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Post by #Classic Hi-Definition X on Dec 15, 2005 21:19:19 GMT -5
*Cut back to ringside. "Sexy Guy" hits as HBH and Rosa head out to the ring for The Heartbreak Hotel*
HBH: Ladies and gentlemen, it's time once again for The Heartbreak Hotel!
*Pyro goes off*
HBH: Now, you people are probably thinking to yourselves, "But Bret, didn't you just do a Heartbreak Hotel a few days ago?" Why yes, yes I did. But you see, The Heartbreak Hotel was in such demand this week that I simply couldn't turn people away. So I've decided to do not one, but TWO shows this week. And I did it for each and every one of you to show that I really do care about you.
*Crowd doesn't buy that and boos*
HBH: Now, allow me to introduce to you our guest for the show. He's been fuming in the back about not being able to participate in Iraq for Season's Beatings. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome EN Bunk!
*EN Bunk walks down to the ring as the fans boo him*
HBH: It's a pleasure having you on The Heartbreak Hotel. Now, we all know you're angry because you're not on the card for the PPV.
Bunk: You damn right I'm angry! I've been working my ass off to make a name for myself, and I still get pushed over like yesterday's meatloaf.
HBH: OK, so why don't you tell us why you think you should be a part of the PPV?
Bunk: Why? Because I'm one of the best damn wrestlers in this whole freakin' company! I can do things in this ring that nobody else can do. All Toom E. has to do is add my name to the card, but no, somehow he can never find the time to put me on there. What's wrong Toom E? No, don't answer that. I'll tell you what's wrong. You obviously don't know talent when it's right in your face, otherwise I'd have a match on the PPV by now. Toom E, I want you to listen, and I want you to listen good. I deserve to be on the show. Having me be a part of this PPV will increase the quality of the show, and therefore bring you good fortunes. Once people see me, they'll forget about everything for the rest of the night. I'll eclipse everyone as the star of the show. And that's the WHOLE DAMN TRUTH!
*Crowd boos, but they then start cheering when Bolt Bacana comes out*
BB: Whoa, whoa, whoa, did I hear you right? Did you just say that you DESERVED to be on the PPV? Let me ask you something. What in the blue hell have you done to earn a spot there? All I've seen from you is nothing but trash talking. You keep talking about how you're better than everyone here. You can talk the talk, but to make it here, you also have to walk the walk. So why don't you PROVE to Toom E. and all these fans why you deserve to be on the PPV card?
*Crowd cheers*
Bunk: You know what? You're right. In fact, I think I'll prove myself right now.
*EN Bunk gets in a cheap shot on Bolt Bacana. Bolt Bacana fights back. HBH and Rosa get out of the ring. Bunk and Bolt land punches back and forth, but Bolt quickly gets the upper hand. Bolt hits an inverted atomic drop, then takes Bunk down with a clothesline. Next he hits a Bolt From the Blue, putting Bunk through a table! The crowd roars with cheers. Bolt celebrates in the ring. He then high fives a few fans at ringside before heading to the back*
*Fade to commercial*
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Dec 15, 2005 23:26:12 GMT -5
"Maritime" plays, the lights go down, out comes Oceanic to a nice, big, pop. She casually walks to the ring, slapping hands with some of the fans. She gets into the ring and faces the entry way awaiting her opponent.
”If You Close Your Eyes” plays, and Linda comes out to an equally huge pop. Linda looks around at the crowd, and gives them the Captain Charisma Kiss. She runs down the ramp and slides into the ring, and while she’s still on her knees, throws up the horns ala Lita. She gets off her knees, and the ref makes sure that both women are ready to begin.
The bell rings and the two face off. They lock up and Linda pushes Oceanic back against the turnbuckles. The ref asks for a clean break and gets it. They lock up again but this time Oceanic backs Linda to the turnbuckles. They break clean again and circle one another. They look about to lock up again but they stop when they notice that the crowd is now chanting, half for Linda and half for Oceanic. Linda goes to a turnbuckle and steps up getting a pop from her fans. Oceanic goes to the opposite turnbuckle and gets a pop from hers. It's hard to tell who's getting a bigger ovation. The both step down off the buckles and tie up again.
Linda grabs one of Oceanic’s arms, twists it, goes behind, and elbows her shoulder. Oceanic grabs onto her shoulder, and Linda grabs her from behind and goes for a German Suplex release, but Oceanic flips behind and hits a German Suplex release of her own. Oceanic grabs Linda’s legs and puts her into a Figure Four Leglock. Linda is struggling to get out of the hold, but Oceanic is struggling herself to keep Linda away from the ropes. Despite her best efforts, Linda crawls over to the nearest ropes, and grabs them. The ref counts to two before Oceanic releases the Figure Four. Linda grabs the ropes to help herself up, while Oceanic is waiting for her. Linda turns around, and Oceanic kicks Linda in the gut and goes for a vertical suplex, but Linda slides out and goes behind Oceanic and picks her up and hits a Protobomb on Oceanic and goes for a pin.
1............ 2............
Oceanic kicks out of the pin. Linda drops a few elbows on Oceanic, and picks her up and whips her into the corner. She sets Oceanic onto the top turnbuckle and connects a hurracanrana into a pin.
1............ 2............
Another kickout by Oceanic. Linda picks Oceanic up and sends her into the ropes and connects with a spinning back elbow, then hits the ropes herself and comes down with a knee drop. Linda stands up and waits for Oceanic to stand up. Oceanic is on her feet and Linda lunges with a diving clothesline but Oceanic ducks sending Linda crashing down to her knees. Linda gets back up quickly but it's too late, Oceanic has hit the ropes and blasts her in the chest with a Busaiku Knee Kick that sends Linda flying through the ropes and to the outside. Oceanic goes to the ring apron to the right side and backs up. Linda staggers to her feet and Oceanic runs the length of the apron, jumps, grabs the ring post, swings over and wraps her legs around Linda's head sending her to the concrete with a big hurricanrana. Oceanic is feeling it a little bit but she's the first up to her feet and gets a big pop from the crowd.
Oceanic throws Linda back into the ring and gives her a back suplex and tries for a pin.
1............ 2............
Linda kicks out. Oceanic jumps to the second rope and connects with a Lionsault, then bounces back up and follows with a double leg drop to the stomach. She tries for the pin again.
1.............. 2...............
Linda kicks out. Oceanic gets up and waits over by the turnbuckles for Linda to stand up. Linda slowly gets up and turns around just in time to get a huge super kick that flings her head back violently. The crowd lets out a big "Ooooooooh!" as Oceanic covers again, hooking the leg.
1.............. 2...............
2 1/2! Somehow Linda got the shoulder up. Oceanic can't believe it. She picks Linda up and sets her up for a power bomb, but just as she’s about to go down, Linda reverses the attempted power bomb into a hurracanrana pin.
1............ 2............
Oceanic kicks out. Linda brushes her hair out of her face and picks Oceanic up of the canvas. Linda knees Oceanic’s gut a few times, and lifts Oceanic up for a vertical suplex, which turns into the Orange Crush Bomb. Linda goes for the pin again.
1............ 2............
Oceanic kicks out yet again. Linda kicks Oceanic in the ribs a few times, and climbs to the top turnbuckle, and hits an elbow drop onto Oceanic. Knowing this wasn’t the end yet, Linda quickly gets up, runs to the ropes, and bounces off the second rope and hits a Lionsault. Linda stays down on top of Oceanic to pin again.
1............ 2............
Oceanic still kicks out. Linda picks her up again, and sends Oceanic into the ropes and leap frogs on the rebound. Linda sets up for a back body drop but Oceanic leap frogs over her. She bounces off the ropes with crazy momentum and levels Linda with a King Kong Lariat. Both women are down and the referee begins his count. He gets to five and Linda begins to stir. At eight Linda is up and staggers over to Oceanic. She goes to pick her up but suddenly Oceanic reaches up and tries for a small package.
1.......... 2..........
Linda kicks out, and the two women stand back up. Linda tries to charge but Oceanic side steps and Linda lands face first on the mat. Like a cat Oceanic is on her and applies a full nelson/camel clutch combo. Oceanic leans back and Linda is in trouble. One half of the fans are screaming "Tap!" while the other half are shouting encouragement to Linda to break it....
Eventually, Linda’s arms grab onto Oceanic’s legs, and slowly she gets onto her knees, as Oceanic still has the clutch still locked in. Linda slowly gets onto her legs, the clutch still locked in. Linda struggles around the ring while Oceanic is still on her back. She finally positions herself right, and runs backwards into a corner, squashing Oceanic in the process. The clutch still locked in, Linda goes to another turnbuckle and squashes Oceanic again, the clutch losing it’s grip slightly. Linda goes to another turnbuckle and squashed Oceanic again, the clutch being looser than it was before. One more backup into a turnbuckle, and Oceanic finally lets go, falling to the ground. Linda has also lost some air from the move being on for so long, that she falls to her knees, trying to regain her breath. The ref starts for the ten count, and Oceanic gets up at four, Linda getting up at five. The two women start to trade punches with one another, until Linda finally whips Oceanic into a corner. Linda charges at Oceanic, but she moves out of the corner, and Linda hits the turnbuckles, bouncing off of them.
Oceanic throws a flurry of knees and elbow at Linda, finally knocking her down with a Roaring Elbow. She picks up Linda's leg and drags her where she wants her. Oceanic climbs to the top turnbuckle and stands up. She leaps off with the Superfly Splash but Linda moves out of the way. Oceanic crashes hard into the mat and is sucking wind while Linda tries to get her senses back. Both women stand up, very wobbly, but Linda is first on the attack and hits a vertical suplex. Linda goes to the top turnbuckle and leaps off with the Down Pour and it connects. She hooks the leg.
1....... 2............
3!
Linda has won the match!
Linda climbs onto the top turnbuckle on one of the posts and raises her arms in celebration. Oceanic crawls to the ropes to help get her up, and watches as Linda celebrates her victory. She asks Tony Chimel for a mic, and as Linda gets off the turnbuckles, Oceanic speaks.
OCEANIC: Linda…the last few months, you and I haven’t really been the best of friends. Not since you went against me and took the title from that bag of wind Hillary Clitton.
The crowd boos at the mention of Clitton’s name.
OCEANIC: After Rebirth, I saw you revert back to your old self, but I wasn’t sure if I should trust you entirely yet. But now, after this match, I can clearly say…it’s good to have you back.
The crowd cheers as Linda looks at her with a smile.
OCEANIC: And Linda, when Season’s Beatings comes by, and something happens where Chrysta does tell your secret…I have your back.
The crowd stands up and applauds the two as they hug in the center of the ring, and they both raise their arms up while “If You Close Your Eyes” plays. After a few seconds of celebration, the two women wrestlers head out of the ring and into the back. As the two are about to head to behind the curtain, the crowd stays standing, and they shout out to Linda and Oceanic-
“THAT WAS AWESOME!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAP CLAP!* “THAT WAS AWESOME!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAP CLAP!* “THAT WAS AWESOME!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAP CLAP!* “THAT WAS AWESOME!” *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAP CLAP!*
FADE OUT
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Post by Ultimo Chocula on Dec 16, 2005 2:51:28 GMT -5
(Commercial for pancake yarmulkes.)
(We come back and we're at the supermarket. The camera zooms up to the announcement booth and there's Ultimo at the controls.)
UC: "Attention Safeway shoppers. We're having a two for one sale on red ass beat downs in the produce section. Be sure to head over there for some savings. That's two for one on red ass beat downs. Have a nice day and thank you for shopping at Safeway."
(UC comes out of the booth, Toolshed title over his shoulder, and starts heading over to produce while talking to the camera for a big dumb monologue.)
UC: "So you clowns don't want to give up the love to Ultimo eh? You guys think I'm a wash out? Let me ask you this. Would a wash out be taking on two hardcore legends at the supermarket? Of course not, jerks! Only a friggin' superstar of the utmost magnitude would attempt such a stunt. Pow? That wet brain can barely get out of bed in the morning much less go on one three, or whatever, at the local grocery store. Pow thinks he's the best Toolshed champ ever, but he's as wrong as Ripple for breakfast. I'm the best champ ever. Why else would I be made the first OFFICIAL, key word there people, OFFICIAL Toolshed champion? This Sunday at Season's Beatings, I will once again prove why I'm awesome, and once again I will beat Pow moronic. Then I'm going back home still the champion and celebrating with a key lime Stewart's while Pow will be stuck in traction getting stewed off 99 cent Ripple while listening to his turds work their way through his lower intestines!"
(UC shows up in the produce section where Tommy Dreamer and Sandman are waiting, each with a Singapore cane. A bell rings somewhere and we're off. Dreamer and Sandman both go off on UC with the canes, whacking him repeatedly. Then they both turn on each other and start exchanging cane shots. Dreamer gets off a nice shot right across Sandman's face and he goes down. Dreamer picks Sandman up and throws him into the cauliflower. Sandman doesn't like cauliflower. Dreamer runs and drops the elbow on him then starts punching away on his head. Sandman struggles up and throws a few punches of his own. He picks Dreamer up and body slams him into the cabbage. Dreamer gets back up and he begins to brawl with Sandman. They go for a while and neither one is getting the upperhand. Suddenly they hear a whistle and stop fighting. That's when UC belts both men in the face with an egg plant.
UC grabs Sandman and bashes his head into the fruit roll up display. Dreamer staggers up but gets a super kick than sends him back down. UC grabs some produce and counts off as he bashes Dreamer over the head.)
UC: "One coconut!"
WHAM!
UC: "Two coconut!"
WHAM!
UC: "Three coconut!"
WHAM!
UC: "Ah! Ah! Ah!"
(Dreamer looks like a Mounds bar and he's laid out on the floor. Sandman jumps up and ax handles UC in the back. He gets UC in a sleeper hold and locks it in, but UC grabs that little spritzer gun and sprays Sandman in the face, breaking the hold. UC charges and spin heel kicks Sandman in the mush. Then he places Sandman on a shopping cart and pushes it down the aisle, crashing into the fish display. Dreamer begins to stand up but he's taken out with a Sugar Fix on the linoleum floor. UC kicks one of the nearby fruit displays causing an avalanche of oranges to fall on Dreamer, pelting him over and over. UC leaps off the display and lands a Knee-sault across Dreamer's chest. UC covers and gets a three count.)
Voice over PA: "Here is your winner................Ultimo Chocula! Get your self a box now! Forty cents off with a coupon!"
(UC raises his arm in victory and takes the Toolshed belt from the ref. He's starts to walk away but notices his reflection in the mirror behind the onion display.)
UC: "Mmmm.......she does have a point."
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,412
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Dec 16, 2005 14:05:41 GMT -5
Cut to EN Bunk in a disclosed location
ENB: Bolt, Bolt, Bolt. I tried to help you. Tried to show you the way. But you wouldn't let me. YOU WOULDN'T LET ME!
So now, I guess I'll have to beat you within an inch of your life to make you see what a mistake you made. The only regret I have is that Jessica is caught between us. Oh, that's right. You don't know, do you? She never told you, did she? Well, why don't you ask your "darling wife" what happened 10 years ago? I'm sure she won't tell you, but you can try. Only Jessica and I know Bolt.
Only Jessica and I know....
*Cut to commercial for EWT Merchandise*
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B.A.
Grimlock
Posts: 13,335
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Post by B.A. on Dec 16, 2005 17:52:04 GMT -5
Lights go down to purple.....
The crowd begins to scream......
Lillian: It is with my pleasure to introduce, returning from injury
EDDIE OOOOMEGGGAAAA!!!
Eddie walks out on to the stage with a serious look and his trademark glasses. On his forearm is a cast from the brutal match he wrestled with Spaz.
Eddie walks down to the ring with his Omega Psi Phi shirt, and looks around to the crowd. Theres a mixed reaction but it doesnt faze Eddie. He walks slowly down to the ring and looks at his arm. While walking in the ring he goes over to Lillian and takes the mic. The crowd hushes.
Let me first tell you....
Crowd: Eddie.......Eddie.....Eddie
"Let me be..the first to tell you.....Eddie Omega is back"
Crowd cheers
"Do you think, that a broken arm is going to stop me?? From going out their and kicking someones ass???
Crowd cheers again
"I have a few things to address..starting with you spaz..
You as I hate to admit it, finally defeated me,...by breaking my arm. You son of a B**** , you think breaking my arm is gonna stop me??? Youre lucky youre not out here or I would break you...!!!
Crowd: boooooo
*looks over shoulder to crowd and turns around.
"Shut up!!!! I come off of having perhaps THE successful full debut of an EWT wrestler, I have the slammy award to prove it!!!
*points to camera* You cant take that away from me, like you took...or cheated....and stole I should say Spaz!!!!
Crowd: Spaz!!! Spaz!!! Spaz!!! Spaz!!!!
"But this arm you see here, *eddie holds up his arm to the camera* Isnt going to take time to heal. Im gonna wrestle with this, until the point where i have to have it ampitated. I have no time, being Eddie Omega means youre at the top of the class...
Now..on to my next point. The Ox division championship. You see Spaz, one day soon, Im gonna kill you...But its not gonna be for the Ox division championship. Its just going to be outright, death. I wont end your career, yet... But you see as much as you gave me a challenge, im gonna give you a warning....
Run...Dont let me see you backstage, or you might be in one of these.. *holds up arm again*
as in your whole body. Yea...
Crowd: Booooooooooooooooo
So i see the ratings I get again, people are doubting me huh? Let this be known, as of now, Eddie has no friends, eddie needs no friends as long as he is satisfied. If you dont like eddie, then any superstar that is backstage...ANYONE, I dare them to come out here.
Lets get this straight, the Ox title was only the tip of the iceberg. Sooner or later, I want better things. More gold, is going to come my way, and make no mistake, I dont care who you are, you step in my way, and you will leave on a stretcher. New things are coming, big things are coming soon..and youre all going to be taught....a valuable lesson...
*eddie smiles in the ring*
King: What does that mean?? What does he mean a valuable lesson???
Eddie leaves the ring, and heads backstage
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therob
Hank Scorpio
Mcginley to Slim's O'neil
Posts: 7,257
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Post by therob on Dec 16, 2005 21:56:25 GMT -5
*There is a steady shot of the arena as a sweet new DeLorean pulls up. the doors open and out steps the greatest super star to ever walk the earth." The Rock and Roll Super Star" The Rob.
Interview man- Sir Sir may i ask what you are doing here.
The Rob- What in the hell do you mean what am i doing here?
Interview man- Well (gets the taste slapped out of his mouth)
The Rob- Get out of here (takes the micrphone) Its plain and simple The Rob is here to take over this two bit fed and turn into a company that can turn a profit. For those who may not know The Rob is "The Rock and Roll Superstar" The true talent in all of wrestling. The Rob is here to B*% slap, pimp slap, and C*#$ slap this place into shape. Thats all that needs to be said.
*The Rob reaches into his Delorean and pulls out two women (they look like 2 doller street walkers) then he walks into the arena.
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Post by Joel, Mike, Currently...? on Dec 16, 2005 22:18:22 GMT -5
It's all about the pentiums, baby...
And down come our Nyrdy friends to a big ol' pop. Joel does a goofy skip on the way down, as Mike dances his way down the ramp, Ron Killings style. Both slide into the ring, and Joel gets down on one knee in the middle of the ring, and throws up the Nyrd sign, as Mike Windmills behind him the whole time. As Mike stops dancing to throw up the Nyrd sign like Joel, "Fade" by Linkin Park hits. Joe Ragnal walks out to an equally big pop, and is soon followed by Mike and Linda Ragnal. Mike (Hodgson) is rubbing Joel's shoulders, as Joel bounces around in the ring, anxious to get going with Joe. Mike gets to the outside, and Joe slides in, as Mike Ragnal and Linda wait on the outside.
Joe and Joel share a handshake, and circle eachother in the ring. The bell rings, and they tie up. Joel traps Joe in a side head lock, and sends him to the ropes. Joel bends over, going for a back body drop, but Joe backrolls over him, and jumps to hit a dropkick to Joel's back. Joel stumbles to the ropes, bounces off, and backs into a German Suplex pin. Joel kicks out at two. Joe helps Joel up, and offers a handshake, and Joel refuses, to a few light boos. Joe shrugs, and hits the ropes. Joel ducks a leg lariat attempt, and when Joe lands, Joel jumps over a leg sweep attempt. Joel heads to the ropes, comes back, slides under Joe's legs, and hits a Dragon Suplex from behind. Joe kicks out at two. Joel helps Joe up, and offers his own handshake, which Joe refuses.
Joel whips Joe to the ropes, and Joel heads to the other ropes, and they bounce off at the same time, criss cross from eachother, and do the Muta/Tajiri handspring rope trick, bounce off, and hit simultaneous back elbows on eachother. Both spring to their feet, and Joe gets the first hit in, hitting an armdrag, and wrenches Joel arm. Joel rolls backwards out of the wrench, landing on his knees, gets to his feet, and jumps towards Joe with a clothesline. Joe ducks it, slips behind Joel, and hits another German Suplex. However, Joel uses his momentum to push off of Joe, lands on his feet, and runs at Joe. Joe hits an armdrag on Joel, who immediately springs to his feet. Joe runs at Joel, and gets an armdrag for his trouble. Joe springs to his feet, and dropkicks Joel. Joel gets back up, and dropkicks Joe. Joe gets back up to his feet, and Joel and he hit spinning heel kicks at the exact same time, knocking eachother down. Joe and Joel handspring to their feet, and look at eachother. This time, they shake hands, to loud applause from the crowd, as Mike, Mike and Linda clap on from the outside.
Joel and Joe tie up again, and Joe hits a snap suplex. Joe heads to the ropes and hits a split legged Lionsault, missing Joel by an inch as he slips out. Joel lands a leg drop to the back of Joe's head. Joel drags Joe to the ropes, climbs to the top, and does a rolling motion with his hands, ending in the Nyrd sign. Joel hits a wonderful 450, just as Joe slides out of the way. Joel rolls out of the 450, Aries style, and runs back at Joe. Joe, acting quickly, lifts up Joel, and BRAINBUSTERS HIM ONTO THE TOP TURNBUCKLE! Joel doesn't quite know where he is at this moment. Joe lifts Joel up to the top turnbuckle, and seats him up top. Joe does a quick run around the ring, and hops up to hurricana Joel off the top. As Joe goes upside down, he realizes he isn't moving anymore. Joel is holding onto Joe's legs. Joel steps over Joe's arms, and gets him in Bravestarr Clash position, preparing to hit it off the second rope.
Joel JUMPS...but he doesn't go air-borne. It seems Joe has taken a firm graps on the ropes with his hands. Since he isn't going anywhere, Joel lets go of Joe's legs, and lets Joe down onto his feet. Joe stumbles away a bit, and Joel gets up to the top rope. Joel launches himself into the air, and tries for a Flying DDT, but Joe catches Joel in mid-air, and hits a UNARAGE! Joel sits up, gives a goofy look, and falls back down. Joe runs to the nearest corner, and hops up to the top. Joe points to the crowd, and hits the CLOUDBREAKER! Joe covers Joel, and gains one, two, three! Joe Ragnal has scored a victory over this Nyrd. Mike Hodgson slides in, and Mike and Linda Ragnal do so as well. Mike H helps up Joel, and Joe, a little woozy, requires assistance from his siblings as well.
Joe and Joel stare at eachother. They then shake hands, and do a quick bro hug. Mike and Mike shake hands as well, as Linda hugs her siblings, and even gives Joel and Mike a quick hug as well, as all five in the ring raise hands, to thunderous crowd applause.
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Post by Joel, Mike, Currently...? on Dec 16, 2005 22:22:49 GMT -5
Mike helps Joel through the back, and a bespectacled (female) EMT begins to check Joel out.
Joel: Oh man...
Mike: Did you see all that s*** he did, Joel? Joe can do some pretty crazy s***, man!
Joel: I know it. That's why I think we're going to have a lot of fun on Sunday, Mike.
Mike: Eh?
Joel: Ragnals, if you get this message, let it be known that the son of Nelson has nothing but respect for you.
Mike: Uh, I respect you guys too.
Joel: And I greatly look forward to this Sunday.
Mike: Me too, we're having a GoldenEye party on Sunday.
Joel: Yes, but besides that...Joe, Mike...
Mike: What?
Joel: The other Mike. Guys...as super cool as we think you are, that's not going to stop us from taking your tag-titles.
Mike: ...Can I say it now?
Joel: Sure, go ahead.
Mike: BOO-YA! Nyrd life, bay-bee!
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Post by girlnextdoor on Dec 16, 2005 22:41:56 GMT -5
Announcer: This next contest is scheduled for one fall & is a girly match. Making her way to the ring first is the girl they call Mystery.
*Mystery makes her way into the ring, where she grabs the announcer.*
You're new around here. That's good. New is good. But respect...respect is better of the women. Do you know who I am? I am Mystery. I am a superstar in EWT. I was part of the Scammy Award winning Submission Match.
But you, you are like HER. Sally. Sally did not respect me. Sally mocked me...just as you are mocking me.
I DO NO LIKE TO BE MOCKED!!! I DO NOT LIKE TO BE MOCK!!!
Hush little baby don't say a word Papa's gonna buy you a mocking bird And if that mocking bird don't sing Papa's gonna buy you a diamond ring And if that diamond ring gets broke Papa's gonna buy you a billy goat And if that billy goat don't pull Papa's gonna buy you a cart and bull And if that cart and bull turn over Papa's gonna buy you a dog named Rover And if that dog named Rover won't bark Papa's gonna buy you a horse and cart And if that horse and cart fall down You'll still be the sweetest baby in town
*Mystery then kicks the ring announcer & nails a double arm DDT on him, as Bull Nakano storms the ring. Mystery grabs the ring announcer & throws him into Bull as she enters the ring. Mystery picks up Bull & throws her into the ropes, but runs at her as well. When Bull hits the ropes, Mystery goes over the top rope with a clothesline & Bull. Mystery gets to her feet & lifts up Bull, throwing her back into the ring. Mystery climbs the top rope, where she leaps off with an elbow drop. Mystery then grabs Bull & ets her up, hitting a mandible claw on Bull. The referee calls for the bell, as Mystery releases the hold & grabs Bull, singing to her now:*
Hush little baby don't say a word Papa's gonna buy you a mocking bird And if that mocking bird don't sing Papa's gonna buy you a diamond ring And if that diamond ring gets broke Papa's gonna buy you a billy goat And if that billy goat don't pull Papa's gonna buy you a cart and bull And if that cart and bull turn over Papa's gonna buy you a dog named Rover And if that dog named Rover won't bark Papa's gonna buy you a horse and cart And if that horse and cart fall down You'll still be the sweetest baby in town
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Post by Chrysta on Dec 17, 2005 12:03:42 GMT -5
*Chrysta and Ms. White are just getting off the plane for Iraq, and are looking around.*
Chrysta: So...this is Iraq.
White: Whoo, kinda warm, isn't it, sweetie?
Chrysta: Not by much, Ms. White. But once I am through with Dear Linda...Iraq is going to feel...MUCH chillier...for this is where Dear Linda's secret shall be revealed, once and for all.
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Dec 17, 2005 12:24:57 GMT -5
*A piano version of Carol of the Bells is playing as footage of last year's Iraq trip plays.* ANNOUNCER: Last year was the start of a tradition. TOOMI: We will be sending our Superstars over to Iraq to perform for the troops stationed there. ANNOUNCER: And it went well. *THe Transiberian Orchestra version of CotB plays as last year's matches play out.* ANNOUNCER: Now, we're doing it again. And this time, it will be a PPV to remember. *Previews of this year's matches plays.* RAGNALS vs. NYRDS EWT TAG TEAM TITLES MIKE H: BOO-YA! MIKE R: And THAT'S the Shocking Truth! MYSTERY vs. DIVA-DORF DD: Please...GO AWAY! CHOCULA vs. PODANSKI IRONMAN MATCH EWT TOOLSHED TITLE PODANSKI: I MADE THAT BELT! I SHOULD BE THE FIRST OFFICIAL CHAMPION OF THAT BELT! FAREWELL MATCH DAVE DAVIES vs. MERCENARY DAVE: One...More...MATCH! MAELSTROM vs. CONFIDENCE EWT TRI-STATE TITLE HELL IN A CELL CONFIDENCE: We'll just see who gives who hell, Maelstrom, when I prove it was worth taking your title! LINDA RAGNAL vs. CHRYSTA TRUTH OR DARE MATCH LINDA: If you win, go ahead! TELL the world. I win, you LEAVE! SPAZ vs. FLEX LORD MOUNT EVANS RULES MATCH OX DIVISION TITLE SPAZ: You and your no moves aren't worth losing to, Flex! Not by a longshot! DORF vs. DAVE ADAMS IRAQI STREET FIGHT DORF: Adams, I'll show you what happens when you keep me from my matches! I'LL SHOW YOU! TABLE FINISHER MATCH GASOLINE vs. HBH HBH: Gas, get ready for SWEET CHIN MUZAK through those tables! CARLA vs. ROSA LADDER MATCH EWT GIRL NEXT DOOR TITLE CARLA: Rosa, time to see just how well you are at fighting, you skank! LIMEY vs. MOXIE VACATED EWT TITLE MATCH LIMEY: Moxie, prepare for LIFE...TO GIVE...YOU...LIMES!
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Post by crauswell on Dec 17, 2005 15:11:03 GMT -5
Suddenly a vinigette shows up... showing some guy dressed up in a dragon furry suit. His face, body, and pretty much all other features are hidden. He looks around.
Dragon Suit Guy: For years... wrestling has had a place for many people. Virgins... Homosexuals... midgets... and Even hermaphodites... like that chick Nicole Bass. But you fans have always neglected one group... the Furries!
Shows a video of the Gobbeldy Gooker.
Dragon Guy: This guy... Hector Guerrero was a pretty good wrestler... but you all booed him out of the building... because he looked like a FURRY!
Shows another video of C.P. Munk
Dragon Guy: And you also had this squirrel guy... who wasn't too bad, but again you thought he sucked... because he looked like a FURRY!!!
Shows yet another video, showing Mantaur's entrance.
Dragon Guy: And let's not forget this guy... Mantaur... oh sure you didn't mind him when he wrestled... but when he had that bull shaped mask over his head... you hated it... BECAUSE HE LOOKED LIKE A DAMN FURRY!!!
The guy looks at the crowd through his eyeholes.
Dragon Guy: Well I'M SICK OF IT!!! You EWT Fans are going to learn some respect for furries. Or I'm going to make YOU RESPECT US MYSELF!!!
The dragon suited guy crosses his throat.
Dragon Guy: So EWT... prepare... for Crauswell!!!
Thec troops look absolutely baffled as text appears on the screen.
Crauswell is Coming. 1/1/06
The screen quickly shuts off.
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Dec 17, 2005 16:03:16 GMT -5
*The Ragnals are inside one of the IRaq HQs, watching the vignette of Crauswell. Mike grabs a remot and turns the tape off.*
MIKE: Well, that was interesting.
JOE: Yeah, an animal gimmick. That'll put butts-
*Linda slaps Joe's mouth shut.*
JOE: Ow!
MIKE: Yanno, I gotta say, Iraq is an okay place.
JOE: Yeah, not too bad. Lots of sunshine, little grass, no signs of a McDonald's...
MIKE: Oh yeah. Well, anyway, let's go.
*Fade out*
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Post by rnt on Dec 17, 2005 16:35:52 GMT -5
Raskall and Trunk (w/Kristina Harvey) step out of the plane, and are immediately blinded by the bright sun.
Raskall: Aw geez! Why didn't anybody tell me the sun would be out in Iraq?
Trunk: Hey, at least we're off the plane.
Raskall: Tell me about it. Six hours crammed into a tiny seat. No elbow room. They even stuffed me in the middle seat. And whose brigth idea was it to stick us next to Sum Guy?
Sum Guy stumbles out of the door, also shielding his eyes.
Sum Guy: I'm Sum Guy and I only brought one change of clothes. Raskall and Trunk, why are you guys here? You don't have a match scheduled for Season's Beatings. What's the occasion?
Raskall: Hell, I don't even know what we're doing here. Toomi said this trip was voluntary, and if we're gonna rise to the top of EWT, it would be a good idea not to get fired.
Sum Guy: Well, regardless of not having a match, I look forward to seeing you out there.
Raskall: And I'll look forward to seeng you down there.
Sum Guy: Wha?
Raskall shoves Sum Guy, who tumbles down the stairs and lands on the hot pavement, crumpled in a heap. Raskall, Trunk and Kristina all come down the stairs, stepping on Sum Guy's back as they do.
Sum Guy: ...I'm AGH! Sum Guy and OOG! I'm in a considerable amount of...AAAOOHH!! Those were heels!
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Post by paulpodanski on Dec 17, 2005 16:43:41 GMT -5
Paul stumbles off the plane after Raskall and trunk, totally smashed and almost falls out of the plane door as he stumbles around. You can hear distinct grumbling from other EWT Superstars behind him.
Podanski stumbles and staggers back and forth, somehow managing to make it down the stairs.
Paul: Hells yeah! It's great to be here in... Guatemala... or Geman Land... or Jap Nan... wherever the hell we are....
Podanski staggers and steps on top of Sum Guy as well...
Sum: YOAAAAH! Who wears cleats to Iraq?!
Paul: Yo mama!!!
Paul laughs drunkenly and stumbles... than collapses and passes out...
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Limey
Unicron
It's been awhile.
Posts: 3,062
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Post by Limey on Dec 17, 2005 16:51:40 GMT -5
*Cut to Sum Guy, in army fatigues. He is holding a microphone, and is in a backstage area.*
SG: I'm Sum Guy, and I feel a bit uncomfortable in this outfit. The EWT is here in Iraq...and it has been a very emotional time for all of our atheletes ever since they arrived. Let's take a look at five superstars that really cheered up the troops here. They're just doing their part! I mean...no-one really seems to notice me...except that old guy who keeps asking me if I have a girlfriend. He's kinda creepy...well, here's the footage.
*Cue montage. Chilled accoustic plays as Limey and Carla O Woe look out from a plane window onto the plains of Iraq.*
Limey: Here we are! Iraq! (To camera) How do I look? Presentable? I came here representing EWT, I don't want to spoil their image...
*Cut to footage of Limey and Carla O Woe getting off the plane to a good reception of troops. Montage shots of Limey and Carla O Woe shaking hands with the troops are shown. Carla has her GND Division Championship, and she gets female troopers to hold it whilst screaming ecstatically at the cameras. It shows Carla, getting interviewed.*
Carla: These guys and gals...they go out there, and they risk their lives, and it's only fair that we show them a great deal of gratitude, and what better than EWT? I've got my ladder match against Rosa, and I'll be sure to make it a great one, for these guys!
*Cut to Limey, standing in front of a large group of troops. They are all happy to be in the shot, and Limey speaks, almost overcome with emotion.*
Limey: You see these guys? This is what EWT is all about! We go out there and perform for these guys, and who is more deserving to see a kick-ass show, especially at 'holidays, than these guys? Everyone out here risks their lives for the people...for the future...and let me tell you, you don't want to mess with them!! If you do, life...
*The rest of the troops shout along with Limey.*
Limey and troops: WILL GIVE...YOU...LIMES!!!!
*The troops cheer as Limey high-fives each of them. It cuts to the hospitals. Carla hugs a soldier in traction, and gets him to hold the GND Division title. It cuts to another interview.*
Carla: Everyone here is just so glad to see us, and I mean everyone. These guys deserve nothing but the best this holiday season. Everyone's really doing their best to appeal to the troops.
*Cut to The Connection, standing dominant at a conference. Holly Vaughn and Tony Chang are standing there, arms folded, and Craig Kendo has the microphone.*
Kendo: ALL OF YOU!!! You have showed to be competant fighters...excellent workers...and your spirits are UNDENIABLY powerful, rivalling those of ours!! Henceforth...ALL OF YOU ARE HONOURARY MEMBERS OF OUR ILLUSTRIOUS CONNECTION!!!
*The troops cheer for The Connection as it shows a montage of troopers getting their photos taken with The Connection, with Tony Chang giving a voice-over throughout.*
Chang: To...to have all these guys cheer me, even though over in the states I've been...well...I've been an ass (laughs), it's...it's a great feeling.
*Cut to footage of a trooper handing Craig Kendo a wooden sculpture of the Connection Icon. Kendo smiles proudly, and nods down at the trooper in respect. It shows Holly Vaughn getting interviewed.*
Holly: We've been getting a great reception over here. I'm actually surprised at the amount of fans we've got. It's...overwhelming, I think.
*Cut to Kendo being interviewed. He is holding the wooden Connection Icon.*
Kendo: When we get home, I'm putting this on my mantlepiece. I'm truly amazed at the level of commitment these men and women have, it's like nothing I've ever seen.
*cut back to Holly Vaughn.*
Holly: I know after all this is over, EWT will have to pack up and go back to the states...I just imagine it will be hard to leave these guys, after all the support they've given us. I suppose the best we can do is just go out there, and entertain them live...in person...it's what we do best. And they love us to bits for it.
*The montage ends with Limey, smiling contently, throwing up the horns to a great response from the troops, who all throw up the horns back at him. A single tear falls down Limey's face as he walks to the HQ, never turning his back on the cheering crowd...*
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Post by rnt on Dec 17, 2005 17:26:32 GMT -5
Clip of EWT's press conference in Iraq. Raskall and Trunk are at the podium.
Raskall: Even though we've only been in EWT for a few months, we love the way that the fans -- especially you guys -- have warmed up to us. We put our bodies on the line in that ring, but that's nothing compared to what you guys do every single day over here.
Cut to footage of Raskall, Trunk, and Kristina greeting troops in hospitals and other places. Raskall's voiceover is heard during this.
Raskall: You guys put your lives on the line every single day for the good of our country. Some of you have been here for years; some of you may have only come here days ago. But every single one of you is important to the cause. We look forward to seeing all you guys back in the States.
Trunk: Every last one of you is braver than I, and for that, I commend you all. You put your lives on the line for the sake of freedom and prosperity.
Cut back to press conference.
Trunk: Some of you may have made new friends over here. Some of you may have lost friends here too. (gets a bit choked up) But I hope that you guys get to see each other again when you get home, or for those who didn't make it, you'll all see each other again in Heaven. Thank you.
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Deamon Cohln
Don Corleone
AND THAT'S THE GODDAMN TRUTH!
Posts: 1,962
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Post by Deamon Cohln on Dec 17, 2005 17:37:06 GMT -5
*Deamon is backstage waiting for his oppertunity to make his announcement to come up. He just sitting on a prop box and drinking a Pepsi.*
Sum Guy: Deamon?
Deamon: Jesus Christ how many times do I hae to beat you up in one month? Do you like getting the crap kicked out of you?
Sum Guy: N-no I just wanted to ask...
Deamon: Ask what? Who's coming for me tonight? Am I gonna have a match! AM I GONNA DO ANYTHING! IS THAT YOUR FREAKING QUESTION! *This knocks Sum Guy on his back*
Sum Guy:*He talks really fast and in a really scared tone* I just wanted to know what's going on with you tonight?
Deamon: DO YOU THINK I KNOW! I've been sent everywhere this week without anyone telling me anything. I didn't even want to come here. Hell I could get shot! Anyway, I don't know who's coming back, I don't know why, I don't know anything right now. ANd that's the only goddamn truth.
Sum Guy: ANd I'm Sum Guy, and I really should stop talking to him.
*The camera fades to clips of EWT Stars shooting some guns with the troops.*
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Post by Ultimo Chocula on Dec 17, 2005 18:01:56 GMT -5
(Ultimo is in the back seat of a taxi taking him to the EWT Meet & Greet. He's looking out the window and sees a camel walking down the desert.)
UC: "That's the ugliest dog I've ever seen in my life."
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Post by Virus aka Captain No-Nuts on Dec 17, 2005 19:55:15 GMT -5
(Virus is shown just outside HQ, surrounded by 5 or so soldiers who've become Virus marks early. He is signing autographs for all of them, smiling and generally looking pretty happy.)
Camera guy: Got anything to say, Virus?
(Virus doesn't look up from his autograph in progress.)
Virus: Yeah. First off, I'm suprised these guys even know who I am, much less like me. I figured we were a bit delayed over here in the Gulf.
Random soldier (before he can stop himself): By two months?!
(Virus blinks, no doubt stunned at this glaring flaw in his logic.)
Virus: Good point. *clears throat* Anyway, no matter who knows me or not, this one thing is clear. Whoever gets in the way of these fine fighting men and women over here had better prepare... to be...
(Virus pauses to look around at the other soldiers, who nod. Virus takes a deep breath, and everyone yells out...)
All: INFECTED!
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