Curly Long
AC Slater
Midget Wrestling Master
Posts: 234
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Post by Curly Long on Oct 25, 2005 4:42:50 GMT -5
*Back at Ringside and the sinister version of 'Moving On Up' begins to play, and here comes Curly Long with Earthquake and Typhoon. They get to the ring and Curly gets on the mike*
CURLY: Now before my match . .
*Curly watches the announce table with an evil grin, as a series of boos come form the crowd*
CURLY: I noticed that we have some new talent in the EWT . . . a large chap by the name of Virus who looks like he could go far . . . and a group of people known as the Third State Warriors, EN Bunk, Bolt Bacana, and Jessica. Now I hear they want a title shot already, but what have you done to prove yourself here in the EWT? . . . Nothing thats what!
*Crowd chants 'VLB' at Curly but he ignores it*
CURLY: . . . as for your demands . . Your tag title shot is denied . . mainly because there is a number one contenders match at "We Couldn't be Arsed with a Name" between the P.T.A and the Nyrds. They have both worked hard for it and I'm not letting some unproven tag team waltz in to the main event . . . As for your woman she has two choices if she wants a GND Title Shot . .
*The crowd continues to shout abuse at Curly, Earthquake and Typhoon shout back threateningly*
CURLY: She can earn it like the rest of the women's division . . . or . . she can meet me alone in Room 26 of the Shady Secrets Motel at midnight . . .
*Curly gives his bald head a rub and checks his breath, as a small group of the crowd chants "Sleazy Midget"*
CURLY: Ah Shudap! . . now onto my match . . my opponent is a fan favorite, a resident of Oklahoma . . oh what the hell . . .play his god dammed music!
*On that Jim Ross's Oklahoma music begins to play, Jim Ross looks really concerned as he gets up from the announce table and heads to the ring. He slowly enters the ring as Curly beckons him forward and gives him a mike*
CURLY: Hey Jim, I suppose your used to this at the moment. Being called down to the ring, probably get embarrassed by some guy at the top of the company trying to wield some power . . . heheh . . . I suppose your wondering why we have a match and here's the answer . . . I hate this pathetic crowd . .
*Curly points his arms around at the audience, who Boo him straight back! Earthquake then lifts him up to J.R's eye level*
CURLY: You see Jim, I'm fed up of the lack of respect a man of my position gets . . you respect me don't you J.R?
JIM ROSS: erm . . sure . . Curl . . i'ya mean Mr. Long.
CURLY: Good . . good . . now to get that respect I need to make an example . . so J.R I'm going to Fire someone . . do you know who that might be?
*Curly gets up close to Ross's face, a scared worried look on Ross's face appears*
CURLY: That's right . . . YOUR FIRED!! . .. Jerry 'the King' Lawler! . .
*Right on his final word, a huge pyro goes off at the announce table, Jerry Lawler stumbles round in flames screaming as EMT's try to rescue him, all the while Curly laughs, before pulling out a coin from his pocket*
The Bell Rings
J.R: Bawhh Gawd thats terrible . . .
CURLY: Isn't it . . . heheh . .. heads or tails Jim?
J.R: What!? . . .er . . . Tails . . . I hope Lawler is ok . .
*Curly flicks the coin catches it and then looks at the result *
CURLY: Guess what J.R . . todays your lucky day . . you won the match . . it came up tails!! . . *evil laugh* . .
Bell Rings
*Jim Ross music plays as Curly & the Natural Disasters walk back up the stage and past the pool. Jim Ross remains in the ring staring at the charred remains of the announce table, still in shock. . . Suddenly from out of the curtain Raskall and Trunk charge Typoon and Earthquake with a couple of chairs . . THWACK!! . . KA-POW!! . . the two men go down as Curly hightails it into the crowd Raskall & Trunk following*
(cut to commercial)
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Oct 25, 2005 8:22:15 GMT -5
*A commercial comes on. The WCF logo comes up on the screen.*
VO: New from EWT DVD. The Rise & Fall of WCF. How did this company go from being the dominant force in E-Fed Wrestling to a basketcase to out of business in just a frew short months? We have all the inside information on the amaziong rise & shocking decline of an icon. Buy it November 1 on DVD from all good retailers & most bad ones to.
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Post by pta on Oct 25, 2005 17:44:11 GMT -5
Heavily classical music starts up as Chance Confidence strides out to the ring, this time unaccompanied by his fellow P.T.A. Members. He's wearing a the official P.T.A. Shirt and a pair of loose fitting khaki pants. The crowd boos him heavily as he quickly enters the ring. The announcer sees him and runs off, dropping his microphoen as he does. Confidence walks over and picks it up.
Confidence: Well hello once again... you group of worthless swine.
The crowd greets Confidence with a Shut The Hell Up Chant
Chance: Usually I wouldn't bother entering this ring... well, unless it was a match. But I've noticed that I have been left off the card. That just simply will not do. Therefore... tonight I will make sure you are not denied my immense talents... though you don't really deserve to see them.
Some guys throws garbage at the ring. Of course, they can't reach Chance.
Chance: HONESTLY... is that you're best shot? My grandfather could throw further than you weaklings. Oh but I suppose I can't really blame you now can I? That would simply be... well... actually I do blame you.
The crowd continues booing, still throwing stuff into the ring.
Chance: You see... the reason that I balme you is because... well, first of all each one of you probably has the IQ of a small insect. And second of all... you're not Chance Confidence. Sure... some of you may share my first name... but NOBODY here, Chance or otherwise, can even compare to the greatness of Chance... Confidence. I know... it's a shame really... maybe you'd be more tolerable if you were as perfect as myself.
The crowd starts up a Shut he F*** Up Chant now.
Chance: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Oh... you probably do. I wouldn't be surprised if you had married them either.
The crowd continues to chant and chuck garbage into the ring.
Chance: Now then, back to why I was here. I'm not on the Wrestling card. So... that's why I'm issuing an open challenge tonight. Whether it be against... Gasoline
The crowd cheers
Chance: The unofficial Toolshed Champion... Paul Podanski
The crowd cheers again.
Chance: Even that... Deamon Colon fellow...
The crowd cheers a bit less.
Chance: because it doesn't matter! I will crush anyone you throw at me. And I'm going to stay out here in the ring... watch horrible matches if I must, until my challenge has been accepted. So... go on and keep watching the show. And if any one of you... pieces of filth, back there want to accept my challenge, well go right ahead. Oh and if you think I don't stand a chance against you... well... YOU'RE JUST... JEALOUS!!!
Chance hops out of the ring and into the pool, grabs one of those pool chairs and sits in it, awaiting for an answer to his challenge.
Fade to commercial.
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Oct 25, 2005 20:34:55 GMT -5
*The Ragnals are in the locker room, celebrating the recent win against LOD*
LINDA: Welcome back, guys.
JOE: Thanks, sis.
MIKE: Man, I tell ya, whatta vacation. But ya know, nothing's as great as coming back to the people you know after so long.
JOE: I think I can relate.
MIKE: So, Tanya, how do you think of the new you?
TANYA: I like it, you know? I'm not trying to be some WWE Diva wannabe, so I can actually act like myself and not a ditz.
JOE: Yep, taght her evrything she knows.
MIKE: Yeah. Just think, guys, in less than a week, the Ragnals three are gonna be holding two of the EWT titles.
JOE: Yeah, hope Linda got her point across to Carla after she had her Submission match with Gail Kim, huh?
*Linda looks at them wide eyed*
LINDA: WHAT?
JOE: Your match? Against Gail Kim? Submission match?
LINDA: .........OH, F***!
*Linda runs out of the room.*
JOE: Uh oh...
TANYA: What?
JOE: She forgot her match...*chuckle*
MIKE: Man...*laughs*
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,390
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Oct 25, 2005 21:39:58 GMT -5
The Third State Warriors come out to the ring.
EN Bunk: Curly Long, how dare you! How dare you even think about having your way with Jessica?! I swear when I get my hands on you, you'll need Mr. Big just to stop me! Now, about Virus, rejecting my match. Hmmm......well, I do get your point. So how about a regular match? And trust me, no one from the Third State Warriors will interfere in our match, I give you my word. Now, can someone please make a match for us?!?!?
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Post by Virus aka Captain No-Nuts on Oct 25, 2005 22:06:00 GMT -5
(Heaven's a Lie starts playing over the PA system. The crowd pops for a second, then remembers what Virus said about them in his coming soon promo and sinks back into indifference. Virus is unperturbed by the lukewarm reaction, and begins talking immediately as the music cuts out.)
Virus: First off, as for Mr. Long (the crowd boos at the mention of the hated GM.) and his... *cough* preposition, get used to it. I've heard he's perverted like that.
(Virus begins walking towards the ring.)
Virus: I can't tell you how happy I am you saw my point, Bunk. We newbies need to earn our respect around here, and curtain jerking with regular matches is one of the best ways to do it, in my opinion.
(Virus reaches the pool, gets in, and gets up onto the apron.)
Virus: And it's also a nice touch that you're not gonna let your buddies (Virus nods at Bolt and Jessica before climbing over the top rope without fear.) interfere in our match. So you know what, Bunk?
(Virus is face-to-face with EN Bunk now.)
Virus: You're on. But know this: I'm just as eager as you are to make an impact here, and I will not be an easy target. Prepare... to be... INFECTED.
(Heaven's a Lie kicks in again, and the two newcomers take part in a staredown before Virus turns around and exits the ring.)
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,390
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Oct 25, 2005 22:20:43 GMT -5
Sum Guy: Hello, I'm Sum Guy, and I suck at April Fool's jokes. With me now are the Third State Warriors, EN Bunk, Bolt Bacana, and Jessica.
Bunk: You know Guy, all me and Bolt want are chances to prove ourselves here in EWT. That's all we've wanted. So me and Bolt thought about it for a while, and we decided to challenge the Natural Disasters, Earthquake and Typhoon! And to make things interesting, IF Curly accepts and his team loses, then I get five minutes in the ring with him so I can do whatever I want! Trust me, it'll be bloody and gory. However, if Curly's team wins, then, (sighs) He gets one night with Jessica.
Jessica: That's right Curly, if your team wins, you get a girl for the first, and probably last, time in your life. But, only if you accept and win. If not, oh well.
Bolt: But right now, me and Bunk are introducing two people who've been with us since we've started, Jace Metal and Sieve Borino.
*Metal and Borino came out.
Bunk: Welcome to the best faction in EWT, The Third State Warriors.
*The Third State Warriors leave.
Sum Guy: Well, I'm Sum Guy, and sometimes I wonder why I work here.
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Curly Long
AC Slater
Midget Wrestling Master
Posts: 234
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Post by Curly Long on Oct 26, 2005 4:20:37 GMT -5
*The Third State Warriors are just about to walk out of the arena, when the Toomi-tron springs into life. Curly is sitting in his office facing the camera*
CURLY: . . HEY! . . .
* Curly looks round the screen of the camera, as a chorus of 'VLB' chants fill the arena*
CURLY: . . yeah I'm even Bigger now . . hehe . . Now hold up guys . . . yeah you lot, the ones who look like they got dressed in the eighties . . .
*The Warriors stop and watch the Toomi-tron*
CURLY: Good . . lets get one thing straight around here, I'm in charge of this the EWT untill the big boss Toomi Bishoff returns . . . and as such I give the orders and make the matches around here. You want to prove yourselves? Then you can when I set up this weeks match board tonight . . . but my boys the Natural Disasters have other pressing engagements . . namely Raskall and Trunk . . . but don't you worry, I'll find someone of equal caliber for you to prove yourselves against . .
*Culry switches off the titantron . . 2 seconds later he flicks it back on*
CURLY: Oh and Jessica don't get your hopes up . . you had your chance with the biggest thing in EWT . . and it is big I can tell you . . *Curly Grins so that is missing teeth can be seen* . . but hey thats life and anyway I'm quite content with Nina here . . . *laughs*
A female midget in a slinky black dress walks to the side of Curly . . she smiles, Curly smiles. Suddenly Nina jumps on Curly's chair and they start making out grotesquely for the whole of the EWT audience to see . . after a few minutes, they briefly stop ..
CURLY: . . because remember you beatniks! . . Curly Long is EWT!! . .
*The crowd boos as they continue to go at it, untill the commercial break*
(cut to commercial)
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Post by 'Foretold' Joker on Oct 26, 2005 5:47:06 GMT -5
*We find ourselves in the bowels of the EWT Arena, a chain sways in the murky dark. A light flickers struggling to survive on its 20 watt bulb. A slight mist or smoke rises from the floor. A loud clanking and the sound of something breaking metal can be heard. The camera continues along the grimy corridor until it reaches a room barely lit room. Inside there is a plate on the floor which has some crumbs on it and a large metal cage.
Its black bars menacingly lit like a sadistic prison . . . . but the cage is empty, the door hangs broken off its hinges . . .a smear of blood where the door has been smashed off drips and in the dim light of the room on the damp floor a few large footprints can be seen leading away from the cage . . the camera turns in the gloom to see a small man with a beard walk into the room he is carrying a glass of water on a tray . . on seeing the cage, the tray and glass drop to the ground echoing throughout the corridor . .
JANITOR MAN: S***! he's escaped!
As the words escape is mouth an angry laugh is heard, which gets closer and closer to the room. The light fades out as sound of somebody being thrown against the wall repeatedly can be heard
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Oct 26, 2005 9:04:13 GMT -5
*As Gail Kim's music plays, and Gail is already in the ring, Linda runs down, slides in, and attacks Gail with her belt. Linda puts Gail into a regular crossface, and Gail immediately taps. Linda gets up, grabs her belt, and runs out of the arena.*
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Post by dorf on Oct 26, 2005 10:49:36 GMT -5
Dorf vs. Joel
Finkel: This match is scheduled for one-fall and it is for the Extreme Wrestlecrap Threaderation’s WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! *Nyrds music plays* Coming down to the ring, weighing in at 173 pounds, from Sparta Wisconsin, and one-half of the Nyrds, accompanying by tag partner Mike, here is JOEL!
*The two are nearly together as they walk down the ramp to a chorus of Nyrdy boos. One rowdy fan went up behind Mike’s face and slapped him. Mike then counters that slap and rips into that fan’s shirt. The fan goes berserk as EWT security comes over and the two argue as security takes the fan away from the crowd. The crowd cheers for fan, but the Nyrds still got boo’d as they enter the ring fine. They posed to the crowd while fixing their big, thick glasses as Joel gave the TI-9000 to Mike for predicated purposes.*
Finkel: *Dorf’s music plays* Coming down to the ring, weighing in at 268 pounds, from Filthadelphia Pencilvania, accompanied to the ring by his girlfriend Diva-Dorf, here is DORF!
*Dorf and Diva-Dorf enter from the banter and walk underneath the CrapTron. They kiss as the crowd pops out hugely for the couple. They hold hands down the ramp and enter the ring fine. They pose to the crowd as Dorf points to his belt and that got a loud pop and then he points to Diva-Dorf wearing lingerie to an even louder pop from the mostly male audience.*
*Dorf assists Diva-Dorf out of the ring as she goes outside of the ring to watch her boyfriend battle another great EWT superstar. As soon as Diva-Dorf is safe from Mike, who is on the other side of the ring, Joel flies at Dorf out of nowhere with a Standing Flying Crossbody to start the match, taking down Dorf to an immediate pin.*
Ref: 1……………………………..2…….*Dorf kicks out*
*Joel and Dorf both get up right away as Joel ran at Dorf, but Dorf attempted a clothesline and missed as Joel ducked underneath Dorf. Dorf turned around and gets a Thumb to the Eye from Joel. Dorf is blinded temporarily as Joel grabs Dorf’s left arm and goes to the closest corner. Joel climbs to the top rope with Dorf’s left arm and holds to Dorf’s neck. Joel then goes up 180 with his head and Dorf’s closely together (Stalling Vertical Suplex-esque position sorta), with Joel holding onto Dorf’s neck. Dorf uses his strength to turn away from the ropes, but that is what Joel wanted as Joel started put his weight down and gives Dorf A F***ING FLIPPY DDT! Dorf goes down hard as Joel attempts to pin Dorf again.*
Ref: 1………………………………….2………………………………..*Dorf uses his leg on the bottom rope! Joel is upset.*
*Joel kept to himself to prevent being more upset and attempts to pin Dorf again, this time in the middle in the ring.*
Ref: 1…………………………………2…………………………..*Dorf kicks out legit.*
*Mike comes up upon the apron all upset that Joel should have gotten the 3 count and become the EWT World Heavyweight Champion. Joel, stressed out had a psychoatic look as he went to Mike to look at the TI-9000 for help. A camera zoomed up to the TI-9000 and it said for Joel to do a Lucas Lock to have a 63% chance for victory. Joel with a Grinch-like smile goes up behind Dorf and waits for him to get up to perform the Lucas Lock. Mike is now done bickering with the referee so that Joel can fairly use the referee. Dorf gets up…and Joel LOCKS IN THE LUCAS LOCK!*
*Dorf is struggling in pain as Diva-Dorf looks worried that her boyfriend could lose. After Dorf’s face turned to an almost bright red, Diva-Dorf screamed ‘DORF!’ and got onto the apron and almost forcefully got into the ring…if it was not for the referee that ran at Diva-Dorf to get out. Dorf’s face is turning purple as Mike interferes in Joel’s Lucas Lock. Mike starts to pimp slap Dorf in the process. Both Nyrds seem to be very happy that Dorf’s reign as champion will be a short one as Dorf is tapping out now, but not loud enough for the referee to hear as Diva-Dorf is trying to be loud as she can be now. Diva-Dorf gave out a loud scream that only the Nyrds were only scared of her loud shrill. Mike fell down into fear, as Joel has a look on his face as if he crapped his pants and Dorf is down.*
*Diva-Dorf smiles as Dorf is down with Mike and Joel not too far away. The referee yells at Mike to get outside of the ring; Mike crawls outside listening to the referee. Both competitors down, the referee started his infamous 10 count.*
Ref: 1…2…3…4…5 *Joel starts to move*…6 *Dorf starts to move as Joel is about to get up*..
*Joel gets up first as the referee counts to seven and Dorf is still moving, but does not look he will get up in time as the referee counts 8 to Dorf. Joel is resting on ropes so that he is credited for still standing. The referee yells 9 as Joel starts to celebrate a near victory for becoming EWTs next World Heavyweight Champion. Dorf is still lying there as the referee looks at Joel; he then looks at Dorf and Dorf gets up right away, but is still fazed from that submission as Dorf’s face is still red (not purple). Joel, seeing that Dorf is up, sprints at Dorf and gives him a Running Enzigiri (Indy style) and attempts to pin Dorf once more.*
Ref: 1…………………………………………2……………………………*Dorf barely kicks out.*
*Joel, looking frustrated as he should have won the match already goes to the TI-9000 and consults it. The TI-9000 replies that was the 98% chance of victory with that Enzigiri…it should have been over. The TI-9000 takes five seconds longer than it normally does to think. It finally beeped a result of “doing tag-team work with Mike without getting caught by referee or a weapon.” The Nyrds then looked at each other with an evil smile as Joel slowly walks into the ring. This makes Diva-Dorf have a worry wort on her right cheek. Joel walks to the opposite side of the ring and leaves. He grabs a steel chair and re-enters the ring.*
*Mike purposely gets the referee’s attention and Joel seems ready to strike Dorf. He tells Dorf to get up as his menacing smile gets bigger and bigger. Joel runs at Dorf who is part-way up and attempts to do a Standing Flying Crossbody with that steel chair. Dorf ducks in enough time to miss Joel with that chair. Overshooting Dorf, Joel fell down by his own miscalculation. Dorf goes up to Joel and gives a desperation DDT to Joel ONTO THE STEEL CHAIR. Diva-Dorf enters the ring and takes the chair away as Mike is still distracting the referee telling him that Diva-Dorf has the steel chair. Since Mike is going ecstatic, the referee told him to calm down, as Diva-Dorf gets away with the steel chair and gives it back to the timekeeper.*
*Mike stops talking to the referee and turns around finally to see that both competitors are down.*
Ref: 1…2…3…4…5…6….7..*Both start to move, but Dorf gets up quicker*…8!…*Dorf is up*…9! *Joel is up as well.*
*Since Dorf got up first he goes up to Joel and gives him a straight right hand. This makes Joel fazed as a few seconds later, Joel gives Dorf a right of his own. Dorf stumbles a little and then has the momentum to retaliate to punch Joel again. Dorf punches Joel twice more and it pushes him to the corner. Dorf goes up to the top rope and drags Joel up with him. Dorf sets up and completes THE ABDORFTION! Dorf covers.*
Ref: 1…………………………………..2………………………………….*Mike puts Joel’s foot on the rope and the ref only saw Joel’s foot on the rope*
*Since Dorf saw Mike cheated, Dorf goes outside the ring and gives a viscious Clothesline to Mike and drags him into the ring. Dorf, with a smile on his face performs a Dorf-plex…well about too, as Joel strikes out of nowhere with a Chop Block to Dorf’s left knee. Mike slowly crawls to the outside. Joel goes up to the top rope and performs an INVERTED TORNADO DDT to Dorf and goes down. Joel covers.*
Ref: 1……………………………….2……………………….*Dorf barely kicks out again.*
*Joel gets up right away and makes Dorf stand up and locks in the Nyrdmare (sleeper) to Dorf. Dorf’s face is almost turning purple again as Dorf is about to fall asleep. Dorf goes down easily and it looks like he is asleep. The referee checks Dorf if he is still able to compete, as Joel is locking in the Nyrdmare very tightly with an evil grimace on his face. The referee picks up Dorf’s arm and it falls down easily…ref yells 1! The crowd is cheering Dorf to not give up. The referee picks up Dorf’s arm again and it falls down easily once more…ref yells 2! The referee picks up Dorf’s arm a third time and it was about to fall down again for Joel’s victory, but the power of the crowd prevented that as Dorf somehow woke up and started to feel the ‘electricity’ from audience.*
*Mike was telling the crowd to SHHH!!!, but that worked to no avail. Joel was looking worried when his Nyrdmare was falling apart. Dorf gives a heave-ho to Joel’s stomach and that releases Dorf from the hold. Dorf runs to the ropes for leverage and runs to Joel with a Flying Clothesline to him. The crowd is becoming happy now as the momentum shifts into Dorfs favor. Dorf walks over to Joel and gives him a German Suplex….not once, not twice, not thrice, 4 times. Joel screams in pain due to his back. Dorf screams at Joel to get up, but he could not as Joel points to his back. Dorf walks right over to Joel and grabs Joel by his head and applies the Dorf-o-Matic to Joel. Joel goes down as the crowd knows that this is the end of Joel coming up as Dorf screams to the crowd, “KNOW YER SOUL AND SHUT YER TRAP!”*
*Mike gets up and tries to interfere on the apron, but Diva-Dorf pushes Mike’s feet off with all her strength. It was enough strength to take all his weight and make him fall to the outside of the ring. Dorf goes right over to Joel and puts him into the noose and performs the DORF-PLEX! Dorf covers.*
Ref: 1……………………………………….2……………………………………………….3!
Winner: by pinfall, and still EWT World Heavyweight Champion, DORF!
*Just then, Moxie appears underneath the CrapTron and gives Dorf some clapping…sort of cheering for Dorf, with the crowd giving boo’s to Moxie. Moxie has a mic and speaks.*
Moxie: Brevado Dorf, brevado. Come this Sunday, you will lose to me and I will become EWTs next World Heavyweight Chapion, because you are not even in my league. See you Sunday, Dorf. *Moxie leaves as Diva-Dorf restrains Dorf from attacking. Diva-Dorf says to hold off until Sunday.*
*Camera fades to black.*
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Post by pta on Oct 26, 2005 11:02:11 GMT -5
As we return from commercial, Chance looks on in awe at the match he just saw, still awaiting an answer to his challenge. He turns around and grabs a bag of popcorn from some guy in the audience and starts eating, patiently awaiting his answer.
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,390
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Oct 26, 2005 12:01:10 GMT -5
We cut to EN Bunk somewhere in the arena.
Bunk: Curly Long. You need to learn the hard way. Me and The Third State Warriors won't rest until we see you in the hospital. Why? Because of what you did to p.z.a. Or rather, what Mr. Big did to him. See, me and the Warriors all saw what you and Big did to him. So immediantly, we trained so we could go to EWT and take you out. But what do you do? You try to duck and dodge us. Well no more. Because when I get my hands on you, I swear I'm gonna make sure you feel the same way as p.z.a. did as soon as he was manhandled by Big.
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Post by invaderdave on Oct 26, 2005 12:11:03 GMT -5
Chance Confidence still lies in his pool chair, still awaiting a challenge. The soft acoustic tones, followed by the carribean instruments of the Kinks’ “Come Dancing” plays over the PA System, and Dave Davies walks out in all his tie-dyed glory. Dave dives off the ramp into the pool, swims a few laps around the ring to pop the crowd, which works to his desired effect. Dave climbs into the ring, and is handed a mic.
Dave: The water’s great! *cheap pop* Hello, hello, as you know, I am the one called David Davies, and well, as it is, I’m not here just because I like talking to the fans, I’m here because I heard a certain someone running his mouth.
Chance sits up in his seat, looking amused.
Dave: Oh, it appears he knows who he is. Well Chance, I haven’t got much else to do, and the way you’re just sitting there, you got some time to waste too. So get the hell in here, Confidence.
Chance is handed a mic.
Chance: Are you serious? That’s it? That’s your big answer? You have time on your hands? God, I don’t even know why you’re out here. How long has it been since you’ve held a title, anyway? Four, six months? And if I remember right, you friggin’ lost it to a guy who’s best friend was a cheese sandwhich. Please, go to the back and let someone with a little more class and talent take this test, before you get hurt.
Dave: Chance…get in here, or I’m going to come out there.
The crowd begins to buzz…
Chance: So is that supposed to scare me, Dave? I’m supposed to be afraid of a guy who’s had more gimmick changes than Mick Foley? Don’t waste my time you sad, pathetic JESUS CHR-llbbllblblbl….
Dave had launched himself into the air with a springboard SSP, and had landed on Chance, sending them both underwater. Water splashes everywhere as Dave and Chance thrash at eachother, and the lifeguards break up the fight. Dave is escorted to the back, and Chance gets back into his seat.
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Post by pta on Oct 26, 2005 12:29:58 GMT -5
Confidence immediately leaves the ring area and storms backstage, bursting into the P.T.A. Lockeroom. Principal Pain and Canceler immeidately turn around.
Pain: Confidence? Where are your manners?! You don't just burst in here like that... it's impolite...
Chance: This is no time for bloody pleasantries. I was just assaulted... ME!!! By David Davies of all people.
Pain: And what do you want us to do about it? Canceler and Myself have to strategize for our match against the Nyrds... who seem to be picking up a few things from us. No matter... as soon as we destroy them in the ring, then we focus on Limey and HBH.
Chance: Who cares?! I am not going to just elt some... twit come out and attack me. I demand that you get that... bloody midget GM to book me and him in a match THIS INSTANT!!!
Pain backs up a bit, straightening his tie.
Pain: Hmmm... very well, I'll see what I can do. Just don't expect for us to help you. We'll be busy with our own match.
Chance nods and slowly exits the locker room. Canceler and pain watch him exit.
Pain: He may be skilled, but his ego is quite annoying, don't you think?
Fade to commercial.
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Post by haiku on Oct 26, 2005 12:30:10 GMT -5
Diva-Dorf vs. Sharmell
*The two ladies are already in the ring as Dorf is on the outside of the ring cheering for support for Diva-Dorf. The bell rings to start the match and both competitors go to each of their opponents hair. They both scream as the referee told them to break it apart.*
Dorf: Come on Diva-Dorf...beat that b****!
*This made Diva-Dorf have more confidence as the referee broke them apart. Diva-Dorf just rammed at Sharmell and takes her down with a crappy Spear. Diva-Dorf just throws random punches to Sharmell and grabs Sharmell's hair and attempts to pin, but it becomes a 2 count.*
*Diva-Dorf gets up right away and performs to Sharmell the B*** SLAP OF DOOM! Sharmell goes right down with her cheek showing redness. Diva-Dorf attempts to pin Sharmell and gets the 3 count. She & Dorf celebrate for their victorious day.*
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Maelstrom
AC Slater
The Tide Will Turn!
Posts: 236
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Post by Maelstrom on Oct 26, 2005 18:41:02 GMT -5
*Back in the Corridors of the EWT arena and Maelstrom wanders up to the freshly made Matchboard*
MAELSTROM: Looks like Mankind is going for a ride on the one way shuttle tour to the ocean floor!! . . Just like Billy . . . *Laughs* . . because The . .
*The crowd chants 'The Tide Will Turn'*
MAELSTROM: Hey, there good today
*Maelstrom walks off with a smile on his face as he goes to attend to his Aquarium*
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Post by Virus aka Captain No-Nuts on Oct 26, 2005 18:55:00 GMT -5
(Virus walks up to the newly posted match board to see if he's made the card.)
Virus: Vampiro? Damn, thought maybe I'd get EN Bunk. Oh well... it'll be a hell of a match anyway.
(Virus walks off.)
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Oct 26, 2005 19:03:45 GMT -5
*After Virus walks off, The Ragnals and Tanya walk up to the match board.*
MIKE: What the-DOOM?! We have to face freakin' DOOM?!
JOE: Seriously...WTF?
LINDA: Sweet, I get Ivory.
TANYA: Um, who's this person?
RAGNALS: Um...
*The Ragnals exchange looks, then just walk off.*
TANYA: Guys, I'm serious! WHo is this woman?!
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Post by paulpodanski on Oct 26, 2005 19:40:34 GMT -5
Sinister music starts playing as Papa Shango walks out the ring.
Announcer The following contest is a triple threat match for the unofficial Toolshed Championship! Approaching the ring weighing in at 320 pounds, Papa Shango!!!
Shango enters the ring. Suddenly, Doink the Clown musics starts up and he runs out. Of course, this is the evil Doink, not the crappy... face one.
Announcer: From The Big Top, weighing in at 243 pounds, Doink the Clown!!!
Doink slowly walks down the ramp and enters the ring and they await their opponent. Soon Let The Bodies Hit the Floor starts up... but nobody comes out. Shango and Doink look on a bit confused.
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, I've just been informed that Paul Podanski is not in the building, but he has sent a suitable replacement for this match.
Soon... some strange Congo Like Music starts up and a huge man in a giant Parrot Costume walks out to the ring.
Announcer: From The Bird Cage, weighing in at 312 Pounds, Paul E Cracker!!!
The smarks in the crowd cheer... since, this was one of paul's old gimmicks from the indies. The giant... parrot man flaps and runs down towards the ring. Doink and Shango look totally confused as the parrot slides into the ring and takes them down with a double wing clothesline.
Doink and Shango slowly rises to their feet, Doink getting hoisted up and slammed with a Manhattan Drop. As he bounces around the ring, Shango grabs the parrot from behind, for some kind of suplex. But Paul E. counters with a few elbow smacks causing him to let go. As Shango walks around a bit dazed, Paul E gives him a headbutt and sends him to the mat as well.
The crowd is totally behind Paul E. as Doink slowly rises back up and runs towards the parrot, only to get caught in a Spinebuster. He goes down hard as the parrot goes for a cover. 1...2...
But there's a kick out. Paul E gets up, only to get clotheslined from behind by Shango sending him sailing out of the ring. Shango and Doink follow and the three of them start heading up the ramp. Shango grabs Doink by the head and slams him headfirst into the barricade. Doink holds his head and grabs Shango for one of his own. The two trade head slams when Paul E walks up behind them, grabbing both of their heads and slamming them together. The two go down onto the ramp.
Paul E leaps up with a double stomp onto both of their chests. The two looks a bit surprised and in pain. The parrot reaches down and lifts up Doink, hoisting him into the air and nailing a snake eyes onto the Barricade, Doink falling down and rolling around in pain. As he does, Shango gets back up and starts nailing lefts and rights on Paul E, the two making their way towards the backstage area. Doink slowly gets up and runs after, trying to catch up. A referee also runs after them.
The three make their way down the hall... nailing lefts and rights on each other as they do. Eventually, they fight their way into the... EWT Women's Lockeroom. You can hear tons of screams as various EWT Ladies cover themselves. Doink gets whipped into a locker and falls over. Shango immediately gives Paul E Another clothesline. He hunches over, Shango nailing him with a hard knee to the face. The parrot goes down as Shango goes for a pin. 1...2...
But Paul E kicks out again. Shango starts to get frustrated. Meanwhile, Doink steals one of the towels from the women, specifically from Mrs. White. He then sneaks up and twirls it up... snapping it on Papa Shango's ass. He looks a bit surprised and turns around, Doink nowhere to be found. The towel is right next to Shango as Mrs white runs over and delivers a low blow kick. Papa goes down hard.
Doink reappears and walks over... pinning Shango. 1...2....3.
Shango has been eliminated, but he's not getting up anytime soon. Doink then turns his attention to Paul E, only to get taken down with a stiff knee to his chest. He then gets lifted up high and slammed down with a suplex to the hard floor. Paul E goes for the cover. 1...2...
But doink somehow kicks out. He's a bit dazed now. Paul E lifts Doink up and the two fight their way out of the shower room, the EWT Ladies resuming their showering.
As Paul E and Doink reenter the hallway, they start fighting their way down. Soon, they enter Curly Long's office... just like last time.
Curly: Ah hell! Not again!!!
Paul E takes Doink and whips him onto a brand new table. He then runs over and with a bit of difficulty, lifts up a heavy file cabinet. Doink looks on in horror as the parrot slams it down onto the table, but he rolls off just in time. The table... breaks again.
Curly: Damn it! Get the hell out of my office!!!
Paul E and Doink immediately start punching and kicking again, heading out of the office again. Paul E immeidately whips Doink into the Exercise Room. In the background, you can see Some Random EWT guys working out. Doink immediately whips paul E at an exercise bike. He crashes into it, knocking the thing over. Doink walks over and goes for a pin on the fallen Paul E. 1....2.....
No! Kick out right before the three. Doink gets a bit frustrated and walks over, grabbing a bunch of weights and rolling them full speed along the floor at Paul E. The parrot barely dodges each weight by jumping out of the way. As he runs out of weights, Doink speeds forward and goes for a clothesline, but it's caught and turned into an Arm Drag. Paul goes for another cover. 1....2...
But Doink kicks out again. Paul can't believe it... again! He slowly lifts up Doink off the floor and whips him to the exit door again, watching as he crashes through, knocking it over and onto the floor. Paul E runs full speed out of the room.
The two are abck out in the hallway again. Paul E walsk over to an open Janitor's closet and pulls out a bucket and a mop. He lifts Doink up, then palces the bucket over his head. Paul E then takes the mop and smashes it aside his head. Breaking it in half. He walks over as a dazed Doink stumbles around, grabbing a Broom next and cracking over his bucket head. Doink falls down again. Paul E immediately walks back into the closet and pulls out... a bottle of floor wax. He starts pouring it out, making a path of some kind. Paul E then backs up and runs forward, dropping and sliding fast towards Doink, but Doink moves out of the way just in time, causing Paul E to slide right into Hoss Matthews. Hoss falls over as Paul E's head crashes into and through a wet floor sign. as Paul E groans slightly, Doink is on his feet.
He grabs a plunger and sticks it on Paul E's face. He then starts plunging away, eventually, ripping the Parrot's head clean off. Staring in front of him now is... Paul Podanski. He immediately runs forward and delivers a sickening clothesline to Doink, taking him down hard. Paul then starts dragging him back out to the ring... by his feet of course. As he pulls him down, delivering some stiff stomps to his face to keep him down, he eventually reaches the ring again. He tosses him inside and pulls something out from under the ring.
A box of nails...
Doink is starting to rise back up as Paul enters and takes him back down with a powerful Yakuza kick to his face. He then starts pouring Nails all over the mat, the crowd chanting Holy S*** Paul reaches down and lifts Doink into Powerbomb position spinning round and round... 1...2....3....4....5.....6....7 and slams him down into the nails. He immediately goes for a cover. 1...2....
3!!!
Announcer: Here is your winner... and still The Unofficial Toolshed Champion... Paul Podanski!!!
Paul reaches down and puts his costume head back on, whcih he carried out with him. He immediately starts flapping his way backstage, slapping wings with the fans as we fade to commercial.
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