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Post by SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman on Dec 4, 2007 16:24:30 GMT -5
*The camera cuts into an office covered with felt. There is a very nice wooden desk with a paper in the middle of it and pens in a box, though one of them is next to the paper. An EWT official is sitting behind the desk and Terina is standing in front of it, her arms crossed, looking like she’ s losing patience.*
Terina : What time is it ?
Ofiicial : 20 seconds later than the last time you asked.
Terina : Damn ! The bitch could at least have the decency not to make me waste my time. That’ s insulting ! Having to wait for… this. I can’ t consider her a woman, or even a human being for that matter.
*As she ends this speech, the door opens and « Sexually Suggestive » Ivy Rosepine appears on screen.
Terina : Not a minute too soon ! What took you so long ? Were you busy pumping some oil for extra money ?
Ivy : You know, Terinass, unlike you, I have principles, like being faithful to my man. And what are you in such a hurry for ? It’ s not like you have anyone dear to you who you might want to join. Or, to be correct, it’ s not like anyone wants you to join them.
Terina : Thanks for the compliment about my posterior...I do try to keep it worthy of my name--very worthy. Now, if you haven't noticed...um...a LOT of people hitting on me? Like my two wrestlers I manage, for starters.
Ivy : Yeah, a manslut who’ d f*** a goat as long as it has a vagina, that’ s not really an accomplishment, not to mention he still refuses to make out with YOU. And the other one being an alcoholic who doesn’ t want you even in his worst delirium tremens trips. Seriously, how do you manage to be constantly surrounded by several men and never manage to get laid ? That’ s needing some particular skills, I guess.
Official : Ahem… ladies ?
Terina : Well, some of us are actually spending time training instead of spreading their legs.
Ivy : Don’ t talk about things you don’ t know. And I’ m talking about both of these things.
Official : Laaadiiiies !
Terina : HA HA HA HA !! Yeah, go ahead and keep up the cliché jokes. Everyone's gonna respect you and think so well of you when you construct a faulty web of lies like the crippled spider that you are! I know you like to open your mouth for plenty of things, but that’ s the only thing you’ re good… no wait, scratch that one… the only thing you’ re half-decent at. Seriously, you have no athletic skills whatsoever. You thought you were strong because of some fluke victories, but our last match proved that I am he best one.
Ivy : Strange how with useless people, it’ s fluke during the thousands of time you beat them, but it’ s a proof of how great and awesome they are the one little time they get the upper hand THANKS TO A DOOR.
Terina : And I got my head slammed through a wooden chair that shattered on impact, but you don't hear me whining and moaning about that! We're even at the very least. How can you still…
Official : LADIES GODDAMMIT !!
*The two women suddenly turn their faces to the official.*
Official : I don’ t care if you tear each other apart, but keep that for the ring ! For now, I just want both of you to tell me which stipulation you chose for your Weapon of Choice match. I hope you already gave it a good thought because I remind you that what you pick will be the ONLY way to defeat your opponent.
*He picks up a coin from his pocket and shows it to the two women.*
Official : Now you know the same stipulation can’ t be chosen twice, so the first woman to chose a stipulation will be decided by tossing a coin. Heads, Ivy choses first; tails, Terina choses first.
Terina : It would make more sense if Ivy was associated to tails…
Ivy : True, I am obviously much more familiar to these than you are.
*With a sigh, the official tosses the coin then grabs it before slamming it on the back of his hand.*
Official : Tails, Terina choses first.
Terina : Great ! I am sooo very happy, Ivy, and I hope for you that you like long and strong pain, because in our match, I will be very happy to show you what suffering means because the stipulation I choose is submission !
Official : Remember, if you pick this, you will be forced to make miss Rosepine tap out in order to win the match. Do you confirm you choose submission ?
Terina : How can you ask ? Not only will I be able to hurt this whore in hundreds of different ways but it will give me the win on top of that ! It’ s really joining the useful to the pleasing !
Ivy : Wow ! Amazing how you used two words that depict the exact opposite of yourself in one sentence.
Official : I’ ll write that down, Terina. Ivy, please calm down. *He notes Terina’ s stipulation of choice.* Your turn, Ivy.
Ivy : Well, Terina, you just asked if I like long and strong pain. Well, I do like some long and strong things, but that’ s not pain I’ m thinking about. And considering I will suffer no pain anyway, I have nothing to fear. YOU on the other hand should worry because the stipulation I chose will be very enjoyable for me so I’ ll make sure it lasts VERY long. After all, the longer the act lasts, the better the chances you get a wrestlegasm are, right ?
Terina : Blah blah blaaah… as usual, boooooring and useless talks for hours to avoid real action.
Ivy : Dogs can talk now ? Because you sure are the most annoying bitch I’ ve ever met. Anyway, I’ ll get my kicks by beating you with them, until you can’ t get up, because I choose… Knock Out.
Official : Do you confirm ?
Ivy : Oooh yeah. I can’ t wait to get in the ring with that girl. She’ s been very naughty and she deserves a good spanking ! *She smiles, and we can see the gap left by her missing tooth has been refilled, which shows she got it replaced with a fake one.*
Terina : A spanking ? I guess that’ s the biggest thing such an inferior brain can think of. I am more thinking about giving you the beating of the century.
Official : ENOUGH !! I don’ t want any fight in my office ! Sign this damn paper and leave by the doors on the sides ! *He points at the walls on his left and right. Each one has a door. Terina grabs the pen and signs. Ivy is about to do the same when…*
Ivy : Ewkh ! She touched it ! *She picks up another pen and signs.*
Official : Feew… at last ! And now go !! I don’ t want to see you in here ever again !!
*Each woman go in opposite direction, still insulting each other until the doors are closed.*
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Limey
Unicron
It's been awhile.
Posts: 3,062
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Post by Limey on Dec 6, 2007 4:41:47 GMT -5
*"RIP" hits, and the crowd get on their feet as Limey makes his way out!! Green smoke rises from the Toomi-Tron as he throws up the horns to a huge pop...but he is not alone...Mystery stalks him from behind...eventually standing beside him and slowly raising up her hand in a grisly display of the horns by herself!! Limey notices this, and backs down, still freaked at Mystery's actions. Limey makes his way down to the ring as Mystery follows, completely struck by him.*
Announcer: The following tag team contest is scheduled for ONE-FALL! Introducing first, from Liverpool, England, he weighs in tonight at fifteen stone..."The British Brawling Machine", LIMEY!!!! And his tag team partner, from Parts Unknown...MYSTERY!!!
*Limey makes his way ringside, and hops to the apron as Mystery stands just underneath him. Limey raises the horns...but Mystery mimics him in doing so, prompting Limey to quickly enter the ring and just prepare himself in the corner. Mystery looks distant, as always, not taking her eyes off of Limey.*
*Generic music then hits as Kenny Dykstra, formerly known as Ken Doane, makes his way out, being accompanied by Victoria. Kenny is pumped up for this match, Victoria just appears wary of Mystery, who is staring a hole through her.*
Announcer: Their opponents, first from Worcester, Massachusettes, he weighs in at 234 pounds, KENNY DYKSTRA!! And his tag team partner, from San Bernardino, California, VICTORIA!!!
*The two approach the ring, and climb in...but Victoria is caught off guard by Mystery, who grabs a large chunk of the Vicious Vixen's hair and reels her into the ring!! Mystery starts smashing Victoria's head into the canvas as the bell rings, starting the match.*
*Kenny sees what's going on, and pulls off Mystery by the hair. Kenny pulls Mystery back...Limey is in! Limey grabs Kenny by the wrist and reels him in for a short-arm clothesline!!! Victoria rushes out of the ring as Mystery slinks back to her corner. Limey picks up Kenny by the head, who fights back with a headbutt to the gut. Limey is stunned, which sets him up for a neckbreaker by the former cheerleader! Kenny looks for acknowledgement from the crowd, who simply jeer him.*
*Kenny follows up with an elbow drop onto the back of Limey’s head, locking the arms around for a chinlock. Kenny pulls back onto Limey…who rises to his feet…and shoves the self-proclaimed future hall of famer to the ropes! Kenny comes back with a shoulder block to Limey!! Dykstra runs the ropes…Limey is to his feet…and performs a leapfrog! Dykstra keeps running back at Limey…and charges straight into a belly-to-belly suplex! Kenny Dykstra rises to a seated position…and gets nailed with a stiff kick to the back from the British Brawling Machine…and a full Nelson, lifting Kenny to his feet…and trying for a Dragon suplex…Kenny puts on the brakes, trying to power out…leaping upwards and performing a wheelbarrow, bringing Limey in for a victory roll!*
1, 2…
*Limey kicks out! Kenny picks up Limey by the head, and chucks him into the corner, where Victoria awaits. Kenny backs up as the referee keeps his back turned to Limey, where Victoria chokes him at the cornerside. Kenny then rushes to the corner, attempting a monkey flip…Limey catches Kenny, planting him on the top of the turnbuckle, and then performing a hard chop to the chest to make Kenny fall from the turnbuckle, catching his ankle on the top and middle ropes to suspend him dangling on the apron! The referee sees to this as Limey backs up…and then runs the ropes, coming back with a baseball slide to connect with the back of Kenny’s head!!!*
*The crowd cheer for Limey as he appeals…but is hit with the blind tag from Mystery! Mystery quickly enters the ring, and goes straight for Kenny, having emancipated his leg from the ropes. Kenny Dykstra is still dazed, and so Mystery keeps the attack going with several stomps to the head. Mystery then proceeds to flip Kenny over to his back, and locks in the Mandible Claw!!! Kenny struggles against it…reaching out…and mistakenly making the tag to Victoria’s knee in the process of reaching for the ropes!!! Mystery lets go of Kenny…and eyes Victoria menacingly!!! Victoria tries to drop down from the apron, but Mystery intercepts, capturing Victoria, and bringing her into the ring with an apron suplex!! Victoria pleads on her knees to Mystery…before rising and hitting a thumb to the eye! Victoria then rises, and grabs Mystery by the hand, sending her to the ropes with an Irish Whip! Mystery bounces off the ropes…and ducks a clothesline by Victoria! Victoria turns…to be hit with a double-leg trip…as Mystery locks in the Devil Lock! Carla Woe’s finisher!!!! Kenny begins to enter the ring…but then decides against it after assessing just how far gone Mystery is. Victoria, nowhere to go, taps!!!*
Winners: Limey and Mystery.
*Post-match, Limey and Mystery get their hands raised. Mystery attempts to get closer to Limey, who then quickly leaves the ring, with Mystery, completely fixated, follows Limey to the back slowly and in a very disturbing manner…*
Fade to a commercial.
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Ratings
Dennis Stamp
Has a box of scraps
"YAY!"
Posts: 4,236
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Post by Ratings on Dec 6, 2007 11:05:18 GMT -5
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Post by brokenrose on Dec 9, 2007 0:01:28 GMT -5
*Loud cheers are heard as BR Juri Sadamoto walks down the hallway on the way to the ring, like in the "coming next" matches seen so often before in other wrestling programing. She seems as if in a trance as if she was lost in thought. Before long she's stopped by an EWT backstage crew member.*
Backstage Worker: Miss Sack-a-moto?
Juri: *glare* ...Yes?
Backstage Worker: Why are you going that way?
Juri: My match, baka.
Backstage Worker: You don't have a match this week, it'd seem.
Juri: I... don't?
Backstage Worker: Well, it says here that you're up against... yourself...?
Juri: What? Let me see that.
Backstage Worker: See? Says "Senshe" right here. That'd be you. And... since you can't really wrestle yourself, though it'd interesting to see you try, I suppose you don't have a match this week.
Juri: Well, that's... odd...
Backstage Worker: Not really. Not like you'd have to wrestle this week anyway.
Juri: And that would be because...?
Backstage Worker: Well, Toomi forgot to get rid of the Cassinova rule following his reign.
Juri: ...Cassinova rule?
Backstage Worker: When you're Ox-Division champ, wrestling weekly matches are optional. Everybody knows that.
Juri: ...They do?
Backstage Worker: Name three people you remember seeing Cassinova wrestle that weren't on PPVs.
Juri: *Long pause* I can't.
Backstage Worker: We'll see you next week, Miss Sadmot.
Juri: ...yeah sure....
*Cut to commercial.*
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Post by brokenrose on Dec 9, 2007 0:06:50 GMT -5
*Back from commercial the camera focuses in on OX Division Champion BR Juri Sadamoto backstage and heading for her car, no doubt to leave for the night. Although she is not wearing as fancy of clothes as we last saw her, she still is keeping up her dignified look by way of some black slacks and red, long shelve blouse. To top it off, her title rests comfortably around her waist. Out of nowhere, an annoying song comes from her pocket. She only rolls her eyes, no doubt she has branded whoever this is with such a song on purpose. She pulls out her phone, and somehow, the camera is able to pick up the name... "Synthy". Juri turns to the camera totally breaking the fourth wall. With a blank look on her face she clicks the auto-hang up button.* Juri: First you don't even care enough to talk to me. Next you're spouting off about how I'm not as hardcore as you? *With contempt.* Chick-a-dee, you've never truly seen me work. I may not like pain. I may not enjoy the agony I face the day after a brutal match. But I love the effect it gives. And I bask in the rush of a new scar. *She points at one small one right in the center of her forehead.* Terina. Submission match. I went head first through a table. *Then the one crossing over it.* Karma. The second meeting where I was decimated within a inch of my life. *Then one right over her eyebrow, the most noticeable due to the eyebrow missing a good chunk of hair.* And Synthy. The match where I fell from the ropes to the stairs, head first. Yeah, I'm tough enough to hold my own. *She smirks, but can't hide the hurt look in her eye.* But you've never seen the monster that was the referred to by many as the Murder Princess of the Deathmatch. A sadistic individual that would hurt herself, forever scar herself while retiring some of the best in the business... She would excitedly wait as the scar formed, as a child might wait for a Christmas present, and would squeal with joy when she got a fresh tear upon her own skin. She liked... No, she loved to see her so called 'good looks' be ripped and torn into ruin. *She brushes her hair back.* Now, I'm far removed from that creature. I don't even like to think about that side of me anymore. *Bowing her head* All of these things yet I'm not as good as the almighty Synthy?! *She lifts her head to a very different Juri. A look of passion never before seen in her usually calm demeanor.* Just throw me in a Deathmatch and allow my blood to spill... *Nostrils flaring* You'll see why when my jade eyes turned so cold... Children screamed in terror. The bravest men turned their head from my sight. And how even a few succumbed to heart attack. YOU WANT TO DOUBT ME?! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'- * The song plays again, only this time it's a text message. Juri shakes her head and loses the cold glare she had before.* Juri: *Snorting and as sarcastic as possible* "The package will explain everything." What pac- Voice from behind Juri: PACKAGE FOR JURI SADAMOTO! Juri: EEP! *She comically jumps as she glances behind her, no doubt blowing some of the credibility of her earlier words (at least in the common fans' minds).* Delivery Man: You her? Juri: ....You're the first worker around here to get my name right. Delivery Man: Oh that's only because Spanish is my second language. Juri: .....what? Delivery Man: Sign please. Juri: *Annoyed* Oh, all right! *She does so and is handed a decent sized box addressed from familiar address. As she reads it, the dude walks away .It’s a gift wrapped in purple with silver lace-like designs. A brilliant red rose is the very center of the package. * Juri: What could this be? A 99 cent store gift with a card that says "I miss my lackey,"!? If she thinks I'm even going to- * The ring tone plays yet again, another text message.* Juri: "Open it, do it for me." Ha, I'll open it alright! Then I'll cast all the meaningless crap she gave aside. *She rips open the tape and opens the box, beginning to look at the contents.* Like I'm ever...going to.....for… *A rarity indeed, she opens it up to find what looks like an apology letter from Synthy Eris. Juri pulls out the thing at the top, a small Polaroid picture of the two sitting on a couch, the angle is lopsided, but even at such a goofy angle, the two can be seen with very happy smiles, genuine ones. Beneath it, lies the actual gift. A friendship diary, pitch black velvet, but with a red heart with purple demon’s wings. It’s diary which two people can write things into it, saying to the other what they want to say, but don't want to say out loud, or if the two are too busy to speak face-to-face, can just leave their thoughts in it for the other to find later. It’s obvious Synthy’s put some thought into this, sending it to her bullheaded friend.* Juri: ...Syn... *A beige paper, suitable only for a person with deep artistic tendencies. On the paper is a drawing, done expertly in charcoal. Half of the picture is Synthy’s face, her hair wild around her face, and behind her is a crescent moon. She looks proud, and the twinkle in her eye… matches the opposite side. The side which has Juri Sadamoto’s confident face. The two have been drawn to have mirror image expressions, but with a sun behind Juri. A few strands of pale pink pastel highlights Synthy’s hair, while a bright red highlights Juri’s. It adds just enough color to add vibrancy to the dimension of the double portrait. Inscribed across the bottom: Championships may look good, but friendships look the best. I haven't lost my sight, 'Ri. -Syn.* *Seemingly without a thought, the fiery Joshi dials a number and places it to her ear.* Juri: I'm so- *As she turns, she grabs the lens of the camera and pushes it forward causing it to crash on the ground.*
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Indigocrates
Unicron
I got bored. Decided to become a philosopher. Just 'cause.
Posts: 2,953
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Post by Indigocrates on Dec 9, 2007 15:00:28 GMT -5
As Chris Masters is in the ring, awaiting his opponent, Batman suddenly glides into the ring and takes down Chris Masters! Batman then begins vicsiously hammering on Chris Masters as security, EMT's, and trainers rush down to the ring. Batman quickly glides away from the ring, before anyone can do anything, however. Cut to next segment.
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Post by teamireland on Dec 9, 2007 15:40:43 GMT -5
*Coach O'Hare throws open the door of Dorf & Toomi's Office. He is flanked by Aidan & Sean on either side of him while Shane Malone brings up the rear.*
Dorf: Ah, Coach O'Hare, I see you got my message.
O'Hare: What message? I came here to see if I could wangle a title shot for Aidan & Sean.
Dorf: YOU CAN WANGLE NOTHING! I sent a girl out to get you over an hour ago. There she is now...
*Tiffany walks by Dorf's office door snapping her bubble gum.*
Dorf: Tiffany, I told you to give O'Hare the message that I wanted to see him!
Tiffany: Oh, OK. Mr. Coachman, Mr. Dorfelfin wants to see you in his office right now. Good, huh?
Dorf: Well, it's a bit late...
Tiffany: Cool, see ya!
*She walks off snapping her gum again.*
Dorf: *Sigh* $500,000 down the drain on that bimbo.
*He rolls his eyes then turns to address Team Ireland again.*
Dorf: Now, as you know, we're heading out to Iraq very soon & I have a little something special in mind for your match in particular. You boys in Team Ireland always seem so gruff & serious & that Sigma fellow too. You all need to lighten up. That's why I'm announcing the first ever... CHRISTMAS DEATH MATCH! What better way to get into the Holiday spirit?
O'Hare: *Glares*... What?!
Dorf: The Christmas Death Match. It's basically the same as a Texas Death Match... but only weapons related to the festive period are allowed, Christmas Trees, lights & what have you.
O'Hare: This has to be the dumbest idea ever! How do you come up with this stuff?
*Dorf picks a book up off his desk, Eric Bischoff's "Controversy Creates Cash".*
Dorf: This little baby never steers you wrong!
O'Hare: But... but... WCW went out of business! Bischoff DID fail!
Dorf: No! It's still on the air. I just watched Thunder this past Thursday on Spike TV!
O'Hare: That was TNA!
Dorf: Eh... Close enough. No go on, prepare for your match & MERRY CHRISTMAS!
*Team Ireland file out as Dorf starts humming "Sleigh Ride" to himself & putting some incredibly ostentatious decorations on a large tree in his side of the office. He then places a crappy looking, dead tree on Toomi's side & smiles to himself.*
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Bedlam LadyD
Samurai Cop
Is a WSX Cupcake. BOOOOOOOM!!
Posts: 2,452
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Post by Bedlam LadyD on Dec 9, 2007 19:18:11 GMT -5
* A commercial for Season's Beatings pops up, ending with a simple enough image.*
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Post by SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman on Dec 10, 2007 15:00:16 GMT -5
*The camera opens on the Darkness in the Light, Mysth. He is in the center of the ring, wearing his backstage attire, and he is holding a microphone. Despite his mask that hides most of his facial expression, one can tell he is obviously upset. For now, Mysth doesn' t say anything, he raises is right arm, then turns it in the direction of the ramp and points at the Toomitron, on which a video of his non-title match against Joe One is being displayed.*
*The video stops and Mysth raises the microphone to his mouth.*
Mysth : I guess you people here remember this... event... very well. When our BELOVED "undefeated" Heavyweight Champion got helped by his Minipax teammates to avoid losing this match... So that' s the way you do things, huh, Joe ? You screw people over, you get your partners to go altogether against one man, you make sure than when you' re about to lose, you get the match to be stopped ? Well under such conditions, it is pretty damn easy to remain undefeated. But remember, Joe. Our match at Season' s Beating is under Pure Rules. Which means that the title CAN change hands via disqualification. So Joe it is very sad but you won' t be able to make your lackeys make up for your lack of talent, and you won' t be able to use foreign weapons against me. If you want to keep that belt, Joe, you will not be able to get disqualified on purpose. You will have to -can you only believe that ?- use your WRESTLING SKILLS and defend the title cleanly. *He smiles* But let' s be serious for a moment, it is obvious that you cannot do such a thing, because during our non-title match, everyone saw who was the dominant athlete...
*He raises his fist, and the crowd replies with cheers.*
Mysth : So Joe, unfortunately for you, you will have to fight by yourself, and you will lose, because you' re weak. At Season' s Beating, I will make you experience your very first loss, and I will win the EWT Heavyweight Title, and the Extreme WrestleCrap Threaderation will at last be represented by a legitimate champion.
*"Otherworld" hits as Mysth leaves the ring and the crowd cheers. On his way to leave the arena, he greets crowd members and high-fives them. The camera gets a shot of his face. The expression under the mask has changed, it is now a very determined look than can be guessed under it. And we cut to the next segment.*[
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Post by Marcus Trunk on Dec 12, 2007 15:54:25 GMT -5
Marcus Trunk is backstage with Lean Gene Cummerbund.
Lean Gene: I'm here with Marcus Trunk, and Marcus, last time we saw you, you defeated the Sandman in a brutal hardcore match. I mean, that powerbomb off the ladder through the flaming table was reminiscent of the old ECW. But that was only the first challenge leading up to your match at Season's Beatings against Hardcore Hensley. Do you have anything to say to your upcoming opponent?
Trunk: Hensley, I told you my resume. Now you've seen what I can do in person. If you can hold up to a beating like the Sandman can, I expect a hell of a matchup at Season's Bea--
Suddenly, Trunk is nailed from behind with a chair! As Trunk drops to the floor, the camera pans up to reveal Stevie Richards!
Stevie: I'll show you! You'll see!
Stevie jabs the end of the chair onto Trunk's leg.
Stevie: You think you're hardcore? Stevie Richards is hardcore! Get up!
Trunk struggles to his feet, as Stevie winds up the chair for another shot. But as Stevie brings the chair down, Trunk punches it right into his face! As Stevie stumbles around, Trunk grabs him around the neck with both hands and throws him into a pile of 2x4s.
Trunk: YOU WANT ME IN THE RING? YOU MEET ME IN THE RING!!
Trunk storms off as Stevie is left lying there, clutching his head.
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Post by Hensley on Dec 12, 2007 17:53:53 GMT -5
*Sum Guy stands beside Hardcore Hensley backstage.*
Sum Guy: Hensley, you put up one helluva effort against Tommy Dreamer last month. The Extreme Rules bout the two of you went through had some of the best brawling I can remember, and those hellacious spots of yours were inconceivable! What do you have to say for your performance?
Hensley: Well, you know I felt like I had a lot to prove to my opponent, and since I damn sure ain't done enough since my inception here, I just saw a lot on the table.
Sum Guy: Well, your opponent Marcus Trunk, didn't exactly lay down for the Sandman. Another ECW faithful that put took him to hell and back!
Hensley: Very true, good sir, but to be perfectly honest with you. I'm not the Sandman. I'm not Tommy Dreamer either. I'm Hardcore Hensley and-
*Suddenly, Raven levels Hensley from behind with a kendo stick. He nails him with several more stiff shots before tossing the weapon aside. He pushes Sum Guy down, and takes his mic.*
Raven: Shut up, Hensley!
*Raven glares into the camera.*
Raven: Quote the Raven, nevermore!
*He closes up to the camera with his nostrils flaring.*
Raven: EWT-
*Raven gets caught off when Hensley spins him around, and begins berating him with his patented stiff kicks. He breaks out his usual arsenal, and tops it all of with a smooth heel kick. Raven smacks up against the wall before slowly dropping to the ground. Hensley throws in some more rights before turning to the camera.*
Hensley: You wanna start something, you son of a bitch! Get your ass up, we're going to the ring!
*Hensley guns the mic down, and hoists the dazed Raven up over his shoulder. He carries him off camera, apparently heading towards the ring!*
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Post by liontamer12 on Dec 13, 2007 1:12:10 GMT -5
The camera cuts from the Hardcore Hensley promo to the crowd in the EWT arena. Fans are at a quiet rumble of talk and laughter and the camera pans to the commentators’ table.
JR: Well folks, we’ve had an exciting show for you so far and like the video says, we will see The Guardinals in action for the first time since their match with Virus and Jonnie Sparks almost five months ago. It was August 12, it was Old School and by god was it a Victory for this young team.
A Video appears on the Toomitron of clips from EWT Old School.
[glow=red,2,300]“Virus: To hell with this goddamn gym! DAVIDSON! VALENTINE! GET THE F*** OUT HERE! AND BRING HER WITH YOU!
Virus's fury silences the crowd into shock, and Smarky looks very afraid that his partner will not discriminate between friend and foe in this match-up as Land of Confusion by Disturbed begins to play over the speaker system. John "the Lion" Valentine, Andy "the Eagle" Davidson and Amnestria make their way out of the locker room.
John "the Lion" Valentine: Since you just leveled the announcer, I suppose we'll have to make our own announcement. Amnestria, will you do the honors?
Amnestria: Why, certainly! Ladies and gentlemen, I give you - from Oak Harbor, Washington, weighing in at 225 pounds, John..."The Lion"...VALENTINE! And his tag team partner, weighing in at 290 pounds and hailing from Preston, England, ANDY..."The Eagle"...DAVIDSON! And together...They are the Guardinals!
The crowd cheers as the Guardinals slowly stride down to the ring, absorbing the crowd's admiration. Virus strides in the ring angrily as Smarky takes a corner, apparently because Virus will be starting the match up for the hacked-together duo. Valentine and Davidson, however, play a game of rock-paper-scissors to determine who will face the incensed big man. Davidson wins, and with a show of mock indignation, Valentine takes up a tag rope. The referee calls for the bell as Davidson enters the ring and begins to size up Virus.
DING, DING, DING! …”
“Virus charges in with a clothesline, which is ducked by Davidson. Davidson readies a spinning kick for Virus as he turns around, but Virus blocks the kick and smacks Davidson right in the jaw with a right cross. Davidson is stunned for a moment, and Virus takes advantage, pounding at Davidson with kicks to the stomach and clubbing blows to the face and head. Before Davidson is in the ropes, however, Virus hits a snap DDT, taking Davidson down to the mat. Virus goes for the cover...have none of it, and yells at Davidson to tag Valentine in. Davidson shakes his head, and Virus slaps the taste right of his mouth and continues his verbal beatdown. Davidson doesn't seem to hear, reeling from the slap, until finally Davidson explodes in a blast of punches and kicks that sends Virus staggering backwards to avoid the furious flurry of activity from the Englishman. Davidson continues to punch and kick away, and eventually Virus is in the ropes, cowering
1!
KICKOUT! ….”
“Virus, frustrated, leaps anyway and selivers a devastating SWANTAN BOMB to Davidson as Smarky spins out of the way of the cranage! The crowd explodes in excitement from the odd move choice by Virus. They realize what they’ve cheered for and begin to boo. Virus rolls out of the ring in a huff and returns to the apron. Davidson twitches on the mat as Smarky picks him up to execute the “Backmask.” He begins to spin but Davidson snaps out of his trance and tornado DDT’s Smarky’s face into the mat! Both men collapse in a heap in the middle of the ring and the referee begins the count…
1!
2!
3!
4! Virus and Valentine begin flailing about to get their respected partners to wake. The crowd begins a slow clapping cheer…it intensifies in speed…
5! The clap continues and Smarky and Davidson begin to stir much to the delight of the crowd.
6! Valentine reaches out as far as his hand can reach to get the tag from Davidson. The claps disperse into a loud cheer. All members of the crowd are shaking in their seats in anticipation of the tag.
7! Smarky begins to crawl toward Virus for the tag.
8! Davidson begins to crawl. Smarky is a few short feet from the tag.
9! Smarky leaps and slaps the hand of Virus and the crowd boo’s. Virus blasts into the ring and grabs the foot of Davidson before he can make the tag to Valenitne! The crowd boo’s once again and Virus lifts Davidson in the air in vertical suplex fashion. The crowd winces in fear at the Infection that is on its way. In an animalistic rage, Valentine bursts from his corner and spears Virus’s exposed gut. Virus bends in half and Davidson falls on Valentine’s back. All competitors lay in a heap in the middle of the ring. Smarky looks at destruction in the ring…looks at the crowd…the ring…the crowd…the ring…the crowd…finally, he glances at the ring one final time and explodes in laughter. The referee begins counting for Valentine to leave the ring. Valentine hears the referee’s voice and slowly rolls out of the ring to avoid disqualification.
Davidson stands up as well as Virus. Virus leaps forward to deliver a clothesline but Davidson ducks under and standing Dropkicks Virus square in the back! Virus quickly gets back up but turns around into The Eagle’s Landing! Davidson goes for the pin and the referee counts…
1!
2! Valentine rushes around the ring and grabs Smarky’s ankle before he can rush in and break the pin.
3! The Referee calls for the bell…
DING, DING, DING! ….”[/glow]
JR: And there it was folks, the Guardinals’ last match on EWT television and we’re going to see them back in action tonight.
King: You’re right JR, they’ll be returning tonight against the new “Holy Father” Darren Matthews and his partner Johnny “Rellik” Stamboli.
The lights suddenly go out and the rumble of lightning echoes throughout the arena. We hear a deep, ominous voice mutter “Repent.” “I'm Not Jesus” by Corey Taylor hits as red lights begin to crack at the stage. Sure enough, blood drips from the rafters onto the ring, lit only by three spotlights. A maniacal laugh begins to tear through the audiences ears and The Holy Father along with a bloodied Rellik strut to the ring.
JR: This is just sick!
King: Reminds me of King of the Ring in ‘98! You remember, don’t you JR?
JR: I remember.
Howard Finkel: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! On their way to the ring, at a combined weight of 469 pounds, “The Holy Father” Darren Matthews and Rellik!
The audience provides raging boo’s for the new competitor and his demented partner. Rellik, despite the deceiving blood, is more pumped than ever, bursting to the ring to bathe in the fresh puddle of blood. The Holy Father chuckles and slowly enters the ring. He grabs the mic and begins:
THF: As you see, a strapping young lad has joined the many who wished to be saved. Rellik, a strong man of faith will join me and show you all the salvation that awaits those who follow I. And you will soon see The Guardinals share the same fa-
Before he can finish, “Land of Confusion” by Disturbed blasts from the PA. The crowd stands to their feet in excitement as Amnestria emerges from the curtain, mic in hand.
Amnestria: And their worthy opponents, at a combined weight of 415 pounds, The Guardinals!
The crowd erupts again as the seasoned Andy “The Eagle” Davidson and his partner John “The Lion” Valentine explode from the curtain in unison with spectacular fireworks. Clad in their Guardinals jackets they strut to the ring, Amnestria in the middle. Davidson points his daunting snooker cue at The Holy Father. Valentine looks a little different this day, the usual occurrence of white in his costume has been switched with a hot, vibrant pink but the hair is as wet as usual. Just as the stage crew finishes cleaning the ring, Davidson slides into the ring, removing his jacket as well as Valentine.
JR: There they are! Man do they look like their in great physical condition for this match.
King: I’m surprised! I hope they smash that weird Stamboli!
JR: Finally you agree with me.
King: Don’t get too comfortable JR.
Referee Tim White waits for both starting partners to enter the ring (Rellik and Davidson) and calls for the bell.
DING, DING, DING!
Rellik and Davidson circle each other for a few short moments and quickly latch into a collar-elbow tie-up. The struggle a bit, and Rellik forcefully pushes Davidson into the ropes. On the rebound, Davidson spinning heel kicks Rellik right on the cheek, knocking him to the mat. He quickly gets back up and is met with a clothesline. Rellik gets up again, and this pattern repeats two more times. Finally, Rellik stays to the mat and Davidson picks him up and applies a strict arm wrench. He reaches for the tag and Valentine hops up to the top rope and crashes down on Rellik’s twisted arm with a double axe handle.
JR: The Guardinals with some good, quick offense right here off the get-go.
King: These kids are doing quite well. Matthews is going to have to get tagged in to save is bloody friend here.
Valentine picks Rellik up and Irish whipps him, only to be Irish Whipped himself, he ducks under the clothesline. Rellik goes prone, JLV skips over him, on the final pass, Rellik delivers a bone-shattering lariat, slamming JLV to the mat.
King: Oooh! My gosh did you see that JR?
JR: I sure did. I don’t know if Valentine will be able to get up from this one.
Rellik puts his elbow up and attempts to drop it over JLV’s chest. The Lion is too quick and rolls out of the way. He quickly returns to his feet and begins to relentlessly strike Rellik into a corner. Referee Tim White begins to push Valentine away. Valentine doesn’t stop. The ref begins the count, 1,2…JLV stops and puts his hands up. Rellik disrespectfully slaps Valentine’s cheek as he steps away. JLV stops, rubbs his cheek and explodes to the corner cross bodying Rellik onto the turnbuckle. As Rellik falls, he reaches for the tag and The Holy Father makes his way into the ring. The crowd boo’s loudly at the turn of events.
JR: There’s the tag and now The Holy Father is the legal man.
King: Well, JLV wanted this match and he got it. I’m excited to see what happens.
Matthews and Valentine circle each other for a few moments and explode into a tie-up. They struggle, moving all over the ring, corner to corner. The finally reach the corner closest to the recovering Rellik with Valentine in control. Valentine breaks away and once again charges toward Matthews. Matthews ducks and pushes JLV up and over the ropes and out of the ring.
JR: Oh my! Valentine has been thrown out of the ring! Who’s gonna’ win?! We’ll find out, right after this…
To be Continued…
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The Line
Patti Mayonnaise
Real Name: Bumkiss. Stanley Bumkiss.
Peanut Butter & JAAAAAMMMM!
Posts: 36,698
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Post by The Line on Dec 13, 2007 19:46:54 GMT -5
"Kashmir" by Led Zeppelin plays over the loud speaker. Out comes "Insecticidal" Andy Duke, making his return after a brief hiatus in EWT.
Ring Announcer: Making his way to the ring now, weighing in at 215 pounds, from Chewelah, Washington, "Insecticidal" Andy Duke!
"F***ing in the Bushes" plays, as ROH World Champion makes his way out from the back.
Ring Announcer: And his opponent, he is the Ring of Honor Heavyweight Champion, Nigel McGuinness!
Andy tries to get this one done quickly; as soon as Nigel enters, Duke begins to stomp on him. Duke sends McGuinness into the ropes with an Irish Whip, but Nigel comes off the ropes with a sickening REBOUND LARIAT! Duke gets turned inside-out, and lands on the top of his head. He's gone limp!
Nigel goes for the cover...
1
2
3
Ring Announcer: Here is your winner...NIGEL MCGUINNESS!
*Andy was squashed surprisingly fast! Not a good way to come back to EWT. But he's not getting up folks. He might be hurt! The crowd has gone completely quiet, not something these EWT fans do very often. The referee has signaled for EMTs to come and provide care. Andy appears to have no movement in his limbs. This may be a serious neck injury.
*Slow-motion replays are shown of the lariat, and stop at the exact moment where Andy's head hits the mat, causing a whiplash effect.
*When we cut back to the ring, we see Andy, now conscious, being wheeled away on a stretcher.
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Boku AKA Da Green Guy
El Dandy
WC's Resident Pirate Otaku and Official Scapegoat
Always and Forever, Hurricane.
Posts: 8,371
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Post by Boku AKA Da Green Guy on Dec 13, 2007 19:58:39 GMT -5
EWT.com Exclusive – Inside Toom E.'s Office
*The door to the hallway is kicked open violently by none other than “The Icon” Axel Halaway. He makes a beeline to the desk from which Toom E. Dangerously is behind.*
Axel: You knew.
Toom E. *smirk* Knew what?
Axel: You KNEW that CAP was going to pull that crap! You KNEW that one of us were going to be taken out!
Toom E.: Oh did I?
*Halaway slams in fists on Toom's desk.*
Axel: DON'T GIVE ME THAT crap! IT'S YOUR FAULT JOBBY'S ON HIS WAY TO THE HOSPITAL!
Toom E.: *focusing on the papers in front of him* He will be out for awhile, won't he?
*Axel steels himself from striking Toom as the boss sneers at him.*
Axel: ...
Toom E.: I've heard primary observations from doctors looking at around three months at the least. That's three months without that headache. AND at least three months without you.
Axel: WHAT?!
Toom E.: You know your contract, right? Well, you can't be wrestling singles matches with that contract still in place.
Axel: YOU SON OF A-
Toom E.: AND I don't like your tone & attitude. So as of right now, I'm suspending you from EWT programming until your tag partner comes back. And don't dare try to shop around for other feds, lest you want to break your EWT contract and be sued.
Axel: *smirk* You planned this from the start.
Toom E.: *Mock innocence* Why I'm only reacting to what's happening. It's not like I'd WANT one of my 'top' tag teams out of action.
Axel: *Smiling an unhenged grin* Fine. Fine. I'll go. But you can guarantee that when I come back, I'm going to give you so much hell that you'll regret EVER being the sperm that made it to the egg.
Toom E.: Cute. *He pushes a button* That will be the guards taking you outside to the police vehicle. You'll be spending the night at a hotel paid and ran off of state money. Hope you enjoy being dragged out of the arena in front of everyone as you're carted to jail.
*Four security guards come. Axel freely offers his hands to be cuffed as he continues his grin at Toom E.*
Axel: *mouthing* I'll be back. Just you see. *To the guards.* Make sure it's good and tight, I don't want to have to adjust them myself.
*With that, he's escorted out the door.*
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Boku AKA Da Green Guy
El Dandy
WC's Resident Pirate Otaku and Official Scapegoat
Always and Forever, Hurricane.
Posts: 8,371
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Post by Boku AKA Da Green Guy on Dec 13, 2007 19:59:32 GMT -5
EWT.com Exclusive – As Halaway Is Being Lead Out
*The cameras fade into see “The Icon” Axel Halaway smirking at the camera. As it becomes more clear, we see the four guards flanking him as they lead him out the hallway. It's clear that everyone that they pass have shocked looked on their faces. Yet for some reason, Axel's not embarrassed. Rather he's playing up his cockiness to an Nth degree.*
Axel: Hey! *To another stage hand.* Like the trained monkeys? They came with the new bracelets. *To another.* Let Jimmy know that I defiled his latest shipment of booze. *To another.* Tell Karma she's a whore.
Lily: Axel? What's going on here?
*He cocks his head to see his good friend Lily-Rose staring at him as if he had three heads, unsure exactly what's happening here.*
Axel: Oh! Hey! How's it going?
Lily: Axel, I came by to negotiate a deal with EWT for another match, but...I see this. Did you get in trouble?
Axel: Well, yes. I did do something stupid. I had a little 'discussion' with Toom E. It turns out he liked it so much that he's giving me a three month vacation and a night's stay at a fine hotel.
Lily: Axe, I just...you of all people. Why would you do such a thing?! Did you even think about your career when you exploded to Toomi? What are you-
Axel: Hey, don't worry about me. Sure, this is a set back to beginning of my legacy... But I'll find a loophole to Toom E.'s decree.
Lily: You better hope so, Axe. Just try to stay out of anymore trouble while you're gone, okay?
Axel: You just take care of yourself, little missy.
Lily looks down at the floor, crossing her arms and sighing.
Lily: I'll be fine, don't worry. Just keep your cool while you're on "vacation", don't try to run a tank into the company, and relax. You should be back here in no time.
Axel: *being lead out the door.* Stay sweet, Lil.
*Lily turns her back as Axel's taken out the building, sighs, and walks off towards Toomi's office. *
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The Line
Patti Mayonnaise
Real Name: Bumkiss. Stanley Bumkiss.
Peanut Butter & JAAAAAMMMM!
Posts: 36,698
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Post by The Line on Dec 13, 2007 20:42:12 GMT -5
*We Cut to a hospital room, where Andy Duke lays in a bed. The door is out of camera view.
Andy Duke: (addressing someone off-screen kind of slurridly.) What za hell are you doing here?
*The lights are turned off, and the sounds of an attack are heard. The sounds subside, and a door is heard closing. A few minutes later a doctor opens the door and turns on the light.
Doctor: What the hell? Can we get some help in here?
*The camera pans over to show Andy Duke bloodied and with his IV's ripped out.
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,391
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Dec 13, 2007 22:16:04 GMT -5
Static.....
We are here to spread the Gospel....
Black replaces the static....
We are here to cleanse your souls....
Words start to appear, yet we do not see them...
We have disappeared, and have returned....
The words get less blurry...
And yet, we remain the same...
The words are almost elgible...
We remain....
The words are clear now...
RATED X: Returning in 5 days.....
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Post by Mystery on Dec 13, 2007 22:52:15 GMT -5
*Todd Grisham approaches a tent in a wooded type section. Mystery is sitting outside the tent, roasting marshmellows. He quickly hurries over as he sees this.*
Todd: Mystery, I have heard the rumors but I did not believe them. The fans did not believe them. But I guess it's safe to assume the rumors are true?
*Mystery takes a bite out of her marshmellow & looks at Todd with a confused look to her face.*
Mystery: Rumors? What rumors?
Todd: I guess being homeless, news does travel slow.
Mystery: Homeless? Whatever do you get that idea?
Todd: Well, the tent. The fact that you haven't been seen in EWT for weeks. The fact that you're booked for Season's Beatings in Iraq & we haven't heard from you since the announcement.
Mystery: Oh, silly, silly boy. I'm not homeless. My house is right over there.
*Mystery points to a house in the distance.*
Todd: Um, really?
Mystery: Look, silly boy. I just decided to camp out in my backyard. It's a nice night out. There's a meteor shower tonight. I wanted to see it.
Todd: I guess that makes sense. But where have you been for the last few weeks then?
Mystery: On my honeymoon.
Todd: Honeymoon?
Mystery: Yes. To my beloved, Limey. If you wait here a bit, he will be out to join me for the meteor shower.
Todd: Wait. You got married to Limey? And you are wrestling Carla Woe at the next pay per view?
Mystery: Carla is such a nice girl. She was my Maid of Honor. She looks pretty in pink. This match is a friendly competition.
Todd: Friendly?
Mystery: Yes, Carla is my friend. I care for her cause the welcome will not end Though its hard to let you go In the fathers hands we know That a lifetimes not too long to live as friends.
With the faith and love gods given Springing from the hope we know We will pray the joy youll live in Is the strength that now you show
Todd: Um, Ok.
Mystery: Look, I have turned over a new leaf. And marriage has done that to me. Marrying Limey, the love of my life, is the best thing that can ever happen. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go see to Limey & get some cocoa for the meteor shower.
*Mystery walks away & heads towards the house. She struggles with the front door, as it does not open. She steps off the doorstep & picks up a rock, throwing it through the glass door as we fade to commercial.*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Dec 14, 2007 8:42:21 GMT -5
A message appears on the screen.
He is returning.
08-19-12-24-16-04-26-05-22
There are many pretenders.
07-22-24-19-13-18-24-18-26-13
But he is the pinnacle, he will prove it again.
08-11-26-01-18-08-24-12-14-18-13-20
A new year, a new beginning.
01-18-20-08
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Post by Marcus Trunk on Dec 14, 2007 14:20:19 GMT -5
Kevin Sullivan is in the ring with a microphone in one hand and a barbed wire 2x4 in the other.
Sullivan: Indeed, Marcus Trunk, it is time for you to learn the error of your ways. For you claim to be well-versed in the ways of hardcore, but the depths of hell are littered with the poisonous scorpion tails that sting with the fury of Satan's pitchfork itself. And when you feel those scorpion stings, Marcus Trunk, you will know what it is to be hardcore, Marcus Trunk. Because the tails of the scorpions will sting...
Sullivan pulls out a lighter and attempts to light the 2x4 on fire. But he can't get it to light. The crowd starts booing and laughing at Sullivan. Eventually he just holds the lit lighter in front of the 2x4, as if to pretend it was on fire.
Sullivan: ...like FIRE!
"For Those Who Fight Further" plays as Marcus Trunk comes out to the cheers of the crowd.
Tony Schiavone: And finally these EWT fans have something to cheer about!
Bobby "The Brain" Heenan: About time somebody came out. When's the last time Kevin Sullivan made any sense?
Schiavone: We've got a scheduled matchup between Trunk and Sullivan about to begin!
Trunk steps into the ring as Sullivan beckons with the barbed wire 2x4. Sullivan charges and swings at Trunk with the weapon, but Trunk ducks, turns around, and crushes Sullivan with a lariat, forcing Sullivan to drop the 2x4. With Sullivan lying on the mat, Trunk picks up the 2x4 and lays it across Sullivan's back. He grabs the handle of it with one hand, and stomps the 2x4 onto Sullivan's back! The barbed wire cuts into him!
Schiavone: The barbed wire is cutting into Sullivan! Marcus Trunk is on a mission!
Heenan: He'd better be careful with that thing. He doesn't want to get splinters.
Trunk brings Sullivan to his feet, with the barbed wire 2x4 still clinging to Sullivan's shirt. He picks up Sullivan and plants him with a spinebuster, driving the 2x4 into his back again!
Schiavone: Trunk with the back slammer! Right onto the 2x4!
Trunk goes for the pin.
1...2...3!
Dave Penzer: Your winner of this contest...Marcus Trunk!
Schiavone: Marcus Trunk showed no mercy to Kevin Sullivan tonight. This is the greatest night in the history of our sport!
Heenan: Sullivan got no offense in this one. Trunk just dominated and it was over before it started.
Schiavone: Let's go back to the ring, because Marcus Trunk has something to say.
Trunk: That's another one down, Hensley. I've been through the smoke and fire, and barely avoided being set ablaze. I know your match doesn't start for a little while, but I'm gonna stick around and make sure I get a front row seat when you take on your opponent.
Trunk exits the ring and takes a seat next to the timekeeper.
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