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Post by Poker Joker on Mar 7, 2005 0:54:03 GMT -5
*A reporter, desperate for a story (hey, find me one that isn't), is washing up in the men's room at the arena. Suddenly, he hears calls of extacy coming from one of the stalls*
*NOISE FROM BATHROOM STALL*: OH YES! YES, BABY! YES! YES! YES! AAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!
*The reporter waits to see who's making the racket. Naturally, out of the stall comes Billy "The Virgin" Ubermark carrying the latest edition of Penthouse.*
*REPORTER* Um, Billy? Was that... you in that stall?
*BU*: Uh... Yeah. Yeah, it was... I um...I
*Billy tosses the magazine back over the top of the stall.*
*BU*: .... I was just... you know... my diet's lacking some, ... uh... fiber.... lately.
*REPORTER*: Have you heard that you've finally got the attention of one Mproxx? It seems that after only one match, you're already starting to make some enemies.
*BU*: ME, making enemies? It was Mproxx who stepped on me while I was down. It was Mproxx who thought he could treat me like a door mat while he was in one of his drunken stupors. And WHY did he do that to me? Because he feels that he's some how superior to me because I'M a virgin! Seriously, I don't get it. WHY DOES EVERYONE SEEM TO PICK ON ME JUST BECAUSE I'M A VIRGIN? ? ?
*REPORTER* (a bit confused): Uhhh... I didn't hear Mproxx mention anything about that in the last interview I heard from him. If fact, I haven't heard anyone mention anything about your current... ahem... sexual state.
*BU*: Big deal! So you haven't heard them say anything. You don't have to hear it! I always hear it! Always! Always! I hear it in what they say to me. I feel in it how most of the people around here treat me. I see it in how people look at me! Hell, I may not hear stuff when I'm around, but I'm SURE they're talking about me behind my back. MOST of the people that is. And that includes Mproxx. He just decided to be REALLY obvious about it that day in front of Commissioner Toomi's office. It reminds me of my dad, and how he used to treat me. I was never good enough for him. And I know THAT was all because I never got laid in high school or afterwards. And that's the same reason I'm treated the way I am by a lot of people around here. I have to work EXTRA hard to prove myself because I'm a virgin, and for some reason that's the only thing anyone gives a crap about. I seem to have earned some respect from Spaz and DSR, but STILL.... everyone else just focuses on the fact that I'm a virgin!
*REPORTER* (still looking confused after Billy's ramblings): Well... getting back to Mproxx, it seems you may have some run-ins with him in the future, despite the fact that he was TRYING to retire before you started calling him out.
*BU*: Trying to retire? Then WHY did he step on me outside of the commissioner's office? HE just wanted to insult me because I haven't had sex, yet. I'm telling you. I've been through this before, and I KNOW what this is all about. Well, Mproxx is going to have to WAIT for his supposed "retirement," because his ass has a date with me... er, uh.... my foot, imparticular, that is!
*Billy turns to face the camera directly instead of the reporter.*
*BU*: Mproxx, I've heard you talk. You can play your little paintball games all you want. But a little paintball gun isn't going to save you from getting pelted by ME! And if you want to call me William, that's fine. You're not the first. But when I'm done with you, you WILL be the first person to call me something else. I always hoped a chick would be the first person to call me this... but when I'm done, you're gonna be calling me "Daddy." And that WON'T be in the throws of passion, either.
*REPORTER*: Well, thanks for the time, Billy.
*BU*: No problem.
*Billy offers his hand and the reporter shakes it. The sound of the hands grabbing one another is rather mushy, though. Suddenly the reporter looks at the handshake, and gets a disgusted look on his face as he pulls his hand back slowly. Billy gets an embarrassed look on his face.*
*BU*: Oh crap. Uh.... I'm, uh... can I get you a towel. Things got ... a little carried away with the magazine.
*The reporter looks at the paper towel rack, but its empty.*
*BU*: Don't bother. I used those up yesterday doing this... Um.... maybe there's a page free here in my magazine you can use. I'll see if I can find ones that aren't stuck together.
*REPORTER*: That's... that's fine, Billy. Really. Really, its fine. I... think I've got a wetnap from lunch in my car. I'll just....
*The reporter and his cameraman leave as Billy collects his magazine from the stall.*
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Mar 7, 2005 0:59:24 GMT -5
*Spaz is shown standing in the EWT gym, wearing only a pair of boxers. He then steps onto the scales for his weekly weigh in.*
S: Alright 202 lbs, finally I'm over the 200 mark this workout regime has been fantastic. Time to test it out in the ring I have a phone call to make.
*Spaz heads for his gym bag & takes out his cell, using the speed dial he calls someone.*
S: Hey it's Spaz! Yeah, I'm ay 202 now! Yeah your advice has been fantastic, now I have a favour to ask you, how do you fell about coming up here & having a match with me?
*Mumbling.*
S: Great I will see you then, bring your A-Game buddy!
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Post by *"@-BoMb" R.I.P Deus/Dinobot on Mar 7, 2005 1:27:14 GMT -5
*Clip of Stevie puking early in the morning*
*later that day*
*A-Bomb, Stevie, Mprox, and Dave are sitting on the couch watching a movie at Addy and Stevie's house. Mprox is eating pretzels and washing it down with soda trying not to run off to find a beer. A-Bomb is on the phone ordering a pizza.
A-Bomb:Hey, Stevie do you mind if I get mushrooms on the pepperoni pizza!?
Stevie:I...I...I don't know leave me alone!!!*runs off crying to the bedroom and slams the door*
*Everybody is looking at A-Bomb*
Dave:What the f*** was that!?
A-Bomb:I don't know....and watch your mouth! No steak sauce before bed for you young man!*back on the phone* Yeah, make that a pepperoni and mushroom. It better have extra cheese or you will feel the POOOOOUNCCE! Exclamation! Have a nice day.*hangs up*
*this should be interesting keep watching*
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Post by DSR on Mar 7, 2005 1:46:25 GMT -5
Breaking Kayfabe:
I already know where you're going. Call me when this angle's over.
Fixing Kayfabe:
*DSR is seen in the back with Hoss Matthews.
Hoss: "DSR I've got something to ask you. You recently referred to JZBadBlood, EWT World Champ, as a glorified backyarder, and he just recently beat Kurt Angle in what many consider a technical wrestling classic. What are your thoughts?"
DSR: "Y'know, I honestly don't give a s*** about JZBadBlood. Yeah, he can sorta, almost GO in terms of a pure wrestling match. Hey, that's just great. But he still hasn't beat me. One schmozz and one clusterf*** do not a legendary champion make! And all the jobber squash matches in the world ain't gonna change that. When I get my hands on JZ in a pure wrestling match, I'm gonna make him tap or I'm gonna pin him. It's as simple as that! Cause there ain't no one in EWT that's better than ME! You wanna prove me wrong, that's fantastic! I welcome your attempt! But that's all it's gonna be is an attempt, cause you ain't nowhere near my league, son. And when it's all said and done, I'll be the one with my hand raised. Cause I am BETTER than you!"
*DSR walks off.
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Post by *"@-BoMb" R.I.P Deus/Dinobot on Mar 7, 2005 1:53:51 GMT -5
BK: It doesn't take a rocket scientist DSR. Just keep watching I have crazy stuff planned for this obvious angle.
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Post by DSR on Mar 7, 2005 1:56:43 GMT -5
BK: *groan*
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Post by *"@-BoMb" R.I.P Deus/Dinobot on Mar 7, 2005 1:59:44 GMT -5
BK:I guess you shouldn't drank that milk so late at night. You should get that groan checked out by a doctor. I'm happy to hear your groans of anticipation...it will be fun.*hopes to make DSR puke*
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Mar 7, 2005 2:23:25 GMT -5
SHOCKWAVE
*Spaz’s music hits & he makes his way to the ring. To mainly boos but a few cheers can be heard.*
Announcer: Weighing in at 202lbs, from Sydney, Australia he is the man called Spaz!!
*Spaz enters the ring & snatches the mic away from the announcer.*
S: Some of you may have noticed a bit of a change in my appearance over recent weeks, you see to be the sort of wrestler I want to be I needed to build up muscle, the difference is that unlike a lot of guys I wanted to do it naturally. So I asked a friend of mine to help me out. This man is here tonight for a match with me, this will be my ultimate test.
*Familiar music hits, the crowd goes wild.*
S: Weighing in at 220lbs, from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada he is the Canadian Crippler Chris Benoit!!
*Benoit makes his way to the ring, he enters the ring & hugs Spaz. The bell then rings for the match to get underway.*
*The two lock up & Benoit gets the upper hand, he then hits a Snap Suplex. Spaz is up quickly & locks his hands around Benoit’s waist & hits a Bridging German Suplex for a 2 count. Benoit rises & gives Spaz a nod of approval. They lock up again & Spaz takes Benoit to the ground with a headlock takedown, he is then up quickly & looking to lock in the Texas Cloverleaf, Benoit manages to fight off the Clover leaf & kicks Spaz into the corner. Benoit is quickly over at Spaz, chopping him hard on the chest after 3 chops Spaz starts to fight back with chops of his own & gets out of the corner, he grabs hold of Benoit’s arm & whips him hard sternum first into the TB & again into the opposite TB. Benoit is now is a bit of pain, he is rubbing his chest trying to get the blood flowing again. Spaz taunts the crowd & Benoit rises behind him, locking onto his waist he hits a German Suplex, followed by another & another Benoit then covers Spaz for a 2 count. Both men get up & start chopping each other again. Spaz gets the advantage & hits a Down Under DDT on Benoit & gets a 2 count of his own. Spaz grabs Benoit by the head & starts to pull him to his feet but Benoit is playing possum & grabs Spaz’s legs, flips him onto his back & locks in the Sharpshooter. The crowd goes crazy as it looks like Spaz will tap out. In a desperate lunge he reaches the bottom rope & Benoit releases. Spaz’s back is now obviously damaged. Benoit sees this & picks Spaz up & hits 3 more Germans on Spaz. Benoit rises after the 3rd & makes the cutthroat motion, to the delight of the crowd, he then heads for the corner. Benoit climbs to the top & lands a big Diving Headbutt on Spaz. Benoit rolls over for the cover 1-2-NO Spaz kicks out somehow & begins to get up both men get to a vertical base at the same time & begin to trade chops again, both men’s chests are now a bright shade of red from all the chops. Spaz manages to grab Benoit & hit a Sidewalk Slam. Spaz rises & heads to the corner, he mounts the Turnbuckle & signals to all the Spazphiles in the arena, he then hits a Shooting Star Press, he goes for the cover, 1-2-KICKOUT. The crowd cheer wildly as Benoit kicks out. Both men are down & the ref starts the count, he gets to 8 & Spaz rises he then picks Benoit up & chops him backwards into the ropes. Spaz then picks him up for the Platinum Shockwave, Benoit appears to be out & Spaz crumples into a heap beside him, he then manages to drape the arm over for the cover 1-2-ROPEBREAK, Benoit has somehow managed to get his leg up on the rope. Spaz groggily gets up & drags Benoit away from the ropes. He then puts Benoit into a Texas Cloverleaf, Benoit struggles around in pain & looks like he is about to tap when with a burst of adrenaline kicks Spaz off. The crowd go crazy again as Benoit rises to his feet & both men stand & look at each other for a second as the crowd give both men a huge ovation. Spaz then advances towards Benoit but Benoit is ready for him & he grabs his arm, takes him to the ground & locks on the Crippler Crossface. Spaz starts to scream in pain & reaches out for the rope, but it isn’t there as they two men are in the very centre of the ring. Spaz is helpless as Benoit continues the pressure on Spaz’s left shoulder which is still not at 100%. Spaz tries to pull Benoit’s hands off his face but to no avail & after about 25 seconds he is forced to tap out. Benoit releases the hold & the crowd goes ballistic & as Benoit rises to his feet to get his hand raised by the ref. He then turns & looks at Spaz who is rising to his feet & he turns & starts clapping. Spaz walks up And raises Benoit’s hand in the & both men receive a great ovation. Benoit calls for a mic.*
Benoit: Spaz, you came very close to beating me at my own game today. If you continue to wrestle like that I have no doubt that you will have a title around your waist here in the EWT in the very near future, I don’t believe that anyone here in the EWT can match you for technical ability.
*Benoit then drops the mic & both men leave the ring together, the stop at the top of the ramp & raise eachother’s in a final salute for the crowd before they head behind the curtain.*
BK: Any feedback on this match is appreciated guys positive or negative.
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Post by THE Dinobot on Mar 7, 2005 2:47:41 GMT -5
BK: Good match, Spaz, . Liked the idea of putting Benoit in the Texas Cloverleaf, witch is my favorite submission move. But, yeah, it was more then the Cloverleaf that made it great.
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Mar 7, 2005 11:33:32 GMT -5
*Toomi Bischoff walks backstage & heads on over to the match board. Everybody is unaware of what the official brackets are, but they may have an idea after today. Toomi starts to write things down for all to see & prepare for.* DSR versus HitmanMark
fettster versus Botchberg
Marcel Adams versus mystery opponent
Booker T versus Spaz
Billy Ubermark versus Moxie
HM Myles versus Heartbreat Hitman Bret Micheals
Dave Davies versus obi
dorf versus Addy Bomb
BK: Some of you have mail. Go ahead & cut promo's NOW!!!
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Post by invaderdave on Mar 7, 2005 12:03:39 GMT -5
At a press conference, Dave, Addy, Stevie, and MProx sit at the press table, as reporters and journalists and the like sit in the crowd.
Addy: Okay, the Nation of Devastation is open for questions.
Sam Donaldson: What are your responses to the opponents listed for you?
Dave: Well, it's pretty obvious I'm gonna f*** Obi up.
Addy: Lemme speak on this. Dorf, you better go back to your mother country Commie boy, cause I'm gonna play the Daddy County, and take of my strap and beat you good. And if that don't work, The Beta Male is gonna make sure you feel da POOOOOOOOOUUUUUNNCCEE-uh--Exclamation point.
Barbara Walters: David Davies and Addy Bomb, what wiw happen if you two end up facing eachothew?
Addy: Hey, if it happens, it happens. We're still bros.
Dave: Same here.
Diane Sawyer: Can you comment about your recent visit to Cancun and the rumor that you killed a hooker?
Dave: No I can't. This press conference is over.
Dave gets up, and shuffles past his friends, and off camera. The fire alarm goes off.
Dave: Whoop, fire exit.
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Post by obi on Mar 7, 2005 12:31:02 GMT -5
Obi: dave davies, your ass is mine. so me and fett are giving you an offer. join FX now...or die. Easy as that.
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jzbadblood
Unicron
Christ, man. Can't you see what's happening? Can't you read between the lines?
Posts: 3,052
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Post by jzbadblood on Mar 7, 2005 12:53:51 GMT -5
Jz: DSR, I don't want to prove you wrong. I never have. The only reason why I even acklowedge your pitiful existance is the World Title that you so determinedly want just happens to be around my waist, but if you win this tournament and become the number 1 contender...then I'll have no choice but to leave you in a puddle of embarassment.
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Post by Bobafett on Mar 7, 2005 14:18:15 GMT -5
(Fett and Obi walk to the centre of the ring..Fett with mic in hand) Fett: we promised you we'd reveal a new member of FX..and now is the time..Obi..over to you Obi: Ok ladies..he's the ultimate Hardcore (fett concels a laugh) Legend..so I introduce..accompanied by his manager Princess Penelope...the current FX Hardcore Champion (Music hits..sounds like....porno music..) Obi: "Wildman" Randy West!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Wildman walks to the ring..grabs a mic..) Wildman: Mercy daddy! Mercy mama! Toomi what are you doing? FX are he finest bunch of guys that ever stepped into the ring..and what do you do? you bury em..well toomi you know what I'm gonna do to you, you maggot, you creep, You little baby face wimp! I'm gonna break your pencil neck! I'm gonna beat your brains out! I'm gonna hit you so hard when you wake up your clothes are gonna be out of style! I'm gonna tear your head off and spit down your neck! I'm gonna rip off your d*** and make you wear it as a bowtie! Fool you understand me?! FX are here to stay!!!!!!!!! (the crowd pops bigtme as screen fades to black)
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Post by Moxie loves Natalie on Mar 7, 2005 16:17:32 GMT -5
Moxie is seen in the PR training room, locking in a scorpion deathlock onto an unknown wrestler.
Moxie: SCREAM FOR IT!
Unknown: AHHHHHH!!!!!! OKAY!!!
Moxie releases the hold and goes towards the camera.
Moxie: A desperate prayer, is all that has been said. Moxie moves through the tournament, another legend dead.
For a long time, I have wanted to share my pain, the soothsayer of the Prophecy Reborn has an opportunity for the heralding gain.
Moxie holds his Tri-State Title up to the camera.
Moxie: Do you see this Billy?.... Look at it. It's a championship. It's the most prestigious championship in the EWT today. Held only by two people, myself, and my mentor HitmanMark. The greatest of the great have held championships. And, your looking at the next EWT Icon. The Tag Team titles were the first step in the gain of the soothsayer, and next, was the Tri-State Championship. Your looking at a living enigma, Ubermark. I remember when I was like you, just another wrestler trying to make my way. Over time, I garnered powerful friends, million-dollar friends infact, and over time, I gained that run as a Tag Team Champion. But the difference now, Ubermark is simple. I'm a hardened veteran. I spend hours upon hours training each day, I live to wrestle, I am the next Generation of superstar. I am EWT homegrown, and always will be. You, are nothing but a fly in the web of the Black Widow. I'll warn you once, don't be on the wrong end... of a desperate prayer.
The cameras fade to black as we go to commercial
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random poster
Mephisto
..................... brrrraaaaaaaiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnssssss .....................
Posts: 666
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Post by random poster on Mar 7, 2005 17:26:59 GMT -5
the ewt cameras catch up to mprox: blurred version again at his paintball arena, as before he's stood watching two teams battle it out, "william, william, william.... what is wrong with you, cant work a video? must be to do with that fear you have of sticking things into holes, but seriously.... you have a tournament to wrestle in, i have this to run, you keep talking trash about me god alone knows where its going to end up..... *takes out a paintball gun and guns down half of the team easily from that vantage point* well you see i used to get paid in bottles of jd by toomi, dont need that stuff now, dont need to be wrestling due to the fact that i can release a bit of anger when i need to *takes out half of the other team* life is easier for me now, no traveling, no fans screaming that i suck in the ring, no toom ordering me around, but if you keep playing with yourself while thinking about me i might just turn up and show you how to use your hands properly........ *camera crew burst into laughter upon hearing that* ok i ment to defend yourself, damn perverts, *shoots the camera guy in the nuts, who falls to the floor.* well i did say dont wear shorts dumbass ... anyway william dont drag me back into the game, because you want a career. ive had mine. the camera cuts off.
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jzbadblood
Unicron
Christ, man. Can't you see what's happening? Can't you read between the lines?
Posts: 3,052
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Post by jzbadblood on Mar 7, 2005 17:37:02 GMT -5
Jzbadblood is standing by.
Jz: I've been watching all of these young hopefulls move up the bracket and cut their little promos...well children, all I can say is carry on carry on. Keep going, but deep down you all known that only one of you can win, and most importantly you know in your heart that it probably isn't you.
Jz laughs like a maniac before we fade to commericals.
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Post by *"@-BoMb" R.I.P Deus/Dinobot on Mar 7, 2005 17:42:11 GMT -5
^^^^^^ BK:LMAO that was hilarious mprox *Addy is backstage in front of the EWT logo* Todd :What are thoughts on your up coming match against Dorf? Addy:The Master of the Serenghetto is going to go out there a smash that no charisma having commie.*imitates Dorf* Look at me I'm a commie....hate me! OOH! I have heel heat now! Watch me march to the ring while sucking up the heat of fans walking to the bathroom to take a squat!He's not even a stepping stone on my path to success...matter of fact that's a step back. Either way he will still get the Poooooounce'uh! Exclamation Mark!!!
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Post by THE Dinobot on Mar 7, 2005 18:01:44 GMT -5
BK: Great comment on making fun of The Commies, A-Bomb, we really do want the cheapest heel heat around here.....if not, you'll go to our camps hahaha.
BiK:
Marcel, Dorf, and Fuzzy are backstage looking over the newest brackets.
Marcel: Mystery opponent? I thought I told that judus-like Toomi that I WILL be facing psychoapeguy. Who the Hell is he to just choose some random jow schmo off the streets to face a legend like me. It's psychoapeguy or no one. Don't get me wrong, I can beat anyone he puts me in the ring with. But, apeguy already advanced....sure, thanks to me, but he's still me offical opponent, not some unknown jackass.
Fuzzy: Maybe you should just calm down, Marcel.
Marcel: CALM DOWN!?! You're telling me to calm down? WHO the Hell are you to even begin to even to start telling me to do anything. If it wasn't for guys like me, guys like you and half of the others here in EWT and around the world wouldn't even thought about lacing up a pair of boots. So, Fuzzy, you don't even tell me what to do. This is about ME!
Dorf: Fuzzy, let me speak to him. I'm closer then you are.
Fuzzy goes out to the hallway while Marcel and Dorf talk.
Dorf: No reason to jump down Fuzzy's throat about Toomi's ignorance. We all know that you can beat whomever he choses for you.
Marcel: That's not the point. The point is, I went out of my way, to make damn sure that Triple H was injured enough so apeguy would have an easy advance and I could finally get my hands on him and beat him 1-2-3, and then, climb my way closer to the number one contender's spot.
Dorf: Hey, forget all of that. Remember, you're Marcel Adams, the only legend around here. You wont have a problem defeating anyone in this tournament......besides me. *smiles*
Marcel: Get out.....get out now.
Dorf walks out into the hallway where Fuzzy was at, and they walk away.
Marcel stays in the locker room, looking over the intire roster and who hasn't been in the tournament, thinking who is opponent may be.
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Post by Bobafett on Mar 7, 2005 18:01:53 GMT -5
(Fett is sitting on a chair getting some..lip lock from Princess Penelope)
Fett: Botchberg, you can do one of 2 things..Join FX..or lose, join FX and you get special all star treatment, don't and..well yo'll be crushed under the FX tank..simple..hey..Princess.youre good..very good..
(fades to black)
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