Post by Toom E. Guci on Jul 25, 2005 16:12:00 GMT -5
Marc Lloyd: Good evening ladies & gentlemen & welcome to the Third Bi-Annual Scammy Award Ceremony. I am your host, Mr. Marc Lloyd, & tonight we will once again bring to you not just the finest in the Extreme Wrestlecrap Threaderation, but the finest in Wrestlecrap, period. So, allow me to introduce to you our first presenter. From the accounting offices of Leward & Company, here is the man who counted all your votes, Gerald Leward.
GL: Thank you Marc. You know, it was a long, tedious task counting all the votes casted by you, the fans of EWT. And it was quite a challenge, as I ran out of fingers & toes to count on. And now, I am here to present the winner for the first category of Best EWT Gimmic & the nominees are:
And the award for Best EWT Gimmic after a close race goes to the current reigning EWT Champion, DSR as El Unorigino.
Announcer: And now to present our next award, here is Mr. T.
Mr. T: Hey foo, I been involved in wrestling once or twice. Hell, maybe like half a dozen times whenever Hulk Hogan needed star power. But that’s Ok, because Hulk was in Rocky III with me as well as 2 A-Team appearances. And I helped him in his storylines, which is why I am here to give to you the Scammy Award for Best Storyline, foo. And the nominees are:
And the winner of the award for the second straight award, El Unorigino. Man, that DSR foo is cleaning up tonight; maybe he can help me clean up that high school, too.
Announcer: And now to present the award for Best Celebrity Appearance is an everyday Joe...Joe Schmoe himself, William Kennedy Gould.
WKG: What is going on here? It’s the Scammy Awards, that’s what. And I a proud to be a part of by presenting not 1, but 2 awards for you all. See, I used to not be a celebrity. But once Spike TV got a hold of me, I got my 15-minutes of fame that are no over. Now, I am no longer a celebrity, but the nominees for Best Celebrity Appearance are & the nominees are:
And the award goes to David Letterman. You know, I have never been on his show when I had my 15-minutes. How bad is that? But, neither have the nominees for Worst Celebrity Appearance, & they are:
And the award for Worst Celebrity Appearance goes to somebody other then William Hung for once. From the hit movie Revenge of the Nerds, Ogre.
Announcer: And to present the next 2 awards involving guest appearance, here is 2-time author & radio talk show host, RD Reynolds.
RD: You know what? I know crap, trust me on that. And if I know crap, then it really is crap. Why? Because it was booked poorly. Luckily, the nominees for the first award I am about to give are not crap at all. As these are the nominees for Best Wrestling Guest Appearance:
And the award goes to…hopefully this man won’t be poisoned or fake a heart attack in the ring again, as it’s the Nature Boy Ric Flair.
But, these awards wouldn’t be these awards without Wrestlecrap. And these nominees for Worst Wrestling Guest Appearance are DEFINETLY worth a spot in Wrestlecrap history. And the nominees are:
And the winner is the man they used to call Mordecai.
Marc Lloyd: Wow, these have been some pretty good awards. But don’t worry folks, the best is yet to come. See, I’m used to conducting interviews, not hosting award shows. And that is why I am presenting the award for Best Wrestling Promo. And the nominees are:
And the award goes to DSR’s return at Chained Up. This guy is cleaning up his awards, that’s for sure. And now to present the next award, here is a man who needs no introduction so I won’t give him one.
* Some guy walks out as the fans in attendance yell:*
Fans: Who the f*** are you?
Guy: Thank you. I am so proud to be here & a part of EWT history. I hope to be able to some day make my debut in EWT, but until then I get to present to you the nominees of the Best Debut & they are:
And the award goes to Flex Magnificent & his stone. But I assure you, when I make my EWT debut, it will be much better.
Announcer: And now to present the next award is a man making his return to the EWT stage. Here is EWT Hall of Famer, Wonderful Wally Washington.
WWW: Wow. It is so wonderful to be back here for EWT. Does anybody have an apple? No, no, no, just kidding. But I am here to show you the nominees for Best EWT Return From Absence. You know, me doing this show should be up for the next Scammy Awards ceremony. But, for now, the nominees are:
And the winner is…you know, this guy may be cleaning up tonight but he is not as wonderful as me. But he is the EWT Champion, DSR.
Announcer: And now to present our next award is a former champion himself. Here is another EWT Hall of Famer, You Gene Lesnar.
YGL: Hello everybody. I’m You Gene. How are you? Bread makes me poop. And I like bread. We work together as a team. A tag team. Get it? Tag team. My award I am giving out is for Best Tag team. Oh boy, I’m so funny. And here ate the Mommy knees:
And the winners are The Nyrds. YEA!!! I like those guys. They’re cool & stuff.
Announcer: And now to present our next award is a man who’s never been champion a day in his life. Here is Barry Horrowitz.
BH: Hey, that’s messed up. I been a champion on the independent circuit. Just like the nominees here for Best EWT Champion:
Yeah, I can hang & beat those guys. Especially that chump former champion who got beat. You heard me…BEAT!! And if DSR were in this category, he would have gotten beat by him here, too. And since he isn’t, the winner is A-Bomb.
Announcer: And now to present our next award for Best Couple, here is Perry Saturn & Moppy.
PS: Your welcome. I love Moppy & she loves me. And that’s why we are here to tell you all about tall giraffes & how giraffes is what makes a real couple. And the nominees are:
And the winners have a giraffe in their living room, A-Bomb & Stevie Richards. Thank you, you’re welcome.
Announcer: And now to present the next award, here is Earl Hebner.
EH: First off, buy my shirts. Everybody should buy my shirts & support my store. And now, as a former referee who is out of a job, I wouldn’t have had a job if there wasn’t a match to referee. And a match is only as good as its competitors make it. Which is why I am here to present the award for Best Match. And the nominees are:
And the winner of the Best Match goes to…El Unorigino versus Addy Bomb at Chained Up.
Marc Lloyd: And we are just rolling along folks. To think, we are only half way to the half way point. And I get to present the award for Best Feud in EWT. The nominations go to:
And the winner in a surprising upset, Moxie versus Billy “the Virgin” Ubermark. And now to present our next award, here is the president of Cox Communications, Jason Bensohedge.
JB: Hi, I’m Jason Bensohedge of Cox Communication. Without my company, Cox cable, you fans wouldn’t be able to order the pay per views you see almost every other week it seems. That’s why I am here to present the award for Best EWT Pay Per View:
And the winner is the first all chain match pay per view, Chained Up.
Announcer: And to present the next award for Best Booker, here is Viva La Bam’s own, Don Vito:
DV: vgftfhjvfyuukfuriughiopyfydftyukvyufuigbuigf7ighfuigfy7irug cftydtygjhyfyuggfyuduklugyufuighuiogf uigfuguihliit78f6g gufuig7ifuigohrg uiguif7igf7iyigtug fy7yugiohy67f:
Abhjfhkg7itilgy fyfyuguirygjkn fhvyufuibvfui vygfuiobvguifyfukvg gfguigfuig (translation: And the winner is Toomiguci.)
Announcer: And now to present our next award, here is Weird Al Yankovic.
WAY: Hello. I’m Weird Al & when I am not eating hot dog Twinkies, I am spoofing songs. And in EWT, believe it or not, they spoof wrestlers as well as create their own wrestlers. But I get to present the award for Best Wrestling Spoof & the nominees are:
And the award goes to Addy Bomb: Beta Male. I need to write a song about this guy.
Announcer: ladies & gentlemen, I get to present the award for Best Wrestler Name & the nominees are:
And the winner is the man who loves limes, Limey. And now to present our next award, here is Alf.
Alf: Ha! It feels good to be back on TV again. And I am here to present the award for Best Stable. Funny thing is, there are barely any stables in EWT so there are only 3 nominees & they are:
And the winners are Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday. But what do you expect. DSR was El Unorigino & he was with those guys.
Announcer: Here to present our next award is the green machine himself, Kermit the Frog.
KtF: Hi ho, Kermit the Frog here. And I am here to present to you the Best Male EWT Superstar. The nominees are not easy being green, but they try very hard. And they are:
Hi ho, Kermit the Frog back again. And the winner is Billy “the Virgin” Ubermark. He truly knows it’s not easy being green.
Announcer: And the next presenter bringing to you the Best Female is the 40-year old virgin:
40: See what you have to look forward to Billy? Congratulations. These nominees are women who would say no to me if I were given the chance. And they are:
Mistress Mia
Diva-dorf
Miss Redneck Woman
Dr. Hillary Clitton [/center]
And the winner is Mistress Mia.
Marc Lloyd: Well folks, you will be glad to know the Super Glue in your seats will wear off soon & you will be free to leave since we are almost done. As we are now up to the Wrestlecrap portion of the awards. And I get to present to you the award for Poster We Miss the Most:
And the winner is the female wrestling superstar, Siren. And now to present our next award, here is Big Van Vader.
BVV: It’s time, it’s time, it’s signature time time time!!! And here are the nominees for Best Signature:
And the winner gets to go to Kuwait to appear on TV with me & that’s Golden Spike & his stripping girl. Let’s see her 1 more time. COME ON!! LET’S HEAR IT!! WOOF WOOF WOOF!!
Announcer: And here to present our next award is Paris Hilton.
PH: I’ve been invited back for a third award show & that’s hot. So are the nominees for Best Male Wrestlecrap Poster:
And the winner is Miserable Alcoholic. Now, that’s hot.
Announcer: And here to present the award for Best Female Poster is Jimmy Pop from the Bloodhound Gang.
JP: Woooo!!! I like girls. And I like them on posters. And I like these posters. And I want each & every one of them to kiss me as I talk about their nomination:
Woooo!!! Those are some hot chicks. Wonder what the winner will give me if they all kissed me? Because the winner is Millie.
Announcer: And now here are the nominees for the Overall Best Poster:
And the winner is lancers. Now, to present the next award, here is HHH.
HHH: You know, I enjoy my time on television. After all, I am the Game & it’s time to play the Game. That’s why I am glad to present this award & get more TV time. What is the Award I am giving? *envelop handed to HHH * What kind of joke is this? HHH Hog the Spotlight Award? This is an outrage. I didn’t marry Stephanie McMahon to be mocked on some kind of Internet website. This is an outrage. I will not do this. Screw all of you.
Announcer: Er, um, the nominees are:
And the winner is…Invader Dave. And now to present the next award, here is Hollywood Hulk Hogan.
Hogan: Hey bruthas. It’s great to have this award still going strong & named after me. This award truly means a lot to my Hulk-a-maniacs & me because it only takes a true great that says his prays, eats his vitamins, trains hard, & defends me until his dying breath. And the nominees are:
Well bruthas, once again the winner of this award is a man who truly is equivalent to Hulk-a-mania. He has nothing but good stuff to say about me & that man is asicjohnson. Asic-a-mania is running wild in Wrestlecrap, bruthas.
Marc Lloyd: I get to present the second to last award, as the final award is set-aside for one man to give. So here are the nominations for the Best Moderator. And the nominees are:
And allow me to present the winner of the award, as he’s about to present a very special award. Here is Toomiguci to present the Toomiguci Vanguard Award.
T: Thank you very much Marc. And may I add Marc? You’re fired. Get out of here. I am not here to present this award as Toomiguci. I am here to present this award as the Head of EWT to a truly great man. A man who is what every EWT superstar should see & say, “I want to be like him.” In the last 2 pay per views, he has shown all of you just why he is so damn good at what he does in & out of that ring. For you see, this man is the GREATEST EWT superstar & the GREATEST EWT Heavyweight Champion. Ladies & gentlemen, the recipient of the Toomiguci Vanguard Award, my friend & yours…Mr. DSR.
GL: Thank you Marc. You know, it was a long, tedious task counting all the votes casted by you, the fans of EWT. And it was quite a challenge, as I ran out of fingers & toes to count on. And now, I am here to present the winner for the first category of Best EWT Gimmic & the nominees are:
El Unorigino
The Miracle Kid obi
Billy “The Virgin” Ubermark
ape love
The Miracle Kid obi
Billy “The Virgin” Ubermark
ape love
And the award for Best EWT Gimmic after a close race goes to the current reigning EWT Champion, DSR as El Unorigino.
Announcer: And now to present our next award, here is Mr. T.
Mr. T: Hey foo, I been involved in wrestling once or twice. Hell, maybe like half a dozen times whenever Hulk Hogan needed star power. But that’s Ok, because Hulk was in Rocky III with me as well as 2 A-Team appearances. And I helped him in his storylines, which is why I am here to give to you the Scammy Award for Best Storyline, foo. And the nominees are:
Billy Ubermark goes to Mexico
Marcel Adams Death/Debut of David Adams
Mercenary versus jzbadblood
El Unorigino
Marcel Adams Death/Debut of David Adams
Mercenary versus jzbadblood
El Unorigino
And the winner of the award for the second straight award, El Unorigino. Man, that DSR foo is cleaning up tonight; maybe he can help me clean up that high school, too.
Announcer: And now to present the award for Best Celebrity Appearance is an everyday Joe...Joe Schmoe himself, William Kennedy Gould.
WKG: What is going on here? It’s the Scammy Awards, that’s what. And I a proud to be a part of by presenting not 1, but 2 awards for you all. See, I used to not be a celebrity. But once Spike TV got a hold of me, I got my 15-minutes of fame that are no over. Now, I am no longer a celebrity, but the nominees for Best Celebrity Appearance are & the nominees are:
Craig DeGeorge
Rudy Ray Moore
Ogre
David Letterman
Rudy Ray Moore
Ogre
David Letterman
And the award goes to David Letterman. You know, I have never been on his show when I had my 15-minutes. How bad is that? But, neither have the nominees for Worst Celebrity Appearance, & they are:
Ogre
Vin Diesel
Fat Girls Gone Wild
William Hung
Vin Diesel
Fat Girls Gone Wild
William Hung
And the award for Worst Celebrity Appearance goes to somebody other then William Hung for once. From the hit movie Revenge of the Nerds, Ogre.
Announcer: And to present the next 2 awards involving guest appearance, here is 2-time author & radio talk show host, RD Reynolds.
RD: You know what? I know crap, trust me on that. And if I know crap, then it really is crap. Why? Because it was booked poorly. Luckily, the nominees for the first award I am about to give are not crap at all. As these are the nominees for Best Wrestling Guest Appearance:
Sonjay Dutt
Andre the Giant
Nature Boy Ric Flair
Gail Kim
Andre the Giant
Nature Boy Ric Flair
Gail Kim
And the award goes to…hopefully this man won’t be poisoned or fake a heart attack in the ring again, as it’s the Nature Boy Ric Flair.
But, these awards wouldn’t be these awards without Wrestlecrap. And these nominees for Worst Wrestling Guest Appearance are DEFINETLY worth a spot in Wrestlecrap history. And the nominees are:
Shockmaster
Michael Cole
Kenzo Suzuki
Mordecai
Michael Cole
Kenzo Suzuki
Mordecai
And the winner is the man they used to call Mordecai.
Marc Lloyd: Wow, these have been some pretty good awards. But don’t worry folks, the best is yet to come. See, I’m used to conducting interviews, not hosting award shows. And that is why I am presenting the award for Best Wrestling Promo. And the nominees are:
DSR’s Return
jzbadblood
oceanic
Billy “the Virgin” Ubermark
jzbadblood
oceanic
Billy “the Virgin” Ubermark
And the award goes to DSR’s return at Chained Up. This guy is cleaning up his awards, that’s for sure. And now to present the next award, here is a man who needs no introduction so I won’t give him one.
* Some guy walks out as the fans in attendance yell:*
Fans: Who the f*** are you?
Guy: Thank you. I am so proud to be here & a part of EWT history. I hope to be able to some day make my debut in EWT, but until then I get to present to you the nominees of the Best Debut & they are:
The Nyrds
Flex Magnificent
Theo Rumm
Pza
Flex Magnificent
Theo Rumm
Pza
And the award goes to Flex Magnificent & his stone. But I assure you, when I make my EWT debut, it will be much better.
Announcer: And now to present the next award is a man making his return to the EWT stage. Here is EWT Hall of Famer, Wonderful Wally Washington.
WWW: Wow. It is so wonderful to be back here for EWT. Does anybody have an apple? No, no, no, just kidding. But I am here to show you the nominees for Best EWT Return From Absence. You know, me doing this show should be up for the next Scammy Awards ceremony. But, for now, the nominees are:
obi
D-Boy
Curtrok
DSR
D-Boy
Curtrok
DSR
And the winner is…you know, this guy may be cleaning up tonight but he is not as wonderful as me. But he is the EWT Champion, DSR.
Announcer: And now to present our next award is a former champion himself. Here is another EWT Hall of Famer, You Gene Lesnar.
YGL: Hello everybody. I’m You Gene. How are you? Bread makes me poop. And I like bread. We work together as a team. A tag team. Get it? Tag team. My award I am giving out is for Best Tag team. Oh boy, I’m so funny. And here ate the Mommy knees:
jzbadblood & psychoapeguy
A-Bomb & Stevie Richards
HeartBreak Hitman Bret Micheals & Gasoline
The Nyrds
A-Bomb & Stevie Richards
HeartBreak Hitman Bret Micheals & Gasoline
The Nyrds
And the winners are The Nyrds. YEA!!! I like those guys. They’re cool & stuff.
Announcer: And now to present our next award is a man who’s never been champion a day in his life. Here is Barry Horrowitz.
BH: Hey, that’s messed up. I been a champion on the independent circuit. Just like the nominees here for Best EWT Champion:
psychoapeguy as the EWT Heavyweight Champion
David Adams as the EWT Ox Division Champion
Jzbadblood as the EWT Heavyweight Champion
A-Bomb as the EWT Heavyweight Champion
David Adams as the EWT Ox Division Champion
Jzbadblood as the EWT Heavyweight Champion
A-Bomb as the EWT Heavyweight Champion
Yeah, I can hang & beat those guys. Especially that chump former champion who got beat. You heard me…BEAT!! And if DSR were in this category, he would have gotten beat by him here, too. And since he isn’t, the winner is A-Bomb.
Announcer: And now to present our next award for Best Couple, here is Perry Saturn & Moppy.
PS: Your welcome. I love Moppy & she loves me. And that’s why we are here to tell you all about tall giraffes & how giraffes is what makes a real couple. And the nominees are:
Mercenary & Trish Stratus
A-Bomb & Stevie Richards
Dorf & his stupidity
Heiden-dorf & his cheese sandwich
A-Bomb & Stevie Richards
Dorf & his stupidity
Heiden-dorf & his cheese sandwich
And the winners have a giraffe in their living room, A-Bomb & Stevie Richards. Thank you, you’re welcome.
Announcer: And now to present the next award, here is Earl Hebner.
EH: First off, buy my shirts. Everybody should buy my shirts & support my store. And now, as a former referee who is out of a job, I wouldn’t have had a job if there wasn’t a match to referee. And a match is only as good as its competitors make it. Which is why I am here to present the award for Best Match. And the nominees are:
HitmanMark versus D-Boy @ Rocky Starts
El Unorigino versus Addy Bomb @ Chained Up
Ultimo Chocula versus Pza TLC Match @ Saved By the Bell: The College Years
HitmanMark versus Moxie @ Crap-a-mania
El Unorigino versus Addy Bomb @ Chained Up
Ultimo Chocula versus Pza TLC Match @ Saved By the Bell: The College Years
HitmanMark versus Moxie @ Crap-a-mania
And the winner of the Best Match goes to…El Unorigino versus Addy Bomb at Chained Up.
Marc Lloyd: And we are just rolling along folks. To think, we are only half way to the half way point. And I get to present the award for Best Feud in EWT. The nominations go to:
Mercenary versus jzbadblood
A-Bomb versus DSR
Moxie versus Billy “The Virgin” Ubermark
Mike Ragnal versus Billy “the Virgin” Ubermark
A-Bomb versus DSR
Moxie versus Billy “The Virgin” Ubermark
Mike Ragnal versus Billy “the Virgin” Ubermark
And the winner in a surprising upset, Moxie versus Billy “the Virgin” Ubermark. And now to present our next award, here is the president of Cox Communications, Jason Bensohedge.
JB: Hi, I’m Jason Bensohedge of Cox Communication. Without my company, Cox cable, you fans wouldn’t be able to order the pay per views you see almost every other week it seems. That’s why I am here to present the award for Best EWT Pay Per View:
Chained Up
Rocky Starts
This Damn Tuesday Thanks to F***ing Ape
Screaming Sausage Mayhem
Rocky Starts
This Damn Tuesday Thanks to F***ing Ape
Screaming Sausage Mayhem
And the winner is the first all chain match pay per view, Chained Up.
Announcer: And to present the next award for Best Booker, here is Viva La Bam’s own, Don Vito:
DV: vgftfhjvfyuukfuriughiopyfydftyukvyufuigbuigf7ighfuigfy7irug cftydtygjhyfyuggfyuduklugyufuighuiogf uigfuguihliit78f6g gufuig7ifuigohrg uiguif7igf7iyigtug fy7yugiohy67f:
HitmanMark
Toomiguci
DqorDie
Poker Joker
Toomiguci
DqorDie
Poker Joker
Abhjfhkg7itilgy fyfyuguirygjkn fhvyufuibvfui vygfuiobvguifyfukvg gfguigfuig (translation: And the winner is Toomiguci.)
Announcer: And now to present our next award, here is Weird Al Yankovic.
WAY: Hello. I’m Weird Al & when I am not eating hot dog Twinkies, I am spoofing songs. And in EWT, believe it or not, they spoof wrestlers as well as create their own wrestlers. But I get to present the award for Best Wrestling Spoof & the nominees are:
Addy Bomb: Beta Male
Botchberg
Heiden-dorf
Les E Biase
Botchberg
Heiden-dorf
Les E Biase
And the award goes to Addy Bomb: Beta Male. I need to write a song about this guy.
Announcer: ladies & gentlemen, I get to present the award for Best Wrestler Name & the nominees are:
Limey
Mean Simmons
Barbwire Harry
Maelstrom
Mean Simmons
Barbwire Harry
Maelstrom
And the winner is the man who loves limes, Limey. And now to present our next award, here is Alf.
Alf: Ha! It feels good to be back on TV again. And I am here to present the award for Best Stable. Funny thing is, there are barely any stables in EWT so there are only 3 nominees & they are:
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
The Ragnals
The Communists
The Ragnals
The Communists
And the winners are Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday. But what do you expect. DSR was El Unorigino & he was with those guys.
Announcer: Here to present our next award is the green machine himself, Kermit the Frog.
KtF: Hi ho, Kermit the Frog here. And I am here to present to you the Best Male EWT Superstar. The nominees are not easy being green, but they try very hard. And they are:
A-Bomb
Billy “the Virgin” Ubermark
Marcel Adams
Heiden-dorf
Billy “the Virgin” Ubermark
Marcel Adams
Heiden-dorf
Hi ho, Kermit the Frog back again. And the winner is Billy “the Virgin” Ubermark. He truly knows it’s not easy being green.
Announcer: And the next presenter bringing to you the Best Female is the 40-year old virgin:
40: See what you have to look forward to Billy? Congratulations. These nominees are women who would say no to me if I were given the chance. And they are:
Mistress Mia
Diva-dorf
Miss Redneck Woman
Dr. Hillary Clitton [/center]
And the winner is Mistress Mia.
Marc Lloyd: Well folks, you will be glad to know the Super Glue in your seats will wear off soon & you will be free to leave since we are almost done. As we are now up to the Wrestlecrap portion of the awards. And I get to present to you the award for Poster We Miss the Most:
judochop to the head
Siren
Phantom86
Blue Meanie
Siren
Phantom86
Blue Meanie
And the winner is the female wrestling superstar, Siren. And now to present our next award, here is Big Van Vader.
BVV: It’s time, it’s time, it’s signature time time time!!! And here are the nominees for Best Signature:
Stan & Steve presented by DiBiase is Good
Golden Spike’s Stripping Girl
Ultimo Chocula’s Wilfred Brimley Kong
Lancers’ Lex Luger Press Your Luck
Golden Spike’s Stripping Girl
Ultimo Chocula’s Wilfred Brimley Kong
Lancers’ Lex Luger Press Your Luck
And the winner gets to go to Kuwait to appear on TV with me & that’s Golden Spike & his stripping girl. Let’s see her 1 more time. COME ON!! LET’S HEAR IT!! WOOF WOOF WOOF!!
Announcer: And here to present our next award is Paris Hilton.
PH: I’ve been invited back for a third award show & that’s hot. So are the nominees for Best Male Wrestlecrap Poster:
psychoapeguy
Earthquake Tenta
Dinobot
Miserable Alcoholic
Earthquake Tenta
Dinobot
Miserable Alcoholic
And the winner is Miserable Alcoholic. Now, that’s hot.
Announcer: And here to present the award for Best Female Poster is Jimmy Pop from the Bloodhound Gang.
JP: Woooo!!! I like girls. And I like them on posters. And I like these posters. And I want each & every one of them to kiss me as I talk about their nomination:
Lancers
JennieBomb
Millie
Redneck Woman
JennieBomb
Millie
Redneck Woman
Woooo!!! Those are some hot chicks. Wonder what the winner will give me if they all kissed me? Because the winner is Millie.
Announcer: And now here are the nominees for the Overall Best Poster:
lancers
Invader Dave
Miserable Alcoholic
Double D Dudley
Invader Dave
Miserable Alcoholic
Double D Dudley
And the winner is lancers. Now, to present the next award, here is HHH.
HHH: You know, I enjoy my time on television. After all, I am the Game & it’s time to play the Game. That’s why I am glad to present this award & get more TV time. What is the Award I am giving? *envelop handed to HHH * What kind of joke is this? HHH Hog the Spotlight Award? This is an outrage. I didn’t marry Stephanie McMahon to be mocked on some kind of Internet website. This is an outrage. I will not do this. Screw all of you.
Announcer: Er, um, the nominees are:
phoenix
anthony420
DiBiase is Good
Invader Dave
anthony420
DiBiase is Good
Invader Dave
And the winner is…Invader Dave. And now to present the next award, here is Hollywood Hulk Hogan.
Hogan: Hey bruthas. It’s great to have this award still going strong & named after me. This award truly means a lot to my Hulk-a-maniacs & me because it only takes a true great that says his prays, eats his vitamins, trains hard, & defends me until his dying breath. And the nominees are:
Miss Redneck Woman
DiBiase is Good
Asicjohnson
DMR
DiBiase is Good
Asicjohnson
DMR
Well bruthas, once again the winner of this award is a man who truly is equivalent to Hulk-a-mania. He has nothing but good stuff to say about me & that man is asicjohnson. Asic-a-mania is running wild in Wrestlecrap, bruthas.
Marc Lloyd: I get to present the second to last award, as the final award is set-aside for one man to give. So here are the nominations for the Best Moderator. And the nominees are:
Kash Flagg
Jackrabbit Slim
DiBiase is Good
Toomiguci
Jackrabbit Slim
DiBiase is Good
Toomiguci
And allow me to present the winner of the award, as he’s about to present a very special award. Here is Toomiguci to present the Toomiguci Vanguard Award.
T: Thank you very much Marc. And may I add Marc? You’re fired. Get out of here. I am not here to present this award as Toomiguci. I am here to present this award as the Head of EWT to a truly great man. A man who is what every EWT superstar should see & say, “I want to be like him.” In the last 2 pay per views, he has shown all of you just why he is so damn good at what he does in & out of that ring. For you see, this man is the GREATEST EWT superstar & the GREATEST EWT Heavyweight Champion. Ladies & gentlemen, the recipient of the Toomiguci Vanguard Award, my friend & yours…Mr. DSR.