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Post by Poker Joker on May 12, 2005 13:57:55 GMT -5
BK: Transform and roll out!! ;D .... though I'm still gonna get my ass kicked by the Lions
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Post by garyhartsgoatee on May 12, 2005 14:48:55 GMT -5
*pza and toomi are still backstage face to face*
Pza: you want me to "put up or shut up" as you say? well bring it on... who do you wnat me to face? which corrupt, money grubbing loser should i face? ubermark? moxie? apeguy? i dont care!!! im going to beat the marketability out of whoever you put in front of me!!!
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Post by Bobafett on May 12, 2005 15:25:57 GMT -5
Fett bursts into Toomis office)
Fett Hey..wheres A-bomb..the guy too scared rto face me? scare I'll win the title?
(toomi goes to answer)
Fett: just book the damn match ass clown
(Fett leaves)
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Post by Toom E. Guci on May 12, 2005 20:38:04 GMT -5
*Toomi walks out behind fett.*
fett, fett, baby...listen to me. We're to busy right now. See, we got this pay per view coming up & for that, the Heavyweight Championship takes the backseat. I wanna see how fans take to the OX Division Championship, so that's the main event for Wednesday.
But fett, you'll have your moment. You'll have your chance. Cool?
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Post by THE Dinobot on May 13, 2005 0:12:27 GMT -5
BK: PJ and Dave, stop being dorks....oh, nevermind, my mame is Dinobot.
David Adams' been looking around all day for Toomi, and hasn't had any luck, so goes into his office, and leaves a note on his desk.
The note reads:
"Let me tell you something, I absolutely hate it when you don't have a match booked with me yet. And not only do i hate it, all of my non-existent fans hate it too. And I've heard you have another pay-per-view coming up, and I'm pretty sure, unless you hurry and book me, this thing will get lower buyrates then the last few you've put on. So, do you're job right for once, and book me, because a talent like me only comes along once in a life time, because, like father like son."
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Post by The Lach is very tired on May 13, 2005 1:39:00 GMT -5
*Spaz is standing backstage with Hoss Matthews.*
Hoss: I gather you know about you match for Stone Age?
S: of course, it's about time the guys that run this little dog & pony show realise that Spaz is where the real talent is, that Spaz is the future of this company & of this business as a whole. Toomi has finally made a smart decision. Stone Age will be the best PPV since Chamber From Hell, the last PPV I main evented.
Hoss: Are you worried that you won't know who your opponent will be until they come to the ring for the match?
S: Why would I be worried? I am the best here in the EWT nobody here is good enough to take this title from me. After Stone Age I will still be the OX Division Champion. No doubt about it.
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Post by *"@-BoMb" R.I.P Deus/Dinobot on May 13, 2005 9:44:52 GMT -5
*A-Bomb walks down to the ring in his ring attire and a mic.* Addy:I'am opening a challenge to anybody in the back that thinks they can hang with the champ. *Just then Paul London runs down to the ring. The ref rings the bell and the two lock up. Addy whips London over with a side headlock. London flips Addy over into a pin. Addy reverses with a pin of his own for a 1 count. London leaps up off the mat and whips Addy into the ropes. Paul lands a hurricurana on the Beta Male and follows up with a standing moonsault. Addy pushes Paul off of his chest. London lands on his feet. Paul goes for a spinning heel kick. Addy catches him and tosses him into a fallaway slam. The Beta Male jumps onto the top rope and lands a springboard moonsault. London kicks out at 1 1/2. Addy picks London up and is met with elbows to the gut. London grabs Addy for a spinning DDT. Addy reverses with a overhead belly to belly suplex. London lands on his feet runs towards the ropes and springboards into a hurricurana. The Beta Male leaps up....London runs towards the ropes and hits the dropsault and applies a boston crab. Bomb is able to grab the bottom rope to break the hold. Paul begins to stomp Addy's left leg. Addy rolls out of the ring to catch a breather. London hits a running flip tope' on the Beta Male and tosses him into the ring. Paul waits for Addy to get to his feet and springboards off of the top rope. Addy catches London and slams him with a Bomb Drop. Addy leaps on the top rope for a 450. London gets his knees up. Addy rolls through on his feet. Addy grabs London for a German Suplex. London rolls through into a reverse X-Factor. London climbs the top rope and jumps off with a Shooting Star Press. The ref counts 1...2...no he kicks out. London motions for the Beta Male to get up and goes for a roundhouse. Addy ducks and reverse with a pumphandle driver into a pin. 1...2...thr...oh no he kicked out. Addy is getting frustrated at this point. He picks London up and whips him into a corner. Bomb charges over towards and is met with a boot to the face. London hits a blockbuster on the Beta Male and holds Addy in chokehold. After a few seconds on the mat Addy muscles up and flips Paul off of his shoulder. London reverses it into a neckbreaker and twists around for a suplex. He is too weak to do so and Addy changes it into the Betamizer(suplex into STO that Matt Morgan stole from me ). But only gets a 2 and 3/4 count. Addy bends down to apply a submission hold and is caught with a kick to the head. Addy is knocked loopy. London hits a flatliner on Addy and motions for him to get up. London locks in his unprettier type finisher...Addy reverses it into the BetaDriver(Leaping Double Underhook Tombstone) and covers London 1...2....3.
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Post by invaderdave on May 13, 2005 13:40:32 GMT -5
bk: Since I didn't do a bio, here. HAVE IT.
David Davies Height: 5'10'' (lie) Weight: 211 lbs (lie) Age: 19 (also lie) Build: Slightly beefy/kinda chunky Style: Stiff/high risk/high impact Theme: "Epic" by Faith No More Finisher: Cradle Piledriver, Epic Conclusion (Corkscrew 450) Favorite Moves: The following suplex's (Tiger, Dragon, Aztec, German, Sleeper Hold), Praying Diving Headbutt Quick Bio: Dave made his appearance into EWT Rings in the beginning of last September. He was travelling with his friends, the Brian Gold Experience. Toomi McMahon (his name then) disbanded the group and sent all but Dave to WCF where they floundered in the mid-card. Dave has so far held the Stable Titles, the OX Division Title, and the Tri-State Division title.
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Post by Bobafett on May 13, 2005 15:33:32 GMT -5
(Afte A-Bomb has pinned London..Fett comes out and ..POUNCES on A-Bomb then climbs to the top rope to hit the DEATH STAR PRESS..Fett gets up and dusts himself off then grabs the mic)
Fett: The title may take a backseat at this next PPV..but that don't stop me sending a message to you A-Bomb, enjoy youre time as champ, cos when I'm finished with you..thats all you'll ever have, memories, I vow never to stop pursuing you till I have that title around my waist, you see, you are nothing, nobody..me, it is my destiny to be the greatest wrestler in the history of this promotion..(fett cups his ear) you hear that A-bomb, its the sound of inevitability, the sound of you falling from grace, the sound of an EX champion..the sound of a loser..the sound of YOU!!!!!!!!!!!.
(Fett throws the mic down and exits the arena as we fade to black)
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Post by obi on May 14, 2005 5:28:53 GMT -5
Breaking news:
The body we thought was Obi's was not actually Obi's. It just had obi's teeth in it. theres some weird crap going on here, as many people have spotted obi working in the local fish and chip shop. lets hope this doesnt all end in a vince-russo-esque swerve...
BK: Y'all know its gonna end in a vinnie russo-esque swerve ;D
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Post by invaderdave on May 14, 2005 21:39:00 GMT -5
Commercial: Announcer: The Dangerous David Davies could have been an Olympian. But instead he chose to stay in Wisconsin and train rather than move to Washington. In just under a year, he's made a name for himself with his high risk and high impact style. Now you can relive his most deadly moments with DANGER: David Davies. Travel back in time and see David's earlier matches in Japan, and with the Brian Gold Experience. Watch as we move and view his rise in EWT. Match listings for DVD: The Cheesehead vs. Vader The Cheesehead vs. Jushin Lyger David Davies and Brian Gold vs. Ian Zidane and Mervin Richard in a Damsel in Distress Match David Davies and Izzy Garvin vs. Count Steven and Janus in a Back to School Match David Davies vs. Sabu - Stretcher Match David Davies vs. Dorf - Hell in a Cell David Davies vs. Dorf - Hell in a Cell II David Davies vs. HM Myles David Davies vs. Amazing Red vs. HM Myles vs. Spaz - Ultimate OX DANGER: David Davies; Get yours today!
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Post by Ultimo Chocula on May 14, 2005 22:03:56 GMT -5
BK: FYI, Olympia is in Washington.
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Post by invaderdave on May 14, 2005 22:05:24 GMT -5
Bk: G-Dammit, I KNEW it. FIXED.
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Post by dorf on May 15, 2005 8:40:59 GMT -5
*promo airs*
Dorf: It's nice to be back on the air...so much rehab this week. With all the rehab toward the injuries, I really didn't do anything the whole week. So, all my fans out there...I am sad to say I'm only 25% healed. I know most of you out there think that is a bad thing, but for me, it's not. Last week, I was only 15% healed, so 10% to me is a big difference.
*throughout the paragraph, the crowd boos*
Dorf: Don't worry, I am not delayed on returning...all I want is a safe and secure return. And let me say one more time...whoever is world champ in about 2 and a half months time will get their just do, as I would tribute the victory to my deceased, best friend, Marcel Adams. On one laste note, I say congratulations to Heiden-Dorf for the EWT Tri-State title over my long foe, David Davies. For his victory, all of you will hear Heiden-Dorf's theme song...RIGHT NOW!
*Heiden-Dorf theme plays as the tv slowly fades into commercial mode*
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Post by heidendorf on May 15, 2005 9:03:54 GMT -5
*promo airs* Dorf: It's nice to be back on the air...so much rehab this week. With all the rehab toward the injuries, I really didn't do anything the whole week. So, all my fans out there...I am sad to say I'm only 25% healed. I know most of you out there think that is a bad thing, but for me, it's not. Last week, I was only 15% healed, so 10% to me is a big difference. *throughout the paragraph, the crowd boos* Dorf: Don't worry, I am not delayed on returning...all I want is a safe and secure return. And let me say one more time...whoever is world champ in about 2 and a half months time will get their just do, as I would tribute the victory to my deceased, best friend, Marcel Adams. On one laste note, I say congratulations to Heiden-Dorf for the EWT Tri-State title over my long foe, David Davies. For his victory, all of you will hear Heiden-Dorf's theme song...RIGHT NOW! *Heiden-Dorf theme plays as the tv slowly fades into commercial mode* Commercial: BUY DAVID DAVIES 2-DISC DVD SPECIAL EDITION SET NOW OR ELSE HE'LL GIVE YA A NOOGIE!!! *returns from commercial as Heiden-Dorf comes down into the ring. He gets into the ring no problem and grabs a mic from the timekeeper* Heiden-Dorf: (grunts) Me...champion. Me never...thought of...making it. With help...from my...CHEESE SANDWICH...manager, me thought...me crappy wrestler. Me will...defend the belt...everytime me...wrestle. No matter what...Toomi says...me belt goes...24/7. No rules...no problem...just need...a referee. *Heiden-Dorf leaves*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on May 15, 2005 19:09:58 GMT -5
*Toomi Bischoff is sitting in his office going over some final details for Wednesday's pay per view. Addy Bomb walks in.*
Addy: You wanted to see me?
TB: Yes, I did. Look, I hope you don't hold any resentment for me not placing you on the card this Wednesday?
Addy: Look, I am not a damn closet champion. And fettster wants to keep sticking his nose in my business.
TB: Yes, fettster. Look, don't worry. fettster will get his this Wednesday at the pay per view. Don't you worry. You will get his hands on him this week. I promise you that.
Addy: What about the title? Since when do I, the World Champion, need to take a backstage to a championship named after a damn animal?
TB: It's not named after an animal. Remember, OX Division is shortened from the original name of LightHeavyweight OxyMoron Championship. And you're not taking a backstage. In fact, I need your help regarding Wednesday. You have an old friend I need you to get in touch with.
Addy: Are you bringing back who I think you're bringing back?
TB: That depends....are you willing to help?
Addy: The guys in the back won't like it. He was a great man once, but we haven't seen him in a long time. Not to mention my history with him.
TB: Right now, I don't care what the guys in the back think. He gets buyrates & once the rumor mill hits, fans will buy a weekday pay per view just to see his return.
Addy: You sure about this? Think he'll cooperate?
TB: If he doesn't, then you will have some fun on Wednesday & you know how to have fun?
Addy: yeah, me & Stevie roleplay & we pretend we're...
TB: NOT THAT KIND OF FUN!!!
Addy: Oh, you mean....
TB: Say it, just once...I love it when ya say it.
Addy: The poooooooooooooooooooooooooounce...exclamation point.
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Post by Ultimo Chocula on May 15, 2005 19:14:34 GMT -5
Gorilla Monsoon: "Welcome back to Sunday Night Heap, folks! We've got another match lined up and ready to go! Take it away, Lillian!"
("Loser" by Beck starts playing as a generic jobber makes his way down the ramp)
Lillian Garcia: "This next match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from.....wherever...it doesn't really say here, Tom Stone!"
(Tom Stone gets in the ring and does a lame fist pump since even he knows he's the lamest ever. "Poor And Wierd" pumps out the PA as the crowd groans in unison.)
Garcia: "And his opponent, from the home of the Jail Blazers, Portland Oregon. He is the Gene Rayburn Memorial champion (I'm sorry, I have to say that).....Ultimo Chocula!"
(UC walks down the ramp making gestures to various fans in the crowd. He gets in the ring and holds up his phony belt like it's a real accomplishment. Just then Tom Stone runs up from behind with an ax handle and the bellrings. Stone stays on top with a few punches then hits the ropes and goes for a clothesline, but UC ducks and superkicks Stone right in the back of the head. Stone hits the deck but staggers up and is greeted by a spinning back heel kick that knocks him down again. UC is po'ed and starts wailing on Stone with a series of stomps and three hard elbow drops. UC sends Stone into the ropes and lays him out with a turnaround spinebuster. UC hits a standing moonsault, goes for the pin, but pulls Stone up after two. UC pitches Stone head first over the top rope to the outside. He hits the opposite ropes and launches himself out of the ring and hits the Cannonball Run plancha. Still peeved, UC motions that he's going to end it, then gives Stone the Sugar Fix DDT on the steel ramp, knocking Stone out flatter than a mackeral. UC then throws Stone back in the ring, puts his pinkie on Stone's nose, and pins him easily.)
Garcia: "Here is your winner...Ultimo Chocula!"
(UC picks Stone up, throws him out of the ring, then takes the mic.)
UC: "Who was that nimrod I just kicked the s*** out of? Who cares? Can I get some real competition around here? Seriously! I've opened pickle jars harder than that wimp! I'm the Gene Rayburn Memorial champ, that means I'm the coolest sumb*** in this entire rotten fed. Now I've heard some guys in the back are grumbling about my belt and how awesome it is and how bad they wish they had it. I just got one thing to say about that, TOUGH! If you don't like it, try and take it! I dare you! I double dare you! Come and get it! Chocula rules, Fred Durst drools! I'm out of here!"
edit: I know we're a fun, joke thread...but please don't type around the filter. thanks
"Sorry!" UC
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Post by Moxie loves Natalie on May 15, 2005 19:44:23 GMT -5
<The cameras come into the dim locker room to see Moxie sitting on a bench, in full wrestling garb, with a white towel over his head.>
Moxie: It's funny. Actually, hystarical! Imagine, Heiden-dorf, as EWT Tri-State Champion! Someone who can barely get a 1, 2, 3, pin... Hell, someone who probably can't even count to 3, as Tri-State Champion.
But, I don't blame booking, I don't even blame Dave Davies for losing it. Shit, I like Dave Davies... He helped bring the best out of me. But that's not the point... there is only one person to blame for the atrocity of a man such as Heiden-Dorf as Tri-State Champion.
That man..
is you, Billy Ubermark. The King of Playboy, the master of the rod palm, the master of his, one, and only, domain. I don't hate you cause your a virgin... <scoffs>
I HATE YOU BECAUSE YOU MAKE A MOCKERY OF ALL THAT I AM! I'VE BUSTED MY ASS FOR THIS COMPANY MORE TIMES THEN YOU'VE BUST A NUT LOOKING AT THAT ROLLED UP, CRUSTY, 1985 EDITION PLAYBOY!
<Moxie settles down again>
but now Billy, now is the time for me, you may have cost me my precious Tri-State Title, but there are bigger fish to fry. First one up, a sturgeon... erm virgin.... named Billy Ubermark.
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Post by Toom E. Guci on May 15, 2005 19:57:32 GMT -5
This Wednesday marks the Return of EWT to pay per view. Everyone is expected to be there, in attendance whether booked or not. A major announcement as well as the possible return of one of Extreme Wrestlecrap Threaderation's missing superstars will take place this Wednesday, live at Stone Age. Those of you who wish to compete this Wednesday, please bring your gear with you. This is the first time EWT will hold a pay per view with an announced line-up & if all goes well, it won't be the last.
Everyone needs to be in attendance to join EWT as we round the corner for a history making event called Stone Age.
Thank you Toomi Bischoff CEO
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Post by Moxie loves Natalie on May 15, 2005 20:09:42 GMT -5
New Bio for Moxie
Name: Moxie Gender: Male Height: 6'2 Weight: 212lbs Build: Average/muscular Wrestling Style: Mat/Submission Wrestling Attire: Grey pants, Black Belt, Blue Boots Age: 23 Affiliation: None atm. Finisher: Modified Rings of Saturn/camel clutch, (opponent lies on stomach with arms out, like a T, Moxie wraps his right arm underneath his opponent's right shoulder, and locks in a half nelson, while his left arm goes over his opponent's left arm, and to his back, then grasps both hand, and pulls back on the arms, sitting on their back) Favorite Moves: Cattle Mutilation, Rings of Saturn, "Quick Fix" DDT (Springboard moonsault reverse DDT).
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