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Post by crauswell on Jan 1, 2008 1:19:51 GMT -5
We cut to the ring, as we the clock countdown start counting down, as we approach a new year in EWT, the crowd counting along, because they can. Just as the clock reaches zero, the mood immediately changes, as Flock Off starts up on the Toomitron, as Crauswell walks out from the back, still in his Cidal Squad attire, despite being it's only active member.
Finkel: This is the first match of 2008 and is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Parts Unknown, weighing in at 272 pounds, The Cidal Force Crauswell!
Craus looks around slowly, as the crowd gives a mixed reaction, considering his opponent. He rolls into the ring, stepping into the center and dropping down, spreading his wings, then letting them drop, as he rises back up, walking over and leaning back against the turnbuckle, arms folded, as he lays in wait, looking to be completely intimidated.
Cole: Look at the focus of Crauswell. He looks serious for this match.
JBL: He better, he's challenged a wrecking ball of a wrestler in Crow.
He doesn't wait long, as the atmosphere grows more dim, the furry glancing out towards the entrance way, as the ghostly Ferhago emerges into sight.
“Dead men tell no tales....”
The sound of thunder peals across the sound system as the lights instantly black out. A ghostly white ship sails across the Toomitron. The spotlight goes out and the lights come back to life. There, on the top turnbuckle near the ramp, Ferhago Crow is perched. Ominously Crow stands, staring down at Crauswell as if to search for weaknesses.
Finkel: And from the Depths of the Caribbean, weighing in at 277 lbs... FERHAGO CROW!
As he hops down off the ropes, having made a full circle around the ring, he turns to his opponent, a very emotionless expression on his face, as he removes his gray coat and leather tricorn, setting them aside, as he walks over to another side of the ring, simply standing there, giving off a very imposing appearance, as the bell sounds swiftly, both "men" slowly walking to the center of the ring, Ferhago with a distinct height advantage, as they quickly back from each other, both of them starting to circle the ring slowly, keeping a close on their opponent, looking for an opening. They once again lunge in, only to back off, circling once again. Eventually Craus throws a kick, nailing Crow in the leg. He throws a few more, looking to chop the imposing Crow down, Crow however catching one of those feet, simply driving an elbow into it, then going right into a Dragon Screw! Craus goes down, as Crow grabs him by the leg, looking to smash it into the mat, Craus however quickly rolling through, sending him stumbling forward, as the furry pops up from behind, grabbing him around the waist! Crow quickly elbows his way free, then switches behind, hoisting him for a high angle German, Craus however quickly blocking it with a leg, as he delivers an elbow of his own, spinning around quickly and looking for a Russian Leg Sweep! He connects, then grabs Crow's leg, immediately looking for a leg lock, to no avail as Crow nails another elbow, slipping free.
JBL: Now this is something I didn't expect!
Cole: I know, John! Who would expect that these two destroyers would be trying to wrestle a match so far?
JBL: No, I mean I expected them to kill each other in the first minute.
Cole: Oh.
The furry groans, as Crow looms above him again, catching him as he rises with a quick dropkick to the knee, taking his opponent off his feet. Craus rises back up, clutching at that leg, as Crow grabs him swiftly, hoisting him high for a Shin Breaker, Craus however fighting out with a forearm to the face! Crow stumbles back, dropping the furry, who starts unleashing a series of nasty knife edge chops, Crow showing no pain of course, but you can tell they hurt him. He clutches at his chest, as Craus rears back, unleashing a massive final one, only for Ferhago to catch it, countering it into a hip toss! Craus lands hard, as Crow leaps up, landing a legdrop across the neck, as Craus grasps the area a bit, Crow quickly sitting him up, then running off the ropes, coming back with a nasty kick right to the spine, Craus clutching at the area. Crow then grabs him by the arms, then drives his left leg into the area, as Craus grimaces a bit. Crow keeps the hold on tight, as he stretches the furry, Craus however not giving in. He gets back to his feet, Crow immediately breaking his hold, delivering a Northern lariat from behind, sending Craus back down on all fours.
JBL: Crow's speed and power should not be understated. A man with that much power should not move the way he does.
Cole: He does throw people off with that.
JBL: It's rather unnerving going into a match where conventional strategy doesn't work.
Cole: But Crow's anything but conventional.
JBL: Yes, but he also doesn't have much mat skills. Whereas Crauswell is technically sound. If Craus uses that to his advantage, this match could and would end in his favor.
Crow pulls back on those arms again, driving his boot once again into Craus's spine area, as he continues the pressure. Craus however manages to power out of the move, clutching a bit at that spine as he rolls out of the ring. Ferhago sees him on the outside, simply charging and leaping over the top rope, taking the furry back down with a Suicide Dive! He slowly sits back up, tugging Craus up with him as he does, whipping him towards the steel steps. Craus however manages to avoid the impact, leaping atop the stairs, then back onto the apron, charging and taking Crow down with a diving spear off the apron! Crow goes back down, as Craus clutches slightly at the back again, but seems far from ready to quit. He yanks Crow up himself, tossing him back into the ring, quickly crossing his throat, as he follows in after, yanking him up, driving a nasty knee into the chest, sending Crow hunched over. He then quickly runs off the ropes, coming back and nailing a Scissor Kick to the back, flattening the phantom. He immediately drops down, looking for the cover. 1.....2
Cole: Could it be?
JBL: Will Craus be the first to pin Crow?!
Crow kicks out. Craus looks down, yanking Crow back to his feet, then hoisting him up for a backbreaker, dropping him down across his knee. Crow clutches a bit at the back, as the furry pulls him up again, dropping him with a second back breaker, showing some mighty strength, even against a larger opponent. He lifts him one more time, only to get an elbow to the side of the face, as Crow drops down, countering with a Backdrop suplex! Craus gasps, nursing the area, as Crow slowly nods, walking over and climbing to the top rope, then leaping off as Craus rises back up, connecting with Drake's Gold Hind, flattening him once again. He looks for a cover of his own now. 1.....2.
Cole: This match has been very back and forth! I think anyone could win!
JBL: With that last move, I think Crow has!
Craus kicks out. Crow looks down, uncaring, as he pulls the furry up once again, stepping back, then nodding, leaping up for a Booth's Dolphin, Craus however seeing it coming, catching Crow in mid move, then planting him with a High Angle Spinebuster! Crow rolls backward to his knees instantly, as he rises back up, Craus quickly charging off the ropes, nailing him as he comes back with a Yakuza kick, sending Crow flying hard into the turnbuckle! He grasps a bit more at the back as Craus steps back, charging in and delivering a series of shoulder tackles, driving Crow's back hard into the back of the post. Crow slumps down to the bottom, as Craus nods, delivering a facewash, scraping his boot viciously across his opponent's face. The furry then backs up, charging full speed for another kick, Crow however moving out of the way, as the gryphon crashes into the turnbuckle himself, stumbling back, right into a german suplex from Crow! He groans, as his opponent then reaches down, cradling the furry in his grip, hoisting him high, into planting him with a quick powerslam, dropping atop for the cover. 1....2..
JBL: This is what makes Crow dangerous. He never stops. You have to work twice as hard on him as you normally do... And you have to watch out for his moves. Or he will break you.
Cole: Just one of them is deadly enough! Imagine taking one of his finishers.
JBL: I don't have to, I can just look at his list of victims.
Craus kicks out. Ferhago looks down, walking over and grabbing the leg again, stomping at it, as the furry groans a bit, Ferhago then yanking it up, before slamming back hard into the mat with a falling leg smash! Craus grasps a bit at the leg, as Crow swiftly rises up, turning Craus around and applying a half boston crab on that leg, intent on doing further damage. Craus however quickly starts crawling over, clinching onto that bottom rope, forcing Crow to break the hold. He looks back, as Craus rubs that leg a bit, delivering a simply kick to it, sending him back down to his knees! He groans, as Crow yanks him away from the ropes, pulling him toward the center of the ring, now applying a Stretch Muffler, once again going after the leg. Craus twitches in pain at this move, as he starts trying to escape, Crow however keeping a tight grip.
Cole: This is something I've never seen from Crow before. Submissions.
JBL: Even the oldest dog has to learn new tricks when facing someone like Crauswell.
Eventually the furry manages to counter though, nailing a boot to the face with his free leg, as he drops down, slowly rising to his feet. Crow looks back over, just in time to receive a big boot from Craus's good leg. He goes down hard, as the furry rests a bit, then charges, leaping atop with a Lou Thez Press at the rising Crow, punching relentlessly at his face! Crow takes quite a few, before he pushes the furry off, rising again, only for Craus to charge back over, scooping him up and sending him sailing with an Exploder Suplex! Crow lands hard, as Craus stomps over, positioning himself, as he scoops him up in a wheelbarrow suplex, applying a standing a camel clutch of sorts, as Crow looks on in anger, but unable to do anything, as Craus breaks the hold, turning it into a sitout facebuster! He rolls Crow over, immediately going for the cover. 1....2...
Cole: This could do it! I think Craus has him!
JBL: This would be a first! I think that could be it!
Crow manages to kick out once again. Craus looks on in a bit of shock, as he slowly rises back up, rubbing his face a bit, as Craus hoists him up high for a brainbuster, Crow however countering, flailing his legs and turning the tables, taking Craus up into the Crow's Nest, driving him right into the mat! Craus grasps at his neck again, as Ferhago slowly nods, walking over and hopping atop the turnbuckle, then leaping off for the Frying Dutchman! Craus however quickly rolls out of the way in desperation, as Crow lands hard on his knees, looking even more angered, as he rises back up, only to get taken down in a leg lace by Craus, who leaps up, immediately slapping on a Dragon Sleeper! Crow starts trying to escape now, squirming around, but Craus will have none of it, as he yanks Ferhago up off the mat, looking for and launching him with his sleeper suplex! Crow however manages to land on his feet! As Craus turns around and charges, he gets laid out by a Lafitte's Pride, Crow immediately going for a cover soon after. 1.....2.....
Cole: Oh my! Did you see the way in which Craus bent? That can't be good!
JBL: It could be over!
NO! Craus manages to get the shoulder up. Crow looks down, as he seems ginger with his knees, definitely feeling the repercussions of that risk. Craus slowly starts to rise to his feet, as his opponent watches, grabbing him immediately as he rises, planting him with a Uranage Slam. He then grabs the legs once again, now applying a simple double Leglock, as he hooks the legs, dropping down over and over again, looking to try and snap Craus's ankles off! The furry gasps in pain, as he starts squirming about, as Crow continues applying pressure. The furry however manages to sit up, nailing Crow right in the gut with a fist, loosening the hold, as Crow hunches over again, the furry slipping free, as he grabs Crow from the waist, launching him with a release Dragon Suplex! Crow lands hard, as Craus looks down at him, dropping on a knee and rubbing at that already damaged leg, quickly rising back up, as Crow follows, the gryphon immediately unleashing a brutal lariat, sending Crow stumbling back against the ropes! He immediately charges, only for Crow to counter, dropping him onto the apron. Craus lands. as he starts standing, Crow immediately running over, leaping atop the turnbuckle, then off again with Kidd's Antiqua, only for Craus to catch him in mid flip, hoisting him high, then powerbombing him back inside the ring! Crow clutches further at the back now, as the furry nods, climbing atop the turnbuckle himself, then leaping off and Taking Flight! He connects driving his skull right into Crow's chest, as he immediately makes the cover. 1....2....
JBL: WHATAMATCH MICHAEL!
Cole: I can't imagine the match going much further than this!
JBL: I have a feeling these two would keep going long after 2009 if they had their way!
NO! Crow also manages to get a shoulder up. Craus looks down, shaking his head a bit, as he rubs at his hurting leg, before he tugs Ferhago up, slamming him back against the turnbuckle, then setting him up for the Hibernation Drop! However, before he can finish, Crow counters with a brutal kick to the side of the head, dazing his opponent, as he leaps off, snapping off and planting Craus with a Rackham's Revenge, the furry landing hard, as he groans, clutching further at his neck. Crow tugs him away, then drops down for a cover. 1....2.....3
Cole: Crow's taking no chances in this match!
JBL: And Crauswell is giving his all! The perfect match for the new year!
NO! Craus gets the shoulder up just in time. Crow looks down, even more angry, as he backs up, grabbing Craus by the arms, setting him up for Queen Anne's Revenge, only for Craus to counter quickly, backdropping him once again, as he groans, stumbling forward, clutching at the back again. He turns around, lunging out at Crow as he rises, grabbing him for a Beak Buster, Ferhago however slipping free, sending Craus off the ropes, as he goes for a Drop Toe Hold, Craus however leaping over Crow, then coming back and delivering a dropkick to the face! Crow clutches at it, rolling along the mat further, as Craus pants a bit, waiting for him to rise once more, then immediately looking for the Crossface Gryphon Wing! Crow however grabs him by the neck from behind, snapping him off, only for Craus to counter, looking for a Jawbreaker on the way down, Crow countering this as well, catching the furry in his grip, then hoisting him up on his shoulders, dropping him back down for a Queen's Suplex! He bridges for the pin. 1....2.....3
Cole: OH MY! Craus' neck snapped hurt there!
JBL: This could be over, Michael! I don't think I've ever seen someone take it this hard to Crow!
Cole: The same could be said for Crow against Crauswell!
STILL NO! Craus once again kicks out. He grasps further at the neck, as he pushes back to his feet, Crow following after, as Craus unleashes a quick knife edge across the chest, once again battering his opponent with these. Crow endures this assault, fighting back with some fists of his own, Craus eventually switching to simply punching as well, as the two swing back and forth, trying to bring the other down! Neither men will do so however, as they keep attacking relentlessly, each eager to prove they are the most dominant force of the EWT. Eventually Craus catches a fist, pulling Crow up above his shoulders, quickly applying a Torture Rack, as he tries to snap Crow into! He looks on, even more angry, as he starts trying to escape. Craus however has a tight grip, until he stops, leaping up and planting Crow hard with a Death Valley Driver! He immediately goes for the cover again. 1....2....3
JBL: GAME BALL, MAGGLE!
Cole: This just has to be it!
NO! Crow once again gets the shoulder up, refusing to stay down. Craus can't believe this, as he stomps the mat, clutching at the leg slightly, as he backs up, charging at the rising Crow for a lariat, Ferhago however countering with a quick kick to the gut, as he grabs him, then drives him down with Queen Anne's Revenge, the furry landing hard, as he gasps in pain, Crow panting a bit, as he drops down, making a cover. 1....2.....
3!
Cole: The match is over! The first match of the year is over! And Crow is the winner!
JBL: Craus put up a good fight against Crow but that Queen Anne's Revenge was just too deadly for his own good.
Ferhago Crow manages to defeat the Cidal Force.
Cole: And here's Howard for the official announcement.
Finkel: Here is your winner... Ferhago Crow!
Crow slowly sits up, glancing down at the furry, as he begins thinking to himself, then suddenly starts heading outside the ring. He then reaches underneath the ring, pulling out a very grisly weapon... a Cat O Nine Tails! The crowd looks on in horror, as the furry slowly rises to his feet, clutching his neck, completely unaware, as Ferhago slips back into the ring, snapping the weapon right across Craus's back! He gasps in pain, dropping down, as Crow snaps the weapon further and further, then grabbing and ripping the back of Craus's suit open, exposing his now bleeding back, as he yelps in pain, Crow continuing to whip and snap away, as he looks down with intense fury at Craus, whipping him harder and harder still. Eventually security storms the ring, Crow paying no mind, as he continues whipping away, before they start trying to pull him off. Just as they do, the lights go out, quickly coming back on, as the specter seems to have vanished completely.
Cole: I don't know what I just saw...
JBL: ...I do... Crow has been threatened by Crauswell... And now... He's made sure that Craus can't do him anymore harm.
Cole: That bastard!
JBL: Bite your tongue. Or you could be next.
Cole: What could this mean for EWT? What could this mean for Crauswell?
JBL: What could this mean 2008? Will it be the year of the Crow?
Crauswell meanwhile is clutching desperately as his brutally beaten back, as he tries to push up to his feet, but to no avail, as the crippling pain is too much. He growls in anger, as tears of pain drip down from the inside of his mask, as EMT's start storming the ring, checking to make sure he is still alive. Craus can do nothing, as his back seems to have been broken from the sheer force of this assault, as he lays flat on the mat still, the crowd looking on in horror, as we immediately fade to commercial.
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Tiffany
Mike the Goon
Don't ask me. I'm just a girl... aheheh, aheheh...
Posts: 39
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Post by Tiffany on Jan 1, 2008 12:17:45 GMT -5
*Bull Nakano waits in the ring as her music fades out to be replaced with...*
"It's Tiffany, bitch..."
*Britney Spears' "Gimme More" begins playing as Tiffany makes her way out. The crowd still shower the bimboid with boos. Despite her status as Liam O'Neill's "special friend", many still see her as the person responsible for side-lining Madison. Tiffany doesn't seem to care. She's as enthusiastic as ever to get in the ring, despite the legendarily brutal nature of her opponent.*
Toni "TG" Garcya: And introducing her opponent, from Los Angeles, California, weighing in at 118lbs... TIFFANYYYYYY!!!
*She skips on down to the ring waving to her... uuuhhh... fans; bit of bouncin' going on there. She has with her the same handbag that was used on Madison. The audience notice said bag as Tiffany raises her arms over her head before rolling into the ring, the fact she does so causes the boos to grow more vociferous. Tiffany is oblivoious to it all. Once inside the ring, she performs the splits infront of an unimpressed Bull Nakano. Tiff scales the turnbuckles, nearly slipping, & leans over exposing generous amounts of decolletage as she blows kisses to the audience, this act also draws her first cheers of the night as the horny fanboys give a cheer. In the front row a small child is seen tuggung his mother's sleeve & asking where babies come from...*
DING-DING!
*Before Tiffany can clumsily dismount the turnbuckle, Bull Nakano attacks from behind with a vicious German Suplex to the model-turned-wrestler. Throwing Tiffany right off the second rope & halfway across the ring. Nakano scrambles across & lays on top of Tiffany for a cover...*
1...
2...
3!!!
DING-DING-DING!
*Nakano's music starts playing & the fans give a monstorus cheer, showering her with streamers. Nakano raises a fist in the air as the fans cheer all the louder. Tiffany dazedly gets back to her feet then falls flat on her ass again. The fans chuckle at her ineptitude to even stand correctly. Nakano exits the ring as Tiffany struggles to get out from among the sea of streamers.*
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Sigma: Current SRW Champ!
Dennis Stamp
Writes about wrestling, does videos about game shows, helps transpeople, loves baseball etc.
Posts: 4,524
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Post by Sigma: Current SRW Champ! on Jan 1, 2008 13:55:15 GMT -5
*Sigma, with his ribs bandaged and a fresh scar on his forehead runs into Coach O’Hare backstage. Sigma, in his best suit and sunglasses sees the coach in his Team Ireland jacket and Hurley in hand. He proceeds with no caution.* Sigma: Hey, Coach. Coach O’Hare: (jolts and waves Hurley) What do you want you gobsheen?! Sigma: Easy there, O’Hare. I come in peace or pieces so to speak. Coach O’Hare: I don’t care if you’re in 1 or 1,000. Shane Malone beat you. You’re through. End of story. Get back in line and wait like the rest. Sigma: Ah ha. Yet, I still hold one very important trump card. I know you’ve been having problems with one Mahavir Abha and your former teammate Liam O’Neill. Coach O’Hare: Yeah, what does that have to do with you? Sigma: Well, pretty much everything. I have something that you would just love to acquire. And all I ask in return is a rematch against Shane Malone. Coach O’Hare: What can you offer me? *Sigma proceeds to pull out a tape labeled “Liam’s Secret Tape”.* Sigma: Would you be by chance perusing the catacombs of the coliseum for this piece of cinematography? *Coach O’Hare’s eyes widen and has a “Gimme, Gimme” look to them.* Coach O’Hare: Gimme, gimme, gimme! Sigma: Not so fast. I need you to sign this contract. It states that I get a title shot against Shane Malone at anytime that I so choose. Now, what do you find more important to your team at this moment? The discovery of Liam’s personal secret, or that precious Toolshed Championship? The choice is yours and yours alone. Coach O’Hare: Can I phone a friend? Sigma: Listen, you dunce. This isn’t "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?". Hell, this isn’t even "Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?" Because it’s becoming apparent that you don’t want either one to happen for you. So, I can just take this tape and dub over it with some classic World Cup Matches featuring Ireland getting pummeled 10-0 by Brazil and England. Coach O’Hare: Ok, Ok, Ok. Give me the contract. You got your return match. But be warned. You will fail like the last time. Sigma: Oh, don’t worry about that. I’ll be careful. *Coach O’Hare signs the contract and Sigma gleefully hands over the tape.* Sigma: There, I have what I want and you have what you want. Now if you excuse me, I need to train. *As Coach O’Hare darts off to the locker room where Shane Malone, Aidan Donnelly and “The Don Juan of Donegal” Sean McCann are waiting. With Sigma smiling so slyly, he walks by Mahavir Abha’s locker room and knocks on the door. Seconds later, Mahavir opens the door, wearing a shiny silver robe. Sweat drips from his face; a face currently flashing his trademark smile. Mahavir: HEEEEEY!!! It's Sigma! How things going? That guy with blue helmet and arm cannon still causing problems with you? Ha-Ha! I kid, I tease, I joke! A little video game reference there, yes? Mahavir likes the games! So does Jasmyne, but she's into those "sexy" games from Japan. You get Big Maha's drift, yes? Those games with the anime girls and the stripping and the... well, I'm sure you've heard of them. Anyway, speaking of Jasmyne and sexy, you are interrupting "sexy time" with Mahavir & Jasmyne. So, I ask you to leave kindly, yes? Yes? Yes? Yes... take care now, friend. Mahavir goes to close the door, but Sigma holds it from closing and glares at Mahavir through his blue sunglasses. Sigma: Quiet! I don’t care about “Sexy Time”, or your gigantic slut of a girlfriend. What I do care about is the donation. I just got Team Ireland off your back for the time being. Mahavir: Okay, first off: Jasmyne is not a gigantic slut... well, yes she is, actually. Very observant of you, friend. Secondly, I thank you for taking care of Coach Butch Cassidy and his Sundance Kids for me and Liam. Mahavir looks over his shoulder, looking inside his dressing room. Mahavir: Did you hear that, Liam!? Liam: (off-screen in the dressing room) Aye, great news! Sigma: Wait, Liam is in there? Mahavir: (to Sigma, nodding) Yes. Sigma: With you and Jasmyne? Mahavir: Yes. Sigma: During... "Sexy time"? Mahavir: Yes... wait... HA-HA! You think Liam is partaking in time of sexiness, yes? You jumping conclusions. Mahavir & Jasmyne are showing Liam how to have sexy time. He has good shot with Tiffany. Mahavir wants Liam to knock her socks off. Sigma: So... he's watching you? Mahavir: Watching? HA-HA! Liam's such a good student, he's taking notes. (to Liam) How are those notes coming, Liam? Liam: (off screen) Uhh... I still don't get the importance of including the camel... or why it has to wear an afro. Mahavir: Don't worry, Mahavir will explain in a minute. He chuckles to himself while shaking his head before looking back at Sigma. Mahavir: Rookies, yes? Sigma: Enough, you Bollywood Bonehead. Pay up. Mahavir: Ah, a man of impatience, Mahavir likes that. He likes patient people who have no problem waiting, but that not important now. Well, how can Mahavir repay Sigma? Money? Maybe a role in a Indian commercial. You be perfect for Sanjay "Big & Tall Store with Big & Tall Clothing for Big & Tall People". Sounds intriguing yes? Sigma: I got a better idea. Just write me a check. Mahavir: Well, Mahavir tried. I'll see what I can do. Suddenly, there's a loud roar coming from inside Mahavir's dressing room. Liam: Umm... Mahavir, the Grizzly Bear looks like he doesn't want to play the violin anymore. Mahavir: Damn! He hasn't gotten to his solo yet! Hang on, Mahavir's coming! (turns to Sigma) Got to go, nice talking to you. Mahavir closes the dressing room door as a bewildered Sigma departs while mouthing the words "Grizzly Bear?" in disgust. *Meanwhile, the Team Ireland locker room is abuzz with celebration as Coach O’Hare is showing the rest of Team Ireland the acquisition of Liam’s tape.* Team Ireland: [singing badly] FOR HE’S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW, FOR HE’S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW, FOR HE’S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW…WHICH NOBODY CAN DENY! Coach O’Hare: Well, the tape is ready. Sean, get the lights. This will be really good. Sean McCann: Yes, much like that time in Belfast where I plucked 4 birds at the same time. Coach O’Hare: (whaps Sean) Shut up and stop thinking with your dick for a change! This is the stuff that we need to get Liam straight. Aidan: You don’t think that Liam’s gay? Is that what’s on this tape? Liam and Mahavir sleeping together? Coach O’Hare: (slaps Aidan) Enough! Mahavir sleeps with Jasmyne, yet she sleeps with everybody. Sean: Then why haven’t I had her yet? Coach O’Hare: Ugh, let’s just play the tape. *Coach O’Hare plays the tape.* Aidan: Now why is it set up in a bar? Coach O’Hare: I don’t know. But what’s that bird doing there? *After a few minutes they see Sean McCann approaching a woman there.* Aidan: Sean, look at the screen. It's that guy you are! Sean [on tape]: Bartender, I'll have a Fuzzy Navel & she'll have the girliest drink you serve. Bartender [on tape]: Two Fuzzy Navels comin' up. *The tape cuts forward a few minutes* Sean [on tape]: Here, love... Wanna find out why they call me "The Don Juan of Donegal"? Woman [on tape]: Why not, you are one sexy piece of the blarney stone. Sean [on tape]: Heeheehee. This is easier than I thought. *A few more minutes into the tape it shows Sean and the woman in a hotel room and are in bed together after about 2-3 minutes of love making.* Sean [on tape]: That was magnificent. You were wonderful. Woman [on tape]: Yeah, but you never saw my front side. Sean [on tape]: I didn’t see that side? Well show me then. *The woman turns around and Sean discovers that the woman was infact a man.* Sean [on tape]: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! A MAN??? *Sean then bolts from the hotel room without his clothing. The tape ends abruptly & the screen goes static* *Cut back to the Team Ireland locker-room. The team are all looking at Sean whose mouth is agape.* Coach O’Hare: WHAT!!!! WHY DID I GIVE THAT TREACHEROUS GUY A TITLE SHOT? Aidan: Who did you give that title shot to? It must be Mahavir. He’s the only one that could have had access to that tape? Coach O’Hare: (somberly) It wasn’t. Sean: (angrily) Then WHO? Coach O’Hare: (silently) Sigma. Sean: WHO? ?!!!!! Coach O’Hare: I got that tape from Sigma in exchange for a title match. *Shane Malone is nearly foaming at the mouth, he lets forth a monstrous gutteral roar & tears the door from one of the lockers in the room!* Sean: Easy, Shane. He might not even have that title shot for long. Coach, I want that man for this embarrassment that he’s caused me in front of these people. Coach O’Hare: Fine, you got it. Get out there and get back your manhood! Aidan: [smarkishly] You’re not going to sleep with him, like you did that man, aren’t ya? Sean: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! (Runs out of the locker room) Coach O’Hare: (Yelling at Sean) DON’T PULL ANY PUNCHES WITH THIS MAN, GIVE HIM ALL YOU GOT!!!!
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Post by Motley Kruton on Jan 1, 2008 20:34:40 GMT -5
Kruton makes his way down to the ring in a flannel shirt, ala Mick Foley, and black tights, with a red checker pattern down the side like a stripe, and he appears to be smiling. Theme music and video is still abscent. The fans are silent. He grabs a microphone and says;
"I apologize for the way I acted last week. Such an esteemed superstar shouldn't act such a way. I was just itching for some competition, and now that I finally have some, it shouldn't be a problem anymore. Please bring out my competitor." He then takes off his shirt.
Hardcore Holly's music hits and Kruton's face appears to darken. When he gets to the ring, Kruton speaks once more;
"Are you kidding me? Me, an international superstar, going against a hick from Alabama who doesn't even know how to spell Superstar? I'll beat this simpleton in less than a minute."
With that, the bell rings, and Holly charges at Kruton. He ducks out of the way however, and grabs Holly by the shoulder and spins him around. Kruton grabs his waist, and flips him back for a northern lights suplex. He stays bridged up, then flips back, still keeping his grip on Hardcore, and then does another suplex, then another one. On the third one, he keeps his bridge and pins Holly. He then leaves to backstage and we cut to commercial.
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Post by The Puzzle Maker on Jan 2, 2008 1:05:49 GMT -5
Two.
The reversal of fortunes. The two miss each other without having met. The tendency to be cynical lies within us all. The tendency to be conceited lies within most. The tendency to be calculated lies within some. The tendency to be perfectly imperfect lies within one. Tendencies are sometimes flaws. Flaws are sometimes positives. Once you see things in inverted colors You realize that positives are really negatives. Negatives are beautiful. We are all beautiful. Ask yourself questions. Answer them truthfully. To tell the truth, you must first understand lies. I've been lying to you from the beginning. Of course you know who I am. You can't ignore the essence of hatred and enlightenment. You only hate what you don't understand. Being human, you don't understand most. Most have the tendency to be conceited. You don't understand conceit. Neither does He. Do you love yourself because you know that others don't? Answer truthfully. I won't tell the truth for you.
I am but a liar. I am. I am. I am.
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Post by Koda, Master Crunchyroller on Jan 3, 2008 1:49:39 GMT -5
The lights in the arena quickly turn off, showering the arena in pitch black darkness. Suddenly, the Toomitron turns on.
Voice: They've been missing for a while now.....
Images of Joe Bher and Koda Kazar flash on the screen.
Voice: ....but now they're back!
More images and clips of the tag team flash on screen.
Voice: They'll be making their in ring return in ONE WEEK....
The screen fades out and the lights come back on as the crowd goes wild.
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Post by teamireland on Jan 3, 2008 19:00:44 GMT -5
*The noise of sirens blaring echoes throughout the EWT Arena as the Steiner Brothers appear on the ramp. Rick & Scott are attacked from behind by Aidan Donnelly & Sean McCann. Team Ireland are in a foul mood following Sean's humiliation at the hands of Sigma "G.Q." Williams & they are taking it out on the Steiners. Sean dropkicks a chair into the kidneys of "Big Poppa Pump" sending the former WCW Champion to his knees. Aidan clubs "The Dog-Faced Gremlin" in the back of the head with a Hurley borrowed from Coach O'Hare. The Steiners attempt to fight back, but Aidan & Sean have youth & the advantage of surprise on their side. Sean drags Scott back up to his feet & tries to whip the Genetic Freak towards the ring. The Big Bad Booty Daddy reverses it & sends "The Don Juan of Donegal" running towards the ring instead. At the same time, Rick whips Aidan in the direction of the ring. As both Team Ireland members hit the ring apron, they are met by dual clotheslines from Rick & Scott. The Steiners roll the brash young Irishmen into the ring & Scott rolls in afterwards, getting right next to Sean & doing his trademark press-ups, while talking trash to McCann.*
DING-DING!
*McCann begins to get back to his feet again & is met with an Irish Whip towards the ropes. Scott follows up with a Steiner-Line. As Sean lies ont he mat, Steiner kisses his bicep & drops an elbow right on Sean's sternum. Scott allows Sean no time to recover & promptly whips him towards the corner where Rick stands waiting to be tagged in. Scott makes the tag to Rick & the "Dog-Faced Gremlin" wastes little time, quickly tossing Sean overhead with a Belly-to-Belly Suplex. Sean is nearly thrown clear across the ring. He begins crawling towards his own corner, but Rick grabs a hold of Sean's left foot. Sean pushes himself back to a standing position, facing Rick. Sean goes for an Enzuguiri on Rick, but Rick ducks the move & manages to nab Sean for a German Suplex. Before he can send Sean sailing overhead, McCann nails him with a Mule Kick, just out of view of the ref. Steiner falls to the mat clutching his billiards & Sean leaps to make a tag to Aidan.*
*Aidan immediately goes to work on Rick, nailing him with a series of European Uppercuts.He whips Steiner off to the ropes & catches him on the rebound with a swiftly executed Overhead Belly-to-Belly Suplex. Rick is almost immediately back on his feet, but Aidan is already running towards him, hitting him squre in the chest with a Dropkick that nearly knocks the elder Steiner out of the ring. Rick hits the ropes softly & Aidan catches him with a Drop Toe Hold. As soon as Rick falls, Aidan scrambles to clamp on a Side Headlock. However, once he does so, Rick begins to get back to his feet. He forces Aidan off into the ropes. Aidan rebounds as Steiner telegraphs a Back Body Drop. Aidan stops just infront of Rick & stiffly kicks him in the face. Steiner reels back & Aidan takes him over with a perfect Suplex, he swivles his hips to get back to his feet, maintaining his grip on Rick, then performs another Suplex, he swivels his hips to get back to a standing position again & drills Rick with a Brainbuster, completing the "Triqueta". Aidan goes for a cover...*
1...
2...
KICKOUT!
*Rick gets back to his feet a little dazed. Aidan is somewhat tired from hefting Rick around for the Triqueta. Before Aidan can react, Rick whips him towards the Steiner's corner & tags in Scott. Scott immediately clamps a Bearhug on Donnelly & slams him with a Spinning Belly-to Belly.*
*Aidan bounces back up to his feet, but nearly immediately falls face first to the mat again. Scott signals that the end of the match is nigh & locks Aidan in the Steiner Recliner. Aidan's air is being cut off by the power of Scott Steiner & he seems moments away from passing out. But Sean enters the ring & dropkicks Steiner in the back. Steiner releases the hold on Aidan & gives chase to Sean. Sean nimbly scales a turnbuckle, looking to take Steiner down with some high-flying move, but Scott demonstrates remarkable speed & manages to clock Sean in the face before he can do whatever he was planning. Scott climbs up to the top & it looks like he's about to hit a Frankensteiner when Aidan approaches from behind & manages to pick Steiner up in an Electric Chair Drop position. Sean turns himself around on the top rope & Team Ireland successfully hit "The Electric Bread Slicer". Rick Steiner tries to enter the ring, but Sean cuts him off with a Headscissor Takedown as Aidan covers "Freakzilla".*
1...
2...
3!!!
*"I'm Shipping Up To Boston" starts playing, but before it can get much further into the song, Sean McCann grabs a mic from "TG".*
Sean: SIGMA! To paraphrase the great Bill Goldberg: "YOU'RE NEXT!"
*Sean slams the mic to the mat as he & Aidan angrily storm to the back!*
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Post by brokenrose on Jan 3, 2008 20:17:42 GMT -5
*Flick to backstage of the EWT Arena, the camera sees Marcus Trunk standing by the catered table for the wrestlers & staff. He grabs a sandwich and goes to lift it to his mouth when he sees someone quickly approaching him. He returns the sandwich back to it's plate and stands stern to meet the individual. The camera pulls back to reveal OX Division Champion, BR Juri Sadamoto.*
Trunk: ...
Juri: ...
*They both look at each other with very serious looks upon their faces. Suddenly the two pound fists. Juri is the first to break the silence.*
Juri: ...Synthy may be my first choice for a partner... But having faced you before, I know that there's nobody better to have my back than you.
Trunk: I never thought I'd find myself in a tag team again, but I can't argue with teaming up with the OX Division Champion.
Juri: See you at the House Party, partner.
Trunk: See you in the final two, partner.
*Juri turns and walks away as Trunk turns back to his sandwich.*
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Post by Hensley on Jan 4, 2008 23:06:31 GMT -5
We cut backstage to Hardcore Hensley. He's shown pacing back and forth inside his room, with the camera following his every motion.
Hensley: Jason Jupiter, a young stud from the West coast. He's got technical prowess the likes few have ever seen, an attitude that's backed with action, and most importantly...
Hensley stops moving, and the shot zooms in on his face.
Hensley: He's struck gold.
Hensley returns to his previous manner.
Hensley: You see Jupiter, I've done a lot of reading up on you, and I can't say I'm not impressed. You're a multi-time title holder here in EWT, and you've got one of the better finishing maneuvers that many have failed to master. You know every grapple there is, every hold. Hell, I've watched you perform moves I've never even witnessed before! And do you know what really makes those performances stick out to me, Jupiter?
Hensley halts, grabbing a hold of the camera, and pulls it towards himself.
Hensley: You don't do it like I do...
He releases his grip yet again then continues his walking.
Hensley: You see, what I mean by that, is that when I go out there, in front of the EWT fans, I'm looking to do the most daredevil thing possible. I wanna go out in this EWT Arena, and set it place ablaze! You, on the other hand, do so with your skill. You don't go and jump off the highest balcony you can climb. No, you beat your opponents with your talent, and that's something I can respect...
He waves his hand, telling the cameraman to follow him as he opens a nearby door. He walks over to a desk in the corner of it, and takes a photo album out of it. He skims through it's content then steals the camera away from the man. He closes it in on several certain pictures.
Hensley: You may notice that all these have similar traits.
The camera reveals all of the material to be shots of Hensley following some sort of attack. They stretch from his youth days, all the way to Season's Beatings. He points at one on the very top.
Hensley: Right here, this is from back in my more youthful days. I couldn't label it down for you to be truthful, but this appears to be one of my more gruesome encounters.
The photo shows a younger Hensley with blood stains ranging from his nose to the bottom of his chin. One of his eyes appears to be heavily swelled, while the other has a deep cut in between it and his brow. Hensley backs out then points towards the end of the page.
Hensley: This would be not two weeks ago...
We see the exact photos from EWT.com from their post match coverage of Hensley/Trunk. Hensley bears a crimson mask, his face is noticeably slashed from the barbwire, and small parts of his goatee can even be seen as to have been ripped out from it. A few bad burns along his cheeks are there too. He shuts the book, and tosses the camera back to the man.
Hensley: What I'm getting at Jupiter, is that Sunday, I want you to do your thing, while I do my thing. You watch my back, I'll watch yours because it ain't gonna do us any good fighting everyone else by our lonesome. After we toss all their asses out then we can get to know each other a little bit better, if you know what I'm saying.
Hensley gives the screen a wink before covering the lenses with his hand. We fade back into the EWT Arena with thousands of rabid fans clapping it up. Promos for WHOA, and the Season's Beatings IV DVD follow up.
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Spyke the Pacers Fan
El Dandy
Still hates himself for missing the last episode of Murder She Wrote
Go Indiana!
Posts: 8,061
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Post by Spyke the Pacers Fan on Jan 5, 2008 1:55:13 GMT -5
*We cut backstage to the entrance to the locker room area, where we see Crash Johannson enter through the doors.*
Crash: *to himself* Finally. My no compete clause is up and I can actually start bringing the pain to these EWT losers.
*In the background the camera picks up OX Division Champion, BR Juri Sadamoto talking with one of the nameless trainers.*
Crash: Oh. Juri Sadamoto. Time to work that ol' Johannson charm... which skipped a generation with Spyke. *checks breath, confidently strides over* Why hello there, chickie-poo.
Juri: *She rolls her eyes at the line then turns to confusion* ...who are you?
Crash: Why... every knows who I am! I'm Crash Johannson: SUPER STUD!
Juri: *Snort* Sure, buddy. So... You're related to Spyke, I take it? How's he doing? I haven't talked to him in awhile.
*Crash simply stares blankly at Juri* Spyke? Spyke who? I don't know any Spyke.
Juri: Alright then. *She turns back to the trainer*
Crash: Whoa, whoa, whoa there. I didn't come over here to talk about whats-his-name. I came over here to talk about you n' me.
Juri: Well, I'll spare you the awkwardness... There is nothing to talk about.
Crash: Well played, Miss BR. You may think you can hold out now, but there is no possible way you'll be able to resist down the road.
Juri *Dry and through almost closed eyes* I'll try to hold back my desires.
Crash: Thatagirl. Usually I have to pry them off with a crowbar. But you're not easy. I like that about you.
Juri: Do I have a sign on my back that says "She's loose"? Because this is getting annoying at this point.
Crash: You must be thinking 'Oh Crash, even though you're a big hunka man, why do I always attract a holes?' Well, Juri, the diffrence between me and those other guys is... well, I can't say this on camera, kids might be watching. *whispers something, most likely dirty into Juri's ear*
Juri: *O.O* *She throws a fist at his jaw.*
Crash: OW! The hell? *Crash stumbles backwards and onto his ass*
Juri: ...That's for being gross. If you excuse me, I must being going now.
Crash: *still on his ass, rubbing his face, watching Juri walk away* Ohh, my sweet, sweet Broken Rose. One day. One day I will so have that. *freezes, comes to some kind of realization.* Crap! The floor is sticky! Who's gum is this! I'M CRASH JOHANNSON, DAMMIT! YOU DON'T THROW YOUR GUM IN PLACES WHERE I MIGHT ACCIDENTALLY SIT! *pauses* ...DAMMIT! *walks away and fade to commercial/next segment*
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Curly Long
AC Slater
Midget Wrestling Master
Posts: 234
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Post by Curly Long on Jan 5, 2008 11:02:02 GMT -5
*In another section of the hallway we find Mr. Big sitting down chewing gum. He is going over some last minute stretches before his next match. Sum Guy approaches microphone ready*
SUM GUY: Hello everyone I'm Sum Guy and I hope to get back in the loop after an abysmal 2007!
*Big looks up and shakes his head*
SUM GUY: Mr. Big ... I ...
*Big holds out his hand stopping Sum Guys chatter*
MR. BIG: Hold it there Sum, let's drop the mister, as a new contender to the solo wrestling scene people need to know me for who I am. I may be the largest athlete in the EWT but that doesn't stop me from being friendly.
SUM GUY: So what are ...
MR. BIG: I'm saying that Samuel Big is here to stay Sum. I'm here to dominate and gain some prestige for myself. No longer am I going to be drawn into the seedy underbelly or obscene violence that EWT has shown me in the past. No what I will be doing is going for singles gold and to get it I intend on beating my opponents out there in that ring.
*Samuel Big taps a poster on the wall next to them, it is promoting Toom E's House Party IV*
SAMUEL BIG: I hear at the House Party a new EWT Tri-State champion will be crowned.
SUM GUY: That's correct ...
SAMUEL BIG: Well no matter who it is that wins, I want to make it known that I should be the number one contender for a shot at that title. After beating and bloodying that fat blubberball of obsceneity known as The Bad Man I think I'm entitled me to a Tri-State title shot.
SUM GUY: Speaking of seedy and obscene what of your tag team partner in crime Curly Long?
SAMUEL BIG: Curly Long is taking time out from the EWT, but don't worry that Main Event Midget won't be far away. No doubt he will come back with more fanfare than a King Kong crossed with a Steven Spielberg blockbuster!
SUM GUY: Well Big, we also recently have heard that a new giant is coming to EWT, by the name of Gigantor Maximus. Your thoughts?
*Big stands up from his seat, towering over Sum Guy but reamins smart in his shirt and tie as he picks up his casual jacket.*
SAMUEL BIG: If this guy wants to make a name for himself then I say let him come and show us. EWT is the place for the smallest and the biggest ...
*Just then the flamboyant dancing man known as Alex Wright walks past. He pauses gives Sum Guy and Big a dance and then wanders on backstage*
SAMUEL BIG: ... and certainly the freaks. But he should know that if you cross paths with Big on his way to singles gold then it won't matter if he's a 10ft tall or an obese ogre only that I will consider him a giant fool!
*Samuel Big walks away, his point made. sum Ugy watches as we fade out*
(fade out)
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Post by teamireland on Jan 5, 2008 13:41:05 GMT -5
BACKSTAGE- EWT ARENA
*Marisol Kaneshall stands outside the Team Ireland locker-room with Coach O'Hare & the rest of the team assembled.*
Marisol: I'm standing by here with Team Israel to get their reactions to their various team-mates at the upcoming S-Club Party Post-Per-View. Mr. Coachman are all your guys aware of who they're supposed to team with this Sunday?
O'Hare: No, love. We didn't actually check yet. Yeh woudn't happen to know would yeh?
*Marisol pulls a folded up sheet of paper from inside her bra. Sean can't stop staring & O'Hare nearly has a heart attack.*
Marisol: Here's Toom E's list here. You guys are probably somewhere on it.
*O'Hare snatches the list from Marisol's hands. His eyes darting all over the sheet searching for the names of his charges.*
O'Hare: Sean... You're teaming with Maelstrom!
Sean: Maelstrom? The former EWT Tri-State & World Heavyweight Champion? This one's practically in the bag for me, lads.
Aidan: Sean, remember you have to beat HIM as well...
*Sean goes very quiet...*
Sean: Ah, crap...
O'Hare: Aidan, you have to team with the man from Cash Mountain, the Killionaire, Richard Clay.
Aidan: F***in' Minipax! Actually, he & I could work well together as a team. Our styles would mesh well together. Me & that lad could have this one covered. When we get down to the final two, don't be surprised to see that Tri-State Title become the 32-Counties Title.
O'Hare: That's it, lad. Doesn't matter which of yous gets down to the last two, we're taking ANOTHER belt home!
Aidan: Eeeh, Coach, you forgot to read out Shane's partner.
O'Hare: Oh, aye. Here... Shane is teaming with...
...
...
...
SIGMA?!
*At the very mention of Sigma's name, Shane is nearly ready to tear the locker-room door off it's hinges. He slams his fist into the plaster wall, leaving a hole!*
O'Hare: THIS HAS TO BE A MISTAKE! MARISSA, TELL ME THIS IS A MISTAKE!
Marisol: But the draw's random, he could have just as easily wound up being paired with Cindy Eris as with Sigma!
O'Hare: But the fact is, love, he DID wind up with Sigma! And the match is tomorrow. No time to get Toom E. to do this again! S***e! Shane, tomorrow, your primary objective is not to get the Tri-State Title, forget that. Leave that for these other lads. All you need to do is beat the crap out of Sigma! Lads, if you're in the ring when Sigma shows up, you pound on him too! We'll make that bastard sorry he ever f***ed with Team Ireland!
Aidan: Coach, what are we gonna do about Shane's Toolshed Title? Doesn't the Bad Man still have that?
O'Hare: Don't you worry. I've got a plan for getting that belt back. After Shane has his match with Meng, we'll deal with the Bad Man... Sigma, Bad Man, Clay & Maelstrom will all learn the hard way, that... what?
All but Shane: YOU WILL NEVER BEAT THE IRISH!
*Cut to a promo for WHOA's "Champions & Challengers: The Musical"*
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TJT
AC Slater
It's fun to be perfect.
Posts: 109
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Post by TJT on Jan 5, 2008 14:51:53 GMT -5
*Fading into the EWT arena, EWT World Tag Team Champions Jimmy Thunder and Jason Jupiter—and manager Terina, between them—are walking in the halls backstage…*
Thunder: So…I have Mahavir Abha as my partner for the Battle Royal!
Jupiter: I like the guy, and I’ve seen some of his work, but I don’t know how he could possibly compliment you! A crazy Indian man as a partner? Seriously, how is that supposed to really be a compliment to your skills?! Well, at least you guys will have charisma that puts 2.0 to shame.
Thunder: Maybe that woman of his can give me a…morale boost…before the match. *He suddenly switches to a very serious, technical voice* That kind of drive may JUST be what I need to win!
Jupiter: Meanwhile…I have Hardcore Hensley. Well the guy seems to be no-nonsense, and he’s not one of those types that tries to start trouble for no good reason.
Terina: Yeah, he seems okay to me. Same with Abha though, at least you didn’t get The Bad Man as a partner.
Jupiter: I’d fear for my life!
Terina: Hehe. Yeah, you’re lucky. Or maybe, judging by Hensley…maybe you aren’t…
*Reaching an intersection in the corridors, Thunder, Jupiter and Terina spy Chance Confidence, as well-dressed as ever, standing by a stack of crates, pondering away and seeming quite disenchanted.*
Thunder: What's eating him?
Terina: You didn't hear? *whispering* Ratings will be temporarily leaving EWT.
Thunder: I did, but I didn't think that it would bother him as much as this.
Jupiter: Maybe it isn't…I'm investigating…
*The three walk up to him; as he turns around he notices the trio standing at him, their eyes scanning away at him as they silently stare. He stares back, before breaking the silence suddenly.*
Chance: *seeming to ignore them* Bah... blasted water demon, scaring Ratings off like that. Plus that sea hag's gone, so now I bet he'll come straight after me. Oh gee, what fun that'll be... trying to fend off that fish hugging creep. I mean, c'mon, I already did it once before, I don't want to deal with that guy again... oh, yes, it's you fellows and fellowettes again. What can I do you for?
Terina: Oh hi Chance, we were just walking by, thinking about that Battle Royal at House Party, and thought we'd say hello since we were passing you...
Jupiter: But, after doing that, we couldn't help but notice your plight. Maelstrom coming back on the rampage, eh?
Chance: Eh, don't worry about that whale, I can handle him. I'll kick him so hard in the blow hole, he won't know what hit his oversized arse!
Thunder: You sure? You think that without Oceanic with him, he'll be under control? I'm no genius, but even I know he'll be a lot tougher to deal with...
Chance: Don't worry kid, I have plenty of tricks up my sleeve... and cash of course. To be honest, I'm more curious why you lot are talking to me. Something you want to ask?
*The three of TJT all look at each other in unison, each thinking of what might be the same thing. Whatever that is that three young aristocrats think of. They turn back to look at Chance.*
Terina: Well yes, actually. We did have something in mind to ask you...something you may be extremely interested in...
Chance turns around, lowering the green tinted pair of shades from over his eyes, as he nods, gazing over at the trio.
Chance; Oh really... I see. I'm feeling quite generous, so since it's you folks, I'm willing to listen.
Thunder: Well, you're going to have to huddle with us on this one...speaking out loud would spoil it for this Earth!
Chance: Hmmm, huddling. Sure, why not? As it long as it's not for warmth... I don't swing that way.
Jupiter: Warmth? What are we, monkeys?
Terina: We can't be. I've never seen a monkey drink a jug of bourbon and sing "Get Down Tonight."
Jupiter: Hey, I was held up at gunpoint!
Terina: Yeah, sure, whatever.
*The four adjoin into a group, before Jason pops his head out.*
Jupiter: And turn the volume on that damn thing down!
*he puts his head back in, and the conversation begins* *The four remain in their group of four for roughly a minute and a half, then seperate in perfect synchronization*
Chance: Alright then, that sounds like a plan to me. Just remember though, I never saw you... and tell that lackey, Mack of yours to stop trying to get to acknowledge him as equals to you... NEVER GONNA HAPPEN.
*Crashing can be heard as someone stumbles through the halls with a "WHOAWHOAWHOOOOOOOA!" reverberating about. As he steps out, covered in bruises, Jack looks at the four.*
Jack: That's JACK Jupiter to you, Mr. Competence! Er...Continence...er...Continents....I mean...I think it was...Compliments???
Chance: *no selling* Yeah, I see you Zack.
Jack: JACK! J-A-C-K! JUPITER!
*Terina begins to look at Jack, noticing the bruises--possibly taken from crashing about--all over him.*
Jack: YOU LIKE?!
Terina: I guess, if I also like being stabbed with a flaming knife in my va---er, heheheh...well I was going to ask, it would seem you got those bruises after a meet-and-greet with your Battle Royal partner, Synthy Eris?
Jack: My Battle Royal partner is Synthy Eris?! *He begins to crash back through whence he came, Terina, Jimmy and Jason--but not Chance, who doesn't seem to care--wincing at the sickening sounds of metal objects smacking flesh and concrete.*
HERE I COME, PARTNER! YOU SHALL BE LIBERATED, BY YOUR REEEEEEAL SAVIOR!
*As his voice trails off, TJT look back at Chance.*
Thunder: heh.
Jupiter: Just no help for him.
Chance: I'm just glad he left. I was afraid his mediocrity was going to infect my pure perfect self.
Thunder: Yeah well, we're immune.
Chance: You'd have to be to remain as good as you are, with that parasite swarming over you.
Terina: Well don't worry, in another month, you won't mind him...I think. Anyways, we need to go.
Thunder: I got people to do, places to see...
Jupiter: I need a drink...
Chance: Alright. I'll contact my chum while you do that. Perhaps we'll see each other again...
Jupiter: Only...in a platinum state...
Chance: Indeed!
*The young man sits back down and pulls out a cell phone, gold, with jewel encrusted buttons on it, as he leans back against the wall, dialing a number on it as the three walk away from him. Just as he connects, the camera fades out.*
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Sigma: Current SRW Champ!
Dennis Stamp
Writes about wrestling, does videos about game shows, helps transpeople, loves baseball etc.
Posts: 4,524
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Post by Sigma: Current SRW Champ! on Jan 5, 2008 16:00:49 GMT -5
Sigma logs on to his computer and goes to the EWT webpage. It's there that he finds out the lineup for House Party.
Sigma: Ok, let's see who will be teaming up with who.
Sigma peruses the website and finds the lineup. He then sees his name.
Sigma: Ah, there I am. And I'm teaming up with.......
Sigma then sees his name next to Shane Malone.
Sigma: And the power of randomization proves to be a fatality. So, I'm supposed to deal with him and win the Tri-State Title. Knowing full well I gotta be weary of Sean McCann and Aiden Donnely also. Lord knows that the simpleton of a coach would have his squadron blitzkreig me at first glance.
Sigma then sips some wine from his glass.
Sigma: Well, those mental giants will have to be cautious as well and heed the warning that if I go, Shane goes as well. Let's just say that I foresee that Minipax and Maelstrom will not bow down to those two clowns. I don't care about this match. Just beware Shane Malone. You're better off not messing with me in this match, if you want to see your chances at a 2nd belt stick.
Sigma then sees an interview with Marisol and Team Ireland.
Sigma: Ah, the cartoons are on. Maybe I can get some chuckles and amusement out of this.
Sigma then sees O'Hare tell his boys to go after him and not worry about Shane's shot or the Tri-State Title.
Sigma: Well, that's how they want to proceed in this endeavor. Fine by me. If they want to duke it out, then that's what will happen. Blood will be pouring by the buckets, and it will most likely be colored Green, White and Orange. May the Irish fall.
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Post by The Bad Man on Jan 5, 2008 16:10:48 GMT -5
*Meanwhile in another part of the building, we find a large Bad Man hunched over a chair in a corner his back to us*
BAD MAN: Mine .. flhehe ... Mine, mine mine ... Fleheh ... I wanted it, and I took it from them ... flheh ....
*The camera pans around to find The Bad Man leaning forward, his mounds of flesh almost hiding the stolen EWT Toolshed title in his arms. He brings it closer to his face smelling the title, his eyes darting back and forth madness in control*
BAD MAN: I'll keep it! ... Forever!! ... fleheh ...
*He begins to lick the title as if it was some perverse pleasure! Suddenly a backstage gopher rushes into the room, The Bad Man turns and sneers, interrupted. The man panics and drops some paper before running away.*
GOPHER: Message for you!!
*The Bad Man gets up, leaving the Toolshed title on the chair and picks the piece of paper frm the floor, he reads it though bloodshot eyes. He pauses and crunches up the paper in his hand before returning to his chair and the Toolshed title stolen at Season's beatings. From under one of his flabby rolls of fat he pulls out a magazine cutting. It is a photo of all the EWT titles, his pudgy finger running down the page stopping at the Tri-State title*
BAD MAN: Flehhe ... I will take this one too!!! .. Fleheh .... I must get this Indigo to know what's bad .. flehe!!! Fleeheh .... bad for me!! ... fleheh
*The chair struggling with the weight breaks and The Bad Man goes down with it. He still remains in a sitting position on the floor, his eyes never moving from the photo, his hands never moving from the Toolshed Title*
BAD MAN: Fleheh!!! Got to collect them all! ... Flehe ... GOT TO COLLECT THEM ALL!!! Flheh! Flheh! ... Collect them all!! Flheh!!!
*The camera backs away slowly from the mad mound of human obesity and cruelty*
(Fade out)
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,390
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Jan 5, 2008 19:55:23 GMT -5
We cut to backstage where Rated X are in the hallways, seemingly focused on an important conversation.
Chad: Dude, Megatron would so kick Optimus Prime's ass!!
A really important conversation.
Mike: Dude, Bumblebee could take Megatron down. No way Megatron could stand up to Optimus.
Really important.
Chad: Please. If it wasn't for Witwicky, Megatron would have used Optimus Prime's ass as a cooking grill!!
Really.
Mike: Oh yeah? Well, Optimu-
Marcus: Guys, you know that the teams have been announced for the Tri-State Gauntlet-type series at the PPV tomorow.
Chad: What?
Mike: What Tri-State Gauntlet-type thing?
Marcus: Sigh, Ghostface was stripped of his Tri-State title for no-showing, so Toom E. decided to have 20 people from the roster team up in groups of two and have 5 tag team matches. The winners of those matches would go on to a Battle Royal where the last person standing would be crowned as the new Tri-State Champion.
Chad: So, the title I fought for a year and a half ago in the first ever Megadeth match is up for grabs?
Marcus: Yeah.
Mike: Bitchin'. So, who do I team up with?
Marcus: Well, funny story actually. Even though the pairings were completly random, you and Chad are on the same team.
Chad: No s***?
Marcus: No s***.
Mike: Well, then we better start preparing if the match is tomorrow. Gentlemen, come with me. I have.... an idea.
Mike starts to walk away as Marcus looks over at Chad.
Marcus: Something bad is going to happen.
Chad: Yes, yes it will. C'mon.
Chad and Marcus start to follow Mike as we cut to a commercial hyping Toomi's House Party IV.
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Post by barbedwireharry on Jan 5, 2008 20:18:49 GMT -5
*Two indy jobbers are grappling in the ring when suddenly Barbedwire Harry rushes from the crowd with a large wooden paddle and slides into the ring. He nails Jobber 1 in the abdomen and strikes Jobber 2 with blow to the head. He takes turn going back and forth nailing the jobbers with the paddle. Once he is done he picks up a mic*
BWH: I don't think I have to introduce myself...
*Cricket chirps*
BWH: You remember me don't you? Barbedwire Harry?
*Crowd just stares confused*
BWH: Come on! I was in Hardcore Revolution with Mike Ragnal....
*No response*
BWH: I feuded with Curtrok! That was a big deal!
*Crowd begins to go use bathroom*
BWH: FINE! For those of you who don't remember my name is Barbedwire Harry Knox! I have been gone for almost two years, lurking in the shadows. I have returned to EWT to claim my rightful title as the Extreme Czar. And to all of you who plan to stop me on my rise to the top..well..you're gonna have to answer to my sweet lady *raises paddle* Norma Jean!
*Throws down the mic and exits through the crowd as security rushes down to the ring. The crowd lets out a slight pop as Harry turns around and raises the paddle*
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Post by barbedwireharry on Jan 5, 2008 20:40:06 GMT -5
*Todd Grisham is standing backstage drinking coffee when all of a sudden he is nailed with a paddle. The camera pans to Harry walking by in a fowl mood*
BWH: How can they not remember me!? I'm Barbedwire Harry Knox, dammit!
*fade*
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TJT
AC Slater
It's fun to be perfect.
Posts: 109
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Post by TJT on Jan 5, 2008 21:13:15 GMT -5
*EWT ARENA – BACKSTAGE*
*Just moments after exchanging pleasantries with Chance Confidence, TJT—the trio of Jimmy Thunder, Jason Jupiter & Terina—are seen walking down the hallway, conversing over their meeting with Elite Perfection member. As they round the corner, they almost run right into Mahavir Abha & Jasmyne, the former being Thunder’s partner this Sunday at the House Party. In his usual loud and jubilant personality, Mahavir startles the group of three with his greeting.*
Mahavir: HE----------Y!!! It’s you guys! JTT!
Thunder: 'EEEEEYYYYYYYY!
Jupiter: Hey, and we're TJT. NOT JTT! Although, having my name first wouldn't be too shabby.
Mahavir: Ha-ha! Mahavir apologizes. He too excited for to team up with your partner at Toomi's House Party! You excited too, yes? Yes? Yes? Yes? ...Yes?
Thunder: Damn right I am!
Terina: Yeah, you're definately better than some of those guys out there...
Mahavir: Ah, female member of TJT is correct. By the way, have you met Jasmyne yet? She big fan of you. Right, Jasmyne?
Jasmyne: *licking her lips, seductively* Mmm-hmm.
Thunder: Fans? Of us? Awesome!
Mahavir: No, just Terina! Still awesome, yes?
*Thunder and Jupiter both suddenly find themselves sullen by this revelation.*
Terina: Well, I guess. I do have a lot of female fans, go figure.
*Jasmyne approaches Terina and extends her hand towards, offering a handshake*
Terina: Yeah, nice to meet you.
*She extends her hand, grasping that of Jasmyne and shaking. However, Jasmyne pulls Terina in close to her; so close that they are practically nose-to-nose. With a sultry grin, Jasmyne gives Terina a wink.*
Terina: Uh...huh.
*She gives an awkward smile while Mahavir, Thunder & Jupiter look on*
Mahavir: *grinning* Yes, Jasmyne is pleased to meet you, too. *He turns to Thunder* Anyways, Jiminy; Mahavir is looking forward to being your partner tomorrow night. Got good feeling on victory. You too, yes?
Thunder: Well uh...I guess. You know any double team moves?
Mahavir: Double team moves? Ha-ha! You are in luck, Jiminy! Mahavir knows plenty of double team moves! Come sexy time, Jasmyne and Mahavir are unstoppable when it comes to "double team" maneuvers, if you get Big Maha's drift, yes?
Thunder: Damn right! But uh, how about in the wrestling ring?
Mahavir: In... the... wrestling ring? *eyes widen in shock * Jiminy! You have sick mind! That ring is for wrestling, not for Mahavir and Jasmyne's "Sexy time"! You crazy! The thought of it is crazy... and intriguing... but crazy nonetheless!
Thunder: WHUH?!
Terina: No no no no no...that's not what he means, Mahavir!
Jupiter: Here. *He reaches into empty space, pulling out a video tape.* Take this.
Mahavir: What's this? Oh... Mahavir ESP's you. Big Maha know what you are thinking. Want to make a dirty tape with Mahavir & Jasmyne. Get huge publicity, yes? Like Hilton girl named after a little town in France, yes? You in big luck, Jasmyne star in many dirty tapes back home in India! You going to enjoy it!
Jupiter: Maybe a tape of her would be nice--
Thunder: Yeah, really!
Jupiter: --but this is a tape of wrestling moves! Ya see, the double team we're talking about isn't sexual at all...but uh...yeah, take this, and watch. It features a number of teams performing the basics!
*He hands the tape to Mahavir, who looks down at the tape, confused; until the proverbial light bulb goes on*
Mahavir: Ahh... Mahavir gets what JJ is saying. But really, honestly, fortunately, truly, madly, deeply, Mahavir knows what to do. Worked with Liam, I have, we great tag team together. Maha's got your back... just like Jasmyne has Terina's back, right Jasmyne?
*Camera pans back to Jasmyne and Terina, with Jasmyne eying up Terina's backside in approval.*
Jasmyne: Mmm-hmm.
Terina: Well, nice to hear that, but I don't need a--wait! What were you doing?!
*As Terina turns to look over her shoulder, Jasmyne quickly looks the other way, whistling a Bollywood ditty*
Mahavir: *To Thunder* The point is, Jimity, Mahavir will do his part in the match as long as you do yours. Then, we compete for Tri-State title! And after that... WE DANCE!!!
Thunder: THIS IS THE TIME ON SPRO--
Jupiter: Maybe, if you help get Jim...or myself...to the end, I can give you a VIP pass to the number of clubs my family owns. No second-rate places though. Only the best.
Mahavir: *looks at Jupiter* Hmm... tempting, intriguing, interesting. ...Uhh... Who are you again?
Jupiter: Jason Jupiter.
Mahavir: Ah, you are one of my opponents this Sunday! Mahavir says you take your overrated clubs and shove it! Where you shove it is entirely up to you. Ah, Mahavir kids; he jokes, he pokes fun; harmless fun, yes? Yes. Anyway, Jiminy, can Mahavir trust you?
Thunder: Uh yeah, I guess. I can't think of a reason why I would try to do anything but help you.
Mahavir: Good.
*Mahavir extends his hand to Thunder, offering a handshake. Thunder shakes hands with him, a smile of commitment on his face.*
Mahavir: See you Sunday.
Thunder: Yeah, see ya Mahavir!
Jupiter: Uh-huh, bye.
*Thunder & Jupiter begin to walk away. Terina nods to Mahavir and Jasmyne and turns to catch up with her teammates. Jasmyne takes the opportunity to give Terina a farewell slap on the ass, startling the female member of TJT. As they distance themselves beyond talking distance, she gets between the two...*
Terina: Did you see that? She just slapped my butt!
Jupiter: Oh really?
*With his closer hand to her, he delivers a slap to her in the rear as well*
Terina: *giggling* Stop that!
Jupiter: I guess she just really, really likes you.
Thunder: Or thinks you scored a game winning touchdown!
*With his closer hand to her, he delivers a slap to her in the rear too!*
Terina: *still giggling* Oh really now, stop it!
*She slaps him on the arm*
Thunder: In the words of Scott Steiner...Owwwwwww!
Terina: But anywa--
Jupiter: Speak of the devil.
Terina: *She smirks* Anyways, I wonder if Jack has found Synthy yet...
*As the trio walk down the hallway and off into the distance, Mahavir & Jasmyne watch them depart; Jasmyne keeping a good eye on Terina's "goods" as she walks away. With his trademark grin, Mahavir leans in on Jasmyne.*
Mahavir: You like what you see, yes?
Jasmyne: Mmm-hmm.
*FADE OUT*
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TJT
AC Slater
It's fun to be perfect.
Posts: 109
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Post by TJT on Jan 5, 2008 21:13:55 GMT -5
*Crashing about, Jack Jupiter, bruised as before, stumbles through the hallways with alarming speed, tripping over nearly any and all objects imaginable.*
Jack: Gotta find her, gotta find her...GOTTA FIND HER! HERE I COME! JACK JUPITER IS ON THE WAY!
*As he reaches the hall containing her locker room, he trips and falls over, faceplanting and recovering as he looks to his left, seeing someone, hands on their hips, looking down at him. Synthy's right eyebrow is raised high. Her clear amethyst eyes are staring at him from over a pair of sunglasses. Her hair is pulled back beneath into a ponytail, beneath her newest Fedora. Her look is one of impatience.*
Synthy: I'm guesisng you've realized just how lousy that computer is when creating tag teams, huh?
*Rubbing the side of his head, Jack reties his hair back, looking up at her as he stumbles upwards, nearly crashing into her as he does.*
Jack: What? I think it worked great!
*Synthy has her hands now against Jack's chest, keeping him as far away from stumbling into her as possible. She takes a deep breath, and shakes her head before crossing her arms over her chest.*
Synthy: Of course you do. Can you offer me an explanation as to why you were running so fast to find me? It's not like we were in dire need of seeing each other at this particular moment.
Jack: Well, that Battle Royal is taking place soon, and we need to discuss a strategy! And uh....well....um...ya see....heh....er....
Synthy: Brutality and bloodletting isn't a strategy? News to me…are you choking? Spit it out, Jack.
Jack: Uh...I thought that may-bery, it would just be nice to have a meet and greet.
*Synthy hands go back to her hips, tapping one hand. She tilts her head and stares at Jack for a moment or four, before leaning in and staring at his face.* Synthy: A meet and greet. Re-eally now. Since when have you actually thought anything out? And what's your -real- plan?
Jack: I'm the REAL Jack Jupiter, so naturally, this IS my -real- plan.
Synthy: So what were you before? A dummy? After all, if you are the 'Real' Jack Jupiter now, then there must have been a faux, fake, ersatz you before, right?
Jack: Well you see, there is a guy who's the FAKE Jack Jupiter. He looks like me, sorta, but he's always real cynical and pissed off. And not related to me in any way.
Synthy: So he chooses to be a fake version of...you. Damn. How sad. Anyway, did you have any idea for a 'strategy' or did you plan on rambling toward me all day? Not to sound unfriendly, but let's be honest. We aren't exactly, uh, buddies.
Jack: Well, talking about that in public would give away our plans.
*Synthy simply sends a look to the caterers, various wrestlers, and the make up dude that have filled half of the hallway.*
Synthy: Right.
Jack: What, you don't think that the caterers, various wrestlers, and the make up dude that have filled half of the hallway would eavesdrop?
Synthy: Considering you're the one they'd be eavesdropping on, probably not.
Jack: But uh...believe me! After all, I AM the REAL Jack Jupiter!
Synthy: So I understand from the emphasizing. Hell, I can almost imagine you having a Caps Lock on if you were typing.
Jack: What's that? I just hold the shift button.
Synthy: I officially have no words for this conversation.
*She pops her neck, and stretches.*
Synthy: Must we stand still? I am not the stay neutral type. Besides, I'm pretty sure we could work better for this..'strategy meet and greet' if we had some sort of adrenaline flow.
Jack: Well uh...what floats your boat? Want to go get something to eat and discuss this over dinner?
Synthy: I don't do dinner with dudes.
…
Damnit. I really did just say that, didn't I?
Jack: Oh yeah. Yeah you did.
*Synthy sighs, and shakes her head.*
Synthy: Welcome to the after effects of spending a week with Juri in Japan. Jack, you tell what I jsut said to anyone outside of this hallway, and I will personally insure the 'Fake' Jack is the only one still able to walk.
*The camera pans over to a blonde man, similar looking to Jack, standing by the side of the wall with his arms folded, smoking a cigarette with a passive sneer on his face.*
Fake Jack: Yeah...cool, whaaaaatever.
*Synth slowly turns her body to look at him.*
Synthy: Or not. I'm cool with inflicting as much damage as possible.
Fake Jack: Meh.
*He pulls himself off the wall, walking away with his hands in his pockets.*
Synthy: So much for having charisma. Lacking personality, much?
*She turns her head toward the REAL Jack.*
Synthy: Are we going after coffee or what? Since I seemingly have to resign myself to working with you, I'm going to try to make it as comfortable as possible for myself. Which means caffeination.
Jack: That sounds pretty good...thought you might want to eat or somethin'...
Synthy: Ate already. Thank goodness, because otherwise this may have been misconstrued as a date.
Jack: Oh okay, coffee it is. I actually have this funky set of coffee machines in my locker room...oh, come to think of it, I left my notepad with ideas for the match there too. Let's go!
*Synthy cracks her knuckles, inducing a few cringes from any lookers-on, as she has a pair of those metal fingers on either of her middle digits. She scratches the side of her face with the more familiar-looking one.*
Synthy: try anything, and I will skin you alive. Otherwise, we're cool. I'm not even going to ask why you have a -pair- of coffee machines in your room.
Jack: For different coffees, of course! Now I'll take point, be sure to follow!
*Synthy takes a step, but before another can be commenced upon, an Avenged Sevenfold tune can be heard filtering out from a leather pocket. She holds up a finger to Jack, and swiftly places the device to her ear.*
Syn: Ello?
Terina: Hey. So, did Jack find you yet?
Synthy: Ah, Psychic 'Rina. Indeed he has. Why?
Terina: Glad I called then. Yeah, I called to give you my phone number...unless your phone is uber old, you'll have gotten my cell number to show up on yours to look at. If Jack decides to uh...go a bridge too far, you could say...call me. DON'T HURT HIM! Jimmy and Jason will "escort" him away if he does.
Synthy: Aw, damnit. You know it's hard for me to kill off my urge to hurt someone when they go too far.... However, since I find the idea of Jimmy and Jason carting him out rather humorous, ... I'll try to keep my temper under wraps. Unless he goes... way.. too far. Know what I mean?
Terina: *laughing* Yeah, I'm all like "Please!" when he goes too far, but I haven't had to hurt him yet. But yeah. Let us know. Those two will seriously do anything I tell them...
*Thunder and Jupiter, in the background: YEAH!*
Terina: And I'll do what you need me to, so like, you see what I'm saying?
I really have to expect one of us to go 'capiche' at some point. We sort of sound like like 40's mobsters. But yeah, I'll call you if he begins to be too much trouble, I suppose.
Terina: Okay! Well, I'll talk to ya later, then. Bye!
Synthy: Peace, chicky.
*She closes the cell and gives a look toward Jack who seems to be twiddling his thumbs.*
Synthy: Shall we commence, then?
Jack: Whuh me? SURE! Let's go!
You should see my Zebra cubes.
Synthy: Your Zebra...what?
Jack: Zebra cubes! Big pillows shaped like cubes and patterened like zebras, in all the colors of the spectrum!
Synthy: And you have them in your locker room...why?
Jack: A man has got to have his hobbies.
Synthy: Your's happens to be collecting zebra-print pillows. ... And you're my tag partner for a pretty big event.
*Synthy slaps her hand to her forehead, cringing a tiny bit as the metal scraps into a bruise.*
Jack: They're soft and fuzzy! What's not to like? OH. I see.
Synthy: Yep. Well, hell, I guess it could be worse. At least you don't collect pug ears or something.
Jack: Yeah, I'm not as bad as you think! Unless you want me to be..."Bad bad."
Synthy: No. Don't even use that terminalogy again.
Jack: Okay! Okay, have it your way! I'm like BK, I let you have it your way...uh yeah.
Synthy: Burger King's mascot is a bonafide freak of nature.
*Jack hurriedly struts down the hall, crashing into random objects*
*Synthy walks behind him, apparentally cursing her luck and trying desparately to keep her irritation at bay. She rolls her shoulders, and follows, narrowly avoiding the chaos he causes with his crashing.*
*Fade...OUT!*
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