General Zod
Samurai Cop
KNEEL!
KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!!
Posts: 2,163
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Post by General Zod on Aug 19, 2005 17:28:07 GMT -5
Backstage, Les is greeted by the rest of the BDC and Todd Grisham, who is suprisingly well dressed for the interview.
TG: Les, that was a rather unorthodox match!!
Les: Todd Grisham, the only thing you need to realize is that now that I have in my posession, the Billion Dollar Belt, along with the Billion Dollar Corporation, there isn't a damn thing this company can do to stop me! Not you! Not Toomi Bischoff! Not the shareholders! NOTHING!
The members of the BDC are here with me because they're tired of the subpar treatment this company and it's wrestlers have seen fit to show my clients! Did you see what that little worm did to Theo Rumm's name on the match board?? The nerve!! WDD, you and your little band of misfit wrestlers better watch yourselves extra close these days. If I had the gumption I'd take you out myself!!
And Toomi screwing A-Bomb at the PPV and barring Stevie from all EWT events? That's unheard of! The leader of a company can't just play God like that! It makes me sick! His tossing abuse of power around here is going to earn him a good clock cleaning one of these days!
One thing people are going to start learning around here is to show the BDC some respect!
Todd...nice to see you finally cleaned up...
The BDC exits. Fade out.
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DQorDie
Bubba Ho-Tep
Believe in yourself & ROCK N ROLL!!!
Posts: 635
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Post by DQorDie on Aug 19, 2005 17:46:55 GMT -5
Camera goes over to Sean Mooney in front of the EWT logo backstage
Sean Mooney: Hello everybody I'm Sean Mooney, here with an EWT exclusive interview with Flex Magnificent. It's been almost a week since his match with Limey where he & his manager "The Doctor of Muscletology" Dr. Frederic Delavier unleashed both a mental & physical hell on Limey.
Flex & Delavier now both enter the interview area. Delavier is in his usual as is Flex except for his face being covered up in bandages over last Sunday
SM: Your magnificence it's been 5 days since No Rest For The Wicked & it seems whatever anguish you've parted onto Limey hasn't done the job. He's out for you & your magnificent face.
FM: *slowly & sternly moves his face over to the microphone* Sean Mooney.......Everyone is worried abowt Limey & his handicapped gullfriend......But no one *quickly turns his furied face to the camera exposing his wounds* IS WORRIED ABOWT ME!!!!!!!! SEAN MOONEY!!!! EVER SINCE SUNDAY everyone said wut a pity for Limey. Wut a pity for Cula. BUT WUT ABOWT FLEX MAGKNEEFICENT!!!!! MY SCAMMY AWARD IS RUINED!!!!! MY GOLD MEDALS ARE DAMAGED!!!! And my face.....*touches his face* My magkneeficent face HAS BEEN BRUISED!!!!! Not just dat Sean Mooney but some people hav fo'gotten dat Limey is da one dat turned da fans against me. Limey is da one who humiliated me on da interweb & showed dose docterned photos of me. ALL FALSE! Limey............I yam da victim here not you. I YAM DA VICTIM!!!!!
SM: Well in the meantime Limey has taken 9 days off to help aid in the recouperation of his manager after you broke her leg.
FM: A VACASCHUN!!!!! YOU'VE GOT DO BE KIDDING ME!!!!! A vacaschun do help dat worthless peice of schiebe!!!! *Flex starts shaking like a leaf off a tree with his eyes all bug like & veins pertruding in all manners*
SM: Uuuuh......How do you feel about your up coming Super Pose Down Challenge against a man whose no stranger to the pose, "Ravishing" Rick Rude? No to mention Jesse "The Body" Ventura is deeming this the battle for the Jesse "The Body" award 2005.
FM: *Delavier helps Flex compose himself* Well....Well Sean Mooooney. Dis is certainly a great honuh do be in da ring with such a competitor as Rick Rooood is. We shall cerdanly see who is the real Buhdy of da year awurd winner.
SM: No doubt the loser will certainly be handed limes......*just realizes what he said* Uuuuhhh.........
FM: WUT DID YOU JUS SAY!!!!! GGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!
Flex picks Sean Mooney from under his arms & throws his right through the EWT logo which is just a cardboard set up. We see Mooney lying on the floor crawling to safety coughing his lungs out. Flex grabs the mic.
FM: LIMEY!!!! YOU MAY BE SAFE FO NOW! BUT JUST YOU WAIT!!! I WILL NOT BE A VICTIM ANYMO'!!!!!!
Flex throws down the mic as well as the camera man as he & Delavier exit stage left
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Post by whoopdeedoo on Aug 19, 2005 19:29:59 GMT -5
[Ride the Lightning hits and WDD strolls casually to the ring, with Andy and Botchberg by his side. He slides into the ring and faces IRS, who entered the ring shortly. Andy and Botchberg are at ringside]
WDD immediatly charges and takes out IRS. IRS is pulled up, but then thrown out of the ring. WDD goes for the irish whip, but it's reversed and WDD is sent into the ring steps. IRS charges, but WDD rolls out of the way, tripping IRS in the process. Both men get up and exchange punches, when WDD low blows IRS, who doubles over. WDD gives him a double arm DDT on the outside! WDD rolls IRS into the ring for a pin but gets a near fall. WDD climbs up on the turnbuckle, but IRS lunges at the ropes, causing WDD to rack himself and falls off the turnbuckle. IRS grabs WDD and piledrivers him into the mat. Pin gets only two. IRS pulls WDD up and rams him into the turnbuckle pad repeatedly. WDD collapses, clutching his face in pain. IRS gets up on the top rope and goes for the double axe handle, but takes out the ref by "accident". IRS slides out of the ring, and grabs his BRIEFCASE OF DEATH from outside. He turns around, but Andy is right behind him and cold cocks him. IRS turns around, staggering, and gets speared by Botchberg. Andy picks up IRS and hurls him into the ring. WDD staggers up to his feet, and heads up to the turnbuckle slowly, but suddenly Theo Rumm dashes through the crowd, jumps the railing, grabs a chair, and throws it at WDD. The chair hits WDD right in the head and he collapses from the turnbuckle. Andy and Botchberg chase Theo back through the crowd. Ref gets up and begins the count. 1 2 3 4 5 (IRS jerks up) 6 7 (WDD begins showing signs of life. IRS is up.) 8 9 (WDD finally staggers up)
Just as WDD gets up, IRS hits him and goes for the Money Shot, but WDD reverses it and gives him a pumphandle slam. WDD picks up IRS and sends him to the turnbuckle. He then goes up to the top rope...WHIPPERSNAPPER! He goes for the pin. 1! 2! 3!
[WDD raises his hand in victory, then grabs his head. He looks at the chair that hit him, then he gets out of the ring and makes his way backstage]
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Maelstrom
AC Slater
The Tide Will Turn!
Posts: 236
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Post by Maelstrom on Aug 19, 2005 20:11:32 GMT -5
*We are back at ringside with The Fink*
The Fink: Ladies & Gentlemen the following is an Indian Strap Match . . to win the wrester must touch all four corners without being attacked by the other wrestler. . . . and now . .
*'Apocalypse Please' starts up and through the pyro walks Maelstrom*
The Fink: From the Aquarium . . .Maelstrom!!
*Maelstrom stops halfway down to get the strap from a technician*
J.R: Maelstrom is looking pretty confident at the moment . .
Tazz: Well he's caught Billy twice and beaten him to a pulp . . . and the crowd is really behind him . . . and he's told everyone nothing is going to stop him from being Tri-State Champion . . not even Merc.
*Maelstrom has got to the ring and is attaching the strap to his wrist*
The Fink: . . . and his opponent from Pembrooke, North Carolina . . . . . Tatanka!!
*The whooping sounds of Tatanka's music hits and he sprints to the ring, Tatanka gets in and starts bouncing off the ropes a few times before putting the strap on his wrist*
*Bell Rings*
The two men circle each other watching to see who makes the first move . . . Tatanka wraps the strap around his wrist and gives a sharp tug to try and unbalance Maelstrom but it has little effect, Tatanka tries a few more times but only succeeds in irritating Maelstrom. Maelstrom fed up of Tanaka's tactics grasps the strap and pulls. . . . Tatanka comes flying at Maelstrom and gets clotheslined down. Maelstrom goes to the first corner (1) . . . he goes to the second . and no Tatanka rushes the big man and nails him in the back with a forearm. Tatanka continues to press his advantage with a series of chops and a snapmare. Tatanka follows with a elbow . . but Maelstrom rolls to the side. Both men get up at the same time and then trade punches . . Maelstrom gains the advantage and sends Tatanka to the corner, he follows it up with a running clothesline, the stunned Tatanka stumbles out of the corner straight into a big holding Suplex. Maelstrom once again heads to the corners . . (1) . . and then (2) . . and now . . . Tatanka is stirring . . (3) . . Maelstrom is about to reach the final corner . . but no Tatanka has wrapped almost all of the strap around his body Maelstrom can't reach! . . Maelstrom turns and gets a kick to the gut . . . neckbreaker by Tatanka! . . Maelstrom struggles to his feet. Tatanka has gone to the top-rope . . he's looking for the Tomahawk Chop . . nails Maelstrom . .but the big man doesn't go down . . Tatanka is shocked . . he goes up to the top again . . and . .Oh No! . . Maelstrom has grabbed the strap and pulled it hard . . .Tatanka falls off the top rope just about managing to stay on his feet . . Maelstrom grabs him and attempts a piledriver . . no! . . Tatanka has fought out of it with a backdrop . . he follows it up with a couple of elbow drops . . . Tatanka now has Maelstrom down . . he goes to the corner . . (1) . . and the next (2) . . and Maelstrom is up . . . Tatanka seeing this irish whips Maelstrom into the ropes . . . Indian Death Drop (Samoan Drop) . . .Maelstrom is down again . . (1) . . and . . (2) . . Tatanka has reached the third . . (3) . . . all he has to do is get to the fourth . . . nearly . . . Maelstrom yanks on the strap right at the last minute Tatanka falls over. Maelstrom gets up . . . Tatanka is on his feet too . . he rushes Maelstrom and nails a cross body . . .Tatanka heads to the corner . . no wait Maelstrom is lying on the strap . . theres no range on the strap . . Tatanka will have to move MAelstrom if he wants to win this match . . Tatanka goes to release it from under Maelstrom . . AH! . . Maelstrom has got Tatanka by the throat! . . Chokeslam! . . Maelstrom is shaking his head . . he picks up Tatanka . . . Whirlpool! . . .Tatanka is out . . . Maelstrom goes to the corner . . no he' stopped . . he's seen a sign in the audience for Billy Ubermark . . Maelstrom goes back to Tatanka . . he does the cut throat sign . . . he's picks him up and hoists him onto the turnbuckle . . . Tatanka doesn't have a clue where he is . . oh no! . . .Vortex Drop off the top Turnbuckle . . .
*The Crowd goes bananas for the sick looking power move*
J.R: Bawhh Gawdd! . . . Maelstrom has broken him in half! . . . would someone get off there asses in the back and send out some help! . . .
Maelstrom grabs a mike, much to the protest of the referee, he is already touching the first cornerpad (1), he begins to walk around the ring
Maelstrom: Hey Billy! . . . see that . . thats what will happen to you . . . because one! (2) . . . . two! (3) . . Three (4) . . and you will be at the bottom of the sea!
*The Bell rings*
The Fink: Your winner Maelstrom!
Maelstrom: The Tide . . .
*Crowd chants 'The Tide Will Turn!'*
Maelstrom: thats right . . .The Tide Will Turn!
*Maelstrom heads to the back, as the crowd cheers! . . . EMTs and backstage hands rush to the ring to tend to Tatanka*
(Cut to Commercial)
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Post by Teddy Awesome- Back in Style on Aug 19, 2005 20:28:57 GMT -5
*Theo is seen running for his life backstage with Andy and Blotchberg close behind. Theo gains some ground and gets some distance from them, but is soon confronted with a dead end. There is one door to his left side. It says “Woman’s Locker Room” on the door. Theo hesitates running in.*
Blotchberg (From a distance): C’mon! He’s this way!
Theo (Panicked): Gnnnnaaaaaaaaah!
*Theo runs to the door and opens it… only to stop. His jaw dropping even lower then the last time, left eye twitching… just standing there. Andy and Blotchberg catch up to Theo.*
Andy: THERE HE IS!
Blotch: GET HIM!
*The reach where Theo’s standing and notices he isn’t moving… then they see what Theo’s been looking at… Mike Cole trying on some of the women wrestler’s clothes.*
Cole: It’s raining men! Hallelujah! It’s raining men! AMEN! I’M GONNA GO OUT! I’M GONNA GO GET… ABSOLUTLY SOAKING WET!
*Andy reels back and Blotchberg pukes into a conveniently placed bucket labelled “In Case of Cole, Use This!” Cole hears ‘Berg puking and looks at the three of them.*
Cole: *Girlish Scream!* GET OUT OF HERE! GET OUT OF HERE!
*Theo regains movement and looks at the current situation*
Theo (To Andy, Blotch): You want to beat him up or should I?
Andy: We’ll do it.
*Theo shrugs and moves along. Blotch and Andy move into the room and close the door so the camera can’t get in. Several sounds of breaking tables, skull on metal contact, and glass shartering is heard. Andy and Blotch leave a few moments later.*
Andy (To Blotch): Wasn’t there something we were supposed to do?
Blotchberg (To Andy): I’m sure it was nothing. Let’s go get a drink.
*Andy and Berg move along. Linda Ragnal and Oceanic are seen walking to the locker room.*
Mike: Heellllppp… Linda: WHAT THE HELL?
Oceanic: Get out of the change room… and our… clothes? Sick. Just… sick.
*Oceanic grabs the bucket near the door and the door closes on the camera again. More sounds of pain are heard.*
*Fade to Black*
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Post by whoopdeedoo on Aug 19, 2005 20:47:53 GMT -5
[WDD is storming around backstage. Tearing doors open and looking in]
WDD: [Opens door] THEO! Nope nothing. [Shuts door]
[WDD walks down and opens another door]
WDD: Theo! [Women's shriek] Oh, sorry miss.
[WDD opens a door next to it and another and another, until he spots Andy]
WDD: Andy! Have you seen Theo?
Andy: Yeah, he was uh, hanging around the women's locker room.
WDD: Ha, he wants to be in his home environment I guess.
Andy: Not exact-
WDD: Quiet Andy, I've got some business to take care of.
[Several minutes later. WDD is in front of the women's locker room. He pauses to crack his knuckles and stretch]
WDD: [Muttering to himself] Thought the little runt could hide from me? I don't think so. Alright, Theo time to meet your maker!
[WDD grabs the handle]
WDD: [Opens door and looks in] Alright The-OH......MY......GOD!!!
[Inside is Michael Cole, who is wearing a wig and a bra and a skirt, trying to stand up]
WDD: Oh.....that's just.....screwed up.
Cole: [Talking through swollen lip] Nah, nah, ya goth ith all wong!
WDD: Oh yeah?
[WDD shuts door. The sound of loud banging and slamming against locker doors and Cole's screams for help are heard. WDD opens the door and steps out, dusting his hands off]
WDD: Wait, what was I doing again?
[WDD walks off camera. Shortly after, Maria walks into the locker room]
Maria: HAHAHA! I KNEW IT!
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Post by Ultimo Chocula on Aug 19, 2005 21:27:55 GMT -5
(Ultimo Chocula is still walking around backstage. He pokes his head in another door and finds somebody, but he's not exactly thrilled. Tom Stone, the pear shaped jobber, is the only guy there.)
UC: "Bloody O. I guess you'll do. Look here, Tom. I got this tag match next week against that cross dressing mama's boy Michael Cole and his lumpy sidekick Heineken next week. I need a partner but since you're all I can find, I guess you'll do. Since I don't want to lose this thing you'll understand if I don't tag you in, right?"
Tom: "Are you kidding? I'm not going to tag with you! You're a loser!"
UC: (totally flabbergasted) "Ex-cuuuuuuuuse me?"
Tom: "I saw the last PPV and you got spanked! I don't need to tag with somebody like you. I don't need that kind of publicity."
UC: "I just beat Ric Flair!"
Tom: "But you had to cheat. That's pretty weak. As for me, I'm on a hot streak and I don't need you jeopardizing my credibility here."
UC: "Where do you get off, jerky? You haven't won a match in 16 years!"
Tom: "True, but I almost got a move off in my match last week against Boris Zhukov. Did you see it? I came this close! (holds his fingers about an inch apart) And next week, I'm gonna hit an arm drag! I can feel it!"
UC: "Let me get this straight. You, biggest loser ever with a bad haircut and pasty wonder gut, won't tag with me, super sexy ultra stud and future of this company. How many shots to the head have you taken?"
Tom: "Sorry, Ultimo. I'd rather not associate with the likes of you."
(Tom circles his ear with his index finger and makes the "coo coo" noise. UC kicks Tom in his ever present gut and starts wailing on him with a series of fists. UC grabs Tom by his bowl cut and drags him into a bathroom stall where he sees Big Show has left a floater. UC shoves Tom's face in the toilet and flushes. Tom gurgles and thrashes around before UC lets go and leaves. Tom is gasping for air before finally calming down a bit.)
Tom: "Bleach! Uggh....man. I almost had him that time."
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Post by Oceanic on Aug 19, 2005 22:10:11 GMT -5
Wendy Richter is already in the ring when the lights dim and Oceanic's music plays. She comes out to a nice pop and enters the ring. A lot of the fans seem to like her now although she still gets whistles when she takes off her sarong. The lights come back up and the bell rings.
Both women tie up. Richter winds up the arm but Oceanic reverses into a wind up of her own. Richter tries to reverse back into her own wind up but gets an elbow to the jaw. Oceanic grabs Richter by the head and elbows the back of her neck a couple times. She then puts Richter in a cobra clutch, rolls over her head, and lands so Richter is in the sitting position with Oceanic still applying the cobra clutch and with her legs wrapped around Richter's stomach. This position gets a few catcalls from the frat guys in the audience. Oceanic only applies enough pressure to wear Richter down, who is struggling to break free. After a few moments Oceanic breaks the hold as Richter struggles to stand. Richter is on all fours as Oceanic measures then hits her with a soccer kick in the face that sends Richter down in a heap. Oceanic goes for a pin.
1......... 2.......... Richter gets a shoulder up. Oceanic winds Richter's arm up again and applies pressure so that Richter is bending over. Oceanic gives her two kicks in the stomach then swings her leg over and axe kicks Richter in the back of the head, letting go over her arm and sending her back to the canvas. Oceanic picks Richter up and gives her a belly to belly suplex. Immediately Oceanic is back on her with an arm bar with a step over so Richter can't get her other arm up to fight Oceanic off. Richter struggles some more but can't move much. Finally Richter inches her way to her knees then to a standing position. Richter knees Oceanic in her stomach and the hold is broken. Richter punches Oceanic in the head a few times then sends her into the ropes for a clothesline attempt. Oceanic sees it coming and grabs Richter's arm, sending her flipping to the canvas. Oceanic leg drops her arm and applies another arm bar. A few minutes go by and Richter is back up again. She backs Oceanic up the ropes and Irish whips her. Oceanic goes for a high cross body but Richter ducks sending Oceanic crashing to the mat. Richter nails a bulldog and goes for a quick pin.
1........... Kick out. Richter body slams Oceanic and drops an elbow. She puts Oceanic in a small package.
1........ Kick out again. Richter picks Oceanic up and gives her a pile driver. She covers again.
1......... 2........ Oceanic kicks out. Richter climbs to the second turnbuckle and waits for Oceanic to get up. Oceanic is up now and Richter leaps off for an axe handle but Oceanic throws a hard stiff kick right in Richter's stomach as she flies through the air. Richter hits the mat with the breath knocked out of her. Oceanic climbs to the top turnbuckle and waits for Richter to stand up. Richter stands still trying to get her breath and Oceanic leaps off and nails her with a missile dropkick. Oceanic is right on Richter and applies These Arms Are Snakes dead center in the ring. Richter is flailing like mad but can't escape. Oceanic has the hold in tight and Richter has no choice but to tap out.
Oceanic's hand is raised by the referee and is declared the winner. She goes over to Richter who is lying on the mat and clutching her arm in severe pain. She whispers "Good match" into Richter's ear then makes her way to the back.
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Post by DSR on Aug 20, 2005 0:07:39 GMT -5
*DSR is standing by with Sum Guy.
Sum Guy: DSR, you heard the challenge laid out by Spaz. Do you accept? What are your thoughts?
DSR: Hmmmm...nice offer, Spaz. But...I'm sorry, no. It's not gonna happen. You want a no-DQ match?! It's so obvious that you couldn't get the job done at No Rest for the Wicked! Now, you wanna get to use weapons and s*** AGAINST ME in some garbage match of your design! Look, I understand you can't get the job done in a WRESTLING match, but that doesn't mean you get to take my title with assistance from a chair, or a table, or some barbed wire. No, sorry, F*** YOU. If you're lucky enough to get Toomi to grant you your rematch, it's gonna be under PURE wrestling rules! If you don't understand what I'm talking about, <condescending> I'll be happy to explain it to you, little boy.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I've gotta go wrestle a guy whose biggest put down is that his opponent is "cheap." See ya.
*End Scene.
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Post by DSR on Aug 20, 2005 0:54:55 GMT -5
*Back from commercial, as John Cena comes out to a pretty big pop. Cena jumps around and acts all hard for his adoring fans. He gets in the ring and takes the mic.
Cena: Yo yo yo yo YO YO YO YO YO YO YOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
*DSR walks out.
DSR: Shut the F*** up! Now, if you'll excuse me...
*DSR walks back behind the curtain. "Aboard the Leper Colony" by Kane Hodder plays, as DSR comes out, with Sexy Translator by his side. DSR gets in the ring, as the fans boo him mightily. DSR takes the mic.
DSR: Now then...
Crowd: OLE! OLE OLE OLE! OLEEE! O-OLLLEEEEEE!!!!!!
DSR: Real cute. Now then, I don't wanna hear any nonsense about you shacking up with Sexy Translator, Cena, because you and I both know that never happened. And I certainly don't wanna hear you spout some nonsense about <sarcastically> "REAL RECOGNIZES REAL." And lastly, I don't wanna hear you say one g***amn word about poop. It's really odd when your promos revolve around s***, considering that's approximately what your ring skills amount to.
*Cena grabs DSR and starts brawling. DSR takes a few punches before he starts laying in some chops to the chest. Cena and DSR alternate, Cena punching, DSR chopping, before Cena grabs DSR and whips him into the ropes. Cena ducks for a back body drop, but DSR comes back and kicks Cena in the chest. DSR then clotheslines Cena down to the mat. DSR and Cena get up at roughly the same time, Cena goes for a punch, DSR ducks and goes behind Cena. DSR locks his hands and hits a Release German Suplex! DSR climbs the top rope, only for Cena to get up and hit DSR. DSR falls, crotching himself on the top turnbuckle. Cena climbs up and grabs DSR, delivering a Super Plex! Cena runs the ropes, dusts off the shoulder, and delivers a Five Knuckle Shuffle. Cena goes for the pin, but DSR kicks out at 1. Cena picks DSR up, but DSR lays in the chops some more.
DSR: You thought you could beat me with a PUNCH?!
*DSR chops Cena again, then whips him with force into the turnbuckle. Cena hits the turnbuckle with his chest and staggers out of the corner. DSR runs to the ropes, springboards like he's going for the Lion Tamer, but instead grabs Cena on his way down, applying the Dragon Sleeper! Cena flails about wildly, managing to hit DSR in the face with his free hand. DSR breaks the hold and stomps on Cena's chest a few times. DSR gets to the corner, as Cena stands up. DSR comes out with a Clothesline from TRL, but Cena grabs DSR and picks him up. The crowd cheers as Cena drops DSR with the FU! Cena rolls over onto DSR, and the ref counts.
ONE! TWO! THR-DSR kicks out. Cena gets up and grabs DSR. Cena puts DSR up on the top turnbuckle. Cena follows DSR up and sets up for another Super Plex. DSR counters, chopping Cena a few times, before grabbing him. DSR then hits the BRAINBUSTAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!
DSR: OLE!
*The crowd boos, as DSR grabs the fallen Cena, and delivers the TURBONEGRO DESTROYER! DSR rolls over onto Cena, and the ref counts.
ONE! TWO! THREE!
Finkel: The winner of the match, and STILL EWT WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, D! S! R!
*The ref hands DSR his World Title belt. Sexy Translator gets in the ring and helps DSR celebrate.
DSR: Fireman's Carry, my ass, Cena!
*DSR raises the title over his head, as the crowd showers DSR with hatred. End scene.
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Post by Teddy Awesome- Back in Style on Aug 20, 2005 1:23:12 GMT -5
Fink: The scheduled match is a VIAGRA ON A POLE MATCH! First person to grab the viagra off the pole wins the match.
[Dean Douglas’ music comes on as he comes out and walks down the ramp. He is in his khakis, polo shirt and smart-ass glasses. He’s yelling profanities and big words he hopes they don’t understand at the crowd.]
Fink: From Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Weighing in at 249 pounds and standing at a height of 6’1. DEAN DOUGLAS!
[He gets into the ring and awaits his opponent. He takes off his shirt and pants to reveal his wrestling singlet with the crest of Bethany College in the middle of his chest.
Fight for your Right begins to play as the light dim.]
Fink: And from Ottawa, Ontario. At a weight of 210 and standing also at 6’1. He is part of the Billion Dollar Corporation. THEO “The Human Whoopass Machine” RUMM!
[Nothing…]
Fink: Umm… THEO ‘The Human Whoopass Machine” RUMM!
[Nope… Nothing]
[Fink is shrugging to the Dean as nothing happens and the lights go back to normal as the music and toomitron stops.
A few moments of silence… Dean is getting paranoid and looks behind him.
The Toomitron regains life as a live video feed turns on. Theo is in front of a camera. Serious as ever.]
Theo (Toomitron): Hey, Douglas! Up here! HEY, GUY WHO IS CURRENTLY GETTING HIS GIMMICK STOLEN BY THE TWO WRESTLING MEMBERS OF THE P.T.A! LOOK AT ME! Thank you. Sorry I couldn't make it, but you see, I'm not going to have this match with you. First of all, being in this match makes me too easy of a target for WhoopDeeDoo, or any of the Triple Threat for that matter, to attack me. I'm not that stupid after all… I know… hard to believe it... especially for you, seeing as you think everybody’s a moron. Second of all, I think that this match is degrading and idiotic, and so I don't really want to get involved. And you know what? If Toomi doesn't like it, I don't care. But maybe WhoopDeeDoo wouldn't mind working this match. I'm sure he would jump at the chance for some free Viagra! It would give a whole new meaning to the words working stiff, wouldn't you say? Eh? EH? Bu-
[Suddenly, a man in a Unoriginal mask jumps through the crowd, over the guardrails, into the ring, and grabs the Viagra and tries to get out, but he falls of the turnbuckle and gets tangled in the ropes and his mask falls off. It's Michael Cole!]
Theo (Toomitron): You HAVE TO be kidding... COLE!
Cole: [Still bruised from earlier] Nah, dith ithn't what it lookth like!
[Security drag Cole out of the arena]
Theo (Toomitron): God dammit… well... that was a definitely weird thing to happen. So anyway, as I was saying, I gotta jet. Whoop might find me any minute now.
[The Toomitron fades to black. Dean Douglas looks around curelessly, and finally climbs out of the ring]
Fink: Uh… I guess that your winner for this match, folks, by forfeit… DEAN DOUGLAS!
[Dean looks confused but happy to get a win. He celebrates like he actually won the WWE Intercontinental Championship and held for more then 11 minutes way back when in 1995. He walks back to the backstage area.]
[Commercial]
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Post by Banned Member on Aug 20, 2005 2:36:04 GMT -5
Fink: The following match is set for one fall with a 20 minute time limit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Chris Masters music hits,and Masters comes out,and posses at the entranceway,and makes his way down to the ring,and as he steps though the ropes,and grabs the mic from Fink.*
Masters: Yes I am at my prime physique,and yes I know this is a regular match,but if this so called Mercenary can break my Master lock in this match,and get the win. Which he won't cause no one breaks the Master lock. I am prepared to give this Mercenary fifty thousand dollars! I wi............................................
*Before Masters can finish what he is saying Step Up blares over the PA,and out walks Merc,and Mia,and without stopping to pose at the top of ramp Merc run downs,and slides in the ring,but in mid slide Masters meet Merc midway,and starts stomping on his back. Masters than picks up Merc,and suplexs him. Mia is shown on the outside looking worried. Masters continues the assault with an elbow drop fallowed by a knee to Merc's back,and as Merc gets up Masters body slams Merc hard onto the canvas. Masters than picks up Merc again,and gives him several back breakers. Masters than looks at Mia,and signals for the Master lock,but as Masters goes for the move Merc hits a desperation punch,and Masters,and Merc start trading blows. Masters quickly follows up with a knee to Merc's gut,and Irish whips Merc to towards the rope,but Merc tries to get a jumping forearm in,and Masters moves at the last sec. Making Merc hit the ref. Masters than gets behind Merc,and puts the Master lock on Merc,and Merc whose back is already sore,and beaten is no match for it. Mia seeing that the ref is out grabs a chair,and slides in the ring,and hits Masters in the back with it causing Masters to break the hold. Masters turns around,and starts going towards Mia blocking her off in the corner,and grabbing her hair,and yelling at her, but Merc comes too his sense's,and seeing Mia in trouble grabs the nearby chair,and clobbers Masters over the head with it. Masters gets a dazed look in his eyes,and turns around only to be kicked in the gut,and set over in the corner. Merc than sets Masters on the top,and follows him,and than hits The Payoff ,and Masters head lands right on the chair. Merc slides the chair out of the ring. As Mia revives the ref. Merc than falls on top of Masters for the 3 count. Merc gets up slowly with help from Mia holding his back in pain. The ref than hands Merc the money. Merc than smiles that deep sadistic smile,and kisses Mia. Merc holds open the ropes for Mia,and the two head back up the ramp.*
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Aug 20, 2005 3:46:00 GMT -5
*Spaz is standing backstage.*
S: So DSR you finally proved that you are scared of me. The only reason you don't want to agree to my match is that you know that without outside help I will beat you. But it's ok DSR it's ok. I am so confident that I am better tahn you that I will take you on in any match that you want. Submission match, Last Man Standing, Iron Man or Cage Match I don't care I will beat you! Give me a rematch DSR, if you have the cojones that is.
*Cut To Commercial.*
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Post by DSR on Aug 20, 2005 9:12:06 GMT -5
*DSR gets right up in Spaz's face.
DSR: What are you, deaf?! I f***ing told you I don't want your little match because you're gonna pull a chair or some other ExTrEmE bulls*** to steal my title! Evidently you don't know what a pure wrestling match is, so let me lay it out for you, sonny. Pure wrestling rules means:
1. No closed fists. 2. 20 count outside the ring. 3. You can use the ropes to break a submission hold three times. After the third time, I can use the ropes to my advantage, without the ref doing anything. And the same rule applies for you. 4. The title WILL change hands on a countout or disqualification.
What I'm talking about is a REAL wrestling match. I will prove to you that I can beat you, without interference! This isn't about you getting your hands on a weapon in order to win the belt. This is about finding out that I'm the BETTER man. No weapons, no outside interference, just me beating you and proving that I'm everything I say I am! So get your ass into a training program, cause evidently you don't know a THING about wrestling, and I fully intend to capitalize on THAT little weakness, ya prick.
*DSR shoves Spaz's face. Spaz and DSR start fighting in the hallway, before Security comes out and breaks the two of them up. End Scene.
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Post by whoopdeedoo on Aug 20, 2005 10:21:18 GMT -5
[WDD is walking around backstage, closely followed by Curtrok, Botchberg, and Andy]
WDD: [Stops] Alright, I've had enough of this, we're never going to find him if we keep doing this.
Curtrok: What are you suggesting?
WDD: I'm suggesting that we split up. I'll go this way (points north), Botchberg will go this way (points south), Andy will go this way (points east), and Curtrok will go this way (points west).
Andy: Whatever. [Walks off]
Curtrok: We better find him. [Walks off]
Botchberg: BLEARGH! [Walks off]
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Post by Chrysta on Aug 20, 2005 14:48:01 GMT -5
*We're back in the same icy area as before,as we fade in and out on different parts until we see Chrysta,with her eye makeup on, looking out at the cold,frozen mountains.*
Chrysta:Those mountains.Those mountains have been frozen for as long as I can remember.
So frozen.So cold.
Cold like my heart.Cold like the memories I have of my family.
Of my father throwing us out.Of my mother dying.
And you...all of you...all you cheery wrestlers in EWT...you shall know how a cold shoulder truly feels.For when I arrive next week,HELL will FREEZE!OVER!
NEXT WEEK THE ICE QUEEN COMETH!
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Post by dorf on Aug 20, 2005 15:09:02 GMT -5
*Scheme Gene is interviewing finally a belittled Dorf (no Diva-Dorf due to an injury) after No Rest for the Wicked*
Gene: Dorf, with your strong outcome at No Rest for the Wicked what does your future hold in EWT?
Dorf: (laughs) Lemme tell ya something Scheme Gene, I'm here and here for one reason only and that is to become the next EWT World Heavyweight Champion. That all stopped when David Adams produced a new film based on his father, which is aptly named, Marcel Adams: A Tribute. This movie is up for 9 Academy Awards as we speak.
The reason I mention this film is because he solely promisied me that I would be mentioned in the film, but no...he instead put me in cameo roles with matches of the Communist Stable flourishing. This led to EWTs 2nd best ppv this year to date, Saved by the Bell: The College Years, a battle that is still considered to be a top-notch five star match. I saved all my energy for that day risking another injury after being out with injuries from three months before. And what did I get? I got a piece of David Adams property and I held it proudly, til the mention of a Triple-Threat Ladder by our EWT General Manager, Toomi Bischoff.
I thought the idea was brilliant as I would use the AbDorftion to David Adams once more on top of the ladder and I did. I did everything that I can do and one man ruined my chance to retain the EWT OX Title. And that man is you, Ultimo Chocula. You see, I was inches away from touching the belt and then you interfered and ruined my hopes...TWICE! Twice in the whole match.
I thought I finished David Adams for good, but you had to go and ruin it Chocula, like a friggin' green rookie you still are. You messed this match up for me and you in that match Chocula...and I propose to you, next week...*crowd cheers* that you and I will meet one-on-one for the #1 contender of the EWT Ox Title held by Adams.
What do you say Chocula? Are you chicken? Because I am derservable at the top and I will prove it to you that your EWT status will be tragically short here by me, your eventual champion, Dorf! I know I can't wait, because *laughs* HO, HO I want David Adams to lose to me so he can truly fear the AbDorftion for the rest of his F(bleep)'in LIFE! *Dorf leaves*
Gene: Now, those were strong words by a man whose career has had a tough start, but after those two instant classics from No Rest for the Wicked and Saved by the Bell: The College Years, the future looks promising for this tough EWT superstar.
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Post by whoopdeedoo on Aug 20, 2005 17:33:52 GMT -5
[Andy is walking down a hallway, peering around corners Metal Gear Solid style. Suddenly a shadow appears behind him. Andy turns around, and it's Theo Rumm with a trashcan. Theo boots Andy in the stomach, then slams the can over Andy's head. Andy tries to get the trash can off of him, but Theo then superkicks Andy, and he goes down like a ton of bricks. Theo walks off, dusting his hands off]
[Minutes later, Botchberg is walking around the lobby]
Botchberg: What was I doing here again?
[Suddenly, Theo Rumm leaps out of nowhere, but Botchberg sidesteps him. Theo loses his balence and falls. Botchberg waits for him to get up and SPEAR! Nope nevermind. Theo sidesteps Botchberg, and Botchberg crashes into the wall, effectively knocking him out. Theo laughs to himself and walks off]
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Aug 20, 2005 17:42:49 GMT -5
*Video package is shown that features this highlite from earlier regarding Spaz.*
Spaz, I find it funny how you're trying to throw orders & challenges around here. Thing is Spaz, you tried. You tried & you blew it.
This is the third lowest rated pay per view & do you know what the other 2 were? The ones involving you in the main event.
Why would I want to give you another shot? You have yet to deliever. You're not marketable. DSR, now he's marketable. Hell, even that good for nothing A-Bomb was marketable to the Homosexual Community as a hero. But you, Spaz, you're dull. You're boring.
And you're back to the bottom of the ladder again, my friend. But, there is one way you can redeem your spot for the title. One way & one way only. BUT I don't feel like telling you just yet. You will have to wait, my friend...just like everybody else.
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Post by Teddy Awesome- Back in Style on Aug 20, 2005 19:11:03 GMT -5
[Fight for Your Right hits and Theo Rumm goes down to the ring, followed by A-Bomb and Les E. Biase]
Theo: [Grabs a mic] Alright WhoopDeeDoo, you've been looking for me for a long time haven't you? Well, I'm right here, unfortunately, since I took out Andy and Botchberg, I don't think you and Curtrok will be able to take on all three of us. But that's not why I'm out here, you see. I'm out here to announce that I have decided what match we are going to have when we meet again. It is a match so deadly, so devastating in it's design, and so original that it-
A-Bomb: Uh, Theo?
Theo: What?
A-Bomb: It's not that original, actually.
Theo: Huh?
A-Bomb: It's not original, it's been done before.
Theo: No it hasn't.
A-Bomb: Yes it has.
Theo: No, it hasn't.
A-Bomb: Yes, it has.
Theo: Just be quiet for a second A-Bomb. I don't care if the match has been done one, twice, or a million times, I just care that I beat your ass into the ground one last time once I fight you again WhoopDeeDoo. And mark my words, I wi-
[Suddenly, WDD jumps the guardrail, chair in hand, slides into the ring behind the BDC. He swings and hits Les in the back. Theo and A-Bomb dash out of the ring. WDD grabs the fallen mic]
WDD: That one was for No Rest for the Wicked! [Hits Les again] That one was for humiliating me! [Hits Les one more time] And that....was just because I felt like it. And by the way Theo, I don't care if it's a barbed wire rope match with a salted ring that your proposing to Toomi. Because no matter the match, I will BEAT YOUR ASS!
[Theo and A-Bomb stare down WDD, until finally exiting the entrance ramp]
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