Post by Toom E. Guci on Dec 15, 2005 23:38:44 GMT -5
Good evening ladies & gentlemen & welcome to the 4th Bi-Annual Scammy Awards Ceremony. Tonight, we shall honor the truly greats, as well as the truly worst, whom were involved in Extreme Wrestlecrap Threaderation. But we will also honor the greats amongst us from the Official Wrestlecrap Forum who post on a daily basis with nothing better to do. This evening, due to time constraints, we will not be having celebrity presenters. Ok, truth is we can’t afford them after 3 previous awards so we decided to go at this alone. And now, we shall look at the Best Gimmic in EWT. And the nominees are:
And the winner for the Best Wrestling Gimmic in EWT is…Flex Magnificent.
And without such great gimmics like Flex, there wouldn’t be storylines in wrestling. Which is why our next category is for the Best Storyline in EWT. And the nominees are:
And without further adieu, the winner for Best Storyline is…Limey, former folk singer fan.
Now, wrestling just wouldn’t be wrestling without the tangy zip of Miracle Whip. So without any more crappy jokes, here are the nominees for Best Celebrity Appearance in EWT. The nominees are:
And the award goes to the main that was in the corner of the Nyrds at Rebirth, Weird Al Yankovic.
And amongst all those great celebrities we had in EWT, we also have some pretty lousy ones. And that’s why the next category is Worst Celebrity Appearance in EWT & the nominees are:
And the award goes to the celebrity with a one-time only appearance, Steven Q Urkel.
But hell, each & every week, we have superstars from the real world inside the EWT wrestling ring to take on the EWT’s elite. And that’s why we have the nominees for the Best Wrestler Appearance in the EWT:
And the best damn appearance goes to X-Division superstar AJ Styles.
But, without some great superstars, we also have some s****y ones, too. And here are the nominees for the Worst Wrestler Appearance in EWT:
And the winner who is proud to be the worst, Armbar.
Now, how good would wrestling be if a superstar came out, wrestled, & that was it? Nobody talked at all but the commentators? That would be pretty damn good, huh? Oh well, like that’ll ever happen. Which is why we have the nominees for the Best Promo in EWT:
And the winner of his second straight award for tonight, Flex Magnificent.
Now each & every time a superstar enters the EWT, he makes an impact with his or her debut. And that’s why these are the nominees for the Best Debut in EWT:
And the winner is the former EWT Ox Division Champion, Eddie Omega & his broken arm.
And for those of who decided to vanish without a trace, it was great to see you back. And that’s why we have the nominees for Best EWT return:
And the winner is the main that will be main eventing this Sunday LIVE on pay per view for the Vacated EWT Heavyweight Championship…Moxie.
But we can’t forget those tag teams of EWT. In an extremely close race, we actually only saw two teams nominated. But we don’t want to hurt other folk’s feelings, so we added two other teams to the mix for fear of rejection. And the nominees for Best EWT Tag Teams are:
And in an extremely close race, the winners are the former tag team champions, the Nyrds.
And speaking of champions, here are the nominees for the Best EWT Champion to Hold Any EWT Championship:
And the winner is the now retired, former Heavyweight Champion…DSR.
And speaking of DSR, he’s up for one more award in the Best EWT Couple Award:
And the winner in a big shocker, Ultimo Chocula & Terri Runnels. That’s the first time a straight couple has ever won this award.
And now, with outstanding matches under their belts, it’s time for the nominees in the Best Match of EWT:
And the winner voted for Best match…WOW!!! This one goes to the ladies of EWT in their Submission Match.
Now folks, matches happen because of feuds. And that is why we are here next to honor the Best Feud in the EWT & the nominees are:
And the winner…AGAIN…Flex Magnificent versus Limey. I wonder who claims the honor of carrying that feud?
And these greats feuds end on pay per views, which is why we now have the nominees for Best EWT Pay Per View:
And the winner is Rebirth. But, that name just isn’t that funny. Which is why we now have the Best EWT Pay Per View Name:
And the winner for best name goes to We Can’t Be Arsed For a Name.
Now, matches happen because somebody books them. And that’s why we now have the nominees for Best EWT Booker:
And the winner in an upset…Curly Long.
You know though, EWT started as a spoof. And today, those spoofs are still going strong. Which is why we now have the nominees for Best Wrestling Spoof:
And the winner is the man they call Davemoa Joe.
Wrestling wouldn’t be wrestling though without catchy names everybody remembers. And that’s why we have the nominees for the Best Wrestler Name:
And the winner goes, once again, to Flex Magnificent. Boy, is this getting old or what?
Did you know Flex is a guy? And that’s why we have the nominees for Best Male EWT Superstar:
And the winner is the man they call DSR. To bad he’s retired.
Of course, women can wrestle, too. As that’s apparent from the Best Match winners. And so the nominees for Best Female EWT Superstar are:
I bet you don’t know the secret I do regarding these women. Although the winner is the woman known as oceanic.
When a wrestler stops posting, they’re either retired or injured. But these next guys are retired, as they are the nominees for the EWT Superstar We Miss the Most:
And the winner is a former Heavyweight Champion as well as an EWT Hall of Famer…HitmanMark.
And now we look at the greatness that is the Wrestlecrap Forum. We are proud to present to you the nominees for Best Post Signature:
And the winner is a man who likes to play with MS Paint, lancers.
Now we look at the guys who post on a daily basis with nothing better to do. Here are the nominees for Best Male Poster:
And the winner is the weirdo known as Invader Dave.
Remember though, we have females here without a life, too. So here are the nominees for Breast Female Poster:
And the winner is the girl we love to call Karisma.
Now, when trouble erupts on the board, the moderators are there to break it up & get badmouthed for what they do. So here are the nominees for Best Moderator:
And the winner is the man we know & love called shacmasta.
Overall, without posters there wouldn’t be a board. And without the board, we’d be doing something else to waste time like WORK. So now we have the nominees for Best Overall Poster:
And the winner is the man who never ventures to Off Topics, HitmanMark.
You know though, some folks just love to hog the spotlight when which is now we have the HHH Hog the Spotlight Award & the nominees are:
And the winner is the man known as Lucky.
And of course, in tradition…we have the nominees for the Real American Award. These folks say their prayers, eat their vitamins, & train hard to do so. And the nominees are:
And the winner is the man named DSR.
And now finally, we come upon the one award given by one-person…The Toomiguci vanguard Award. This is a prestigious award won by Madison Carter, RD Reynolds, & DSR in the past. This time around, I would like to honor a truly great poster with a green beard.
Ladies & gentlemen, the recipient of the Toomiguci Vanguard Award is none other then psychoapeguy’s green beard.
The P.T.A.
Curly Long-General Manager
Billy Ubermark-Virgin Discrimination
Flex Magnificent
Curly Long-General Manager
Billy Ubermark-Virgin Discrimination
Flex Magnificent
And the winner for the Best Wrestling Gimmic in EWT is…Flex Magnificent.
And without such great gimmics like Flex, there wouldn’t be storylines in wrestling. Which is why our next category is for the Best Storyline in EWT. And the nominees are:
Limey-Folk Singer Fan
Curly Long-General Manager
D-Boy’s Return/Retirement
DSR Heel Champion
Curly Long-General Manager
D-Boy’s Return/Retirement
DSR Heel Champion
And without further adieu, the winner for Best Storyline is…Limey, former folk singer fan.
Now, wrestling just wouldn’t be wrestling without the tangy zip of Miracle Whip. So without any more crappy jokes, here are the nominees for Best Celebrity Appearance in EWT. The nominees are:
Bea Arthur
The Bloodhound Gang
Kermit the Frog
Weird Al Yankovic
The Bloodhound Gang
Kermit the Frog
Weird Al Yankovic
And the award goes to the main that was in the corner of the Nyrds at Rebirth, Weird Al Yankovic.
And amongst all those great celebrities we had in EWT, we also have some pretty lousy ones. And that’s why the next category is Worst Celebrity Appearance in EWT & the nominees are:
Tim Allen
Ashlee Simpson
Steve Urkel
Bea Arthur
Ashlee Simpson
Steve Urkel
Bea Arthur
And the award goes to the celebrity with a one-time only appearance, Steven Q Urkel.
But hell, each & every week, we have superstars from the real world inside the EWT wrestling ring to take on the EWT’s elite. And that’s why we have the nominees for the Best Wrestler Appearance in the EWT:
Juventud Guerrero
The ECW Roster
AJ Styles
Austin Aries
The ECW Roster
AJ Styles
Austin Aries
And the best damn appearance goes to X-Division superstar AJ Styles.
But, without some great superstars, we also have some s****y ones, too. And here are the nominees for the Worst Wrestler Appearance in EWT:
Oz
BRAWL
John Cena
Armbar
BRAWL
John Cena
Armbar
And the winner who is proud to be the worst, Armbar.
Now, how good would wrestling be if a superstar came out, wrestled, & that was it? Nobody talked at all but the commentators? That would be pretty damn good, huh? Oh well, like that’ll ever happen. Which is why we have the nominees for the Best Promo in EWT:
Mystery
Billy Ubermark
HeartBreak Hotel with Chrysta, Ms. White, & Linda Ragnal
Flex Magnificent
Billy Ubermark
HeartBreak Hotel with Chrysta, Ms. White, & Linda Ragnal
Flex Magnificent
And the winner of his second straight award for tonight, Flex Magnificent.
Now each & every time a superstar enters the EWT, he makes an impact with his or her debut. And that’s why these are the nominees for the Best Debut in EWT:
Mystery
Eddie Omega
Tanya Flaire
Curly Long
Eddie Omega
Tanya Flaire
Curly Long
And the winner is the former EWT Ox Division Champion, Eddie Omega & his broken arm.
And for those of who decided to vanish without a trace, it was great to see you back. And that’s why we have the nominees for Best EWT return:
Moxie
psychoapeguy
A-Bomb
D-Boy
psychoapeguy
A-Bomb
D-Boy
And the winner is the main that will be main eventing this Sunday LIVE on pay per view for the Vacated EWT Heavyweight Championship…Moxie.
But we can’t forget those tag teams of EWT. In an extremely close race, we actually only saw two teams nominated. But we don’t want to hurt other folk’s feelings, so we added two other teams to the mix for fear of rejection. And the nominees for Best EWT Tag Teams are:
The Nyrds
The Ragnals
The P.T.A.
Team 187
The Ragnals
The P.T.A.
Team 187
And in an extremely close race, the winners are the former tag team champions, the Nyrds.
And speaking of champions, here are the nominees for the Best EWT Champion to Hold Any EWT Championship:
Linda Ragnal
Spaz
Billy Ubermark
DSR
Spaz
Billy Ubermark
DSR
And the winner is the now retired, former Heavyweight Champion…DSR.
And speaking of DSR, he’s up for one more award in the Best EWT Couple Award:
DSR & Sexy Translator
A-Bomb & Stevie Richards
Ultimo Chocula & Terri Runnels
Limey & Carla O Woe
A-Bomb & Stevie Richards
Ultimo Chocula & Terri Runnels
Limey & Carla O Woe
And the winner in a big shocker, Ultimo Chocula & Terri Runnels. That’s the first time a straight couple has ever won this award.
And now, with outstanding matches under their belts, it’s time for the nominees in the Best Match of EWT:
DSR versus dorf @ Crap-a-mania II
Submissions Match-Linda Ragnal versus Carla O Woe versus Mystery versus oceanic @ Rebirth
Elevator to Hell Match-Spaz versus Eddie Omega @ Rebirth
DSR versus Spaz @ No Rest For the Wicked
Submissions Match-Linda Ragnal versus Carla O Woe versus Mystery versus oceanic @ Rebirth
Elevator to Hell Match-Spaz versus Eddie Omega @ Rebirth
DSR versus Spaz @ No Rest For the Wicked
And the winner voted for Best match…WOW!!! This one goes to the ladies of EWT in their Submission Match.
Now folks, matches happen because of feuds. And that is why we are here next to honor the Best Feud in the EWT & the nominees are:
DSR versus Spaz
Flex Magnificent versus Limey
The Ragnals versus HeartBreak Hitman Brett Micheals & Limey
Linda Ragnal versus Chrysta
Flex Magnificent versus Limey
The Ragnals versus HeartBreak Hitman Brett Micheals & Limey
Linda Ragnal versus Chrysta
And the winner…AGAIN…Flex Magnificent versus Limey. I wonder who claims the honor of carrying that feud?
And these greats feuds end on pay per views, which is why we now have the nominees for Best EWT Pay Per View:
Crap-a-mania II
No Rest For the Wicked
We Can’t Be Arsed For a Name
Rebirth
No Rest For the Wicked
We Can’t Be Arsed For a Name
Rebirth
And the winner is Rebirth. But, that name just isn’t that funny. Which is why we now have the Best EWT Pay Per View Name:
Crap-a-mania II
Royal Pain In the Ass Rumble
We Can’t Be Arsed For a Name
Royal Pain In the Ass Rumble
We Can’t Be Arsed For a Name
And the winner for best name goes to We Can’t Be Arsed For a Name.
Now, matches happen because somebody books them. And that’s why we now have the nominees for Best EWT Booker:
Toomiguci
Curly Long
Ragnals
Joker
Curly Long
Ragnals
Joker
And the winner in an upset…Curly Long.
You know though, EWT started as a spoof. And today, those spoofs are still going strong. Which is why we now have the nominees for Best Wrestling Spoof:
Davemoa Joe
CN Bunk
Ms. White
Chance Confidence
CN Bunk
Ms. White
Chance Confidence
And the winner is the man they call Davemoa Joe.
Wrestling wouldn’t be wrestling though without catchy names everybody remembers. And that’s why we have the nominees for the Best Wrestler Name:
Flex Magnificent
Chrysta
Billy “the Virgin” Ubermark
Inferno
Chrysta
Billy “the Virgin” Ubermark
Inferno
And the winner goes, once again, to Flex Magnificent. Boy, is this getting old or what?
Did you know Flex is a guy? And that’s why we have the nominees for Best Male EWT Superstar:
Moxie
Limey
DSR
Spaz
Limey
DSR
Spaz
And the winner is the man they call DSR. To bad he’s retired.
Of course, women can wrestle, too. As that’s apparent from the Best Match winners. And so the nominees for Best Female EWT Superstar are:
Chrysta
Linda Ragnal
Mystery
Oceanic
Linda Ragnal
Mystery
Oceanic
I bet you don’t know the secret I do regarding these women. Although the winner is the woman known as oceanic.
When a wrestler stops posting, they’re either retired or injured. But these next guys are retired, as they are the nominees for the EWT Superstar We Miss the Most:
Billy Ubermark
Jzbadblood
HitmanMark
DSR
Jzbadblood
HitmanMark
DSR
And the winner is a former Heavyweight Champion as well as an EWT Hall of Famer…HitmanMark.
And now we look at the greatness that is the Wrestlecrap Forum. We are proud to present to you the nominees for Best Post Signature:
Golden Spike’s Stripping Girl
Maxx’s Fat Chick
Lancers MS Paint
Forgotten Sin’s Harry Pervert Potter
Maxx’s Fat Chick
Lancers MS Paint
Forgotten Sin’s Harry Pervert Potter
And the winner is a man who likes to play with MS Paint, lancers.
Now we look at the guys who post on a daily basis with nothing better to do. Here are the nominees for Best Male Poster:
DMR
psychoapeguy
Invader Dave
Lucky
psychoapeguy
Invader Dave
Lucky
And the winner is the weirdo known as Invader Dave.
Remember though, we have females here without a life, too. So here are the nominees for Breast Female Poster:
tmizzle
Karisma
Millie
Wolfpack B
Karisma
Millie
Wolfpack B
And the winner is the girl we love to call Karisma.
Now, when trouble erupts on the board, the moderators are there to break it up & get badmouthed for what they do. So here are the nominees for Best Moderator:
Shacmasta
KashFlagg
Dorf
DiBiase is Good
KashFlagg
Dorf
DiBiase is Good
And the winner is the man we know & love called shacmasta.
Overall, without posters there wouldn’t be a board. And without the board, we’d be doing something else to waste time like WORK. So now we have the nominees for Best Overall Poster:
Invader Dave
HitmanMark
Toomiguci
DMR
HitmanMark
Toomiguci
DMR
And the winner is the man who never ventures to Off Topics, HitmanMark.
You know though, some folks just love to hog the spotlight when which is now we have the HHH Hog the Spotlight Award & the nominees are:
Lucky
Gav
Joker
Ragnal
Gav
Joker
Ragnal
And the winner is the man known as Lucky.
And of course, in tradition…we have the nominees for the Real American Award. These folks say their prayers, eat their vitamins, & train hard to do so. And the nominees are:
DSR
y2ejm
ppv
Phoenix
y2ejm
ppv
Phoenix
And the winner is the man named DSR.
And now finally, we come upon the one award given by one-person…The Toomiguci vanguard Award. This is a prestigious award won by Madison Carter, RD Reynolds, & DSR in the past. This time around, I would like to honor a truly great poster with a green beard.
Ladies & gentlemen, the recipient of the Toomiguci Vanguard Award is none other then psychoapeguy’s green beard.