Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Aug 22, 2005 10:48:43 GMT -5
*Just before Carl leaves,the Ragnals come out of Toomi's office,talking about the decision Toomi made.The Ragnals come eye to eye with Carl.
MIKE:Oh...it's you.
CARL:Ah,fans of mine?
JOE:More like protestors.
CARL:What's this?You people are protesting against peace?
MIKE:No,not that!
LINDA:What the hell do you think you're doing here?
CARL:Why,to bring peace,that's what the heck I'm doing here.
MIKE:Well,this ain't the right place.You can't just come into EWT and job to a jobber,dammit!
JOE:That.Ain't.Right!
CARL:Are you saying I shouldn't be spreading the word of peace around here?That's bull feces.
LINDA:Only if you're not here to wrestle!
MIKE:Look,Carl,as much as peace is a good thing to spread,this ain't the place OR the way to do it.And so help me,if you do enter a ring again and you lose to Spike Dudley,Viscera,Gene Snitksy,Crowbar,or even WHO!I will come down to the ring,and I will knock a different sort of piece out of you!
And THAT'S the Shocking Truth!
*The Ragnals walk off.Carl looks at the Ragnals,and then looks around,unsure how to react.Fade to black.*
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Post by Joel, Mike, Currently...? on Aug 22, 2005 12:14:19 GMT -5
Vaguely Mexican music begins to play, sounds like it might be Carlos Santana. Carlos' brother (IT'S A JOKE) runs down, jumping through the air, shouting much ARRIBAS and ANDALES and the like. He jumps up to the apron and flips over the top rope, and waits. "Radio Radio" by Elvis Costello can now be heard. Joel is still wearing nerd garb, keeping the nerd dream alive, and the crowd cheers him for it. Joel runs down the ramp and slides under the ropes. Joel leaps up and ducks a clothesline from Santana. Joel hits a low back kick to Tito's shin, and Tito falls forward. Joel jumps down and wraps his legs around Tito's neck in a leg-scissors, and grabs Tito's left arm, twisting it into an armbar.
Joel twists Tito's arm harder and harder. Joel lets go of his scissors, chickenwings the armbarred arm, and chickenwings the other. Joel stands up, double chickenwing still locked in, and lifts Santana up ever so slightly, and falls back down, slamming Tito into the mat face-first. Joel rolls Tito up into a pin, scoring only a two count. Joel rolls of Tito and backs up into the ropes. Joel comes off the ropes and hits a low drop kick to the still downed Tito's left shoulder. Joel then locks in a fujiwara armbar. After a while, he gets up, backs into the ropes, and drops a knee onto Tito's shoulder. Joel locks in a River City Stretch, but Tito gets his hand on the rope.
Tito now makes a comeback. Tito springs to his feet, and begins chopping against Joel's chest. He then begins to hand forearms to Joel's head in rapid succession, ten at the end. Tito clotheslines Joel, hits the ropes, and hits Joel with a running splash. Tito covers Joel for a two-count. Tito gets up and sets him up for a slingshot. Tito slings Joel into the air, but Joel catches himself on the ropes, and leaps back, hitting Santana witha flying cross body. Joel picks up Tito by his head, and sets up the Ryu-Ken Clash. Suddenly, Joel falls over due to a chair to the back from Mike. Mike begins a vicious beat down on Joel. Tito gets up, and receives a DDT for his troubles. Mike locks Joel in a Texas Cloverleaf, and won't let go until the refs run down to break it up. Security escorts Mike to the back, and as we are EWT, no-dq, the match continues.
Tito is up on the top-rope. Joel is slowly getting to his feet. When Joel is up, Tito comes off the top for the Flying Forearm. Joel steps back, and catches Tito in mid-air. Joel loops Tito's legs over his shoulders, and steps over his arms, and hits the Ryu-Ken Clash. He rolls him over into a pin, and the ref counts to three, scoring a win for Joel. Joel then walks to the back, furious over Mike's interference. ***
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Post by Joel, Mike, Currently...? on Aug 22, 2005 12:24:39 GMT -5
Josh Matthews catches up with Joel backstage.
Josh: Joel Nelson, just moments ago, you were attacked by your former tag-team partner and best friend Mike Hodgson. Now I know you can't be feeling happy, but I'd like to get your thoughts.
Joel: Josh, I wouldn't tell anyone but you, a fellow nerd like myself, with your superior knowledge of indy wrestling, about how I feel. Josh, this sucks. This sucks worse than fighting Gut-Man without the Cut-Man power-up. This is worse than trying to take on M. Bison with T-Hawk. Worse than going to the Northern Wind God Isle without the Iron Boots. Mike, you were my best friend. We were on top of the world. I made a mistake, but we could have fixed it and been on top again. But you chose the easy path and blamed me for everything. Well Mike, I was just on my way to Toomi's office. If you truly think I'm responsible for your misfortune, then you'll try to take me on in.....a Ladder Match. High above the ring, will be my Gamecube. If you can grab it, then you can do whatever the hell you want with it. But if I get it...well then, i guess I'll be playing Zelda all night, won't I?
Joel walks off, leaving Josh behind.
Josh: Between you and me.....I'm not a big fan of Zelda. I'm more of a Donkey Kong guy, really...
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Post by briangold on Aug 22, 2005 12:49:46 GMT -5
Uncle Elmer is already in the ring by the time "I'm Sorry Ms. Nelson" begins to play. Mike makes it about mid-ramp by the time Joel leaps out of the crowd and blasts him with a chair. Mike stumbles down to the ring, and Joel rolls him in. Joel reaches under the ring and pulls out a kendo stick and tosses that, the chair, and himself into the ring. Joel lays out Mike with the chair again, and when Uncle Elmer interferes, he plasteres him with the chair as well. Joel takes up the Kendo stick and locks in the River City Stretch with it, pulling the cane across Mike's face. He keeps this up until security makes their way out. Joel lays out every security guard to come across his path with the kendo stick. Mike is getting up, and is punched in the head by Joel. Joel pulls up Mike and sets him up for the Clash. He shuffles his way towards the chair on the mat, and hits the Ryu-Ken Clash onto the chair. Joel rolls off Mike, and pulls Uncle Elmer on top of Joel. Joel jumps down and makes the three count, and rolls out of the ring. The crowd isn't sure what to think, but pops anyway due to the great violence they just witnessed.
Joel makes his way to the back, and Security tries to help Mike up. We go to commercial...
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Post by viscera on Aug 22, 2005 13:52:26 GMT -5
Principal Pain and The Canceler walk up to the Open Contract and examine it.
Pain: Hmmm... the perfect chance to get a change to dethrone this Demented Steven Richards... I am intrigued.
Pain quickly signs his name on the sheet... Canceler letting out a loud grunt and grabbing the writing instrument from Pain and quickly scribbling his own name down. Pain looks at him a second.
Pain: Now Canceler? Surely... you wouldn't rather... let me enter alone? I mean, it will give myself a better chance at getting my number one contedorship spot... and eliminating those other unowrhty weaklings. While if you enter... you might lose and I might be distracted by yoru loss and lose as well. So... I'll just erase your name...
As Pain tries to cross out Canceler's name... the huge man grabs the writing untensil and chucks it in the other direction... watching it smack Sum Guy in the back of ehad.
Sum Guy: I'm Sum Guy and you people need to stop pickin on me!!!
Pain looks at Canceler and glares.
Pain: Fine... but if it comes down to the two of us... I will show you NO MERCY... my student...
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Post by invaderdave on Aug 22, 2005 13:52:39 GMT -5
Drums begins to play. Just drums, and nothing but drums. Steve Blackman walks out and practices his martial art a bit, and then makes his way down, but the thing is, there is no reaction, almost Conway silence going on right now.
"No More Tears" starts up, and the pops begin to make their presence known, as Dave, yes, STILL wearing trunks and boots, making the transition complete. Dave slides into the ring, and waits in his corner. The bell rings, and both Dave and Blackman meet in the middle of the ring. Dave starts with low side kick to Steve's thigh, then another, and then follows up with a quick punch rush. Dave pulls Blackman down with a sort of inverted double chickenwing, and keeps it held on. Blackman doesn't tap out, but rolls over Dave, and put his head into a leg scissors. Dave pushes him off, and goes to his corner. Blackman runs over to his and tries a bicycle kick, but Dave ducks it, pops up, and punches him hard twice in the ribs. Dave picks him up and puts him in a torture rack, and jumps down into a back breaker-esque move.
The ref warns him about just such a move, and Dave waves off the warning. Dave goes for a side-kick, but Blackman crushes him elbow down on it, nearly breaking Dave's leg in the process. Dave limps to his corner, and Mr. Miyagi tries to help.
Dave: I'm fine Mr. Miyagi.
Mr. Miyagi: David-san, shut up.
Mr. Miyagi presses down on Dave's leg.
Mr. Miyagi: Better?
Dave: No!
Dave gets up, and faces Blackman again. Dave hits the Crane Stance, and Blackman makes his move. Dave jumps up, but lands on both feet, and clotheslines Blackman out of his karate shoes. Dave sets him up, and hits a devastating Ki-Krusher, and then locks in the STF-w/ Grapevine, now called the SPF (Steven's Point Facelock) and Blackman quickly taps out. Dave gets on the house mic...
Dave: One year. It's been a year since I joined the Extreme Wrestling Threaderation. In that year, I've been the OX Division Champion, which is one of the best damn reigns for that title ever, and I've been the Tri-State Champion, a belt I relinquished to some cheese-sandwhich eating freak. I have yet to be in the running for this company's top belt. If it takes me another full year, if it takes me the rest of my life, I WILL HOLD THAT BELT. And if I have to break backs, snap spines, and even kill a man just to do it, then I swear to God I will. Gear up, Cheese Heads, Davey's bringing the title home.
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Post by heidendorf on Aug 22, 2005 15:20:35 GMT -5
*Camera pans backstage...a familar grunt is heard*
(grunt) *crowd cheers*
*Camera turns around to show Heiden-Dorf streching in his locker room. Once done streching, Heiden-Dorf talks to the crowd.*
Heiden-Dorf: (grunts) Me back...for good. For me...it be awhile...for being gone...from EWT. Me had...serious tumor...and it be...go bye now. Me English...is still...not the best, but...the Cheese Sandwich...monkey is...no longer with...me. Since me evil...is gone, who wants...to be...Heiden-Dorf's friend?
*Crowd cheers majestically, but Heiden-Dorf is confused*
Heiden-Dorf: <grunt?> Me have...friends? Me be cool? *A fan shows her sign up that says 'I <3 Heiden-Dorf!'* Who has...the sign...'I less than 3...Heiden-Dorf!'...see me...in the back...RIGHT NOW!
*The female fan is screaming as she is helped down by security and taken to the back to meet with Heiden-Dorf. Camera fades for a commercial as the crowd is happy for the return of Heiden-Dorf.*
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Post by Y2Jericho on Aug 22, 2005 19:09:43 GMT -5
The camera is on the ring with Matt Hardy in it waiting for Madd Matt to come.
The lights fade as Life to Lifeless by Killswitch Engage comes on and Matt Rage sprints down to the ring and explodes on Matt Hardy hitting forearm after forearm on the back of Matt Hardy's head. Matt Hardy then slides out of the ring to the floor. While Hardy has his back turned, Matt Rage dives over the top rope onto Hardy. Rage rolls Hardy into the ring and stands on the apron. He springs up to the top rope and goes for a legdrop but Hardy moved. Hardy then proceeds to whip Matt Rage in the corner stomping him and eventually hitting a ring-shaking superplex. Hardy goes for the cover.
1..............2........No! Matt Rage kicks out
Hardy then picks up Rage and sets up for a Twist Of Fate. Rage fights out of it and pulls off a headscissor takedown on Hardy. Matt puts Hardy in the corner and runs into Hardy with a huge clothesline. Hardy seems to be out. Rage pulls Hardy to his feet and signals for the Fury Drop. He proceeds to hit the Fury Drop and goes for the pin
1........2..........3!!
After the match, Matt Rage taunts Hardy. Hardy then chases after Rage as they brawl to the back while the camera fades out
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Post by viscera on Aug 22, 2005 22:24:04 GMT -5
Announcer: The following contest... is a Chain Match scheduled for one fall!!!
Hercules hernandez's theme starts playing and he makes his down to the ring, wearing his chains around his neck with Bobby Heenan accompanying him.
Announcer: Introducing first... being accompanyed to the ring by Bobby " the Brain " Heenan, from Tampa Florida, weighing in at 261 pounds, Hercules... Hernandez!!!
The Might Hercules gets booed pretty badly as he enters the ring awaiting his opponent. Suddenly, loud ehavy metal music hits the Toomitron.
Announcer: And from Birmingham Alabama... weighing in at 312 pounds, Paul Podanski!!!
Paul quickly slides into the ring... raising his fist into the air, when suddenly he's attacked from behind by Hercules before the bell rings. Herc hits Paul with a few shots to the back, taking early control. Paul groans and stumbles around the ring as Bobby cheers on Herc. As paul looks up, Herc goes for a stiff Arm clothesline and knocks Paul down, going for a cover
1...
But Paul kicks out rather quickly. Herc growls as Pauls gets to his feet, going for another shot to the face, but it's caught. Paul quickly takes control of the match, hitting Herc with lefts and rights, then taking him down with a clothesline of his own. Herc completely gets overpowered as paul starts dominating the match, picking up and slamming Herc down with a scoop slam, than hits a leg drop to the neck. He goes for a cover of his own.
1...2...
But this time, Herc kicks out. Paul looks at him and grabs him with a belly to back suplex to the mat. Herc is easily taken down as Paul goes for another quick cover.
1...2...
But again Herc kicks out. He rises to his feet, where he's met by a Yazuka kick from Paul, stumbling backwards as Paul lifts him up for an Appauler... holding him nearly five seconds in midair before slamming him down. Herc lays there as Paul bends down and unwraps the chains which are still around his neck. He then begans beating the bloody hell out of Herc with the chain wrapped around his fist, busting him open quickly.
Bobby Heenan quickly slides into the ring, trying to get Paul away, but he's met with another chained fist to the face, knocking him down. he then swiftly lifts up Hercules and spins him around... once... twice... three times four times.... FIVE TIMES>.. then hits a paulerbomb... into the cover.
1....2....3!!!
Announcer: here is your winner... Paul Podanski...
But Paul's not done. He lifts up Herc again and clothesline him back down... with the chain wrapped around his arm. He grabs the announcer's mic and looks at the Toomitron.
" P.T.A.! You try anything like you did last time... and I'll end both your sorry careers!!! "
Paul throws down the mike and quickly exits the ring, dropping the chain on the arena floor as a silenced crowd simply stares at the carnage... EMTs rushing out to help Hercules and Heenan backstage.
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ape
Unicron
Aunt Blabby Tells All.
bea wants all you sweathogs to take a look at what a REAL man is supposed to look like
Posts: 3,223
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Post by ape on Aug 22, 2005 22:38:48 GMT -5
*the camera fades into a close-up shot of ape's face. he has a towel on his head. he has a look of disgust on his face as he begins to speak.*
mr. bischoff...you careless fool....you were careless once...and i came back....you were careless twice....
*the camera pulls back and ape steps to the side to reveal the sheet on mr. bischoff's door. ape pulls a razor blade from his pocket and cuts his name into the sheet.*
....and now, ape....the cjtw world heavyweight champion....hehe...is going to become the next ewt world heavyweight champion....wouldn't you love that, mr. bischoff?....wouldn't that just make you the happiest man ever?...think of it....ape....announced the NEW.....three-time ewt world heavyweight champion....you remember my title reigns, mr. bischoff....you know...when i win that rumble.....when i win....when i win the ewt world heavyweight title....i will be holder of two world titles...i will have enough power...hehe....enough power....to run you out of the ewt....forever.
*ape grabs the towel from off his head and throws it to the ground. he then points at the camera and begins to yell.*
FOREVER!!....MR. BISCHOFF!!......MAIM ME IF YOU CAN!!...ESCAPE....hehe....escape......if.....i....let you....
*ape blades his forehead. as it bleeds, he puts his hand in the blood, then leaves his handprint on the sign-up sheet on mr. bischoff's door as the camera fades to black.*
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Post by Oceanic on Aug 22, 2005 23:07:55 GMT -5
Todd: "Hello everyone. Todd Grisham here. Oceanic has asked me to meet her by the sign up list for the upcoming Rumble. Here she is now. Oceanic, what is the meaning of this?"
Oceanic: "It's simple, Todd. I'm calling out Dr. Hillary Clitton yet again. Do you see this sign up sheet? Toomi said that anyone, man or woman could sign up for a shot at the World Title. Granted, beating the guys at their own game amuses me, but I have bigger plans for the Rumble."
Todd: "What do you mean? I don't understand."
Oceanic: "Here's how it works. Since I don't get a shot at the Girl Next Door belt, which Clitton cheated me out of, I have to find another way to tear that she beast a new one. A simple one on one match up is out of the question seeing as how she hasn't been in a ring in months, that is if you don't count running in on me. So that's why I'm at the sign up sheet. Clitton, I'm going to prove to you that I'm more of an athlete, not to mention woman, than you'll ever dream of being.."
Oceanic writes her name on the sign up sheet.
Oceanic: "There. Now it's your turn, Clitton. Prove to me that you have a spine. Sign up, right here under my name. I promise, if I go in sooner than you I won't touch anybody else until you enter. And once I've beaten you soundly and thrown you out, I'll eliminate myself. I don't care about winning the Rumble or getting a shot at DSR. I just want to show everyone how horrible a wrestler you really are."
Todd: "But what about the men? What will you do if someone like psychoapeguy comes at you?"
Oceanic looks at Todd for a few moments then gives him a very sly grin.
Oceanic: "They should know better than to &%$@ with me."
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Post by Banned Member on Aug 23, 2005 0:26:29 GMT -5
Mia is walking up the hall and sees an obviously drunk Billy Ubermark stumbling her way so she walks up to him and runs her finger up and down his chest..
he looks down at her finger gently touching him and he begins to sweat....He looks around and then looks back at Mia..
Mia-" Hi Billy..i am so glad to run into you because I find that I can NOT stop thinking about you"
BU-"*hiccup* but what about...um,......merl...merp...merc?"
Mia-" What about him? He doesn't need to know anything ..."
Just then Mia leans in and begins to softly kiss Billy's neck, then his earlobe, then his cheek.... He is sweating profusely and his heart is beating fast..
Mia-"lets take this to a more secluded location......."
Ubermark mutters a simple yet excited.."Mm Hmm"
Mia leads Billy into his dressing room...she is rubbing up and down on him and whispers to him once they have entered the room.."After tonight..you will no longer be called "the Virgin" and blows in his ear.......
He stumbles backwards and in the eagerness and anticipation of Mia's sweet words, he has not paid attention to who is standing behind him.....
*As Billy turns around he sees that Merc is standing there.*
Billy: Hey...Man back odd Mip...Mic...Mia is with me now!!!
Merc: Oh is that so?
*Merc looks at Mia,and Mia shakes her head in a no fashion.*
Merc: So you thought you try,and score points with my girl?
Billy: *Hiccup* Ey mon I say ack off!!!
*Billy throws a drunken punch at Merc. Which Merc avoids rather easily,and Billy almost falls over,but Merc grabs him,and throws Billy out the dressing room. Billy stumbles to get up,and Merc lays the feet to Billy. Billy retreats down the hall a little father,and Merc follows. Billy once again tries to get up,but Merc grabs him,and kicks open the Womens locker room,and standing there is Micheal Cole in full dominatrix gear. As Billy lays there on the floor almost passed out. Merc looks at Cole.*
Merc: Cole you really truly are a SICK FREAK!!!!
*Merc than closes the door,and gets in a forklift,and backs it up against the door. As Merc walks away you can hear Billy's drunken screams for help, but as Merc turns the corner he is speared from out of no where by BotchBerg,and as Merc lays there holding his ribs. Curtrok steps over to Merc,and leans down.*
CR: Come this week your secret will be revealed to all of the EWT,and you will be ruined!!!!!
*Curtrok than kicks Merc in the ribs for good measure,and as Curtrok leaves Mia runs over to check on Merc,and as the scene ends Merc is holding his ribs with a angry look in his eyes.*
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DQorDie
Bubba Ho-Tep
Believe in yourself & ROCK N ROLL!!!
Posts: 635
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Post by DQorDie on Aug 23, 2005 2:33:16 GMT -5
The camera is in the back. It's now focused on the hulking back of Flex Magnificent & Dr. Frederic Delavier who are in front of Toomi Bischoff's office about to sign the Royal Pain In The Ass RUmble contract, but there is some bickering
Flex Magnificent: Eeeewwwww. Look at all dis gross blood all ova da contract. Dis is gross!
Dr. Frederic Delavier: But just think about it....You can go on to glory & win the Rumble & continue to the Manifest Magnificence & win the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE!
FM: Haha. When you're right, you're right. Hahaha.
Flex signs the contract & both men go on their merry way. But as they are walking away they bump into HBH who is with his entourage of Gasoline & Rosa. Flex makes no mention of bumping into him & continues to walk back to his locker room. The camera is now on HBH who adjusts his title drapped over his shoulders & slightly pulls down his sunglasses.
Heartbreak Hitman: Ha....So this is the hoss that poor Limey couldn't handle. Haha. This guy is a push over. Haha hey didn't Limey want me to check this guy out while he was gone?
Gasoline: *wrenching his fist into his palm with a smile* Haha yeah.
HBH: Maybe I'll take him up on his offer. Afterall if I'm going to be carrying his ass for every match I may as well give him a wrestling clinic for when he returns from his vacation to nurse all his boo boos. Hahaha *collective laughter* Let's set this up.
HBH, Gas, & Rosa head to Toomi's office to discuss a possible match with Flex Magnificent.
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Aug 23, 2005 5:39:21 GMT -5
*Spaz walks up to Toomi's door. He takes out a pen & signs the Royal Pain In The Ass Rumble Contract.*
S: If this is what it takes to get another shot I will do it.
*Cut To Commercial.*
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Maelstrom
AC Slater
The Tide Will Turn!
Posts: 236
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Post by Maelstrom on Aug 23, 2005 5:45:46 GMT -5
*We are Backstage in the EWT and next to the Clipboard for the Rumble, Maelstrom walks into view*
Maelstrom: what is this?
*Maelstrom reads the contract*
Maelstrom: A chance at becoming World Heavyweight Champion . . . this is great . . I will be the first Tri-Heavyweight Champion . . . the Tide is Turning Today!
*Maelstrom grabs the pen and is about to sign*
Maelstrom: . . So who has signed up so far . . hmm . . Merc & Mia . . no problem . . the Canceler and Pain of the P.T.A . . the Giant of the EWT will find out that the current stops for no man Big or Small . . . who else is in the rivers flow. . Ape . . hmm . . . a psycho is always dangerous . . but not as dangerous as the Whirlpool! . . Oceanic . . well I just hope all the guys in back forgive and forget about that role reversal week . . lets see . . . Spaz . . out for a rematch and by far the man to beat . . but he has had his chance . . my Time is at hand . . Flex Magnificent . . . well the roided out freakshow had better watch out . . . because at the Rumble only Maelstrom will remain! . . .
*Maelstrom writes his name on the contract, then turns to the camera*
Maelstrom: Hey Billy, I don't see your name on here . . still feeling the might of the Vortex, the power of the Whirlpool . . *laughs*
*Micheal Cole with a microphone walks past whistling, he is carrying bag, it isn't quite zipped up though and his dominatrix outfit can be seen inside*
Micheal Cole: . . nah . . more like whiplash actually . .
*Maelstrom stops and stares at Cole for a second. Before Cole can so much as take another step, a kick to the gut and . . Whirlpool !! on Micheal Cole!*
Maelstrom: Sick, just sick . . . I will be the first Co-Title holder . . . the Water's rising . . . and no one is safe . . because . . .
*Crowd Chants 'The Tide WIll Turn' . . Maelstrom waits for them to finish*
Maelstrom: The Tide will Turn!
*Maelstrom disappears in a cloud of smoke as we cut to another commercial*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Aug 23, 2005 10:14:39 GMT -5
Announcer: This next contest is scheduled for one fall. Making his way to the ring first
STAND BACK!!! THERE'S A HURRICANE COMING THROUGH!!!
*Hurricane makes his way to the ring.*
Announcer: And his opponent is the Problem Maker, Bison Tonto.
*Tonto makes his way into the ring & charges right at Hurricane. Tonto grabs Hurricane, throwing him into the ropes & connecting with a big boot. Tonto yanks up Hurricane & nails a belly to back suplex. Tonto yanks up Hurricane again & throws him into the ropes. Tonto grabs Hurricane on the return & nails a sidewalk slam. Tonto then lifts Hurricane up again & throws him again, hitting a Spinebuster. Tonto covers Hurricane for the 1-2-3.*
Announcer: The winner of the match, the Problem maker Bison Tonto.
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Post by THE Dinobot on Aug 23, 2005 11:47:16 GMT -5
Howard Finkle is in the ring to introduce the next match.
Fink: The following contest is a special Ladder Match, and it is for the Ox-Division CHAMPIONSHIP!!!
First, making his way to the ring, from San Diago California, weighing in at 221 pounds, RAY MYSTERIO!!!!
*Mysterio makes his way to the ring, gets on the turnbuckles and hams it up for the fans.*
Fink: And his opponent, he is the Ox-Division champion, from Conway, Connecticut, weighing in at 224 pounds, he is....DAVID ADAMS!!!!
"Note To Self: Don't Die" by Ryan Adams plays and Adams makes his way out slowly. He stops and stairs at the ladder, and walks underneth it. Adams enters the ring, and takes off his robe.
*The bell rings* Ray dashes to Adams with a quick dropkick to the left knee. With a 2 punch combo to the back of the head to Adams, Ray takes his arm and applies the deadly armbar. Adams out-powers Ray and breaks the hold within seconds. Both men run against the ropes and goes for the dropkick...they do it again, and this time a double clothesline. Adams gets to his feet first and picks Ray up for a scoop slam. With Ray down, Adams decides to go to the outside to bring the ladder in, with the ladder in his arms, Ray runs against the ropes and gives a suicide dive through the ropes onto the ladder into Adams, and in the meantime, taking out himself as well. Both men lay motionless for about 20 seconds, until Ray pops up, and slowly slides the ladder into the ring. Ray sets the ladder up, and starts climbing.....but as a change of mind and instead of going for the title, he has a splash from the middle of the ring to the outside where Adams is still laying. Ray barely connected, taking the worst of the splash. Both men lay motionless, yet again. Adams is the first to his feet, but very, very slowly. Holding onto his neck, Adams looks around, and sees Ray out on the outside and the ladder still standing in the ring, so he as quickly as he can (which isn't very fast now), slides into the ring and slowly starts climbing the ladder....rung 1...2....3....reaches and can barely feel the gold on his fingertips. As he's climbing the forth (and final rung), out of nowhere, Ray comes with a dropkick to Adams' back from the top turnbuckle, causing Adams to fall off the ladder and the ladder to fall apon Adams. Ray takes a few seconds to get up, but he does at full speed. Ray hops out of the ring and looks underneth the ring, and brings out some rope. With rope in hand, Ray tries and ties Adams' hands to the ringropes. Now with Adams' all time up (all puns intended), Ray sets up the ladder, but before climbing, he points for the crowd, and the go absolutely banana. But meanwhile, Adams is talking (or yelling) to a ringside photographer, and bribes him untie his arms. And he does so (for a price), and Adams is lucky enough to stop Ray just mere moments before a new champion is crowned, when he runs up behind him and gives Ray a quick powerbomb. With the ladder still standing, Adams, wasting no more time climbs....and climbs. And when he reaches the top rung of the ladder, instead of reaching up for his title, he looks to the people, and decides to suddenly go for the massive elbow drop from the top of the ladder. And he hits it and the crowd loves it. After a 15 second pause, Adams' gets back to his feet, and wisely rolls Ray out of the ring, and climbs the ladder yet again, and finally grabs what is his.
WINNER - And still Ox-Division Champion.....DAVID ADAMS!!!
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Post by Poker Joker on Aug 23, 2005 13:27:08 GMT -5
(The scene opens up back at the shack near New Orleans. This time, its outside. Papa Shango and LaVue are roasting chickens over a pit outside the shop. The two are having a great time as Shango lies in a beaten-up lounge chair, and LaVue turns the chickens on the spit.)
*LaVue*: Ahhhh.... This is the life, ain't it, Shango?
*SHANGO*: That it is, my friend! That it is!
(Suddenly a voice can be heard from inside the shack.)
*BU*: Hello? Hello? WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS?!
*SHANGO*: Oh, no! Not him again!
*LAVUE*: Relax, Shango! Maybe we can milk this guppy for some more of his hard-earned money.
(The door to the back of the shack is burst open. Standing in the doorway is a beaten and bruised Billy "The Virgin" Ubermark. He carries the Tri-State Championship in one hand and the empty mason jug in the other. Billy throws the jug on the ground in front of LaVue. Billy is obviously quite ticked off.)
*BU*: Here's the container for your "magic potion!" In case you can't tell, it didn't work!
*LAVUE*: (staring in disbelief) What happened to you?
*BU*: What do you THINK happened to me?! I got jumped by Maelstrom after my match! Your damn potion didn't do a thing to keep him from beating the hell out of me! And to top it off, then I got jumped by Merc!
(LaVue looks at Papa Shango with a look of suprise in his eyes.)
*LAVUE*: Shango! Can you believe dis?! Dis guys really IS having problems wit' a spirit o' some kind?!
*BU*: What?
*LAVUE*: You.... You mean to tell me that dis Maelstrom thing is REAL?
*BU*: (confused) Of course he's real!
*LAVUE*: (in a state of disbelief) I've never heard o' such a thing! I mean, we sell dis stuff t' people who we figure are havin' problems in der head. We've never believed in any o' this stuff t' begin wit'.
*BU*: WHAT?!
*SHANGO*: Yeah. This is just a business to make a quick buck off of superstitious folks, like yourself.
*BU*: I'M NOT SUPERSTITIOUS! I DON'T EVEN GET NERVOUS WHEN I WALK UNDER A LADDER! WHAT THE HELL KIND OF VOODOO PRIEST ARE YOU, ANYWAYS?
*SHANGO*: I'm not a voodoo priest!
*BU*: You're not?
(Shango shakes his head.)
*BU*: But.... but you're Papa Shango! I saw you cast spells on Hulk Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior and guys like that.
*SHANGO*: Dude, you watched WAY too much Superstars of Wrestling when you were younger.
(Billy thinks for a second.)
*BU*: Really? ... You're not a voodoo priest? ....
*SHANGO*: That's what I'm saying.
*BU*: So why are you doing this for a living?
*SHANGO*: To make some money off my old gimmick. What else? You don't think Vince McMahon payed me THAT well, did you?
*BU*: Didn't he?
*SHANGO*: Well,... yeah, actually, he did. But then I had this gimmick where I'd come down to the ring accompanied by prostitutes... or "ho's," as I called them.... and I had a tendency to..... Well.... go through a lot of my money a lot quicker than before.
*BU*: So you guys are nothing but scam artists?!
*LAVUE*: Dat's about right! Ain't nothin' we can do t' help you wit' your spirit problem.... Dis Maelstrom thing you keep talking 'bout.
*BU*: Maelstrom ISN'T a spirit! He's a wrestler! He's been stalking me to get the Tri-State Championship!
*SHANGO*: You mean... you're a wrestler, too?!
*BU*: YES!!!! DON'T YOU GUYS WATCH TV?!!
*LAVUE*: Not since Shango forgot to pay the cable bill.... three years ago!
*SHANGO*: (to LaVue) You just HAVE to keep bringing that up, don't you?
*BU*: (sighs) Look! Let me just sum it up for you like this! I'm Billy "The Virgin" Ubermark.... one of the greatest Tri-State Champions of all time! I've got two guys, now, who want my belt.... even though neither of them really deserves it....
(Shango interrupts Billy for a moment.)
*SHANGO*: Hold on! Your gimmick is that you're a virgin?
*BU*: Well,... sort of.
*SHANGO*: Sort of? You're not REALLY a virgin, are you?
*BU*: (embarassed) That.... That's kind of beside the point, isn't it?
*SHANGO*: You are, aren't you!
*BU*: Yes... but...
*SHANGO*: Hey, LaVue! Get a load of this!
*BU*: (furious) CAN YOU HOLD OFF ON MAKING FUN OF ME BECAUSE OF A VIRGIN FOR JUST ONE MINUTE, AND TRY AND HELP ME WITH MY PROBLEM?!
*SHANGO*: .... ok.
*BU*: I've got two guys breathing down my neck, trying to take my Tri-State Championship from me! Is there ANYTHING, you two swindlers can do to help me?!
*SHANGO*: As a matter of fact, there is.
*BU*: I figured you wouldn't! I should've known th.... Wait. Did you say that there IS something you can do?
*SHANGO*: You better believe it. I remember some stuff from my WWF days. Its in my closet. Let me go get it.
*BU*: WAIT A MINUTE, NOW! I'm not paying another $500 for some stupid potion or any of that crap, again!
*SHANGO*: Oh... this isn't a potion. Heck, it isn't even magic. But I promise you, it'll WORK just like magic.
(Shango gives Billy a wicked smile.)
*BU*: Really? Well, bring it on out.
*SHANGO*: Will do. And since you're a fellow wrestler. I won't even charge you for it.
(Billy follows Shango into the shack. LaVue goes back to cooking the chickens, as the sound of Shango rummaging through his closet can be heard. The scene fades to black.)
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Post by viscera on Aug 23, 2005 14:09:02 GMT -5
Paul is walking by the Royal Pain in the Ass Rumble sign up and looks over. He raises an eyebrow and walks up to it, looking it over.
Paul: Hmmm... Mercenary...Mia...Principal Pai... wait a minute...
Paul grabs the nearest writing item and signs his name on the bottom of sheet.
" Pain... Canceler, at the pain in the Ass Rumble, you will be APPAULED!!!
Fade to commercial
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Post by Poker Joker on Aug 23, 2005 14:21:46 GMT -5
(The scene opens in the E.W.T. arena. Billy "The Virgin" Ubermark is standing in front of ToomiBischoff's office door, looking at the open contract for the Royal Pain in the Ass Rumble. Though he has cleaned up some, bruises can still be seen on Billy's face from his recent run-ins with Merc and Maelstrom. Over his left shoulder is the Tri-State Championship belt. In his right hand, Billy is carrying a large duffle bag. While Billy is standing there, Josh Mathews walks up to him, looking for an interview.)
*MATHEWS*: I'm Josh Mathews with Tri-State Champion Billy Ubermark. First of all, Billy, I see you're looking at the contract for the Pain in the Ass Rumble. Are you thinking about signing up?
*BU*: I'm one step ahead of you, Josh. I've already signed up! You see, even though I'm already the Tri-State Champion, I still have people who look down on me because I'm a VIRGIN! Take Merc, for instance! Even though he's never accomplished anything in this fed before now, he's started gunning for me because he thinks that I'm going to be some kind of push-over. When you even have chronic losers like Merc chasing you, that says something. And to me, its says that its painfully OBVIOUS that people still don't respect me, because of my virginity!
(Billy then points to the contract.)
*BU*: But this, Josh.... this states the winner of the Royal Pain in the Ass Rumble gets a chance to become the next E.W.T. Heavyweight Champion... and what better way for me to finally break free of this constant Virgin Discrimination that I endure than to win the rumble and capture the biggest title of them all! THEN maybe I'll get some respect around here!
*MATHEWS*: Well, Billy, I have just one more thing to ask you.... What's in the bag?
*BU*: Oh, just my gear, and a couple of my favorite magazines. I got that new issue of "Latino Naughty Hotties" that you've gotta check out.
*MATHEWS*: (shudders) Uh... that's ok. I think I'll pass.
*MATHEWS*: Suit yourself. I've ALSO got something in here for Maelstrom.
*MATHEWS*: Really? Is this something else from Papa Shango's shack?
*BU*: Yep! But this time, what he gave me is going to work... PERFECTLY!
*MATHEWS*: Really? What did he give you this time? Some "Eye of Newt" and "Snake Oil" to mix together?
(Mathews starts laughing, but Billy gives him a dirty look.)
*BU*: Nope. Something much better than that. And believe me.... once Maelstrom gets a taste of what I've got in this bag, he'll think TWICE about stalking me, again.
(Josh Mathews stops laughing, and continues on with the interview.)
*MATHEWS*: Well.... um.... what about Merc, since he's also hot on your tail?
*BU*: Merc? ... Well, what I've got in here isn't JUST meant for Maelstrom. So after I give fish-face his taste of this.... I'll give old Mr. Top-Contender a sample of his own. TRUST ME.... there'll be plenty to go around.
(With that, Billy walks off, leaving Josh by the Commissioner's office. The scene fades to black.)
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