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Post by Toom E. Guci on Jan 2, 2006 9:09:03 GMT -5
*Toom E Dangerously is going over some final notes of the pay per view, making sure all the media hype is taken care of. He hangs up the phone as he finishes typing up a memo:*
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Post by kokobware3 on Jan 2, 2006 9:27:33 GMT -5
Ladies and Gentleman Now introducing the Newest member of EWT......DOCTOR INSANEO. Sugar Hill Gang's Jump on it blares through the sound system. A man walks down to the ring with white shoes, with baggy blues pants and in pink DOCTOR reads down the left side of his pants and INSANEO reads down the right in pink. He hops over the ropes and grabs a microphone. Insaneo- Ladies and Gentlemen yes it's the one and only Doctor Insaneo. Who am i you ask? Well im The Doctor of wrestling. Yes Isaneo is the name being insane is the game. Why am i a doctor is your next question? Because every time i step into this ring i always hand out THE CURE. Yes in the first match i have i will win and my diagnosis will be...well being insane everybody. Thank you and have a great day.
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Post by Trik Turner on Jan 2, 2006 11:08:07 GMT -5
(The announcer stands in the ring, ready to begin.)
This next contest is scheduled for one fall. Making his way to the ring first is that ever loving superhero, Hurricane. And his opponent at this time is the newest sensation to hit the EWT...Trik Turner.
(Hurricane stands in the ring as Trik comes running to the ring. Trik slides under the bottom ropes to little fan reaction. Trik, frustrated, attacks Hurricane before the bell. Trik throws Hurricane into the turnbuckle & charges at him. Hurricane manages a flip out of the corner & climbs the top rope, where he hits a dazed Trik with a missile dropkick. Hurricane gets to his feet as Trik staggers on his knee. Hurricane goes for a Shining Wizard, but Trik manages a duck. Trik gets to his feet where he hits a dropkick to Hurricane. Trik lifts up Hurricane & throws him into the ropes, nailing a spinning heel kick. Trik gets to his feet & grabs Hurricane, where he places his head between his knees. Trik leaps into the air, nailing Hurricane with the Trik Turner aka Canadian Destroyer. Trik goes for the cover & gets the 1-2-3.)
(The referee raises Trik's hand but Trik pulls away & yells for the microphone.)
This is just an example of what is yet to come. Love me. Hate me. You will learn to respect me. As will the one I want. For years, I watched him. And now that he's back, I want him. And soon enough, I will get my shot. Forget championships right now. I don't need them. You will see what I have to offer for I am more then meets the eye. I'm Trik Turner.
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Post by crauswell on Jan 2, 2006 11:14:13 GMT -5
Gary Micheal Cappetta is standing by with Crauswell... who isn't even moving.
Gary Micheal Cappetta: Hello again everyone... I'm here to get a scoop on the newest... and possibly most dominant EWT Superstar to ever debut. Mr Crauswell...
Crauswell: Please... call me Crauswell. I don't call you Mr Gary Cappetta do I?
Cappeta: Well I suppose not. Anyway... tell me, why Theo Rumm? What did he do to you?!
The gryphon headed man turns slowly to Micheal.
Crauswell: WHAT DID HE DO TO ME?! Well... let's start... first of all... he humiliated me. I am not a rendition of the Gobbeldy Gooker... though I respect the man, I am NOTHING like he is. To refer to me as that... well that's a worse insult then burning all my stuffed animals when I was a kid. What... did my mom think was going to...
Cappetta: Please... I really don't want to know...
Crauswell swiftly turns around.
Crauswell: THAT is exactly the behavior and presumption I came here to stop. Just as Billy " The Virgin " Ubermark came to gain respect for virgins... or A-Bomb, who came to strike a blow for homosexuality... or even Curly Long... who, well I'm not sure if he represents Midgets... but the point is, I am sick and tired of being accussed just because I am a Furry.
Cappetta: Sorry... sorry... I'm just curious is all. And why wrestling? Why the EWT?!
Crauswell: Were you not listening? I said the EWT already has three groups represented... I am the fourth. This interview is over... get out of my face... before I break it you pompous man.
The Gryphon guy walks off slowly. Cappetta looks back at the camera.
Cappetta: Erm... I guess that's it for now!
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Jan 2, 2006 12:23:24 GMT -5
LILLIAN: The following contest is scheduled for one fall.
*Just Close Your Eyes plays as Linda and Tanya enter and head to the ring.*
LILLIAN: Making their way to the ring, they are the team of Tanya Flaire and Linda RAGNAL!
*As they enter the ring, Ich Will plays as Chrysta, Ms. White, and Holly enter, Chrysta and Ms. White wearing blue versions of the Connection robes, and they each hold their arms up in prayer.*
LILLIAN: Being accompanied to the ring by Ms. White, they are the team of Holly Vaughn and Chrysta Ragnal…the CONNECTION!
*Chants of “SHE’S NO RAGNAL!” fill the arena as the three enter the ring. Just before they can take their robes off, Linda and Tanya attack Chrysta and Holly, Ms. White standing outside by a corner post. The ref breaks up Tanya and Chrysta and sends them to their corners, leaving Holly and Linda in the ring. Linda punches Holly in the face a few times, then whips her into the ropes and lands a standing dropkick on her. Linda drops a few elbows on Holly and then picks her up and whips her into a corner. Linda charges at Holly, but she elbows Linda in the stomach. Linda staggers backwards, allowing Holly to land a modified swinging neckbreaker. Holly tags Chrysta into the match, and Chrysta applies a Camel Clutch to Linda. After a few seconds Tanya gets in the ring to break the hold, then heads back to her corner. Chrysta picks Linda up and whips her into a corner, but Linda counters with a crossbody into a pin, but the pin reverses to Chrysta pinning her.*
1!2!
*Linda quickly kicks out. Chrysta picks her up again and whips her to the ropes, but Linda counters the whip and whips Chrysta instead, and connects with a titl-a-whirl into a backbreaker. Linda runs to the ropes and lands a Lionsault on Chrysta to pin.*
1!2!
*Kickout by Chrysta. Linda leaves Chrysta where she is and tags in Tanya, who lands a springboard legdrop on Chrysta’s stomach. Tanya kicks at Chrysta a few times, then picks her up and lands a neckbreaker on her. Tanya climbs to the top rope for a flying elbow drop, but Chrysta rolls out of the way and hits the ring canvas. Chrysta gets up and tags in Holly. Both women stand on opposite ends of Tanya, Holly in front and Chrysta behind. As Tanya gets up off the ground, both Connection females hit a clothesline to either end of Tanya’s head, knocking her back down and observing passively. Chrysta heads back to her corner and Holly takes the pin.*
1!2!
*Tanya kicks out. Holly picks Tanya up and knees her in the gut a few times, then goes for a vertical suplex, but Tanya slides out and hits a Russian Leg Sweep on Holly. Tanya runs to the ropes again and lands the Napalm Death on Holly and pins.*
1!2!
*Holly kicks out. Tanya picks Holly up and whips her into the ropes and looks for a dropkick, but Holly grabs the ropes before she bounces off. Holly hits a running elbow drop before Tanya can pick herself up. Holly tags in Chrysta, who goes to the top rope and lands the Falling Icicle on Tanya. Chrysta then calmly motions for Holly to approach her and a downed opponent. Chrysta holds her arms out, and gives Holly a boost, aiding a standing moonsault. Holly and Chrysta then both hold their arms out in prayer, Chrysta on her feet, Holly kneeling over her opponent. Holly goes back to the corner, and Chrysta picks Tanya up for a protobomb, but Tanya reverses it into a Burning Wheel Drop. Both competitors are down, and the ref starts to count.*
1!
2!
3!
4!
5!
6!
7!
*They crawl to their respective corners and tag in their partners. Holly and Linda rush at one another and Linda clotheslines her down. Chrysta rushes at her and Linda clotheslines her down. Holly gets back up and Linda punches her in the face, whips her into the ropes, and hits a running head scissors on her. Linda runs to the ropes and hits a Tidal Wave on her. Linda gets up and signals for the Down Pour and climbs to the ropes, but Chrysta grabs her off of the turnbuckles and into the Frostbite. The ref orders her to take the hold off, and Chrysta shoves Linda into Holly for the Final Connection and the pin.*
1!2!3!
*The bell rings and the Connection Females makes their way up the ramp, looking back at the damage they did. Tanya goes to Linda and checks on her as we fade to black.
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Post by paulpodanski on Jan 2, 2006 12:35:37 GMT -5
The following contest is scheduled for one fall... and it is for the EWT Toolshed Championship!
Cactus Jack's music starts up and the crowd pops pretty loudly as he wanders out to the ring.
Announcer: Introducing the challenger... from Long Island New York, weighing in at 297 pounds, Cactus Jack!!!
Jack slides into the ring and awaits his opponent.
Suddenly, Let the Bodies Hit the Floor starts up and Paul Podanski charges out to the stage... swinging his weapon bag around, belt again around his neck as the crowd cheers.
Announcer: And from Birmingham Alabama, weighing in at 312 pounds, Paul Podanski!!!
Paul salutes the crowd, dashes down the ramp and again slides into the ring. Meanwhile, you can see Momma Podanski in the front row. Drops drops his bag and looks at Cactus... the two lock eyes.
Cactus immediately charges forward and goes for a clothesline, but Paul ducks underneath, Jack running back off the ropes and right into a hip toss from Podanski. He runs forward and mounts Jack and starts giving him some stiff punches to his face... Jack groaning and trying to escape from underneath, but Paul isn't letting him.
He eventually gets off Jack and walks over to his bag... pulling out... a guitar! Paul looms over Jack as he rises up and waits for him to get up, he eventually does. Paul swings, but he misses as Cactus ducks underneath. He counters with a kick to sternum, causing Paul to drop the guitar. Jack then gives him a DDT right atop of it... smashing it to pieces! The crowd cheers as Cactus goes for a cover. 1...2....
But Paul kicks out. Cactus looks a bit surprised. He stomps at Paul a bit to soften him up, then leaps up with an elbow drop to his chest, Paul groaning as it connects, He rolls around... as Cactus walks over to Paul's bag now... digging out a chain! He swings it around like a Maniac as the crowd pops. Paul gets to his feet again, turning around just in time to receive a fist wrapped with chain to his face, causing him to reel back. He groans, then gets another one... followed by another. By now, he's been busted wide open.
Jack charges forward and goes for a clothesline, but Paul catches him into a Spinebuster!!! He groans and goes for a quick cover. 1....2.....
But Cactus kicks out this time. Paul gets back to his feet, lifting Jack up as well and tossing him out of the ring. Cactus groans as Paul backs up, then charges forward, vaulting over the top somehow and crashing right atop of Jack!!! The crowd cheers as Paul goes for another cover. 1...2....
But Cactus gets the shoulder up this time. Paul looks down at him... then at the Chinese Announce Table. He rolls Jack onto it... then points to the turnbuckle!!! The crowd goes nuts. Paul quickly starts climbing up to the top... Cactus seems down and out now.
Paul immediately leaps forward, going for the Appaulachian mountain Splash... JACK ROLLS OUT THE WAY!!! Paul acks and lands hard on the table, bringing it down. The crowd starts chanting Holy S*** Holy S*** Holy S***!!! Paul groans and rolls around as Cactus walks over and goes for a cover. 1.....2......
NO! Paul again manages to get the shoulder up. Cactus looks pretty surprised. But suddenly he gets a crazy look in his eyes. He walks over to the Tibetan Announce Table and reaches underneath... pulling out.... Barbie!!! The 2x4 wrapped in barb wire! The crowd goes nuts again.
Paul groans and slowly rises to his feet... looking right at Cactus whose got the weapon and looks a bit shocked. Cactus charges forward and swings, Paul ducking underneath again as Cactus instead hits the barbwire. Paul swings around him and lifts him up from behind... for a full nelson slam... but Cactus out of desperation swings the 2x4 behind him... and connects with Paul's skull!!! Paul yelps in pain... wearing a crimson mask now. He slowly staggers backwards, dropping Jack.
Cactus looks to go for another swing with it... right over Paul's back. This sends him back down to the floor on the outside. The crowd is still shocked at what they are seeing. Cactus looks back over at Paul's bag... rolling inside and digging around inside while Paul lays prone and pulls out... A box of thumbtacks!!! The crowd pops again as Cactus starts spreading them all throughout the ring. He doesn't stop till the box is empty.
Paul meanwhile struggles to his feet... unaware of what is going on. He looks over and sees Jack. But not the thumbtacks. He blindly enters the ring, Cactus charging forward immediately and knocking him back over the top rope with Barbie!!! Paul hits the outside hard.
Jack once again slides out of the ring... hoisting Paul up to his feet, but Paul desperately starts fighting back with some fists to his gut, causing Jack to hunch over. Paul then hoists him up high and into a one man flapjack to the mat!!! He goes for a another cover. 1....2.....
But Cactus gets the shoulder up once again. Paul continues to get more and more Frustrated. He gets to his feet... reaching under the ring and pulling out... a table!!! The crowd starts chanting " We want tables!!! " for no reason.
Paul take sthe table and then sets it up against the ringpost on the outside... then looks down at Jack. He picks up Barbie... which he dropped, waiting for him to rise up. Jack does, then gets 2x4 to the face as Paul swings. Jack stumbles back... almost falling down... but Paul not allowing it. He instead picks him up high, turning around and powerbombing him... right into the TABLE!!! Jack crashes through it... head hitting the ringpost.
The crowd chants again " Holy S***!!! Holy S***!!! Holy S***!!! Paul wipes his brow then again goes for another cover on an also busted open Cactus Jack. 1....2....
NOOOOO!!! Somehow... someway Cactus gets the shoulder up! Paul looks absolutely shocked. He hoists Cactus to his feet again... back into the ring. He eyes the thumbnails... then hoists Cactus up high... spinning 1...2....3....4...5....6..7!!! He slams Jack hard into the thumbtacks with the Paulerbomb and goes for one more cover. 1......2.......
3!!! And the match is over.
Announcer: Here is your winner... and still the Toolshed Champion... Paul Podanski!!!
Paul grabs his belt again, wraps it around his neck and looks over at his momma... only to see something else!
While the match was transpiring, "Delicious" Dick Slater made his way to ringside near Paul Podanski's momma! He takes an ice cube from his apron and rubs his nipple until it gets harder than a fourteen year old at an Ashlee Simpson concert. He also takes an orange from his apron and begins to grind it against the cold nip. Oh BAH GAWD! The orange juice is trickling down Dick into a glass in his apron! Dick hands Momma Podanski the glass and...uhhhhhp...wait for it....wait for it....SHE DRINKS IT!
Paul doesn't waste anytime, somehow hopping over the ropes and chasing after Slater. Dick turns around and runs like the out of shape man he is... escaping through the crowd. Paul follows after him.
Fade to commercial.
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Post by #Classic Hi-Definition X on Jan 2, 2006 12:46:10 GMT -5
Ring Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. *"Sexy Guy" hits* RA: Introducing first, being accompanied by Rosa, the Heartbreak Hitman Bret Michaels! *HBH walks out with Rosa by his side as always. The crowd is filled with boos* RA: And his opponent, he is the "Ravishing" Rick Rude! *Rick Rude walks out and gets a nice reception. HBH grabs a mic* HBH: First of all, let me say that it is an honor to be in the same ring as you. You were one of the people I looked up to when I was a kid. And it'll be that much sweeter when I pin you in the middle of this ring. *Crowd boos* The bell rings to start the match. HBH and Rude lock up. HBH breaks it up with a kick to the mid-section. He then lands a few more kicks and punches. He attempts to whip Rude to the ropes, but Rude reverses it. He hits HBH with a chop. He picks him up and body slams him. After hitting a knee drop to the head, he goes for an early pin. 1... 2... HBH kicks out. Rude picks him up and is surprised with a jawbreaker. HBH capitalizes with a DDT. He picks up Rude and takes him into the corner. He pummels him, then runs at him with a dropkick. HBH then hits him with a slingshot suplex. After hitting a diving elbow from the second rope, he covers him. 1... 2... Rude kicks out. HBH does a snapmare followed by a pullover neckbreaker. He applies a leg lock. Rude fights it and eventually reaches the ropes. HBH breaks it and stomps away. He picks him up and whips him to the ropes. He misses an attempted clothesline. Rude then hits him with a flying shoulder block. The ref starts the 10 count. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Both men are now up. They exchange punches until Rude gets the upper hand. He whips HBH to the ropes and hits a back body drop. He follows that up with a couple of armdrags and a swinging neckbreaker. He goes for the cover. 1... 2... HBH kicks out. Rude picks him up and hits a gorilla press slam. He climbs the ropes looking for a splash. He jumps off, but HBH rolls out of the way. HBH then connects with Sweet Chin Muzak and pins him. 1... 2... 3! *Bell rings* RA: Here is your winner, the Heartbreak Hitman Bret Michaels! *HBH grabs a mic* HBH: Now that was just a taste of what all those participating in the Survival Cage match can expect. All those who are standing in my way of getting to the EWT Heavyweight title will feel some Sweet Chin Muzak! *Crowd boos as HBH and Rosa walk to the back. Then the lights go out and a message appears on the Toomitron* THE GAS-POWERED MONSTER RETURNS JANUARY 9 *The crowd cheers loudly and the lights come back on* *Cut to next segment*
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Post by Ultimo Chocula on Jan 2, 2006 13:44:14 GMT -5
(Moniqua Morricone comes out from the back carrying Fru Fru to assorted hoots and whistles. She gets into the ring and walks around the ring slowly letting everybody get a good eyeful of her before taking the mic.)
Moniqua: "Caio, everyone! Consider yourselves fortunate because tonight, after much anticipation, you all shall be treated with the in ring debut of my two boys, William and Signore Chocula! I'm so excited! Aren't you, precious?"
Fru Fru: "Yip!"
Moniqua: "I know you are my little darling! So with out any further ado, ladies and gentlemen I give you........THE HANDSOME BOY MODELING SCHOOL!"
("Look At This Face" plays over the PA and multiple flash bulbs go off around the arena. Billy and UC come out from behind the curtain walking cool as hell down the ramp as Moniqua makes the introduction."
Moniqua: "Look at these two wonderful boys, in their Filipe Guzman tailored ring trunks with matching boots. At a retail price of $584 you can bet victory has never looked this good!"
(UC and Billy get into the ring and do several poses for the crowd, who are not enjoying this one little bit. Billy gets on the mic and is about to speak when UC stops him.)
UC: "Hold on."
Crowd: "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"
UC: "They like to do that. Go ahead."
Billy: "That's right everyone! Take a good hard look at the new Billy!"
Moniqua: "William! You are no longer called Billy!"
Billy: "Oh, right. Even so, check me out! I've never looked better! I've always been the top draw in this company ring wise. Despite people trying to hold me back because of my virginity, I've managed to make a pretty good name for myself. But now that Moniqua has made me over, my good name just got better. All the goals I've set are about to become a reality! All those dreams I've had.... they're about to come true! Commissioner Dangerously has approved me as one of the competitors for the big Survivor Cage match at Toomi's House Party II, and I've got my sites set on the E.W.T. Heavyweight Championship. At Toomi's House Party II in the Survivor Cage match, I'm going to cut a swath through three other men to get my hands on Moxie. When I do, I will give him a beating worse than the one I gave him last year in our legendary Scramble Cage match. I will make every square inch of his body ache, and when I am done, I WILL BECOME the NEW E.W.T. Heavyweight Champion. And then NOBODY will ever look down on me again for being a virgin!
(The fans start booing as Billy nods his head, and looks over the crowd with a beaming smile on his face. Moniqua comes up and puts her arm around Billy's shoulder for a moment to show her support of him. As she does so, the camera cuts to a quick glimps of a sign in the audience that reads "Handsome Boys Should Be Seen -- Not Heard!" The camera then cuts back to Billy in the ring.)
BU: "As for tonight, get ready! Because Ultimo and I plan on making short work of those two English dweebs! And when we do, you will all realize why we are the fastest-rising tag-team in the E.W.T.'s ranks, and why we will soon be taking the E.W.T. Tag-Team Title away from those second-rate punks, the Ragnals! Looks and skill! Nobody will be able to look at either of us the same again!"
(Billy hands over the mic to UC and he begins his usual diatribe.)
UC: (Looking down at himself) "Damn, I even make purple look good!"
Moniqua: "Signore Chocula! Your ring wear is not this 'purple' but 'Deep Viena Vineyard'! I told you this before!"
UC: "Whatever, honey. It looks purple to me."
Fru Fru: "Yip! Yip! Grrrrrrr!"
UC: "Ok, ok you little flea motel! It's.....whatever she said. Anyway, back in Milan while I was soaking up the culture and learning the fine art of lookin' fine, I was thinking. Why is it that nobody gives me any respect around here? Is it my good looks? Is it that big bulge in my pants? Is it the car I drive? I'll tell you, underlings! It's because every *BEEP!*ing slob in the back wants to be me! Pure and simple, you jaggoffs! Why do you think I was hand picked to be in the HBMS? Duh! It's because I'm hotter than five enchiladas! Tonight we make history! Tonight is the first big step toward taking the tag titles, and ain't no *BEEP!*ing body can do *BEEP!* about it, jack!"
(With that, the British Bulldogs come down to the ring and they are introduced. In the corner you can see the three HBMS members talking to each other about the Bulldogs' gaudy Union Jack sparkly capes. The bell rings and it appears Billy and Dynamite Kid will start things off.
They lock up and Billy gets the upperhand first with a knee lift to the stomach. He elbows Dynamite in the back of the head a couple times and sends him to the ropes. Billy leap frogs over him and hiptosses Dynamite on the rebound. Billy poses to the crowd as Dynamite stands back up. They square off again but Dynamite gets the upperhand this time. He punches Billy in the chest twice then sends him to the ropes for a hip toss of his own, but Billy reverses with a clothesline. Billy smiles and poses again to a chorus of boos. Dynamite gets his roid rage up and charges Billy, pummeling him with a series of fists. Dynamite body slams Billy and when he staggers up slams him again. Billy goes over to his corner and tags in UC. Likewise Dynamite tags in Davey Boy Smith.
The new guys lock up and Davey has the immediate advantage and armdrags UC down. UC gets back up and Davey armdrags him again. UC charges but gets a back body drop from Davey. UC scoots outside the ring for a meeting with Billy and Moniqua to discuss strategy but Davey reaches over and grabs UC by the hair and pulls him back into the ring. Davey sends UC into the ropes and goes for another back body drop but UC reverses with a sunset flip that Davey kicks right out of. Both men stand up and Davey tries for a punch, but UC blocks it pokes him in the eye. Davey staggers over to the ropes while UC gets his momentum up and blasts Davey with a running drop kick right in the beezer that sends Davey flying over the top rope to the outside. Billy jumps off the apron with an axe handle and begins to stomp on Davey. Dynamite runs into the ring to protest but the ref sends him back to his corner. Billy holds Davey in place as UC runs off the ropes and flies over blasting Davey with the Cannonball Run as Billy gets out of the way in time. Both men stand over the fallen Davey posing like they're looking at their watches.
UC throws Davey back into the ring, gives him a quick snap suplex, then hits a standing moonsault. UC tags in Billy and he goes to work on Davey with a jumping elbow drop. Billy hits Davey with a side back breaker and anothe ax handle to the back. Davey tries to crawl over to his side of the ring but Billy dropkicks him in the ribs and stops him. Billy tags in UC and the send Davey into the ropes and together they catch him, throw him up, and let him crash into the mat. UC puts Davey in a rear chin lock facing right at Dynamite. UC is yelling at Dynamite, calling him an ugly lug, and wearing down Davey. Davey begins to fight out of it and gets himself to a standing base. UC breaks the hold connects with a neckbreaker, then runs off the ropes with a quick legdrop. UC tags Billy back in and UC holds Davey's arms back as Billy wails on him with a series of kicks. Billy sends Davey into the ropes but Davey ducks a clothesline, then takes Billy down with a clothesline of his own.
Billy staggers up to his feet first and stops Davey from making the tag. He drags Davey all the way over to his side and tags in UC. Billy sets Davey up in a Tree Of Woe position. UC sends Billy into the corner and Billy spears an upside down Davey, then UC follows with a spear of his own. Davey slumps down from the buckles down to the mat. UC mounts the turnbuckles and gloats to the crowd. He then leaps off with a moonsault but Davey moves and UC goes splat. With the air knocked out of UC, Davey makes the tag to Dynamite and he comes in and lays into UC. Billy tries to come in but Dynamite clotheslines him down, then returns back to UC and sends him to the ropes for a powerslam. Dynamite climbs up to the top turnbuckle and motions towards the crowd. Moniqua senses trouble and jumps up on the ring apron distracting the ref. Billy grabs a chair and runs into the ring. Dynamite leaps off for a diving head butt when Billy drills him with the chair right in the mush. Dynamite hits the deck with a busted face and Billy ditches the chair. Moniqua gets off the apron as UC rises up and looks at Billy and they both smirk. UC tags Billy in then lifts Dynamite up for a reverse suplex. Billy puts his knee out right as Dynamite's stomach comes down and the air gets knocked right out of him, debuting their new double team finisher The Abdominisor. Billy makes the cover and it's an easy three.)
Lillian: "Here are your winners..............The Handsome Boy Modeling School!"
(Moniqua gets into the ring and raises UC and Billy's arms in victory. Fru Fru walks over to the fallen Dynamite and sniffs his head before lifting his leg and piddling on him. Once Fru Fru is done relieving himself he joins the other three as they walk back up the ramp to the decided displeasure of the crowd.)
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Post by HMARK Center on Jan 2, 2006 14:24:30 GMT -5
<A montage plays as an announcer speaks>
He is one of the most decorated superstars in the history of our sport. He has conquered the biggest promotions in the world, winning nearly every major title along the way.
<shots of HMark holding the WCF Title, and the EWT World, Tri-State, and Tag Titles>
He's taken on the best the world has to offer, including the biggest names in EWT history.
<shots of HMark, pre-Fallen Dragon days, in street clothes fighting off DSR, Double D, dorzia, $lim, A-Bomb, Merc, Jz, Ape, and others, making most of them tap to the Crappler Crossface or the Sharpshooter>
HMark: I built this company; I won the first ever Title match. I made it a WORLD Title. I gave the fans some of the greatest matches they've ever seen.
<shots of the first Escalator to Heaven match, the No Rope Barbed Wire match and Bayside High match with DSR, the steel cage with $lim, technical battle with the Dynamite Kid, and the 2 out of 3 falls match with D-Boy>
Announcer: At Toomi's House Party II, he seeks to reestablish his legacy, a legacy nearly lost in the passing sands of time.
Six men, five rings, one champion. Only on Post Per View.
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Curly Long
AC Slater
Midget Wrestling Master
Posts: 234
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Post by Curly Long on Jan 2, 2006 18:42:23 GMT -5
Back at ringside and Lillian Garcia has just finished announcing Perry Saturn who is heading to the ring ... he's looking in good shape and is keen to get this match underway as he tests the ropes
LILLIAN: and his opponent from Spread Eagle, Wisconsin ... he weighs at around 140 pounds ... he is a Scammy Award Winner for best Booker ... he is your Midget Champion ...
A loud chorus of boo's descend for that idea
LILLIAN: ... accomapnied by Mr. Big ... he is ... Curly Long!!
'Moving on Up' starts up and out comes Curly Long and Mr. Big under the red neon lights ... the Crowd immeadiatly starts chanting 'VLB' at him as Mr. Big climbs in the ring with Curly on his shoulders ... he grabs the mike ..
CURLY: Hey, kids miss me? ... whats that you didn't notice my lack of air time this week? ... well apparently some powers at be denied my rightful position on this show! ... Yes, your former GM can't even get some TV time ... but that won't matter, because once this PPV is over ... I will be OX Division champion!! ...
The crowd chants 'Die Curly, Die' but Curly ignores it as Mr. Big leaves the ring and watches from the outside his arms folded
CURLY: Yeah, Yeah, boo all you want but you know its true ... oh you want proof? Well tonight I'm going to put on a wrestling clinic for you ungrateful sewer pigs! ...... of course I was hoping for a great ring technician to ply my trade against, but Saturn here will have to do ...
Saturn looks visibly annoyed at that and tenses up in the corner
CURLY: Spaz ... don't worry about the others in the Gauntlet .. just worry about me!!
On that Curly throws the mike at Saturn
Bell Rings
Saturn covers his face to avoid the Mike ... which misses him and goes into the announce table area. Curly using the distraction runs to the side of Saturn who is still in the corner and climbs the turnbuckle ... Curly locks on a rear headlock .. he gives the finger to the fans and then hits a ... Diamond Dust! .. Curly goes for the cover ..
1,2,3 ....
Saturn barely kicks out ... Curly irritated puts the boots to his opponent, he then grabs Saturns arm and locks on an armbar ... Saturn is in severe pain as the pressure is applied but he manages to get to the ropes. The Referee breaks the hold .. Curly shouts at the referee ... this gives Saturn time to recover and nail Curly with a kick to the back of the head ... Saturn picks up Curly and hits a T-Bone Suplex! ... cover ..
1,2 ...
Curly kicks out, but Saturn smartly holds onto his diminutive opponent and tries to get a variant of the ankle lock applied ... but Curly wriggles out of the attempt and tries a quick roll-up ..
1,2 ..
Saturn kicks out and rolls to the ropes, as Curly encourages him to try his best. Saturninsulted by Curly's antagonistic nature, charges the midget attempting catch him for some sort of powermove , but Curly too fast for Saturn avoids the grab and headbutts Saturn under his chin. Saturn staggers clearly not suspecting such an attack. Curly not one to backdown, swiftly slides under Saturns legs and jumps on his back ... his arms locking around Saturns ... its a modified Cobra clutch! ... could this be the dreaded Curly Clutch? ... Saturn falls tot he ring mat. Saturn struggles for a while against Curly's grip but can't get Curly to release the hold! ... he taps out!
LILLIAN: Your winner ... Curly Long!!
The Bell rings, but Curly refuses to let go ... Saturn is turning blue as the timekeeper franticaly rings the bell .. eventually several Officials force him off .. the Crowd boo's loudly as Curly walks to the back with Mr. Big
(cut to promo video for the Triple Threat Ladder match for the EWT Tri-State Title between Shawn Micheals, Scott Hall and Maelstrom)
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Post by Koda, Master Crunchyroller on Jan 2, 2006 18:44:22 GMT -5
*The lights dim in the arena, causing the place to go pitch black. Then the screen lights up showing a video of a young man. A voice begins to speak, "fans of EWT, you may think you have seen crazy stuff before, but you have seen nothing! The most crazed wrestler ever in the history of EWT will soon arrive!". The voice goes away as they show random clips of the new wrestler's indy career. Then all of a sudden, the screen goes black again as the words, "Koda Kazar will cause chaos" slowly appear then disappear on the screen. The lights turn back on as the announcers are speechless for a moment.*
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,390
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Jan 2, 2006 19:45:32 GMT -5
*Cut to EN Bunk and Jason Maverick*
ENB: Dude, you really got the crap kicked out of you during my match, huh?
JM: Man....whatever. Look, that Bolt guy got a lucky shot on me, and if I ever get a chance, I'll beat him down!
ENB: Um.....OK. Look, I gotta go right now, I'm meeting someone for dinner. Wanna come?
JM: Nah, I had food before. I'll catch up with you later. Peace.
ENB: Later.
*As EN Bunk leaves, Bolt Bacana blindsides Jason Maverick, throwing him to a dumpster and hitting a running dropkick to the "sensitive areas".
BB: *sarcastic tone*When were you gonna beat me down? I think was.................NEVER PUNK!
Bolt resumes his beatdown, hitting him with a lead pipe right to the back of the knee, making Jason scream in pain. Bolt just looks down and smiles before swinging the pipe at the other knee. Scott Andrews comes out and Bolt runs away, leaving Maverick clutching his knees before being taken away by EMT's.
Andrews: Bolt is a dead man.
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Queen Rosa
Mike the Goon
All hail the queen!
Posts: 30
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Post by Queen Rosa on Jan 2, 2006 20:04:22 GMT -5
*Cut to ringside. “It’s My Time” hits*
Ring Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, being accompanied by the Heartbreak Hitman Bret Michaels, Rosa!
*Rosa walks out with a focused look on her face HBH behind her. The crowd is mostly booing. Then the lights go down and “Maritime” hits*
RA: And her opponent, Oceanic!
*Oceanic gets a good reception as she walks out. She has a serious look on her face. Rosa grabs a mic*
Rosa: Ah, the mighty Oceanic. I hear you want to go after the GND title. Well if you want to get anywhere near the title, you have to go through me first. And you DO remember what happened the last time we met in this ring, don’t you? I know you do. Don’t get me wrong, Oceanic. You’re a great wrestler, but I don’t think you’re quite ready for a title shot. Every time the opportunity comes your way, you always let it pass you by. And tonight will be no exception. What I’m trying to get at is, as good as you are, you’re just not good enough to be champion.
*Crowd boos very loudly. Oceanic immediately goes after Rosa. The ref calls for the bell to start the match*
Oceanic is pummeling Rosa in the corner. She whips her to the opposite corner. Oceanic runs at her with a splash and then hits a facecrusher. She stays on her with a Mexican stretch. She keeps the hold in for a few moments and then breaks it. Oceanic picks up Rosa and hits a snap suplex. Then she goes for an early cover.
1... 2...
Rosa kicks out. Oceanic picks her up and tosses her out of the ring. She then whips her into the steel steps. After banging her head on the steps a few times, she rolls her back into the ring. HBH walks toward Oceanic, but she shoots a mean look his way, and he backs off. Oceanic gets back into the ring and bangs her head on the turnbuckle 10 times. She follows that up with a tiger suplex pin.
1... 2...
Rosa gets the shoulder up. Oceanic picks her up and puts her back in the corner. She hits a few punches and chops. She whips her to the opposite corner. Rosa avoids Oceanic’s charge and capitalizes with a reverse DDT. Rosa then gets in a few stomps. She picks up Oceanic and hits a back drop. She runs to the ropes and hits a quick leg drop and covers her.
1... 2...
Oceanic kicks out. Rosa drags her to the corner and does some shoulder thrusts. Next she hits a springboard elbow. Then she whips Oceanic to the opposite corner so hard that she falls down after hitting the turnbuckle. Rosa picks her up and performs a reverse vertical suplex. After hitting a standing moonsault on Oceanic’s back, she covers her.
1... 2...
Oceanic kicks out again. Rosa performs a snapmare followed by a dropkick to the back. Next she applies an STF. Chants of “O-CE-AN-IC!” break out. Oceanic claws her way to the ropes. She reaches the bottom rope, and the ref starts counting to 5. Rosa breaks it after 4. She picks up Oceanic and gives her a backbreaker. After a little posing and the crowd booing it, she climbs to the top rope. She attempts a senton bomb, but Oceanic moves out of the way. The ref starts the 10 count.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
Both women are now on their feet. They exchange punches, but Oceanic quickly gets the upper hand. She lets loose a barrage of punches and kicks. She whips Rosa to the ropes and hits a hip toss. Next she does an inverted atomic drop. She then runs to the ropes and hits a flying clothesline. Oceanic hits a northern lights suplex pin.
1... 2...
Rosa kicks out. Oceanic goes to pick her up and is surprised with a jawbreaker. Rosa capitalizes with a spinning heel kick. Next she goes for a Sharpshooter. Oceanic gets to the ropes. Rosa picks her up, hits some kicks, and whips her to the ropes. Oceanic ducks an attempted clothesline and hits a jumping roundhouse kick. She climbs the ropes, waiting for Rosa to get up. She jumps off and hits a diving hurricanrana. With the crowd riled up, Oceanic goes for These Eyes Are Snakes. She locks it in. Just then, HBH gets on the apron to distract the ref. Oceanic breaks the hold and lunges at HBH, but HBH gets off the apron. Oceanic turns around to see Rosa take her down and pin her with a bridge.
1... 2...
Oceanic kicks out! The fans hold their breath. Rosa kicks her in the mid-section and sets her up for the Northern Lights Driver. However, Oceanic wiggles her way out of it and into a rolling clutch pin.
1... 2...
3! *Bell rings*
RA: Here is your winner, Oceanic!
*Rosa has a shocked look on her face as the ref raises Oceanic’s hand in victory. HBH then gets in the ring and attacks Oceanic. He punches and stomps away at her, showing no mercy. But then something strange happens...
Rosa stops him!
She tells him to back off, and he reluctantly obliges. Rosa then helps Oceanic to her feet, pats her on the shoulder and says “Good job.” She then heads to the back with HBH right behind her. Oceanic is left in the ring confused, as are HBH and the fans*
*Fade to commercial*
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Maelstrom
AC Slater
The Tide Will Turn!
Posts: 236
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Post by Maelstrom on Jan 2, 2006 20:06:22 GMT -5
The lights dim as 'Apocalypse please' begins to play
FINKEL: The following match is for the EWT Tri-State Championship! .. making his way to the ring he is from the Aquarium ... Maelstrom!!
Smoke rises at the stage and there stands Maelstrom, but there is no happy look on his face or gesture tot he crowd .. he walks to the ring, his face barely giving away any emotion .. he hands the belt to the referee who attaches it to the rope which slowly rises to the ceiling ... Maelstrom takes the mike from The Fink
MAELSTROM (quietly): I lost something dear to me this week ... roll the footage ...
A video begins to play showing Maelstrom and 'The Hammerhead Shark' Barracus in a montage of pictures ... Images of Barracus as a baby Hammerhead in Maelstrom's hand, followed by Barracus in a feeding frenzy, the next is of Maelstrom swimming alongside Barracus in the water .. and the final picture is of Barracus in his tank next to Maelstrom holding the Tri-State Title a happy smile on his face ... some words appear ... Barracus 1992-2005
The crowd is silent, as the camera goes back to Maelstrom who is standing watching the video, a look of sadness on his face ... he brings the mike to his mouth
MAELSTROM: Now I know you fans are probably thinking ... 'Hey, its just a fish, why's Maelstrom so upset about this .. what a softy' ... First Barracus was more than just a big fish, he was a companion and beloved pet! ... despite my cold-hearted arse kicking exterior, underneath the monster resides a kinder side rarely seen in this ring or environment .. I took care of that Hammerhead when no-one else would and now thanks to a man with a peanut for a brain, Barracus is gone!
The crowd chants' Maelstrom name loudly
MAELSTROM: Flex! ... the time has come for the ocean to wash away the garbage .. and you my fat-headed friend are number one on my list! ... I've been watching you Flex ... because I knew that one day we would cross paths here in the EWT!
Crowd cheers
MAELSTROM: I watched you cripple Kurt Angle, savagely attack Limey and put Psychoapeguy out of commission permanently and it made me angry. Not because you can't wrestle ... although there is much debate on the subject ...
On cue a 'He can't wrestle chant starts up'
MAELSTROM: But because you just don't seem to give a damm about the consequences! ... well this time you bit off more than you can chew, sausage boy! ... The good ship Magnificent is on a one way course into the Maelstrom ... and that is where .... The Tide Will Turn!
A large cheer for Maelstrom rises up as he hands back the mike to the Fink, but it is soon cut off by a familiar beat and screaming girls ... 'I think I'm Hot, I know I'm sexy! ...etc...
FINKEL: .. his opponents ... First he hails from San Antonio, Texas ... The Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Micheals!! ...
HBK appears to a loud cheer as he struts his stuff on the way to the ring. He looks Maelstrom up and down before heading to one of the corners to play to the crowd
FINKEL: and secondly ... he is from Miami, Florida ... Razor Ramon!!
Razor Ramon steps out onto the stage to a booing crowd, he sneers at them as he heads to the ring
Bell rings
Razor Ramon and Maelstrom walk up to each other eye to eye ..words are exchanged between the two as HBK tries to get there attention, by pushing both of them. HBK points to the sky and motions the tile will be his ... Razor takes exception to this and goes to punch HBK, but its blocked by Maelstrom who promptly scoop slams Ramon. HBK and Maelstrom start to put the boots to Razor who eventually rolls out of the ring. HBK yells at Razor, Maelstrom decides to take advantage of this and clocks HBK over the back of the head with a forearm. This flurry of punches sends HBK to the corner .. eventually HBK counters a blow and reels off a bunch of shots of his own. But a harsh shove stops that as HBK's back smacks the cornerpost buckle. Maelstrom follows with a running clothesline, which drops HBK to the floor.
Maelstrom turns around, only to receive a ladder shot to the jaw! .. Razor Ramon has brought in the ladder already and smacks Maelstrom with it! ... Razor then sets up the ladder on top of both Maelstrom and HBK in the corner and heads to the opposite corner. Razor charges the pair colliding with force as his avalanche crushes HBK behind Maelstrom's large bulk, the steel ladder ricocheting off Maelstrom's skull. Maelstrom staggers out of the corner straight into a neckbreaker by Razor Ramon. With both HBK and Maelstrom down Razor sets up the ladder .. under the belt... he begins to climb! ..
HBK recovering quickly climbs the other side ... both at the top they trade fists, both nearly falling. HBK gives Razor a poke in the eye, and then pushes Razor off the ladder ...Rasor lands badly and holds his knee in pain. Meanwhile HBK climbs to the top of the ladder his finger tips touching the title belt. But Maelstrom is back to his feet and charges the ladder with a big boot! ... The ladder collapses and sends HBK to the floor outside ...Maelstrom retrieves the ladder and sets it up again. He goes to climb but Razor grabs his arm ... Maelstrom knocks Razors hand away and applies a headlock ... Vortex Drop!!! ...with Razor now firmly down and out Maelstrom turns back to the ladder and only just ducks Sweet Chin Music!! .... Maelstrom not wanting to have to avoid the move again boots HBK in the gut and hits a ... Whirlpool!!! ...
Maelstrom now casually climbs the ladder and grabs his Tri-State Title!! to a loud cheer from the audience!
FINKEL: Your winner .... and still EWT Tri-State champion ... Maelstrom!!!
Maelstrom drops down from the ladder as his music plays. He heads backstage to a loud 'Maelstrom' chant!
(fade out)
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Post by Koda, Master Crunchyroller on Jan 2, 2006 20:42:17 GMT -5
*Ringside* Joey Styles: We just got word that Koda Kazar is in the backstage area right now and Maria was able to track him down. *Backstage* Maria: So Koda, why do you think you are going to change anything around here? Koda: Well Maria, you sexy devil you, I am not a man of many words. I let my actions speak for me, and later tonight I will make my debut against any willing challenger, and I will dominate him! I will prove why some people call me crazy! Maria: Wow, I can't wait to see you in action later tonight.
Koda begins to walk off.
Maria: Well Joey, it seems that this new talent may have potential.
Koda walks back to Maira.
Koda: Hey I was wondering if you would do me the honor of giving me your phone number. Maria*little confused*: Um...sure!
Maria gives Koda her number. Koda walks off......
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DQorDie
Bubba Ho-Tep
Believe in yourself & ROCK N ROLL!!!
Posts: 635
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Post by DQorDie on Jan 3, 2006 2:12:29 GMT -5
Once again we are at the interview area as Mean Gene is prepared for his next guest.
Mean Gene Okerlund: Ladies & gentlemen my next guest here tonight comes with a bevy of beauties that not even Hugh Hefner could match. Here they are TEAM MADNESS!!! Come in here “Macho Man” Randy Savage, Madusa, Miss Madness 1999, & WHOAH Gorgeous George. Woooow!
They all begin walking into the interview area as Macho Man is sporting a white fur coat to match his hair color. Followed by Miss Madness 1999 looking as if she won Miss Wisconsin & helped cut the ribbon at the Hooterville General Store. Speaking of hooters collectively Madusa & Gorgeous George’s breast look more than ripe as they appear like old FOX TV show character Roc’s head being squished in a vice with all those veins popping.
Macho Man Randy Savage: OOOOOOOOH YEEEEEAAAAAAH!!!!!!! Team Madness in da hiz-ouse! Yeeeaaaaah. Dig it!
MG: Whoah! Macho Man Randy Savage! *begins looking at all the breasts in the room with him* And....OH MY!
MMRS: Oooh yeah, Gene. I know yer getting a bit excited with the Macho Man, yeah, that’s how you get your kicks BUT LEARN TO CONTAIN YOURSELF!!! *begins twirling his finger* I know the Madness is even infecxting you Mean Gene because I can see in your eyes how you’d like to beat a part of the man instead of being a man.Yeah, because the madness is in full effect, yeah, & it’s here in the EWT, yeah. And tonight’s the night to PUT UP OR SHUT UP!!! Ooooh yeeeeaaaah. Flex Magnificent, you’ve been talking the talk & walking the walk, yeah, but it’s about time your rise to fame go up in flame, yeah. YER 15 MINUTES ARE UP!!!! Because Maniflex Destiny has gone to the birds, yeah. It’s sprouted wings & flown right into a glass window, yeah *flaps his arms like wings*. . The Madness is here to stay, Flex Magnificent. DIG IT!!!
MG: Now Macho Man. Some have said that you have lost it. Not only mentally, but also physically in the ring. I mean c’mon. You’re last appearance at TNA wasn’t exactly like your match against Ricky Steamboat at Wrestlemania III. Frankly after seeing your performance at TNA’s Turning Point with your 3 punches & the pin I can honestly say that you can probably break wind better than you can knock the wind out of someone. What do you have to say about that?
MMRS: Ooooh nooooo, Mean Gene. That’s where you’ve got it all wrong, yeah.
MG: Wait...Are you agreeing with me or disagreeing with me?
MMRS: No, yeaaaah.
MG: Huh?
MMRS: Yeaaaaah. *twirls his finger again*
MG: Oooooookaaaay. Anyway....Last week Flex Magnificent has been making waves so to say as last week by not only adding your brother Leaping Lanny Poffo onto the Handicapped Parking List, but he also stole & COOKED Maelstrom’s favorite fish, Barracus The Hammer Head Shark! What are your thoughts?
MMRS: FLEEEEX MAGNIFICENT!!!! Team Madness takes no prisoners yeaaaah. Like when I was in Spider Man yeeeaaah, Bonesaw McGraw, yeaaah. *twirls his finger yet again* Box Office #1 WITH A BULLET!!!! Flex Magnificent you can cripple my faggot brother all you want & steal some weirdo’s Sea Monkeys for all I care because I’m not the kinda guy who gets perturbed by such instances. BUT WHEN YOU MESS WITH THE MADNESS You’re going down for the one, *holds up one finger* two *twirls his hands & holds up two fingers*, THREE!!!! *twirls his hand around yet again & holds up four fingers* DIG IT!!!! LET’S GO TO THE RING!!!
MG: You heard him folks. Macho Man Randy Savage & Team Madness. What will they come up with next?
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DQorDie
Bubba Ho-Tep
Believe in yourself & ROCK N ROLL!!!
Posts: 635
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Post by DQorDie on Jan 3, 2006 2:12:58 GMT -5
Female Voice: What up, Mach?
Macho Man’s voice: Oooooooooh YEAH
The heavy metal guitar riff to Macho Man’s last theme belts out as it immediately goes into “Be a Man.” Out through the curtain comes out Macho Man wearing his puffy fur coat accompanied by some lovely ladies who are being announced at this moment.
Ring Announcer: This match is scheduled for one fall. Coming down the aisle accompanied by Madusa, Miss Madness 1999, & Gorgeous George....He hails from Sarasota Florida. Weighing in at 273 lbs. Here is MACHOOO MAAAAAAN RANDY SAAAAVAAAAGE
Gorilla Monsoon: Wow Whatta entrance from the Macho Man Randy Savage.
Jesse “The Body” Ventura: He’s got nothing on me Monsoon. I could come back right now & win the EWT World Heavyweight Title if I wanted to
GM: You say that at every event, Jess. When are you gonna finally put on your trunks & hit the ring again.
JV: When I’m good & ready
GM: Anyway, it was not too long ago where here on EWT Morning After Heat that we saw this
Footage plays of Flex Magnificent’s “How Do Not Be a Stubborn Fat Peice of Crap Und Start Eating Right For Once In Yo Fat Flabby Life....Wit Flex Magnificent & “De Doktor of Muscletology” Herr Doktor Frederick Delavier.: Specific parts of Mean Gene questioning the origins of this fishmarket in the EWT Arena are shown as well as Flex bringing in parts of Barracus, Maelstrom’s now deceased Hammer Head Shark.
Quickly it goes to scenes of Maelstrom in his aquarium finding Barracus gone & mourning his lost.
We’re now back in the arena as we see Macho Man is reeling & ready to go for his match against Flex Magnificent.
JV: I can’t believe that idiot has been blubbering over that stupid fish. I mean look what Flex Magnificent has done. Instead of it being a menace to the EWT locker room Flex has made it into a fine delicacy we can all enjoy. Plus what about those liver smoothies he made? I had one & I must say it was magnificent!
GM: Give me a break, Jess. This was no mere fish. It was a great companion to the man. Just like Matilda was to the Bulldogs, like Damien was to Jake The Snake, & much more. Don’t you have a pet, Jess?
JV: Yes, I have a pet gorilla.
GM: You do?
JV: Yes. He’s sitting right next to me & not only does he like to steal all my bananas, but he also likes to wear my leather pants for the after party after the show
GM: Would you please stop. Let’s go to the ring announcer
Ring Announcer: And his opponent......*Flex’s choir is in place as they begin to sing softly* accompanied by his creator, The Doctor of Muscletology .....DR. FREDERICK DELAVIER[/i] from Nuremberg, Germany. He comes in weighing in at 330 lbs. of pure magnificence with arms in length of 30 inches round, waist 38 , legs 24 & at a height of 6'7......He is *The choir builds to crescendo as they kick in full gear as the Flexettes march out being followed by Dr. Delavier who is now on crutches & the magnificent one himself* The Genetic Superman,.........The SIX time Scammy Award winning................FLEX..................MAAAAAAAAAAGNIIIIIIIIIIFICEEEEEEEEEEENT [/i]
Doctor Delavier & Flex make it to the beginning of the steel guard rails as the good Doctor puts his hands out to present his creation. Flex bursts open his cape like Batman & twirls around as the fireworks display goes off entering in a posedown which concludes to his signature posedown the Flex-O-Matic Delight. Flex finishes up & makes his way down the aisle.
They approach the steps as Doctor Delavier still injured from the final Limey vs. Flex match so he stays outside of the ring being held up by his crutches. Flex slowly makes it up the stairs as Macho Man is irrate as always & taunts Flex to come in by pointing at him & making weird faces. Flex slowly makes it over the ropes as he tells the ref to hold Macho Man back. Of course Mach resists & puts his arms outward as if to say, “What the hell?” but still he is pushed back by the ref.
Flex makes it to the center of the ring & proceeds to continue posing to even more fireworks bursting in air. He concludes as his choir concludes & takes off his cape to start the match.
JV: Now that’s an entrance, Monsoon
GM: Give me a break. This man causes nothing but trouble He started all that drama with Limey injuring Carla as well as even getting her to turn her back on Limey & now he steals Maelstrom’s Hammerhead, Barracus Does this man have no couth?
JV: He may not be a good wrestler in your opinion, Monsoon, but the man is a technician of mind games & he plays them well. Well enough to have many key victories under his belt. And you can’t deny that, Monsoon
The bell sounds as we are underway with our current matchup. Flex & Mach begin to size one another up until they both come to a staredown. Mach begins talking to Flex scrunching up his face while mocking him with his arms extended outward. He walks up to Flex & slaps him in the face
Flex looks a bit taken back that someone would go as far as slapping him in the face. But Mach doesn’t back down & continues to get in Flex’s grill & slaps him again
Flex’s face is beginning to turn red.as Macho now pushes him. Flex is beginning to twitch....He pushes Macho Man who falls back & tumbles to the ropes. Mach is pissed & immediately gets back up & gets in a fighting position calling Flex out. Flex motions for Macho Man to take it to him.
Macho combats with a few stiff jabs to the face that take Flex back. Macho Man hits Flex with a few elbows right between the eyes. Flex is stammering around as Macho Man grabs him by the stuble of his hair & runs towards the opposite ropes & jumps over depositing Flex’s throat across the top rope.
GM: Classic Mach right there, Jess. I can’t wait until Maelstrom gets his hands around the collective necks of Flex Magnificent & that devious Dr. Frederick Delavier.
JV: Granted Fish Face has the size advantage on Flex he’s by no mean as magnificentas Flex. But hey I gotta say, I’m surprised Macho’s arches supported him on the drop there. I was looking forward to Doc Delavier getting out his wheelchair for Mach after this match. Actually that may just happen anyway, right Monsoon ?
GM: Unfortunately I must agree seeing that the possibilities of that happening are 99%.
Flex is back on his feet holding on to his throat as Mach makes it back on the apron. He twirls his finger in the air as he makes his way to the top He arches his arms upwards as he flies off with a Double Axehandle off the Top Rope. Flex is down as Dr. Delavier is shouting support to his creation.
Macho Man capitalizes drops a knee on Flex’s head & brings Flex up by his head & begins twirling that finger again. With Flex up he throws that massive muscle bound flesh that is Flex Magnificent right over the top rope onto the floor. Flex is down on the concrete in front of his creator who is yelling at him to get up. But Mach sees his time to shine & show up all the young folk as he begins climbing the top rope again.
Could it be another Double Axehandle?
He points his arms & fingers to the top.
He leaps.
HE’S GOING FOR THE FLYING ELBOW DROP ON THE CONCRETE
Flex is still on the ground.
Mach is about to make impact.
FLEX ROLLS UNDER THE RING & MACH MAKES IMPACT WITH THE CONCRETE
GM: HOLY S# T HE JUST DID THE FLYING ELBOW ON THE CONCRETE His arm is gotta be broken
JV: HAHAHAHAHAHAA That is the greatest thing I have ever seen in my life That old coot tried to be extreme when the match barely started. Folks we gotta see this again *They show the footage again as The Body calls what happens* Look here Monsoon, we have the Macho Moron here on the top rope point his fingers in the air thinking he’s got the Genetic Superman where he wants him & he leaps into the air & falls elbow first into the concrete!
GM: I must agree, Jess. I am shocked at such a rookie mistake on the part of Macho Man Randy Savage. Why on Earth would he do such a thing?
JV: Just look at what’s around him, Monsoon. If he didn’t do something the least bit interesting he’d have to be begging for the Spice Channel at the Sunset Flip Retirement Home where you live, Gorilla!
GM: Would you give me a break. Back to action.
Team Madness is now gathered round Macho Man. Dr. Delavier is closeby while Flex is already in the ring.
Dr. Delavier inches up to the ladies huddled around the fallen Macho Man as he drops one of his crutches. He begins hopping on one leg as he holds up one of the cructhes & BLASTS Madusa right on top of her head laying her out on Macho Man. Miss Madness & Gorgeous George walk back as the ref slides out to check out Madusa & Macho Man. He begins warning Dr. Delavier who holds himself up on one crutch with one hand in the air, waving his head “No.”
While the ref goes back to check on Macho Man, Flex slides out & immediately picks up Macho Man who is groaning in pain holding onto his elbow. Flex throws him head first into the guard rail absorbing even more pain. Flex picks him back up & throws down Mach’s broken arm across the guard rail. Macho feels it, but still keeps his arm drapped on the guard rail, Flex picks up one of the ring tier of the ring steps & throws it right on Macho Man’s arm It bounces off & falls right into the fans sitting nearby in the first row. A good three people are on the floor injured!
Flex wastes no time & throws him back in the ring while ignoring all attempts by the referee to cease.
Mach is lying on the mat as Flex slowly gets into the ring. The ref continues to try to check on Mach as Flex leans back & gives a soccer kick to the referee’s guts. Seeing his fallen opponent defeated in front of his feet Flex breaks down into a posedown.
Unknowingly Miss Madness 1999 is making her way to the top rope. Dr. Delavier is warning his creation of her on the top pointing over to her, but Flex is oblivious as he continues to pose. Miss Madness 1999 shoots off the top with a dropkick as Flex immediately turns around catching Miss Madness 1999 in his arms & gives her a vicious backbreaker.She collapses to the ground as Flex immediately picks her back up & lifts her in a tombstone position. He moves over to Randy & does the OWEN HART PILEDRIVER directly connecting both Randy & Miss Madness 1999's heads together. Miss Madness 1999 is in a crumpelled heap while Mach is trying to clutch both his head & elbow. Flex begins a pre-victory posedown for the hell of it.
Outside the ring Gorgeous George is helping Madusa to her feet while Flex proceeds to waste time. Madusa sees what’s going on & slides into the ring. She begins to call out Flex who just looks at her like she brought a 14 year old boy to a priest convention. He begins inching up to her as out of nowhere Gorgeous George jumps on his back with a Sleeper Hold! Flex is caught off guard & is trying to get her off his back. He manages to throw her off & slam her boobs together which creates a small mushroom cloud as they explode from impact. Madusa sees the result of such a collison & tries to high tail it. Flex grabs her by the bra strap & pulls it back slapping her like a rubber band. He’s leaving marks all over her back from the devastating blows! He then begins yanking on the bra strap as Madusa’s boobs get strangled. A major blue vein is emerging from each breast. They get so large that they grow bigger & bigger with each tug. Flex continues to tug until....
BANG! THE VEINS POP!
Madusa’s boob make a balloon leaking sound as they shrink into nothingness. Madusa begins crying as Flex sets his sights back on the injured Macho Man.
Flex immediately yanks Macho Man up by the injured arm giving way to Macho Man screaming like a damn woman with a 5-pack a day habit. Macho Man can’t stand the pain as Flex has Mach’s arm locked while keeping it straight as an arrow. He then jumps down to the mat with Mach’s arm in tow for his latest move THE LOVE HANDLE!!! (Fujiwara Arm Bar Submission). Flex has it locked, but before the referee could make the call he let’s go. He holds down Mach’s damaged arm straight & drops the knee on that elbow & quickly jumps down again & locks THE FLEX CAPACITOR!!!
He’s using Mach’s damaged arm to make him tap out. The referee accepts it & calls for the bell!
Ring Bell: DING! DING! DING! DING! DING!
Ring Announcer: The winner of this match as a result of a submission.....FLEX! MAGNIFICEEEEEENT!!!!!
GM: *During the announcement Flex continues to have the Flex Capacitor locked in using his free arm to make Mach submit* I can’t believe this. Adding insult to injury! This man has no morals. This man has no couth. I don’t understand why you stand behind such a rouge in the EWT, Jess. This man makes me sick. He can’t wrestle. He can’t win a match cleanly. He acts & injuries managers who aren’t even suppose to be wrestlers. And most of all the man doesn’t even understand the word “relationship.”
JV: Gorilla, Flex Magnificent knows more words than you can pronounce because we all know you’ve been faking those names of the parts of the body. It doesn’t take a genius to know that the carotid artery is made up. Even that cripple Lanny Poffo could tell you that!
GM: Well actually Jess it is a real term. The left carotid arises from the arch of the aorta, while the right carotid arises as one of the branches of the bifurcation of the brachiocephalic artery, or the trunk, into the carotid and right subclavian artery. The carotids then continue along similar paths within their respective sides of the neck and skull. The common carotid is close to the surface and can be used to check the pulse. JV: Nonsense, Monsoon! And once again Flex Magnificent is victorious. Isn’t that magnificent?
Flex releases the hold as EMTs, as always, rush into the ring to hold off Flex as he celebrates in the ring with a final posedown.
GM: We’ll see just how magnificent he’ll be once Maelstrom gets a hold of him. I have a fishy feeling that Flex Magnificent will find himself in the deep end of the pool while Maelstrom is lifeguarding. And the tide will certainly turn to Maelstrom’s favor!
JV: Gorilla, frankly I have had enough of your old wife’s tales & beaten & battered cliches. I believe it’s about time you give in to Maniflex Destiny because the way things have been here in the EWT it seems that Flex Magnificent will have gold around his waist in no time. Because after all Maniflex Destiny has been prophesized in the stars! And whatever Flex wants, Flex gets because he has the beef to back it up!
GM: Well if you want to get technical about it actually Maelstrom has the height advantage & quite a lot of beef to make Clara Peller know better than to question.
JV: Well I must agree to a degree with you on that, Gorilla. Maelstrom is not the Tri State Champion for nothing. He certainly has a stunning appearence that could make the best of the best think twice about entering the ring with him, but NOT Flex Magnificent.
Flex & Dr. Delavier exit the ringside area & head to the back with Flex’s arms raised as we begin to conclude this segment.
GM: Well Jess, this will be Flex Magnificent’s first shot at someone his own size. So we’ll see how he contends against someone who can press him into the heavens as he did to Limey, Spaz, & plenty of defenceless managers & EMTs in the past. Just like he served up Barracus to Mean Gene Flex Magnificent will get his just deserts. I guarantee it. But for now we gotta pay the bills. We’ll be right back after this commercial message from Jergen’s & Billy “The Virgin” Ubermark!
Fade to commercial.
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Post by Banned Member on Jan 3, 2006 2:27:54 GMT -5
*Flex is walking toward the showers after his match,but blocking the door is The Outlaw Chris James.*
Flex: What the hell are you doing man. I need to get in there.
OL: Why I'll tell you what I'm doing here boy. You don't remember our match do you?
Flex: What match? We have never wrestled each other.
Ol: OH yes we have. Back when there was that loser Merc running loose inside of me, and I seem to remember that I won that match.
Flex: And your point is?
OL: I beat you before, and if I have to beat you to get a shot at that fish humping freak to get a shot at the Tri State Title. I have no problems of kicking your ass again like I did the last time.
*Outlaw walks off down the hall. leaving Flex with a perplexed look on his face.*
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Post by Koda, Master Crunchyroller on Jan 3, 2006 2:52:00 GMT -5
Lillian Garcia is in the ring.
Lillian: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is the debut of Koda Kazar!
*Stricken by Disturbed plays as Koda Kazar walks towards the ring slowly as pyro goes off in a magneficent display behind him. He high fives a few hands in the crowd and gets in the ring and removes his shirt.*
Koda: Is there anyone in the back that wants to fight me?!
*Suddenly, Funaki's music plays as he comes out to a huge crowd pop.*
Funaki rolls into the ring as the ref rings the bell. Funaki and Koda shake hands as Koda pulls Funaki towards him and into an Irish Whip. Koda catches Funaki on the return with a 540 spinkick. Koda then hits a standing moonsault. Koda picks up Funaki and gives him a short armed lariat. Koda then whips Funaki into the corner. Koda goes for a Stinger Splash, but Funaki dodges at the last second, but Koda lands feet first on the second turnbuckle. Funaki turns around as Koda springboards off of the second turnbuckle and hits a Stylin DDT. Koda goes for a pin.
1! 2! Kickout!
Koda lifts up Funaki again and whips him into the ropes again. Funaki comes back with a flying forearm. Funaki waits for Koda to get up and hits a dropkick, but Koda only staggers. Funaki gives him a second one and a third one which finally makes Koda fall down.
Funaki goes to the top rope. Funaki jumps off at a now standing Koda attempting a Rising Sun, but Koda pushes Funaki off of his head. Funaki lands on his feet. Funaki charges at Koda, but Koda catches him and ties Funaki up in the middle of the ropes. Koda bounces off of the opposite ropes and hits him with a reversed 619 to the ribs. Koda goes for a pin.
1! 2! Kickout!
Koda whips Funaki into the corner again and rushes at him. Koda gives Funaki a Moonsault Kick(those with SvR or SvR2006 should know this move) then a dropsault while Funaki is still in the corner and in one fluid motion. Koda then hits a stumbling Funaki with a Pele Kick that brings Funaki down to the mat. Koda stalks Funaki as he slowly gets up. Koda then grabs Funaki and gives him a K-Driver in the middle of the ring. Koda goes for a pin.
1! 2! 3!
Koda then grabs a mic.
Koda: You wanna see why they call me crazy?! Fans: Hell Yes!!!! Koda: You asked for it!
Koda takes Funaki's body and places it out on the announcer's table and goes to the top rope. Koda hits a Stardust on Funaki at ringside, crashing him through the table.
Koda grabs the mic again.
Koda: He didn't even matter to me! Imagine what I will do to someone who does!
Koda goes back to the back as the fans go wild.
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DQorDie
Bubba Ho-Tep
Believe in yourself & ROCK N ROLL!!!
Posts: 635
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Post by DQorDie on Jan 3, 2006 3:10:33 GMT -5
We’re back at ringside as Mean Gene is in the ring. He looks a bit concerned & is anxious to know if we’re back on the air. Let’s go to Gene.
Mean Gene: Hey, are we back on? Good! Hello everyone! After the shocking revelation of the dubious origins of Flex Magnificent & Dr. Delavier’s main course during last week’s “How Do...” Aaah forget the title. You all saw it. And frankly after that brutal match we all just witnessed I know Flex Magnificent is in the building. For the past week he & his creator have been ducking everyone trying to interview them about what happened at that infamous cooking show. And just a few days ago we got a crystal clear certificate of authenticity by the man himself, MAELSTROM!!! that indeed the Hammer Head was his, going by the name of Barracus. AND RIGHT NOW I’D LIKE TO CALL OUT THE MEN RESPONSIBLE FOR THOSE ACTIONS.....FLEX MAGNIFICENT & DR. FREDERICK DELAVIER! COME OUT RIGHT NOW & EXPLAIN YOURSELVES!!!!
The audience is quite loud as it seems they’re all buzzing about Mean Gene’s fiery challenge to Flex Magnificent & his creator Dr. Frederick Delavier. All of a sudden a prerecorded version of “Hallelujah!” begins to play as out from the curtain comes Flex Magnificent still in his wrestling trunks with no cape, fresh from his match with the Macho Man, along with Dr. Frederick Delavier hoping along on his crutches. They make their way to the ring as they eventually both enter especially with assistance from Flex to help the good doctor in. Mean Gene immediately gets on their case.
Mean Gene: Now we all know what happened. You stole Barracus, Maelstrom’s hammer head, from his aquarium so you could reap the benefits of all that protein & nutrients stored in his flesh & liver!
Flex looks relatively calm as Mean Gene rants & raves about his actions until he grabs the mic from Mean Gene’s hand like a hobo at a free buffet. Mean Gene is taken back as Flex is the one now ranting.
Flex Magnificent: Now YOU LISTEN POLITELY WHILE I SPEAK DE TRUT MEAN GENE!!! I DID NOT STEAL HIS SHARK!!! LIKE I SAID I WONDERED INDO DE EWT FISH MARKET UND DE LOCAL FISH MONGER WAS NOT IN SO I HELPED MYSELF!!! Mean Gene, id is tru dat fish such as de sharks carry vast amounts of protein und a treasure full of nutrients stored in de livuh dat could kill any nomal man upon consumption, but Gene....I yam not any nomal man. My nutrional needs uhre not equivalent do de needs of a regular human being. Dat is why I yam called de Genetic Supuhmon. Und do fulfill dese needs I dook wut I want like I always do here in de EWT. No exceptions made, Mean Gene. Dis is the rudaments of Maniflex Destiny. Dis is de ru’ to follow. But I nevuh stole de fish. It is not my fault dat dis Male Strum likes to dance wit de fishies und huv girlie tea parties wit dem und dell dem de stories about dere weddings dey planned since dey were 7 years old. I DON’T LIKE WEIRDOS WHO ARE COMFORTABLE WITH AN ALTERNATIVE LIFESTYLE!!! IT MAKES ME VEDY UNCOMFORTABLE UND MAKES ME COME UP WIT QUESTIONS CONCERNING LIFE DAT I DON’T WUNT DO ANSWER!!!! *looks around with a sneer on his face & gives Gene back the mic*
MG: Are you kidding me, you sick freak? You mean to tell me you think the EWT just happens to have a fish market randomly located by the locker rooms? Are you even conscious of any of the EWT stars besides yourself & whoever you’re feuding with?
FM: Mean Gene, dat is not de question at hand. De question is why do you care about de fruit cakes who like do feel up de animals. Dis is not a heavy petting zoo, Mean Gene. Dis is de EWT where we rustle! Und dis is coming from someone who hus rustled de best und has come out undefeated everytime.
”He Can’t Wrestle!” chants are to flood the arena.
MG: What?! What I just asked IS the question at hand! Now answer me. Do you know any of the EWT stars besides yourself, your manager & the people you have faced?
FM: Now Gene!!
MG: Answer me!
FM: Well dere is de... De....Uuuuh. De guy who likes do go do de top rope stuff....He likes do pin de guy when he is finished....You know. Dat guy!
MG: You’ve gotta be kidding.
FM: *yanks the mic out of Gene’s hand again this time pushing him down* NO MEAN GENE! DIS IS NO JOKE!!! Listen Fish Monger...If you want do accuse me of stealing dat damn fish go ahead. But I’d like do let you know....Dere are still leftovers in my refridgerator und dere is plenty more where dat came from. Because dere will be no burial at sea fo yo shark frien’ except in a local toilet once I am tru digesting him. Und if you wunt do huv anything do remember yo frien’ by you bettuh play it smart because I see you huv sometin I huv been looking forwar do since I huv arrived here in de EWT. Sometin my creator bore me do accomplish just as I rose do de top of de WBF. Male Strum dat Tri State tidle hus been in yo possession fo far doo long. Id is about time it is boiled do rid id of dat awful stench of sealife und is brought back do life by someone who can carry id wit pride und honor und magkneeficence dat only ONE MAN CAN HUV CLAIM DO! Fish Monger you like do claim dat the tide will turn, but once you face someone dat yo sea can not ravage dat tide und tidle will turn do a tru champion, a tru hero fo de people do rejoice und find security in. Not some weirdo wit a fish fetish. Because I know yo kind Fish Monger. I huv seen yo kind in de 60 Minutes television show. You like do go on de internet und entuh de aqua chats und lure innocent sea life loving people indo yo nets of lies und deceit. Just like when you won de tidle. Well Male Strum de tide is turning a different direction. Id is turning in de favor of Maniflex Destiny....Und you’ll end up just like all de rest.....especially yo dead frien’....ON. DE. SHELF!!!
Flex throws down the mic just as the recovering Mean Gene is making it back to a vertical base. Flex Magnificent immediately kicks him in the jingle bells as he tumbles back down to the ground. Flex leaves us with a posedown concluding with his Flex-O-Matic Delight as Dr. Delavier appluads his creation.
This fades into the next segment.
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