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Post by The Puzzle Maker on Jan 6, 2008 0:00:31 GMT -5
Three.
Who am I? Only I know the truth. One day we all must fall down. Whether our pockets be full of posies, or shells. Now is the time to pay attention. Listen to me. I will not hurt you. I am here for the enlightenment that so many seek. Alas, those who do not trust do not seek. Those who do not know do not trust. You must seek to know. But a liar I have been accused of. A false prophet and omen of carnage and agonizing death. Maybe so, to those left in the darkness. The cold, cold darkness. Had those not been so fearful of my darkness, those would have been enlightened. With this enlightenment comes protection. Knowledge. Hope. If you think of me as your leader, I will not fail you. If you think of me as your enemy, I will be the worst foe you have ever encountered. But, alas, this all comes back to inquiring and seeking knowledge for yourself. If you'd like to know who I am, simply ask me. Simply hope that telling you the truth fits into my final effort to heal you. Simply take the initiative to uncover your own information. Only I know the truth.
I am but a simple paradox. I am. I am. I am.
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Maelstrom
AC Slater
The Tide Will Turn!
Posts: 236
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Post by Maelstrom on Jan 6, 2008 10:00:23 GMT -5
*As the Puzzle Maker video fades out, we find Maelstrom is at ringside. He clearly came to the ring during the video and has a look of confusion on his face from watching it.*MAELSTROM: Ok bud ... I don't know who you are, what you are but seeing as you got my attention ... I'll ask ... Who are you Puzzle Maker? *Maelstrom doesn't get a reply and is about to speak when.This happens! (Please watch it adds to the match)*As Juventud dressed in Pink? bounds about the ring Maelstrom stands in the middle wondering where in the hell all these luchadores and scantily clad girls came from. Meanwhile barely in earshot after the unending spanish announcer a ringbell can be heard the match is on!!*All the luchadores attack Maelstrom as the scantily Clad girls do one final twirl before leaving the ring. A vocal Maelstrom chant can be heard as Juventud barks instructions from the 2nd rope. The luchadores back off to find Maelstrom on his knees but still moving, he slowly gets up. Juventud signals and leaps! SPANISH ANNOUNCER: *Lots of spanish* .. Hurricanrana!! Ohhh .. *More Spanish!* Maelstrom is not as beaten as one thought though and catches Juventud on his hsoulders and powerbombs him into the mat! On cue the lucadores attack but Maelstrom is ready and lays them out with punches, with big boots, with chokeslams and with spinebusters! *The crowd goes nuts*Maelstrom has cleared the ring, his hair wet from his exertions as he looks at Juventud get up. Juventud turns and throws a punch but Malestrom easily blocks it and then nails Juventud with a headbutt before hitting him with a Whirlpool! 1,2,3. *Bell Rings*SPANISH ANNOUNCER: Winner is Maelstrom!!! *Maelstrom throws Juventud over the top rope and out of the ring and picks up the disgarded microphone.*MAELSTROM: In only a few short days a House Party will happen! A House Party where gold is on the line and new friends maybe made. *He pauses*MAELSTROM: The ocean current swirls and churns to my tune and my tune only. Ratings found out what that tune sounds like and soon 19 other men will be made aware of that sound too. *The crowd repsonds with cheers, Maelstrom nods and continues*MAELSTROM: Sean McCann! I don't know you, but you should know this about me! In this Battle Royal I will look out for you, I will make sure you remain in that ring by any means necessary. But once it gets down to just me and you then there will be no friendship, partnership or respect. Just you and me one on one for a title that means so much in this business ... *The crowd continues to cheer*MAELSTROM: You may discuss with your Irish comrades in the pub what does Maelstrom a former EWT Heavyweight Champion want with the Tri-State Title? Surely he is beyond that belt? *Maelstrom takes a serious tone*MAELSTROM: I tell you here and now that a Champion is always a Champion. It doesn't matter what people think a belt represents, it is what the people think of the man who carries it! When I take the Tri-State Title for a 3rd time people will see a true champion with gold around his waist again. They will see this and ask the question ... *The crowd gives Maelstrom time to speak*MAELSTROM: How long? How long does the Heavyweight Champion have left? *The crowd roars with approval*MAELSTROM: So Sean McCann, I know I can beat the Irish! ... and that is because my fighting friend ... MAELSTROM: THE TIDE WILL TURN!! *Maelstrom flings the microphone away as 'Apocalypse Please' plays. His intentions have been made clear tonight!*
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Ass Dan
King Koopa
Curious about extra lines
Have you seen me?
Posts: 12,259
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Post by Ass Dan on Jan 6, 2008 15:11:32 GMT -5
'Testify' hits the speakers as the audience boos, knowing who is coming. When they see who he's with, they boo harder.
Announcer: The following match is schedualed for one fall. Introducing first, Jay Leno, and the EWT World Heavyweight Champion, Joe One!
Leno does his usual antics, slapping hands with the audience, as One walks per usual to the ring.
Announcer: And their opponents, wieghing in at a combined total of 480 lbs., Hollywood Hogan, and Eric Bischoff!
The audience gives a mixed reaction to the odd duo. Leno and One enter the ring and both sides make gestures to the other team. The referee calls for the bell.
*ding ding ding*
Immediatly, Joe One drops out of the ring and starts to walk to the back. Jay Leno is in shock, seeing his partner walk out on him. Bischoff, seeing the opportunity, gets Hogan as the legal man. Hogan taps Leno on the shoulder. Leno turns around, gets Irish Whiped, and eats a big boot. Leg drop, yada yada yada.
*ding ding ding*
Announcer: Here are your winners, Hollywood Hogan, and Eric Bischoff!
The nWo theme plays as the winners pose in the ring. A cameraman gets a shot of the retreating One, who appears to say 'You want a title shot, Maelstorm? You have it.' before pushing the cameraman aside as he walks behind the curtain.
*HOUSE PARTY IV PREVIEW*
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Post by chanceconfidence on Jan 6, 2008 17:05:36 GMT -5
We cut to the ring, as Scott Norton and Buff Bagwell are standing by, both of them looking absolutely ready for their match, as they pace around the ring a bit, looking at each other and nodding, as the bell sounds, signaling this next match.
Announcer: The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, at a combined weight of 600 pounds, Scott Norton and Buff Bagwell, Vicious and Delicious!
The crowd gives quite a conway pop to these two, as they look at each other, then looking towards the entranceway, as Gus Gus's Gun hits the Toomitron, as the crowd boos, anticipating the return of the hated Elite Perfection, only for something different to happen. Instead, Chance walks out, accompanied by a very unfamiliar looking individual. He steps back, as this monstrous looking being walks over, clad in what looks like a silver tuxedo, with a simple white undershirt. He also wears what looks like a ruby bow tie on that shirt, as well as a mouthless silver mask, with two "P" shaped eyeholes cut out, revealing this beast's evil eyes. On the forehead of this mask, the initial's "P.P." can be made out, as he stomps down towards the ring, Chance meanwhile wearing his usual ring attire, as he smirks, adjusting a headset microphone.
Chance: Alright... hold it right there. Don't you DARE stain your lips with the glorious words that are my name you hack! Simply stand back and let me... do the honors. Introducing their opponents... currently from London England, he weighs in at a wonderous 217 pounds, he is the magnificent Chance Confidence! And his tag team partner... making his EWT debut of course, in lieu of my partner's sabatical absence, standing in at a staggering 6'6, weighing 375 pounds of pure perfection, he hails from Diamond City, Arkansas, I give you... the Platinum Punisher!
The crowd looks on in mystery, at this so called "Platinum Punisher" who starts stomping down towards the ring, as Chance sneers, following in suit, the Punisher stepping over the ropes, simply standing, as Chance flips over his head flawlessly, walking cockily over towards the turnbuckle, hopping atop, into a perfect handstand, before hopping back down, walking over to the Punisher, spreading his arms, as the Punisher quickly removes his robe, folding it neatly and setting it outside, as Chance pats him on the head, then walks over towards his corner of the ring, commanding the Punisher start things off apparently. Scott Norton starts for his own side, as he looks at this Punisher, who doesn't even remove the sunglasses over his masked eyeholes, as he cracks his knuckles, stomping forwards.
The two men lock up, only for Punisher to yank Norton right into a short arm lariat, sending him down. He startts stomping vicious at his head, before yanking him back up, pulling him right into a powerslam, before jumping atop, starting to punch the everloving crap out of him, as Norton tries to protect himself. The Punisher climbs off, tagging in Chance, who vaults into the ring, as Punisher grabs Norton from behind in a waistlock, Chance nailing a jumping back heel kick right to the face, Norton grasping the area in pain. Chance grins, then hits a few more quick kicks to his face, as Punisher simply shoves him forward, Chance taking him right into a Downward Spiral! He gets back up, tagging the Punisher back in, who immediately heads towards the ropes, coming back and delivering a body splash, crushing Norton Beneath! He gasps, as the Punisher tugs him away from the ropes, making a cover. 1....2....
Norton manages to kick out. Punisher simply grabs him by the head, yanking him up and unleashign and quick flurry of fists, rocking him with each one, as Punisher rears back, unleashing a nasty standing lariat, sending Norton crashing to the mat. He groans, as the Punisher backs up, stomping the mat, as he waits, then charges as Norton rises, leveling him with a spear! Norton goes flat, as Punisher then runs over, knocking Bagwell off the apron with a mighty boot! He goes flying, head crashing into the barricade, as Punisher stomps back over, tagging Chance back in, who smirks, hopping atop the turnbuckle, then quickly snapping off the Confidence Booster! He connects, driving the air out of Norton, as Punisher slips outside, the referee making the count. 1.....2......
3!
Chance and this Punish have defeated Vicious and Delicious.
Announcer: Here are your winners... Chance Confidence....
Chance walks over and shoves the announce aside, snapping his fingers, as the Punisher reaches and grabs a headset, tossing it into the ring, which his apparent employer catches, putting it on.
Chance: Your winners of the match... as if you doubted it, Chance Confidence and his newest insurance policy... the Platinum Punisher!
The Punisher simply picks up Bagwell on the outside, tossing him into the ring, as Confidence looks over, nodding in approval. He steps over, grabbing Bagwell as he rises, then simply snaps off a Confidence Breaker, laying the poor guy out flat. He then signals to the Punisher, who quickly ascends the turnbuckle, then leaping off with a Moonsault, doing even more damage as he crashes into Buff, driving the air right out of him. The crowd boos, as Punisher simply rises up, pushing him out of the ring with a boot, as Chance flashes a thumbs up, before walking back to the center of the ring.
Chance: Ladies and gentlemen... actually, that's not appropriate for you louts. Swine and sows, stop obsessing over your own shit and listen to these words. Tonight was the beginning of a new era in the EWT. You see, I've been thinking these past few weeks and I realized something... I have quite a few annoying enemies. Some of them still wanting my blood. I wouldn't blame them, after all, I'm quite the catch. Obviously everyone wants a piece of the hottest prospect in the history of the EWT. Hell, I'm surprised I wasn't mobbed by my fanbase on the way out to the ring. You see though, it's high time I stopped sitting on my arse and started doing something of true importance. I've been letting all these little so called "stars" of the EWT run around the place like they own it. Miserable little peasants... they have no right to do that. Only I have the right to control this flea bitten industry, I've just lacked the motivation... till now. I just saw the glorious title, that I won in my first few months of competition, snatched up by a damn extra from some Bollywood flop! The Toolshed title is being held by some idiotic mute, who can't do damn thing without that ringleader of his snapping that whip. Hell... the Ox Division belt... is being held by a damn woman! You see, I've grown sick and tired of this little regime... and I am going to do something about it!
Chance looks around in annoyance at the crowd, as they boo angrily. He then motions over to his newest ally.
Chance: That's why he's here. This unstanding young chap used to be a miserable bum, who I found on the side of a road, begging for beer or somethin. I saw this chap and saw potential... potential for him to be at least equal to a fourth of my greatness, so I helped the guy out. I gave him a new spiffy wardrobe, as you can clearly see, I gave him all the training he needs to be a no nonsense, ruthless, and unstoppable little behemoth, as you just saw, and I also housebroke him. Yeah, THAT was the toughest part, believe you me. Now though, that i've done all this, my flunky here is all but ready to help me conquer the EWT... but oh, don't think he's the only one that I have backing me... because you see, I also have another little plan that will help me ascend to the top of the EWT for once... over that damn cult leader or whatever he is. Rest assured, when the time comes, you will all be bowing to my glorious self and you will all be just jealous!!!
Gus Gus's Gun starts up once more, as the crowd boos, Chance grinning as he hops back out of the ring, his Punisher following behind, quite emotionless as ever, as this new group makes their way to the back, Norton and Bagwell both still writhing in pain, as we fade to commercial.
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Post by Hensley on Jan 6, 2008 17:19:16 GMT -5
We go to Sum Guy in the parking lot, he's in hot pursuit of Hardcore Hensley.
Sum Guy: Hensley, Hensley, may we have a word with you?
Hensley stops abruptly, and turns to the much smaller individual with a distasteful look on his face.
Hensley: What do you want?
Sum Guy takes a moment to catch his breath then proceeds to practically demand his death.
Sum Guy: What are your thoughts on what just went down here at House Party IV?
Hensley's pupils disappear, and his eyes grow bigger than his head.
Hensley: You know what know what I think?
Sum Guy nods, and Hensley grabs him by the collar of his shirt, lifting him up into the air, his nostrils flaring.
Hensley: YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT I THINK?!
Sum Guy almost drops his microphone as Hensley slams him up against a nearby tractor trailer.
Sum Guy: Hensley please, you put up a helluva performance, but you just seem to have fell short.
Hensley rams the interviewer's head up against the side of the vehicle.
Hensley: SHUT UP! DID YOU HEAR ME?! SHUT YOUR MOUTH!
At the moment, Hensley seems to snap himself out of his rage. He shakes his head, and glances at Sum Guy. He tosses him to his side, and puts his hands over his head. He asks himself what's wrong then begins yelling out randomly. He rants on with Sum Guy simply staring in shock. He continues for another minute before punching a massive dent into the truck. He huffs and puffs as Sum Guy remains in utter disbelief.
Hensley: That's it, I'm done.
Hensley looks over towards him again.
Hensley: I need to go.
He starts to move away.
Sum Guy: Where are you going?
Those words halt him dead in his tracks.
Hensley: I don't know.
Hensley heads towards the exit, and vanishes in the shadows, leaving everyone pondering what has just taken place.
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Post by Gigantor Maximus on Jan 7, 2008 15:47:59 GMT -5
* "China White" by The Scorpions begins playing & the Toomitron goes black as white letters followed by black & white images flash across it...* EWT has been home to many a big man... Flex Magnificent... Ogre... Mr. Big... "The Celtic Giant" Shane Malone... The Canceler... The Bad Man... Voltigeur... Generic Hoss... ... But all these men are over-shadowed by one individual! GIGANTOR MAXIMUS!!! ...Coming Soon...
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Curly Long
AC Slater
Midget Wrestling Master
Posts: 234
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Post by Curly Long on Jan 8, 2008 13:38:14 GMT -5
*We go backstage to find the worlds largest cake being wheeled into the building, the staff members push it along as some other EWT superstars watch or carry on with there normal business. Next to the cake is Curly Long who is dressed up in a fine attire looking pretty pleased with himself. The cake continues along the corridor only stopping so Curly Long can usher The Bad Man away with the promise of some later. Eventually it comes to a halt right outside Toomi's Office. Sum Guy who catches up to get the low down ... *D'LO: Hey that's my cue!!! CURLY LONG: Get out of here!! D'LO: What'cha gonna do about it? *Shakes head from side to side like only he can*CURLY LONG: This! *Curly Long pulls out a taser and stuns D'Lo in the chest! He flops to the floor out of sight*D'LO: If only I still had my chest protector!! Owww *Sum Guy steps over in incapacitated D'Lo Brown with a microphone in hand*SUM GUY: Sum Guy here and I hope I didn't leave the oven on! (Off-Screen Voice): Hey where's all this smoke coming from? SUM GUY: *Whistles innocently* ... So Curly Long I'm glad your back! .. Is this for? *Curly Long covers the microphone so we can't hear Sum Guy*CURLY LONG (Quietly): Hey ... don't ruin the suprise ... and no this isn't my big come back moment, this is just something special for the most hardworking man in EWT today! *A passer by, possibly a fan or a techie adds to the conversation*PASSERBY: You talking about Andy Duke? *Curly Long puts his foot out and the man tumbles into the various boxes that decorate the hallway*CURLY LONG: No I'm not talking about my opponent this week or indeed any wrestler on the match board. No this Cake is for a birthday! SUM GUY: Mine? CURLY LONG: .. Er ... is it your Birthday today? *Sum Guy gazes up aat the ceiling as if thinking about a long lost love, Curly follows the gaze looking for whatever it is Sum is not looking at*SUM GUY: I wish I knew Curly, you see when I was a kid I was adop ... *Curly boots Sum Guy out of the picture*CURLY: Okay, no need for your life story. If I wanted someone to tell me unending crap I'd ask the strippers to tell me there troubles instead of tellling them to take my $10 ... *Curly walks around the cake checking a few things here and there, he then sneaks on tip-toes up to the door and knocks loudly, before running away very quickly*VOICE: Yes? ... Come in!! ..... I SAID COME IN!!! .... oh for (incoherent talking) *The door opens and the EWT owner Toom E appears. He looks around until his eyes settle on the giant cake on a trolley that is right outside.*TOOM E: Oh .... *Suddenly Curly Long rushes back into screen along with Mr. Big and Maelstrom who isn't really sure if he should be there. Also some other EWT Superstars and the Girls Next Door appear in the background.*CURLY LONG (Plus other less than super keen voices): HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! *The Cake explodes open and some dodgy dance number comes from some speakers and out from the cake jumps ...
Doink and Dink the Clown!!!
Toom E cautiously breathes a sigh of relief and looks at Curly Long, who can't belive what has come out of the cake. He dials a number on his phone as nearby wrestlers laugh*CURLY LONG: Hi ... erm ... I asked for a ... yes that's right ... no ... I got a Children's Clown entertainer ... yes ... a mix up? ... you do know what was in my ... you don't ... you might want to check ... ... ... ok you can stop screaming, ok I ... *Curly clicks the phone down ending the call*(Cuts to ouside a house) *The house has ballons on the door, clearly some sort of children's party is going on here ... some fun children's music starts ... ... ... ... ... SCREAMS! ... (pause) ... Even more Screams, followed by mothers and children running out of the house disgusted or mortified*(Cut back to outside the Hallway) *Back outside the office in EWT and everyone is having a good time, wrestlers are tucking into Cake, Jelly and Ice Cream. The rest of the wrestlers shout out Happy Birthday one more time to Toom E. Whilst Curly Long hurls his mobile into a waste bin as it continues to ring, before walking away shaking his head.*CURLY: It was supposed to be a two strippers with big ti ... *Suddenly! A loud siren is heard all around the building and a voice over the intercom can be heard saying*VOICE: WARNING FIRE! WARNING FIRE ... THIS IS NOT A DRILL THERE IS A FIRE! ... *Then the sprinkers turn on! ... Everyone looks at Sum Guy*SUM GUY: Oh, The Oven! ... *Everyone now drenched rushes out of the hallway and probably out of the building. Maelstrom grabs Sum Guy by the back of the shirt taking him with them. The Cake is now soggy and the area empty, as the sprinklers end the Bad Man walks into view. Seeing the cake he pauses, before diving head first into the immense sugar laden desert. He pulls out the plastic message from his teeth and read's it.*BAD MAN: Flehe ... Happy ... Birthday! ... Flheh .. *sound of gorging on cake* (Cut to promo for Maelstrom T-Shirts on sale now!)
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Post by barbedwireharry on Jan 8, 2008 20:17:40 GMT -5
*The camera cuts to Sum Guy and Barbedwire Harry Knox, who is holding Norma Jean over his shoulder.*
SG: Mr. Barbedwire, tonight you will be facing Joe Bher, who is also making a return of his own. Thoughts?
BWH: Let me hit you with some info, cat. I've been lurkin' and peekin' and sneakin' in the shadows waiting for a time to strike and redeem myself, and tonight is the night, homie. I'm gonna rip Joe Bher's head off and s**t down his neck! I'm gonna rip his tongue out and stab it with a rusty screwdriver! BLAAAHHH!!!
SG: Good god...is there something wrong with you?
BWH: *Eyes dart around and smiles psychotically*
SG: I think I have my answer write there...
BWH: How dare you call me crazy. You're gonna get it now, cat! *Chases Sum Guy down the hallway swinging Norma Jean wildly and knocking over various backstage equipment*
*Fade*
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TJT
AC Slater
It's fun to be perfect.
Posts: 109
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Post by TJT on Jan 8, 2008 20:46:19 GMT -5
*In the locker room of TJT, Jack Jupiter finds himself tied to a chair, staring at a furious Terina, Thunder and Jupiter pacing on each side.*
Terina: What the hell was that?!
Jack: Uh…huh?
Terina: You know full well what I'm talking about. House Party.
Jack: I lost?
Terina: NO!
Jack: Oh…well…I have a confession to make.
Terina: That you deserve to have your eyes gouged out?
Jack: No, no…it's…well…I didn't do it!
*She pauses, her nose scrunching in disgust.*
Terina: Bullcrap. We all saw you do it!
Jack: Oh come on, gimme a break. Jason, when was I last angry at a woman?
Jupiter: …Never.
Jack: Exactly! C'mon, I wouldn't do it!
Terina: We still saw you.
Jack: Have you ever seen that angry guy that follows me around? Fake Jack?
Terina: He doesn't follow you around. But yes, I have seen him. But why would he wrestle?
Jack: I paid him $50,000 to do it.
Terina: WHAT?! Why did you pay him?!
Jack: Because…I would never do it!
Terina: Why pay him to do it and go through all this trouble if you can't do it?!
Jack: I…I…
*Jack's face turns red, tears running down his face*
Jack: …I CAN'T TELL YOU WHY I DID IT, BUT IT WASN'T MY IDEA!
Terina: Well when CAN you tell us?
Jack: I'll…ask…hopefully in less than a week. But please, take my word for it!
Terina: From the same man that was in my bathroom for no reason?
Jack: Those aren't even related!
Terina: Fine. I'll humor you. But you've got a week.
*She smiles, looking at the two belt-and-casual-clad World Tag Champions*
Terina: Untie him. If he's under attack, then we'll have to protect him, later.
Jupiter: Alright…you're lucky, Jack. Lucky, lucky, lucky.
*Thunder and Jupiter both untie him, helping him up as they show him the door.*
Terina: Oh, and Jack?
Jack: *sheepishly* …Yes?
Terina: I expect you to apologize to her. Now.
Jack: Uh…
*He gets pushed out the door*
Jack: OKAY!
*The door slams on him, locking just before he tries to get back in.*
ENTER COMMERCIAL BREAK.
END COMMERCIAL BREAK.
*At this point, the camera changes view points. It's lens is now focused outside. This is where an irritated Synthy is standing, leaning against a side of the building just under the roof's hangover. She's standing perfectly still, her hands clasped beneath her chin and her eyes are closed. Her clothes are hidden beneath a black from coat that's absolutely soaked. She opens her eyes just as the door slams open, very close to slamming into her.*
Jack: Oh man...oh man...where is she? I came all this way for nothing...alright you...wait here...
*Jack turns around, a dented steel chair of unorthodox coloration in hand, the rain soaking his hair, drenching him totally as he notices Synthy.*
Jack: Ah...wow, I'm glad...I'm SO GLAD I FOUND YOU!
*Synthy's eyes smack open, and the glare in them is very obvious. She unfolds from her zen-positioning, hands clutched into fists by her sides.*
Synthy: .........You really. Really shouldn't be.
*Even though her voice is lower then it's normal intonations, no one loses her words in the rain. Her words match her look.*
Jack: No…I am. I need to apologize. I didn't actually hit you. That was the handiwork of HIM--
*He points to an obviously angry...Fake Jack Jupiter...the angsty man sneering at her with his eyes obscured by hair.*
Fake Jack: Yeah, he paid me to do it...he was told to do it and paid me to do it instead.
Jack: It would've been my head otherwise! I had my fist in my mouth when I saw it happen...
Synthy: Scumbag.
*Synthy narrows the pathway between them by taking a few forceful steps, close enough and gives him a shove backward a little.*
Synthy: Whatever your freaking reasoning is, I want NONE of it. You betrayed whatever very little trust I put in you! You had me slammed by a smurfing chair! You jackass.
*She shoves him again, the grit in her eyes matching the rabid look her mouth has.*
Jack: No, really...I was ordered to do it and I couldn't do it myself. I feel so bad about it. Here, hit me with this...
*He holds the chair towards her, bending his head down. However, from this camera angle, in all the rain, a blood red dragon snaking around the back of the chair’s backrest can be seen, the artwork out of view of all of them...*
Synthy: Oh. HELL no. You think I'm going to betray my own self-confidence by beating somebody's ass with a chair? I only do that during free-for-all matches. I'd prefer to kick your ass when I- wait a smurfing second. "Ordered"?
Jack: Yeah...that's all I can say though.
*Synthy rears back and kicks him hard in the kneecap.* You're dumb. After all, you send some no-charisma goon after me with a chair.. and refuse to tell me the reason behind it. We were partners. I expected you to have my back! God, what the hell am I wasting my time for? I haven't trusted you, nor your partner's ass since that Cassinova fiasco.
*Synthy looks at him, her eyes cold, before she shakes her head and looks at the Fake Jack Jupiter.*
Fake Jack: Pheh...you threatened me. I called it. Heh.
Jack: Oh shut up you idiot...you're not making this any better.
Synthy: I don't care who you're master is right now, Jack. I don't care about much at the moment, besides the fact you can definitely count on my not having your back any time in the future. But if you interfere with me again, I'll bloody your skull into oblivion.
*Synthy turns her back to Jack, and the violent lady's shoulder is icy indeed. She steps over to The Fake.*
Syn: Now how to start with this sheep...
Jack: Wait, wait. I gotta make it up to ya...I just gotta...
Fake Jack: Haha...and now I get all this cash and you end up in misery. My day's complete.
Jack: Complete?
Fake Jack: Well yeah...seeing you get yours would make my day perfect, regardless of what happens to me. *He stands there, smiling.*
Synthy: Oh, really now?
Fake Jack: Yep. It's like...a dream come true. I'm tired of being a stunt double to a scraggly-goateed punk who--
Jack: HEY!
Synthy: Insult him, all you want. He doesn't exist in my current reality. But tell me, what exactly were you thinking when you slammed that chair on me?
Fake Jack: The money's nice.
Synthy: So you are the type of bea- man who thinks it decent to slam a chair on person who has no business with, nor affiliations, as long as he gets paid?
Fake Jack: Yeah. Well I mean, not only do I get paid, but like I said, I get to see him in misery.
*He points to Jack, shivering in the rain*
Fake Jack: THAT is a reward.
Synthy: He paid -you- to do it. I'm sure his so-called misery will be fixed as soon as I'm safely away from him.
Jack: I only was following orders! Eh, just listen to me, and in a week or so, you'll know. But I can't say...
*Synthy bluntly ignores him, her gaze still searching The Fake up and down.*
Syn: Greedy. God, you remind me of that CAP group that was around for a while. Except I think they had more talent.
Fake Jack: Buh. I don't really give a damn. I get my money, I enjoy the failure of others, I'm content.
Synthy: Despicable bastard, aren't you? How can you be content by living off what other people tell you to be?
*Synthy's teeth are bared, giving the audience flashbacks to the Harlot Hunt..*
Jack: They don't tell me what I should be. I've looked like Jack Jupiter my whole life! I just want my luxuries to ease my pain!
Synthy: Money. Does NOT buy happiness. That's outright selfish desire.
Fake Jack: So what? I'm happy, and that's enough for me. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to spend this on something...
*In the rain, Jack Jupiter's crass doppelganger walks into the mist of the parking lot, disappearing from view as the rumbling of an engine can be heard.*
Jack: Ugh...
Synthy: That smurfer ran away before I could kick his ass....
Jack: Yeah, I know. You sure you don't want to kick mine? It's the least I can do to pay you back...I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!
*Synthy sighs, and shoves past him, making sure she shoves him into a puddle of mud before storming off. An aura of anger slowly slides from her. She stands in the doorway, pausing for one millisecond.*
Syn: I can't wait to see who bought your cowardice, Jack. Maybe I can kick that dude's head in at the seams...
*She turns, and walks inside, face glowering.*
Jack: ...Guh...
*Jack gets up, bolting in before the door closes, tracking mud along with him and catching up with the Fuschia-haired GND Champion.*
Jack: It's not cowardice...I...I didn't want to do it myself not because I was afraid, I didn't do it cause I just can't bring myself to that...
Syn: But you could pay a lackey to do it. Seems lower to me. Get away from me.
Jack: No...I want my apology accepted. That was wrong of me to do...I know how obvious that is, but...I could've warned you beforehand or something and staged it...
Synthy: Instead of leaving me to get blitzgrieged on my first night back since I left from injury? Naw, whatever gave you THAT idea?! *SYnthy lunges toward him, before holding her hand up and stalking on.*
Jack: It just came to me...I know...I'm dumb...especially around women...
Synthy: *Scoffs at him* Obviously, no.. go back to your bachelor pad of a locker room and leave me alone before I decided it's your ass I wanna kick after all!
*Jack immediately stops dead in his tracks, mud and water dripping down from him. He walks through the halls to his locker room, unlocking the area and stepping inside. Walking out with some not-wet clothing moments later…oddly enough…he closes and locks the door, knocking on it and immediately getting an answer, the door opening.*
Terina: SO…did you show enough spine to explain yourself?
Jack: Yeah…but she didn’t accept or decline my apology.
Terina: Hah. Well, you apologized at least, and you certainly look disheveled enough to prove it. Now I’m not going to be as hard on you as her...or someone else, who will probably seek you out to slaughter you...so welcome back. Just…
Jack: Yes?
Terina: Watch out. We all make mistakes, as I have come to realize being manager to two men...so whatever. See ya later...but just don't come in here. You at least proved me wrong maturity-wise...
*She shuts the door on him, as he walks back to his room, preparing to unlock the door*
Jack: Didn't accept my apology...well, I'll show her...
*He unlocks the door, stepping inside and shutting it as the camera fades.*
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Post by barbedwireharry on Jan 8, 2008 22:21:03 GMT -5
"White and Nerdy" By Weird Al hits as Joe Bher comes out to the ring to a decent pop. He slides into the ring and climbs the turnbuckle to post. "Sabotage" by The Beastie Boys plays as Barbedwire Harry Knox enters through the crowd carrying a Norma Jean and a garbage can. He slides into the ring and immediately hits Bher's with the garbage can, signaling the bell. Harry drops a fierce elbow on Joe and begins punching him.
Harry picks up Bher and irish whips him into the ropes. Bher comes back, ducking under Harry, and hits him with a shining wizard. Bher goes to hit a standing moonsault, but misses Harry and lands on the garbage can. Harry takes advantage of Bher's hilarious misfortune by tossing out of the ring. Harry climbs onto the top rope with the garbage can and jumps off, nailing Bher right in the head.
Harry takes Bher and whips him into the steel steps, forcing him to flip over them entirely. Bher recovers and springs up and begins nailing Harry with stiff right hooks and finishing him off woth an enzugiri. Bher goes under the ring and pulls out a shiny steel chair. Bher gets somes revenge on Harry by nailing him in the back with the chair several times, then topping it off with a facebuster with the chair.
Bher takes Harry and rolls him into the ring. Bher then attempts a springboard hurracaranna, but Harry catches him mid air and levels him with a hard powerbomb straight to the canvas. Harry lifts Bher and lands a suplex. He then turns Bher over locks in a boston crab. Her screams in agony and attempts to crawl to the ropes.
Bher finally overcomes Harry and breaks out of the submission. He begins to punch Harry, backing him into the corner. Bher runs across the ring and runs toward Harry. He attempts the a shining wizard, but Harry moves out of the way, resulting in Bher taking a nasty bump against the turnbuckle. Harry climbs out of the ring and picks up Norma Jean, staring lovingly at the paddle.
He slides back into the ring and waits for Bher to stand up. When Bher finally rises to his feet, Harry cocks back and nails Bher in the head with deadly force. He picks up Bher and hits the Barbedwire Driver for the pin & win. Harry stands up and raises Norma Jean in the air as the crowd lets out a cheer for Harry. Harry pats Bher on the face and smiles as he walks through the crowd to the back.
*Commercial Break*
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Post by The Puzzle Maker on Jan 9, 2008 20:36:55 GMT -5
Four.
Am I insane? Just a mad anarchist? Capturing photographs of flowers and setting them on fire? Many believe so. That the paradox is one who builds monuments of paradise. That it is also the very thing that destroys them. The paradox is one that solves itself quite simply. With an inverse and a twist. A truth that never existed. A false prophet. A true negative of the original false positive. Stemming from the distorted vision of his mind's eyes. He is not. I am not. Your many inquiries yielded responses. Those who have wondered? Those who have asked? Those received. The paradox is a caring one, that replies to its potential believers. Most have seen their reply--some have not. Alas, eventually, those who have not will do so. For the curious, yet afflicted, you may still inquiry me. The paradox will accept you with broken arms. Relinquish your spirit to the paradox. Surrender your soul to the addiction. Submit your mind to the enlightenment. Relinquish. Surrender. Submit. Release yourself to me. Allow me to consume you. It will only hurt a bit.
I am but a fang. I am. I am. I am.
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Jan 12, 2008 12:02:53 GMT -5
Darkness falls over the arena. Whispers can be heard around the building. Then the screen comes on we can see the silhouette of a man, we can’t see his face, it’s hidden by shadow, he also has hair hanging down over his face but we can see his eyes staring through them. His voice is also eerily familiar.
Man: Friday is the day. I will step back into the EWT arena.
Numbers flash up onto the screen.
08-11-26-01-04-18-15-15-09-22-07-06-09-13
Man: I changed EWT once, I will change it again. Once I make my presence felt you will all remember my name.
01-18-20-08
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Post by Gigantor Maximus on Jan 13, 2008 15:10:02 GMT -5
* "China White" by The Scorpions begins playing & the Toomitron goes black as white letters followed by black & white images flash across it...* SEVEN FEET, ELEVEN INCHES! * In time to the beat of the music, we briefly see a flashes of a man's eyes, dark hair swaying infront of them.* FIVE HUNDRED SEVENTY THREE POUNDS! * Again, in time to the music, we see flashes of fuzzy-boots stomping across the ground.* A TRUE WRESTLING GIANT! * In time to the music once more, we see flashes of those fuzzy boots stamping on & crushing action figures of various other EWT "Giants" (Mr. Big, Shane Malone, The Canceler, etc.).* GIGANTOR MAXIMUS!!! ...Coming Soon...
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Post by chanceconfidence on Jan 13, 2008 15:25:29 GMT -5
Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
¢
£
A
¥
The intro to 'No One Knows' plays as the cocky Clay appears, EWT Stable title in toe, starting to head down to the ring.
Announcer: Introducing first, representing Minipax, from Cash Mountain, weighing in at 262 pounds, The Killionaire, Richard Clay!
Richard Clay climbs into the ring, slowly removing his purple vest, as he gives a self satisfied smirk, as he walks over to his corner of the ring, setting his stable title down there. He turns, as his music is cut off, as Gun by Gus Gus starts up now, his opponent emerging soon after. The confident Chance Confidence, smirks to himself, donning his silver robe, a pair of rose tinted shades, and the usual headset microphone slipped on his head. Behind him, his Platinum Punisher can be seen following silently.
Chance: Now then... introducing my crappy knock off's opponent, if Richie Bod Clay hails from a mountain, then I must hail from the damn Cash Nebula! I weigh in tonight at a dazzling... 219 pounds. I am accompanied by the baddest arse to ever spawn from the genetic pool... other than myself, my Platinum Punisher, I am the golden god that graces women's dreams and men's nightmares... Chance Confidence!
The crowd boos loudly, as Clay looks on in the ring, quite unamused by his opponent's arrogance, as Confidence steps down to the ring, hopping onto the apron, flipping into the ring, strutting over and performing his pre match hand stand, then hopping down, Punisher removing his robe and taking it outside the ring, as Chance removes his shades, closing them up, then giving his opponent an arrogant sneer, Clay returning the gaze with a cocky look of his own. The referee calls for the bell.
Chance swaggers over to the center of the ring, as Clay meets him there, the two looking at each other. It's almost like they are looking in a mirror. Clay calls for a lock up, as Chance lunges in, then backs away, shaking his head and slicking back his hair, as he waves a finger at Clay, who looks on unamused. He calls for another, Chance lunging in once more, then once again backing off, instead wanting to start this lock up himself. Clay shrugs, then lunges in, right into a kick to the gut! He gasps, doubled over, as Chance starts unloading, hitting a quick series of European Uppercuts, staggering Clay. He then grabs and takes him into a snapmare, Clay however rolling through to his feet, countering by taking Chance into a falling neckbreaker! Chance hits the mat, as Clay grabs him, delivering a quick series of knees to the face, then grabbing and snapping off a suplex. Chance groans, rising back to his feet, only for Richard to scoop him up, slamming him to the mat. He immediately drops down, clinching on a chin lock, Chance however quickly elbowing free, as Richard releases, Confidence quickly getting back up, nailing Richard with a jumping enziguri! Clay grasps the back of his head, as he goes flat, Confidence making a quick cover. 1....2
Clay kicks out. Chance looks a bit annoyed, as he pulls him up to his feet, delivering a quick rake to the eyes, Clay grasping at them, Confidence now aiming some quick kicks at the legs of Richard, who starts to stumble back a bit, before Chance takes him down to one knee with a dropkick to the knee. Richard drops down, grasping it, as Chance runs off the ropes, looking for a jumping knee, Richard however countering, planting him with a spinebuster! Confidence groans, quickly rolling out of the ring, as the crowd boos, the arrogant young punk grasping at his back, as he slowly walks around outside the ring, Clay looking on with a smirk now. He claps his hands together, motioning for him to bring it on, his opponent looking on rather calm, simply rolling back into the ring, then rolling back out, nursing his back again. the referee starts to count him out, as Clay lays in wait still. Eventually, Chance returns, Clay charging right at him with a knee lift to the gut, turning him inside out! He groans, rising back up, clutching his chest, as Clay grabs him by the waist, immediately snapping off a Northern Lights Suplex, bridging for the cover. 1....2..
Chance kicks out. Clay looks down, reaching and gently patting Chance on the head, as he chuckles a bit, before pulling him back up, only to get a kick to the gut, as Chance unleashes a few quick forearms to the face, not amused. He then runs off the ropes, coming back with a flying forearm, nailing Clay in the face! He kips back up, then grasping his back slightly, as he charges forward, hitting a flipping senton across Clay's own chest, who gasps in pain. Confidence reaches back down, patting him on the head now, only to get pulled into a Small Package by Clay! 1....2..
Chance however kicks out, immediately getting back up and stepping angrily at Clay on the mat! He quickly reaches back down, yanking him to his feet, as he takes him into a snap suplex of his own, rising back up and dropping a quick leg drop across the throat. Clay gasps a bit, as Chance sits him up, leaping up to deliver a dropkick across the back of the neck. He sits back up and grins, clapping for himself, as Clay clutches the back of the neck. He rises back up, as Chance aims a roundhouse at his face, only for Clay to duck under, diving and clipping his leg, sending Chance down! Clay grabs the leg, stomping at the base of it, then dropping down for a leg breaker. Chance gasps a bit, as Clay pops back up, grabbing and hitting another one, before Chance forces him off with his other foot. Clay rolls back to his feet, charging forward again and taking him into a Jack knife pin. 1....2...
Chance escapes. Clay rises back up, as Chance follows, clutching at that leg, Richard aiming a kick of his own at it, Chance gasping and clutching further, as he quickly grabs it, taking Chance into a Dragon Screw, then dropping an elbow across it, as he locks in a single leg lock, grabbing and cranking on it, as Chance grimaces in pain. He tries kicking Clay off again, but to no avail, as the Killionaire keeps that hold locked on tight, Chance looking on in anger, as Clay smirks more, still locking it on. Chance keeps trying to wriggle free, but to no avail, as Clay refuses to let go. Eventually Chance manages to sit up, nailing Clay with a blatant fist to the face, loosening the hold, as he rolls free, nursing the leg further, as Clay groans, shaking off the effects of that punch. He walks back over, grabbing Chance by the leg again, only for him to get kicked off once more, as Chance rises back up slowly, hopping a bit, as he looks on in annoyance, Clay charging, scooping Chance up for another spinebuster, only for him counter into a victory roll! 1....2....
No! Clay escapes. Chance rises back up, only for Clay to follow, running up and taking him immediately into a Russian Leg Sweep! He then reaches over, applying another leg lock, as Chance yelps in pain, quickly elbowing his way out again, as he rolls off, Clay leaping up and grabbing that leg once more, slapping on an ankle lock, Chance quickly rolling through, sending him stumbling forward, as he groans, nursing that leg further. Clay looks on, as he walks over, only to get dropped with a drop toe hold, as Chance catches him, rising back up and smirking again, still rubbing that leg, as he runs forward, nailing a dropkick right to Clay's face, sending him now rolling out of the ring! Chance sees this, then drops down, yelping in pain, as he grabs his leg, the referee running over to check. As he does, the Platinum Punisher runs over, yanking Clay up and unleashing some vicious fists to the face, doing further damage. He then scoops him high, charging forward and driving him spine first into the turnbuckle post! Clay groans in pain, as Punisher then grabs him again, whipping him hard into the steel steps back first, as he grimaces further, before he gets rolled back into the ring, as the Punisher returns to Chance's corner. Clay groans, slowly rising up, as Chance seems to have "recovered" able to get up, as he charges forward, nailing Clay with a running soccer right to the face, doing further damage, as he quickly drops down for a cover. 1....2.....
Clay manages to get the shoulder up. Chance looks on in annoyance, as he gazes outside the ring, giving his Platinum Punisher a very angry look, when he suddenly gets rolled up in a school boy! 1....2....
Chance escapes just in time, as Clay pants a bit, still feeling the effects of that mugging outside the ring, as he slowly rises back up, clutching further at the back, Confidence following. He immediately delivers an elbow to the face of Clay, then grabbing him for a falling neckbreaker, only for Clay to push him off, sending Chance off the ropes, as he catches him and nails the Golden Bomb, laying Confidence out, as he lands flat on the mat, Clay making a quick pin attempt. 1....2.....3
NO! Chance gets the shoulder up. Clay grabs his head, as he looks on in annoyance, pulling Confidence back up and setting him for the Killionaire Krunch now, only for Platinum Punisher to climb onto the apron, now distracting the referee. Clay however sees this, dropping Chance, then running over, shoving him off, the Punisher hitting the floor, chance however running up from behind, grabbing him by the waist and nailing a German Suplex, bridging for the pin! 1....2....3
NO! Clay manages to escape in time. He grasps further, as Confidence shakes his head in annoyance, looking down, as he pulls Clay back up again, setting him up for the Confidence Breaker, only for Clay to deliver a shoulder to the stomach, sending him stumbling off, following with a low dropkick to the leg, taking Chance face first into the mat! He then starts applying a Half Boston Crab, dragging Chance into the center of the ring, as he starts yelling angrily, trying to break free, but to no avail, as Clay is determined to hold on this time. Chance reaches down, yelling in pain, then immediately tapping out, as Clay grins, then stops. The referee is being distracted yet again, this time by someone in a silver dress and theatre mask of some kind, as Clay gets off again, stomping over in annoyance, when suddenly, two more silver wearing people slide in from behind, both of them in silver spandex body suits and lucha styled masks, as one of them scoops Clay up in some kind of Inverted Crucifix Bomb, as the other follows up with a cutter, the move connecting, as the dress wearing one palm faces for some reason, before the three of them quickly leave, as Chance crawls over, draping an arm across for the pin. 1.....2.....
3!
Chance has won, via some mysterious interference.
Announcer: Your winner of the match.... Chance Confidence!
Chance slowly rises back up, grasping his leg further, as Gun starts up again, Punisher slipping into the ring, as Confidence looks over at him, smacking him across the face, then snapping his fingers, as the man nods, cradling Confidence in his grip, carrying him out of the ring now, so he doesn't aggravate that leg further, as he looks over, grinning and waving cockily to Clay, who is still down and out on the mat, as the crowd boos angrily. though they hate Clay, they most likely hate Chance more, especially for his tactics in this match.
We quickly fade to commercial.
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Post by BoilerRoomBrawler on Jan 13, 2008 22:50:39 GMT -5
*Everything goes silent and the lights dim, with attention drawn to the Titantron.*
Titantron: You’ve seen the best…
*A flash of Bret Hart footage*
Titantron: You’ve seen the phenomenal…
*A flash of A.J. Styles footage*
Titantron: But prepare for something more… Something… phenomenaler…
*Silence, then pyro as “The Power†by Manowar plays*
*A fat guy walks out wearing black boots w/red tops, black elbow pads with red centers, white wrist bands, and reddish-purple pants.*
Tony Chimel: From Machesney Park, IL, at 6’, weighing in at 380 lbs, it is the “Phenomen…aler? Ahem… Scott Andrews!
*Andrews looks at Chimel with mild consternation, but progresses to the ring jumping up and down a few times in anticipation.*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Jan 14, 2008 1:09:51 GMT -5
*Toom E Dangerously comes out to the ring. He is carrying a briefcase with him & sets it down on a table in the center of the ring. He reaches for the ring announcers microphone.* Good evening everybody. It's great to be here in the EWT Arena in front of our loyal EWT fans. And it's even better to have gotten rid of dorf & to have the power...the FULL POWER back where it belongs. You see, that's what it's all about folks...full power. And that full power is back in the hands ME!!!! The one true founder of Extreme Wrestlecrap Threaderation. I started EWT with a vision. I started EWT as a challenge. And that challenge rose above the competition. And that competition went out of business. Look at all those who have cowered before me & you do not see them anymore. WCF....FINISHED!!! Double D Dudley....FINISHED!!! HitmanMark...FINISHED!!! curtrok...FINISHED!!! pyschoapeguy...FINISHED!!! Moxie...FINISHED!!! Spaz...FINISHED!!! Billy "the Virgin" Ubermark...FINISHED!!! And still a virgin, from my understanding. jzbadblood...FINISHED!!!dorf...FINISHED!!! Do you even see what I am getting at here? Do you even appreciate all that I have done for you, the fans? I faced challenges & I stomped them 1 by 1 by 1 by 1. And now...now we have 1 more challenge that lies ahead of us. But you see, this is a challenge I do not mind facing because, frankly, I know I am not facing it. But it is a challenge that the EWT Heavyweight Champion will face. And it is a challenge that you fans will LOVE to see on Sunday, Febuary 17th, 2008. You see, Joe One came to me & he spoke to me. He made some valid points. He has retained his championship against some very worthy challengers in some interesting matches. Snakes On a Plane Match. The Megadeth. A Pure Rules Match. He has beat former champions like Mike Ragnal, jzbadblood, & Limey. He overcame the odds many times. And now he wants a real challenge. And that's what I am giving him. You see, there is a common ground between Joe One & I...and that's challenge. So Febueary 17th, 2008... Common Ground will come to each & every one of you with the return of one of the great EWT matches that I have created. A match not witnessed since January 8th, 2006 @ House Party II. A match that will be a challenge for all involved. But here's the answer to what exactly you are wondering. Just who will Joe One be facing? That, my friends, is a very good question. You see, Joe One will be facing none other then Maelstrom for the EWT Heavyweight Championship. And if Joe One beats Maelstrom, he faces another challenge as his EWT Championship will be hanging up in the center of a domed steel cage. And who will Joe One face inside that domed steel cage if he beats Maelstrom? Or what if Maelstrom manages to make the EWT Heavyweight Champion submit or pin him? Then Maelstrom could enter that domed steel cage. And he can face that challenge ahead. 5 rings. 4 matches total. 3 matches going on at once. Joe One versus Maelstrom. Chance Confidence versus an opponent to be named later. And Christopher Indigo versus an opponent to be named later.
6 shall enter the Survival Cage.
3 of those men will win.
3 of those men will lose.
But only 1 will survive on Common Ground!!! The question remains though...who will win....THIS?? *Toom E Dangerously opens the briefcase to reveal a brand new designed EWT Heavyweight Championship of the World. He takes it out of the briefcase & holds the belt up for all to see, as we fade to commercial.*
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Post by SHOCK_THE_TRUTH.VLTG3 on Jan 14, 2008 16:41:13 GMT -5
SYSTEM STARTUP BEGIN SYSTEM STARTUP FAILED SHUTTING DOWN TO THE BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH...
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Sigma: Current SRW Champ!
Dennis Stamp
Writes about wrestling, does videos about game shows, helps transpeople, loves baseball etc.
Posts: 4,525
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Post by Sigma: Current SRW Champ! on Jan 14, 2008 19:03:58 GMT -5
Tony Schiavone: Ladies and Gentlemen, It’s now time for a grudge match. Sigma has been in Team Ireland’s crosshairs ever since Skies the Limit. Sigma then cost Shane Malone the title against Voltigeur afterwards. Then Sigma was robbed by Shane Malone at Survival of the Fittest when Sigma nailed Voltigeur with the God’s Wrath, and Shane Malone spears Sigma out of the way.
Jesse Ventura: Yeah, but it got worse. Sigma was then bloodied badly by Shane Malone at Season’s Beatings. Then Sigma decided to pull out all of the stops and decided to play the trump card. He then got another Toolshed Title match out of Shane Malone; in exchange for a tape featuring Liam’s secret.
Tony Schiavone: But it wasn’t Liam’s secret. It was Sean McCann’s secret that he slept with a cross-dresser. Team Ireland didn’t take too kindly to that, and decided to say to hell with the Tri-State Title at House Party and just go after Sigma. Now Sean McCann wants to go after Sigma because he believes his manhood has been, well, soiled and ruined.
Jesse Ventura: Yeah, well Sigma is getting into dangerous territory because Team Ireland is out for blood. Also throw into the fact that Bad Man has Shane Malone’s Toolshed Title belt, so Sigma needs to watch out.
Tony Schiavone: Well, Sigma doesn’t have long to worry because Sean McCann went to Toom E. Dangerously and requested this match. It will be Sigma vs. Sean McCann as we go to the ring and the ring announcer Gary Michael Capetta.
(Bell rings)
GMC: Ladies and gentlemen, our next contest is scheduled for one fall.
(Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode plays, Crowd surprisingly cheers)
GMC: Entering the EWT Arena tonight. From Tacoma, Washington, he weighs in at 262 pounds. He is SIIIIIGGGGGGGGMMMMMMMMAAAAA!
Tony Schiavone: Sigma is getting cheered tonight for some odd reason.
Jesse Ventura: Well, he isn’t as hated as Team Ireland is. Not only that, he can speak fluent English without an accent. And now he’s got a microphone.
Tony Schiavone: Joy.
Sigma: It seems that Sean McCann decided to become slightly miffed about his recent exposure. There’s nothing wrong with men having romantic intercourse, or for you Mahavir fans, “Sexy Time”. But since Sean McCann is completely insecure about his masculinity and Coach O’Hare has restricted Sean of any fornication for the time being, I’m sure he is more rabid than Cujo.
(Crowd cheers)
So, without further adieu, get out here your Irish pile of fecal matter. I will destroy you. You will feel the wrath of Sigma, you and the rest of your Irish infidels.
Tony Schiavone: Sigma is ready for Sean McCann.
Jesse Ventura: Yeah, but I don’t think Sean will be fighting by himself here tonight.
*"Superfamous Supertune" by Messiah J & The Expert plays over the Toomitron & the crowd starts booing as they know the arrival of Sean McCann is imminent.*
"That was a lovely piece of music but they've heard it now. Hows about you play the song they really care about? You know the one, the one you wouldn't dare leave out. Share it now, play the song they really care about. It's the one that goes "Da-da-da-da-nah-nah-nah", The one that goes "Da-da-da-da-nah-nah-nah"."
*McCann appears on the ramp & the boos increase as he cockily strides to the ring with O'Hare waving his Hurley at his side.*
Announcer: From Donegal, Ireland, being accompanied by Coach O'Hare, weighing in at 182lbs, representing Team Ireland... "The Don Juan of Donegal"... SEAN... MC~CAAAAAAANNNNN!
*The crowd hurl more boos in the direction of McCann & O'Hare. Sean merely laps it up until a "YOU F*** GUYS!" chant begins. This pisses Sean off to such a degree that he's about to turn right back & walk to the locker-room again. O'Hare grabs Sean by the shoulders & points towards the ring, berating McCann. Sean merely keeps his head down & goes on towards the ring as O'Hare rubs his shoulders & pats his back.*
Tony Schiavone: The crowd is really laying it thick on Sean McCann after that tape aired.
Jesse Ventura: Well, wouldn’t you if someone you hated was found out to have done something completely out of the norm.
Tony Schiavone: Mean like the time we all joked about how David Crockett got a 3…
Jesse Ventura: Yes.
As Sean storms down the ramp, he wastes no time going after Sigma. He starts to lay on Sigma with a few punches to the jaw, an Irish Whip to the ropes and tries for a shoulder-block, but Sigma knocks Sean McCann down. Sigma gives a sly little smile.
Tony Schiavone: Sean McCann is wasting no time laying it in to Sigma.
Jesse Ventura: No reason not to. He’s gotta beat Sigma quick, otherwise he’s done. Sigma has tons of endurance when it comes to brawling and taking massive hits.
Tony Schiavone: Got that right, Jess. Sean now gives Sigma an Irish whip to the ropes, and goes for a shoulder-block, but Sigma just knocks him down. Sigma is smiling. It’s as if he wanted Sean to come after him.
Sean quickly gets up and beats on Sigma to the turnbuckle. He then gives him another Irish whip to the other side of the ring, and charges after him and gives him a vicious clothesline and knocks Sigma over the top rope. Sigma lands on his feet and just laughs.
Tony Schiavone: Sigma is just letting Sean come after him. Sean is knocking him to the turnbuckle, Sean then gives him an Irish Whip to the other side and Sigma goes over the top rope.
Jesse Ventura: Sigma is still standing. I bet Sigma is still feeling the effects from House Party. There’s no way he’s not feeling any pain.
Sigma quickly climbs into the ring, and Sean kicks Sigma in the stomach repeatedly and Sigma starts to wince a bit. Sigma then goes to a sitting position and Sean McCann kicks Sigma stiffly in the back of his head. Sigma then goes down to the mat and Sean McCann quickly pins him.
Tony Schiavone: Sigma climbs back in and Sean is just leveling him with kicks to the mid-section.
Jesse Ventura: Sigma is feeling those kicks. He’s gone down to his knees and is not taking a sitting position.
Tony Schiavone: Sean McCann then stiffly kicks Sigma on the back of the head and quickly makes the cover.
Ref: 1……Kick out.
Tony Schiavone: And Sigma quickly kicks out.
Jesse Ventura: It’s way too early to pin Sigma.
Sean McCann lifts Sigma up and delivers a right hand. Sigma blocks it, kicks Sean in the midsection and delivers a knee-lift to send Sean to the mat. Sigma then picks Sean up, lifts him up and gives him a backbreaker. Sean goes down, holding his back. Sigma goes for the pin.
Tony Schiavone: Sean with a big right, Sigma blocks, kick to the midsection and a nice knee-lift to send Sean to the mat.
Jesse Ventura: Sigma isn’t deterred in this contest. He knew what he was getting himself into after trading that tape in for a title shot.
Tony Schiavone: And Sigma delivers a massive backbreaker.
Ref: 1……..2...Two Count.
Tony Schiavone: And Sigma only gets a 2 count.
Jesse Ventura: Sean is still too fresh. Sigma needs to pound on him some more.
Sigma comes off the ropes to hit an elbow drop, but Sean quickly moves out of the way and does a double stomp on Sigma’s back. Sigma starts to hurt a bit.
Tony Schiavone: Sigma going for an elbow drop; and misses.
Jesse Ventura: Quick thinking by Sean McCann and look how he got Sigma with a vicious Double Stomp.
Sean is lifting Sigma to his knees, runs off the ropes and stiffly dropkicks him in the back of the head. Sigma looks out and Sean McCann goes for a pin.
Tony Schiavone: I don’t think this is a wise move for Sean. Lifting Sigma up doesn’t seem to be a wise maneuver.
Jesse Ventura: Sean is the quickest of the bunch, so he could hit an impact move swiftly as he does right there with that stiff dropkick to the back of Sigma’s head.
Tony Schiavone: And the pinning combination…
Ref: 1……2…….Shoulder.
Tony Schiavone: And Sigma gets the shoulder up.
Jesse Ventura: Sigma is hurting and had to struggle a bit to get the shoulder up.
Sean McCann: What’s the problem, I pinned that bastage!
While Sean argues with the ref, Sigma slowly gets up and gets behind Sean McCann.
Tony Schiavone: Sean is arguing with the ref.
Jesse Ventura: And he shouldn’t be because Sigma is up and he’s right behind him.
Coach O’Hare: SEAN! BEHIND YA!
Sean turns around, and gets a kick to the midsection and an Even-Flow DDT for not paying attention from Sigma.
Tony Schiavone: He turns around and finds Sigma.
Jesse Ventura: Sigma stalked his prey and a kick to the midsection and a devastating Even-Flow DDT for his efforts.
Sigma lifts up Sean, flings him to the ropes and gives him a massive boot to the face which knocks him out of the ring.
Tony Schiavone: Irish whip to the ropes and a massive boot from Sigma to Sean which sends him out of the ring.
Jesse Ventura: Sigma miscalculated. He needs to keep Sean grounded. If he gives him that much room to roam, he’ll fly all over the place.
Sigma pursues Sean to the outside, Sean is going around to the other side of the ring, he comes into the ring, Sigma goes under the bottom rope and Sean McCann does a Double Stomp to the back of Sigma’s head.
Tony Schiavone: And around the ring we go, Sean enters and Sigma follows suit and Sean nails him with a Double Foot Stomp to the back of the head.
Jesse Ventura: Sigma fell for that one, plain and simple.
Sigma is lying down. Sean drags him across from a Turnbuckle and signals for the Dublin Stomp.
Tony Schiavone: He’s signaling for the Dublin Stomp.
Jesse Ventura: And he needs to hit this quick, Sigma is start to stir.
With Sigma stirring, Sean runs up the turnbuckle and signals to the crowd that Sigma is finished.
Tony Schiavone: Sean is wasting time here.
Jesse Ventura: He needs to attack Sigma now.
Sean goes for his Patented Dublin Stomp, but Sigma rolls out of the way and Sean comes crashing down.
Tony Schiavone: SEAN MISSES!
Jesse Ventura: Sigma gets his second wind with Sean missing.
Sigma uses the ropes to get himself up and is holding his head. He sees Sean dazed as well and delivers a massive lariat to him.
Tony Schiavone: Sigma is getting up, sees Sean in his sights, and blasts him with a lariat.
Jesse Ventura: Sigma is getting back into this match.
Sigma: It’s time for this contest to end.
Sigma lifts up Sean by his mane, and sets Sean up for the Sigma Suplex.
Tony Schiavone: Sigma has him set up for the Sigma Suplex.
Jesse Ventura: If he hits this, it’s all over.
Sigma lifts up Sean, and then follows through and nails Sean with the Sigma Suplex.
Tony Schiavone: And the Sigma Suplex connects. Sean is out.
Jesse Ventura: The little fireball has been put out.
Sigma then points to the turnbuckle with distain. He lifts up Sean and places him on the top Turnbuckle, then proceeds to scale the turnbuckle and sets him up for the God’s Wrath.
Tony Schiavone: What is Sigma doing now?
Jesse Ventura: He has Sean beat, but he wants to inflict some more pain.
Sigma lifts up Sean, and springs off the top rope and delivers the God’s Wrath. After he does that, Coach O’Hare comes into the ring and blasts Sigma with the barb-wire Hurley.
Tony Schiavone: Sigma springs off and hits the God’s Wrath.
Jesse Ventura: This match is now over, and I think Sean as well.
Tony Schiavone: THERE’S COACH O’HARE WITH THE HURLEY!
Jesse Ventura: And he nails Sigma with the Hurley and the ref calls for the bell.
Tony Schiavone: This was a great match, ruined by Coach O’Hare.
As Coach O’Hare lifts the Hurley, he motions for the rest of Team Ireland to come down.
Tony Schiavone: O’Hare is gloating and motioning for Team Ireland to come down.
Aiden Donnely and Shane Malone come down to the ring to the beckon call of Coach O’Hare. Shane is foaming at the mouth at the opportunity to get back at Sigma.
Jesse Ventura: And here they come. Sigma is officially done here.
Coach O’Hare: MAHAVIR, LIAM, TJT, MINIPAX! WATCH CAREFULLY, FOR IF YOU CROSS US, YOU WILL FEEL OUR WRATH, JUST LIKE THIS GOBSHEED THAT DECIDED TO CROSS US. SIGMA! YOU SHOULD HAVE NEVER CROSSED THAT LINE. SHANE, AIDEN, SEAN…..GET HIM!
Aiden decides to lift Sigma up, goes to the turnbuckle, and gives him his Guinness Hangover.
Tony Schiavone: Oh no, this will become a massacre, I just know it.
Jesse Ventura: It’s grim for Sigma as Aiden lifts him up and delivers the Guinness Hangover to Sigma.
Shane Malone starts to foam, but Coach O’Hare holds him back for a bit.
Coach O’Hare: You get the last crack, Shane.
With those words uttered, Shane relaxes as Aiden and Sean lifts Sigma to the top rope and nails Aer Lingus on Sigma, which drives him to the mat.
Tony Schiavone: Aer Lingus on Sigma by Team Ireland. They need to send some security or officials down there to stop this.
Jesse Ventura: Who’s going to stop them, Shane Malone will just swat them away.
Aiden Donnely then motions to Sean to go for the Dublin Stomp and tells Shane to get a chair. Shane Malone quickly grabs a chair and slides it to Aiden. Aiden places the chair on top of Sigma’s stomach. Sean runs quickly to the turnbuckle, and with Aiden and Shane holding Sigma down, Sean McCann hits the Dublin Stomp.
Tony Schiavone: And now the Dublin Stomp. This has seriously got to stop.
Jesse Ventura: I don’t think it will stop. Team Ireland has a lot of frustration to vent, and Sigma is their victim.
Coach O’Hare: Sean, take the chair, Aiden, take my Hurley. You two beat up Sigma. Shane, KILL HIM!
Sean McCann just smashes Sigma’s stomach and legs with the chair, while Aiden bludgeons his upper midsection and head with the Hurley. It’s then Aiden gets the idea.
Aiden: Sean, set down the chair, and I’ll put this on top of it. Shane, SLAY THE DRAGON.
Shane lets out a guttural roar, and pulls the bloody Sigma up and sets him up for the Dragon slayer.
Tony Schiavone: I really don’t like where this is going. It’s looking like Sigma’s getting a Dragon Slayer now.
Jesse Ventura: Team Ireland has seen Sigma as a big dragon, and now he’s going to get slain.
Shane Lifts up sigma and just nails him with the Dragon Slayer on the chair with the Barb-Wire Hurley on his head. Sigma gets rolled over, with the Hurley stuck on his forehead. Coach O’Hare jerks the Hurley off of Sigma, ripping apart the already busted open head of Sigma. A big pool of blood is where Sigma currently lies.
Tony Schiavone: And there’s the Dragon Slayer. Sigma looks like he’s dead.
Jesse Ventura: Sigma has been slain.
Tony Schiavone: And the Coach just rolls him over and pulls the Hurley off of Sigma’s forehead.
Jesse Ventura: The Hurley stuck to Sigma’s forehead. That’s how powerful that Dragon Slayer was. If Shane didn’t perform that move anymore and that would be his last one, he really made it count.
Coach O’Hare: YOU SEE WHAT YOU GET SIGMA, FOR MESSING WITH THE CELTIC GIANT, THE DON JUAN, AND THE CAPTIAN, YOU GET SLAYED. YOU NOW KNOW FULL WELL WHAT WE’RE CAPABLE OF. YOU WILL NEVER IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE, BEAT THE IRISH.
As “I’m Shipping Up To Boston” hits, the entire crowd is in stunned silence of the brutality of what just happened. Sigma’s entire face and upper body is just blood red, flesh torn apart, motionless, and just knocked out. Team Ireland is gloating to the fans and everyone what they did to Sigma. The EMT’s finally make their way down and gently put Sigma on the stretcher. They gently lift him up and place him on the gurney and wheel Sigma out of the arena.
Backstage, he is seen being put in the Ambulance by the EMT’s in a broken, bloody mess. Sigma just lies there motionless, wrapped up in bandages, a neck brace and tape around his ribs.
Tony Schiavone: And there you see Sigma getting put in the Ambulance, all bandaged up and ready to be taken to the hospital.
Jesse Ventura: Do you think he stepped over the line with all of this video tape business?
Tony Schiavone: I do believe that was a bit far, but what Team Ireland did was beyond heinous. Team Ireland pretty much put Sigma on the shelf at least for a couple of weeks.
Jesse Ventura: I know Sigma’s a tough guy and he’ll be back, but even I must admit that Team Ireland went over the line here.
Tony Schiavone: We’ll be back after this TV time out.
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The Line
Patti Mayonnaise
Real Name: Bumkiss. Stanley Bumkiss.
Peanut Butter & JAAAAAMMMM!
Posts: 36,698
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Post by The Line on Jan 15, 2008 0:13:57 GMT -5
We now join Sum Guy backstage.
Sum Guy: Sum Guy here! I'd now like to introduce my guest. His return to EWT was just formally announced at Toomi's House Party. That man is "Insecticidal" Andy Duke!
Andy Duke walks on from off-screen right. He is wearing black nylon "track suit pants" with a white vertical stripes up the side of each leg, a black Cidal Squad t-shirt with the sleeves cut off, and black aviator shades.
Sum: So Andy, how does it feel to be back?
Duke: It feels great. In the short time I was gone, a lot has happened in and to this company, and I had to stand on the outside looking in. But now I AM in. Instead of watching, I will be doing, and damn, I'm excited!
Sum: Well, in your brief absence where you were busy nursing injuries, your fellow Cidal Squad member, the only other Cidal Squad member, also fell victim to the injury bug. What are you going to do about that?
Duke: Well, anyone who has watched the Cidal Squad over the past year knows we are all about reinvention when it comes to getting new members. Whether it be our first member, the then-returning Deamon Cohln, the man who replaced him Jonathan Doe, the first lady of the Cidal Squad Alexa King, the shocking additions of Mike Ragnal and Crauswell, or the planned addition of a new tag team with the Tag invite, which I apologize about not completing. Unfortunately, the memberships of all those members seems to expire prematurely, or fails to even officially start. But I hope whenever I decide to recruit, that this time will be different. I have faith.
Sum:OK, I got a producer screaming in my ear piece, so just one last question before you go-
Suddenly, a woman with a headset carrying a cordless phone runs on screen.
Woman: Mr. Duke. The phone is for you, I guess. He asked for you
She hands the phone over to Duke, who puts it up to his ear, cautiously. His look quickly changes from one of inquisitiveness to one of surprise, perhaps even fear.
Sum: What? Who is it?
Duke: (takes the phone down from his ear and hands it to the woman) Thats just the thing. No one was there. (He turns to the woman) You said it was a man who asked for me?
Woman: Yes, most definitely.
Duke suddenly grabs her by her shoulders.
Duke: Can you tell me anything else besides that? Old or young? Mad or Happy? Anything.
Woman: Mmm...No. I can't think of anything. I'm sorry.
Duke releases her
Duke: Dammit. Maybe its...no. I'd have to be crazy to think that. Well, I've got to go.
Duke leaves. The phone rings again.
Woman: Hello. Um...he literally just walked away. Would you like his cell phone number? It'd probably be easier to reach him there. Oh, you have it? OK. Well, hope you can get a hold of him. Goodbye.
Sum: Sum Guy here! Ma'am, that call didn't sound personal. Can I, a member of the prying media, please get any information on who called and why?
Woman: It was another person calling for Mr. Duke. This time, it was a woman....
Fade to black.
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Post by brokenrose on Jan 15, 2008 10:59:05 GMT -5
(Match recorded Dec. 30th) Finkel: The following match is scheduled for one fall and is for the EWT Ox Division title. Introducing first, the challenger... * “Ooo Chavo!” * *From out of the EWT locker room comes the bandanna wearing, poncho clad Chavo Guerrero. He walks down to the ring, looking none to pleased at the reception he's receiving from the EWT crowd. He gets into the center of the ring, dropping to a kneed position, and does his trademark “come on” taunt to the crowd. He's obviously not winning points.* Finkel: From El Paso, Texas... Weighing in at 210 lbs... CHAVO GUERRERO! *Chavo pauses to bask in the boos before taking off his poncho and climbing at turnbuckle. He points out into the crowd taunting them, while reaching up to his bandanna. As he throws it in the direction of the crowd, his music fades.* * Just then “Rose” begins to play to cheers. * Finkel: And making her way to the ring.. Weighing in at 142 lbs... Now residing in Osaka, Japan... She is the current Ox Division Champion, BR JURI SADAMOTO! *The fans survey arena for the Broken Rose of EWT, as per her usual entrance. But are shocked to find that she comes out of the normal entrance way. One look at her tells the reason why. It would seem that she was hiding a lot pain from her match with Vivian at Season Beatings, as she heavily favors her knee. In her hand, she holds the cane given to her by her best friend. Obviously, that gift appears to be a godsend as she uses it to help her all the way down to the ring. She reaches the step and lays the cane down upon them along with her Ox Division belt. Then, using her upper body strength, she pulls herself into the ring. Just as she's attempting to rise, Chavo charges as smashes into her in the corner. The boos almost shake the arena. He kicks and kicks at her knee, causing her to buckle & fall down against the ropes. The referee calls for the bell to ring and the music cuts abruptly.* *Chavo lays into her with a few mudhole stomps to the chest before backing away to deliver a Dropkick to her upper body. She gasps and droops her head forward, leaving some in the arena to question why she was allowed to wrestle in such a condition. Chavo laughs and points at her crumpled form. He walks back over to her, ignoring referee directions, and reaches downward to pull her up.* WOO! *Suddenly, she springs to life and chops Chavo right across the face. He yelps, falling backward. She takes advantage by using the ropes to help her up. BR scans the situation and decides her course. Ascending the top ropes, there is only one thing in her mind. She's going to do the one thing Synthy warned her not to do, a TIMFA. But as she tries to balance herself on one good leg amidst the cheers, Chavo bumps the ropes, sending her sprawling to the mat. She crashes down, on her left side to protect her injured knee in a desperate attempt. The crowd gaps in shock. And Chavo licks his lips. Finally, he's going to be a champion.* *He wastes no time pulling on her right leg, extending it completely, and kicks the back of her knee. She thrashes her free leg & body in response. But this only allows Chavo to grab her other leg! He grins and rolls her over with little resistance. He locks in a Boston Crab! Juri squirms in pain at the ropes, just barely out of her reach. She tries to pull herself toward them, but Chavo only drags her back. She jumps with her upper body at time. But no such luck. Finally, she arches her back and blindly swings her elbows one at a time at his kidney area. The desperate action pays off, as Chavo release her. Knowing the longer she's in the ring, the more trouble she's in, she rolls away and gets to the ropes. As she tries to pull herself up, Chavo dashes towards her. Somehow sensing this she wisely ducks down, pulling the ropes with her. Guerrero sails over the ropes landing hard on the outside. The injured champion stands for the first time, aided by the rolls. Sadamoto goes to put weight on her right leg but almost gasps from the jolt of pain. Regardless, she bites her lip and walks over to the center of the ring. Apparently she's going to try to work the pain out until the leg numbs itself. Or until she passes out from it. Whatever comes first.* *At the count of 6, Chavo enters back into the ring. He wastes not a second trying to get on the offense again. Dashing at Juri, he goes for a Clothesline. But she ducks and catches him on the rebound with a jumping soccer like kick to his chest. He crashes backward. While she swings her right leg around and climbs back up to her feet. Just as she does, he's there to greet her. He punches her in the jaw. She responses with a vicious chop to the face. Another punch. And yet another chop, this time to the throat. He chokes, and she runs as best she can to the ropes. As she comes back for her Rose Lariato, he Drop Toe Holds her to the ground. Immediately he goes for the leg yet again as she kicks and tries to free herself. One hard shot from her left heel and Chavo goes down. She rolls to the ropes again and pulls herself back up. Just as she turns back to Chavo, he hits her with a Suplex. He holds on and rolls back to his feet, practically pulling her up with him to hit another. He rolls yet again to boos. Only this time it's taking him a long time to pull her to her feet. He struggles and finally does so. He goes for the Suplex. But it's blocked! He tries again! Blocked! She hits him a few times with her left. She goes for a Suplex, it's blocked. He tries, hitting a few shots of his own. She blocks it! She hits a few more times again. He goes to block but stops, maybe thinking she'll never be able to Suplex him.* *With all her might, she pulls him up and has him in the air barely. But then she quickly grabs his legs and drops down! SHE HITS SYNFUL INTENTIONS ON CHAVO! The crowd gasps then explodes in cheers. She quickly crawls over to him and covers.* 1! 2! 3! Finkel: And your winner of this match and still Ox Division Champion... BR JURI SADAMOTO! *She takes not a moment to celebrate as she is handed her title back. She rolls outside the ring and grabs her cane, needing on it now more than ever. It would seem that she's in a hurry to get on the plane back to Japan to spend the holidays with Synthy. Or maybe to hide her weakness from the crowd. Whatever the case, while injured, she was able to beat a worthy challenger and has retained her title for a second time.*
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