Phosphor Glow
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Post by Phosphor Glow on Jan 7, 2008 20:49:30 GMT -5
I gotta wonder...do things really mean this much to people?
I just got to thinking about it a second ago because my grandpa, who I live with, just came in to ask me if my mom sent me anything for Christmas, to which I responded "no."
When she asked me what I wanted, as she does every year...I took forever to think of something because I'm not good at telling people to get me things...I eventually thought up a My Chemical Romance hoodie that may not even have been in stock if she tried to order it...and she may not have gotten the message by Christmas, as she doesn't log in to Myspace all that often, and that's where I sent the message. There could be a million reasons. But I honestly don't care.
But my grandpa gets all worked up over the fact that she didn't send me anything...and I just said "...I don't really care. It's just stuff."
I mean, she tells me that she loves me every time we talk, and even though she doesn't live too near me, and she didn't raise me...she is in my life, and she loves me. That matters to me way more than stuff does.
So...are any of you that concerned with material objects that you'd get mad about something like that that didn't even concern you? Just curious.
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HRH The KING
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Post by HRH The KING on Jan 7, 2008 20:53:24 GMT -5
I don't think anyone should give or receive presents for Christmas.
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Rube
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Post by Rube on Jan 7, 2008 21:12:58 GMT -5
Your grandpa's probably thinking it's the thought that counts, and your mom couldn't even be bothered to think about you.
Christmas is meaningless to me. I don't care if I get anything and I wouldn't even bother giving if it wouldn't hurt my peep's feelings.
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Post by ThereIsNoAbsurdistOnlyZuul on Jan 7, 2008 21:13:20 GMT -5
Which kind?
The "classic" materialism that comes from philosophy. Economic materialism. Dialectic materialism (which comes from Marxism). Or consumerism, which is what mainstream society often terms are "materialism."
Yes, this is nit picking, but these kinds of details are more important than we generally own up to. However, not to derail the topic, let's aim for the consumerism that the O.P., Tony, was discussing.
I would get upset in the situation, but not because I really care about material things, as other things can be inferred in you not getting a gift from someone during Christmas.
That said, yes, things really do matter that much. The Western World, by and large, has evolved to the point where "stuff" has become the measure of someone. Consider, what rite of passage do we have in America? Is it a woman's first menses? The first time you have sex? Graduation? Often time when asked people will say that getting your first car and/or learning to drive are some of the more important mile markers for their lives. The American Dream is generally sold as owning your own home, or at least having that certain level of financial prosperity.
So... why?
Well it's sort of a practical life application of philosophical materialism (and here is a simple definition from Wiki to help elaborate):
Matter, or material, is the only thing we can really measure or quantify. Try doing that with emotions or wisdom or spirituality. This is not a recent occurance, as we can trace this back to the tombs of Egyptian Pharoahs and before, as people were buried with their stuff. The accumulation of material wealth is something you can see, you can perceive. So in terms of valuing a person, or their feelings or thoughts about you, or anything else, when we can get a material equivalent then it serves as validation or watermark for something that really is immeasurable.
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R-Duke
AC Slater
... yeah.
Posts: 130
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Post by R-Duke on Jan 8, 2008 0:13:36 GMT -5
The best gift I got for Christmas was a home made t-shirt from my best friend. Because it meant something.
I've just grown out of having to get stuff all the time. I find my self spending more on a night out with friends than on new games or DVD's, which kind of bugs me in one way, as collecting hard to find DVD's were one of my main spare time activities before, but really... what matters is having fun and being with people you care about, and when you have that, buying something from a store just seems to mean less.
But then again, I feel like shit for letting my interest in movies and DVD's fade for the sake of other stuff. Sure, I spend alot of time with good friends, but I have this nasty habit of spending what I have and then some on ... eh... mood elevating substances. Not that we can't have a good time without, as we often do when broke, but if either one of us aren't....
It's a sad day when you realize the best times you have are never clean or sober. I miss caring about things actually... and I recently got in touch with a guy who's a major horror geek, and that brings me back to a time in my life where I would watch as much obscure cinema as I possibly could. So I thought about getting into it again... and then I went out, saw a couple of local punk bands, got drunk and ate pizza instead.
... I guess where I'm going with this is... well, being materialistic can be just fine. When I was geeking it up and seeking out films like Lucker, I wasn't in a good spot socially. so I needed something to keep me occupied. And I'm a geek at heart. All my friends know that. I tend to stray from the norm when it comes to what I find interesting. Be it my taste in film, my passion for wrestling or ... anything, really.
I'm going nowhere. Materialism you say? I don't give a shit about things anymore, because I don't need them when I can get drunk or high instead. I buy games, but they get traded in or sold when I'm done. I never buy DVD's anymore, because what I want to buy I would have to enjoy by myself, and that doesn't tempt me. I don't buy music, because I feel the value of CD's are questionable at best, and besides, I don't crap money. I don't buy anything these days, but still I'm broke, and I've got nothing sitting on my shelf to make me feel it's worth it.
Sigh. I miss the days when getting a brand new action figure from your parents meant the world and more. Now all I get is useless junk I don't need. Pointless gifts from people who don't really know me, but feel they have to give me something just because I'm sort of family. And then I'm supposed to feel bad because I didn't go out and buy some random crap and pretend anyone cares. I know I don't,
Really. My dad's girlfriend's sister and her husband, who I've maybe talked to a couple of times in the FOUR years gone since I moved in here, gave me a THERMOS GIFT SET, because obviously I needed that. Me being so in love with camping and all that crap.
I've ... gone completely off track here.
... (got too much on my mind to be able to be coherent. move on.)
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Post by willywonka666 on Jan 8, 2008 7:47:06 GMT -5
Well when it comes to Christmas, I usually have trouble coming up with ideas too, I don't think I deserve gifts and all really, but family insists. Thing is I didn't get hardly anything I asked for. So yea, I do look a gift horse in the mouth
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Post by Big BosskMan on Jan 8, 2008 8:08:04 GMT -5
I'm not gonna lie - I like getting and giving gifts.
But now that I am engaged, my new fiancee and I feel that the best things we can give her 4 nieces (15, 9, and two 7s) are our time.
They don't live too far away but when we visit, it's like mayhem when we come through the front door. Sometimes we're not even out of the car before they are swarming us.
I spent part of the Friday after Thanksgiving with one in my lap, helping her read a book - and that was way better than any gift I could have given or received.
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Phosphor Glow
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Is a real girl!
Posts: 19,873
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Post by Phosphor Glow on Jan 8, 2008 9:54:32 GMT -5
I'm not gonna lie - I like getting and giving gifts. But now that I am engaged, my new fiancee and I feel that the best things we can give her 4 nieces (15, 9, and two 7s) are our time. They don't live too far away but when we visit, it's like mayhem when we come through the front door. Sometimes we're not even out of the car before they are swarming us. I spent part of the Friday after Thanksgiving with one in my lap, helping her read a book - and that was way better than any gift I could have given or received. Well, don't get me wrong, I like getting gifts and all...I just don't take it as a big deal if someone doesn't get me something. Especially if I didn't ask for anything or they never got the message. I mean...I dunno, I just don't see it as that big of a deal. As I said...my mom loves me, she talks to me, she's in my life...that means more to me than anything you can buy.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Jan 8, 2008 10:02:47 GMT -5
Yeah im not gonna lie...my whole family, my fiance', and the people I surround myself with strive off materialism...hence the reason our apartment is flooded with Hollister clothes and other designer stuff neither one of us will wear again...Im a product of creation...
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Post by Loki on Jan 8, 2008 10:05:31 GMT -5
I'm not really obsessed with having stuff.
Mostly because I'm not making money, and besides, I have pretty much all that I may need. Food, clothes, tech stuff etc
Moreso, I tend to develop a bit of sense of guilt when I buy something I don't really need.
When relatives ask me "what do you want for Xmas/Bday?" I'm always in trouble finding a decent idea. This year my parents didn't get me "the big one", because I wasn't able to decide, so they went with clothes, and that's usually the best choice.
I kinda miss the time when I had a long long list of stuff to ask for.
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Post by Big BosskMan on Jan 8, 2008 10:21:15 GMT -5
I guess I have kind of grown out of the phase of putting together a list of what I'd like.
There are some things I'd really like to get (big screen TV, 360 or Wii) but other priorities (November wedding) kind of put things in perspective.
Right now, it is save, save, save the dough.
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Post by TRMcGillicutty on Jan 8, 2008 12:56:47 GMT -5
Money can't buy you happiness, but the stuff you buy sure can help. I'm a big "retail therapy" guy: I'm feeling bad, I go to Newbury Comics and I buy a DVD or something. Nothing too expensive...but it helps. I guess that counts?
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Post by big nasty on Jan 8, 2008 13:20:55 GMT -5
money cant buy happiness, but you can sure choose your own kind of misery.
and i agree with pushkilla, i sometimes feel bad that i didnt get my nieces/nephews the uber gift of the moment, but all they seem to want is for me to be around. its the great, having the best part of kids without any of the crap parts.
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Post by Shy Guy on Jan 8, 2008 13:22:10 GMT -5
i rank my friends on myspace on who gave me the coolest gift for christmas.
jokes! its not true.
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Mozenrath
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Post by Mozenrath on Jan 8, 2008 13:27:26 GMT -5
The thought does count, I think.
This year, I spent no money on Charlye.
I gave her a dog sweater for Jamie, a hand-me-down from Precious.
A guitar pick, since she's been wanting to start playing again.
A Canadian coin, since she likes foreign coins.
A Game Boy Color I didn't play anymore, since I have a DS.
And a goofy little fingerpuppet to make her laugh.
She loved it, and she said she could tell I knew her enough to always find something she liked. I can tell when she's being insincere, I've known her for years, and I could tell she was legitimately touched.
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Mozenrath
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Post by Mozenrath on Jan 8, 2008 13:29:23 GMT -5
Also, here's a quote I still love:
"People who say money can't buy happiness haven't heard of puppies."
Though I do laugh from Daniel Tosh's:
"They should say 'Money Can't buy happiness.... just kidding.' ", and his saying it's impossible to be sad on a jetski.
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Ace Diamond
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Post by Ace Diamond on Jan 8, 2008 13:30:32 GMT -5
I think commercial materialism has ruined any other forms of materialism. Why must we have specific days of the year where you must buy gifts for someone or you get shunned for not loving them enough? It's stupid.
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Post by Formerly the Trebek Guy on Jan 8, 2008 14:13:18 GMT -5
I have "breaks" in my user name because I love to rest; I think the hustle and bustle of consumerism/materialism robs from the treasure that is rest.
Yoda says: When you're centuries-old, you rest. You LUV it, you breathe and sleep with it!
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HoagieWithPastrami
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Post by HoagieWithPastrami on Jan 8, 2008 14:54:57 GMT -5
I like having stuff, but I'm not defined by the stuff I have nor do I define others by the stuff they have.
I will not harm or (proverbially) step on another person to get more stuff, nor will I outright steal somebody else's stuff.
I am generous with my stuff, and when I have the extra money, I enjoy giving stuff to other people that they might enjoy as well.
So do I like material objects? Well, I guess everybody has material objects they like and enjoy, so yes. And I feel that there's no crime in that.
The difference is that there are people that feel that material objects make you better than someone else (note: these people usually have low self esteems in general), and therefore collect these material things just to show off, almost in a competition just to make themselves feel like they're "better" than other people. This is very warped and wrong.
And whether you have material possessions because you enjoy them (not a bad reason), or just because you think it makes you better to have them (bad reason), when you harm and/or disrespect others in the pursuit of such material possessions, that's always bad.
I dunno. Where I came from, materialism wasn't very big. Among the "cool" crowd at my school, there were upper-class, middle-class, and even downright poor kids. It didn't seem to matter in the area where I was from. In fact, sometimes it was the rich kids that would be ostracized for acting like rich jerks. Probably because I came from a predominantly working class town in Pennsylvania.
When I moved to Tampa, I was kind of taken back. It was your typical, movie, situation where the rich kids bragged about their cars and houses to everyone (something you don't really do where I was from, even if you did have those things), and everyone thought they were awesome because of it. I just thought to myself at the time, "Wow, these kids would get their asses kicked for that where I'm from!"
Just a totally different mentality towards "materialism" (or, as someone correctly called it, consumerism) where I'm from compared to where I'm at now.
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Post by Clash, Never a Meter Maid on Jan 8, 2008 15:13:02 GMT -5
When other people's birthdays and Christmas come around, I tend to fret more on what I'm going to get other people.
I don't care as much about receiving as when I was younger, and that becomes more the case as I age.
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