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Post by dorf on May 29, 2005 22:13:55 GMT -5
Classic imo: 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all throughout Iraq, Not a wrestler was stirring, not even EWT personnel; The stockings were hung on the ring with care, for hoping St. Toomi would soon be there; The wrestlers were all together, tightly in their locker room, with visions of Christmas bonuses in their heads; and while saluting soldiers fighting in Iraq, tonight's a break from the action, then suddenly in the ring pyro clatter, the EWT wrestlers had to see what's the matter. Right to the TV they saw in a dash, to see what's gonna clash. The full moon shows as a ho, came down the ring below, when we all are shocked at how she appear; But a small ATV, and eight tiny jobber, with a demeaning middle-aged driver, so mysteriously loom, we all knew it has to be St. Toom. More dull than Bastion Booger, he came, and he shouted and swears, by calling their name; "Now crasher! now, crapper! now Francer and sexen! On Cumet! on Q-Tip! on Dinner and Blitz! To the top of the ring! To the top of the turnbuckle! Now crap away! crap away! crap away all!" Then, he said from the microphone, "Hi," he said it with an evil sly, so up to the ring-top the ATV flew, with a sleigh full of porn, and St. Toomigucci too. And then, in a second, We heard from the ring, the crapping and helling of each little jobber, as we looked in awe, down the fake chimney St. Toom built in the ring. He was dressed like Santa, from head to toe, and his clothing was stained due to smut and ho; A bunch of porn he had in his sack, and he looked like a man just finished sex in the back. His eyes--how they look pink! his pimples, how merry! His @..@were with pointy tips, his nose like an angry boo berry! His big pi-hole was built like Babe Ruth's bat, and the no beard on his chin was as smooth as Stevie's new pink hat; The end of a blunt was holding tight to his teeth, and the smoke blew at the booing crowd; He had a tightwad face and a big circle belly, that bulges whenever he moves like jelly. He was definitely chubby and plump, a horrible, young a**hole, and we laughed when we saw him, in desparate measures; A twitch in his eye and rapid boob movement of his ho, soon gave everyone something they had dread; a boner which could not be resisted, but then, St. Toom went to work, and filled all the stockings; then said from the microphone, "No Presents this year, just DVD covers of porn." And giving a nod, up the fake chimney he rose; he then went to the ATV, to his jobbers gave a sigh, and they all went away as the music went high. But we heard him, as he was leaving the ring, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all no bonus." EWT Wrestlers: *In Farooq voice* Damn>:
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Post by dorf on May 31, 2005 22:41:18 GMT -5
Here's what started it:
*Toomiguci enters a building & has a vision*
This is where it begins anew. The nBo likes to swerve & change whatever they wish because they are afraid of the true outcome. So now, I, Toomiguci, will build my own thread. A thread with no rules, no holes barred, no count outs, no dq's, nothing. Hopefully I can get the backing I need. And that I won't bounce any checks.
A revolutionary thread is coming. And it starts right here in this Bingo Hall.
*Toomiguci walks up to a platform & grabs the Bingo Callers mic*
Get the hell out of my building B4 I call security on your asses. This is now the EWT!!!!
Old Lady: B4? I GOT BINGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*A small chant starts to break out of the rest of the old folks*
EWT!!! EWT!!! EWT!!! EWT!!!
Quote:Extreme Wrestlecrap Thread
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Post by dorf on May 31, 2005 22:43:50 GMT -5
Mass Cardboard Vince Russo accident:
*Toomiguci walks to the center of the ring with cardboard Russo*
Slim, Slim, Slim, it's nothing personal. It's all about the mighty dollar. And, well, here's what I think of your gift.
*Toom E takes a chainsaw & starts slicing Cardboard Russo*
Now excuse me, while I build a bonfire.
*New Jack runs out from the back with his trashcan & a can of lighter fluid. New Jack proceeds to douse Russo in lighter fluid & tosses him into the trash can*
Anybody got a light?
*sievetronix walks out of the back with a flame thrower & aims it into the trash can, where he proceeds to burn Cardboard Russo*
That, my friend, is what I like to call the Mass Cardboard Incident. Afterall, this is EXTREME!!!
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Post by dorf on May 31, 2005 22:50:41 GMT -5
* InconVenience opens with pyros & fireworks as the crowd roars in approvement for what they are about to witness. Double D Dudley makes his way to the ring. * DD: Welcome fans of all ages. Welcome to InconVenience, & welcome to the EWT & WCF. Tonight, we will bear witness to see outstanding matches that will truly give you your money’s worth. And why? Because there are no refunds. There are no guarantees. And if the telecast cuts out early, it’s because the cable company screwed up & not us. So sit back, relax, & enjoy a night of botches courtesy of yours truly, Double D Dudley. * Just then, Toom E Dangerously’s music hits, as he makes his way to the ring. * Toom: Hold on just a sec there Double D. I got a problem with what you just said. You may have given me the General Manager spot in EWT because, frankly, that’s what the fans want. And you gave them what they wished for. Now, I know you don’t care about the fans that put money into your pockets, as well as mine, but there will NOT be any botches tonight. Not on my watch. If there are ANY botches, then these 3 men will deal with that person or persons. May I present to you the Botch Free Squad. * 3 men walk out of the back, looking all buff & tough from a local indy company. * Toom: Folks, these men will uphold the law tonight & play protectors. If anybody, even the WCF, attempts to botch a move, these men will come down to the ring & show what happens if you botch a move. Now, enough wasting the fans time & money. Let’s get on with our first match, if you will. * Double D gives Toom an evil sneer, filled with disgust over the Botch Free Squad & leaves the ring. Toom E follows, as the Botch Free Squad take their position at the top of the entry ramp. * Announcer: Ladies & gentlemen, this is our opening contest. It is the Blue Bath Match. Making his way to the ring, representing the EWT, the master of the Blue Bath, mprox blurred version. His opponent, representing the WCF, Na$$$ure Boy. * The camera shows backstage at Na$$$ure Boy’s locker room, where there’s a knock on the door & no answer. Toom E notices that Na$$$ure Boy is not present, as he did not accept the offer of Toom. So Toom approaches curtrok’s locker room & informs him that he’s got 2 matches now tonight. Curtrok shoves Toom E aside: * Curtrok: I’ll see you later then. * Curtrok makes his way to the ring, as mp is hopping back & forth. Mp pounces on curtrok as he enters the ring with punches. Curtrok is able to counter & take the advantage. He throws mp out over the top rope & dives at him with a suicide dive. Mp grabs curtrok & throws him into the ring steps. Mp runs at curtrok, who is able to trip up mp & send him flying face first into the ring steps. Curtrok then follows up by throwing mp into the German Announce Table. Curtrok tosses mp onto the German Announce Table & climbs up onto the table himself. He grabs mp from behind & hits him with a German Suplex off the German Announce Table & through the Zimbabwe Announce table, breaking the table & sending the Zimbabwe commentators running for cover. Curtrok then grabs the Blue Bath Bucket, & just as he’s about to pour it over mp, mp counters with a clothesline. Mp then tosses curtrok back into the ring, where he climbs to the top rope. Mp dives off the top rope with an elbow drop & misses, dislocating his elbow. Curtrok rolls out of the ring, grabs the bucket, & climbs back into the ring. He goes to pour the contents onto mprox, who rolls out of the way. Mp rolls back out of the ring, barely missing the contents of the bucket. Mp holds his elbow in pain, as curtrok goes for another suicide dive, only to miss & go face first into the ring barrier. Mp starts kicking at curtrok, as the fans go crazy. mp reaches into the ring & grabs the empty bucket, smacking it over the head of curtrok, busting him open. Just then, Da Crapper runs out from the back, & grabs mprox. He hits mprox with a kick to the stomach & follows up with DDT. Curtrok grabs another bucket of blue & pours the contents over mprox’s head, winning the bout. * Announcer: Ladies & gentlemen, this is our next contest scheduled…<br> * Suddenly, Na$$$ure Boy’s music hits, as he walks out with his new Luchadore friend. (OOC: Sorry, forgot the name) Na$$$ure Boy grabs the mic. * NB: Woooo!!! Free at last, free at last. Thank ME almighty; I’m free at last. Woooo!!! And I believe I have a Blue Bath Match. Where’s the ref? Where’s the ref? * Na$$$ure Boy strips down to his boxers & drops elbows onto the ring until a ref comes down to convince him to leave the crowd. Na$$$ure Boy starts strutting & dancing. * Ref: Um, you need to leave the ring Mr. Na$$$ure Boy. NB: Do you know who I am? Wooo!! Do you know who I am? I’m Splash Mountain!! I’m the Runaway Train!!! I’m Thunder Mountain!!! I’m Freefall!!! I’m the Haunted House!!! I’m the candy stealing, womanizing, pinfall counting, no good, dirty sob, Space Mountain riding, subway token stealing Na$$$ure Boy. Woooo!!! Ref: I know sir. Didn’t you hear me say your name? NB: Don’t talk back to me if you know what’s good for you!!! Woooo!!! Toom E dangerously put me in a match against this man, so ring the bell, ring the bell, ring the bell!!! Woooo!!! * The ref obliges since Na$$$ure Boy is right & rings the bell for the start of the match. Na$$$ure Boy walks outside the ring, grabs another Blue Bath Bucket, & pours it over mprox to win the match. Dr. Leslie then walks down to the ring with a few guys in a white coat. * Dr. Leslie: Na$$$ure Boy, I don’t think you’re ready. Straitjacket him, please. * Na$$$ure Boy is escorted away by the men in the white coats. * NB: WoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO!!!! * Toom E makes his way to the ring & grabs the mic * Toom: Get his washed up ass out of here. He may have won fair & square I guess, but let’s get him out of here. He hasn’t agreed to my turns. And curtrok, don’t get comfortable in the back, because your night is not over yet. Now, if the EWT tag team champions will please come to the ring, HBH & gasoline. It’s time for your match. * Both men come down, looking as cocky as ever. * Toom: Boys, I think it’s time for your mystery opponents. I give you 2 of wrestling’s living legends. The first one is a true American & the second one is a true New Yorker. Folks, I give you Mr. Bob Backlund & the Brooklyn Brawler. * Both men jumps in the ring as the bell rings. HBH takes care of the Brawler as Gasoline hits Backlund with a kick, powerbomb, & a 3-count. * Toom: Damn it. I need better legends. * Toom leaves the ring to prepare for his match, as the ring is prepared for the next match up. * Announcer: This is our next contest in the Inter-Thread Pay Per View. It is scheduled for one fall, as 2 former teammates, roommates, & classmates decide to end it all tonight. Making his way to the ring, representing the nBo…A-Bomb. His opponent representing the EWT, DSR. * A-Bomb & DSR both lock up as A-Bomb hits DSR with a knee to the midsection followed by a hiptoss. A-Bomb followed up with a knee drop to the throat. A-Bomb hoisted DSR up by the hair, only to be met with a low blow. DSR then threw A-Bomb into the ropes & hit him with a high knee. DSR ran to the ropes & hit a Lionsault, only to be met with knees to the gut. A-Bomb follows up by rolling out of the ring & grabbing a chair. A-Bomb climbed back in the ring, hitting DSR upside the head with a chair. A-Bomb then motioned towards the back, as Fettster came out. Fettster joined A-Bomb in the ring, which brought Toom E out to aid DSR. A-Bomb & fettster started double teaming Toom, as DSR used the ropes to get to his feet. DSR started pounding on Fettster with the chair, as Toom E mounted a comeback on A-Bomb. DSR & Toom E were able to work together & clear the ring. DSR & Toom E met in the middle of the ring as Toom asked for the microphone. * *
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Post by dorf on May 31, 2005 22:51:14 GMT -5
Toom: You know what? I feel like being brave & wrestling twice tonight. What do you say to a tag team match DSR?
DSR: That sounds good to me Toom. Let’s go for it!
* Just then, DSR turns to Toom E & hits him with the chair, knocking him down
DSR: Only, we spoke with Double D & the tag teams are you & fettster versus A-Bomb & me.
* Fettster looks at A-Bomb, as A-Bomb hits him with a low blow. DSR starts pounding Toom E with the chair. DSR lays the chair on Toom E, climbs the top rope, & hits a 5 Star Frog Splash on Toom. DSR rolls around in pain, as he quickly jumps on Toom E for the 3-count. *
* Toom E lies out in the ring as Double D walks out. *
DD: Welcome home son. And Toom E, you’ve been somewhat of a thorn in my side. And remember, you’re not the only one who can call the shots around here. Did you forget who signs your paycheck? The man who has decided that your match against curtrok is….NOW!!!
* Curtrok hits the ring for the Strict Rules Match. Curtrok climbs the top rope as the ref issues a count. Curtrok hits a Shooting Star Press as the ref hits the 4-count. Curtrok lifts up Toom & throws him into a corner & follows up with a clothesline. Curtrok starts chopping in the corner as the ref issues another count. Curtrok obliges the ref, as he tosses Toom into the opposite corner & runs in. Toom is able to dodge out of the way & counter with chops of his own until a 4-count. Toom grabs curtrok & hits him with a bodyslam followed by an elbow drop. Toom climbs the top rope to go for a bodysplash, only to miss as curtrok rolled out of the way. Curtrok gets to his feet, as he picks Toom up & hits him with a Triple German Suplex. Curtrok goes for a pin attempt, only to have Toom kick out. Curtrok throws Toom into the ropes but misses a clothesline as Toom bounces off the ropes & hits a high cross bodyblock. Toom gets a 2-count on curtrok, as he kicks out. Toom grabs curtrok & throws him out of the ring. Toom follows up, but realizes that was a bad move since he made the match. Toom grabs curtrok & tosses him back in the ring. Toom climbs back in, as curtrok hits him with an elbow drop. Curtrok grabs Toom & throws him outside the ring this time. Curtrok dives out of the ring via suicide dive. Curtrok grabs Toom & is about to throw him into the ring steps, as the ref warns him not to or he’s fired. Curtrok throws Toom back into the ring to save his job. Curtrok follows him into the ring, as he hits him with a spear. Toom rolls around in pain as the match hits the 25-minute mark. Curtrok picks up Toom, as Toom takes him by surprise with a small package. Curtrok escapes at a 2-count. Curtrok reverses the move & Toom escapes at the 2-count. The match hits the 30-minute mark, as Toom gains an advantage. Toom hits curtrok with a Lariat. Toom climbs the top rope, where he hits a Shooting Star Press by the 4-count. The crowd is behind Toom’s sudden comeback after the beating he took prior. Toom starts psyching himself up, as he tosses curtrok into the corner & hits him with a spear of his own. Curtrok starts staggering around, as Toom hits another spear. Toom throws curtrok into the corner, where Toom climbs the ropes, grabs curtrok’s head, & hits a spinning ddt off the top rope. Toom goes for a cover, as he gets the 1-2-3 & wins the match at the 40-minute mark. Toom grabs the mic afterwards. *
Toom: You may sign my paycheck Double D, but your plan seems to have backfired. This is far from over…boss.
* Toom leaves the ring, as the announcer enters for the next match. *
Announcer: This next contest is scheduled for 1 fall with pinfalls counting anywhere by order of Double D. Making his way to the ring, Da Crapper. His opponent is the EWT TV Thread Champion, pyschoapeguy.
* Pyschoape hits the ring, where he starts pounding on DC. Dc starts no-selling every punch. Pyschoape looks confused as this is going on. DC then hits pyschoape with a thumb to the eye & botches a clothesline. Just then, Toom runs out. *
Toom: Botch Free Squad, stop him from doing that NOW!!!
* The Botch Free Squad starts heading towards the ring when mprox runs out arm in s ling & baseball bat in hand. *
Mprox: Screw those guys boss, let me get him.
Toom: Botch Free Squad, back off. Go for it soldier.
* Mprox hits the ring as DC starts jumping on mprox’s back, when pyschoape comes from behind with the baseball bat & starts beating DC with the bat. Mprox & pyschoape double team DC, busting him open drastically. After about 5 minutes of a beatdown, pyschoape gets a pinfall. When mprox offers his hand in friendship, pyschoape walks to the corner, sits down, & just starts rocking until he decides to leave the ring. *
Announcer: Ladies & gentlemen, this is our main event. It is the Chain match for the EWT & WCF Championship.
* Just then, Double D exits the back. *
DD: Hold on here, wait a sec. There is no way in HELL that dorzia is getting a shot at the EWT Championship. It’s not in the initial contract that was signed, & it’s not going to happen. As the owner, I have the power to veto Toom’s condition since it was not done in writing. You may proceed now, just get both men out here & link the chains. By the way, you are looking at tonight’s guest referee.
* Double D walks to the ring, taking his jacket off to reveal a referee’s shirt. HitmanMark & dorzia make their way to the ring & get latched up. Double D calls for the bell, as both lock up. HitmanMark & dorzia lock up & dorzia hits a low blow with the knee. Dorzia then wraps the chain around his fist & punches Hitman in the face. This causes Hitman to bleed. Hitman decides to counter with a low blow of his own followed by a throw into the ropes & clothesline. Both men start brawling, as Hitman tosses dorzia outside the ring. Hitman follows outside, as does Double D. Dorzia throws Hitman into the South African Announce Table & hits him with another clothesline, laying him out on the table. Dorzia climbs on top to set up for a Pedigree as Hitman gets the strength to hit dorzia with a Back Bodydrop onto the Cuban Announce Table, smashing it. Hitman wraps the chain around his elbow & follows up with an elbowdrop. Dorzia withers around in pain, as Hitman starts whipping him with the chain. Hitman goes for a cover, as Double D decides to try for a fast 3-count. Dorzia is able to kick out at 2. Hitman lifts dorzia up & throws him into another announce table, this time the Italian Announce Table. The Italy announcers scatter in fear, as Hitman runs with a clothesline & dorzia is able to duck. Hitman hits the Italian announce table, as dorzia hits him with the chain. Dorzia starts dragging Hitman towards the entry way, as the 2 start brawling up the entry ramp. Both men make it to the top of the ramp, as dorzia grabs Hitman & flings him off the ramp onto solid ground. Dorzia then shocks everybody & follows up with a corkscrew moonsault, only to miss & also hit solid ground as Hitman rolls out of the way. At this point, the match has hit the 30-minute mark. Both men roll around in pain, as Double D yells for them both to get up. Both men are able to get up & make their way back to the ring. While in the ring, Double D decides to bring a chair into play, as dorzia & Hitman are both punching at each other. Double D sneaks up & takes a swing with the chair behind dorzia’s back. Dorzia ducks just in time as Hitman is hit square in the face by the chair. This causes Hitman to go down, as dorzia decides to take the advantage & cover Hitman. Double D hesitates, as dorzia is yelling at him. Double D slowly drops to a knee, & issues a very slow 3-count, & calls for the bell to ring as the match is awarded to dorzia. Dorzia rolls out of the ring, victorious, & gives the Middle Finger Salute as Double D looks frustrated in the middle of the ring & we fade to black.*
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Post by dorf on May 31, 2005 22:58:39 GMT -5
Ladies & gentlemen, tonight history will be made. Tonight, both the WCF & the EWT Threads are on the line. And tonight, one man may control both. For it is time to witness….Dangerously Happenings. Welcome everybody, I am Joey Styles. And tonight, I wish to welcome the WCF to their first & possibly last appearance in the EWT’s world of pay per view.
* A video package is shown highlighting the road to Dangerously Happenings involving every inter-promotional thread match. *
Joey Styles: Now, let’s go to the ring for our opening contest folks. This match is fully sanctioned by the EWT, featuring EWT Superstars.
Announcer: Good evening ladies & gentlemen & welcome to Dangerously Happenings. This is our opening contest, scheduled for 1 fall. It is for the EWT Thread Tag Team Championship. Coming to the ring first are the EWT Thread Tag Team Champions, Da Crapper & mprox blurred version, the bNo. And their opponents….
Johnny Nitro: Hold on, excuse me, wait a second here. Allow me to introduce to you their opponents since it is still unknown. Fans of Extreme Wrestlecrap Thread, I am proud to give….THE DUDLEY BOYS!!!!
* Just then, Jason Dudley & his brother Micheal Dudley hit the ring to boo’s. The fans were expecting it to be D-Von & Bubba Ray, but these 2 boys are legit Dudley Brothers. This definitely takes the bNo by surprise, as they are met with double dropkicks by the Dudley’s. The Dudley Boys go to town on the bNo, which pisses the crowd off even more. After a big time see saw match up for 20 minutes, mprox ducks out of the ring, where he grabs a hose from the locker room. He motions to the back, where the hose is turned on. *
JS: BLUE BATH, BLUE BATH, BLUE BATH!!!
* Jason Dudley starts to slip in the ring as Da Crapper pounces on top for the 1-2-3 count & the bNo retain their championship against the Dudley Boys. *
Announcer: This next contest is scheduled for 1 fall, as it also features sort of EWT superstars. One man is under contract as one man fights without a contract. It is our Hair Versus Mask Indian Strap Match. This match up will have a winner via pinfall or submission. Making his way to the ring, the Champion of Mexico & representing the EWT, El Gran Luchadore. And his opponent is the Man Without a Contract, the Blue Chipper, curtrok.
* Curtrok & EGL are both strapped up with the leather strap in between them. Just as EGL gets strapped, curtrok takes him by surprise with a dropkick. Curtrok starts using the strap & whipping EGL with it. Curtrok grabs EGL & throws him over the top rope to the dismay of the ref & wraps the strap around EGL’s neck, choking him. Curtrok jumps back out of the ring & starts punching away on EGL, but EGL is able to retaliate with a surprise dropkick. EGL then jump on the ringside barrier & ran the corner & dove off with a bodysplash off the ring barrier. EGL then picks up curtrok & throws him into the ringside barrier, where he runs at him with a knee. EGL then uses his strap on curtrok & whips him with it. The crowd gets behind EGL big time, chanting his name. EGL then picks up curtrok & rolls him back into the ring & follows him. EGL then climbs to the top rope & dives off with a 450 splash onto curtrok. Just as EGL goes for a cover, the masked man runs out & hits EGL with an Evenflow. Then he grabs curtrok & hits him with an Evenflow as well. Both men lay prone on their back, when fans are shocked even more to witness HitmanMark enter the ring from the audience & takes out the masked man with a dropkick. He then rips the mask off to reveal the man to be Raven. Hitman grabs the mic: *
Hitman: If tonight is the last night I get to step foot in an EWT ring, then so be it. But I want to see something good done tonight & that’s a haircut. I want to meet a REAL wrestling legend.
* Hitman grabs EGL & rolls him onto curtrok for the 3 count. Just then, some music hits & out walks Brutus “the Barber” Beefcake. Hitman lifts up curtrok & holds him up as Brutus starts shaving curtrok’s head BALD. Hitman then helps El Gran Luchadore to his feet, shakes his hand, & raises it in victory. El Gran luchadore looks on in amazement on who he just met *
JS: HOLY SMOKES!!! It’s a miracle folks. HitmanMark laid in a coma less then a week ago & today, he stands in the middle of an EWT ring with up & comer El Gran Luchadore & a bald curtrok. Now the big question is will he be allowed to wrestle here tonight after issuing a challenge to Na$$$ure Boy.
* HitmanMark revels in the cheers of the fans for 10 straight minutes, as they give him a standing ovaition when he’s interrupted by the Na$$$ure Boy, who grabs a mic as he enters the ring. *
NB: Well, well, well….lookie who’s here. If it isn’t good ole HitmanMark, alive & well. Good to see you my friend. You know, after tonight you’re going to be out of a job. Your boss is going to loose & you’re going to join him on the Unemployment Line. Woooooooooooooo!!!!
HM: Oh geeze. Did you change gimmicks again while I was in a coma?
NB: Not only did I change gimmicks, I stayed loyal to my company & injury free. Wish I could say the same for you.
HM: Tell you what Na$$$ure Boy, in case you haven’t noticed, you’re in an EWT ring. And being in an EWT ring allows me the option of doing something that you will regret. See this belt around my waist? The EWT Guidelines state that I must defend this title at least every 7 days or I am stripped of it. I may be recovering from my injuries, but I doubt you could still beat me right here, right now, in this ring. If Toom E dangerously would please come to the ring since he’s still in charge.
* Just then, Toom E’s music hits as he enters the ring. *
HM: Toom, you & I have had our differences in the past. But for tonight, I am willing to put those differences aside for the good of OUR company. You may be facing dorzia tonight, but I want a match against the WCF tonight. And I want it as a title defense against Na$$$ure Boy because I have enough faith in myself. After all, I worked to hard to be stripped of the title.
NB: You’re a brave yet crazy man Hitman. Wooooooo!!!! For starters, I haven’t had a drink all day so I am ready to go. Only thing is, I can’t beat a crippled man. Wooooo!!! But I can DESTROY a crippled man. Woooooo!!!!
HM: Crippled, huh? You think of me as a crippled? You’ll be the crippled one at the end of this match. Give me the match Toom, please?
Toom: Get me a ref out here & ring the damn bell.
* The bell rings as a ref runs out & Toom E exits the ring. Hitman & NB lock up with NB able to execute a hiptoss as he lets out a loud woooo & a strut. Hitman gets up & the 2 lock up again & this time Hitman executes the hiptoss & mocks NB with a wooo & a strut. NB gets up & the 2 look at each other face to face. A shoving match breaks out, as both start to exchange chops with the crowd giving the wooo’s this time around. Hitman grabs NB & hits him with a slam. NB slowly rises to his feet, as he is able to counter with a slam of his own. At this point, both men have been able to match hold for hold. Both start running the ropes while Hitman comes to a stop & performs leapfrog, drops down, & hits a clothesline on NB. Hitman follows up with another mock wooo. Hitman grabs NB by the hair & hits him with the Triple Play of German Suplexes. Everybody is amazed at the punishment Hitman’s putting his body in. Hitman goes for a cover, but has no luck. NB kicks out & hits the Hitman with a thumb in the eye. NB grabs Hitman & gives a suplex of his own, followed by an elbowdrop. NB then climbs the rope, only to have Hitman jump up, grab him, & throw him off the ropes. Hitman throws NB over the tope rope & goes through the ropes with a suicide dive. He connects, sending NB into the ringside barrier. By this point, the match has hit the 25-minute mark. NB low blows Hitman & throws him into the steel steps. NB then whips him into the ringside barrier. NB gets up on the ring apron & jumps down with a double axe handle. Hitman is thrown back into the ring as NB turns to taunt the fans. NB climbs into the ring as Hitman gets to his feet & connects with a dropkick. NB is able to grab Hitman & throw him into the ropes but misses with a clothesline attempt to only have Hitman connect with his own. Hitman dives down for a Crippler Crossface. At the 30-minute mark, NB reaches for the ropes, only to be pulled out further. After 5 straight minutes in the Crossface, Na$$$ure Boy taps out. Hitman jumps up the victor & grabs the mic: *
HM: Phew! What a workout. Feels good to be back in the ring & still the champion. By the way, Na$$$ure Boy…will you autograph my copy of your book? I need some paper to wipe my ass with since I’m out of toilet paper.
* HitmanMark celebrates in the ring for another 10 minutes as the fans give him a standing ovaition some more. Hitman finally leaves as the Scaffolding & tables are prepared for the next match. *
Announcer: Ladies & gentlemen, the following contest is the Scaffold Tables Match. The only way to win is to throw your opponent off the scaffold & through a table below. Making his way to the ring representing the nBo is the WCF’s People’s Champion. Accompanied by his 3 lovely wives Stephanie, Daffney, & Lita…ladies & gentlemen, this is fettster. His opponent represents the EWT as a former tag team as well as World Champion, not to mention a former founding member of the nBo. EWT fans, I give you DSR!!!!
* Both men slowly make their way up the scaffold as fettster’s ladies are ushered out of ringside. Just then, A-Bomb’s music hits & he walks out with a microphone. *
A-Bomb: Whoa, whoa, whoa…hold on just a minute here. This match cannot begin until the referee has made his way to ringside. And according to this contract signed by both men, you are looking at the OFFICIAL referee. You should have read it before you signed DSR. Ring the bell.
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Post by dorf on May 31, 2005 22:59:15 GMT -5
* A-Bomb makes his way up the scaffold as both men lock up on top. Fettster hits DSR with a hiptoss to his surprise. DSR gets up & runs at fettster, whom drops down & trips up DSR. The fans are highly behind DSR, as he is the under dog so far. A-Bomb yells at fettster to back off & let the man up. Fettster complies, as DSR gets up & goes for the attack. He’s able to hit a Lou thesz Press & punches away on fettster. 15 minutes go by in the match, as both men are brawling on the side of the scaffold. Just then, A-Bomb walks up & shoves fettster off the scaffold as fettster goes through the tables below. A-Bomb then raises DSR’s hand in victory as he whispers something to DSR. DSR just looks A-Bomb in the eyes very sternly & walks off, pissed. *
* The scaffolding is taken down as intermission hits. Intermission ends as The Wiggles & the Golden Girls make their way to the ring. *
Announcer: Ladies & gentlemen, the following contest is our Lumberjill & Lumberjack Match for the TV thread Championship. Making his way to the ring is the EWT’s newcomer who is the only man to ever pin HHH cleanly, Mr. Blackula. HHH is opponent is the TV Thread Champion, pyschoapeguy.
* Pyschoape makes his way to the ring & starts to have heated words with the Golden Girls. As this is going on, Mr. B hits pyschoape with a corkscrew moonsault off the top rope. Mr. B starts pounding away on pyschoape on the outside of the ring, as both the Wiggles & Golden Girls yell for them to get back in the ring. Mr. B throws pyschoape into the ring & climbs the top rope. Mr. B goes for a dive off the top rope when pyschoape connects with a punch to the gut, only to have brass knuckles on his fist. Pyschoape pounces on top of Mr. B & starts punching on the face with the brass knuckles. The Golden Girls start yelling at the ref, distracting him from seeing what’s going on. When the ref finally turns, the knucks are gone. Both men go at it back & forth for 20 minutes, when suddenly jzbadblood jumps in the ring with a chain. He starts pounding away on pyschoape & choking him out. The referee calls for the bell, disqualifying Mr. B. Mr. B is infuriated with this, as he grabs jz & starts berating him. JZ follows up with a punch to Mr. B with the fist chain & walks out of the ring, feeling he has extracting enough revenge tonight. *
Announcer: The following match is our co-main event scheduled for one fall. Making his way to the ring representing the WCF, 8Syxx. His opponent is wrestling’s only free agent, Bollywood Golden Spike.
* The match starts as both men stare eye to eye. 8Syxx mumbles something to Bollywood & then lies down. Bollywood gets on top for a cover, as the ref tries to figure out what’s going on. Bollywood demands the ref count, as he goes 1, 2…Bollywood grabs 8Syxx by the hair & pulls him up to start punching him in the face, swerving the original plan big time. Bollywood then picks up 8Syxx & throws him into the ropes to follow with a clothesline. Bollywood climbs to the top rope to surprise everybody with a shooting star press, only to have 8Syxx roll out of the way. *
8Syxx: This wasn’t part of the plan! @!!!
Bollywood: F*** the plan. I’m gonna adlib on your ass because it’s OVER!!!
* Bollywood runs at 8Syxx, as the 2 lock up. 8Syxx is able to hit a hiptoss & follows up with some surprises of his own with chain wrestling. Bollywood jumps up & hits 8Syxx with a high cross bodyblock. Both men shock the fans as they wrestle for 25 minutes. Neither man giving up anything. Bollywood throws 8Syxx into the corner & runs at him with a clothesline as 8Syxx drops down & flips Bollywood onto his shoulders. Holding on to the top rope, 8Syxx scores an actual pinfall to win the match for the nBo, 8Syxx grabs the mic: *
8Syxx: You wanna swerve me & adlib your match? Looks like I ruined your adlib by shooting on your ass & WINNING!!! But I am far from through with you Bollywood…far from through with you.
* 8Syxx grabs Bollywood & starts beating on him with the microphone. The ref tries to stop him, as he shoves the ref out of the way. 8Syxx then makes his way out of the ring & grabs a chair. 8Syxx starts plastering Bollywood, while screaming at him: *
8Syxx: HERE’S AN ADLIB FOR YOU, HERE’S AN ADLIB FOR YOU, AND ANOTHER ADLIB FOR YOU!!!!
* 8Syxx finally leaves the ring, as Bollywood lay motionless, bleeding, & unconscious. *
Announcer: Ladies & gentlemen, this is our main event. This is the Ladder Match for Ownership of the WCF. If dorzia looses, he looses ownership of the WCF. If Toom E Dangerously doesn’t beat dorzia, he must shutdown EWT. Making his way to the ring, representing the WCF & the nBo is the WCF Champion, dorzia. His opponent, representing the EWT & the owner of the EWT, Toom E Dangerously.
* Both men get in the ring, as 8Syxx is still there. Toom E points to 8Syxx & yells for him to leave or the deal’s off. Dorzia obliges, seeing as how that was the agreement in the contract & ushers dorzia away. The bell rings as both men are looking eye to eye with each other & talking. Toom E points up to what they’re supposed to get & points out to dorzia how the contract agreement is actually inside the infamous mask. Dorzia then takes another mask, the one from 8Syxx’s locker, out of his tights. Both men continuing staring down each other for 5 minutes. They finally decide to lock up, as dorzia gets the first actual move by throwing Toom into the ropes following up by a clothesline. Dorzia then grabs Toom & hits him with a scoop slam. Dorzia climbs to the second rope & hits Toom in the throat with an elbow drop. Dorzia decides to take it outside as he throws Toom over the top rope. Dorzia follows with a suicide dive through the ropes, only to be met with a chair shot to the head. Toom then grabs dorzia & throws him into the steel steps. Toom starts kicking away at the gut of dorzia & punching away at the head. 10 minutes into the match now & dorzia is bleeding from the shots. Dorzia follows up with a low blow & grabs the chair, only to bring it down on Toom’s head. This now causes Toom to bust open. Dorzia decides to bring the ladder into play, as he sets it up & throws Toom into it. The impact causes the ladder to fall on top of Toom, where dorzia stands on it & starts stomping away on it. Dorzia grabs the ladder & throws it into the ring, followed by throwing Toom into the ring. Dorzia climbs to the top rope & jumps down with a double axe handle, only to be hit by a jab in the midsection. Toom then grabs a hunched over dorzia & hits him with a piledriver on the ladder. Toom follows up by putting the ladder on top of dorzia, climbing the rope, & executing a stomp from the top rope onto dorzia. Both men are covered in blood as we hit the 30-minute mark. Dorzia uses the ladder again, as he is able to get Toom down on the ground with it. Dorzia lays Toom on top of the ladder; climbs the top rope, & executes a picture perfect 5 Star Frog Splash. Dorzia starts to wither around in pain as well. Just as that moment hits, El Gran Luchadore runs out of the back & into the ring. He climbs the tope, only to hit a 450 onto dorzia & roll dorzia out of the ring. EGL grabs the ladder & sets it up, as he helps Toom to his feet. Proving his loyalty, he starts to help Toom climb the ladder. Toom has no clue what’s going on, as he realizes he’s on the ladder. Toom reaches the top & starts to grab for the mask hanging above the ring. Just then, EGL comes off the top rope, dropkicking Toom off the ladder. EGL then grabs a can of spray paint & sprays a “?” on Toom. Dorzia starts to climb back in the ring, where he’s met with a chair shot from EGL, who sprays a “?” on dorzia’s back following the hit. EGL sets up the ladder, climbs right up to the top of it, grabs the mask from above, & the bell suddenly rings declaring the match over. Standing on top of the ladder, EGL slowly removes the mask to reveal underneath the EGL mask is the same exact mask worn by the masked man. *
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Unicron
Aunt Blabby Tells All.
bea wants all you sweathogs to take a look at what a REAL man is supposed to look like
Posts: 3,223
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Post by ape on Jun 8, 2005 16:25:12 GMT -5
here's one from waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back when psychoapeguy was trying to find a gimmick that fit him well....and....well, this was the result....i still kinda giggle when i think of this...
*ape stands in the back wearing warrior facepaint*
ape - toomiguci...you and yer ruley schmooleys.....no finger pokes...no finger pulls....no chicken fingers with special dipping sauce......the little apes are not happy about this colamoration of gruntitude going on.....and as they watch on in the heavens and make us all eat the bagels of life....the little apes tell me....that poo monger and i will battle like gladiators in the cosmic heavens and our fight will rain down upon the threads like raccoons in daycare!!! our fight will be a good one, poo friend...our fight will be like a universal laxitive...cleaning out the evil intestines filled with bad things and carrots!!....this will be the ultimate challenge!
*ape pulls some rope from his pocket and starts to violently shake it in front of him....then calmly walks away whistling the golden girls theme*
ahhh...memories...
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Post by dorf on Jun 22, 2005 20:16:01 GMT -5
Good evening ladies & gentlemen, I am your host Mean gene Okerlund & welcome to the Saved By the Bell Hype Show. Standing behind me is the football field that will be used for Saved By the Bell. For the first time ever, an EWT pay per view is receiving massive hype with tv spots, radio spots, as well as hype from Hollywood's best. Afterall, this is the EWT's first ever appearance on the West Coast. But it's also a Homecoming of sorts, as the main event will feature Bayside High's own DSR as he goes after the EWT Heavyweight Thread Championship that he once held. And he will face the man who he won that title from, HitmanMark, in an Old Fashioned School Yard Match. Dustin Diamond of Screech fame has also signed on as guest referee. Let's look at the history of this fued that started way back on June 14th, when DSR entered EWT with his then tag team partner A-Bomb. HitmanMark granted DSR his first ever title shot to a man he didn't trust. But DSR went on to prove everybody wrong & gained their respect, proving he could vary from the WCF style of wrestling:
Quote:*HMark does a bit of chain wrestling, making DSR look foolish. DSR gets up off the mat, and faces HMark. The chain wrestling begins again, this time DSR hold his own. DSR thrown to the ropes, HMark drops to the mat. DSR attempts a leg drop, HMark rolls away, DSR rolls to his feet. Lock up, Hmark gets the advantage, throws DSR into the turnbuckle. DSR climbs the top rope, hits a moonsault on a standing HMark. DSR covers for a two count, Hmark rolls out, small-packaging DSR for a two count. Both men stand up, the crowd applaudes quite loudly.
Over the course of about 45 minutes, these men use every move in their arsenal. DSR sells like a real team player. The fans cheer loudly for HMark's excellent technical moves. The fans begrudgingly respect DSR and his high-flying.
DSR hits the Emoflow DDT for a 2 count. HMark latches on the Crossface, DSR makes it to the ropes. DSR hits the Clothesline from TRL for another 2 count. HMark applies the Sharpshooter. DSR reverses the Sharpshooter into one of his own. HMark drags himself, drenched in blood, to the rope, breaking the hold.
A few minutes later, a table is set up in the ring. DSR misses the Emokick, HMark throws DSR into the turnbuckle. HMark hits a swinging DDT, putting DSR through the table.
Styles: "Oh My GOD!!!"
The Crowd: "Holy S(p)it, Holy S(p)it."
*HMark covers DSR for the 1-2-3! The winner and still champion, HITMANMARK
These 2 men have had a tremendous fued that have brought changes to both men. But this time, it's different. As witnessed in the King of the Road Match at Highway to Hell, the EWT Championship was vacated as both men drew in the match.
We will also witness 2 newcomers this Sunday on pay per view. jzbadblood has signed a multi-hundred dollar contract & has even proven his worth as he defeated Terry Funk in a Branding iron On a Pole Match. This time around, jz meets up with the TV Thread Champion, pyschoapeguy, in a non-stipulation match. pyschoape has nothing to gain but plenty to loose as jz has everything to gain but nothing to loose.
While the other newcomer has been a thorn in the side of not only the EWT but the WCF as well. So the Blue Chipper will find out Sunday his possible fate as he may face a Blue Bath from the tag team champions, Da Crapper & mprox blurred version. Da Crapper & mprox have been a reckoning force since they started their Blue Bath tactics & curtok may be the next one to look just like a Smurf.
Another thorn in the side is former WCW superstar, Raven. He looks to end his fued with Roddy Rowdy Piper that never even started in WCW. But Raven claims to have a better agenda against Toom E Dangerously. The question is, what's his agenda? And which man can climb the pole to retrieve the skirt off the pole.
This pay per view is shaping up to be the biggest ever in the history of EWT. And it will even include a live performance from Bayside's own Zack Attack. And we've even been lucky enough to close the Saved By the Bell Hype Show with a performace from Zack Attack. So sit back, relax, & enjoy...Zack Attack!!!
Thought we'd always be together, I was sure our love would last. Here I am, all alone, wond'rin' what went wrong. Did we ever have a chance?
It's hard to see this world without you, A lonely place without romance. Here I am, all alone, wond'rin' were you've gone, Did we ever have a chance?
What did we promise to each other? What were the words we said? Lookin' back to yesterday, When we started off, Did we ever have a clue what love was all about?
Thought we'd always be together, I was sure our love would last. Here I am, all alone, wond'rin' what went wrong. Did we ever have a chance?
That was Zack Attack with Did We Ever Have a Chance? To see this & so much more, call your cable operators NOW!! NOW I SAID!!! Get off your ass & dial the phone. That's better. And before we go, here's a special word from Toom E dangerously himself.
*Shot goes to Toom E sitting in his office*
Thank you Mean Gene. Tomorrow will be a big day for EWT. And it will be a big day for fans. I, for one, will be there. And I hope you all can join us. Because tomorrow, I guarantee youthat Saved By the Bell will leave you shocked & amazed. And it will bring an end to the Hitman/DSR saga as we finally crown a new EWT Champion after a week long reign with no champion. If you miss it, then you will miss history....in the making.
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Post by dorf on Jun 22, 2005 20:18:59 GMT -5
* The pay per view opens up with Toom E dangerously standing in the center of the ring *
Ladies & gentlemen, welcome to Bayside, California. And welcome to Saved By the Bell!!!!! And now without further wait, I give you Bayside’s own ZACK ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!
* Camera pans to Zack Attack *
When I wake up in the mornin', And the 'larm gives out a warnin', I don't think I'll ever make it on time. By the time I grab my books, And give myself a look, I'm at the corner just in time to see the bus fly by! It's alright 'cuz I'm saved by the bell.
If the teacher pops a test, I know I'm in a mess, And the dog ate all my homework last night, Ridin' low in my chair, She won't know that I'm there, If I can hand it in tomorrow, it'll be all right! It's alright 'cuz I'm saved by the bell.
Here comes that brown eyed girl, She looks so fine, Every time I talk to her, I nearly lose my mind! It's alright, 'cuz I'm saved by the bell. Ow!
It's alright, 'cuz I'm saved by the bell. Here comes that brown eyed girl, She looks so fine. Every time I talk to her, I nearly lose my mind! It's alright 'cuz I'm saved by the bell.
Before I hesitate, I'll ask her on a date, We'll be goin' out on Saturday night. If she asks me to the dance, I won't stand a chance, When she sees me as I'm movin' with my two left feet! It's alright 'cuz I'm saved by the bell. It's alright... It's alright... It's alright 'cuz I'm saved by the bell. It's alright 'cuz I'm saved by the... It's alright 'cuz I'm saved by the... It's alright 'cuz I'm saved by the bell..
* A video package is shown highlighting the Road to Saved By the Bell between HitmanMark & DSR *
Announcer: Ladies & gentlemen, this is our opening contest scheduled for 1 fall. It is for the TV Thread Championship with no stipulations at all. Making his way to the ring is the challenger, jzbadblood. His opponent is the TV Thread Champion being escorted to the ring by Bayside’s Homecoming Queen, Kelly Kapowski.
* jzbadblood gets a sneak attack on pyschoape as he’s entering the ring. Jz starts pounding away on pyschoape’s back, leaving welts as he hits him extremely hard. Jz whips pyschoape into the rope & follows up with a missed clothesline as pyschoape ducks underneath. Pyschoape rebounds off the ropes with a high cross body block & the first pin attempt of the night. Pyschoape is able to score a 1 count, as the crowd boo’s for him. Pyschoape stands & performs a standing dropkick on jz to the crowd’s displeasure. Jz is now down as pyschoape runs off the ropes with an elbow drop. Jz is now rolling around in pain as pyschoape scoops up jz & throws him out of the ring. By this point, the match is in the 20-minute mark. Pyschoape climbs the top rope & comes of with a double axe handle, sending jz into the ring barrier. Pyschoape grabs the timekeeper’s bell as he drapes jz over the ringside barrier. Pyschoape then climbs the top rope & comes off the top rope with the bell to the back of the head of jz. Jz is now writhing around in pain, holding his throat as if he was having trouble breathing. Pyschoape grabs jz & throws him into the ring as he climbs the top turnbuckle again. Pyschoape comes down with the bell into the throat of jz & jz is now looking like he’s choking on his tongue, having major trouble breathing. Pyschoape grabs jz by the hair & throws him into the corner as the ref checks on jz. Jz is having major trouble breathing & blood is being spit out of his mouth. It seems internal bleeding is now a factor here as the ref calls for the bell to end the match. Paramedics are called to the ring as jz wiggles around in pain, having trouble breathing. Pyschoape grabs the mic & speaks: *
You want to say I’m friends with Hitler? You want the fans to turn against me & go for you because you’re new? You want THIS??? There’s no way in hell you’re going to get it. What’s that? You want to speak? You can’t? Cat’s got your tongue? Timekeeper’s bell got your tongue? Rot in hell new guy, because that’s the last time you will EVER face pyschoapeguy for MY TV Thread Championship.
Joey Styles: OH MY GOD!!! Jzbadblood’s first pay per view may have been his last. There is no way to tell what’s wrong with the kid as they’re taking him out of the ring via stretcher. Let’s hope this kid can come back from this injury. I can almost guarantee if jzbadblood can comeback from this injury, there WILL be hell to pay for pyschoapeguy & his TV Thread Championship will not be safe.
* Camera goes backstage where Todd Grisham is interviewing the guest referee for tonight, Dustin Diamond *
TG: Dustin, welcome back to your Alma matter.
DD: Ssshhhh…..
Fans: Screech, Screech, Screech, Screech…..
DD: FINALLY, SCREECH HAS COME BACK TO BAYSIDE!!!! Sorry, I’m a big Rock fan & have always wanted to say that.
TG: Mmmkay. So Dustin….
DD: Please, call me Screech. I haven’t been able to escape that character since the show is syndicated in every country, including Bosnia. Ever hear me in Bosnia? It’s quite a riot.
TG: Ok…Screech. Tell me how it feels to be involved in tonight’s main event? Think you can handle?
DD: Think I can handle it? THINK I CAN HANDLE??? Listen buddy, you’re new around here. I KNOW I can handle it. You remember when Wrestlemania was in LA? No? I do because I was there in the background during Chuck Norris’s interview. I saw what it takes. I know what it takes. And I will call it right down the middle & will make sure the correct man walks off the football field as the best school bully & the new champions for this vacated title right here. It’s just a shame, because the chicks dig me when I wear this belt to the bar.
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Post by dorf on Jun 22, 2005 20:20:15 GMT -5
* Back to the ring with the announcer *
Announcer: It’s time for our next contest scheduled for, well, no falls. As you all see, there’s a skirt hanging up there. And the first, err, um, man to get the skirt off the pole & put it on will be the winner. Making his way to the ring, representing the EWT, Rowdy Roddy Piper. His opponent…
* Raven walks out with a mic*
Hold on a minute. I don’t need any pity EWT introduction. That’s not what I’m here for. Instead, I am here for one thing & one thing only. Toomiguci, I have a surprise for you & it’s something you will not like. Rehab ring a bell? Cocaine? Anorexia? No? How about what you caused when you dropped an angle? Please bring my crate out.
* A forklift drives out with a huge crate *
* Raven climbs into the ring as the bell rings & Piper goes after him. Raven looks at Piper & trips him up. A kick to the gut of Piper brings him down fast since he’s put on so much weight. Raven then applies an Evenflow to Piper. Raven then starts kicking Piper, as Piper mounts a comeback. Piper whips raven into the ropes & goes for a sleeperhold. Raven kicks back & hits Piper with a low blow. Raven then throws Piper outside the ring & whips him into the crate. Piper is split open at this point, but doesn’t give up. Piper comes back with a scoop slam onto Piper. Piper smacks raven’s head with a closed fist. Piper then grabs Raven by the hair & rams his head into the forklift. Piper goes for another sleeperhold as Raven runs him back into the ring post. Raven then hits another Evenflow outside the ring, knocking Piper out. Raven points to the forklift operator to open the crate & out walks the Olsen twins. *
JS: HOLY SMOKES!!! MARY KATE IS OUT OF REHAB!!!!
* Ashley Olsen climbs the pole at the ripe age of 18 & pulls down the skirt. Both Olsen twins wrap the skirt around Raven as the bell rings. Ashley then grabs the mic *
Toomiguci, you abandoned us & left my sister bad because you dropped our angle. Well, we’re back & Mary Kate is out of rehab.
Raven: Shut up Ashley. Tooms, you heard the girl whine. And now it seems that my angle is over from WCW, as you made me hurt my hero. But now, now I plan on continuing a storyline started from WCF.
* Just then a masked man jumps into the ring & applies his own version of the Evenflow on Raven & the Olsen twins & runs out *
Announcer: This is…the Blue Bath handicapped Match. The first person to be bathed in the blue bath & look like a Smurf looses. Entering the ring first is the newest addition to the Wrestlecrap Threads, the Blue Chipper curtrok. His opponents are the EWT Thread Tag Team Champions, Da Crapper & mprox blurred version.
* The match starts out as DC & mp double team curtrok. Both men apply a double clothesline followed by a double suplex. The fans are behind the bNo. DC climbs out of the ring & heads to the back, where he grabs the head of Megatron. He uses it upside curtrok’s head, busting him open. Dc continues to beat curtok over the head as mprox climbs out of the ring & grabs the blue bath bucket. Curtok mounts a comeback, as he escapes & hits DC by surprise with a dropkick. Mp drops the bucket & jumps back into the ring. Mp looks under the ring & finds the old strategically placed cookie sheet & comes up from behind curtrok with it. Curtrok is dropped by the sheet with multiple hits. Mp picks up curtrok as DC climbs the ropes for a Spiked Piledriver. Dc climbs out of the ring & grabs the blue bath. Mprox body slams curtok at the 25-minute mark & Da Crapper hits him with a Blue Bath. *
Announcer: The winners of the match, the EWT Thread Tag team Champions, Da Crapper & mprox blurred version.
* Toom E dangerously comes out to the ring & grabs the mic as well as the Megatron head *
Maybe that will teach ya Blue Chipper Smurf. Maybe next time, you will play by the rules? And now it is time to find out who our Number 1 Contender to the EWT Thread Heavyweight Championship will be after tonight. Ladies & gentlemen, it’s time for…MUSICAL CHAIRS!!!! Please come to the ring as I call your name 1 by 1.
Joey Styles
Pyschoapeguy & may I say, that was an interesting side of you earlier
Mary Kate Olsen if you want to finish your wrestling angle, you’re in too
Shark Boy
Da Crapper
Balls Mahoney
Richard Simmons
Now folks, I assume you all know how to play musical chairs. And to help us with the music, I give you once again, Zack Attack.
* Zack Attack plays as the folks all walk around the chairs. Richard Simmons is prancing & this starts getting on Da Crapper’s nerves, as he grabs Simmons & power bombs him through a chair, bending a chair. The music stops. All but Simmons sit on a chair. *
Toom: Well, I didn’t expect that to happen. Somebody wanna get a stretcher for Richard Simmons please? Ok, continue please.
* Zack Attack plays on as the remaining 6 stroll around the 5 chairs. Toom E dangerously sticks a stick in the ring & trips up Mary Kate Olsen as the music stops, making her the only one not to get a chair. *
Oh gee Mary Kate, looks like your wrestling career is over. Thanks for playing. Now back to rehab please. And bring that ugly piece of crap raven with you.
* The music continues with the surviving 5 & 4 chairs. Shark Boy starts running, using his hand as a fin & doing chopper motions with his arms & the fans sing the theme from Jawz. Pyschoapeguy gets tired of all this & decides to just sit in a chair & no-sell this round. The music stops as all but Balls Mahoney get a chair *
No balls for you Mahoney. Back to Police Academy with you.
* The music hits again, as pyschoape continues his protest by sitting it out. Shark Boy tries to get him out of the seat to play fair as pyschoape decides to get up *
Pyschoape: You want the chair Shark Boy?
* Pyschoape smashes Shark Boy over the head with the chair & places it on Shark Boys throat, applying pressure until the music stops *
Toom: Back to Sea World with you Shark Boy. Give my regards to Shamu.
* The music hits again as there are now 2 chairs & 3 men left standing, including commentator Joey Styles. Just as the music stops, pyschoape sits & mprox runs out from the back, giving Joey Styles a Blue Bath to give Da Crapper a chair *
Back to the commentator’s table Joe Joe. Feel free to shower first. We’ll find a FUN way to stall time for you.
* 2 men left as the music hits. Da Crapper & pyschoapeguy with 1 chair. As the music starts to play, both men just stand there with a stare down. Just as the music cuts off, pyschoapeguy is sneak attacked from behind by jzbadblood with another chair. Pyschoapeguy & jzbadblood fight through the crowd as Da Crapper sits down in the chair *
Toom: Ladies & gentlemen, we have a new #1 Contender to the EWT Thread Heavyweight Championship…bNo’s own Da Crapper!!!!!!!! And now for one more live performance for your listening pleasure, Bayside’s own…ZACK ATTACK!!!!!!!!!
* Camera pans back to the stage for Zack Attack *
We met some time ago, When we were so young. We've been through thick and thin, We've lost, we've tied, we've won.
Friends forever, With you everywhere. Friends forever, Always will be friends.
If you're down, I'll pick you up, I'll never let you fall. If you ever need someone, I'm waiting for your call.
We'll be friends forever, We'll be friends, Talkin' 'bout friends.. Always will be there, Will be there. Will be there.
Through it all, hangin' tough, We'll stay side by side. We'll be friends forever, Til' the end of time.
Friends forever, We'll be friends, Talkin' 'bout friends. Always will be there, Yeah, yeah friends. Always be friends. We'll be friends together. Yes we will, Yes we will, Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oohhhh.
* Camera pans not to the ring, but the end of the football field where the students of Bayside High School have formed a circle. *
Toom: Ladies & gentlemen, the moment you have all waited for. Allow me to introduce tonight’s guest referee. I give you your own hometown boy, Dustin “Screech” Diamond. And now the participants in tonight’s Old Fashioned School Yard Fight for the vacated EWT Thread Heavyweight Championship. First entering the circle, the last EWT Thread Heavyweight Champion & Bayside High School’s most respected alumni, DSR. His opponent is the previous EWT Thread Heavyweight Champion, HitmanMark.
* The bell rings as both men stare each other down for about 5 minutes. Both men lock up as the students go crazy. Hitman starts off with a hip toss. He then pounces ontop of DSR & starts punching away. DSR gets up & Hitman counters with a dropkick as DSR goes face first into the dirt. Hitman starts rubbing DSR’s face into the dirt as he applies a camel clutch. DSR is able to escape the camel clutch & runs with Hitman on his back into the crowd. DSR flips Hitman off his back as the students catch him. The match hits the 10-minute mark, as DSR grabs one of the students’ Trapper Keeper & uses it on Hitman’s head. This causes Hitman to start bleeding at the 15-minute mark. 20 minutes have now passed as scientific wrestling has gone out the window for a pure six fistfight. Both men are connecting, as welts form on their chests & face from the connections. The 30-minute mark hits, as both men are able to escape the crowd & start heading towards the goal post. DSR grabs Hitman & rams his head into the goal post. Hitman is now bleeding as DSR is able to climb up the goal post & come down with a double axe handle to the back of Hitman. The crowd is going crazy at this point, hoping for a Hitman comeback. Hitman starts to gain the energy from the crowd, as he mounts a comeback of his own, sending DSR into the goal post. Hitman then drags DSR to the side of the football field & throws him over the fence into the bleacher area. Hitman goes for a piledriver onto the cement as DSR counters with a back bodydrop to the cement. DSR climbs into the bleachers & jumps off with a missile dropkick. The crowd follows both men as they battle up the metal bleachers. The 2 men are brawling, as Hitman is able to gain a German Suplex onto the metal bleachers. DSR lets out a loud yell as if he’s broken in half. Hitman starts grating DSR’s face into the bleachers, causing blood to ooze from DSR’s head. This makes it the 40-minute mark as both men are bleeding profusely. With the California sun beating down on both, it makes this even harder for the 2. DSR & Hitman brawl to the end of the bleachers next to the parking lot as Hitman flips DSR over the railing & onto a parked car. Hitman jumps over the railing & lands on the hood of the car, as he grabs DSR & powerbombs him through the windshield. Hitman then grabs DSR & starts dragging him by the hair towards the wrestling ring in the center of the field. Both men make it to the ring as the 50-minute mark hits. Hitman hits another dropkick on DSR & grabs him for a German Suplex Triple Play. Both men have their bodies glistening in the sun from all the blood coming out of their heads. The match hits the 60-minute mark, as both men are exhausted from the action, the loss of blood, & the sun. But neither will stop, as there must be a winner. DSR is able to mount a comeback as he hits a Snake Eyes on Hitman in the corner. DSR throws Hitman into the ropes & counters with a powerslam on Hitman. DSR then applies a chickenwing, trying for a tap out. Due to the blood loss combined with sweat, Hitman is able to slip out & counter with a Crippler Crossface. DSR also slips out, as the 2 lock up again. Hitman hits another hiptoss as the match now hits an hour & ten minutes. Both men are giving it all as Screech just looks on in amazement since he’s never seen action like this, not even at Wrestlemania. Hitman climbs the top rope & hits a diving headbutt on DSR. Dustin Diamond issues a 3-count with both men laid out in the ring, unconcious. Toom E dangerously speaks with Dustin Diamond & makes an announcement. *
Toom: According to the referee Dustin Diamond, both men are unconscious & unable to continue. But there was a pinfall, as one man did have his shoulders down for the count & the other man only had 1 shoulder down while touching his opponent. So the winner of the match & NEW EWT Thread Heavyweight Champion….HitmanMark!!!!
* Just then, 2 fans with a Gumby & Pokey mask jump in the ring. They take out Dustin Diamond with ease & start pounding on Toom E dangerously. Toom E is able to fight back as he rips one mask off to reveal WCF’s dorzia. The one masked as Pokey takes his mask off to reveal Na$$$ure Boy. The 2 start beating down Toom E & dorzia grabs a mic: *
You wanna advertise this garbage on my show? You wanna interrupt my show with your crap? You wanna come on MY SHOW dressed as Megatron? Well now it’s my turn to come on your show & take care of YOU!!!
* Suddenly, another masked man jumps in the ring & lays out dorzia with a chair. He goes after Na$$$ure Boy & lays him out with a chair. He grabs Toom E’s hand & helps him up as everyone realizes it’s the masked man from the Raven attack earlier. The masked man helps Toom E to his feet, only to level him with a chair as well. The masked man grabs a can of spray paint & starts spraying a gigantic “?” on the backs of dorzia, na$$$ure Boy, & Toom E dangerously as the pay per view fades to black. *
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Post by HMARK Center on Nov 24, 2005 0:35:55 GMT -5
here's one from waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back when psychoapeguy was trying to find a gimmick that fit him well....and....well, this was the result....i still kinda giggle when i think of this... *ape stands in the back wearing warrior facepaint* ape - toomiguci...you and yer ruley schmooleys.....no finger pokes...no finger pulls....no chicken fingers with special dipping sauce......the little apes are not happy about this colamoration of gruntitude going on.....and as they watch on in the heavens and make us all eat the bagels of life....the little apes tell me....that poo monger and i will battle like gladiators in the cosmic heavens and our fight will rain down upon the threads like raccoons in daycare!!! our fight will be a good one, poo friend...our fight will be like a universal laxitive...cleaning out the evil intestines filled with bad things and carrots!!....this will be the ultimate challenge! *ape pulls some rope from his pocket and starts to violently shake it in front of him....then calmly walks away whistling the golden girls theme* ahhh...memories... Consider this a bump: this is one of my favorite memories from EWT's original days.
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,390
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on May 12, 2006 18:40:12 GMT -5
This may be a BUMP, but who exactly was the masked man?
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Post by HMARK Center on May 12, 2006 23:42:42 GMT -5
Oh my God...I'm just remembering all the names we used to come up with like this.
Back in the day, before we actually got banished to Off Topic on the old boards for all the nBo shenanigans, we used to challenge each other to fake matches at things like Monday NitRaw (Nitro/Raw), Slam-bo-reeng, Botch at the Beach, Wednesday Night Blunder, The GRAY-UT AMURCAN BOTCH, etc. etc...and, of course, the original BOARD GAMES (war games).
InconVenience was my idea for what we had to call the WCF taking over EWT back in the day.
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on May 13, 2006 0:27:20 GMT -5
So basically, the PPV names were less original then than they are now.
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Post by curtrok on May 13, 2006 9:29:35 GMT -5
**In Dusty Rhodes Voice**
Listen Rengal if it wasn't for those "unoriginal PPV names you wouldn't have a table to eat at.
**End worked shoot**
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Post by #Classic Hi-Definition X on May 13, 2006 10:55:24 GMT -5
So basically, the PPV names were less original then than they are now. True, but it was also different back then. Things weren't as serious then as they are now.
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Post by HMARK Center on May 13, 2006 10:58:28 GMT -5
So basically, the PPV names were less original then than they are now. We actually didn't have PPV's back then. In fact, we didn't even have matches. The nBo guys would just start randomly posting in threads where they'd derail whatever conversation was going on, say "WE'RE TAKIN OVER!" and start "no selling" everyone's else's posts, until some of us pretended to be their young up n' comer rivals. The whole idea of this turning into an E-fed only came once we got banished to Off Topic, and had to start having a modicum of organization when it came to this stuff. Even then, it didn't really turn into one until Toom started EWT.
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Post by Baixo Astral on May 13, 2006 11:07:29 GMT -5
You got that right, chico.
SWERVE!
*Botched powerbomb destroys the entire world, twice*
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Post by #Classic Hi-Definition X on May 13, 2006 11:11:02 GMT -5
Dang, you even got Spike posting in here. How long's it been? 5 years? 10? 50?
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