|
Post by dorf on May 10, 2005 21:02:39 GMT -5
shoot.
|
|
|
Post by Ultimo Chocula on May 10, 2005 21:20:45 GMT -5
Bang!
|
|
|
Post by THE Dinobot on May 11, 2005 3:05:33 GMT -5
OUCH!!!
|
|
|
Post by Baixo Astral on May 11, 2005 5:29:48 GMT -5
Work
|
|
|
Post by Toom E. Guci on May 11, 2005 8:36:10 GMT -5
Remember folks, Heiden-dorf versus Dave Davies in a Championship versus Cheese Sandwich Match today.
|
|
ape
Unicron
Aunt Blabby Tells All.
bea wants all you sweathogs to take a look at what a REAL man is supposed to look like
Posts: 3,223
|
Post by ape on May 11, 2005 9:22:22 GMT -5
hey uncle toomi....if heiden-dorf loses...can....can i have his cheese sandwich?
|
|
|
Post by The Lach is very tired on May 11, 2005 11:02:12 GMT -5
*SHOCKWAVE Spaz's music hits & he makes his way to the ring.*
S: I am here to issue an open challenge to the entire EWT locker room. If anyone back there thinks that they have what it takes to get this title from around my waist book the match & I will show up & beat your ass back to the Stone Age. I don't care if you have wrestled one match or 1000 matches in the EWT I don't care if you are 150 lbs or 450 lbs I will beat you. I don't care if you are a Technical Wrestling Machine or A Power Wrestler I will beat you. Book the match & I will beat you.
*Spaz throws down the mic & starts to walk away, but he then turns & comes back.*
S: Just one more thing, if anyone accepts my challenge & I beat them as long as I am OX Division Champion they will NEVER get another shot at this title.
*Spaz leaves for real this time.*
|
|
|
Post by Toom E. Guci on May 11, 2005 18:53:17 GMT -5
*Toomi Bischoff walks out from the back as Spaz stands in the ring.* Spaz, Spaz, Spaz, I like your little challenge. And that's why I have come up with an idea. And Spaz, this idea concerns YOU!! You say you equal ratings. You say the fans came to see you. Let's see how true that is on Wednesday, May 18th, when EWT has their second ever weekday pay per view. And thanks you you, Spaz, we are calling it Stone Age And Spaz, we are going to do the Spaz Challenge as the Main Event of that pay per view. And your opponent, to prove your point, will not be announced until the time of the match. So, be prepared Spaz. Because you got a week left before EWT returns to pay per view... ON YOUR SHOULDERS!!!
|
|
jzbadblood
Unicron
Christ, man. Can't you see what's happening? Can't you read between the lines?
Posts: 3,052
|
Post by jzbadblood on May 11, 2005 19:22:11 GMT -5
Jz walks into Toomi's office and an errie silence is heard through out the building.
Jz: Where did everybody go?
Toomi: I don't know damn it! Hey! Where the hell were you!?
Jz: After Marcel died I didn't know if I wanted to be a wrestler anymore...
Toomi: So you've come to tell me you're done?
Jz: No, I've came to tell you that not only do I want to stay in this business, but I want a spot on the card at Stone Age.
Toomi: Well...
Jz: I'll be a curtain jerker if you want me to, just give Jz a spot on the card.
Jz walks out of Toomi's office.
|
|
|
Post by invaderdave on May 11, 2005 19:58:09 GMT -5
"Hei-den Hei-den Dorf. Hei-den Hei-den Dorf"
Heiden-dorf makes his way down the to the ring. He cuddles a cheese sandwhich close to his chest, and when in the ring, carefully hands it to the referee, who, a little confused and embarrased, raises it in the air for the crowd to see, and hands it to the time keeper.
Hd: Don't eat...
Timekeeper: Yes sir.
Heiden-dorf's music is replaced by "Epic" by Faith No More. David Davies comes out, stepping in time with the music. Dave wears the Tri-State title around his waist, and hands it to the ref, who raises it in the air, and then hands it to the time keeper.
Howie Pinkle: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match is a Sandwhich vs. Title match! Introducing first, defending his Cheese Sandwhich, weighing in at 311 pounds, hailing from Filthadelphia, Pennsylvania, HEI-DEN-DORF! And introducing next, defending his Tri-State title, weighing in at 211 pounds, and hailing from La Crosse, Wisconsin, DA-VID DA-VIES!
The bell ring, and the two circle eachother. Dave tries to lock up, but Heiden-dorf backs off. Dave goes for another lock up, but Heiden-dorf backs off again. Dave tries once more for the lock, but Heiden-dorf begins firing punches to Dave's face. After five or six punches, Heiden-dorf rears back for a big one, which Dave ducks. Dave spins H-dorf around, and grabs his arm, sending him across the ring with a deep armdrag. H-dorf rushes at, and Dave meets him with another deep armdrag, which Dave finishes up with a Cross Armbreaker. H-dorf scrambles out of it, and goes to the corner to recover.
Dave follows him, but Heiden-dorf suddenly grabs Dave by the head and rams it into the turnbuckle. H-dorf then puts Dave in a powerslam position, and rams him into the turnbuckles. Keeping his hold, Heiden-dorf powerslams Dave to the mat. H-dorf goes for the pin, but only gets a two count. H-dorf forces Dave down, and pins him again, only getting a two count for that as well. Dave fights his way up, throwing punches at Heiden-dorf's stomach, and hits the ropes. H-dorf ducks Dave's first approach, but Dave does a flip, catching his legs on the ropes, bounces back to his feet, and hits Heiden-dorf with a flying back elbow. Dave then puts Heiden-dorf in a standing crossface, but H-dorf hits Dave in the chin, sending Dave rolling away. Heiden-dorf gets up and grabs Dave by the hair, and tosses him across the ring. Heiden-dorf follows up by picking Dave up by the hair again, and rears back to punch. Dave catches the punch, and hits H-dorf in the face himself. Heiden-dorf stops that nonsense by punching Dave in the face hard, and rears back for another shot.
Dave drops under it, and hooks Heiden-dorf's arm in a chicken wing. Dave grabs Heiden-dorf's other arm, and places that in a chicken wing as well. Dave then pulls back, and hits the Tiger Suplex. The crowd pops, and Dave holds onto Heiden-dorf in the chicken wing hold, so as to have him in a pinning predicament. Dave only gets a two count. Dave sends Heiden-dorf to the ropes, and hits him with a front drop kick, sending him over the top. Dave steps onto the apron, and waits for Heiden-dorf to stand. Once Heiden-dorf turns around, Dave leaps off the apron, hitting the Shining Wizard on H-dorf. Dave climbs the the top turnbuckle, stretches out his arms, and puts his hand in a praying position. Dave leaps into the air, looking to hit the Diving Headbutt, but Heiden-dorf moves, and Dave's head hits nothing but floor.
Heiden-dorf capitalizes by stomping on Dave's head, picking him up, and slamming his head in the guard rail. H-dorf then tosses Dave into the ring, and follows him in. Heiden-dorf stomps on Dave's head again, and picks him up. Heiden-dorf sets Dave up for a powerbomb, but Dave lifts up as if he's going for a back body drop, but grabs onto Heiden-dorf's legs. Dave then quickly drops to his knees, hitting the Axe Guillotine Driver. Dave goes for a cover, but only gets a two count. Dave gets up, and pulls at his hair in frustration. Dave pulls up Heiden-dorf and whips him into a corner. Dave lifts him up so he sits on the top. Dave then goes to the apron, punches H-dorf in the side of the face a few times, and climbs up, perching himself on Heiden-dorf's shoulders. Dave then spins around and tries to hit a huricanrana, but Heiden-dorf clings to Dave. Heiden-dorf pulls Dave up, jumps off the second rope, and slams Dave down hard with a powerbomb, and cover him. 1...2...3!
Pinkle: Winner of this match, and NEW Tri-State Champion, Heiden-dorf!
Heiden-dorf gets up and accepts his new title and his sandwhich with big time happiness. Heiden-dorf takes a bite out of the sandwhich, and tries to take a bite out of the title, to no avail. Heiden-dorf shrugs and walks to the back. Dave now sits up, and looks around.
Dave: No way. God...DAMN IT!
Dave gets up, and refuses the ref's help. He walks to the back, holding his head, and disappears behind the curtains. He re-appears with poor Erik Watts, whom he whips down to the ring. Watts trips half-way, and rolls the rest of the ramp down to the ring. Dave picks Watts up, and throws him into the ring. Dave grabs a chair, and tosses that in too. Watts is up by this point. Dave boots him in the stomach, and hits him with a Cradle Piledriver onto the chair. Dave then rolls out of the ring, pulls a table out from underneath, and slides that in, following it. Dave supports the table against a corner, and picks up Watts. Dave puts Watts in a full nelson, and yanks him near to the table. Dave then sends him over with a Dragon Suplex, which breaks the table. Dave rolls out of the ring, and makes his way to the back, still a bit angry even after letting out his anger on Erik. We fade to commercial...
|
|
|
Post by Toom E. Guci on May 11, 2005 20:08:30 GMT -5
Excellent match Dave. Heavyweight Champion: Addy Bomb
Tri State Champion: Heiden-dorf
OX Division Champion: Spaz
Tag Team Champions: jzbadblood & psychoapeguy
Girl Next Door Champion: Dr. Hillary Clitton
|
|
|
Post by Moxie loves Natalie on May 11, 2005 22:45:44 GMT -5
<Moxie knocks on Toomi Bischoff's Office, and pushes the door open. He stand there alone, without Money, Inc. >
TB: Oh, what do you want?
M: yeah, I don't ask for much anymore, but i'd really like a match for Stone Age. I know it's rather early, but i think I can be a great help in reforming the EWT.
TB: Alright. I'll look into it.
M: Thanks.
<Moxie heads out of the door>
|
|
|
Post by Ultimo Chocula on May 11, 2005 23:49:46 GMT -5
("Poor And Wierd" pumps over the sound system as Ultimo Chocula appears looking very new wave. Skinny tie, checkered Vans, 3-D glasses, that whole bit. He makes his way to the ring with the Gene Rayburn Memorial belt draped over his shoulder. Once he gets in the ring he takes the mic and the music dies down.)
UC: "What's up, kitties?"
(nothing.......)
UC: "I know a lot of you out there are going through Ultimo withdrawls, but don't worry! I'll be making my glorious return soon! Not only will I come back and beat up nimrods, not only will I defend this prestigous belt, and not only will I put on matches that most scientists will deem impossibly brilliant, but I will do it at the next PPV (not the forum member) Stone Age! The question remains, which caveman will it be that gets clubbed in the noggin? Psycho Ape Face? Addy Bum? El UnorigiNyrdos? Billy Uberdork? Fred Flintstone? I don't know! And quite frankly, I don't care! Nope! So Tooms, throw anyone you want my way! I'm feeling unfulfilled since we've been on hiatus and I'm aching for a breaking. May 19th! Learn how to write and mark it on your calenders! Chocula rules your face! Peace!"
(UC struts around the ring displaying his cardboard belt before making his way to the back. You can hear a woman in the crowd saying to her boyfriend, "Who was that turd?")
|
|
|
Post by garyhartsgoatee on May 12, 2005 0:55:56 GMT -5
*The Pza is seen backstage with color commentator/ painter Bob Hoss*
Hoss: So Pza... you claim that the politics backstage are ruining the business...
Pza: Look Bob... when talented guys are held back and kept in the mid card so the bigger, richer guys can keep their spot in thie company... someone needs to say something! This used to be about going out to the ring and putting on a match for the fans that makes them go home thinking "i got my moneys worth tonight!" but no, it has become a business of who can be the bigger draw... who can put someone through the most tables... who can create the most marketable catchphrase... who can parade their fake-ass belt around, insulting the intellegence of the fans... this business has become a disgrace... but i am here to turn it around! im not here to make money... im not here to spout whatever the boss wants me to... im here to put on matches that the fans will remember when they go home... im here to give all of the people out there in the seats what they came here and spent their hard earned money to see! WRESTLING! NOT ENTERTAINMENT! BUT WRESTLING!!!
Hoss: Thank you verry much Pza
Pza: no... thank you.
*Pza leaves as Bob Hoss begins to paint a "happy little tree"*
|
|
|
Post by Toom E. Guci on May 12, 2005 8:37:22 GMT -5
*Pza is leaving the area when he bumps into Toomi Bischoff backstage.*
Well, you don't like how things are around here? Then why don't you do something about it? Pack your bags Pza & get ready. because, you're going to Stone Age to put up or shut up.
AM I CLEAR?
|
|
|
Post by Poker Joker on May 12, 2005 9:29:48 GMT -5
*The scene opens up backstage where Billy "The Virgin" Ubermark is standing in dressing room. He's dressed in his street atire, and carrying his wrestling gear in his white gym bag. Billy puts his gym bag down, pulls a cell phone out of the side pocket, and dials up the Commissioner's office. He waits for someone to answer, but only gets the answering machine, so he has to leave a message.*
*BU*: Commissioner ToomiBischoff. Its Billy Ubermark. I'm sure you're actually IN your office, but you just decided not to answer your phone when you saw it was me calling. When are you going to simply accept the fact that, even though I'm a virgin, I'm the best guy you've got in the ring? Well, nevermind that. Right now, I've got a bigger fish to fry. And a bigger BIGGOT, at that. Rumors are flying that the Ex-Champ.... and current Chump... Moxie wants a match for EWT "Stone Age." Well, since I've got some unfinished business with that biggoted baffoon, how about you give him his match.... and make it against ME?! He cost me my match against Mprox, so I cost him his Tri-State Championship. The way I see it, we're even..... but I don't like being even! I'm better than Moxie, and I intend to prove it! Think about it for a while Commish. I'm sure you'll make the right choice.
*Billy hangs up the phone and slides it back into his gym bag. *
|
|
|
Post by Poker Joker on May 12, 2005 9:33:22 GMT -5
BK: Dave... Excellent sig! Thank God you used the cool "Lions" Voltron. If you'd have put that stupid one that was made up of the vehicles, I'd have had to hurt you.
|
|
|
Post by invaderdave on May 12, 2005 9:40:54 GMT -5
BK: Dave... Excellent sig! Thank God you used the cool "Lions" Voltron. If you'd have put that stupid one that was made up of the vehicles, I'd have had to hurt you. Bk: How can you hurt me when I'm Voltron, PJ? Didn't think o' that one, did ya'? Kayfabe: Dave walks into Toomi's office. Toomi: Let me guess, you want a spot on Stone Age. Dave: Duh. Toomi: And what would you like to do? Dave: Anything! I'll take a shot at any title, or I'll do anything on the card, I just want to hurt somebody. Toomi: What's up with you? Dave: I'm pissed, dammit! I lost my title to a sandwhich eating freak! Toomi: Allright, calm down. Take a mydol. I'll see what I can do. Dave: Good. Dave storms off. ***
|
|
|
Post by Poker Joker on May 12, 2005 9:57:09 GMT -5
BK: I can't hurt you if you're the LIONS Voltron. True. But if you're the stupid VEHICLES Voltron..... that, my friend, would be a different story, because the vehicle Voltron was weak (in more ways than one).
Because not many people know it, but I am actually Omega Supreme!
|
|
|
Post by invaderdave on May 12, 2005 10:45:13 GMT -5
BK: I can't hurt you if you're the LIONS Voltron. True. But if you're the stupid VEHICLES Voltron..... that, my friend, would be a different story, because the vehicle Voltron was weak (in more ways than one). Because not many people know it, but I am actually Omega Supreme! Hey Joker... FORM BLAZING SWORD!
|
|