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Post by teamireland on May 31, 2008 10:14:51 GMT -5
*Waylander's "Born to the Fight" starts playing & the crowd begin booing. Coach O'Hare makes his way out waving his Hurley proudly he is accompanied shortly after by Shane Malone. The "Celtic Giant" strides out & stands on the stage. He raises his arms over his head & lets out a roar as the Green, White & Gold pyro explodes behind him.* Toni "T.G." Garcya: The following contest is scheduled for one fall & it is for the Extreme WrestleCrap Threaderation World Heavyweight Championship. Introducing first, the challenger, representing Team Ireland, being accompanied by Coach O'Hare, standing 6 feet, 8 inches tall & weighing in at 305lbs, from Galway, Ireland, He is "The Celtic Giant"... SHAAAAANNNNNE... MAAAA~LOOOOOONNNNE!!! *O'Hare & Malone continue their way on down to the ring to wait for the arrival of Shane's opponent. This is Shane's first shot at the EWT Championship & he intends to make it count.* * "Remedy" by the Black Crowes starts playing & Dave Davies makes his way out onto the entranceway to a rapturous ovation.* "T.G.": And introducing his opponent, from Steven's Point, Wisconsin, weighing in at 270lbs, he is the Extreme WrestleCrap Threadaration World Heavyweight Champion... DAAAAAAAAAVE... DAAAAAAAA~VIIIIIIIIIEEEEES!!! *Malone doesn't wait for Dave to get to the ring. He dashes out of the ring & right up the ramp. Davies sees him coming & doesn't allow Malone to get the drop on him. Instead, Dave leaps onto Malone & lays into him with a series of punches.* DING-DING! *Dave stands again after punching the hell out of Malone's face. Dave removes his EWT Title belt & waits for Shane to stand again. Shane ducks as Dave aims the belt at him. Shane manoeuvres himself behind Dave & attempts to give Dave a German Suplex. Dave locks his own legs in behind Malone's & blocks the Suplex attempt. He elbows Shane in the face. Shane releases Dave & stumbles a few steps backwards. Dave whips Shane towards the ring. Malone stops just short of the ring apron. Dave comes charging afterwards. Shane catches Dave as he runs at him & gives him a hip-toss onto the floor. Dave nurses his back & Shane stomps on his chest. Malone rolls Dave back into the ring as O'Hare mocks Davies. Malone whips Dave off to the ropes. On the rebound, Dave slides under Malone's legs & leaps up to kick the Irishman in the back of the head. Malone stumbles forward & Dave plants him with a Bulldog.* *Dave is getting amped up. As Malone begins to stand again, Dave crouches preparing for a lariat. Dave charges right at Malone, but O'Hare gets on the apron to distract Dave. As O'Hare gabs away at Dave, he is yanked off the apron by Liam O'Neill. O'Neill seems to have discarded his "Hollywood" garb. His hair looks scraggly & there's a wild look in his eyes. Dave turns his attention back to the match & gets clotheslined over the top rope by Malone. Shane reaches over the top rope to grab Liam by the hair. He drags Liam up to the apron. Liam punches Shane in the face. Shane reels backwards.* DING-DING-DING! "T.G.": Ladies & Gentlemen, the winner of this match as a result of a disqualification... SHANE MAAAA~LOOOONE! *The crowd boos the decision. O'Neill enetrs the ring & starts brawling with Shane. Dave re-enters the ring & tries to get to Liam. He shoves the crazed Irishman back off Shane.* Davies: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE?! *Liam doesn't have time to answer as Malone clobbers Dave from behind with a Rabbit Clothesline. Liam continues to brawl with Shane, but it isn't long before the rest of Team Ireland emerge from the back. Aidan & Sean come running down to the ring. Shane beats on Liam some more as his team-mates come running out. Aidan & Shane hit Liam with "Whiskey in the Jar". Sean heads to the top rope like he's about to hit the "Dublin Stomp". But Mahavir Abha comes running from the back & shakes the ropes, causing Sean to fall & crotch himself! Dave Davies gets to his feet again & drills Sean with a top rope Backdrop Driver! Donnelly, McCann & Malone stand facing Davies, O'Neill & Abha. The six men start brawling again. Brian Gold comes running from the back to help his partner out, before Brian can even make it down the ramp, he's attacked by Richard Clay & Christopher Indigo. Maelstrom hobbles out to attack the Minipax Members. Joe One comes running from behind & clips Maelstrom's leg with the Ingsoc flag. All three members of Minipax stomp away at the injured Maelstrom at the foot of the entrance ramp. Virus emerges from the back. The Tri-State Champion attacks Joe One, dragging him off Maelstrom & tossing him to the guardrails. Andy Davidson comes running out, snooker cue in hand to deliver a beating to Clay & Indigo. Davidson blastas Clay with the cue & then Indigo, before he can deliver a further beating to anyone, Ghost Face snatches the cue from his hands & whacks Davidson with it. Brian Gold rolls into the ring & joins the fary against Team Ireland. Brian is quickly overwhelemed as Minipax turns his attention to him. Clay & Indigo eneter the ring & attack their Escalator to Heaven match opponent. Virus tosses Joe One into the ring. Maelstrom rolls into the ring, protecting his leg, to attack Minipax. Andy Davidson & Ghost Face also join in the mass brawl. Andy Duke comes running down the ramp. He sees the fray in the ring & doesn't quite know what to do. Should he side with the man who will be his opponent or get a few shots in on him? Duke stands, conflicted for a moment. He rolls into the ring & brawls his way through the collection of bodies to make it to Davies. The two stand face-to-face for a moment. Neither making a move. Both are then attacked by other opponents & they never get the chance to face one another. The mass brawl continues as we fade out!*
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Sigma: Current SRW Champ!
Dennis Stamp
Writes about wrestling, does videos about game shows, helps transpeople, loves baseball etc.
Posts: 4,525
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Post by Sigma: Current SRW Champ! on May 31, 2008 11:49:59 GMT -5
Tony Schiavone: Ladies and gentlemen, last week you saw Vile make her debut in the Sigma-Matthews vs. Valentine-Mysth tag match when she brutally attacked Ivy and gave her a Tombstone Piledriver for her efforts. It’s obvious to me that Sigma had this planned from the word ‘go’ when Ivy Rosepine was announced back.
Jesse Ventura: That would have to be correct. Sigma brought her in to make Mysth’s live a living nightmare, and so far it’s working. Sigma once again defeated Mysth in the tag match, and now Toom E. Dangerously books her against Ludvig Borga in her first match.
Tony Schiavone: That probably doesn’t sit well with either one of them. But let’s get to the ring.
(Bell Rings)
GMC: Ladies and Gentlemen, our next contest is a special Intergender match, scheduled for one fall.
(Finnish National Anthem plays, crowd claps)
Introducing first, from Helsinki, Finland; He weighs in at 318 pounds, Ludvig Borga.
Tony Schiavone: Ludvig Borga makes his way to the ring, waving the Finnish Flag.
Jesse Ventura: I was told that Vile is an expert in Submission and Lucha Libre style wrestling. Let’s see how she fares in this contest.
(“Goodbye Blood and Rose” by Malice Mizer hits, crowd boos)
GMC: And his opponent, led to the ring by the EWT Toolshed Champion, Sigma; From Parts Unknown, weighing in at 175 pounds…Vile!
Tony Schiavone: Well, there’s Vile. One of the few masked wrestlers to grace our federation, Mr. Ventura. The only masked wrestlers that I remember are Fherago Crow and Crauswell.
Jesse Ventura: You’re probably right in that assumption, Tony. Vile is one of those mysterious wrestlers in the business where, either they don’t want you to know who they are or they aren’t that good looking underneath the mask. Aside from that, she’s here and she’s painted into a corner quick.
(Bell rings)
Tony Schiavone: The bell sounds and you’re right Jess. Her first match is against this big Finn in Ludvig Borga. Clearly this is punishment for the interference or Mysth and Ivy did a favor for Toom E. Dangerously to get this match.
Jesse Ventura: I think that’s the case as Ludvig charges into Vile but Vile slips out of the way and goes for the arm and gets an arm-wringer on Ludvig. Vile twists it again, but Ludvig whips her into the ropes.
Tony Schiavone: Vile ducks a clothesline from Ludvig and Springboards from the top rope and gives Ludvig a dropkick on the arm. Vile is weakening that arm pretty well. She needs to though, because she can’t win with power, so she has to rely on speed and agility.
Jesse Ventura: She has all of those attributes, plus Sigma is outside. There could be big advantages to that.
Tony Schiavone: Possibly. Vile now going back to work on that arm with an arm-wrench right now, and Ludvig just lifts her up with ease and throws her to the ground. Now he’s laying in some stiff kicks to her. Vile is a little dazed, but gets back up and gets clotheslined hard for her efforts.
Jesse Ventura: What Toomi was thinking when he organized this match is way beyond me. Borga comes off the ropes and is tripped up by Sigma. We knew that Sigma would play a part in this match, but so far, it’s been minimal.
Tony Schiavone: Yeah, that’s shocking and Vile is back to working on that arm and locks in a Fujiwara armbar.
Jesse Ventura: One of Vile’s specialties is working over a body part and making a larger opponent submit. She is wrenching that arm really good.
Tony Schiavone: Sigma is just standing there doing nothing. Not even helping his protégé out. Ludvig is trying to get back up, but Vile just wrenched on it some more and Ludvig just collapsed.
Jesse Ventura: That’s what you need to do against a bigger opponent. Weaken that appendage and you’re bound to get the victory and it’s happened there as Ludvig taps.
(Bell Rings, crowd boos)
GMC: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner by submission, Vile.
Tony Schiavone: Vile managed to beat the big Finn and got the duke in her first match, with minimal interference from Sigma. Technically, she beat Ludvig on her own accord.
Jesse Ventura: I agree with you Tony, she worked on that arm that entire match and he couldn’t take anymore and decided to give it up. Sigma has walked up to her and shook her hand. Raised it and now hands her a microphone.
Vile: It seems that our esteemed owner, Toom E. Dangerously, is not happy with my debut and decided to book me in this match against this lummox. What’s equally insulting is that someone who is in a position of power would bow to someone who is willing to give him fellatio for nothing, but to see the opposition and someone who is actually right about them being destroyed. (Crowd boos more) Ivy Rosepine, you didn’t learn from the beating I gave you one week ago. Come Crap-a-Mania Cinco, my mentor Sigma will demolish your pathetic little boy toy in Mysth, and down the road, you will no longer be “Sexually Suggestive”, but become a one-eyed, butt ugly (bleep) Tease.
(Hysteria by Muse hits, crowd cheers, Vile looks at the entranceway and sees Ivy Rosepine)
Tony Schiavone: There’s Ivy, and she has a look of anger in her eyes.
Jesse Ventura: Well, she was called whoring, and would become something that I can’t restate on basic cable TV without being let go. She’s entered the ring and is about to give Vile a piece of her mind.
Ivy Rosepine: Vile, you’re just like your mentor Sigma, paranoid and a bit mad. See, although I am not ashamed of my libido, I don’t go around and screw everybody that has a dick between their legs. I’m only like that with Mysth. I bet Sigma is just disappointed that I wouldn’t sleep with him if his life depended on it.
Vile: Sigma has nothing to do with this. I came to him on my own accord. I’m here to get rid of the wrestlers who would rather show off their curves than actually fight. Ivy, you’re on the top of that list. I chose to join Sigma because he knew everything about your weaknesses, your strengths and every other GND’s strengths and weaknesses. I am destined to win the GND title and take you and others that worry more about curves out of wrestling for good.
Ivy Rosepine: Well, why would want to get rid of wrestlers who actually look good. I bet you look like a horse’s ass underneath that mask. I mean, c’mon Vile. You probably put on that mask so people could actually look at you. You came to Sigma because nobody liked you. Nobody thought you were beautiful, so that’s why you wear that mask. If you thought you looked good, you’d unmask and prove me wrong.
Evidently, Ivy forgot about the Lucha code that a masked wrestler never unmasks in a non-match situation. Vile knew the code and just decks Ivy.
Tony Schiavone: Whoa, Vile just decks Ivy and we got ourselves a good old-fashioned catfight.
Jesse Ventura: Vile got offended by the looks comment and just layed into her.
Tony Schiavone: I don’t think it was that comment, Jess. It probably was the unmasking comment. Remember, Vile was trained in Lucha Libre where the mask is a sacred tradition. Although she might be a little batty, she does uphold that tradition.
Jesse Ventura: Hey, there’s Mysth coming down to pull apart Ivy from Vile and Sigma is pulling Vile away from Ivy. This feud is really starting to heat up.
Tony Schiavone: It has, Jess. Remember, this is just beginning. Sigma and Mysth square off at Crap-a-Mania Cinco for the Toolshed title. We’ll be right back.
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Post by Trik Turner on May 31, 2008 17:40:57 GMT -5
"Tricks of the Trade" plays over the system as Trik Turner makes his way to the ring. In the ring stands Mr. JL, ready for his match. Trik attacks JL before the match & hits him with the Trik Turner, throwing him out of the ring. He grabs the microphone to talk...
See the things I have to put up with? Mr. JL? What's the deal? I have Spaz coming up in a match this weekend & I get that as my warm up? It's like wrestling HitmanMark...no challenge!!
But this weekend, I can guarantee it will be no challenge, either. Spaz, I kinow what you're doing. Why you're helping me. You're trying to play mind games. You're trying to get in my head. But it's not going to happen. I am better then that. I am the opriginator of mind games. And you see Spaz, this coming weekend at Crap-a-mania will be a game in which I will match...set....win!
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Sigma: Current SRW Champ!
Dennis Stamp
Writes about wrestling, does videos about game shows, helps transpeople, loves baseball etc.
Posts: 4,525
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Post by Sigma: Current SRW Champ! on Jun 1, 2008 1:30:28 GMT -5
Tony Schiavone: Fans, next up is a EWT Toolshed Title match between Sigma and the big hog farmer from Bitters, Arkansas; Henry O. Godwinn. This match is actually going to be a Hog Pen match. Jess, this has to fall into a big advantage for the big pig farmer.
Jesse Ventura: You would think that, but all bets are off because Sigma is on the war path now. Sigma has a big time title defense against Mysth for the Toolshed title, and he’s looking to make an example out of the HOG.
Tony Schiavone: Let’s go to the ring.
GMC: Ladies and gentlemen, our next contest is a Hog Pen Match, and it is for the EWT Toolshed Championship. The rules are that you must put your opponent in the Hog Pen in order to win the match.
(“Don’t Go Messing with a Country Boy” hits, crowd cheers)
GMC: Introducing first, the challenger: from Bitters, Arkansas, weighing 296 pounds, Henry O. Godwinn.
Tony Schiavone: The big farmer is ready for action. He’s got his coveralls on, his slop bucket, and he’s ready to go.
Jesse Ventura: He is quite at home in the slop, and Sigma would be more than happy to put him back in the slop.
(“Princes of the Universe” hits, crowd boos)
GMC: And his opponent, Representing Minipax; being led to the ring by Vile, From Tacoma, Washington, he weights in at 259 pounds…SIGMA.
Tony Schiavone: Well, there’s Sigma with Vile alongside him. Vile just had her first match against Ludvig Borga, which was a winning situation for her, which in turn ended up in a pull-apart brawl between her and Ivy Rosepine.
Jesse Ventura: That was something to behold there in that brawl, and speaking of brawls Sigma is down there brawling with Henry Godwinn right now.
Tony Schiavone: Sigma and Godwinn just pounding each other with rights and lefts, and Sigma throws the hog farmer into the barricade. Sigma now laying stiff kicks and starts choking him with that size 14 boot of his.
Jesse Ventura: Sigma isn’t pulling any punches here. Sigma whipping him to the other side and Godwinn hits hard.
Tony Schiavone: Godwinn is just getting manhandled badly in this contest. Sigma is now just dragging him to the hog pen area and is propping him up via the Hog Pen fencing.
Jesse Ventura: Sigma is looking to put this thing away quickly. He wants to be at full strength to go up against Mysth at Crap-a-Mania Cinco. Sigma throwing a few punches and has the big guy wobbling.
Tony Schiavone: This match could be over quickly. Sigma going for the big boot, but Godwinn moves out of the way and Sigma is crotched onto the gate. We could have a new champion right now in Henry Godwinn.
Jesse Ventura: Sigma thought he could put him away right now, but that was a huge mistake and Sigma could pay the price right now.
Tony Schiavone: The fans are on their feet here as Henry Godwinn is just one move away from taking the belt off of Sigma. Henry is making a charge and takes an elbow to the mush from Sigma.
Jesse Ventura: Sigma saved his title right there as he gets off of the gate and puts Henry Godwinn back onto the gate and has him by the throat. Could be a chokeslam here to spell the end.
Tony Schiavone: Yes indeed as Sigma lifts him up and puts him into the Hog Pen to end this match.
(Bell Rings, Crowd boos)
GMC: Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner and still EWT Toolshed Champion, Sigma!
Tony Schiavone: Sigma narrowly escapes this contest, but MYSTH! MYSTH IS BEHIND SIGMA AND HE’S GOT HENRY GODWINN’S SLOP BUCKET!
Jesse Ventura: He better not be thinking of sloping the champion, would he?
Tony Schiavone: I bet he would as he taps the shoulder of Sigma, And HE POURS THE SLOP ALL OVER SIGMA’S HEAD! AND TAKES THE BUCKET TO SIGMA’S HEAD AND SIGMA IS IN THE HOG PEN WITH ALL OF THOSE DISGUSTING PIGS AND HOGS!
Jesse Ventura: Mysth finally gets a measure of revenge against Sigma as he’s all covered in unpleasant goo. Sigma tries to get up but he slips on some manure.
Sigma: MANURE! I HATE MANURE!
Tony Schiavone: Sigma said it, he hates manure. And we’ll be right back.
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Post by Tea & Crumpets on Jun 1, 2008 12:48:23 GMT -5
*Cut to the arena* Announcer: ladies and gentlemen, the following tag team match is scheduled for 1 fall! In the ring, at a combined weight of 499lbs, Johnny Ace, Shane Douglas, The Dynamic Dudes!
*Emerald Sword by Rhapsody cues up as the Highland Diamonds walk out. Angus walks icily to the ring as Emerald Warrior swaggers along as usual. He is carrying a skateboard and spraypaint can with him and wearing a pair of sunglasses over his mask, and continuously yells “DUDE!” obnoxiously at random crowd members.*
Announcer: And on their way to the ring, at a combined weight of 489lbs, Angus MacAngus, the Emerald Warrior, they are the Highland Diamonds!!!
*The Diamonds enter the ring. Angus removes his kilt while Emerald Warrior gets on the skateboard and skates it over to the Dudes corner with a cocky grin, then drops the can and glasses and quickly jogs back before they can attack him.*
*DING DING DING!* Cole: Well here we go, the last stop on the road to Crap-A-Mania for the Highland Diamonds, as they prepare for the biggest match of their career against TJT!
Mick Foley: The Highland Diamonds are certainly making a name for themselves, but don’t let the goofy mannerisms fool you, the Dynamic Dudes are very accomplished individually. Johnny Ace had a very successful run over in Japan and won many tag titles with Kenta Kobashi, while Douglas had an infamous career in ECW. Though they never got far together, they are very experienced competitors.
*Emerald Warrior and Ace start it off. They lock up, and Warrior quickly snaps off an arm drag. Ace gets up, and is met with a lucha lire style throw by Warrior, taking Ace over. Ace gets up again, but dodges out of Warrior’s grip and slaps him hard! Warrior staggers back, and Ace fires off some punches, backing Emerald Warrior into a neutral corner. Emerald Warrior ducks a swing and Ace goes into the corner, and Warrior then springboards to the middle rope and dropkicks Ace in the corner! Ace staggers out and gets caught for a hiptoss, which Warrior follows with a kick to Ace’s back. Warrior then runs to the ropes and punts Ace in the face! Cover 1………..
2………
Kick out! Warrior drags Ace up and tags Angus in. Warrior picks Ace up as if for a suplex, and Angus applies a waistlock as they hit a cross between a Northern Lights suplex and a brainbuster! Angus makes another quick cover 1….
2……
Kick out!*
Cole: The Diamonds are going at the Dudes fast to start off, they want to wrap this up to be fresh for the Post Per View.
Foley: I can’t say I blame them Michael. Scaffold matches are risky environments, and they need to be as fresh for it as they can be. They’ll want to end this early.
* Angus pulls Ace to his feet, and starts picking his spots with boxing punches, forcing Ace back to the ropes. He goes for an Irish whip but Ace weaves through and drops Angus with a DDT! Anus bounces to his feet and goes for the Sweet Bagpipe Music, but Ace sidesteps and goes for a Cobra Clutch Suplex! Angus fights out, grabs Ace and hits a bridging German suplex! 1…..
2…..
Kick out! Ace gets up and Angus goes for a lariat, but Ace catches the arm, ducks through and then grabs Angus. Ace Crusher! Ace Crusher! Angus is down! But Emerald Warrior runs in and blindsides Ace, and drags Angus towards his corner. He tags himself in forcibly, but Ace was able to get a breather and tag out to Shane Douglas!*
Cole: Oh my! The Highland Diamonds almost gave the Dynamic dudes an opening there!
Foley: See what I mean? The Dudes are very seasoned competitors; they know what they’re doing in there.
*Douglas comes in, and as Emerald Warrior goes for a running DDT, Douglas counters into a reverse Atomic Drop! Warrior hobbles away bent over, and is dropped with a clothesline! Douglas waits for him to get up, and this a series of knife edged chops! The crowd start wooing, which makes Douglas turn and scream at them in fury, ranting about Ric Flair. Warrior uses this opening to grab Douglas and spike him with a backdrop driver! Emerald Warrior follows it up by rolling Douglas over and applying the Emerald City Stretch! Douglas is trying to get out but can’t, and Ace has to break it up. As Ace goes back in though, he is dropped as Angus leaps off the top, flooring Ace with the Flying Scotsman lariat! Ace staggers to his feet, and Angus grabs him, and throws him over the top rope with a version of a T-Bone suplex! But Angus turns round, and is waffled by Shane Douglas with the Franchiser! Angus totters away, but Douglas then catches him, and throws him over the ropes onto Johnny Ace with an overhead belly to belly suplex! Douglas then turns to Emerald Warrior, only to be sent through the ropes by the Emerald Gleam! Emerald Warrior then climbs the corner, sets up while waiting for Angus and the Dudes to get to their feet, and leaps off with the 5 * Moonsault onto all 3 men outside the ring!* Cole: Considering they want to end it early, the Diamonds are still taking some risks! Foley: They’re having to take these risks to get openings for control, to hit their big moves and try to get the win. *All 4 competitors start to stir. The referee reaches a 4 count before Emerald Warrior rolls Douglas back into the ring. Warrior makes a cover but Douglas kicks out before 1. Meanwhile, Ace and Angus are fighting on the floor, Angus grabs the skateboard that Warrior brought to the ring, but Ace throws Angus over the rail into the crowd before he can make use of it. Angus yells at Warrior to get the referee, and Warrior picks up Douglas. He positions himself in front of the referee then whips Douglas to the ropes, then dives on the referee, pushing him out of the way of the oncoming Shane Douglas and drawing his attention under the pretence of protecting him! Angus uses this opening to knock Johnny Ace’s lights out, swinging the skateboard into Ace’s head! Ace goes down at ringside, busted open, and Angus climbs back over the guardrail. Angus then gets the can of spraypaint, hides it behind his back, and climbs to the apron. But while Warrior has been bothering himself with the referee, Douglas is recovered. He this a powerslam on Emerald Warrior, then runs at him while he’s down and this his trademark rolling neck snap! Douglas makes a cover 1…….
2-kick out!*
Cole: This isn’t right! The Highland Diamonds bent the rules to take out Johnny Ace!
Foley: I can’t say I approve of it Michael, but it served its purpose. This match is essentially 2 on 1 now.
*Douglas, who hasn’t noticed what happened to Ace, signals for the Pittsburgh Plunge. He grabs Warrior, going for it, but Warrior fights out. Emerald Warrior goes for the Emerald Fusion, but Douglas slips out and hits an inverted DDT! He goes to make a tag to Ace, but then notices his partner is out cold! Douglas calls the referee over, but this proves costly, as while the referee is checking on Ace, Angus has tossed Warrior the spraypaint, and he uses it to blind Douglas with a quick squirt to the eyes! Warrior tags in Angus as the referee turns around, and taking care to prevent the ref from seeing the paint in Douglas’ eyes, they set Shane up for a double-team. After taunting to the crowd they hoist Shane up and connect with a double Emerald Fusion! Angus makes the pin, forcing his forearm into Douglas’ face to again stop the referee from seeing their illegal actions 1……..
2……..
3! DING DING DING!* Announcer: Here are your winners, the Highland Diamonds! Cole: I’m getting sick of this. More rule-breaking by the Diamonds to get the win. Will they ever just beat a team fair and square?
Foley: The Diamonds weren’t interested in wrestling tonight. They wanted a quick match, and they got it. Their tactics may not be condoned, but their results are usually the desired one.
*Rhapsody’s Emerald Sword starts up, but then dies out as each of the Diamonds grab a microphone.*
Angus: It’s been a while since we’ve done a live interview in tha ring. Last time we did this was our debut, an’ what was the result o’ the match after our debut? Victory.
Warrior: Which is why we are doing this tonight, cause it means we will also win at Crap-A-Mania, with any luck.
Angus: TJT, ye’ve been great champions, but yah run is goin’ ta end. We will become tha tag champions by tossin ye both off tha scaffold. We don’t intend ta cause ye any injuries, but in Scaffold matches these things happen. We’re only interested in the belts, but like ah said last week, we aren’t concerned aboot how we get them.
Warrior: I’m not going to say you’ve been great tag team champins, cause to be honest, that’s not my style. The only truly great things in EWT in my view, are me, my entrance music, and my ring gear. And maybe Angus.
Angus: TJT, what ye’ve done here is infamous. Ye will surely go down as one of t top teams ever in EWT. But noo, it’s our turn. We aren’t one of tha best teams in EWT, we are THE best team, and we’ll prove it at Crap-A-Mania.
Warrior: Now, our PPV record so far isn’t so good, but that wasn’t in tag team action, that wasn’t even in singles action! We will beat you at this Post Per View, and set up an undefeated streak that will last for as long as the human memory can remember! And I fully expect all those fans down in Mexico to get behind me for the show, as I was of course good enough to grace you with my presence back in my early days of lucha libre, so the least you can do is give me the mandatory nostalgia appreciation in return. Heck, some sincere cheering would be nice as well. Cause let’s face it, there’s not much else that’s ever gone through Mexico for you to be proud of, except perhaps when Dog the Bounty Hunter pursued some criminal across the border, and a person who calls himself after an animal isn’t exactly a highbrow celebrity.
Angus: TJT< I won’t bother with tha small talk, with tha cockiness. Mah partner supplies more than enough fah 2. I’ll just say this- unbuckle the belts from your waists, give them one last polish, an’ unscrew yah name plates off them, cause those World Tag Team Titles are comin te us. See ye at Crap-a-Mania.
Warrior: B****es.
Angus: *mumbles*why do I bother........See ye at Crap-a-Mania, it’ll be our pleasure ta meet you, and an even greater pleasure, ta beat you.
*They drop the microphones, and Emerald Sword cues up again as Angus picks up his kilt and they exit.*
*Cut to a hype package for Dave Davies vs Andy Duke*
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The White Boys
Mike the Goon
Rammer Jammer, Yellowhammer, give 'em hell, Alabama!
Posts: 7
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Post by The White Boys on Jun 1, 2008 19:47:55 GMT -5
*We open on a backstage area. There is a lot of crowd noise and electrical and musical equipment, most likely a concert. Suddenly, Toby Keith comes from behind a door. He walks around until he comes across a stagehand.* Stagehand: The concert begins in 30 minutes, Mr. Keith. Toby: Thanks. *The stagehand walks away, and Keith walks over to some boxes and leans on them. He waits there for a little while. Then, Justin White walks up to him, carrying his Rebel Flag designed guitar.* Justin: Mr. Keith? Toby: *turning to Justin* Yes. Justin: Mr. Keith, I was wonderin’ if I could have a minute of ya time. Toby: Sure, what do ya want? Justin: Thank ya, Mr. Keith. I’m a big fan of your work. I just love Shock’n Y’all. Toby: Well, I appreciate that. However, lookin’ at that guitar there, I’m guessin’ you didn’t come just to show your affection for my music. Justin: No sir. You see, I wanna be a country music singer just like you. Toby: Well, I’m a little flattered. Justin: Thank ya. Anyway, I was wonderin’ if ya would be willin’ to listen to one of my songs, if ya don’t mind. Toby: Is this some kinda ploy to get me to get you a contract? Justin: Well…I’m a gonna be one hundred percent honest with ya—yes. Toby: Well, I admire your honesty. So, sure, what the hell. Go ahead play yar little song. Justin: Really!? Why thank ya, Mr. Keith. Okay, here it goes. *Justin tunes his guitar a little. Then, he starts playing his song. The tune is very similar to Keith’s song “Courtesy of the Red White and Blue.” Then, he starts singing.* Justin: Southern Girls and Southern Guys Always told to have Southern pride Always told to recognize When we see The Rebel Flag flyin’ high A lot of men died So we can sleep in peace In the beds in which we lie. My daddy served in the war As his dad had done before They flew that Rebel Flag high in the sky Until the day that they died They wanted their families To grow up and live happy In the land of the free. Now the South that I love Has fallen under attack From one of its own Who has stabbed them in the back Now we can handle a Northern attack But to have a Southern brother hurt us this way Is a low down dirty shame So, that asshole must pay. Hey Toby Keith You better watch where you walk Or you’ll find a rattlesnake That will shut-up your talk There’s gonna be hell to pay For such a thing like this It’s time that you learn That ignorance is not always bliss And all of the South will is going to rain down on you And the South will leave you Red Black and Blue Justice will be served You will feel our rage We’ll give you a fight In the streets or in a cage And you'll be sorry that you messed with The people with Southern pride 'Cause the South will rise And skin and tan your hide! Hey Toby Keith You better watch where you walk Or you’ll find a rattlesnake That will shut-up your talk There’s gonna be hell to pay For such a thing like this It’s time that you learn That ignorance is not always bliss And all of the South will is going to rain down on you And the South will leave you Red Black and Blue!!!! *Justin strums his guitar a little more and then stops playing.* Justin: Well, what do ya think? Toby: What the hell was that? Justin: What do ya mean? Toby: Don’t play dumb with me! I know, you ain’t no fan. You’re just some guy who thinks I’m practicin’ ignorance with that song. Justin: Practicin’!? More like preachin’ it. Toby: First off, I’m not gonna apologize for bein’ patriotic! Justin: Well, how about you apologize for makin’ the rest of the world think everyone is the South are a bunch of ignorant hicks who only wanna solve our problems with violence. It makes me sick to think you’ve gotten rich makin’ your own people look like morons. Toby: Well, I think your song is little misinformed. Most of the people I met from the South quite enjoyed that song. Justin: Don’t worry. With time and me and my brother becomin’ famous showin’ our fellow Southerners the error of their ways, you are gonna become quite unpopular! Toby: Well, I think you got a few screws loose in the head. Justin: And, I think you are an asshole. Toby: You wanna go, boy. Justin: Yes, I do! *Suddenly, Justin blasts Toby Keith in the head with his guitar. Toby falls to the floor. Justin jumps on him and starts punching him. Soon, some security guards and Toby’s people run over and pull Justin off of him. Toby’s people check on him to see if he’s okay. One guard grabs Justin and pulls him away. He puts Justin down, grabs his arm in a hammerlock, and pushes him to the outside of the arena. Justin yells in pain the whole time. Once outside, the guard takes off his hat, revealing himself to be Justin’s brother Jason. He lets go of Justin’s arm.* Justin: Damn, bro! Did have to nearly break mah arm!? Jason: Well, I had ta make it look realistic! Justin: Yeah right! Anyway, did I do good!? Jason: You did great, brother! Justin: Great! Now, let’s get the hell out of here! *Jason and Justin run off to their truck.* Justin: Hey, Jason! When we gonna go to EWT? Jason: Soon, bro. Soon! *They get to the truck and enter it, Jason in the driver seat and Justin in the passenger seat. Jason turns on the truck, and they quickly exit the area.*
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Dave at the Movies
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
VINTAGE D-DAY DAVE! Always cranking dat thing.
Posts: 18,224
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Post by Dave at the Movies on Jun 1, 2008 20:50:45 GMT -5
Cut From Commercial Howard Finkle- This match is scheduled for one fall. First coming down to the ring weighing in at 401 pounds........................Bastion Booger!!!! (Booger's music plays on the PA and Bastion marches down from the entrance.) Gorilla- Look at the girth and presence of Bastion Booger Jess. Ventura- Yeah he hasn't been dominating the EWT championship belts but I'm sure he has been dominating the EWT catering area. Gorilla- You know what Jess? For some reason I've always thought that Bastion Booger looks a lot like Friar Ferguson. Jess- Yeah they must be related or something. Finkle- And his opponent from South Badstreet, USA weighing in at 230 pounds....................."The Celtic Rebel" Damien Xander!!!!!! (Warrior's Code by The Dropkick Murphys ( youtube.com/watch?v=F8983rGY3v0 )hits the PA and Damien comes out wielding a big green metal chain. He sprints to the ring and slides underneath the bottom rope. He gets up and swings the chain around.) Ventura- Here is a hot new EWT rookie Gorilla. Gorilla- Yeah I guess we will see what he's got here against Bastion Booger. (Damien puts the chain down in the corner and the match begins. Bastion jumps the gun and comes crashing Damien right into the corner. Bastion picks Damien up and puts him into a bear hug. The ref asks Damien if he wants to give up but he yells out "Noooo!!!" Soon Damien scratches Bastion right in the eye to break the hold. Bastion is mad and comes charging at Damien but Damien moves out of the way just in time as Bastion charges right into the corner. This does not hurt Bastion much but it does knock him down and because of his mass he is not able to get up very easily.) Ventura- Man Gorilla Bastion must of eaten too much before the match. Gorilla- Bad mistake for a guy of his size. (Damien sees his opportunity and stalks Bastion who is still getting up slowly. Bastion finally makes it to his feet and Damien grabs Bastion's head in a scorpion death drop way and tries to go up for the System Beater but Bastion is just too big. Damien gives up and just starts delivering buzzsaw side kicks to Bastion wearing Bastion down. Damien runs off one rope to the other but jumps onto the middle rope right when he gets there bouncing himself off of it with a big sidekick to the face of Bastion Booger knockig him clean out. Damien goes for the cover. 1 2 3!!!!!!!!!! Finkle- Here is your winner........................."The Celtic Rebel" Damien Xander!!!!!! Gorilla- Well a nice debut win for Damien Xander. Jess- Yeah Gorilla I think Xander really showed us what he is made of today. Wait what is he doing?! (Damien goes to grab his chain. He gets it and walks over to the fallen Bastion Booger.) Gorilla- He isn't going to hit Bastion with that is he?! (Bastion is starting to wake up but Damien grabs Booger's legs and arms and hog ties him with the chain and puts a lock on it. Damien goes deep down into his cargoe pants pocket and pulls out a small green spray paint can. Damien rolls Bastion to his side and starts spray painting something on Bastion's back. When he is done the camera gets up close to read what it says.) The Rebellion Shall Begin Soon - The Celtic Rebel(Damien goes and grabs a mic. He starts speaking in his deep Irish-American accent.) Damien- The Celtic Rebel has arrived here in the EWT and I've brought something with me. No it is not just my chain. No it is not just my spray paint. It is an idea. The idea of Rebellion. This Rebellion will start soon but only I know when it shall really begin. Why am I bringing a rebellion to the EWT? Because I can and the Powers That Be can't stop me!!!!!! (Damien throws the mic down on Bastion and makes his exit as Warriors Code plays on the PA.) Gorilla- Wow Damien Xander promises a rebellion. What do you think he means by that Jess? Ventura- I don't know but Xander sure seems pretty confident that this rebellion, whatever it is, will be coming soon.
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Post by The Caribbean Crew on Jun 1, 2008 21:24:01 GMT -5
*We open up on a beautiful sunny day in New York City. The sky is blue and cloudy. And, it is quite hot, but a nice breeze blows through the air. There are people sitting of apartment stoops in Spanish Harlem. Then, a very beautiful Puerto Rican girl walks into the frame. She has long black hair and blue eyes and is wearing a short floral dress and nice red high heel shoes, with a red purse to match. She is walking down the sidewalk without a care in the world. Suddenly, a man spots her. He is immediately enamored with the girl and quickly darts towards her.* Man: Hey, mamasita! How ju doin’? Woman: Um…fine. Man: So, what’s jur name presious? Woman: Rita Perez. Man: Oooh, Rita! That’s a pretty name, mamasita! Rita: I just said it was “Rita,” not “Mamasita.” Man: Hey, no nee to get snippy! I’m just tryin’ to be nise! Rita: *sarcastically* Really? Man: Yeah! I wanna get to know ju! So, how about we go an’ get some coffee? Mi hermano works at Starbucks! I can get it for free! Rita: No thank you! Man: No thank you!? Wha’? Ju don’t like a coffee? Rita: No, I don’t. Now, get lost! Man: Hey! That ain’t nise! I’m tryin’ to be all polite and stuff, and ju bein’ all rude and stuff. What gives!? Rita: Ju don’t wanna know, papi! Now, get lost! Man: No, I DO wanna know! Rita: No, seriously, you don’t wanna know. It will make ju feel bad. Man: Make me feel bad!? Ju’re loco! I got hard skin, like a rock! I’m tough, so why don’t ju gimme jur worst, mamasita, okay? *They stop walking.* Rita: Okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn ju. Man: I promise I won’t. Rita: I know what ju’re tryin’ to do, papi. Ju see me walkin’ down the street, and ju thinkin’ to jurself, “Oooh! Look at that hot mamasita! She look all fine as hell! I woul’ love to get that hot little numba into bed! I bet she woul’ be a great screw!” So, ju come up to me, actin’ all nice an’ shit an’ ask me for to go get coffee or some shit. And then, ju sweet-talk me until I start thinkin’ “Ju know, girl, he look nice—he act nice. Maybe he a nise boy who won’t hurt me an’ leave after I have sex wif him.” So, I do an’ what happens! Ju get jur sex an’ ju freakin’ leave me alone in bed! I’ve been down this road many times, papi, an’ I ain’t gonna go down it, again! So, like I said—GET LOST! *Rita starts walking again. The man just stands there, looking angry. Suddenly, he darts towards Rita, gets in front of her, and grabs Rita by her shoulders.* Man: Look, I ain’t like that! Like I said, I’m a nise boy! I ain’t gonna leave ju! Just gimme a chance! C’mon! Have coffee wif me, please!? *Rita thinks about it for a minute.* Rita: No! Man: C’MON! HAVE COFFEE WIF ME!!!!? Rita: Oh, hell no! Espesially if you gonna be yellin’ at me like that and shit! Now, let me go! Man: No! Rita: Are ju deaf, papi!? Man: I didn’t wanna do this, but I don’t take no for an answer! So, ju gonna have coffee wif and ju gonna like it! *Suddenly, Rita grabs the man by his balls and squeezes tight. The man yells out in pain.* Rita: I didn’t wanna do this either, papi, but ju forsed my hand! *Then, she headbutts the man and lets go of his balls, scraping them with her nails as she does so. The man falls to the ground in pain.* Rita: Ju messed wif the wrong girl. And, ju better not be doin’ this to any of the other girls ‘round her, or not only will I come back, but so will my three friends. And, they don’t like guys who mess with girls like ju! *She kicks the man in the balls and walks away. After a few seconds, she gets to the edge of the sidewalk; and a red Cadillac convertible with the top down pulls up. Inside the car are Benjamin Bannock, in the driver seat; Tony Colón, in the passenger seat; and Marie Martinique, in the backseat on the driver side.* Tony: Get in. Rita: Why? We goin’ somewhere? Benjamin: Yeah, mon! We goin’ ta EWT! Rita: Really!? Marie: Yes. The contwacts came in today! Rita: Sweet! *Rita jumps into the car, sitting in the backseat on the passenger side. Then, they drive off.*
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Post by xombiehiphop on Jun 1, 2008 22:07:56 GMT -5
Chapter 3: Rotten
Ghost Face: "..I find it quite ironic..that as The Platinum Association is disbanded..each of it's members quickly fall through the cracks..except of course..for myself.."
With a dark sky hanging over head, we find Ghost Face standing upon a mass of garbage. A landfill. His current location? A dump. Literally. His white attire is pushed lightly by a growing wind, he gives his single black glove a few tugs before sweeping his dreadlocks backwards. Ominously laying at his foot is a lifeless hand belonging to..well, you'll find out..
Ghost Face: "..Clearly, I am the only alumni of this unfortunate faction that's worth anything. The others were merely epigone's, false prophets. As if a pack of rich, spoiled, sycophantic revelers could ever spark a revolution.."
Lifting the dark colored briefcase he won in his last appearance, tilting his to the side as he studies it carefully
Ghost Face: "And Chance? You may not be aware of this, but your extremely lucky you decided to disband us when you did. Because myself, along with my brief stable mates were nothing more than a camarilla. We had sought to overthrow you after your pitiful title reign. Of course, I would have done the same to them after their usefulness wore thin.."
The fingers laying on the ground give a few slight twitches..
Ghost Face: "So, I've realized that I don't need a group backing me. I never have. Because this..."
He gives the briefcase a few pats
Ghost Face: "..I obtained it on my own. With no help from a macabre parade. No help from a gaggle of upper crust peons. I have to admit..I received a sort of schadenfreude chill as I snatched this prize from six other, unworthy competitors. And now that I have this, I can instantly become the number one contender for any title I desire.."
Ghost Face shifts down to a kneeled position, the camera's vision backs up a few paces, revealing the arm connected to the pair of fingers
Ghost Face: "..Which one will I pick? Don't you worry about that just yet. I'll make my intentions known when it benefits me the most. And the man who holds the title I'm going to take? He may be the worst case of someone not appreciating the life they've been given in this entire cesspool. Even as ubiquitous as this condition may be.."
Ghost Face rises back to a standing position, the appendage laying on the ground is given a name to go along with it. Duke "The Dumpster" Droese. He is laying face first amongst the filth, breathing slowly but unable to move. Ghost Face motions a hand down towards him
Ghost Face: "Take this man for example. Duke Droese. He has a profession most people only dream about. And what does he do with the majority of this time? He drugs and rapes unsuspecting women who are unfortunate to cross his path. The punishment matches the crime. He is drugged amongst the garbage he wallows in on a daily basis. The moniker "The Dumpster" is more fitting than it seems.."
His arms are raised skywards, as if speaking with the heavens themselves
Ghost Face: "And just as their dignity was robbed from them..so to is your own. Ruminate in this prison of your own creation, ruminate in your own filth. And when you are finally able to move again..you'll have a new understanding on life. ..And your welcome.."
A large amount of the grim is kicked upon the helpless Droese as Ghost Face turns and begins to head in the opposite direction, clutching his briefcase securely. Duke can only lay motionless as the rotted inhabitants, maggots, began to make their body his home. And their home for the next few hours has a long, tortuous span of time in which to pinpoint when his life took a wrong turn..
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Post by Cassius Money on Jun 2, 2008 0:54:25 GMT -5
"Money (That's What I Want)" by The Beatles hits the arena. The lyrics are performed by a voice not of the legendary group though.A blue eyed, stubby figured man with curly blonde hair, and a small mustache comes out. He's decked out in a tan suit...with stretch pants! He's also sporting a WaCkY tacky Bugs Bunny tie, and some dark shades. He doesn't go to the ring, instead opting to remain on the stage. A sort of microphone device is attached around his head."Ladies and gents...boys and girls...allow me to formally introduce you to a true business man, to an e-wrestling God!" The fans in attendance stay silent, simply staring astoundingly at the man."The name's Cassius Money, kids. I get money, aha!" He chuckles to himself as the fans stay quiet still."I've come here for one sole reason, and that is to make you..." He turns around, and points towards the back."famous. You see, for the next couple of months, I'm gonna be on the lookout for the hottest free agents in EWT. Blah, maybe they won't even be in EWT, who knows! All I can tell you is I like to think of myself as 'The Man For The People'. I know what you want, and I promise you it...very soon..." He laughs maniacally for a minute before heading backstage. The fans abide nonetheless in bewilderment.
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Maelstrom
AC Slater
The Tide Will Turn!
Posts: 236
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Post by Maelstrom on Jun 2, 2008 10:57:56 GMT -5
We return to ringside where the fans are waiting when 'Apocalypse Please' hits the speakers. The crowd cheers as out from the back limps Maelstrom. He is clearly in some pain as he hobbles down in his street clothes.
JR: Maelstrom is here, but I doubt he is in decent shape after yesterday's brutal Escalator to Heaven match.
KING: Your right JR, In fact I heard Maelstrom had broken his ankle so for him to be walking to ringside just shows what a tough man this Maelstrom is.
Maelstrom is now in the ring as his music dies off, he grabs a microphone and looks out across the cheering fans, he waits for a lull in the cheering
MAELSTROM: It would seem that as of late the waters around the EWT have been taking a battering. Knees have been injured and now ankles, yet this time I have no one to blame except the sheer violence that lends itself to a match like the Escalator to Heaven.
The crowd cheers some more
MAELSTROM: I put a lot into that match, I sent men flying and even put my own body on the line as it fell through the air, but in the end it was not enough and a dark shadowy figure snatched the briefcase at the last minute. Ghostface you won that match and you won it well, but don't waste your chance as there are others waiting if you fail. Others like me!
the crowd cheers on for Maelstrom
MAELSTROM: Now then that match is the past and being a man of the current, I think it is time to look to the future. In that match one might suggest I and another individual deserve a chance to reach for the gold again. I'm of course talking of the man who decided to go with me over the end of the escaltor to the cold hard ring floor at the end. ... Andy Davidson.
Some cheers for mentioning 'The Eagle' can be heard
MAELSTROM: Some may ask why I would even suggest offering an opponent a chance, but then I remind those people that my nature isn't to be underhanded or to divert the flow, like some I have faced in recent months. No it is to meet the competition head on and through sheer force and dominate this company!
The crowd cheers once more
MAELSTROM: So I propose a simple idea to the board and Toom E Dangerously! An idea that avoids the skullduggery and politics. At the next PPV or earlier it should be Maelstrom vs Andy 'The Eagle' Davidson. With the winner becoming the number one contender for the EWT Heavyweight Title!
The crowd cheers loudly at the idea, however it is drowned out by some odd music and the appearance of Evad Sullivan who marches to the ring and demands to fight!
JR: I don't think Maelstrom is really in any shape to wrestle after last nights mat ... WOAH!!!
Maelstrom caught Evad completely offguard with a headbutt and the bell rings. Knocking the big guy down, Maelstrom quickly steps around and locks in the Water-on-the-Brain! Evad has nowhere to go and taps out ! The bellrings as the impromptu match is over as quickly as it started!
KING: Looks like those internet reports were exaggerating JR, Maelstrom is clearly not as badly injured as predicted and in excellent form.
As 'Apocalypse Please' plays Maelstrom heads to the back still with a slight limp his idea bound to cause uproar backstage between the other wrestlers
(fade out)
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Sigma: Current SRW Champ!
Dennis Stamp
Writes about wrestling, does videos about game shows, helps transpeople, loves baseball etc.
Posts: 4,525
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Post by Sigma: Current SRW Champ! on Jun 2, 2008 16:09:04 GMT -5
Sigma is walking backstage to the Minipax office where One and the rest of the Minipax crew are awaiting him.
Sigma: This better be good, I got more important matters I need to attend to. I gotta prep Vile on Tiffany, I need to return these guys calls, I need to book my flight for the World Series of Poker and now this. Oh well, when in Rome.
Sigma then opens the door to the Minipax office where there’s a little celebration going on.
One: Sigma, this is for you. You successfully defeated that ingrate Mysth and kept the Toolshed title in Minipax. You have done us proud in upholding the honor of our fine organization.
Clay/Indigo: HERE, HERE!
Mystery: BOAISHDIOPBN!
Sigma: Upholding the honor of Minipax? Listen, if it wasn’t for me busting my ass week in and week out, nobody would even give a rat’s ass about Minipax. You guys have done nothing in the past 4 months except rest on your laurels, and dwell on past successes like your EWT Title Reign. As far as I’m concerned, all that I’ve seen of you nimrods is loss, after loss, after loss.
One: Well, we’re going through a rough patch. The leaders at INGSOC will guide us through this ordeal and we’ll be stronger and go through the 9 Orders and conquer and rule EWT with an Iron Fist. That title is key in this ordeal.
Sigma: So, the truth comes out. You’re just using me in order to complete your (bleep)ed up Orders so you can dominate. It figures from a power-hungry jackass. It’s just as I figured. Nobody in this group has a pair of (bleep)ing Bollocks, and if you did, you aren’t using them. You’re all (bleep)ing pathetic and no longer worthy of my time. And One, you’re the most pathetic of them all. Brainwashing Indigo just to do your bidding, no-showing the biggest event in this company’s history and not to mention the fact that you have been going around like you are all so high and mighty, when you don’t even have a piece of gold to your name anymore. The name on this belt reads “Sigma” Not “Joe One”. You NEVER sponge off of me EVER! The last person that did that is still being treated at the Intensive Care unit. As far as I’m concerned, this organization is nothing more than one bad running joke, nothing more. If you want to prove me wrong, then go out there and prove me wrong. I’m out of here. I got my own problems to worry about. Don’t ever call me again, I’ll call you.
Sigma walks out of the party thrown for him, One and the rest of Minipax are shocked at the turn of events.
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Post by teamireland on Jun 3, 2008 14:34:36 GMT -5
* "Amhrán na bhFiann" plays as we fade into a shot of the Team Ireland Locker-room.* * A podium of sorts is set up in the middle of the frame. Sean & Aidan stand to either side of it. Coach O'Hare stands behind it wearing a pair of half-moon glasses. Behind him stands Shane Malone with his arms folded across his chest.Sean holds in his hands the briefcase he won at at Crap-A-Mania Cinco. An Irish Tricolour is pinned to the wall behind the assembled Team Ireland members.* O'Hare: First order of business, Team Ireland were obviously victorious in our Ladder Match at Crap-A-Mania Cinco. [He gestures towards the briefcase Sean holds], this means we are now delivering an ultimatum to Liam O'Neill, either rejoin Team Ireland, or we will play this tape for the whole world to see. You have seven days to make your decision. Secondly, Aidan has brought shame on team Ireland by failing to win the Escalator to Heaven Match at Crap-A-Mania. For punishment, no beer for a month. Aidan:... WHA?! O'Hare: Thirdly, Aidan will have a chance to redeem himself. This week, I was going to pit Shane & Sean against the Highland Diamonds for the EWT World Tag-Team Championship, however, since Aidan needs the opportunity to gain some respect back from his team-mates, he will be competing in Shane's place; Shane will be facing Brian Gold in a singles match. Speaking of De Whizbang... I would like to think that Dave Davies is a man of pride, just as Shane is. To that end, I would like to think that he would prefer to not let Shane rest on his laurels, so to speak. Shane holds a DQ victory over the current EWT World Heavyweight Champion, due to the interference of that eejit Liam O'Neill. Ergo, Team Ireland are throwing their proverbial hat into the ring. Dave Davies vs. "The Celtic Giant" Shane for the EWT World Heavyweight Championship. Before that happens though, I'd like to remind Davies AND The Highland Diamonds of one thing... YOU WILL NEVER BEAT THE IRISH!* The strains of "Amhrán na bhFiann" are heard again as we fade out.*
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D'Zee
Mike the Goon
Posts: 4
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Post by D'Zee on Jun 3, 2008 14:45:40 GMT -5
(We cut to a video promo)
VOICE OVER: For years EWT has seen truly great female superstars step through it's doors, but now in the year 2008 it is time for a veteran to show you what's next!
As "Ghetto Bird" by Ice Cube plays, we see a street that looks like it could be in the Bronx
VOICE OVER: She is the lady that hunted down and knocked out the other harlots in 2006.
The camera passes through the street, past a few bums and a generally run down neighborhood, sirens can be heard in the background
VOICE OVER: Packing one hell of a punch, this lady knew how to fight and boxed her way to the top outside the professional wrestling world
We go into a youth centre clearly devoted to boxing. As youngsters train in the background we pan around the ring. A sole person standing in the middle shadow boxes, she is wearing a hoody hiding her face to the camera.
VOICE OVER: Now she has returned to EWT and claimed the Girl Next Door Title, an achievement many thought would never happen.
The Camera stops in front of the woman, the EWT Girl-Next-Door Title hangs around her waist. With a swift lift of her head the hood falls back to reveal D'Zee looking determined!
VOICE OVER: Those people have been proved wrong! D'Zee is your GND Champion and she intends to either make you see this truth or make you see stars!!
D'Zee grins a nice confident smile, before smashing her fist into the camera!
(Cut to next segment)
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Post by Tea & Crumpets on Jun 4, 2008 11:28:15 GMT -5
*Cut to backstage with Todd Whatsiname and the Highland Diamonds. The Diamonds are wearing their new belts, and there is confetti, streamers and banners adorning the room. Emerald Warrior is wearing a party hat over his mask and is noticeably overexcited.*
Todd: Hello, I’m Todd Wha-
Emerald Warrior: *interrupts* HEY TODD! HAHAHAHAHA!!! We did it! We told you we’d do it! We told the whole world, and the whole world saw us do it!! Haha, yes!! Tag team gold, tag team gold baby the biggest, best, most prestigious tag team gold we’ve ever held!! Haha, I could kiss you Angus, except I’m not into that sort of thing! Haha!!
*Warrior walks offscreen*
Angus: Ye know, I’m not one ta gloat, but everythin’ mah partner says is right. We did it, we won the tag team titles. In 4 months, we’ve accomplished what some teams have never done in tha whole 4 year history of the EWT! These belts are ours. We won the Scaffold as we promised, an’ noo we are on tha top of tha mountain. When we first arrived, we said we would show we’re tha best tag team here, an now we have tha belts ta prove it. And everybody is now wantin ta know where we’ll go from here, what’s next, well-
*Emerald Warrior walks back in with a bottle of champagne.*
Warrior: Hey Todd, get ready to receive the biggest pop of your life!!
*He pops the champagne cork out of the bottle, and sprays the champagne out of the bottle, drenching Todd in it.*
Warrior: Hey Todd, you might be able to make a fortune if you strain the bubbly off your suit; this champagne is that inordinately expensive! Anyway, yeah!! Everybody wants to know what we’re gonna do next, tell em Angus! Tell em you crazy Scotsman, you! *Warrior starts pouring out glasses of champagne* Angus: Well, as ye know doubt know, our career origins are not here in EWT. Mien are in Scotland, Warrior’s in Mexico. So with that being said, we think it’s only right that we re-visit tha places we came up from, an we paraded these belts around fah tha people who learned ta adore us way back when! So, Tha Highland Diamonds, with tha EWT tag Team belts in tow, are goin’ on a little Homecoming Tour. First, we’re off ta Scotland. Family reunions, traditional Scottish p***-ups, an maybe a tag title defence. Then, it’s off ta Mexico.
*Warrior returns with the champagne. He gives one to Angus, teases Todd at first before giving him one.*
Warrior: And one for the guy behind the apparently invisible camera! Ha!
*He walks to the camera and hands the cameraman a glass*
Warrior: Right, yeah, where were we? Mexico! Yes, Mexico! It’ll be una fiesta muy muy grande!! That’s a very, VERY big party, for you ignoramuses who have no grasp of Spanish linguistics!! We’ll pint the whole country red with exuberance!!! And I suppose we’ll squeeze in a tag title defence against a coupla luchadores as well. And we’re going to do it all in time to face Team Ireland at the end of it! Woohoo!!!
Todd: Speaking of Team Ireland, how are you approaching that upcoming title defence? Are you not at all worried that Team Ireland, possibly spurred on by their victory over Mahavir Abha and Liam O’Neill at Crap-a-Mania, coupled with Aidan Donnelly hunting for a win, that they could well take your titles in your first defence?
Angus: Listen Todd, Team Ireland were once a great team. They’re former tag team champions, but listen very closely. They aren’t much ta talk aboot anymore. They’ve not held gold in a long time. An’ they’ve never been up against a team like us before. I’m Scottish, I hate the Irish. Those ginger-haired little whisky-stealin’ idiots, or, as they say, eejits, ain’t got a chance against me. It’s the battle o’ tha Celts, an trust me, tha Scots are tha far superior Celts.
Warrior: And being Celtic isn’t the only similarity, is it? Y’know Angus, you and Aidan have a lot in common. You wrestle similar, you look similar. Heck, I’d like to place a bet at the bookies that sometime down the road there’s going to be a massive swerve in the track thanks to a man who’s name rhymes with Mince Lusso, that you and Aidan are long lost illegitimate twin cousins or something.
*Angus gives Warrior a look of disdain and turns back to Todd*
Angus: And listen Todd, despite these similarities, there are still 2 major differences. Firstly, I’m Scottish, Aidan’s Irish. Scotland always beat Ireland. An’ second, we’ve got the title belts, they haven’t. Champions’ advantage means these belts are not leavin’ our waists. Now I suggest ya leave, unless ya want ta stick around an see just how lively things get when you’re partyin’ Aberdeen style!!
Todd: Oh…..Sorry, I don’t really like getting drunk.
Warrior: Well then what are you in here for??!!
*Warrior bustles Todd out of the room, as Angus throws his kilt over the camera lens.*
*Cut to adverts*
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Post by hardcorehensley on Jun 4, 2008 18:10:54 GMT -5
"Hit Em High, Hit Em Low" starts up, and Hardcore Hensley makes his way to the ring. He's noticeably displeased, but not like you'd expect.T.G.: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the EWT Ox Division Championship! Introducing first, the champion, hailing from Richmond, Virginia, he weighed in this morning at approximately two hundred and fifty-two pounds...HARDCORE HENSLEY!!! * "Hats Made of Veal & That New Car Scent" by Abominable Iron Sloth plays from the Toomitron as Liam O'Neill makes his way out. Liam has shaved off his "Hollywood" mustache He has several cuts on his face. He has discarded the colourful garb he wore at Crap-A-Mania Cinco. His shades, bandanna, tights & feather boa are gone. His long red hair looks unkempt & messy. His shoulders are slumped. He walks slowly with his head held down. He wears a black pair of pants & elbow length black fingerless gloves.* "T.G.": Introducing the challenger, from Cork, Ireland, weighing in at 209lbs, LIIII~AAAAM... OOOOOOOO~NEEEEIIIILL! *The fans are unsure of how to react to this version of Liam they see before them. Even Hensley doesn't quite know what to make of him. Liam rolls into the ring. He's breathing quite loudly.* DING-DING! *Hensley tilts his head to the side as he gazes at Liam. Hensley goes to lock-up with Liam. Liam makes no move to react to Hensley; he doesn't even look up to face his opponent. Hensley grabs Liam's arm & whips him toward the ropes. on the opposite side of the ring. Liam halts before he makes it to the ropes. He simply stops & turns in the direction of Hensley again, but he doesn't face him. Liam never looks up. Hensley is undaunted. he charges right at Liam & knocks the Irishman off his feet with a clothesline. Hensley turns back around & sees that Liam is standing again already. But Liam is making no move to attack Hensley. Liam merely stands in place. He doesn't even approach Hensley. Hensley whips Liam towards a corner. Again, Liam makes no move of resistance. He hits the corner chest first & lies slumped over the turnbuckles. Hensley approaches from behind. He lifts Liam up on to the top rope without any bother & gives him a Back Suplex from the top! Liam crumples on the mat, but stands once again. Hensley is baffled at Liam's gluttony for punishment, but decides to oblige the Irishman anyway. He dumps Liam out of the ring over the top rope. Liam stands again on the outside. Hensley aims to follow up with a Vaulting Body Press, but Liam simply wanders back inside the ring & Hensley crashes on the floor. Hensley clutches at his chest on the outside waiting for the inevitable attack from Liam. But Liam makes no move towards the ropes, he simply stands & waits for Hensley to get back in the ring. By this point, Hensley is slightly weirded out. He doesn't want to just beat on an opponent who offers no resistance, where's the achievement in that? But he would be no kind of Champion if he doesn't beat his opponent. Hensley keeps an eye on Liam as he re-enters the ring, certain that the Irishman is up to something, but again, Liam barely moves. He just stands there breathing heavily.* *The crowd's (& Hensley's) attention is turned towards the entrance ramp as Tiffany comes tottering down it. She stands on the ring apron, yelling words of encouragement at Liam. He continues to keep his head down, not listening to what Tiffany has to say. Tiffany pleads with Hensley to say something to Liam. Hensley is at a loss. He speaks some words to Liam, but they garner no reaction. Liam's head remains down. Tiff enters the ring & rubs her hands on Liam's chest. She whispers into his ear. Liam remains stoic. Hensley pushes Tiffany aside &, reluctantly, hits Liam with the "Pizza Cutta".* 1... 2... 3!!! "T.G.": Here is your winner & STILL EWT OX-Division Champion... HARDCORE... HENS~LEY! * "Hit 'Em High, Hit 'Em Low" plays again as Hensley retrieves his OX-Division Title from the time-keeper's table. Liam sits up again in the ring & walks right to the back again without looking at the crowd. Tiffany is trying to keep up with him, practically screaming at him, but Liam pays her no heed as he walks on to the back.* Meanwhile, Hensley slides back into the ring with a microphone."Yeah, about that...anyway, if he's not busy, I'd like the man responsible for my match with Poe Moe Foe from Crap-A-Mania Cinco to please come down." There's a long pause before EWT Management's Representative appears. He climbs into the ring, and a mic is immediately rushed to him."Mr. Hensley-" "Don't you even open your f***ing mouth! Do you have any Godly idea what I wanna do to you right now?" "Sir, I think you just need to calm down-" "I'm not gonna CALM DOWN MOTHERF***ER! You screwed me over, and now it's time for you to man up about it!" "HEY! What are you gonna do, hit me? Is that what you wanna do? You wanna hit me because I won't let you, and another man kill each other? NO!" "Oh shut up! Look, I'll sign papers, whatever, just let me have that son of a b****!" Another period of silence comes with the Representative seeming to fall into deep thought. He glances up, staring directly at the champ."No." He drops his mic, and rolls out. He heads up the ramp, never looking back as Hensley calls after him. He throws his belt down."TAKE IT! I DON'T CARE! DO YOU HEAR ME? IF THAT'S WHAT IT'LL TAKE THEN HAVE IT! JUST LEMME HAVE HIM!!!" The Representative disappears, leaving Hensley in the center of the ring, almost on his knees.
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default
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Blames Everything On Snitsky. Yes, Even THAT.
Posts: 17,056
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Post by default on Jun 5, 2008 0:48:11 GMT -5
It's Monday morning, June 2nd. Sammy Stardust sits up in his bed, attempting to push his eyes open. A confused look crosses his face as he looks around the room before remembering that he is still, in fact, in Mexico. He rubs his jaw, sore from last night.
Stardust: Ugh...
Suddenly a light goes off in Stardust's head as he frantically begins looking around.
Crap, I got a plane to catch.
Stardust spots the alarm clock and checks the time.
Stardust: Geez, an hour and some change and I gotta catch a cab.
Stardust rises out of bed and begins to quickly dress himself. Well, as quickly as a man can with one arm. With a pair of black dress pants on and his black leather slip-on loafers he looks around and grabs his belt. He picks it up in his hand and begins lacing it through his buckles, spinning around with his one arm to get it around the back and then turning quickly to slide it through the rest of the way. He sits down on the bed and quickly pulls the belt back as he leans back and pushes the tail of the belt back guiding a worn hole through the metal prong and then tucking the tail through the loop to the right. Stardust shoots up again and walks over to a duffel bag, opening it up and looking inside quickly. He then walks around the room, grabbing a book, a walkman, some CDs and other small items of his and throwing them in the bag. Stardust finally picks up an empty bottle of Beefeater's and looks around before finding a trash can in the corner to set it in. Stardust zips up the bag as he grabs his wallet off the nightstand sliding it into his left back pocket. He stops, clutching his jaw once again.
This didn't hurt nearly as bad last night...
Stardust's eyes shoot down a the floor with a puzzled look. He kneels down under the legs of the night table and grabs a piece of white cloth
Stardust: What the...
Holding it in his hands it becomes clear as day... panties. Stardust sets them back down where he found them and begins heading for the door, grabbing his duffelbag when he stops, dropping it. He pats his chest, feeling his white Hanes A-frame shirt and realizing that in his hurry, he's forgotten something.
Stardust: Where is that shirt at?
Stardust rips up the white bed sheets but no dice. He drops to the floor looking under the bed, but again comes up empty.
Stardust: Here $200 silk shirt... here $200 silk shirt...
Crawling on his hands and knees he looks under chairs in corners before stopping at a dresser. He begins opening drawers from bottom to top, standing up in the process. He backs off, shaking his head at the missing shirt when suddenly he stops looking at a door. Stardust looks away and then back as if saying to himself "no." He heads to the door and opens it up looking inside and shuts it quickly his eyes bugging out. His mouth gapes open as he rubs his sore jaw when the toilet flushes. The door opens and out steps his white silk dress shirt. However, shirts don't walk and certainly don't flush crappers. Unless, of course, they're attached to a stunning Mexican mamacita. She looks over Stardust with smirk and a look of familiarity before speaking.
Señorita: Me acaban.
Stardust looks at her confused as she smiles and points into the bathroom. Stardust quickly decides to head inside simply to regain his composure. He turns on the sink water and looks at his face, deciding he doesn't really need a shave but splashes water on his face. He spots a cup and pulls out his toothbrush sticking it in his pocket before filling up the cup and raising it up. The señorita flies into the room, slapping it from his hand before he can drink it.
Señorita: ¡No bebes el agua!
Stardust: Agua that's water... bebe? Baby? Wait, no... no water. Oh! Don't drink it!
Señorita: ¡Si, "Hu-ater" es malo!
Stardust: Grassy ass, seniora-uh... senorita?
Señorita: Tu español no eres bueno.
Stardust: Uh... si.. bueno. Uh... Yo soy... tengo... uh...
Stardust struggles having only taken basic Spanish in high school and realizing the little he comprehended then has obviously been knocked out of his head since.
Stardust: Uh... Tengo... air-o-plane-o.
Señorita: ¡Si, aeroplano!
Stardust: Uh... America... er, yo mean Estados Unidos. Yeah, that's it.
Señorita: Tienes que irse, entiendo.
Stardust rubs his jaw a bit as he looks at the gorgeous woman before heading to the door. Slinging his duffel bag on his shoulder he begins to head out when he stops and turns around.
Señorita: Oh yeah... tu... pant...alone...eetos es there... There? Uh... key? aqui?
Stardust points down to the floor as the señorita turns around confused before walking over and then suddenly turning around with red cheeks as she giggles and smiles nervously.
Stardust: Uh... adios.
Señorita: Señor, no quieres tu camisa?
The señorita pulls at the bottom of the silk shirt a bit before undoing the top button as Stardust stares with a blank look on his face for a second before snapping out of it and looking past her at the clock.
Stardust: No... no... uh... es tu ahora.
Stardust stops and mouths ahora silently as he looks puzzled he remembered the word.
Señorita: ¡Gracias!
The señorita runs over to Stardust and begins hugging Stardust as she begins speaking rapidly confusing Stardust to the point he quickly shakes his head realizing he can't begin to comprehend what she's saying. Looking over her shoulder he spots the clock and gently attempts to free himself. She begins kissing his face as he re-adjusts his duffel bag and steps back towards the door. He steps outside and shuts it as the señorita stands back smiling, looking at the shirt.
Señorita: Gringo estúpidos
Walking out of the room, Stardust sets the bag down and unzips it pulling out a pair of gold tinted sunglasses. Zipping the bag up he heads toward a street pausing in steps. He nervously digs into his back pocket and grabs his wallet, looking inside. He sighs in relief as the money is there and grins before stepping into a parked taxi.
Stardust: Aeropuerto rápido, por favor.
Taxi Driver: Si señor.
Stardust: You know, man, I could get used to living here. Beautiful women, beautiful weather, beautiful sites...
Taxi: Solamente hablo un poco inglés.
Stardust: Ah... si, es OK.
Taxi: Jajaja, OK, meester. ¡Si!
[¡]Stardust relaxes looking out the window when suddenly he reaches up and rubs his jaw. He slowly pushes it forward as cartilage in the side makes a popping sound. Stardust grumbles a bit and then moves his mouth before reaching two fingers up and pulling out a hair from between his teeth. He looks at it a second with a confused look and then flicks it out the window before leaning against the door and rubbing his jaw.[/i]
...I just hope after that lariato that Duke is at least this worst for wear. Regardless, I have my work cut out for me.
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Sigma: Current SRW Champ!
Dennis Stamp
Writes about wrestling, does videos about game shows, helps transpeople, loves baseball etc.
Posts: 4,525
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Post by Sigma: Current SRW Champ! on Jun 5, 2008 21:31:45 GMT -5
Tony Schiavone: We have right now fans a fatal four-way for the EWT Toolshed Title. Sigma went into CAM Cinco with the title, and to most people’s surprise kept the title after the match. Mysth wants his title rematch, but other people want a shot at Sigma as well.
Jesse Ventura: Well, Darren Matthews wants to sponge more money off of Sigma, Sigma says no, and Matthews went to Toom E. Dangerously and got a title shot. Needless to say, John Valentine managed to get a title shot as well. So, we have a four-way for the Toolshed Title. We can expect carnage, mayhem and for 3 ladies to probably get involved.
Tony Schiavone: Unfortunately that won’t happen as Toomi has barred all 3 ladies from ringside. Plus, Vile is in action later on, she’s facing off against Tiffany. But right now, let’s go to the ring and Gary Michael Capetta.
(Bell rings)
GMC: Ladies and Gentlemen, our next contest is the Fatal Four-way match, and it is for the EWT Toolshed Championship.
(Babyshambles by Killamangiro hits, crowd boos)
From Cambridge England; he weighs in 226 pounds, “Rebellious” Darren Matthews.
Tony Schiavone: Darren Matthews makes his way to the ring. He lives by his own set of rules and doesn’t care about anything.
Jesse Ventura: Matthews is home in this type of match where anything goes.
(“I’m the King of My World” hits, crowd cheers)
GMC: From Oak Harbor, Washington; he weighs in at 228 pounds, John “The Lion” Valentine.
Tony Schiavone: John Valentine wasn’t involved at Crap-a-Mania, so he’s fully rested for this encounter.
Jesse Ventura: He also was squashed by Sigma, so he has some fight in this match and a score to settle as well.
(“Otherworld” by Bill Muir hits, crowd jumps to their feet)
GMC: From Strasbourg, France; he weighs in tonight at 220 pounds, “The Darkness in the Light”, Mysth!
Tony Schiavone: Mysth still a bit banged up after that brutal match against Sigma a few days ago at Crap-a-Mania. He’s eying revenge big time here.
Jesse Ventura: Mysth is dangerous when he needs to extract revenge and he’s wounded. So, Sigma is a marked man.
(“Princes of the Universe” hits, Crowd boos)
GMC: And from Tacoma, Washington; Representing Minipax, He weighs in tonight at 281 pounds, the EWT Toolshed Champion, SIGMA!
Tony Schiavone: Jesse, Sigma fought hard and retained the title here, will he tonight?
Jesse Ventura: Well, Sigma beat both Valentine and Mysth, so there’s an inherent advantage to that, and Matthews has no shot against him, so Sigma clearly has the advantage.
(Bell Rings)
Tony Schiavone: There’s the bell and Mysth is just going after Sigma with rights and lefts. Matthews and Valentine hook it up and both of them are on the outside.
Jesse Ventura: I kind of figured that Mysth would go after Sigma. He’s been in EWT the longest out of all of these 4 and hasn’t yet won a title. Sigma is not as rested as Matthews and Valentine are and so he’s going to go after Sigma. It just makes sense.
Tony Schiavone: I understand that as on the outside Valentine just slams Matthews head into the steel steps. And back into the ring, Mysth hits a low blow on Sigma and Sigma goes down in a heap.
Jesse Ventura: I don’t think Sigma’s mind is in this match. He’s stretched himself out quite a bit with Vile, the upcoming World Series of Poker and Minipax. He needs to refocus on this match.
Tony Schiavone: He does indeed as we see Valentine just go after Matthews, but Matthews nails him in the leg and Valentine goes down. Mysth now grabs a steel chair but Sigma nails him in the knee and takes the chair and blasts him over the head.
Jesse Ventura: There’s the Sigma we are used to seeing; blasting Mysth and anyone else underneath him. Now, Sigma lifts him up and just tosses him down with a body slam. Sigma goes for a cover…but the ref sees Valentine pin Matthews first.
Ref: 1…SIGMA! PUT ME DOWN!
Tony Schiavone: Sigma physically picks up the ref and points him to Mysth. Sigma then covers Mysth.
Ref: 1…….2kickout.
Jesse Ventura: And Sigma gets a two count. Tony, what’s going on near the entranceway?
Tony Schiavone: What the hell, that’s Richard Clay and Midnight Mystery of Minipax. What the hell are they doing down here?
Jesse Ventura: Maybe they could be protecting Sigma and prove to him that they care.
Tony Schiavone: That may be true as look; Matthews and Valentine are being assaulted in the entranceway. Matthews gets put down by a Killionaire Krunch.
Jesse Ventura: And Midnight Mystery just delivered Midnight Madness onto Valentine. That just leaves Sigma and Mysth. And Sigma just hit a Reverse DDT on Mysth.
Tony Schiavone: Sigma has the situation well in hand, and Mystery and Clay just entered the ring. Sigma is a bit confused.
Sigma: What are you guys doing here?
Clay: We want to help you win. Let us help you.
Sigma: If you want to prove to me, Take this chair, and Whack him with it.
Tony Schiavone: Sigma looks like to be conducting traffic in the ring. He’s got Mysth up and Clay has a chair in his hand.
Jesse Ventura: Mysth has been beaten severely in this match, and this would seal the deal for Sigma and assure him victory.
Tony Schiavone: Richard Clay swings for the fences, MYSTH GETS OUT OF THE WAY AND CLAY SMASHES THE CHAIR INTO THE SIDE OF SIGMA’S HEAD!
Jesse Ventura: That is a big miscalculation on Clay’s part. Sigma had this match won, but he trusted Clay and he let him down. Now Mysth is going after Mystery.
Tony Schiavone: But of course he would go after Mystery, he’s been hounded by Minipax for the longest time and Mystery is their biggest member. And Sigma isn’t moving. He’s out like a light.
Jesse Ventura: Clay trying to go after Mysth, but Matthews leaps over the top rope and just blasts Clay with a forearm. It’s turned into a Pier 6 brawl all of a sudden.
Tony Schiavone: I can’t believe the mess we’re in right now. And Mysth just sent Mystery over the tope rope and Matthews has sent Clay to the outside as well.
Jesse Ventura: Neither of these guys care anymore because Matthews was attacked first by the Killionaire, and Mysth just plain hates Minipax. This has become a gigantic mess.
Tony Schiavone: The only two men left are Valentine and Sigma and Valentine is up and he’s dashing to the ring, slides underneath the bottom rope, runs AND HITS THE LIONSAULT! LIONSAULT CONNECTS!!! HE HAS THE COVER!
Ref, crowd and Tony Schiavone: 1……..2………3!!!!
Jesse Ventura: UNBELIEVABLE, TONY!!!
GMC: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner and NEWWWWWWWWWW EWT TOOLSHED CHAMPION, JOHN “THE LION” VALENTINE!!!
Tony Schiavone: VALENTINE DID IT!!! HE’S WON HIS FIRST PIECE OF EWT GOLD!!! ALL THE WAY FROM THE LEWISTON WRESTLING FEDERATION TO BECOMING A EWT CHAMPION!!!
Jesse Ventura: And there’s Veronica De Marco dashing to the ring and with her man. She now manages a world champion. We need to see this again. Clay has Mysth in his sights, but Mysth slips out and Sigma gets blasted. Valentine now sees the opportunity before him, so he takes full advantage and hits a picture perfect Lionsault for the 1-2-3 and he is the new EWT Toolshed champion.
Tony Schiavone: The happy couple in the ring, celebrating their first title in EWT, and they worked hard for it. Now they are heading to the back, probably waiting to be congratulated by the entire roster for winning back the Toolshed title. And Sigma is starting to stir.
Jesse Ventura: He can’t be happy with what just happened. The last image that he saw was Clay swinging the chair at him. And that cost him the title. There’s no other way going around it.
Tony Schiavone: Sigma is now on his knees and is on his feet. He’s asking the ref what happened. The ref is telling him exactly what happened.
Jesse Ventura: Sigma is not happy. Sigma just got told that Minipax screwed him out of the Toolshed Title. Sigma is now furious and is marching out of the ring and heading backstage.
Tony Schiavone: I think I know where he’s heading. Can we get a camera guy to follow him? We’ll be right back after this brief timeout.
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Post by J.D. Cooper on Jun 5, 2008 22:55:02 GMT -5
*We are taken to the small aircraft we were on earlier. JD Cooper is sitting towards the back of the plane, while the rest of the passengers are towars the front of the cabin. A female flight attendant comes back to Cooper, with a beverage on a tray.
Attendant: Mr....?
Cooper: You can call me Cooper. JD Cooper(he takes the drink).
Attendant: Mr. Cooper, the plane will be landing in Seattle shortly. I just got off the phone with someone on the ground. I can assure that all your demands will be met.
Cooper: All of them?
Attendant: Yes, all of them.
Cooper: The money?
Attendant: Yes, $200,000 in 20-dollar bills.
Cooper: The parachutes?
Attendant: Yes, and after we land and let the passangers off, we will refuel. Now, we just need to know, where are we going.
Cooper: Arizona. I have dealings with a man.
Attendant: Any place in specific?
Cooper: I will tell you on the next flight, my lady. Now if you'll excuse me...the plane is about to land, you said. It would be very...very unsafe for you and your passengers to no be in your seats.
*The passengers begin filing into their seats.
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Sigma: Current SRW Champ!
Dennis Stamp
Writes about wrestling, does videos about game shows, helps transpeople, loves baseball etc.
Posts: 4,525
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Post by Sigma: Current SRW Champ! on Jun 6, 2008 21:11:28 GMT -5
Sigma is Backstage and has had it with Minipax, now that they had cost him the EWT Toolshed Title.
Sigma: ONE! WHERE IN THE (bleep) ARE YOU, YOU (bleep)ING SON OF A BITCH! HOW DARE YOU SEND THOSE PATHETIC LITTLE TROLLS TO COST ME MY BELT! WELL, THEN IF YOU WON’T COME TO ME YOU (bleep)ING PILE OF GARBAGE, LET’S GO TO YOUR OFFICE AND I’LL JUST KICK YOUR (bleep)ING HEAD IN!
Sigma finds the office of Minpax and just smashes the door in.
Sigma: NOW WHERE THE (bleep) ARE YOU ONE! WELL, IF YOU WON’T COME OUT, I’LL JUST SEND A MESSAGE TO YOUR (bleep)ING NARCISSISTIC ASS! I DOUBT YOU NEED THIS SELF PORTRAIT! *smashes it to the ground* OR THIS $10,000 COMPUTER! *crashes it to the ground* OR THESE TAPES FULL OF ALL OF YOUR MATCHES! *breaks all of them into pieces* YOU CAN TAKE THE INGSOC CAPE YOU GAVE ME, AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS! *rips it up and throws it down* OR THIS SUIT OF ARMOR! *throws it down and it shatters*
One hears the destruction that is going in his office and runs to see who is doing it.
Sigma: NOW WHERE IN THE HELL IS THAT CONTRACT? *goes to filing cabinet* (bleep) IT’S LOCKED. AH HELL. *kicks it open* NOW, WHERE IS THAT THING?
One: *One sees Sigma doing the damage* Mr. Williams, explain your actions.
Sigma: YOU DECIDED TO (bleep) WITH MY MATCH, AND NOW YOU’RE GOING TO PAY FOR WHAT YOUR LACKEYS DID TO ME!
Sigma gives One the crippling knee to the stomach of One and brings him down.
Sigma: THAT’S JUST THE BEGINNING, NOW FEEL MY WRATH! *Sigma lifts One up and Powerbombs him through One’s solid oak desk. The desk just collapses and One coughs up blood* AND LOOK WHAT I FOUND. MY MINIPAX CONTRACT! *rips it up and shoves it in One’s mouth* I’M THROUGH WITH THIS TWO-BIT ORGANIZATION! I (bleep)ING QUIT!
As Sigma walks out and heads down the hall; Indigo, Clay and Midnight Mystery enter the destroyed office.
Indigo: What the hell?
Clay: Man, someone just destroyed this place. Who did this?
Mystery points at the cape and the contract in One’s mouth.
Indigo: What the…Oh no. *recognizes the cape*
Clay: I think we know who did this. BOSS!
Clay brings one to his feet and takes the contract out of One’s match.
Indigo: Sigma did this?
One: Indeed.
Clay: We need to regroup.
One: Not exactly. If he wants to leave Minipax, he can. But there will be consequences.
One collapses in a heap. Clay and Indigo carry him off.
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