre numero veinticinco. And even after all that, there’s still more to go, since you then get a World Title shot in the same night, so essentially, you’re having to win a 25 man battle royale AND a last man standing match just to even get a title shot!
Angus: But of course, the one thing that nearly everyone else in this match lacks is a man ta turn to when tha goin’ gets rough. Tha’s guys on tha roster who’re much more experienced in this match than us, but we’ve got each other. 24 guys left, an only TJT an Team Ireland have a common link! An’ let’s face it, they ain’t got a chance o’ winnin’ when we’re in there wih’ them. But us, we know how ta get ta tha top o’ tha mountain. We’ll send all other 24 guys cryin home ta their lassies, then we’ll fight it oot like ol’ times fah tha title shot. By the end o’ tha show, one of us will be wearing that EWT World Heavyweight Title. An’ it’ll go ever so well wih’ tha EWT tag team titles, that will also be ours soon enough.
Warrior: And rest assured, it’ll be me who wins that Rumble, Angus.
Angus: Nope. Sorry, but it’ll be me.
Warrior: Me.
Angus: Me.
Warrior: Me.
Angus: I ain’t got time fah this.
Warrior: ……..Me.
Angus: Me!
Sum Guy: Me!!
*Both Diamonds turn to look at him*
Sum Guy:…..Erm, *looks at camera* I’m Sum Guy, and the power shower in my hotel room is broken! Back to the ring!
*The Diamonds shake their heads at Sum Guy and walk away* *Cut to adverts*
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Maelstrom
AC Slater
The Tide Will Turn!
Posts: 236
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Post by Maelstrom on Apr 23, 2008 8:01:23 GMT -5
We are backstage and Maelstrom is standing next to a poster for 'The Royal Pain in the Ass Rumble'. He nods as if telling us this is is time before he walks away to ringside for his match with Triple H
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Post by Gigantor Maximus on Apr 23, 2008 14:37:35 GMT -5
* "China White" begins playing & the Toomitron goes black as white letters followed by black & white images flash across it. The lights in the arena drop, focussing at the top of the entrance ramp. Dry Ice is pumped out & a silhouette is seen against the smoke. Gigantor Maximus emerges from the fog. He has a chain wrapped around his neck, he holds one end of the chain in each hand. He stomps down the ramp, shaking his arms & rattling his chain as much as he can. Gigantor stomps on down the ramp; roaring as he goes.* Toni "TG" Garcya: The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a 20-minute time limit, introducing first standing 7' 11" tall & weighing in at an astonishing 578lbs, he is the largest competitor in EWT, from the Land of the Giants... This is GIGANTOOOOOOOR MAAAAX~I~MUUUUUUUUUS!!! * The crowd chuckle as Gigantor stomps all the way down the ramp, shaking his chain & trying his best to look imposing. Gigantor has to use the ring ropes like a ladder to get into the ring. He continues to stomp his way around the ring, beating his chest & rattling his chain as he waits for his opponent.* "WEEEEELLLLLLL, IT'S THE BIG SHOW!" * Show's music starts playing & his pyro goes off, but there's no sign of the big man himself. Gigantor grows impatient. He stamps his feet in the ring & roars at the referee. He shakes the ropes & roars all the louder.* "GRRRRAAAAAAAGGGGGHHH!!! WAAAAAA DAAAA BUUUUUUUU SHOOOOOOOOOO!!!" * The Toomitron cuts backstage where we see The Big Show laid out. His face is bloodied & there is a chain wrapped around his neck. A chair, smeared with his blood, lies next to him & there are shards of broken glass surrounding him. Gigantor looks quizzically at the Toomitron. He doesn't have long to ponder the scene as he is attacked from behind by Poe Moe Foe!* * Poe Moe Foe cracks a Singapore Cane over the back of Gigantor's head. Gigantor stands again & gets whacked right in the face with the cane. Poe Moe Foe ducks out of the ring & drags out all sorts of crap. He tosses a table & a trash can into the ring. A bloody Gigantor begins to stand again & Poe smashes the trash can on the so-called giant's head! Poe places the trash can on Gigantor & whacks it with the Singapore Cane (which is falling apart by now). Poe sets the table up in the corner & throws Gigantor, still trapped in the bin, right through it. Gigantor rolls to the outside where he finally manages to escape the confines of the bin. This proves to be a mistake as Poe follows him & kicks Gigantor harshly in the ribs as EWT's smallest giant crawls on the floor. Poe reaches under the ring & produces a bag of thumbtacks. He pulls up the protective mat & scatters the tacks on the concrete floor. Poe grabs Gigantor by the hair. Gigantor tries to fight back, which catches Poe off guard. Poe knees Gigantor in the ribs & gives him a Facebuster on the concrete right into the thumbtacks. Gigantor lies on the floor, bleeding & in agony. Poe Moe Foe retrieves a microphone from "TG".* Poe Moe Foe: Gigantor Maximus, there's only two things I want you to remember after this beating. One, that you wanted this beating! You were a fool to challenge me. I don't care if you're Gigantor Maximus or the f****** Big Show, I will fight anyone of any size, any time, anywhere! The other thing I want you to remember is this is just a sample of what's to come next week. Next week, you're going to be in my element. Next week, it's going to be you and me in a hardcore match! And don't even think about using your injuries as an excuse to not show up, because we'll have this match in the f****** hospital if we have to! * Poe Moe Foe drops the microphone onto Gigantor as Black Sabbath's "After All (The Dead)" plays. Poe Moe Foe exits the ring & makes his way to the back. Gigantor lies in the ring & twitches slightly.*
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Post by Virus aka Captain No-Nuts on Apr 24, 2008 23:32:31 GMT -5
(We cut backstage to Sum Guy dashing through the hallways of the EWT Arena, looking for something... or someone. He finds an open door and steps into it, causing the cameraman to nearly trip over himself trying to follow. Once the camera rights itself we see an out-of-breath Sum Guy standing next to Virus, who is standing silently in front of a barrel.)
SG: I'm... *huff* Sum Guy... *puff*... and I should've had *cough* more Wheaties! I'm standing here with Virus, who shocked the EWT not once, but twice, first by returning, and then by throwing Minipax's Joe One halfway across the ring! Virus, the one question on everyone's minds is... Why?
(Virus smirks as if he knows what's coming, but decides to play along anyway.)
Virus: Why... what, Sum?
SG: Why come after Joe One, when John "the Lion" Valentine was the target of your ire before your neck injury?
Virus: That's an interesting question, Sum. You see, time changes a lot of things. It's been, what... about 6 months since Old School? And during that time, I've had almost nothing to do but sit and think. Think about why I was angry at Valentine. Think about my career. Think... about Minipax.
(Virus motions for the camera to zoom out and steps away, and we see that the barrel contains the white mask and black regalia he wore when he returned. Wordlessly, Virus lights a match and tosses it into the barrel, setting the clothing within on fire.)
Virus: You see, shortly after I was hospitalized, an agent of the so-called "Ministry of Peace" came to me while I still had my brace on. He told me that once I got better, Minipax would be fully behind me if I joined them. If I joined them... they would help me DESTROY JLV. And at first, it didn't seem like such a bad idea. I was a bitter, spiteful man then, and Minipax was saying everything I wanted to hear. For weeks, I doggedly attacked my therapy, attempting to get back to the ring so I could officially join the Ministry of Peace and rid myself of Valentine once and for all.
(Virus looks down at the flaming clothing and sighs.)
Virus: ... But then I saw something in some of the get-well packages I recieved from my most rabid of fans. It seemed so... normal. It was just a piece of media mail, a simple, burned DVD with a handwritten title: "The Best of the Lewiston Wrestling Federation". At first, my bitterness almost overwhelmed me into throwing the damn thing into the trash, but for some reason, some part of me wanted to see this fan's video... So I watched it. And I was taken back in time, back to a time when I could keep my personal life and my professional life from intertwining... and for the first time in God knows how long, I cried. I wept like a little baby, thinking that those times were gone.
Virus: And then something else clicked... I realized that Minipax wasn't trying to help me. They were trying to help themselves by getting another mindless goon on their side. I was emotionally and physically vulnerable after Old School, and they tried to strike while the iron was hot and make me even more into something I'm not. And I couldn't stand for that. So while I kept up the facade of wanting to join the bastards, I started planning to stand against them. And the result is what you saw in that ring just now.
(Virus now speaks directly into the camera, directly to the Ministry of Peace, as the flames in the barrel continue to burn.)
Virus: Minipax... you'll regret the day you ever sent that nameless agent into my hospital room. I am back, I am better than ever, and I will not rest until Minipax is dead. And if you don't believe that... you had better PREPARE... to BE... INFECTED.
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Post by invaderdave on Apr 25, 2008 22:50:15 GMT -5
Dave Davies sits in a lone folding chair backstage, not really doing anything in particular.
"So, I'm sure a few of you know that this weekend, we're holding the Royal Pain in the Ass Rumble. What you probably didn't know, though, is that I'm going to be in it. Thats mainly because I don't make a habit out of braying on and on about what I'm going to do. You know what I'm going to do. I'm going to backhand every sucker in that ring, and take what I've earned, the EWT Heavyweight Title. And I'm sure you're all wondering "where's Dave been, he had a tag title match to do, he's gotta take on Deuce and Domino", yadda yadda...well folks, I needed some time to clear my head. A good friend of mine passed on a few weeks ago, a mentor you could say, and that took a bit of time to get over. But I'm over it now. I'm back on the path. And I'm ready. I'm ready to take on Chance Confidence and all the other competitors in the Rumble. I'm ready to face whatever challenge comes my way. And I'm ready...to be your EWT Champion."
Dave leans back in his chair, again, doing nothing in particular.
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Apr 27, 2008 6:15:05 GMT -5
We come back from commercial to hear the tale end of Spaz's entrance music. He is sitting in the ring with a big stack of photos. Each photo has a picture of one of the participants in the Pain In The Ass Rumble.
Spaz: We have nearly reached the Rumble. It's no secret that I have never won the rumble. It's no secret that I wanna get back my EWT World Title. So I thought tonight we would take a look at my competition. Let see.... ah yes lets start with with these three chuckleheads.
Spaz holds up photos of Aidan Donnelly, Shane Malone & Sean McCann.
Now I have some Irish heritage, but these guys they put Ireland to shame! I'm sure they think that they can team up & outsmart everyone, but as soon as one of them sees a chance to eliminate each other they will turn faster then Elton John!
Spaz rips up each photo & throws them in a trash can sitting next to him Next he has a pic of Gigantor Maximus.
Look at this guy oooohhhh scary! But seriously everyone knows that the big guy never wins these things! As soon as he comes in everyone else will target him & he will be gone, they breed 'em big & dumb where Gigantor is from. What kind of name is Gigantor anyway? If you ask me he is compensating for something, if you know what I mean!
Maximus goes into the trash too. Next he has a pic of Andy Davidson.
Now here is an interesting character, sure he has a cool tattoo, sure he can swing a pool cue but that ain't gonna help you when I have you hooked in the Southern Cross Stretch! Plus us Aussies don't much like Poms, well with the exception of Limey that is. Into the trash he goes!!
Next is Joe One, Richard Clay & Sigma Williams
Ah yes, these three lunatics The Minipax. Sure Joe is a former World Champ but he has never faced me, when he does both him & this "Killionaire" will learn what a true world champ can do. Oh & by the way Killionaire is the worst nickname I have heard since my buddy from High School "Vomit". This Sigma guy has to be close to the ugliest wrestler in the EWT. Sure he is the Toolshed Title but does anyone care about him? Ever time he comes out here all I hear is silence.
Them into the trash as well. Next is Mahavir Abha.
Ah yes, the man from Mumbai. Yeah he has some skill but he seems more concerned with how he looks then what he can do in the ring. That is never, ever going to get him anywhere in this business!
Abha in the trash too. Next is Angus McAngus & The Emerald Warrior.
What is it with angry Europeans in EWT? There is the Irish idiots, now the is this Highlanders ripoff. Get an original gimmick chump! As for his partner, what a fruitloop! Green really isn't his color! Time to join the Rumble rabble in the trash!
Spaz picks up a handful of photos, Sammy Stardust, Percy St. James, Hardcore Hensley, Andy Duke, The Bad Man Jason & Jack Jupiter, Jimmy Thunder, Ghostface, Liam O'Neil & Dave Davies.
Look at all these guys! None of them fit to polish my boots! All of them into the trash!
There is a few photos left. He picks up Maelstrom's.
Now I know what you are thinking. I hate the guy right? He took my title from me. Well that used to be true, but during my time away I realized the reason we had such a war is that we are very alike & we both want the same things. If for some, insane reason I don't win this thing he will. But having said that, I will still beat his ass down!
Maelstrom ends up in the trash too. Next is Trik Turner.
Now this guy is just a pimple on my ass, barely worth my trouble but I keep squeezing stuf out of it & it just won't go away. After I throw him out of the ring I will have to name the move I use to do it The Clearasel Crash. Hey that's pretty catchy!
Toom E Danerously next. Spaz picks up the photo & bursts out laughing.
Is this a joke? Toom E in the Rumble? If I don't beat him to within an inch of his life & toss him out pretty much anyone else in the Rumble will!
That just leaves Chance Confidence.
Ah yes, Mr. Confidence, some of you may have forgotten about when I beat him in this ring when I was World Champion. I'm sure I will do it again!
Spaz throws the photo into the trash, he then gets up, looks under the ring & pulls out a can of gasoline & a book of matches. He then slides back into the ring & empties the gas into the trash can.
You see as soon as I enter the rumble everyone else's chance of becoming World Champion will go up in flames!
Spaz strikes a match & tosses it in the flames erupt into a large fire in the can.
At the end of the rumble I will be the only one left standing. I will once again be on top of the mountain!
Spaz's theme plays again & we cut to commercial with Spaz standing on the second turnbuckle, making the belt signal around his waist as we can see the fire in the background.
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Ass Dan
King Koopa
Curious about extra lines
Have you seen me?
Posts: 12,259
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Post by Ass Dan on Apr 27, 2008 12:18:19 GMT -5
We enter the main offices of the Ministry of Peace, where we see Joe One, Richard Clay, Christopher Indigo and Midnight Mystery standing in formation in front of the INGSOC Flag. Joe One approaches the podium.
One: As many of you know, last week, the empire of Oceania was embarassed by the man known as Virus. What this man had done is against the will of the Party, and as the representative of the Party here in the Extreme Wrestlecrap Threaderation, it is my personal duty to make sure that this Virus is taken care of. You can refer to me as the Vaccine, for my duty to remove the Virus from any harm to the EWT.
One: Moving on, tonight is the Royal Pain in the Ass Rumble, where the winner gets a title opportunity. As the previous EWT World Heavyweight Champion, it is my belief that I should be the one to get the title back firmly into Minipax's hands. Should I be eliminated, which I know cannot happen, the other members of Minipax are to be the ones to win the title. Any person who eliminates a member of Minipax will have to deal with the repercu-
Sigma appears in a really irate move. You could hear the door slam heavily, glass shatter and chaos erupting.
One: Mr. Williams, where have you been? We had an appointed time.
Sigma: I’m not in the mood to talk about schedules and appointments. I have some bigger matters. MYSTH!!!! You dare think you can outsmart the evil genius? You are sadly mistaken, my French poof. Your victory against me was nothing more than a fluke win and you know it. I hired Darren Matthews to teach you a lesson in humility; however it seems that you aren’t accepting and got your flunky friend John Valentine, who I just completely demolished in all of 1 minute, to help you. Now it’s time for the headmaster to forcefully drill in to you that lesson. Just remember, your friends are close, but your enemies are even closer. Wrap your cerebral cortex around that and conjugate that thought. NOW!!! The Rumble. It doesn’t matter to me who I have to throw out, who I have to demolish, and who I have to make suffer. As long as I get my hands on that strap, that’s all that matters.
One: Easy, Sigma. You are the Toolshed Champion, and now it is time for me to get my World Title back around my waist.
Clay: That's right.
Mystery: AOBIUCAOBHJAUIOPCNBIPUHQA!!!
Sigma: That so, you big bumbling bondaged bonehead? Well…*knees Midnight Mystery in the gut and Mystery just collapses* cross me and that happens. Anybody else want to cross me?
Sigma calmly walks off and leaves the office, One and the rest of Minipax look completely bewildered at what just happened.
*COMMERCIAL BREAK*
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Post by hardcorehensley on Apr 27, 2008 12:32:52 GMT -5
youtube.com/watch?v=NSvStbfSSLIJT Money's "Hit Em High, Hit Em Low" starts up as Hardcore Hensley enters through the curtains.Lillian Garcia: Ladies and gentlemen, you're EWT OX Division champion...HARDCORE HENSLEY!!! The champ makes his way to the ring with his belt hanging around his neck. He bobs his head up and down to his theme music.Jim Ross: I'll be damned before I say I'm one of Hardcore Hensley's diehards, but I will admit he's been having one helluva first month as the EWT OX Division champion. Joey Styles: You got that right, JR. From Bullz-I to Gigantor Maximus to Poe Moe Foe! Hensley's sure had his hands full. JR: Well, he asked for it. He said he was out to prove himself as a true fighting champion, and nobody in the back is letting him live it down. Styles: I'm anxious to see who steps up tonight! JR: If anybody, you mean. After his ruthless assault on Poe Moe Foe the other night, I don't think Hensley's exactly the warmest person in the lockerroom. Styles: Poe Moe Foe, yikes! Just that dude's name tickles me on the inside, and not in a good way either! Hensley slides into the ring. Garcia hands him her microphone then rolls out.Hensley: Lemme just go ahead, and get this out of the way. F*** POE MOE FOE! The crowd pops, and Hensley gives them his signature smirk.Hensley: Now that that's out of the way, there's a pretty big event coming up this Sunday. I believe it goes by, the Royal Pain in the Ass Rumble. They cheer some more.Hensley: Past winners of said spectacle have gone onto great things. This Sunday though, the most prestigious prize in this company is gonna be on the line, the EWT Heavyweight championship. JR: That's right, folks. Chance Confidence will be in the fight of his life! Styles: Poor guy. The Hardcore One removes his belt, and holds it up to the audience.Hensley: Now, this is a nice title, but tell me how much better you think it's gonna look when I'm carrying the EWT Heavyweight championship belt right next to it. He drops his mic, and hops up onto the top rope. His fans cry out to him while he hold his belt up high.
Suddenly the lights take an eerie orange and sinister music not unlike the Omen begins to play. Out from the back the enormous mass of man known as the Bad Man wanders out, his manic tiny eyes fixed on Hardcore Hensley. He has a microphone in his flabby hands which he slowly raises to his mouth as the fans boo him loudly.BAD MAN: Flheh ... flheh, heh, heh, fheh ... Your title! I want! ... flhehe,,,,flheheh ... I will have it ... and I will pulverize you like mince meat thrown to a pack of feral dogs ... flheheh ...For you are not hardcore, fleheh ... not like a bad man .... not like me .. fleheh BAD MAN (Angered): RHAARRRGGGHH!!! The Bad Man hastily runs to the ring enraged, scaring several children in the front row.
He slides in, shaking the mat almost enough for Hensley to fall down. He charges with a massive lariat that nearly takes off the champ's head. Luckily, he evades it with a quick roll. The Bad Man turns around for another attempt, but Hensley immediately meets him with several stiff kicks. He targets the ribcage, but they seem to have no effect on him. Confused, Hensley bounds off for the ropes. He comes back, but right into a spine buster!JR: Yowzers! Styles: Not good. Hensley tries to crawl to the ropes, but the Bad Man snatches his foot. He drags him back into the center of the ring then brings him up to his feet. He grabs Hensley by his throat, and suspends him into the air. His strength is too much for Hensley to bear. Audience members watching Hensley's legs kicking away as he cries out for air are forced to shield their eyes. Thankfully, one of his feet manages to catch the Bad Man below the belt. Even he isn't tough enough to endure that. The Bad Man's grasp loosens, and he keels over. Knowing he has no time to waste, Hensley shakes off his pain, and heads for the ropes. He springboards from the middle one, and comes back with a tornado DDT that plants his opponent. In a nice demonstration of balance, the Bad Man hangs upside down for a moment. Hensley eyes his move with curiosity until he comes back down. Too late to move, the champ is CRUSHED underneath of him!JR: Folks, that's more than a quarter of a ton that just landed on him! Styles: Hensley may have to get used to breathing through a tube when we're finished here. The Bad Man covers...
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No.JR: He kicked out, he kicked out! Styles: Noway. Unbelievably, Hensley actually pushes the Bad Man off. The crowd falls silent in amazement as Hensley gives them all a wink. His power is absolutely killed though, so he's unable to even make it back up to his feet. Meanwhile, the Bad Man is pounding away at the turnbuckle. Angrily, he rips off the padding. He storms over to his opposition, and grabs him by the back of his neck. He thrusts him up into the air, enjoying Hensley's yelps of hurt. He lifts Hensley up, and begins military pressing him. He does so about five times then drops him face first onto the exposed turnbuckle. Hensley's head bounces off, and he actually ends up outside of the ring.JR: Never good when you go face first into steel. Styles: Never. Holding his face, Hensley limps over to the guardrail, and jumps it. The Bad Man rolls out of the ring in pursuit, but before leaving, he pulls up the apron.JR: Oh no, I don't like where this is going. Styles: Please, don't let it be... He brandishes his signature small hammer. Hensley notices this, and rushes to get away. He disappears through a side entrance. The Bad Man follows eventually. Everybody looks to the ToomiTron, where the action picks up. The Bad Man walks through several doors, in search of the champ. One of which happens to be the Girls Next Door locker room. They yell at him, throwing a few blunt objects. Comically, he covers his eyes, and tries to find his way out. As soon as he touches the door knob though, Hensley bursts through with a sharp forearm. The Bad Man eats it, falling back against a wall. Hensley continues his assault with big rights and lefts. A few elbows later, and he has the big man bleeding. He grabs a chair next, but the Bad Man meets that with his hammer. Needless to say, the hammer wins. He raises arm to nail Hensley, but the champ ducks. The Bad Man smashes through the wall with his weapon of choice, startling everybody. While he yanks at it, trying to pull it out, Hensley hops up onto his back. He applies a rear naked choke, and the Bad Man struggles to get free. He backs Hensley up into the wall several times before actually sending him through it. They both fall through, and cameramen hurry to pick up the action. We go to the showers where the two are now trading hands. Hensley wins the exchange, thanks to one of the stall doors only though. Hensley removes the metal box surrounding the paper towels, and hammers the Bad Man with it. He breaks it in just a couple of shots. The Bad Man crashes against the sink, and it comes close to falling off!JR: This is getting out of hand! Styles: What are you talking about, this is EXTREME!!! Water fires out from the broken portions of the sink, hitting Hensley in the face. The Bad Man lets out a roar then storms Hensley. He picks him up, and sprints towards the wall. They smash through, and keep going through more. Suddenly, we get a shot of the outside of the building, where a truck full of hay in the back has been strategically set up apparently. In just mere seconds, the combatants come through the wall. They plummet into the back of the truck, ending with a tremendous THUD!JR: Kids look away. Styles: OH MY GOD!!! For a moment, nothing happens. The referee, who has finally caught up to the action, calls for help. When EMTs show up on the scene though, Hensley and the Bad Man sprout up, guns blazing! They go up onto the top of the truck, still firing away at one another. The Bad Man leaves dents wherever he steps. Appearing to be on the verge of victory, the Bad Man raises his arms, releasing another roar. As he does so though, Hensley drops to his knees, and scores a low blow. Again, the Bad Man keels over. Hensley looks over him, judging his next move. In what could only be described as phenomenal, Hensley performs a flip piledriver that ends with them both back in the hay!JR: You've gotta be kidding me. Styles: OH MY GOD!!! Cameras zoom in on Hensley's face. He's smiling. He climbs out of truck, taking the challenger with him. He beats on him from one end of the parking lot to the other. He stops at an ambulance, opening the back doors. Hensley takes out an abnormally large stretcher, specifically designed for the Bad Man some would suspect. As he goes to lay him on it though, the Bad Man grabs him by his throat. He starts to choke him, but Hensley kicks away at his flesh. Reluctantly, the Bad Man drops him. He tries one last lariat, but Hensley ducks it. He spins the giant around, and in an astonishing show of strength, places him on his shoulders!JR: That's not dead weight. Styles: That's not right! His legs trembling, Hensley slowly spreads his arms out. Holding his pose for a moment, he shakes it off then heaves the Bad Man onto the stretcher. Feeling ready to collapse, he throws himself on top of him. The ref, nervously, makes the cover...
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3!!!youtube.com/watch?v=NSvStbfSSLIHensley falls to the concrete, holding his arms high with an accomplished smile. The ref lays his belt over him then we watch as more than a dozen men pile the Bad Man into the ambulance. Hensley flips him the bird as the sirens turn on, and he's driven off.JR: Ladies and gentlemen, chalk up another successful title defense for The Only Man Who's So Hardcore They Put It In His Name. Styles: He's hardcore, he's hardcore, he's hardcore!
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