Chained Up

[Toom E. Guci]

* Chained Up starts off with pyros galore & Toomi Bischoff standing in the ring with a microphone in hand. *

TB: Greetings everybody & welcome to the first ever chain themed pay per view. EWT is proud to present Chained Up, a history making event for each & every one of you who has shelled out a s*** load of money for my pockets & nobody else’s pockets. And now, it is time for the opening bout for all to see. I want these f***ing curtain jerkers to learn just how exactly it feels to try & keep the fans in their seats. For you see, Mike Ragnal, tonight you will be the one who sets an example for all the curtain jerkers right here in the Extreme Wrestlecrap Threaderation. And just think, you will actually get a chance for greatness if you do win by facing the Tri-State Champion, Billy Ubermark. And to stick with the theme of chains, enjoy being a b*** in a dog collar.


Announcer: Ladies & gentlemen, this is the opening contest for the Chained Up & is for the EWT Tri-State Championship. Making his way to the ring first making his EWT pay per view debut, here is Mike Ragnal. And his opponent is the current reigning EWT Tri-State Champion, Billy Ubermark.

* Both men get in the ring as the Dog Collared Chain lies in the ring. Ubermark looks down at the collar & shrugs his shoulders. Ragnal grabs the collar & fastens it to his neck. Ubermark picks up the collar but Ragnal yanks on the chain, pulling it out of Billy’s hands. Mike grabs the chain & charges at Billy, but Billy sidesteps out of Mike’s way & nails a dropkick on an unexpected Mike. Billy grabs Mike & nails a snap suplex. Billy runs to the ropes & climbs, quickly connecting with a moonsault. Billy grabs the chain & gets on top of Mike, wrapping the chain around his hand & starts beating on Mike’s face, busting him open. Billy releases the chain & wraps the chain around Mike’s throat, flinging him over the top rope, choking him out. The referee tries to get Billy to release it & Billy lets go of the chain, as Mike crashes to the ground. Billy climbs to the top rope & leaps off, nailing a corkscrew moonsault to Mike on the ground. The referee climbs out of the ring & instructs Billy that he can’t win the match without the dog collar connected. Billy grabs the collar at first & hesitates, then places it around his neck. Billy grabs a bloody Mike as Mike slowly comes to his senses. Billy goes to throw Mike into the barricade, but Mike manages to reverse it as he collapses to his feet. Mike gets to his feet as Billy goes over the barricade. Mike grabs the chain & yanks on it, causing Billy to flip back over the barricade. Mike starts to wrap the chain around his neck & runs at Billy, nailing a clothesline on Billy. Mike grabs Billy again & tosses him into the ring. Mike climbs into the ring the same way & climbs to the top rope. Mike looks down at Billy & leaps off, nailing a High Voltage. Mike quickly gets to his senses & grabs Billy for a cover as the referee counts 1-2. *

* Billy manages to grab hold of the rope, as the referee is about to drop for 3. Mike gets up & starts to celebrate as if he won. Billy grabs the chain & lifts it up, crotch chopping Mike with the chain. Billy gets to his feet & hits a standing Hurricanarama on Mike, sending him crashing into the corner. Billy grabs a bloody Billy & lifts him out of the corner, as he starts to throw chops to his chest & the fans “woo” along. Mike staggers out of the corner with welts on his chest. Billy runs at Mike & jumps in the air attempting a bulldog but Mike manages to hit the brakes & turns it into a back body drop. Mike runs the ropes & hits a Lionsault onto Billy. A bloody Mike gets to his feet all cocky like & slides out of the ring. He grabs a chair from outside the ring & heads back into the ring, bringing the chair crashing down onto Billy’s back. Mike drops the chair down on Billy’s back & drops a legdrop on the chair. Billy grabs his back & rolls in pain. Mike grabs Billy again & throws him into the turnbuckle. Mike runs & nails a dropkick at a corner prone Billy. Mike grabs Billy again & flips him over the top rope. Billy crashes down on the ground as Mike climbs the top rope. Billy slowly manages to get to his feet as Mike drops down with a double axe handle. Billy manages a punch to the gut of Mike. Billy grabs Mike & runs his head into the ring post as more blood comes from his wound. Billy holds onto Mike & hits a Neckbreaker. Billy throws Mike into the Polie-ville Announce Table. Billy gets Mike onto the announce table & climbs on himself. Billy grabs a hold of Mike’s shoulders & leaps into the air, nailing a Hurricanarama off the Polie-ville Announce Table & crashing hard to the ground. Billy rips a monitor off the announce table & throws it down onto Mike, then leaps off with an elbow drop. Billy grabs Mike & throws him back into the ring. Billy grabs Mike & sets him up, nailing the Virgin Sacrifice & covering him for the 1-2-3. Billy takes his collar off & grabs his championship belt from the referee. *

* Billy climbs the ropes & stands on the second rope as the fans boo him. Just then, he’s grabbed from behind with a back suplex. Moxie is standing above Billy & grabs the chain, wrapping it around his fist. Moxie grabs Billy by the hair & kneels down on him, punching him multiple times until he’s busted open. Moxie drops the chain & grabs Billy, hitting a double underhook backbreaker. Moxie grabs the dog collar chain & ties it up in the corner. Moxie throws Billy into the chain back first & runs at him, connecting a Stinger Splash on him in the corner. As Billy wobbles forward, Moxie hits a Black Dragon DDT. Moxie grabs the Tri State Championship & kneels down on the chest of a bloody Billy.*

Moxie: It’s not about this. It’s not even close to this damn belt.

* Moxie smashes the belt into Billy’s face, knocking him unconscious & leaves the ring. EMT’s rush out to check on Billy as he lay a bloody mess in the ring & the Tri State Championship lays on his chest. *

[Toom E. Guci]

*Camera is now focused on Gorilla & Ventura after that tremendous altercation*

Gorilla Monsoon: Whatta blockbuster of an opener! These fans are going bananas!

Jesse "The Body" Ventura: Monsoon, you're a pushover.

GM: And what is that suppose to mean?

JV: It meeeeans.....You're easy to please.

GM: *shakes his head* You've been acting very smug since you're "prospect" has been getting attention here in the EWT, Jess.

JV: Listen Magilla Gorilla it's called confidence & it's something you seem to apparently lack. And I see jealousy also runs in your evolution chart as well.

GM: *shakes head again* Jess, enough of the shenanigans

JV: *interrupts* I'M NOT PLAYING ANY SHANANIGANS!!!

GM: Jess, enough. Let's get to the point. WHO is this new superstar that's coming to the EWT? JUST tell us?

JV: HELL NO MONSOON! Just like all the other pukeamaniacs out there you're gonna have to wait until later tonight & find out. Hahaha.

GM: Don't say I tried folks. Let's go backstage with Craig DeGeorge!

[Toom E. Guci]

* Camera shoots backstage as Craig DeGeorge is with Mercenary & Trish Stratus. *

Craig DeGeorge: Mercenary, it’s good to see you & Trish are in good health.

Merc: You know what buddy, shut the hell up. I came here because I have a match & Bischoff says he’s got some sort of addition to this match.

Craig: Well, Mercenary, I have to get to the issues here. About jz’s attack on Trish Stratus & the attempted homicide charges he…

Merc: Shut up about that. We are not here to talk about that. Jz isn’t even worth my time anymore now that he’s behind bars where he belongs. For you see, I am the f***ing Mercenary & I back down from nobody.

* Just then, Spaz walks in with a chain strapped to his wrist. *

Spaz: Well Mercenary, it seems we have a match tonight involving this here chain. What do you say we start it right here, right now?

Merc: Spaz, Spaz, Spaz…bring it on b***.

* Toomi Bischoff walks in & interrupts both men. *

TB: Gentlemen, gentlemen, is this how you should act in front of a lady? You’ll offend Craig here. Now, it seems you both come here, whining about wanting this & that & other things. You know what? This match starts NOW!!!

* Toomi signals for a bell as a referee comes into frame & both men start brawling backstage. Spaz gets the upperhand with a knee to the gut as Bischoff grabs the microphone again. *

TB: Oh, & if Trish gets involved Mercenary…YOU’RE FIRED!!!

* Toomi Bischoff walks out of the room as Spaz grabs Merc & throws him into the backdrop. Spaz grabs Merc by the wrist & straps the chain to his wrist. Spaz then grabs Merc into a headlock & runs towards a beam support. Merc is able to hit the brakes & sends Spaz crashing into the beam. Merc grabs a handful of hair & repeatedly smashes Spaz’s head into the beam. Merc releases Spaz & kicks him multiple times. Merc lifts up Spaz & grabs him into a bodyslam & tosses him in a throwaway slam that sends Spaz crashing into the wall. Merc looks around & grabs a trashcan. Merc places the trashcan over Spaz’s head & starts whipping the chain on the can. Merc then stomps on the trashcan, smashing a hole in it as his boot collides with the side of Spaz’s head. Merc looks around again & eyes a pipe. Merc starts heading for the pipe when Spaz is able to low blow Merc using the chain, then trips him up. Merc goes crashing down to the ground. Spaz gets to his feet & grabs Merc & eyes a window. Spaz sends Merc crashing through the window into the parking garage. Spaz climbs through the window & grabs the chain. He starts whipping Merc on the back with the chain. Spaz wraps the chain around his fist & starts beating Merc, busting him open. Merc manages a sunset flip reversal as the ref counts 1 but a kick out followed. *

* A bloody Merc gets to his feet first as Spaz follows. Merc nails a clothesline to Spaz & wraps the chain around his fist & starts beating on Spaz. Spaz is busted open as Merc gets to his feet. Merc lifts up Spaz & hits a belly-to-belly suplex onto a car. Merc climbs onto the car & grabs Spaz, setting him up for a Payoff. Spaz manages to escape with a thumb to the eye. Spaz grabs Merc & nails a Shockwave on the hood of the car. Spaz goes for a cover as Merc manages to get a shoulder up close to 3. Spaz gets up, frustrated. Spaz wraps the chain around Merc’s throat & starts choking him. Merc struggles to his feet off the hood as Spaz jerks him back. Merc manages to his feet again as Spaz is about to jerk the chain, Merc grabs hold of the chain, jerking with all his might. The chain comes loose from Spaz’s hands as Spaz screams extremely loud in pain. Merc takes the chain off his neck & heads over to a fallen Spaz & starts kicking at his arm as he screams in pain. Merc goes for a cover as Spaz manages to get his good shoulder up close to 3. The referee checks on Spaz, who doesn’t dare give up. Merc climbs on top of the roof of a car & jumps off with a double axe handle crashing down on Spaz’s head. Spaz crashes to the concrete. Merc looks down at Spaz in disgust & grabs him, lifting him up. Suddenly, both men are nailed from behind by a car & fly up onto the hood. Merc crashes through the windshield, shattering it as Spaz flips completely over the hood, roof, & trunk of the car onto the concrete. The car stops as the door opens & out steps jzbadblood. Jz looks at his work as a bloody Merc lays unconscious in the front seat of his car after going through the windshield. A smile grows across jz’s face as the referee checks on both men, ruling that neither Spaz nor Mercenary could continue. The match is ruled No Contest as jz starts walking back towards the locker room area while EMT’s are busy this pay per view, checking on their second & third victims. Spaz is diagnosed with a dislocated shoulder as well as various other injuries & Merc received a concussion after going through the windshield.

[Toom E. Guci]

* Mike Ragnal is backstage getting stitched up when a familiar EWT face walks by the room. Sievetronix pops his head into the room. *

sieve: Well, looks like we got some new blood around here…literally. Can’t hold your own in the ring against a champion, I take it. Such a shame. I take it you’re going to be jerking the curtains for quite some time. Meanwhile, here I come back to the EWT to reclaim what was rightfully mine. The EWT Championship.

Mike: Oh shut up, you has been. At least I’m out there, earning my dues. You disappear for months on end & expect to get treated better then me, Mike Ragnal? Not going to happen buddy. I gave 100% out there & you haven’t even wrestled how long? You’re a has been. A washed out ex-champion. And me? I am the future. I am the innovator. I am Hardcore!!!

Sieve: Hardcore? Innovator? Can you handle this then?

* sieve rushes into the room & attacks Mike with a kendo stick across the head. *

sieve: I’ll give you innovative hardcore.

* sieve shoves the trainer out of the room & closes the door. He sticks a chair in front of it to block it as folks are pounding on the door. Sieve grabs alcohol from the medical table & douses the exam table with it. Sieve grabs a lighter from his pocket & ignites the alcohol, setting the exam table on fire. Mike gets to his feet, bleeding again & sieve nails another kendo stick shot. Sieve grabs Mike & scoops him up, bodyslamming him on the burning exam table as Mike lets out a loud scream that can be heard outside the door. Suddenly, a fire axe breaks through the door as security rushes in. sieve just shoves them aside & speaks.*

sieve: I was just leaving anyways. I needed to get some marshmallows at the grocery store.

*sieve walks out as folks rush into the room to check on Mike’s condition & extinguish the burning exam table. Cut back to the ring. *


Gorilla Monsoon: Right now after many months of mystery & intrigue we are FINALLY going to find out what that humongous stone is all about. Jesse Ventura has been alluding to it for weeks & finally he is ready to reveal the person & or persons behind that ominous stone. Inconspicuous by it's absence tonight Jesse "The Body" is at the entrance ramp ready to fill us in about this unique & mysterious stone we've seen for many, many weeks. Let's take it away to Jesse "The Body!"

*Camera is directed to Jesse "The Body" Ventura at the entrance ramp alone with mic in hand*

Jesse "The Body" Ventura: That's right, Gorilla! I've said it for weeks that I know the mystery behind the stone & TONIGHT! Being the broadcast journalist that I am I'm going to be the FIRST to uncover who is INSIDE this stone tonight. But before we get any further let me introduce to YOU the man behind who is inside the stone DOCTOR FREDERIC DELAVIER!!!!

*Out from the curtains comes power walking a rather built man with very short black hair & a black handlebar mustache in a white track suit*

JV Let me be the first to welcome you, Dr. Delavier!

Dr. Frederic Delavier: *in French accent* Oui, Monsieur Ventura. For many weeks a rather large stone of marble has been placed by this very entranceway for all the fans to see & be amazed at. But tonight is the final night & you shall all be treated to what is inside this colossal stone.

JV: They've all be waiting Dr. Delavier, but since these fans are not as smart as you & I can you please explain why a stone & why is there someone in it?

DFD: Well Monsieur Ventura, it is quite simply. I have a doctorate in MUSCLETOLOGY!!! And I have worked on every aspect of my body & have gotten it to such a height that it cannot be duplicated. But unfortunately I am only human & limited meaning I can only get to such a degree. So for many days & nights I have worked long onerous hours to create a man that would even surpass me in having the ultimate body. So after many months & years in my laboratory my hard work has finally paid off. Like Michelangelo I too have realized that this has been no mere block of stone but inside has been a truly MAGNIFICENT creation waiting to be made & that is just what I did. LIKE GOD I have created the most MAGNIFICENT creation to ever grace the world. Something in my own image. Something that will not only revolutionize the world of professional wrestling but...the entire world. So without further ado may I introduce my creation......

*The lights dim as the choir gets significantly louder, singing in a normal tone, as the stone is carted to where Ventura & Dr. Delavier are standing by 2 men dressed in Roman tunics. But there is something strange unlike the other times the stone is looking more like it's made of Styrofoam, but painted to look like the original stone*

DFD: Ladies & gentleman may I introduce to you my creation.......FLEX MAGNIFICENT!!!!!!!!

*The choir bursts into a rendition of "Hallelujah" as they sing even more louder as the 2 men in tunics pick up small hammers & picks & act like they are chipping away at the stone which tumbles over easily since it is made of Styrofoam.

Inside a great white spotlight comes from underneath a man crouching down with a white rhinestone cape who slowly rises up to open his cape up like Batman revealing an extraordinary freakish physique that surpasses Big Poppa Pump's by light years that could've only been achieved by steroids. He is also wearing a white g-string that is waaaaay to revealing causing both Ventura & Delavier to turn away for a bit, with white boots that have points on the back*

Gorilla: WHOOAH What an incredible specimen. I have never seen such a physical display in my life.

*Ventura holds the mic up to Magnificent as he is still holding his cape open like Batman as the choir sings softly as we may hear what Mr. Magnificent has to say*

Flex Magnificent: *in a German accent* I have arrived. Ahfter many weeeeks of wondah your mystery has beeeen suhlved. I yam nahthing yooou have evah seen before. I yam de most magkneeficent display of human perfection evah. I am a genetic superman da werld has nevah seen & I have come here to rekindle a flame that has been out fo many yeeears. I yam undefeeated in every competition I have evah participated in. I yam a World Bodybuilding Federation Champion. But after many years of Maaaagkneeficence I grew tired of defeating everything dat has come my way until a good friend of mine who was impressed by my work for him in the WBF, a MR. VINCE MCMAHON offered me a top spot in the World Rustling Entertaaainment. I said................"NO! NOT YET!" As I achieeeved this magkneeeficent body by having it chisseled to magkneeeficence peice by peice I too would like to start my professional rustling career from the bottom to the top. Peeice by peeeeice. When I decided where to start I knew I had to start somewhere where I can hone my new found rustling skills to the same magkneeficence as my body & once I saw the EWT I was signed immediately. As this my entrance into the EWT.....As Regis Philbin said at the first WBF Championship compeetiotion that I won...."This is the beginning of a revolution." So may the revolution begin & MAY THE NEW ERA OF MAGKNEEFICENCE COMMENSE!!!!!!

*Flex flexes for the crowd as fireworks....or....since it's the EWT.....sparklers are lit & handed to the members of the audience, Flex steps off his podium & flexes some more as his manager & Ventura are elated & showing him off*

Gorilla Monsoon *back again*: Whoooah I can't believe what we have just seen, folks. What an incredible announcement & addition to the EWT roster. But can this "genetic superman" as he calls himself handle the competition in the EWT? Will this bodybuilder adopt easily to the world of professional wrestling? I have no idea folks, but we'll find out soon enough. Let’s go back to the ring.

[Toom E. Guci]

Announcer: This next contest is for the EWT Ox Division Championship. Coming to the ring first is the Unofficial Gene Rayburn Champion. Here is Ultimo Chocula. And his opponent is the reigning Ox Division Champion. Here is Dave Adams.

* Both men get to the ring & show off their championship belts in separate corners. The chain lay in the middle of the ring. Dave looks down at the chain & starts to object to the referee about the use of a chain. UC grabs the chain with no objections & puts it on his wrist. As the referee is arguing with Dave, UC is attacked from behind by a chair shot. As UC goes down, Pza is standing above him, holding a chair. Pza grabs UC & lands a Release German Suplex on him. Pza grabs the chain & wraps it around his fist & starts pounding away on UC, busting him open before the bell even rings. Pza drops the chain as the referee rushes over to stop him. Pza kicks the referee & throws him out of the ring. Dave sits in the corner with a smile on his face, holding the Ox Division Championship. Pza grabs UC again & sets him up, nailing a Smark-Driver. Pza looks down at UC & brushes his brow down at him, walking out of the ring. Dave gets off the ropes & heads over, grabbing his portion of the chain, strapping it to his waist. Dave climbs out of the ring & helps the referee to his feet, brushes him off, & takes the Ox Division belt off from his waist. Dave brushes it off & sets it down on the Columbian Announce Table. The referee calls for the bell as Dave climbs back into the ring & looks down on UC. Dave smiles & covers UC. The referee calls 1-2 & UC shocks everybody & kicks out. Dave looks around, shocked. UC throws a punch at Dave as he turns his head back. Dave falls back hard as UC gets to his feet. Dave gets to his feet as blood trickles down from his forehead. UC holds his hand up, to show that he was able to wrap the chain around his fist while Dave was being cocky & taking his time. UC gets all psyched up & grabs Dave, throwing punches & busting him open wider. UC releases the chain & nails a standing dropkick that sends Dave flipping over the top rope. UC runs, landing a Cannonball Run to the outside on Dave. UC gets to his feet & runs his hands across his face to see the blood on his hands. UC lets out a scream of rage. *

* UC grabs Dave, who low blows him. Dave grabs UC’s head & runs it into the ring post. Dave grabs UC & hits a German Suplex. Dave starts kicking at UC & grabs the chain, wrapping it around UC’s throat. Dave starts choking UC. Dave releases the chain & tosses UC into the ring. Dave slides into the ring & grabs UC, throwing him into the ropes. Dave hits a Lou Thesz Press with punches. UC manages a reversal out & gets to his feet. UC goes for a Rolling Thunder but Dave gets his knees up. Dave gets to his feet & applies a Boston Crab. UC manages to get to the ropes, thus breaking the hold. Dave starts getting frustrated. Dave grabs UC & wraps the chain around his neck, tossing him over the top rope & hanging him. Dave drops the chain, sending UC crashing to the ground. Dave climbs the top rope & drops an elbow on UC. UC manages to roll out of the way, as Dave crashes to the ground. UC struggles to his feet next to the Columbian Announce Table. Dave gets to his feet as well when UC grabs something from the announce table & throws a white, powdery substance in the face of Dave. Dave gets temporarily blinded as UC grabs the Ox Division Championship, crashing it across Dave’s face. Dave gets busted open a bit more as UC tosses Dave onto the Columbian Announce Table. Dave gets on the announce table & nails a Sugar Fix that sends both men crashing through the announce table. UC grabs Dave & tosses him back in the ring. UC slides back in the ring as well. UC goes for a cover but Dave manages the foot on the rope. Dave rolls out of the ring & grabs a pitcher of water, dousing his face to get the white, powdery substance off his face. UC rolls out of the ring as Dave swings the pitcher of water at UC. UC manages to duck & lands a super kick. UC jumps on the apron & hits a moonsault off the apron. UC grabs Dave & tosses him back in the ring. UC goes for another pin attempt but Dave kicks out. UC grabs Dave, but Dave nails a thumb to the eye. Dave throws UC into the ropes & connects with a Hurricanarama. Dave grabs UC & tosses him into the corner. Dave lifts UC up to the top rope & climbs to the top rope himself. Dave nails a German Suplex off the top rope. Dave goes for a cover as UC barely manages his foot to the rope. Dave gets frustrated & climbs out of the ring, grabbing a steel chair. UC manages to his feet as Dave swings the chair. UC ducks & the chair comes crashing down on the referee, sending him out. UC nails a super kick again, grabbing Dave & planting him on the chair with a ddt. UC hits a standing moonsault & goes for a cover. UC can’t find the referee & motions 1-2-3-4-5-6-7 as the fans count along. Just then, a familiar music is heard. The fans all look up & see the DNN insignia on the ToomiTron. UC gets to his feet with a strange look on his face when he’s nailed from behind by a chair shot. Dorf is now standing above him with a chair. Dorf grabs UC & nails a gut wrench suplex on him. Dorf then hits a belly-to-belly suplex onto the chair. Dorf takes the chair into the center of the ring & grabs UC, hitting him with a Dorf Bottom on the chair. Dorf grabs Dave & drags him over for the cover & looks down, making the belt motion around his waist. Dorf leaves the ring & grabs the referee, sliding the referee back into the ring. Dorf starts heading up the entryway, & looks into the camera to speak:*

dorf: DNN is proud to report that dorf is at a 90% recovery & almost ready to take what belongs to me…the Ox Division Championship.

* Back in the ring, a groggy referee counts 1-2-3 & declares Dave Adams the victor, as Dave rolls out of the ring & grabs his championship belt. He starts heading towards the entryway when he finally catches a glimpse of dorf. Dorf just stares him down from the top of the entryway & heads into the back as we head backstage to Craig DeGeorge with Miss Redneck Woman.*

[Toom E. Guci]

CD: I am here with the newest sensation in the EWT Woman’s Division, Miss Redneck Woman.

MRW: Shut up, you idiot. I should be in this pay per view. But no, I’m not. And why? Because there’s a woman out there holding what’s rightfully mine…the EWT Girl Next Door Championship. You see, I been watching the EWT since it’s birth & I am outraged by what I have seen. A gynecologist as their champion? And she hasn’t even defended the title in how many days? What the hell ever happened to the 7-day title defense clause? I should be in that ring right now, holding that belt after beating Dr. Hillary Clitton to a pulp. Do you understand?

CD: Yes, I understand. But, if you were to compete tonight, it would mean you would be in a chain match.

MRW: So what. I’m not in here to be a pretty face eye candy that Bischoff could just parade around. I am here to be taken seriously. Do you know what serious means? It’s time the women were treated as equals & it’s time a new Girl Next Door Champion was crowned. So, I open this challenge to Mr. Bischoff. What’s it going to be? A serious women’s division with a real champion? Or eye candy that the fans don’t want to see? I beat Christy Hemme. Hell, I beat my idol, Lita. Who else do I need to beat for Bischoff to understand the fans want a serious women’s division? This interview is over.

CD: Strong words from a strong woman. Sounds like Mr. Bischoff has his work cut out for him. Let’s get back to the ring.

[Toom E. Guci]

Announcer: The following contest, scheduled for ONE fall, is a chain match...and it is for the EWT WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE!!!

*Unorigino is seen backstage getting ready to step through the curtain. He looks focused, ready to go. The Bouncing Souls hit, as we cut to a crowd shot. The crowd goes nuts, and Unorigino charges out to a huge pop! Unorigino and his fans all sing along to the song. Unorigino slides into the ring and poses at the corner. Flashbulbs go off throughout the arena, fans taking pictures all over the place. The ref attaches one end of the chain to Unorigino's arm.

Howard Finkle: Introducing first, being accompanied by his Sexy Translator, from Tijuana, Mexico, the Unoriginal Luchadore...EL UNORIGINO!!!!!

Crowd: OLE! OLE OLE OLEEE!!!! OOLLEEE!!!! O-OOLLLEEEEE!!!!!!!

*Addy Bomb's music hits, and the champ comes out to a huge ovation as well. Addy holds up the World Title and says, "This is mine!" Addy comes out to the ring, slapping hands with his fans. Addy slides into the ring and poses at all four corners. Again, flashbulbs go off throughout the arena.

Howard Finkle: And his opponent, the EWT World HEAVYWEIGHT Champion, ADDY BOMB!

*The other end of the chain is attached to Addy Bomb's arm, the bell rings, and the match is underway. Addy and Unorigino lock up, Addy applies a side headlock, and Unorigino whips Addy into the ropes. Addy comes back, Unorigino realizes what's about to happen and quickly sidesteps a POUNCE! Unorigino then dropkicks Addy from behind, gets up and dropkicks him in the chest. Unorigino gets up, but Addy grabs the chain and pulls Unorigino in for a clothesline. Addy then picks up Unorigino and puts the luchadores head between his legs. Addy hoist Unorigino up for a powerbomb, but Unorigino slides off Addy's shoulders and stands behind Addy. Unorigino grabs Addy from behind, and runs Addy to the ropes, rolling him up for a 2-count. Addy kicks out and gets to his feet, as Unorigino runs the ropes with a flying cross body block for another 2. Addy and Unorigino get to their feet, Unorigino quickly climbs to the top rope, flies off for a hurricanarama, but Addy counters into a powerbomb! Addy picks up Unorigino and sets him up for a powerslam, but Unorigino breaks free, grabs Addy from behind and improvises a Lungblower! Unorigino quickly covers, but only gets 2. Unorigino climbs the ropes yet again, Addy gets to his feet. Unorigino flies with a moonsault, but Addy catches Unorigino and delivers the powerslam! Addy covers, Unorigino kicks out at 2. Unorigino slowly gets up; Addy whips him into the corner, and charges in with a clothesline. Unorigino crumbles to the mat. Addy senses that his work is just about done. Addy picks Unorigino up. Unorigino seems to be out on his feet. Addy runs the ropes and hits a vicious POUNCE!!!!!!!!!! Unorigino flies across the ring and his lifeless body slides to the outside. Addy poses for his fans a bit, as Unorigino lies outside the ring. Addy then realizes that there are no count outs in a chain match, so he slides out of the ring and picks up Unorigino. Addy tosses the luchadore into the ring and slides in after him. Addy goes for the pin.

ONE...
TWO...
THR-No, Unorigino's foot's on the bottom rope!

*Addy picks up Unorigino and runs the ropes again. This time, Unorigino collapses to the mat before the POUNCE could occur. Addy shrugs and goes for a pin, but only gets a 2-count. Addy picks up Unorigino yet again, wanting to put the nail in the coffin with one more POUNCE. Addy runs the ropes, charges towards Unorigino, Unorigino leaps and nails the HURRICANRANA! Suddenly, Unorigino's fans explode with enthusiasm, singing the Bouncing Souls. Addy gets up and charges Unorigino, who lands a hiptoss. Addy gets up again and charges, but Unorigino back body drops Addy out to the floor. Unorigino slowly picks himself up, barely lets out an "iOLE!" The crowd cheers as Unorigino grabs the top rope and hits a PLANCHA! on Addy Bomb. Unorigino has no energy to showboat, and both men are laid out on the outside.

It’s a long couple of minutes before Addy gets up and shakes the cobwebs out. He picks up Unorigino and slides him into the ring. Addy then slides into the ring himself. Addy picks up Unorigino and puts him on the top rope. Addy follows him up, looking like he's ready to Superplex Unorigino into oblivion! The crowd is on its feet, as Addy's Superplex isn't happening. Unorigino chops Addy in the chest repeatedly. Unorigino then grabs the chain and hits Addy in the chest with it. Unorigino grabs Addy and miraculously hits the BRAINBUSTAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Both men collapse to the mat, as the crowd rallies them to get up. Unorigino rolls on top of Addy. The ref counts.

ONE...
TWO...
THR-Addy kicks out!

*Both men slowly get to their feet. Addy hits a clothesline, Unorigino gets up. Addy gets another clothesline, but Unorigino slowly gets up again. Addy attempts a third clothesline, Unorigino ducks and grabs Addy at once, hitting an EXPLODER SUPLEX! Both men are laid out on the mat. In a surprising display of resiliency, Addy kips up, and stands in the corner, waiting to POUNCE the life out of Unorigino. Unorigino gets to his feet and instinctively hits a SUPERKICK on Addy Bomb! Unorigino more or less collapses onto Addy and the ref counts...

ONE...
TWO...
THREE!

*The crowd pops huge! Sexy Translator climbs into the ring, and hugs Unorigino as he's laid out on the mat.

Howard Finkle: The Winner of the Match...and NEW World Heavyweight Champion, EL UNORIGINO!

*The crowd sings along to the Bouncing Souls. Unorigino slowly gets to his feet. He's being supported by Sexy Translator. Unorigino is handed the World Title. He looks stunned, as though he can't even believe he won. He hears the fans singing along, and a huge grin comes over Unorigino's face. Unorigino climbs up the turnbuckle, raising his World Title as high over his head as he can muster. The Nyrds come out to help Unorigino celebrate. They try a few times to hoist Unorigino up on their shoulders. Unorigino basically just shrugs, since they can't get him up. Instead, the Nyrds high five Unorigino. Addy Bomb gets to his feet at this point. Unorigino is there to meet him. Unorigino extends a hand to the former champ. Addy looks around at the cheering crowd. Addy shakes Unorigino's hand. Unorigino claps for the former champ, as Addy walks backstage. The fans are still adoring their new Champion. Unorigino asks for the microphone.

Unorigino: <broken English> Gracias, gracias...to all of you. I never imagined. Here I am...the new...World...Heavyweight...Champion!

*Crowd pops huge once again.

Unorigino: It feels so good, hearing you all chant for me. I really appreciate it. Gracias. You people...have made this night...for me. You people. Like I just said, I never imagined...I never imagined...<perfect English>...that you'd all fall for this!

*Unorigino quickly lands a Clothesline from Hell on Joel! He then grabs Mike and delivers...THE TURBONEGRO DESTROYER!

Unorigino rips off his mask...HE'S DSR!!!!!

DSR: At long last, I can end this miserable charade. Finally, I've proven just how f***ing GOOD I am to each and every one of you! Say "Goodbye" to <mock Spanish accent> EL UNORIGINO! And say "Welcome Back"...to the REAL LIFE A**HOLE!

*The crowd is damn near stunned silent. The small amount of people who can react let everyone know they are unhappy. Children in Unorigino t-shirts are crying. DSR and the sexy translator look out at the audience. They both have smug looks on their faces. DSR holds up HIS World Heavyweight Title.

COPYRIGHT 2005 EWT ENTERTAINMENT. Fade to black.