Magic; The Gathering

[Toom E. Guci]

* Magic; The Gathering opens with an aerial shot of Disney Land. We zoom in as pyro shoots off Sleeping Beauty’s Castle. Disney characters are standing on the castle as fans are going crazy, cheering. Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse, Goofy, & Donald Duck ride a float down Main Street, USA to the ring. On the float with them is Toom E Dangerously, waving to the fans. A 16-Piece band leads the way as fireworks shoot from the ring posts as well. Toom E climbs off the float as it stops in front of the ring. Toom E climbs into the ring & grabs a microphone.*

TED: It feels damn good to be back in the Magic Kingdom. And folks, I am pleased to announce that EWT has signed an agreement to broadcast LIVE from Disney Land for 3 more weeks, just like last time. And we guaradamntee you that we will use the resources just like last time. Who knows…maybe a Falls Count Anywhere Match in the park? Mr. Incredible as a guest referee? The infamous It’s a Small World Match? Maybe we’ll even have some fun over in California Adventure? The possibilities are definitely there & are so endless. And in the coming days here at Disney Land, I will have a major announcement requiring a MASSIVE acquisition for the next EWT pay per view as well as a NEW #1 Contender to the EWT Heavyweight Championship. Now, enjoy the show folks.

* As Toom E leaves the ring, the announcer prepares for the first match.*

RA: The following contest is scheduled for 1 fall & it is for the EWT OX Division Championship.

*Jesus Walks hits & he heads to the ring. He is getting a mixed reaction.*

RA: Introducing the challenger, from Chicago IL, weighing in at 233 lbs he is Bolt Bacana!

*Bolt rolls into the ring he looks all business tonight. Party Starter hits & Spaz gets his usual pop. He slaps hands with the Spazphiles as he heads to the ring.*

RA: And his opponent from Sydney, Australia, weighing in at 216 lbs he is the EWT OX Division Champion, this is Spaz!

*Spaz jumps into the ring he looks like he is ready to bring it as well. Referee Lee takes the belt & holds it up, Spaz & Bolt look at it & both know they will do anything to be handed it at the end of the match. The bell sounds as the two circle each other , they lock up & Spaz takes Bolt down with an armdrag. Bolt is up & he grabs Spaz he then drags Spaz down. Bolt grabs Spaz’s legs & tries to lock on a submission but Spaz kicks him away. As Bolt comes back off the ropes Spaz rolls him up.*

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NO!

*Bolt kicks out & nods respectfully at Spaz’s skill. Both men lock up again & Bolt quickly hits Spaz with a Snap Suplex. Spaz is up & he charges at Bolt. Bolt is quick & uses Spaz’s momentum to lift him high for a back body drop. Bolt pulls Spaz up & hits a Backbreaker on Spaz. He tries a cover.*

1
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KICKOUT!

*Spaz kicks out but he is favoring his back. Bolt has worked it over well & Spaz is slow to his feet. Bolt grabs him but Spaz elbows him in the gut & hits a Swinging Neckbreaker. Spaz grabs Bolt’s legs & locks on a Sydney Cloverleaf! Bolt is screaming & is crawling to the ropes. Spaz pulls back to apply more pressure. But as he does Bolt somehow counters it & he locks on an STF! The crowd can’t believe it as Spaz screams in pain. Bolt is screaming for Spaz to tap but with his last desperate attempt he is able to grab hold of the bottom rope. Bolt releases the hold. Both men are down & the exchange has left them winded. The ref starts a 10 count.*

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8

*Both men are back to a vertical base & begin to trade punches Spaz ducks a Bolt blow & hits him with a German Suplex, followed by a second, he rises to hit a third but Bolt counters & hits a German of his own followed by a second he rises for a third but Spaz counters back. He hits his third followed by a 4th & a 5th German Suplex. The crowd is on their feet applauding this display from both men. Spaz gingerly hooks the leg for a cover.*

1
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NO!

*Bolt gets the shoulder up. Again both men are slow to rise & this time they both require the ropes to get up. Bolt grabs Spaz & whips him off the ropes he comes back & Bolt hits a Tilt-a-whirl Backbreaker. Spaz is down & Bolt goes to the top rope. Bolt leaps off & hits an Asai Moonsault on Spaz. Bolt hooks the leg.*

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ROPEBREAK!

*Spaz gets his foot up on the ropes. Bolt is frustrated & starts to punch Spaz in the head. Spaz cover up & the ref yells at Bolt to stop. He does & gets up & pulls Spaz up by the hair. But out of nowhere Spaz hits a Down Under DDT! The impact sends Bolt out of the ring & Spaz climbs the top rope. Bolt is slowly to his feet & Spaz leaps off & nails a Missile Dropkick. Bolt flies backwards & over the Guardrail into the front row. The fans start an EWT chant as Spaz gets up gingerly. He reaches over the barrier & grabs Bolt pulling him up by the hair. Spaz lifts Bolt up like he is going to Vertical Suplex him but instead he drops him chest first onto the guardrail. The crowd groan as Spaz rolls Bolt back into the ring for the cover.*

1
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NO!

*Bolt fights out. Both men slowly get up & they trade rights & lefts Bolt grabs Spaz & whips him into the corner. He grabs Spaz & hits him with a Tornado Snap Suplex. Spaz rolls out of the ring & holds his back. Bolt rolls out & grabs Spaz around the waist. He hits him with a release German Suplex. Spaz hits the floor hard on his head & shoulders. Bolt rolls back into the ring to break the ref’s count & rolls back out he lifts Spaz up & looks to Powerbomb him through the announce table but Spaz fights out of it DDT’s Bolt through instead!*

Crowd: HolyS***! HolyS***!

*Spaz rolls back into the ring & he climbs the corner. He signals to all the Spazphiles in the crowd & leaps off. He nails a Shooting Star Press but as he does his head collides with a broken piece of the announce table. Spaz appears to be out & Bolt doesn’t look much better. The ref starts a 10 count with neither man moving.*

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7

*Both men start to crawl slowly towards the ring*

8
9

*Bolt tries to stand but is too groggy to get up.*

10!

*The ref calls for the bell & talks to the ring announcer.*

RA: As neither man was able to return to the ring by the count of 10 the referee has declared that Spaz is still the EWT OX Division Champion!

*Both men are still down. The ref walks over & places the belt next to Spaz as EMT’s come down to check on the condition of both men. The crowd is in a shocked silence over the outcome as the EMT’s help both men back up the ramp.*

[Toom E. Guci]

Hoss Matthews: Ladies & gentlemen I promise you that this PPV will be the one to break all the records. It’s Disney’s 50th Birthday & the EWT is......1 & a half.....But don’t delay because this one will be one to remember & share with the whole family....HOLY S###!!!!!

*The PsychaDeli VW Bug Van pulls up blasting “Right Now” by the Youngbloods. Splash is driving the vehicle & somehow manages not to plow anyone over in the process. They all get out.....Salami Swami helps Ol’ King Cold Cuts out who is still in a body cast from Paul’s Gorilla Press Slam on the concrete as well Splash comes out dragging a moving laundry bag followed by Delicious Dick & Mama Podanski who are both wearing an obscenely less amount of clothing that usual & are making out where you can see their tongues. Ugh. And the crown jewel.....Paraslice is the last man out of the van as he adjusts his fake Afro wig*

HM: It’s the PsychaDeli! Ladies & Gentlemen....Paraslice tonight you go against Paul Podanski for the Toolshed Title. What are your thoughts?

*A very loud human voice can be heard from the laundry bag Senor Splash has with him. It’s so loud Hoss Matthews interrupts Paraslice before he can speak to ask him about the bag.

HM: Hey, what the hell? That bag sounds like you have a person in it!

Delicious Dick: WHAT?! Listen pal....There ain’t no one inside that bag, got it?

Salami Swami: Yeah!

Senor Splash: Si!

Mrs. Podanski: *sliding a credit card down Dick’s ass* Oooh yeah!

Ol’ King Cold Cuts: *since he’s totally covered in a body cast he murmurs “yeah.”*

Voice From Bag: NO!

HM: NO?!

Whole PsychaDeli: NO?!

Voice From Bag: My name is Paul Podanski! My phone number is 555-1234. I’m BEING KIDNAPPED!!!

HM: Hey.....Is Paul Podanski in that bag!?

*Paraslice gives a swift kick to the bag before it can answer.

Paraslice: NO HOSS! There’s no ONE & no THING in that bag man.

HM: But it talked not too long ago. And if there was no “thing” in the bag why is it shaped like that?

Paraslice: BECAUSE YER TRIPPIN! And you won’t be the only one tripping tonight because I’ve done everything to Paul that he has done to ME & my family. And tonight will be the crown jewel as Paul Podanski finally learns the true meaning of Peace, Love, & Pastrami when I take what has meant most to him besides his mother & that’s.....The.....Toolshed......Division...Championship. And then.....justice....will...be...served....Dig it, Slim Jim?

*The PsychaDeli walks over carrying that obscenely large laundry bag . Hoss Matthews scratches his head with his microphone, which gives off a weird sound.

[Toom E. Guci]

*We fade to the next segment.

Finkel: This match is scheduled for one-fall and is the Triple Threat No Holds Barred Match. *Stevie’s Music plays…it’s a modified version of A-Bomb’s theme, but a little more effeminate.* Coming down to the ring, weighing in at 238 pounds, from Hershey Pennsylvania, he is a former EWT Tag-team champion, and currently married to A-Bomb, I give you Stevie Richards!

*Stevie sprints down to the ring, one of the finest chants that has been ever heard of in EWT. The chant was obviously a good, face chant and nothing like has ever been heard of in EWT in history. Stevie does a signal to the crowd, similar to the Human Tornado’s, by pointing to the sky…believing that the EWT World Heavyweight Championship could be his one day…until Finkel opened his mouth again.*

Finkel: *Ryan Adams plays Eric Bischoff’s theme “I’m Back!”* Coming down to the ring, weighing in at 221 pounds, from Conway Arkansas, he is a former EWT OX Division champion…I give you DAVID ADAMS!

*Adams comes out by himself to pops, but not as loud as Stevie’s were. This is the first match for Adams since he last faced Dorf back in the No Rest for the Wicked PPV, that was aired last August when he successfully defeated Dorf and Ultimo Chocula in a stunning **** match where the Ox Title was made famous. Adams enters the ring fine and enters opposite of Stevie Richards. Adams signals to the crowd about a belt on Adams shortly after this PPV, seems fitting; the crowd easily agrees.*

Finkel: *”Tearjerker” by Korn plays* Coming down to the ring, weighing in at 266 pounds, from Filthadelphia Pencilvania, he is a former EWT World Heavyweight champion…I give you DORF!

*Dorf is wearing his cloak as he struts down the ramp solo, the first time since he was an Ox Division Champion. The crowd is boo-ing him as he has a worried look in his eye that he is a bad performer. Tonight he knows that it will make or break his career. Dorf enters the ring fine to boo’s that elevate it worse than ever, sounds similar to X-Pac heat, but they’re not chanting ‘Dorf sucks.’*

*Dorf takes off his cloak to see that his face is already red in embarrassment as Adams is laughing at Dorf and Stevie is not looking at Dorf. Dorf screams, “I WANNA SEE YOU LAUGH LIKE THIS, WHEN YOU GO THROUGH ‘PERSONAL DEMONS!’” Adams continues laughing as Dorf turned from anger to sadness. Dorf got upset as the referee was checking all 3 competitors to see if they have any weapons, but they do not as the match bell begins.*

*Dorf, Stevie, and Adams are all staring each other in a triangle fashion looking at each side, as to pertain which one will strike first. Adams is having a fun time though, as he starts to laugh at Dorf again. This upsets Dorf even worse as Dorf goes right for Adams at the corner. Dorf sprints towards Adams and Adams moved out of Dorf’s rampage. Dorf ran straight for the turnbuckle, as he was going to attempt a Clothesline to Adams. After Dorf hit the turnbuckle, he walked 4 steps backward and Adams tipped backward into a Schoolboy*

Referee: 1…………………………………….2………………..

*Stevie came running to block the 3 count. Adams would have had Dorf down for the three count, if it wasn’t for Stevie. Stevie made Adams partially stand up and puts him in a Side Headlock. Stevie then ran immediately with the Headlock still in tact and performed a Bulldog! The crowd is going ecstatic for Stevie as he prepares for the end of Adams. Stevie goes up to the top rope and signals the crowd that he is going to do a Shooting Star Press. Stevie executes the move perfectly, but Dorf quickly gets up and dodges David Adams out of the way and immediately goes for the pin on Stevie*

Referee: 1…………………………………..2…………..*Stevie kicks out*

*Adams and Dorf get up at the same time, staring at each other with hated disgust. With those two staring, this gets the crowd cheering as they remember the last time, those two were fighting. They were fighting against Ultimo Chocula from a previous Triple-threat match, eight months ago. Chocula ruined Dorf’s chance to retain as Adams won the belt in that match, which was a ladder match. That reminisce got the crowd going.*

*Adams and Dorf ran at each other, locking up. Dorf used his strength to get an advantage of Adams and took him to the closest corner. Meanwhile, Stevie got up and is looking at Adams & Dorf, waiting the right time. Dorf trapped Adams in a corner and attempts to punch him, but Adams ducks and turns around and punches Dorf on his chest with closed fists. After four or five punches to Dorf, Adams walks away from the corner. Stevie then sprints out of nowhere to get Dorf at the corner. Stevie connects with a Stinger Splash to Dorf as the crowd is going crazy. Dorf is being very wobbly, still standing up. Stevie turns around and Adams gives Stevie The Stroke. Adams goes for the cover.

Referee: 1………………………………..2 *Dorf falls*………*Dorf falls right on top of Adams, hitting him in the nether region, due to Adams having an odd pin on Stevie*

*All three competitors are down and the referee cannot do nothing about it…it’s a no-holds barred match. Stevie was the first to get up a little as he crawls to the closest bottom rope he could find. Dorf got up next, as Adams was still down, still clinching to his nether region. Dorf saw that Stevie was not 100% up yet, so Dorf went to the outside to get a steel chair and tosses it into the ring. The crowd is going nuts. Dorf looks under the ring again, only to find a fire extinguisher and tosses that down towards the opposite side of the ring. Dorf looks under the ring again, only to find nature’s wood, a table. He sets that up on the outside, next to the announcing booth. Dorf then returned into the ring, as Stevie was up and Adams was starting to get up.*

Stevie went for the attack for Dorf as soon as he entered back into the ring. Stevie did a Sledged Axe Kick to Dorf’s face and Dorf went down. Stevie made Dorf stand up and executed the Bomb Drop onto Dorf perfectly and planted Dorf atop a steel chair. Stevie saw that David Adams was up…Adams was dazed and confused….Stevie took the advantage and ran at Adams, possibly to Clothesline Adams out of the ring and he almost completed it….except Adams held on to Stevie and had overpowered Steve on the apron to form the Crowning Achievement set-up. Adams saw the table and immediately connected with the CROWNING ACHIVEMENT THROUGH A TABLE! The crowd goes in a frenzy as a majority are either chanting “EWT! EWT! EWT! EWT!” or “HOLY S***! HOLY S***! HOLY S***!”*

*Dorf slowly crawled toward where the commotion is located; where Adams and Stevie are decked out. Dorf crawled towards the outside of the ring with his chair, just knowing what just happened to Adams and Stevie. Adams started to get slowly as Stevie appears to be knocked out. Blood starts to trickle out of Stevie’s forehead, due to the impact of the table. Dorf made it to the apron ready to prepare for his next tactic, but Adams starts to move and stares at Dorf. The two stare at each other menacingly as Dorf held out the Steel Chair in front of him and dropped it to the outside of the ring. Adams gets right up as Dorf quickly goes to the outside of the ring and goes for Adams. The two start brawling at each other as rights and lefts are punched by each opponent, while Stevie still appears to be out of it.*

*Adams and Dorf continue brawling along the outside of the ring as they approached a fire extinguisher. Adams started to take advantage over Dorf in the brawling as Dorf goes down from a stiff right from Adams. Unbeknownst to Adams, Dorf grabbed the fire extinguisher. As Adams walked closer to Dorf, Dorf aim the stuff from the fire extinguisher and fired it at Adams. Adams is still somehow standing, wobbling though. Dorf looks under the ring and finds a light tube under the ring as smashes it over Adams’ head. Adams goes down as the reaction of the light tube and the fire extinguisher gas have made an interesting reaction with sparks puffing as a result. The crowd is chanting “EWT! EWT! EWT! EWT!”*

*Dorf sees that Adams looks to be knocked out for good as the smoke from the fire extinguisher finally clears. Dorf drags Adams back into the ring and drags him to the closest corner as Dorf climbs up to the second turnbuckle. Dorf does a signal to get the crowd heated at him, mainly signaling the end of Adams. Dorf then picks up Adams and executes the Dorf Driver in complete perfection. Dorf goes for the cover*

Referee: *as the crowd thinks the match is over as the boo’s escalate*………..1.(Stevie then appears out of nowhere running as quick as he can to do something about it.)……………………………..2………*Stevie then appears on the apron and performs a Springboard Shooting Star Press to prevent or block the 3 count*………..*and does so landing on top of Dorf to prevent the 3 count; the crowd goes crazy as Stevie had just saved the match.*

*All 3 competitors are down as two of them are now bleeding. Adams just had his forehead bleeding from that light tube shot in the head. The ref asked all 3 competitors if they are still able to compete and all nodded yes in some way or form. About a minute later, Stevie crawls over to Dorf who is still down, due to that Springboard SSP to cover for the win. The referee counts:*

Referee: 1…………………………………….2……………………………….*Dorf barely kicks out*

*Stevie then crawls over to David Adams to cover for the win. The referee counts:*

Referee: 1………………………………………2………………………..*Adams barely kicks out as well*

*Stevie looks at the referee at dismay seeing that he pinned both his opponents to get a 2 count. Stevie then gets the crowds attention as he got up right away and signaled the end is near for either Adams or Dorf. Stevie goes to the top rope and then points at Dorf and the crowd cheered Stevie to do the Twisting 450 Five-Star Frog Splash. The crowd goes crazy as he perfected the move so perfectly that he connected it to Dorf. Stevie holds on, to cover for the win.*

Referee: 1…………………………………….2………………………….*Adams blocks for the 3 count*

*Stevie gets up right away as he no-sold Adams block for the 3 count. Adams slowly gets up and once he does he saw Stevie already up. The two stare as Stevie’s eyes bulge to intimidate Adams and get pops from the crowd. Stevie sprints at Adams and does a Ricky Steamboat Arm Drag Takedown. Both competitors get up right away and Stevie performs another Arm Drag Takedown on Adams. Stevie covers for the pin.*

Referee: 1…………………………………….2……….*Adams kicks out, as Dorf rolls out of the ring*

*Stevie makes Adams stand up as Stevie runs to the ropes and somehow Dorf is up and slams a chair shot from behind on Stevie’s back out of nowhere! Stevie doesn’t go down (stopped and bent forward clinching his back) as Adams ran at Stevie to execute a High Knee to him. Adams signals that the match is done. Adams makes Stevie stand up as Adams Irish Whips Stevie to the ropes, and once he flinged back, Adams performed a Spiked Back Body Drop and both are down. Dorf takes advantage of this and tosses a ladder into the ring as the crowd gets loud since the ladder is in the ring. Adams slowly goes over to Stevie to cover for the pin.*

Referee: 1……………………………………..2………………….*Dorf hits Adams on the back to break the count*

*Dorf then gets up right away and sets up the ladder. Dorf walks to Adams and picks up him and completes the Dorf-o-Matic. Dorf drags Stevie onto the Ladder and picks him up to the top of the ladder. Dorf climbs up to the other side of the ladder and has picks up Stevie’s right shoulder in formation of the AbDorftion and Dorf jumps off and drags along Stevie with him and executed the ABDORFTION with ease. Dorf could not hold onto Stevie as the ladder somehow falls onto Dorf. Dorf scats the ladder right away, but Adams is right next to him as he puts his right shoulder over Dorf’s body. Unbeknownst to Dorf, Adams shoulder is enough to be pinned for as the referee counts.*

Referee: 1…………………………………….2……………………………*Dorf sees that Adams’ arm is over Dorf and Dorf barely kicks out!*

*All three competitors are laid out as the blood starts to retrickle through Stevie’s head from that AbDorftion, while Adams’ blood seems to have stopped for now. A minute later, all three bodies are still down and then the lighting in the arena, GOES OUT!*

{Two minutes later…}

*The lighting situation is fixed and the first thing we see is dorf tossing Steve to the ropes and once Stevie flinged back, Dorf Hip-Tosses Stevie and executes into the DORFBUSTER AND LANDS FACE FIRST ONTO THE LADDER! Dorf covers for the victory attempt, as the referee counts*

Referee: 1………………………………………………...2……………………………………………….3! *Adams tries to save the match from going, but blocks the count one second too late. Referee raises the victor to be Dorf*

Winner: By Pinfall, DORF!

*After the match, David Adams stands right up and starts giving kicks onto Dorf’s back as Stevie rolls out of the ring slowly. Adams then made Dorf get up and tossed him to the ropes, once Dorf flinged back…Adams performed a Spiked Back Body Drop to Dorf on top of the ladder! Referee’s came to separate Adams and Dorf as the crowd cheers for what Adams did to dorf, but still Adams did not win, Dorf did. Expect this feud to continue.*

[Toom E. Guci]

(The crowd is just getting over the prior match. Everyone is clamoring to see what the next bout is going to be, when suddenly the Handsome Boys Modeling School's music starts playing over the loudspeaker. The crowd boos with contempt as Moniqua leads the way to the ring for Billy "The Virgin" Ubermark and Ultimo Chocula. Billy is wearing his designer jeans and mid-thigh length leather jacket. Chocula has his sunglasses on, as well as a Versacci shirt and Italian leather pants. All three are wearing mouse ears, apparently they've been taking in the park while the PPV was going on. Casually, amidst the jeers of the fans, the three of them enter the ring, one after another. Eventually, Chocula gestures for a microphone. The ring announcer hands him one, and the crowd quiets some as Chocula begins to speak his mind.)

*UC*: OK! Let's see! This pay-per-view is supposed to have everything, right? Lights... pyrotechnics... an overgrown rodent with a piercing falsetto.... title matches. So what's missing from this picture? Let me see. What could that be? (Chocula looks off to the sky as though pondering for a second or two, and then suddenly snaps his fingers together) I KNOW WHAT IT IS! Its missing the HOTTEST F***ING TAG-TEAM that this half-assed company has to offer!

(The crowd starts booing loudly, again, as Chocula stares out into the crowd with a scowl on his face. Behind him, Billy Ubermark and Moniqua nod in agreement. After lettings his words sink in for a bit, Chocula starts talking, again.)

*UC*: For the past few weeks, the Handsome Boys Modeling School has been on a roll! We've taken out each of the puny-punk tag-teams that the goons on top have thrown at us! We neutered the British Bulldogs! We pulled the plug on High Energy! And we beat the ever-loving SNOT out of T & A! And how do they reward us? By leaving us off the card of this pay-per-view!

(The crowd cheers for the fact that the HBMS is not on the card. Billy Ubermark shakes his head in disgust as Chocula continues.)

*UC*: Talk about getting SCREWED! Hell, if it wasn't for scoring with Pocahontas in the Haunted Mansion, this trip to the Crappiest Place On Earth was a real wash out!"

(Chocula hands the microphone off to Billy Ubermark. He walks back to where Moniqua is standing, and she gives him a pat on the back. Chocula makes an obscene hand gesture to one of the fans in the audience who's yelling at him, as Billy looks the crowd over and then begins to speak.)

*BU*: I don't know how to explain this! Ultimo Chocula and I are the EPITOME of what a great tag-team should be! Sexy! Skilled! Hot! Dangerous! Watching us in the ring is more exciting than a ride on Space Mountain, or any ride in this over-sized county fair! So why is it that we get shoved to the side, once again, and left off the card for this pay-per-view?

(Billy pauses for effect. Out in the crowd, the camera gets a shot of a sign someone is holding up that reads "HBMS Stole My X-Box!" The camera cuts back to Billy.)

*BU*: I'll tell you why I think this happened! I think its just another case of Virgin Discrimination!

(The crowd boos, angrily. Soon a chant of "Bulls***!" starts emanating from the audience, and Ultimo Chocula turns around and starts yelling something back at them for a couple seconds. Billy, on the other hand, simply nods his head at the crowd and then starts addressing them, again.)

*BU*: That's right! Even though I'm STILL one of the hottest young superstars E.W.T has ever seen.... even though I'm now teamed up with Ultimo Chocula, one of the most amazing and under-appreciated stars in the wrestling world, today.... and even though we've become the most stylish and dangerous tag-team around, there are STILL people who can't get past the fact that I'm a Virgin, and therefore don't want to see me succeed. And now, what's worse, is that they're not just holding ME down, but Ultimo Chocula as well!

(Chocula starts mouthing the words "Damn straight!" and Moniqua applauds as Billy proceeds to make his voice heard. The crowd continues to express their disapproval at the HBMS.)

*BU*: There is NO CALL for the Handsome Boys Modeling School to be treated like this! No matter what a bunch of narrow-minded people might think, you cannot deny the facts! Ultimo Chocula and I are the best team this fed has to offer! The perfect blend of talent and sex-appeal! We're smooth! We're solid! Heck, watching us in the ring is like watching Michelangelo paint the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel! We're a living, breathing work of art, both in and out of the ring! Its a travesty that we didn't get included in this pay-per-view, because there isn't a single tag-team in the E.W.T. that can hold a candle to us. And team who thinks they can is just living in a fantasy world. And speaking of people who live fantasy worlds, that brings us to The Nyrds.

(The crowd suddenly erupts into a loud burst of cheers. Billy gets a puzzled look on his face as he hands the microphone back to Ultimo Chocula. Billy looks at Chocula, who shrugs his shoulders and starts talking.)

*UC*: I don't get it! What drugs do you people smoke that makes you love these two computer geeks so damn much?! Whatever it is, do yourselves a favor and put the pipe down, because that is some seriously BAD S***!

(The crowd boos Ultimo Chocula, again, but he doesn't seem to notice. Beside him, Billy Ubermark laughs as he runs his hand through his own air.)

*UC*: Do you realize what you two are cheering for? The guys don't have wet dreams about women; they have them about beating "Metroid: Prime" for the fourteenth time! This isn't a professional wrestling tag-team! It's the loser table in the corner of the cafeteria where no popular kid would ever go! Its a disgrace that they've had TWO title shots against the Ragnals in the past month, while we haven't even gotten one! Yet, you people APPLAUD this garbage. Well, we're gonna fix that problem, and we're fix The Nyrds in the process!

(Billy takes the mic back from Chocula, who folds his arms in front of him and remains at Billy's side. Moniqua comes up from behind them, stands between them, and puts an arm over each of their shoulders as Billy starts talking.)

*BU*: Nyrds, you've been served notice. It won't be too long before we get our hands on you and break your scrawny, little necks just like we did that glorified Atari in your dressing room. I don't know how you EVER ended up winning the E.W.T. Tag-Team Championships before, but believe me when I say that those days are in the PAST! YOU TWO are a thing of the PAST!

(Billy gestures to himself and Chocula, who nods his head and smiles as Billy keeps talking.)

*BU*: Ultimo Chocula and I, though... we're the FUTURE! And soon, the time is going to come when we put things of the past IN THE PAST, and prove to all of these people out here that the FUTURE of the E.W.T. tag-team division is here...

(Two people step out of the audience)

*BU*: .... and it looks AWFULLY,...

(the two men slide into the ring)

*BU*: ... DAMN ...

(the two people are standing right behind Chocula and Billy)

*BU*: ... GOOD!

The crowd begins to cheer, which throws Billy and Chocula off, but they relish in it for a bit, until they turn around and see that Joel and Mike have snuck up behind them! A brawl erupts between the two teams, as Joel whips Billy to the ropes, but Billy ducks an attempt at a spinning wheel kick, and slides out of the ring. Mike manages to boot Chocula in the stomach, and sets him up for a powerbomb. Joel reaches up for a neckbreaker, but before they hit Revenge of the Nyrds, Billy slides back in and quickly super kicks Mike in the face.

Mike drops Chocula, whom lands on his feet. Choc reaches up and grabs Joel to hit the neckbreaker Joel had planned on hitting. Choc and Billy slide back out of the ring, as Joel and Mike check on each other.
From the outside, Billy and Chocula taunt the Nyrds. Mike leaves Joel to go to the ropes and yell back, as Joel stands up, and hits the ropes away from the hub-bub.

Mike looks behind him, and quickly drops to the mat, pulling the top rope down, as Joel literally moonsaults over the ropes, and lands on the Handsome Boys, eliciting a large pop from the audience. All three begin to regain their bearings, and actually get to their feet, when Mike hits the ropes opposite to his partner and his enemies, runs back, and suicide flip dives, not unlike a certain AJ Styles, over the top rope, landing on all three boys, also earning himself a pop.

Finally, the security team, and even a few refs, show up to break up the brou-ha-ha. The Nyrds and the HBMS are separated, but they still want a piece of each other. But the security won't let them do it, and the crowd shows it's disapproval through booing, and soon, we are taken to the next segment as both teams are lead out of the area.

[Toom E. Guci]

In the ring stands the local Disney Announcer

ANNOUNCER: The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall.

The Sinister version of “Moving on up” hit's the ToomiTron as Curly and Mr. Big enter the ring ... Curly with a confident smug look on his face, Mr. Big silent as ever.

ANNOUNCER: Introducing first... at a combined weight of 595 pounds, Curly Long and Mr. Big!!!

Curly and Mr. Big enter the ring and before anything can happen Curly swipes the mike from the man ... the crowd begins to Boo the pair!

CURLY: Look Big we're in Disney ... say did you get to ride on the Log Flume or meet Goofy? ..

Big shakes his head

CURLY: Well Big, at least I had the time of my life here ... of course the riding I was doing wasn't designed for kids ... in fact I didn't even have to leave my hotel room ..

The Crowd chants 'VLB' loudly

CURLY: But enough of this sordid shenanigans ... before my match against furball ... we have the Harlot Hunt 2006!!

Crowd gives a slight cheer as some glitzy Disney Pop music begins to play ... and out from the back come D'Zee and Cherry. They wave and show off to the crowd. Clearly excited at being at a PPV. Cherry is wearing a bikini Top and a flowing skirt. Whilst D'zee has a black top and Jeans. They enter the ring and Curly begins to speak again

CURLY: Ok girls this is it .. only a few more minutes separate you two from being the Champion and the Chump ... so what have you got to say or do in this final time that may sway the vote in your favor?

Curly passes the mike to Cherry first

CHERRY: Oh Curly ... it has been wonderful these past few weeks here in the EWT ... and to finish here in Disney world is a truly magic moment .. but you know boys, if you vote for me I promise that you won't regret it ... and ..

D'zee snatches the mike out of Cherry's hand ... Cherry is not happy about this

D'Zee: Ok Honey .. I think we all know what magical moments you've been having .. and it certainly has featured some wide-eyed wonder ... but I doubt Mickey or Minnie would approve of the Splash Mountain you saw ...

The crowd cheers on D'Zee, whilst Cherry looks appalled

D'Zee: People .. if you want to vote for Cherry here .. and I'm sure that got popped a long time ago ... if you want to vote for her go ahead ... but if you want someone who may just add something to the pot that is the EWT Women's division .. then vote for me ...hell you may as well .. you just know that Cherry here will be signed up anyway ..

CHERRY: and what is that supposed to mean?

D'Zee: Don't worry sugar .. your secrets safe ... I mean c'mon your jaw-dropping, smart and your hobbies include midnight acrobatics .. if you don't win here you'll just sleep to the top ... hell I’m the only one in this ring you haven't slept with! ...

Curly turns to the crowd and gives a sly nod .. Mr. Big stretches his arms .. and the nerdy kid Disney announcer whistles innocently. The crowd quickly cottons on and starts to chant "she's a Sl**!" .. Curly takes the mike away as the two Harlot Hunt girls start to pregnant dog at one another

CURLY: Ok that’s it times up ... can we have the results on the ToomiTron please ...

The ToomiTron flickers to life, as some tense music plays ... two bars slowly grow next to both D'Zee & Cherry's name ... and there it is ... with 44% of the vote is Cherry! ... but with 56% its D'Zee!!

CURLY: Your winner of the 2006 Harlot Hunt!! ... D'Zee!! ...

The crowd cheers as Mr. Big hands a cheque and crown to D'Zee ... she raises her hands in victory as Cherry strides away in a bad mood. After the celebration D'zee heads to the back a big smile on her face ... we cut back to Curly standing next to Mr. Big in the ring

CURLY: Well there you have it D'Zee won ... that’s 10 bucks you owe me! ... now why were we out here originally?

To answer this question a massive pyrotechnic blasts from the stage and the four corner posts! ... Curly jumping in surprise right into Mr. Big's arms. As "Broken Wings" starts up.

ANNOUNCER: And there opponents... first, from Parts Unknown, weighing in at 272 pounds, Crauswell!!!

Crauswell waits on the ramp outside, glaring through his eyeholes at Long. As the crowd anxiously awaits his mystery partner.

ANNOUNCER: And his tag team partner...

Suddenly, the rock and roll version of Turkey in the straw starts up as the Gobbeldy Gooker walks down the ramp... resulting in an angry amount of boos from the crowd.

ANNOUNCER: Are you serious... erm, and his tag team partner, from... Thanksgiving Town, weighing in at 228 pounds, the Gobbeldy Gooker!!!

Curly Long and Mr. Big burst out in laughter. Crauswell waste no time, sliding quickly into the ring, Gooker struggling to climb into it in the bulky costume

Bell Rings

Curly Long goes to start it off in the ring against... Gooker. Sure he can take him. The Gooker almost trips over in his suit... as the bell rings. Curly walks over and stomps on Gooker's toe. Gooker grabs it and starts hopping up and down... Curly then nailing a nice sweep kick... taking him down to the mat. Gooker rolls around in pain, as Curly walks over to him and slaps him on the side of his head. The Gooker let's out a gobble-like sound. Curly Long grins and then kicks him right between the eyes. Gobbeldy groans and slowly rises to his feet... only for Curly Long to leap up with a dropkick, hitting the turkey's ass and causing him to stumble forwards. The crowd laughs as Curly walks over and tags in Mr. Big.

The Gooker doesn't see him coming as Big charges forward and slams chest first into him, knocking Gooker down once again. He reaches down and picks him up for a chokeslam... then slams him hard into the mat into the cover. 1....2...

Crauswell charges in and breaks up the count. Mr. Big slowly rises up... looking down at Crauswell... whose not even intimidated. Mr. Big shoves Crauswell back... the gryphon man stumbling back pretty far. He walks back over and somehow manages to shove Mr. Big back at least a half foot! Mr. Big looks pretty surprised. Crauswell slowly exits the ring... calling for the tag. Gooker gets up and runs over, desperately tagging out. Crauswell immediately enters the ring, charging forward and starting to nail some overhand palm slaps to the chest of Mr. Big. The big man groans a bit, but doesn't seem to be too affected by them. He goes for a standing clothesline, but Crauswell ducks underneath, then leaping up with a dropkick, getting enough height to hit Big right between the eyes. Mr. Big stumbles back... almost losing his balance. But manages to keep his footing.

Crauswell leaps up again and this time hits a leg lariat... enough to take Big down to the mat. Crauswell looks at Curly, then leaps up... headbutt to the heart of Big and into a cover. 1....2..... BIG POWERS OUT!!! Crauswell goes flying back a bit, hitting the mat hard, and quickly getting to his feet. Big charges forward, nailing a big boot to Crauswell's face, sending him down to the mat. He reaches down ... picks up the gryphon man with one hand, then walks over and tags in Long. Curly swiftly nails Crauswell with a kick right to the crotch... the referee not able to see because Mr. Big's blocking his vision. Crauswell groans and holds his... eggs, falling down to the mat. Big picks up Curly... the midget then leaping off and nailing a pretty impressive looking moonsault onto Crauswell. Into the cover. 1....2...

Crauswell gets the shoulder up somehow. Long can't believe it. Big exits the ring... only for Long to quickly tag him back in. He enters the ring, picking Crauswell up and setting Crauswell up in the corner... then grabbing Long and using him as a human battering ram... his skull slamming into Crauswell's chest... the bird man slumping down into the corner. Big reaches down and tags Curly back in... as he backs up and charges forward... hitting a pint sized bronco buster... Crauswell groaning as the midget bounces up and down atop of him. He hops off, then gives Crauswell a swift kick to the skull. Curly quickly tags Mr. Big back in. Big enters the ring... lifting Crauswell up once again, perhaps going for a Halo Bomb... but Crauswell doesn't give him the chance, fighting back with punches to the face and head... Big groaning and dropping Crauswell. The bird man then shoves him down hard... Big's hand inadvertently tagging in Long.

The midget looks pretty reluctant to get in there... trying to tag Big immediately, but Crauswell not allowing, reaching down and picking up Curly by the throat and tossing him over the ropes to the inside of the ring. The referee has counted it as an official tag. Curly groans as Crauswell reaches down... picking Curly back up and lifting him up with ease in a Gorrilla Press Slam!!! Long struggles but fails to escape and gets tossed up high before being slammed hard into the mat. Crauswell follows up with some stiff stomps to his chest, Long rolling around in pain. Crauswell is once again dominating the match. Curly groans, rising to his feet slowly... only to get lifted up and hit with a miniature Sambo Suplex to the mat. Crauswell spreads his wings... Long looking positively dazed right now... as he signals for... the Beak Buster!!!

Curly Long flails, as he's lifted up high and put in a Powerbomb position. Mr. Big tries to enter the ring, but Crauswell trips him up as he runs forward with a single foot, Big plummeting hard to the mat. Crauswell then slams him down hard right into the mat... then is about to go for the pin... but decides instead to tag in Gooker!

Gooker looks at Crauswell a bit unsure, but shrugs and walks over... walking over and going for a pin on Curly Long. 1....2.....

NO!!! Crauswell's hesitation has cost him the win it seems. Curly long just barely gets the shoulder up. Crauswell can't believe it... Curly Long is the first to survive not being knocked out by the Beak Buster. Gooker looks at Crauswell a bit surprised, enough time for Curly Long to get up and run over to Big. Gooker tries to stop him, but fails. Big gets the tag and quickly enters the ring. Gooker looks a bit scared now. He slowly backs up, Big charging forward and laying him out with a clothesline, sending him for a loop!!! Gooker groans... as Big leaps up with a leg drop to his throat. The giant turkey man rolls around in pain, clutching his throat. Big gets to his feet slowly.

He waits for him to rise up... then lifts him up high... with nails the Chokeslam into Backbreaker maneuver or more simply known as the "HFD"!!!! Into the cover. Crauswell tries to break it up, but Long is on the other side, now, tugging him off the apron! 1....2....3!!!

Announcer: Here are your winners... Curly Long and Mr. Big!!!

Crauswell looks absolutely pissed... quickly entering the ring and running over to his fallen tag team partner. He then reaches down... and lifts him up by the throat. Meanwhile Curly and Mr. Big head to the curtain Curly has a smile on his face as they go backstage. Back in the ring and Crauswell has found a microphone

CRAUSWELL: Why did you let me down? WHY DID YOU LET ME LOSE?! We're furries... we should stick together...

Suddenly, Gooker takes off his mask! It's Hector Guerrero.

HECTOR: For the last time... I'M NOT A DAMN FURRY!!! In fact... I hate them!!!

Crauswell looks at Hector... positively shocked. He crosses his throat and smashes his fist into his gut, Hector hunching over. The crowd boos as Crauswell lifts him with the chokeslam... set up into the powerbomb... BEAK BUSTER to the Former Gooker!!! The crowd boos as the gryphon man's not done yet... he immediately locks in the Crossface Gryphon Wing... Hector tapping almost immediately. But Crauswell doesn't care, keeping the hold locked on... the referee watching in horror and trying to get him to break it up. Crauswell refuses though... soon a bunch of EWT security running down to the ring... trying desperately to pull Crauswell off and break the hold... Guerrero is obviously unconscious by now. Crauswell finally breaks the hold... slowly rising up and yelling something out loud. " This isn't over Long!!! Not by a LONG SHOT!!!

We cut to the announcers who tell us that today's PPV is being sponsored by Cadburys Dairy Milk and FHM

[Toom E. Guci]

-=Scene=-
A janitorial closet (Since this is Disney AKA Cast Dressing Room) is Paul’s new home as the PsychaDeli minus Paraslice drop off Paul Podanski who is still inside of a giant laundry sack. He’s surrounded by Senor Splash’s personal belongings, since it’s where his cousin Paco effing lives & let’s Splash crash when he’s been on the Tea Cups swigging Thunderbird for too long. Paul is removed from the bag & placed on the toilet. His hands and feet have been zippy-tied together (You know, those plastic things they used to use to hold the chairs together in ROH?). The Salami Swami rolls in Ole King Cold Cuts ,who is still in a body cast, who are pointing to Senor Splash and instructing him.

-=Salami Swami=-
Now leesten here, Splash…Paraslice has instructed you, and only yooooooooooooou….too guard Paul Podanski. Feel free to do whatever you like to thee man. Remember, his match is against the deevine one! We do not want him at full strength!

-=Senor Splash=-
*Hick* Listen sultan of salam…I got this…you just go beat your meat or…whatever the HELL you do around here.

-=Scene=-
Senor Splash shooes off the Salami Swami (say that 5 times fast) and Ole King Cold Cuts. Splash turns around to Paul and walks into the closet with him.

-=Senor Splash=-
Well well well, if it isn’t the drunken demon…pssssh, yea right…you ain’t nothing, puta! NADA! Yo soy el DRINKING CHAMPION! Oh, what? You see that cervesa on el sink-o? You want some?

-=Scene=-
Paul wakes up & nods his head with his tongue hanging out. Senor goes to give Paul a sip of the 40 of Wild Turkey on the sink. Just before the drink is about to spill into Paul’s mouth, Splash quickly retracts it and starts guzzling it.

-=Senor Splash=-
Aye carumba puta...It’s Thanksgiving!…But let me tell you....you are muy estupido…I’ll tell you. You know…they say you’re pretty strong…especially since you’re the “Toolshed” champion…well let’s see how strong you are…

-=Scene=-
Splash walks over to a dusty TV/VCR combo. He turns it on and looks around the shelves it rests on for a specific tape. He finds it, snatches it, and blows the dust off of it into Paul’s face.

-=Senor Splash=-
Here it is…a tape of twelve hours worth of the never before aired episodes of Dusty Rhodes’ sitcom “DUSTY’S PLACE!!!!” …By the time this is over you’ll be too weak with ignorance to even stand up…and don’t THINK about closing your eye-os…I’ll be watching you…PUTA!

-=Scene=-
Splash pops the tape in and takes a seat next to Paul on the sink. He lifts open the back of the toilet, which is FILLED TO THE BRIM with assorted cheap wines & liquors. He takes a bottle of Ripple out and starts drinking away while Paul is forced to watch “Dusty’s Place.” The screen appears with a theme song of the likes of a poor man’s “What’s Happening” & “Sanford & Son” theme combined. The video looks like it’s a 19th generation copy as the screen is so blurry barely anything can bee seen



*Editor’s Note: The Sign does say “Dusty’s Place: Bar & Entertainment.” Just thank my cell phone for the crap picture.

-=Paul Podanski=-
*in thought* Oh man, I gotta get outta here & beat that f###ing hippy back to Ashbury & Haight. Ugh. And......I gotta get me a bottle o dat Camo....& I don’t care if there’s toilet water all over it......Hmmm.....Dusty’s Place.....I heard about that show.......It can’t be that bad......It’s not like he wrote it or anything.

-=Dusty Rhode’s Voice on Screen=-
Oooooooo Sweeeeet Sapphire, Whachya be callin dat? Oooooo Well ya know wut? I gotta be makin me a didgeriDOO DOO! *sounds of bad didgeridoo playing along with fart sounds can be heard of the screen*

-=Paul Podanski=-
Oh Christ! Good thing I drank a whole bottle of everclear before I came here *grumbling sound* Oh God.....I hope there’s bathroom breaks!

-=Fade Out=-

[Toom E. Guci]

*The bell rings to signal the announcement of the next match. While the ring announcer prepares to make his announcements where hear from Gorilla & The Body.

Gorilla Monsoon: Whoah! Here we go! The Tri State Championship is about to be decided.

Jesse “The Body” Ventura: Monsoon this is the match I have been waiting for all day. Finally we may find out that Flex is the better man.

GM: Well it was not too long ago where these two men about to take action along with The Outlaw went to a Tie for the Tri State strap as all three men’s shoulders were down for the 3 count.

JV: Indeed it was an incredible match, Gorilla, but tonight it’s one-on-one action as my pick Flex Magnificent goes against Maelstrom first for the Tri State Title & the winner of this bout will go on to face Outlaw!

GM: Indeed he will. Let’s go to ringside for the announcements.

*The camera focuses on the ring announcer as we hear Flex’s choir singing ever so lightly.

Ring Announcer: This match is scheduled for one fall & is the first match of Double Play Madness AND IT IS for the EWT TRI STATE CHAMPIONSHIP!!! Coming down the aisle....

*The camera focuses on the faces of individual choir members as the lead calls & the rest respond. They begin building the tension high as The Flexettes arrive in grand fashion dressed up as various obscure Disney characters albeit very skanky & seductive versions of Angela Lansbury from “Bedknobs and Broomsticks,” The mother on “Smart Guy,” Mr. Feeny from “Boy Meets World,” Warden Walker from “Holes,” Dr. Neil Miller from “The Santa Clause 2," John Henry from “John Henry,” Earl Sinclair from “Dinosaurs,” Nazi Commander #3 from “The Rocketter,” & Sparky from “Frankenweenie.” A number of them lay on the ground as a few dance to the music (very trashy I might add).

GM: What a...uuuh....unique entrance from the Flexettes.

JV: Well we had to appease the tastes of the hardcore Disney fans & I must say....I never thought I’d be having the kinda thoughts I’m having now about Mr. Feeny. Wow!

GM: Would you please stop!

RA: With his manager “The Doctor of Muscletology” Dr. Frederick Delavier. From Nuremberg, Germany. He comes in weighing in at 330 lbs. of pure magnificence with arms in length of 30 inches round, waist 38 , legs 24 & at a height of 6'7......He is The Genetic Superman,.........The SIX time Scammy Award winning................FLEX..................MAAAAAAAAAAGNIIIIIIIIIIFICEEEEEEEEEEENT!!!!!!!

*As Flex & Doc Delavier make their way out the women beginning throwing themselves at Flex. He throws some of them down & begins making out with the one that looks like Dr. Neil Miller. Flex throws her down & positions himself in the middle of the entranceway. Fireworks explode in the air as Flex flings his cape back & throws down a few poses. He covers back up & continues down the aisle with Dr. Delavier. They enter the ring & continue where Flex left off by removing his cape & letting him go top it all off with a Flex-O-Matic Delight & even more explosive fireworks. They calmly await Maelstrom’s arrival.

RA: And his opponent........

*”Apocalypse Please” is heard throughout the park as out of the blue midst comes Maelstrom with the Tri State Championship on his shoulder & a grimace that would stop the world.

RA: He currently hails from his mother’s basement until the new Aquarium is prepared. He weighs in at 286lbs. HE IS the EWT Tri State Champioooon.......MAAAAEEEELSTROOOOOM!!!!!

*Maelstrom slowly continues his way down the aisle & makes it inside to the approval of the crowd. He & Flex have a stare down as Maelstrom hands off the belt without once losing eye contact with Flex. The referee holds up the title & calls for the opening bell to start this slobber knocker.

*With that both men are ordered to opposing corners to start the match. They do so & begin circling one another to the middle of the ring. Maelstrom lunges for a Collar & Elbow tie-up, but Flex knowing that he CAN’T do one ducks the lunge & immediately lays a heavy Double Axe Handle to the back of Maelstrom. Surprisingly Maelstrom’s eyes bulge out with this move.

GM: Flex immediately going for that injured back from the Triple Threat match & it seems Maelstrom hasn’t fully recovered!

*Maelstrom shakes it off pretty quickly & eyes Flex again. They begin circling each other once again as Maelstrom looks very focused. This time Maelstrom goes to lift Flex up off his feet! He’s pulling Flex up, but Flex AGAIN lays some heavy blows on that injured back. Flex doesn’t capitalize & lets Maelstrom beg off the hold.

*Maelstrom again shows some signs that the back is still bothering him, but hides his pain as quick as he can. He shakes it off & looks at Flex who is mocking him. Flex gloats at Maelstrom’s feeble attempts to get the advantage & begins posing a bit.

*As soon as Flex lets his guard down Maelstrom immediately begins rocking Flex with mighty blows to the head. Maelstrom is following Flex in a circle around the inside of the ring with continuous blows. Flex turns around in a daze & BAM!!!! Emeril Lagasse adds some Emril spices to his dish as Maelstrom hits Flex right between the eyes sending Flex out between the top & middle strands sending him on the outside. The fans roar in approval as Flex is staggering in a daze to get up. Dr. Delavier helps him up as Maelstrom comes from behind them & sends their skulls colliding together with a Double Noggin Knocker! Delavier flies to the mat as Maelstrom keeps a hold of Flex & throws him right into the steel post sternum & face first. Flex connects & begins walking backwards right back into the waiting hands of Maelstrom who lifts him up in a Atomic Drop, but instead rams his genitals into the post & lets him go. Flex falls back first onto the concrete floor.

*Maelstrom is pumped & let’s the crowd know it. Although he wastes no time in lifting up the steel ring steps & throwing them right on top of Flex Magnificent. The steps bounce of Flex with a mighty thud onto the floor which sound is intensified by the groan from Flex. Maelstrom picks him back up & throws Flex back into the ring knowing that’s the only place to win this match, but he sees Dr. Delavier is trying to use his crutch to get up. He grabs the crutch from under Dr. Delavier’s arms making him fall back down. Maelstrom raises it in the air to the cheers of his many fans & slides under the bottom rope with the crutch to continue the fight.

*Repeatedly Maelstrom hits the top rope with the crutch as he awaits Flex to rise to his feet. Slowly but surely Flex regains a vertical base as Maelstrom rams the brunt of the crutch to the small of Flex’s back! Flex recoils in pain as Maelstrom continues with a few more blows to the back as pay back from Flex’s damage to his back. Flex turns around & receives the crutch right to the top of his head & in almost Flair-like fashion goes cross-eyed, falling face first to the mat. Maelstrom drops the crutch going for a cover & hooks the leg.

1!

2!

NO!

*Kick out by Flex! Maelstrom is displeased & lifts Flex up by the head. In a bent over position Flex tries for a comeback & sends some gut swipes to Maelstrom, but Maelstrom has a bright smile on his face as he lifts up Flex & lands a heaving forearm to the chest that staggers Flex to the ropes. Maelstrom whips him across the ring & lifts up the foot for a Big Boot. But Flex holds onto the ropes. Maelstrom sees this & charges at Flex. SHOULDER BLOCK FROM HELL!!!! Both men are back on the outside!

*They each begin getting to their feet. Flex is up & it looks like he’s trying to high tail it out of there BUT Maelstrom is back on his feet & catches Flex, but as soon as Flex turns around he hurls a punch right in the direction of Maelstrom’s throat. It connects! The impact is so brutal Maelstrom drops to his knees grabbing a hold of his throat. Flex picks him up by the Fabio locks & puts his arms to each side grabbing a hold of them & Maelstrom’s waist & lifts him.

STUN GUN ON THE GUARD RAIL!!!

Maelstrom imitates his fish friends by flopping on the concrete floor. Flex follows up with a stiff shot to Maelstrom’s back. Maelstrom begins to get back up as Flex whips him right into the guard rail back first. Maelstrom is still in his pain as Flex sends a swift kick to the junk & puts Maelstrom’s head in between his legs. Veins protrude as Flex lifts up this man beast in a Power Bomb position. He has Maelstrom up &......CHUCKS HIM INTO THE FANS!!!! Fans are crushed under the pressure of the 286 lbs of Maelstrom weighing heavy on them. Some are trapped as Maelstrom is having trouble getting back up. While fans try to lift up Maelstrom Flex has already torn open the guard rail & makes his way over to Maelstrom. He upper cuts a guy helping Maelstrom up as another fan jumps on his back. A fan tries to help out, but sucker punches the guy on Flex’s back as Flex turns around. Flex sees the other fan & lifts him up in a Stacked Super Slam high above the audience! He chucks him several feet into more fans!

Maelstrom sees the carnage being caused & shakes off the cobwebs. His sights are set on a furious Flex Magnificent. Flex turns around & SPEAR BY MAELSTROM!!! Maelstrom follows it up with a barrage of fisticuffs to the face of Flex Magnificent. Flex rolls over & succeeds in returning the favor. Maelstrom kicks him off as the men successfully lock up with one another

GM: HOLY COW!! FLEX ACTUALLY HAS ON A SUCCESSFUL COLLAR & ELBOW! ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN IN THE EWT!!!

Flex gets the advantage & tries for a suplex. He keeps trying, but Maelstrom is not giving in. He’s only halfway up until....Maelstrom does a classic reversal & lands a textbook suplex on the floor to Flex Magnificent. Unfortunately it wasn’t the wisest decision for Maelstrom as his back took a good portion of that hold taking of the impact of not only the concrete floor but random scattered chairs, leaving both men on the floor hurting.

The referee is checking on both men. It appears they are able to continue as the referee backs off on them. They slowly get back to their feet again as Flex takes the upper hand again. He begins walking Maelstrom towards the entrance. He throws Maelstrom over the guard rail towards the entrance. Flex climbs over the rail & continues to chase Maelstrom. Maelstrom slowly gets up as Flex throws him right into a batch of equipment cases. The body of Maelstrom absorbs all those heavy boxes knocking them down while Flex follows Maelstrom’s beaten body. Flex grabs Maelstrom by the head & begins pounding it repeatedly into an equipment case. Flex lets go & throws Maelstrom down. Maelstrom is cut open & trying to regain his composure & continue on.

Flex walks over the bruised body of Maelstrom & begins pointing at him & berating him. Flex knows the match is in his favor now & spits on Maelstrom. Like a fish on dry land Maelstrom takes that spit & reenergizes. He grabs Flex by his g-string like trunks, regrets the idea, & uses it to spring Flex right into the curtain covering up the backstage area. Flex lunges head first into the curtain completely knocking it over & getting rolled up in the curtain.

With the curtain down we can now see The Handsome Boy Modeling School in the back watching the match. Ultimo Chocula is adjusting Billy Ubermark’s tights.

Billy Ubermark: You see. Handsome Boys help each other out. Now just stop fidgeting & STAY STILL!!!

Ultimo Chocula: C’mon! Do you have to do this? These new tights have a bit of a snug fit to them.

BU: YES I DO AND YES THEY DO! Not just stay still. We gotta do our best to impress the chicks with these new threads. *begins adjusting Ultimo’s crotch* Now listen.....Uuuuuuh.....Wait a second. I have the feeling that....

*Both men turn around to see that the entire audience is opened mouth & confused at what they are witnessing.

UC & BU: NO! NO! IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK!!!

*All of a sudden Flex bursts up underneath the curtains flailing at the air trying to get out. Immediately Maelstrom springs up on him as they roll into the back.

*Billy & UC look at each other & wipe the sweat off their brow as they rush out of the camera’s way.

*We continue to follow Flex & Maelstrom as they are now behind the scenes. Flex kicks off Maelstrom & takes off the black curtain. He sees Maelstrom getting up & knocks him down with a Lariat. Maelstrom hits the concrete as Flex catches his breath from being under that black curtain for so long. Maelstrom is getting to his feet as Flex walks up to him & catches him with blows to that injured back. Maelstrom won’t have any of his as he fires back with some blows to the stomach. Maelstrom seems to be getting the advantage as all of a sudden Flex grabs the camera out of the camera man’s hand & repeatedly beats on the back of Maelstrom with it. Being that is the only camera on them we don’t see the action, but the camera moving up & down real fast. Flex drops the camera as the screen goes to static.

*The camera shot is back on Gorilla & Jesse.

GM: Fans we have lost contact with both men as that was the only camera following them.

JV: My God, Monsoon! What brutality on the part of both men. I can’t believe the referee is letting these men still go at it. So far the fans have been involved, the camera man, & we even got to see Ultimo Chocula adjust Billy Ubermark’s tights! Now what the hell is that all about?

GM: I don’t know Jesse, but you are indubitably right. This match is surely a definition of a Pier 6 brawl. Will any of these men be in any condition to fight Outlaw after this match?

JV: I don’t know, Gorilla, but if things continue at this pace I won’t be surprised if Outlaw is declared champion by default. Incredible, Gorilla, incredible!

GM: Wait a second, Jess.....I have just received word that we do have another working camera man & he’s on his way to the whereabouts of Flex Magnificent & Maelstrom.

JV: But where are they, Gorilla?

GM: Hold on Jess....Wait......Wait.....Wait.....THEY’RE IN THE PARK!

JV: Talk about getting your money’s worth.

GM: Yes! They indeed have found their way into the park. And we’ll get the action to you as soon as the camera crew gets there. Alright fans! They are there! Let’s get back to action!

*The camera shows both men brawling through the Disney Land streets in the midst of many rides. They suddenly bring their brawling to very huge line. Surprisingly, they stay with the flow of the line & just brawl as they wait in line. The people waiting on line just stare awkwardly as each man exchanges a blow to the other with moving a inch to mess up the line. Some folks are with their kids & opt to get the hell out of the way eliminating 99% of the line. Droves of people are rushing their kids out of harms way as Flex & Maelstrom usher their way up the line.

*The camera catches a glimpse of the name of the ride....It’s SPACE MOUNTAIN!!!

*The “2001: A Space Odyssey” theme can be heard as the camera gets away from the action & focuses on whose at the front of the line. It closes in on a rather awkward ticket taker.

Ticket Taker: WOOOO! WOOOO!!! WOOOO!!!! WOOOOO!!!!! WOOOOO!!!! WOOOO!!!!

GM: HEY IT’S RIC FLAIR!!!!

*Ric Flair struts around & perks up like his taunt in SvsR while taking tickets from Disney Land patrons. All of a sudden Flex & Maelstrom are next in line.

Ric Flair: WOOO!!! WOOOO!!!! WOOOO!!!! *Maelstrom socks him in the face knocking him to the floor & making him throw all the tickets in the air* OOOOOOW!!!!

*Flairs holds onto his face as they enter the ride & several minutes later come out still brawling! They take it down to another ride.....A sign can be seen.....

“MR. TOAD’S WILD RIDE”

Both men enter the line, but this time scaring everyone out of their way. They make it to the entrance when......

Pimply-Faced Ride Assistant: *with a voice that cracks more than a Victrola record* Hey YOU TWO! If you wanna go on the ride you got to stop fighting!

*Flex & Maelstrom stop & look at each other & stop.

Flex & Mael In Unison: Oooooooh alright.

*They both get pumped up & take their seats.....Front row of course.

The ride begins as they have the time of their lives! The camera focuses on them going through a particular crazy portion of the ride.


Flex & Maelstrom in Unison: *with arms raised* WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

*They begin giggling & laughing at the grand ol’ time that they’re having. They hug each other & stop. They slowly stop laughing & gradually take their arms off from around one another. They stare at each other & begin to grow anger. With all the action going on in the ride a low roar can be heard. The intensity of sound is building up as you can literally see the veins protrude from both men & the hair grow thicker on their knuckles with disdain for one another. That low roar turns to growling leading into an......

Both Men: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*They burst throw the fireplace even before the ride can make it through! The ride soon follows whisking them up in it. Another camera is waiting by the exit as both men are pummeling one another on top of the seating. They stop real quick & get back in random seats as the Pimply-Faced Kid lets them out. They walk out like nothing has happened even though Flex has a black-eye & Maelstrom is bleeding more than before & his hair is disheveled. As soon as they are out of the ride they continue brawling.

*The chaos continues as their fury has turned them into a ball of rage! The ball makes it’s way towards Main St. As anything in it’s way gets consumed. An older man walks towards them & gets sucked up in the ball of flying fists & kicks. He flies out & lands on his feet looking like hell. His right eye is swollen shut, his horseshoe haircut is in a mess, his shirt is torn open, & sneakers are missing. He looks around & tries to walk it off as though nothing has happened & painfully smiles to everyone giving them a wave. As soon as he opens his mouth blood & teeth ooze out.

*The ball of rage moves on & grabs a hold of a Snow White. He flies out & is missing her skirt trying to cover up her shame as a bunch of drunk fathers leave their 12 year olds on their own & strut on over to the hapless Snow White. A tinted windowed fan pulls up & reels in the children with a fishing line of Dum Dum Lollipops & peels out.

*Rapidly the ball makes it’s way to Main Street as a person in a Goofy suit gets in their way. Immediately he’s sucked up. The ball continues on leaving Goofy in a lifeless mass on the floor. The costumed critter’s arms & legs are arranged in angles they are not meant to be in.

Goofy: AAAAH!!! For the love of God! I can’t feel anything below my waist! My neck! MY NECK!!! IT’S BROKEN!!! OOOOOH!!!! *begins crying*

Kid: *walks up to Goofy* Mommy! Goofy’s on the floor! Why are his neck like that!

Goofy: Ah! Kid! Get me some help! Have some mercy why don’t ya, huh?! C’mon!

Kid: Aaaawww I’ma kiss it & make it all better.

Goofy: *kid bends down & kisses him on his broken arm* AAAH!!!! Hey....Actually.....Can you go a bit lower?

*Goofy motions with his nonbroken arm to the kid’s posterior but quickly the mother rolls up her sleeve revealing a ripped vein, hairy forearm complete with anchor tattoo that would make even Popeye blush. She pulls pack her purse & whacks Goofy’s broken neck into another weird position. Goofy gives a low groan & passes out from the pain.

*Back to action!!!!

*Flex & Maelstrom have made their way to Main Street. The ball has calmed down now as Maelstrom gets the upper hand & grabs a little kid’s ice cream cone & smashes it in the face of Flex Magnificent. Flex gives out a vampire’s scream as he gives a right cross to Maelstrom’s face & throws him inside of a clothing store. They pop out again wearing random Disney t-shirts & accessories.

*Once they’re out Maelstrom hits Flex with a hefty headbutt. The effects daze Flex. Maelstrom lifts him up in a Power Slam position & rushes him right into the door of another store. It’s THE HAT STORE!!! The door flies off it’s hinges as both men pop out again brawling, but this time Flex is wearing a Mickey Mouse hat & Maelstrom has on a cap with Goofy ears.

*Wrestling prevails as they make their way to the center of Main Street! Maelstrom grabs Flex by the throat & lifts him up to the heavens!!! The referee has finally caught up to them & checks if Flex will submit. Flex yells, “No!” as Maelstrom drops Flex back first onto the hot tarmac with a SIT DOWN CHOKE BOMB!!!

*Flex’s legs are stiff from the impact as if he was caught in time. Maelstrom doesn’t waste a second & lands a Leg Drop right on the throat of Flex Magnificent. Flex rattles as Maelstrom picks him up by the throat! He knees him to the gonads & grabs him by the hair & tights & chucks him right into a kiosk of merchandise. Flex & the kiosk topple over as Maelstrom is on the war path. He calls for THE WHIRLPOOL!!!!

*Maelstrom lifts Flex up, but Flex gets his way out & flips over Maelstrom for a Sunset Flip! He succeeds! Maelstrom lands back first onto the concrete. The referee drops for a count!

1!

2!

SHOULDER UP!....Barely Maelstrom makes it out. It seems the back is really agitating him as he grabs a hold of it immediately after he gets the arm up.

*With the ball in his court Flex grabs a hold of Maelstrom’s legs & drags to the nearest store’s glass window. Maelstrom is definitely not digging the tarmac burn as Flex now has him in position. He synchs in his hold with Maelstrom &...........CATAPULT INTO THE STORE WINDOW!!! The glass caves in as Maelstrom flies right through. Maelstrom is just a blob of flesh now. Flex sees this as his time to shine & pull off the win & pulls Maelstrom out by his hair. He synchs in a Reverse DDT. Could this be? Is it? YES!!!! He grabs a hold of Maelstrom’s leg & flips him over for a MAGNIFICENT PECS!!!!!!

But he’s not letting go!!! He’s turned it into a submission!!!!

The referee sees this & checks with Maelstrom. Bloodied but battered Maelstrom is not giving in......Or is he?

Maelstrom raises his arm!

Maelstrom’s arm is shaking!!!!

He’s looks like he’s gonna do it!!!!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A bunch of kids jump on Flex’s stomach thinking it’s a ride! He releases the hold! Their mother shoos them away & takes a look at Flex. She pulls out a piece of paper with her number on it & passes it to Flex. He puts it in his G-string tights & snaps the waist band.

*Maelstrom is beginning to get up from the damage. He looks beaten & weary of his surroundings but he refuses to lose! He’s trying to shake the cobwebs off, but Flex refuses him his comeback with a boot to the face!!!

*Maelstrom is down on his back once again looking cross-eyed. Flex rushes into one of the stores & pulls out a table. He brings it right into the street & grabs Maelstrom & tries to lay him out on it. No success as Flex has taken too long. Maelstrom throws some punches Flex’s way. Flex’s face catches each punch knocking him to & fro. Maelstrom goes for another blow, but this time Flex blocks the punch. He pushes Maelstrom back with both hands. In his weakened state Maelstrom walks back a distance & almost tumbles. He maintains his vertical base as Flex charges with a Double Axe handle. He’s coming at him like a house on fire.


*Maelstrom ducks & BACK BODY DROPS FLEX INTO THE GLASSWORKS WINDOW!!!!!

*All that can be heard is crunching glass & girlish screams coming from Flex Magnificent. Maelstrom jumps into the window display following the path of blood coming from Flex’s body. Maelstrom like a shark sees blood & stalks Flex Magnificent & in a dazed demeanor still is conscious enough to beg off on Maelstrom. Maelstrom slowly makes his way towards Flex. But Flex sees a door of opportunity....actually a door to the roof & takes it. He begins crawling up the stairs as fast as he can. Maelstrom sees this & begins picking up the pace & follows Flex.

*Now Flex has made it to the roof & right on his toes is Maelstrom. Flex’s body is covered in cuts & blood from being Back Body Dropped into thousands of dollars of glass items. He just can’t take it anymore by the looks of the extent of the damage. Maelstrom slowly walks up to Flex & makes the slit throat motion to signal to Flex that IT IS OVER!

*Maelstrom walks over to Flex &.....LOW BLOW!!!! LOW BLOW!!! LOW BLOW!!!! Maelstrom is protecting what’s left of the family jewels as Flex makes it to his feet! Flex pulls his way up using Maelstrom’s torn up shirt. & makes it to his feet. Flex headbutts him as Maelstrom returns the favor. They continue back & forth inching back & back & back.. They begin exchanging blows but Maelstrom puts an end to it by poking flex in the eyes 3 Stooges Style & clotheslines the crap out of him! He bellows out a ferocious roar & points to the table Flex left out in the street in front of the store. He the signals for the....for the....VORTEX DROP!!!!!!

JV: He’s gonna try to end his career, Monsoon!

GM: My dear Lord. Is it worth it to end a man’s career because he destroyed your home. Maelstrom! Don’t do it! You’re better than this!!! YOU’RE BETTER THAN THIS!!!!

*Maelstrom begins to synch Flex up.....He’s got him ready, steady, &......NO!!!! Flex gets out of it & grabs Maelstrom & THEY FALL OF THE ROOF OF THE GLASSWORKS STORE!!!!!!

[Toom E. Guci]

GM: MY GOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Both men MISS the table & fall directly on the concrete!!!!!!!

*The referee motions for immediate medical attention. He bends down & checks on both men to see if they’re alright.

*Medical attention has arrived! Pluto, Donald, Chip, & Dale show up dressed as doctors carrying stretchers. They get both men up on them & exit with them as if nothing had happened. Huey, Dewey, & Luey distract onlookers to assure nothing has happened & urge them to continue to spend their hard-earned money on overpriced merchandise most likely built in a sweatshop for 100x less than what they go for.

GM: Oh my dear God.....Both men fell off of the roof of the Glassworks Shop. This is a sad day in wrestling history folks.

JV: Ah man....I can’t believe it! What an incredible display by both men. All the way throughout the park AND STILL WE HAVE YET TO GET A DECISIVE WINNER!!!!

GM: Simply unprecedented folks. I am utterly speechless. I have no idea what will be done. The only likely conclusion is that Outlaw will be handed the title!\

JV: Gorilla, I’m a tough man to sway when it comes to my favorite wrestlers, but I am going to have to agree with you that Outlaw IS the new Tri State Champion!

GM: Right now let’s go to the back as we try to restore some order here.

In the ring Mickey Mouse (well a man in a Mickey suit anyway) has the mike

MICKEY: Hello, and Boy am I glad to be here at this show!

The Crowd clearly not fans of the high-pitched mouse shout loud obscenities at him .. "Get on with the next match!" .. "Some one get a mousetrap" ... "We want Goofy"! ..

MICKEY: .. Ooh .. tough crowd ...anyway next match is for the EWT Tri-State Title ... and is the second half of the Double play Madness series! ... Introducing the challenger .. he comes from the tough arid desert of the West! .. he weighs at around the 300 pound mark .. he is The Outlaw Chris James!!

The Four horsemen music starts up and here comes the Outlaw on a fierce looking black stallion .. he reaches the side of the ring and the Horse rears up as Outlaw raises his hat. The crowd Boo's the Outlaw who enters the ring and clotheslines Mickey over the top and down to the arena floor. He picks up the mike

OUTLAW: Maelstrom!! ... get out here!! ... I demand my match! ... no injury is going to be used as an excuse to stop me from becoming EWT Tri-State Champion! ... I don't care what happened in your match with Flex! ..

Maelstrom's 'Apocalypse Please' begins to play and the lights change blue ... Outlaw looks worried that Maelstrom may actually show ... a few minutes pass .. still no Maelstrom .. the music stops

OUTLAW: I knew it ... you talk big ... but when it comes down to it and you have to meet a man one on one just like back in the west ... you turn yella! .. well dang it if you can't compete .. just forfeit the title! ..

Maelstrom's music starts again .. smoke rises ..Outlaw laughs it off and turns to the crowd to say what a joke this is ... as the cloud disperses ..its MAELSTROM!! ...but he's in a bad way .. a bloody bandage cris-crosses his head ... and his chest is heavily strapped up, mainly in the back area .. and a big supporting knee pad is on his right leg ... but Maelstrom slowly heads to the ring .. a look of anger on his face .. Outlaw turns back to the ramp and finds that Maelstrom is climbing the steps, he is shocked but regains his composure

OUTLAW: Well .. look at this you showed up .. now just hand the title over and you can go to you can go back to sea-world and I can go to the biggest Saloon in town! ... what'd ya say?

Outlaw passes the mike to Maelstrom .. a heavy 'Maelstrom' chant starts up. Maelstrom holds his back in pain

MAELSTROM: ... How about .. NO!

Maelstrom clocks Outlaw with a big boot knocking him down .. there is a huge cheer from the audience as the bell rings

Maelstrom slowly picks Outlaw up and then hits him with a bodyslam .. the pain is visible as he holds his back and uses the ring ropes to support himself. Outlaw recovers and seeing this charges and nails a high knee to Maelstrom's back .. the big man goes down .. Outlaw mocks him and picks him up and gives him a backbreaker ..cover

1,2,3 ....

Maelstrom kicks out .. the crowd is firmly on his side but the pain is there .. Outlaw is unrelenting and gives Maelstrom a few stomps as he gets to his feet. Maelstrom throws a haymaker of a punch .. but it is just too slow and Outlaw ducks and locks in an Abdominal Stretch! ... Maelstrom is in utter agony as Outlaw stretches the damaged back and ribs with the hold. The Ref asks if he will submit? .. but Maelstrom shakes his head .. Outlaw continues to apply the pressure but is being dragged to the side ropes ... Maelstrom is almost there ... he grabs them .. Outlaw has to break the hold!

The crowd cheers loudly for Maelstrom

Outlaw after briefly arguing with the Ref goes back and tries to lock in the abdominal stretch again .. but Maelstrom gives him an elbow to the face instead .. Irish Whip by Maelstrom to Outlaw into a one-handed side slam .. Maelstrom though is in pain and just manages to get a hand across Outlaw.

1,2 ...

Outlaw easily kicks out .. and rolls across into a headlock .. Outlaw pulls him up and hits a back drop. Outlaw indicates for the 'Round Up' .. the crowd desperately chanting for 'Maelstrom' as Outlaw goes to lock in the move .. but Maelstrom throws him off into the ropes .. kick to the gut .. he tries to lift Outlaw for the Whirlpool! .. but he just can't the injuries from his match with Flex is really doing its damage .. Maelstrom drops Outlaw .. The fans still backing Maelstrom as he in pain looks to see what he could do ... Maelstrom slowly grabs Outlaw and locks in the 'Water-on-the Brain'!! .. but Outlaw somehow had it scouted .. inside cradle!

1,2,3

Bell rings, and the Fink has returned for announcing duties

THE FINK: ... and the winner of this match ... A NEW EWT TRI-STATE CHAMPION!! .. the OUTLAW CHRIS JAMES!!

The crowd roars with Boos as Outlaw grabs the title and holds it tightly to his chest .. soda cans and popcorn is hurled at Outlaw who with a big smile on his face and the title around his waist celebrates ... Maelstrom remains on the floor of the ring .. a close up shot of his face can be seen, eyes of pure maddening fury ..he mouths the one word ..'FLEX' ...we fade out as the Outlaw heads up the ramp EWT Tri-State Title in his hands!

[Toom E. Guci]

* We cut backstage towards the interview area set up in Sleeping Beauty’s castle.*

Todd Grisham: Ladies & gentlemen, I am here with the first ever wrestler to have a Gay Marriage Ceremony in the ring, A-Bomb.

A-Bomb: Um, Todd…I don’t think the Disney executives will like to hear that in their theme park?

TG: Who cares…look at the money their making today thanks to us.

AB: Money that is equivalent to what they make every day?

TG: Fact of the matter is, you are the only openly legit homosexual who is not just a gimmic, but for real.

AB: Look Grisham, I may be “openly homosexual” as you call it, but must you remind folks ever single f***ing minute? I am so much more then that. I am a former tag team champion. I am a former World Champion. I have held belts in the WCF as well as the EWT. I am a legitimate bad ass….

TG: Who likes men’s asses.

AB: You know what? You’re really starting to get on my nerves. This interview is over.

* As A-Bomb walks out of from, he turns & nails a clothesline to Todd Grisham & starts pounding on him until security runs in & breaks it up. A-Bomb turns towards the camera:*

AB: It’s my turn now. I’m sick & tired of being on the sidelines while everybody else gets the glory that I so rightfully deserve. I don’t care who I have to face. Moxie. HitmanMark. Trik Turner. Deron Miller. Any of you punk asses here in EWT. I want back what is rightfully mine. And Limey, I am looking at you. I want back MY belt. Do you hear me? MY BELT!!!

* Cut back to ringside*

[Toom E. Guci]

Announcer: This next contest is scheduled for one fall. Making his way to the ring for his pay per view debut, Trik Turner. And his opponent from the great state of New Jersey…HitmanMark.

* As both men stand in the ring, Trik gives a dirty look to Hitman. The bell sounds as Trik charges at Hitman. Hitman ducks a clothesline & turns fast enough to nail a dropkick. Hitman grabs Trik again & nails a German Suplex on him. Hitman scoops up Trik & connects a bodyslam with the mat. Hitman goes to end it early, setting Trik up in a Sharpshooter. Trik manages to escape before it can be applied. Trik gets to his feet & charges at Hitman, who nails an armdrag takedown on Trik. Hitman gets on the second rope & drops an elbow down on Trik. Hitman scoops Trik & throws him into the ropes. Trik ducks a chop attempt & bounces back off the ropes with a flying elbow. Trik starts giving the boot to Hitman. Trik runs the ropes & hits a Lionsault onto Hitman. Trik quickly leaps on the top rope & jumps off with a Corkscrew Moonsault. Trik hops to his feet & lifts Hitman up, setting him up in a textbook suplex. Trik holds him up as the folks count up to 20. Trik drops backwards, crashing Hitman down on the canvas. Trik grabs Hitman & runs him into the turnbuckle. Trik grabs Hitman & hops onto the top turnbuckle. Hitman manages an escape with an elbow & then leaps up high enough, dropkicking Trik off the top rope, crashing onto the barricade outside. Hitman runs the ropes & leaps through the second & third rope with a suicide dive. Trik crashes backwards into the barricade.*

* Hitman scoops up Trik & throws him into the ring post. Trik manages a reversal & throws Hitman into the ring post. Trik jumps on the barricade & hits a missile dropkick onto Hitman. Trik grabs Hitman & throws him into the barricade, & dropkicks him hard enough to send him into the crowd. Trik gets climbs on top of the barricade & as Hitman gets to his feet, Trik leaps with a moonsault off the barricade onto Hitman. Hitman manages to dodge out of the way, as Trik crashes into the chairs. Hitman grabs Trik & DDT’s him on a chair still in the sitting position, as fans are moved aside. Hitman grabs chairs & starts moving them out of the way, making a clearing. Hitman grabs Trik & sets him up for a textbook suplex, as the fans start to count. The fans reach 30 as Hitman drops backwards, crashing Trik down on the cement. Hitman gets to his feet & points out towards the crowd. Hitman lifts up Trik & tosses him over the barricade. Hitman gets over the barricade & grabs Trik, throwing him back into the ring. Hitman climbs into the ring. Hitman gets to his feet & grabs Trik, hitting a Triple Play German Suplex. Hitman goes for a cover but Trik gets his foot on the rope. Hitman gets to his feet & starts kicking the leg of Trik. Trik manages to grab hold of Hitman’s foot & trips him up. Trik gets to his feet & throws Hitman into the ropes. Trik nails a Hurricanarama on Hitman. Trik runs the ropes & hits a baseball slide dropkick to the head of Hitman as Hitman’s trying to get to his feet. Trik grabs Hitman & drags him over to the ropes. Trik ties Hitman’s arms up in the ropes & starts throwing punches at him. Hitman uses his feet to kick at Trik. Trik runs the ropes & hits a highcross bodyblock that sends both he & Hitman flipping over the top rope to the outside. Trik gets to his feet & grabs Hitman. Trik Irish Whips Hitman into the Oompa Loompa Announce Table. Trik starts grabbing monitors off the table & rips part of the table off. Trik scoops up Hitman & slams him onto the table. Trik lifts up Hitman, setting his head between Trik’s legs. Trik leaps in the air, sending both he & Hitman crashing through the table with the Trik Turner. Both men lay in a heap with broken table around him. The Oompa Loompa’s scatter for cover. *

* Both men lay for a minute when Trik starts moving. Trik uses the barricade to help him to his feet. Trik lifts up Hitman & slides him into the ring. Trik goes for a cover. 1-2…Hitman manages to get his shoulder up, barely. A frustrated Trik gets to his feet & grabs Hitman. Trik scoops Hitman up & hits a running powerslam on him. Hitman tries to use the ropes to help him to his feet as Trik just stands there, watching. As Hitman struggles, Trik nails a Shining Wizard to the head. Trik quickly goes for a cover, but Hitman’s foot is under the bottom rope. A frustrated Trik gets to his feet & grabs the referee, arguing with him. Trik then nails the referee with a knee to the midsection & throws the referee out of the ring. Trik climbs out of the ring, grabbing a steel chair. Trik gets in the ring & brings the chair down on Hitman’s head, busting him open. Trik brings the chair down on Hitman’s leg. Trik drags Hitman into the center of the ring & grabs both his legs. Trik looks down at Hitman & starts mocking him. Trik positions his leg & starts to turn Hitman over, applying the Sharpshooter on him. Trik starts applying pressure as Hitman struggles for the ropes. Just then, a referee comes running down to the ring & gets in his position. The referee starts asking Hitman if he gives, but Hitman refuses to do so. Trik applies more pressure with the hold. Hitman struggles as blood is pouring down his face. Trik pulls back more when suddenly Hitman goes limp after 5 minutes. As the referee checks Hitman, he drops the arm once. Trik releases the hold & celebrates as if he won the match. The referee tries to tell him that he has not won the match when suddenly Hitman gets to his feet & nails a Triple Play German Suplex on Trik from behind. Hitman gets to his feet as the blood continues to go down his face. Hitman picks up Trik & hits him with a piledriver. Hitman starts kicking at Trik & throws him into the ropes. Hitman nails a spinning heel kick on Trik. *

* Hitman slides out of the ring & reaches underneath the ring. Hitman pulls out a table & slides it under the bottom rope into the ring. Hitman then goes back under the table, where he pulls out a ladder. Hitman slides the ladder into the ring. Hitman sets the ladder up in the corner & grabs Trik, throwing him into the ladder. Hitman busts Trik open with this. Hitman sets the table up in the ring & then sets the ladder up. Hitman throws Trik into the ropes & nails a hiptoss onto the table. Hitman climbs the ladder & looks down on Trik. Hitman does the sign of slashing his throat & leaps off the 10-foot high ladder. Hitman nails a flying headbutt to Trik that smashes the table, sending both men down hard. A now bloody Hitman & bloody Trik lay motionless in the ring as the fans go crazy. Hitman reaches for the ropes & struggles to his feet. Hitman grabs Trik & sets him up, nailing a Dragon’s Wings on him. Hitman goes for the cover as the referee counts the 1-2-3. A bloody Hitman gets to his feet as the referee holds his hand up for the victory. Hitman looks down at a bloody Trik & just shakes his head in disapproval, as we cut backstage to the next segment. *

[Toom E. Guci]

-=Scene=-
Time has passed and still Paul Podanski has not cracked nor have his fat pudgy wrists been able to break the zippy ties. Senor Splash, however, may be reaching an all-new level of hammered. So hammered in fact he’s regressed to a very depressed, morbid state. Senor is sitting on Paul’s lap with his arm around him, crying into his scraggily beard.

-=Senor Splash=-
And then…when I was ocho…mi madre left me in Caldor! I was all alone…in the puta’s lingerie department…it was this labyrinth-o of A-cups and B-cups and even Double D-cups! I couldn’t get out! Then one of employees took me to the women’s bathroom…and…and…she made me find the M&Ms under her Lane Bryant stretch pants! It was awful!

-=Scene=-
Paul rolls his eyes as doesn’t know which is worse having an aging luchadore blubber tears all over him with a bigger beer belly & matted chest hair that reaches out like an octopus or having to watch blurry episodes of “Dusty’s Place” featuring religious dance offs with him & Sweet Sapphire.

-=Paul Podanski=-
Oh mother of God! End it! Just please END IT!!!

-=Senor Splash=-
And then...And then...mi madre she began selling me y mi 30 hermanos y 17 hermanas to random-o people to pay-o for her QVC Julio Iglesias Cubex Cerconia giant hoop earrings! She sole mi hermano Cheeto to a man name El Puerqo for a pack of Suerte Strikes-o. Y mi hermana Lupita she sole for a pack of de Tic-a Tac-as. And when dey came to me she kept me because she say dat de Purina Puppy Chpw people didn’t want to use me o my meat because I’m tainted-o!!! EVEN THE PUPPITOS WON’T EAT ME!!!!!

-=Scene=-
Senor falls onto the floor into a ball and belts his eyes out like a 14 year old that got stood up for her grade school dance. He slithers into his own world of depression and solitude, leaving an opportunity for Paul. Paul tries to break the zippie ties but it’s no use. He tries again, but he can’t. He looks up at a clock & realizes his match is coming up.

-=Paul Podanski=-
Jeeesus! I’m sobering up & can’t break free! What the hell is it gonna take for me to get the hell out of here!!!

-=Scene=-
Salvation arrives as Paul looks up to the TV with “Dusty’s Place” on & cringes as a shirtless Dusty Rhodes is mopping up the floor’s of his bar.

-=Dusty’s Voice on the TV=-
Oooooo wut dat Sweet Sapphire? My glistenin’ muscles be turnin’ you on? Oooo now why don’t ya c’mon ova to ol’ Star Dust & let him lay da Funky Monkey on ya, if ya wheel!

-=Paul Podanski=-
Ugh, who the hell was trying to pick this show up Cinemax & Animal Planet? UGH, NOW SHE’S TAKING HER SHIRT OFF! I CAAAAAN’T STAND IT!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

-=Scene=-
Paul finals snaps all the zippie ties & is finally free minutes before his match with Paraslice. But there’s only one issue remaining...He’s now COMPLETELY SOBER! Paul shifts through literally hundreds of bottles looking for something that still has residue of alcohol. He pokes his eye in numerous bottle but not a drop. Senor Splash drank it all. Out of nowhere Paul hears moaning & groaning from the TV set. He shields his eyes & takes a bottle & smashes the TV screen. It’s demolished as Paul stands amongst a sea of empty bottles & a pathetic muy gordo luchadore.

-=Paul Podanski=-
I never thought it’d come to this. He steals my mother, he steals my pride, he even stole ME, but it seems I’m gonna have to take on that Ben & Jerry’s suckin s###head .....Sober. Now I’M Appalled. Ugh, let’s get this #### done.

-=Scene=-
Paul kicks Splash who whimpers even louder, but rolls on his stomach & quiets down. Paul leaves & slams the door behind him.

[Toom E. Guci]

*Tony Chimel enters the ring as the crowd chant “GND!” in preparation. *

Chimel: The following contest is scheduled for one-fall, and it is for the EWT GND CHAMPIONSHIP!!

*The crowd continues their “GND!” chants. *

Chimel: Introducing first…

*Maritime hits as several male Hawaiian dancers rush out. Each of them is holding flaming torches. The dancers juggle the flaming batons between themselves before indicating to the entranceway…Oceanic makes her way out to a huge pop!!! She is holding two flaming batons…and she effortlessly twirls them above her head, throwing them high in graceful spins before catching them as they fall into her hands. She eventually finishes her display before handing the batons to the dancers. She gives each of them the “hang lose” sign before making her way to the ring to a huge pop and chants of “OCEANIC!”*

Chimel: From Kauai, Hawaii…she is the current number one contender for the GND Championship! Ladies and gentlemen…OCEANIC!!!!

*Oceanic gets into the ring, and appeals to the crowd as they chant her name. *

*”She’s Got Issues” hits, and Carla makes her way out to an equally big pop! She throws the horns high as green firework pyro shoots out three times! The crowd cheer as Carla makes her way down to the ring! *

Chimel: Aaaaaaaand her opponent, from Rochester, New Hampshire…she is the CURRENT, REIGNING, and DEFENDING GND Division Champion…Carla O Woe!!!

*Carla appeals to the crowd as they chant for Carla! Oceanic politely applauds her from where she is standing! Carla slides in, and appeals on the turnbuckle, holding her GND Division title high for all to see! She then fastens it around her waist, and does a backflip off the turnbuckle, turning to face Oceanic. The bell sounds, and the match is underway! *

*Carla unfastens her title from her waist, and hands it to the ref, who holds it high, and then passes it to Chimel, who leaves the ring. Oceanic and Carla then circle each other, before Carla extends her hand. Oceanic smiles at this before accepting the handshake. The two then break, before circling each other again…Oceanic and Carla move into a lock-up…and takes the arm of Carla, spinning it for an arm wrench, and then dropping to the floor, essentially taking down Carla with a face crusher! Oceanic then keeps the arm wrench applied…and brings it behind Carla’s back in a hammerlock, before jumping over Carla’s body with a bridge! The crowd applaud this technicality as Carla tries to fight back, getting to her knees, then raising to her feet…Oceanic keeps the hammerlock applied with her back to Carla…Carla slowly moves her arm out of the hold…and brings in Oceanic for a backslide!! *

1,
2…

*Oceanic counters by rolling down from the hold onto Carla with a reverse chin lock! Carla gets up to her feet…and pushes Oceanic to the ropes…Oceanic rushes back at Carla with a shoulder block!! Oceanic then grabs Carla’s ankles, and attempts a pin with a bridge!!*

1,
2…

*And Carla kicks out. The two women get to their feet, and Oceanic is up first. She approaches Carla, who immediately hits an armdrag! Oceanic rolls to her feet and hits Carla with an armdrag of her own! Carla rolls out as well before leaping at Oceanic with a dropsault…Oceanic dodges it, Matrix-style to a huge “OOOH!!” from the crowd! Carla, however, is quickly to her feet, and as Oceanic bends back forward to a standing position, Carla attempts a back body drop…Oceanic lands on her feet, and quickly runs to the apron, maneuvering to the outside and spring boarding to the confused Carla…hitting her with a flying cross body and hooking the leg!!*

1,
2…

*And Carla is able to get the shoulder up! Oceanic gets to her knees, and applauds Carla before grabbing her leg, and applying a standing toe hold, spinning the ankle round…Carla suddenly rises up, and brings Oceanic in for a small package!!!*

1,
2…

*Oceanic kicks out, and stumbles to her feet as Carla remains where she is!! Oceanic, trying to get back into the action, approaches Carla…Carla springs up with a laying hurricanarama!! Oceanic goes flying by the hurricanarama, and lands at the corner of the ring! She lifts herself up by use of the ropes…Carla walks over to her, and hits a front dropkick to her, planting her in the corner! Carla then lifts Oceanic up to the top of the turnbuckle…Oceanic fights back with punches before pulling Carla up right to the top rope…and soaring over her, bringing her down FROM THE TOP ROPE WITH A SUPER SUNSET FLIP!!!*

1,
2…

*Carla manages to fall backwards to her feet, and she instinctively hits a front dropkick to the face of Oceanic!! Carla and Oceanic are both downed as the crowd chant “GND!”*

*Carla and Oceanic try to recover, with Carla helping herself up by use of the ropes, and Oceanic by lifting herself up to her knees. Carla is first up, and she decides to capitalize on the situation by moving to the apron…Oceanic suddenly rushes Carla with a shoulder block! Carla is stunned, but hangs onto the top rope as Oceanic gets to her feet…and rushes over Carla with a neckbreaker, sending both women to the outside!!!*

*The crowd chant “GND!” as Oceanic rushes to her feet, holding at her neck! Carla is down from the attack, but, stunned as she is, she pulls at the ring to try and hoist herself up…Oceanic then runs up the back of Carla to the apron, before leaping off the ropes in an Asai moonsault!!! She his Carla, and both women fall to the floor! The crowd starts chanting “OCEANIC!!!” as Oceanic gets to her knees, and gives the “hang loose” sign to the crowd in appreciation! Oceanic then proceeds to pick up Carla by the head, and plant her to the guardrail!! Oceanic then backs away, and looks to try a Foley clothesline over the guardrail as she rushes at Carla…Carla falls to the floor, and Oceanic flies over the guardrail, hitting the front row (who have moved out of the way)!! Oceanic is stunned at this, but tries to recover…as Carla climbs onto the guardrail, and observes Oceanic as she gets up…leaping off the guardrail for an Elix Skipper hurricanarama!! Oceanic crashes into a row of chairs as the crowd cheer and chant “GND!!”*

*Carla and Oceanic are both obviously tired from both of their efforts to keep the other down. Carla is the first one up to her feet, and she picks up Oceanic, taking her to the guardrail! Carla then places Oceanic’s head on the guardrail before climbing it, and appealing to the crowd…before leaping off with a leg drop…Oceanic moves her head out of the way, sending Carla down to hit nothing but floor!! Carla gets up and holds her tailbone as Oceanic…jumps onto the guardrail and leaps off at Carla with a flying lariat!!! Carla is down as Oceanic gets to her feet and points at the top turnbuckle for a huge pop!! Oceanic climbs to the apron, and then climbs to the top turnbuckle! Carla is still leveled, and Oceanic appeals to the crowd before leaping off the top rope with a SUPERFLY SPLASH!!! SUPERFLY SPLASH CONNECTS!!! Oceanic appeals to the crowd as the crowd chant “GND!” and “OCEANIC!!”*

*Oceanic decides to make this formal, so she picks Carla up, and rolls her into the ring before pointing to the turnbuckle and declaring “ONE MORE TIME!!!” for another large pop!! Carla is still motionless as Oceanic climbs to the apron before climbing the top rope…Carla swiftly intercepts Oceanic, and hits a shot to the ribs, stunning Oceanic! Oceanic falls forward, but not from the turnbuckle. Carla then hits a few more shots before attempting to throw Oceanic off with a top rope armdrag…Oceanic flips out of it and lands on her feet!! Oceanic immediately capitalizes by charging Carla into the corner, and performing a chop to Carla’s neck! Oceanic then lifts Carla to the top rope, and appeals to the crowd as she hits a frankensteiner…Carla hangs onto Oceanic’s ankles, and hooks the arms…leaping off with a SUPER STYLES CLASH!!! CARLA GOES FOR THE PIN!!!*

1,
2…

*OCEANIC KICKS OUT!!! Carla can’t believe it as she sits there shocked!! Carla gets to her feet, and puts her hands on her hips, before making the “It’s over!” sign, and grabbing Oceanic’s limbs…hooking them for the Devil Lock!! Oceanic tries to fight out of it desperately!! Oceanic endures the hold as Carla keeps it applied!! Oceanic tries to make her way to the ropes…Carla drags her right back to the center of the ring!!! Oceanic endures the pain as the ref asks her if she wants to quit…Oceanic shakes her head!! She wants the gold!! Oceanic tries crawling to the ropes…Carla again drags her back!!! Oceanic is reeling in pain as Carla steps over the toes and applies a face lock! Oceanic is in a lot of pain, but still doesn’t tap!! Oceanic gets a free hand…and grabs at Carla’s hair!! Carla tries to fight out of it, but Oceanic strikes Carla until Carla loosens the hold! Oceanic kicks at Carla with her free leg…Carla applies a leg grapevine! Oceanic, however, is not done yet as she shuffles backwards to the ropes!! Oceanic grabs hold of the ropes…and lifts herself up!!! Carla, seeing this, keeps hold of Oceanic’s trapped leg as she rises with Oceanic! Carla tries a clothesline to Oceanic, but Oceanic catches Carla with a shot to the face! Carla stumbles back, still holding Oceanic’s leg…Oceanic suddenly hits a hard ENZIGURI!! Both women fall to the floor as the crowd pop!!*

*Oceanic pulls herself up in the corner, and looks down at Carla, who is face up on the mat…and sighs…before lifting herself up to the corner once more! The crowd pop as she calls for the Superfly Splash again! She leaps off onto Carla…Carla gets her knees up!! Oceanic hits Carla’s knees and lands on her back, clutching at her gut! Carla crawls over to her, and hits a few punches to her before getting to her feet…and approaching the turnbuckle!! Carla then calls for the Eye Candy as she springs to the top rope…Oceanic falls on the top ropes, causing Carla to slip!! Oceanic then hangs onto the rope to catch her breath…before going over to Carla…and lifting her over her head in a QUEEN SUPLEX…WITH A BRIDGE!!!*

1,
2…

*CARLA KICKS OUT!!! Oceanic can’t believe it…but has a little plan! Oceanic makes her way to the ropes, and stalks Carla, indicating for her to get up!! Carla eventually gets to her feet, dazed, as Oceanic, right behind Carla, is indicating for her to turn round!! Carla turns…and is hit with an Irish whip from Oceanic!! Carla hits the ropes, and runs back at Oceanic, who performs a leapfrog!! Carla rebounds off the ropes again, as Oceanic performs another leapfrog!! Carla rebounds a third time as Oceanic drops to the mat, prompting Carla to jump her! Oceanic then jumps to her knees and hits the rebounding Carla with a SNUKA BACKHAND!!! Oceanic then appeals to the crowd, who are cheering her like crazy, as Oceanic approaches the downed Carla ready for THESE ARMS ARE SNAKES…Carla hits a hard elbow to Oceanic, stunning her!! Carla then gets to her feet, and waits for Oceanic to turn, before hitting her with an STO!!!*

*With Oceanic down, Carla immediately drags her to the corner, and appeals to a huge pop!! Carla then springs up to the top, and leaps off with the EYE CANDY…Oceanic gets HER knees up! Carla hits Oceanic’s knees, and lands back on her feet, clutching at her stomach…Oceanic swiftly takes Carla down from where she is laying with a drop toe hold…and leaping to Carla’s head area! Carla picks herself up to a seated position, only to fall prey to THESE ARMS ARE SNAKES!!!! THESE ARMS ARE SNAKES LOCKED IN!!!*

*The crowd cheer loudly as Carla tries desperately to shift herself to the ropes…Oceanic drags Carla back to the center of the ring! Carla holds out against the pain…and tries to stand to her feet…Oceanic knees Carla in the back, and throws her back down to the seated position!!! Carla once again tries to shuffle to the ropes…Oceanic drags her right back!!! Carla is screaming in pain, and is approached by the referee, who asks her if she wants to quit…*



…





*CARLA QUITS!!! CARLA QUITS!!! OCEANIC WINS!!! OCEANIC WINS!!! OCEANIC HAS WON THE GOLD!!!!*

Here is your winner…AND NEW EWT GND DIVISION CHAMPION….OCEANIC!!!!!!



*Oceanic has finally done what she has come to EWT to do!! She releases the hold on Carla and falls back to the mat, exhausted, but triumphant!!! The referee approaches her, and hands her the title! Oceanic gets to her knees, and takes the title, tearful!! Oceanic then clutches at the title as the crowd chant “GND!” to honor not only both these athletes, but also every talented wrestler in the GND Division!!! Carla, who has managed to get to her feet by use of the ropes, appears extremely disappointed with the outcome, but at the same time, is happy that she found an extremely worthy challenger!! Oceanic gets to her feet, and holds the title high, proud of her achievement! Oceanic then turns to Carla, who is applauding her! Carla looks at the GND Division title, and sighs. She then looks up at Oceanic, and smiles at her. Carla compliments Oceanic, and raises her hand!! The crowd cheer at this impressive display of sportsmanship, as Oceanic and Carla then hug in the middle of the ring! Carla then leaves the ring (to large chants of “GND” in support) as Oceanic then raises the title high above her head! Oceanic has been crowned the new GND Division champion!!*

[Toom E. Guci]

* The camera starts panning the crowd, showing all the cheering fans as the commentators are talking. *

Jesse Ventura: Well Gorilla, this has been an exciting pay per view. And it’s been that much better because I am here. Look at all these fans that came out to see me.

Gorilla Monsoon: I do not think they are here for you Jesse. But, you’re right. This has been an exciting pay per view. And these fine young women sure did deliver the action. Hey, wait a minute. Jesse, do you see who I see?

JV: What is it Monsoon?

GM: I don’t know…director please listen to me. Zoom in on that fan. No, not him, the girl. Zoom in on the girl.

* The camera zooms in closer to a female fan.*

GM: Jesse, do you recognize that young lady?

JV: Gorilla, if you’re thinking what I’m thinking…all I can say is that girl right there is a mystery. We need to get back to the ring for more action.

Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!

Remedy starts up as Eddie Omega heads down to the ring, making his return to action after recovering from having that broken arm in that cast. The crowd douses him with boos.

Announcer: From Washington D.C., weighing in at 260 pounds... Eddie Omega!!!

Omega heads down to the ring... pumped and ready for his return match. He hops up onto the apron and quickly climbs into the ring... doing his usual opening spiel. He stands in the center of the ring, awaiting his opponent.

He doesn't have to wait long as School's Out for the Summer hits and Chance Confidence heads out to the stage, to his usual mixed reaction... though in this case, the crowd is more for him then against him.

Announcer: And from England... weighing in 240 pounds, Chance Confidence!!!

Chance slowly walks down the ramp, Omega simply waiting for him in the ring he vaults into the ring, heads to the nearby turnbuckle and does his pre match handstand, then hops down... staring back at Omega... ready to take him out.

The bell rings and these two immediately lock up... Chance goes behind Omega, attempting a German suplex, Omega fights out of it, going behind Chance for one of his own, he gets it, but Chance somehow lands on his feet, charging forward... going for a spinning heel kick, Omega turns around and catches him, going for a powerbomb... but Chance turns that into a hurricanarama!!! The crowd gives these two a huge ovation for the very fast paced exchange as the two stare back at each other.

Omega circles the ring, looking for an opening as Chance follows suit... once again these two lock up... Omega lifts Chance up for a suplex... but he drops behind and grabs Omega from behind and nails a reverse DDT sending him into the mat. Chance quickly gets to his feet and attempts a moonsault splash on Omega... but he rolls out of the way. Confidence groans, as his chest slams into the mat. He quickly nips up, only to get taken down by a vicious lariat from Omega, who goes for the first fall of the match. 1...2....

Chance kicks out. Omega growls, hoisting him to his feet and starting to hit some stiff chops to his chest, Chance reeling a bit from each one. Omega eventually gets him near the turnbuckle, going for another lariat, Chance quickly ducks underneath, Omega stopping himself before he can slam into the turnbuckle... but Chance nails him from behind with a dropkick, Omega's face slamming into the padding. Chance grabs him and goes for a backslide pin. 1...2....

But this time Omega kicks out! Chance looks down at Omega, leaping up and going for the twisting splash, Omega getting his knees up. Chance acks... the air knocked right out of him. Omega slowly rises back to his feet. Chance follows, as soon as he does, Omega grabs him and launched him with an overhead belly to belly! Chance goes flying, hitting the mat hard. Omega walks over... then grabs Chance's leg and lifts it up, hitting a knee smash on him. Chance yelps out in pain... as Omega lifts him up for yet another one.... and slams him down hard!!! He immediately takes that same leg and goes to lock in a half Boston crab.

Chance groans and starts trying to struggle towards the ropes, in an attempt to break the submission, but Omega just doesn't want to seem to let him do so... though you can't really blame him. Confidence however continues to fight, soon making some progress... as he slowly inches towards the ropes.... and managing to grab them. Omega can't believe it... breaking the hold after a 4 count. He reaches down, grabbing Chance by the waist, then slamming him down with a German release suplex... once again sending Chance flying. Confidence groans again, now rolling onto his back. Omega smirks to himself, quickly climbing up onto the nearby turnbuckle... and leaping off looking for a double foot stomp right onto Chance's already hurting leg... and nails it!!! Chance yelps out again, holding the sore leg.

Omega proceeds to do even more damage, grabbing the leg Chance's holding and stomping on it a few times. The crowd boos a bit. Omega is obviously trying to ground Chance so he won't be able to pull off any of his high flying quick moves. Omega lifts up Chance... grabbing him and hoisting him up high, perhaps going for the shin breaker, but we'll never know because Chance grabs Omega with a headlock in mid air and takes him down with a bulldog!!! Eddie's face slams hard into the mat... as Chance somehow again nips up to his feet. He immediately goes after Omega, rolling him over and then nailing a flipping leg drop right across his recently injured arm! Omega acks and holds it in pain now. Chance quickly grabs the arm again, and hits an arm breaker on it... doing further damage.

He immediately follows that up by locking in a fujiwara armbar!!! Omega acks and groans... trying to resist tapping out as well now, but Chance not showing him any mercy since he didn't show him any. He continues to grind and tear away at that arm of Omega... but the frat boy quickly attempts to roll out of the submission... but Chance rolls with him... now putting a vice grip with his legs around Omega's body! Omega moans and reaches for a nearby rope... but Chance keeps on with his relentless assault on the arm, holding Omega back. Eventually though, out of pure luck, he manages to grab the bottom rope... breaking the up the submission as Chance lets go. He slowly rises to his feet... holding his still sore leg. But regardless... he charges forward, going for something on the rising Omega, but he quickly grabs Chance, stopping him and flinging him over the top rope with another belly to belly suplex!!! Chance goes flying to the outside... slamming hard into the ground on the outside.

The crowd is really into this match. Omega climbs to the outside apron... then leaps off with a leg drop attempt, to Chance's throat. But again, Chance being as relentless as he is, gets his foot up and catches Omega right on the jaw! He acks and falls down... on the other side of Chance. The referee has no choice but to start counting. 1...2....3....4....5....6....7...8....9

But right before the 10 count, both men get up and reenter the ring... both pretty hurt from this match. Chance holds his leg... as Omega holds his own sore arm. The two eye each other and start exchanging various attacks... Chance nails a kick to Omega's leg... Omega nails an overhead palm slap to Chance's chest... Chance follows up with a knife edge chop to Omega... he follows that with a simple punch to Chance's face. Chance groans, reeling back a bit as Omega charges forward for a clothesline, but Chance desperately counters, nailing an arm drag... dragging the same arm he's been working on already. Omega yelps... hitting the amt but quickly getting back up, charging forward again, but Chance leaping up high, Omega running under him, he bounces off the ropes and comes back once again... Chance tries to counter with a stiff kick, but Omega catches it... Chance goes for the enziguri... but Omega ducks underneath it. He then hoists Chance up high and slams him hard into the mat with a powerbomb!!! He goes for another cover 1....2....

But no! Chance just manages to get the shoulder up. Omega can't believe it. He lifts Chance back up... only to get nailed with a desperate standing bicycle kick... nailing Omega in the face and sending him reeling back. Chance quickly charges forward, propelling himself into the air with Omega's arms, then hitting him with a hard dropkick. Omega goes down hard. Chance of course goes down pretty hard too. Once again, the referee starts to count them out. 1...2....3....4....5....6....7...

But both men are up this time at the 7. The two look at each, then once again lock up... Omega quickly overpowering Chance, lifting him for a belly to back suplex and nailing it, slamming him down pretty hard. Chance groans as Omega leaps up with a knee drop right across the still sore leg of Confidence. He yelps out once again in pain... practically writhing in it right now, as he holds his even more sore leg. Omega gets to his feet and leaps up with another attempt... and again connects! Chance's leg has got to be in screaming pain... but somehow Confidence is refusing to give up. Eddie reaches down, grabbing the leg and lifting it up... perhaps intending to snap it back down and possibly in half. However... Chance uses his free foot and nails a stiff kick to Omega's own legs... causing him to release the hold. Chance then rises slowly to his feet, shaking off the cobwebs. Omega grabs him from behind, going for a tiger suplex... but Chance quickly fights out of it with some stiff elbows shots... Omega breaking the hold and Chance immediately leaping up with a landing dropsault!!! Of course... the landing is a bit awkward... but Chance still lands on his feet Omega stumbles backwards... as Chance immediately connects with a second one... this one enough to take Omega down to the mat.

Chance is now kneeling down... holding his sore leg still... those last two moves obviously took a bit more out of him as well. However Chance doesn't know when to quit apparently, charging forward and leaping up high... nailing a shooting star press... modifying it a bit and landing with his knees smashing into the gut of Omega. He groans in pain as Chance hooks the leg and goes for another cover. 1....2....

NO!!! NO!!! Omega somehow... someway kicks out! He groans, now holding his sore chest area. Confidence rolls away desperately from Omega, also trying to recover. Once again, these two start to rise at the exact same time. The two stare each other down once again... each man taking some time to recover some stamina, in this stand off. These two just can't seem to get one up on each other. Omega and Confidence immediately charge each other at the same time... each going for a flying clothesline... and each one nailing the other.. again at the same time! Both men fall down hard to the mat. However... again... out of pure desperation they each get back to their feet before the referee can even begin to count them out. The crowd is still into the match.

Chance and Omega slowly approach each other again, Omega quickly whipping Confidence hard and into a nearby turnbuckle! He quickly charges into the corner, nailing him with a hard knee right to the chest. Confidence slumps down...a s Omega starts to nail The Pledges... kicking harder and harder with each one. Confidence groans... as Omega finishes, signaling for the end perhaps. As he puts Omega onto the top of the turnbuckle... then climbs up there with him, looking for the Omega Psi Slamma...

But Chance again desperately fights back... kicking him hard and fast with his own feet. Omega in knocked off... landing on his feet. Chance leaps off immediately, grabbing Omega as he lands and going for the Confidence Breaker... but Omega, countering it.. lifting Chance up high and nailing him with a spinebuster hard to the mat! Again he goes for a cover. 1....2....

How much more energy does Chance have?! He kicks out once again... Omega couldn't be more frustrated right now. He slowly gets to his feet... lifting Chance up quickly, into a brain buster and slamming him hard into the mat... going for a second cover! 1....2.....

But Chance gets the shoulder up... Omega looks like he's seen a ghost now. He hoists Chance up one more time, going for another powerbomb, but Chance again... desperately turns it into a tornado DDT... planting Omega and himself once again onto the mat. Another referee count. 1....2....3.....4...5....6...7.....8..9....

But once again... these two get to their feet. Chance immediately charges forward, grabbing Omega and this time nailing a 260 pound Confidence Breaker!!! The crowd pops massively as Chance then gets up to his feet... leaping up onto the turnbuckle... cringing a bit as his leg is still hurting, going for the Confidence Booster!!!

But Omega rolls out of the way... in pure instinct!!! Chance slams hard into the mat... pretty much dazed at this point. Omega looks over, rolling over and draping an arm across Omega. 1...2....

Again... it's still no... Chance once again gets a shoulder up. Omega groans... as these two still lay nearly motionless on the mat. The count begins once again. 1....2.....3.....4.....5.....6.....7.....8.....9

But again... these two struggle back to their feet. Both of them are practically on spaghetti legs. They've thrown almost everything they dish at each other. Omega looks at Chance... Chance looking back at Omega, each one wanting to pin the other obviously. However... their attempts so far have been with no success. The two slowly walk up to each other... and the fists start flying! The two begin exchanging stiff punches, each one stumbling back a bit as each one lands. Omega has the advantage still... as he immediately charges forward, Chance dropping him though, but him landing on the ring apron. Omega goes for a punch... Chance ducks it. He grabs Omega... going for... you've gotta be kidding!!! He goes for an Ultimo DDT... flipping down and taking Omega out... as well as himself, as their heads collide as a result of the move somehow. The two lay motionless on the outside of the ring. The referee counts once again.

1......


2.....


3....


4....


5.....

6....

7...

8....

Chance and Omega both try to rise up once again...

9....

But at the last second, they both collapse to the ground in a heap.

10!!!

The crowd starts chanting " That was Awesome!!! * clap clap clap clap clap * That was Awesome!!! * clap clap clap clap clap *

Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen.... this match as a result of DOUBLE KNOCKOUT... this match has been ruled as a draw!!!

Chance and Omega continue to lay there motionless. The last move apparently busted them wide open. A few EMTs walk out... as well as the P.T.A.. The EMTs slowly lift both men onto stretchers... and exit the ringside area. As the two leave... the crowd gives them a huge standing ovation... even bigger than the one at the start of the match. Pain and Canceler accompany Omega as he's taken off.

[Toom E. Guci]

* We cut now to Mean Gene Okerlund who is in the crowd with the fans.*

MGO: Ladies & gentlemen, as well as Mouseketeers, I have the utmost privilege of coming out amongst the people for this next interview. It seems a familiar face is here in the audience that we have not seen on EWT TV since Girl’s Night Out. It has been a mystery for where this girl has vanished to, but now it seems the mystery has ended.

* Mean Gene walks up to the fan that the camera was zoomed in.*

MGO: Excuse me, miss. Mystery, where exactly have you been all this time?

Fan: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

MGO: Yes you do, young lady. You are former EWT hardcore Girl Next Door division superstar, Mystery. And we have not seen you in a long time.

Fan: Look, I came to Disney Land with my family. I haven’t a clue as to who you’re talking about.

MGO: Are you trying to imply that you do not know who you are? Because amnesia is the stupidest thing to do…just as Mick Foley.

Fan: Look, you want the truth? Yes, I am Mystery. Ok, are you happy? But I do not wrestle anymore. After the Girl’s Night Out pay per view, my family made me seek psychiatric help. I was in a freaking hospital. And for what? My family thought I was crazy.

MGO: You were crazy! You sang songs during your promos. You were in love with a steel chair, for crying out loud. You were not normal. Your family was very smart in doing so.

Mystery: I’m not crazy Gene. I am normal. You’re the one who is crazy. For crying out loud, you had sex with a dead woman.

MGO: Mommytaker was NOT dead. She was very much alive.

M: You impregnated her then made her lose her baby.

MGO: IT WAS’T…MY FAULT!!!

M: I am done with wrestling. I am done with it all. I am done with you. And I am done with this business.

MGO: Then why are you here?

M: Like I said…I am here with…my family.

MGO: Then where is your family right now?

M: Look, I don’t have to answer your questions anymore.

MGO: Where is your family, Mystery?

M: Look, I don’t need this abuse.

* Mystery shoves Mean Gene out of the way & storms off.*

MGO: There really is something strange about her. And something fishy. But it wasn’t my fault. Back to you guys for our next match up.

[Toom E. Guci]

*We’re back at ringside. “Gas Power” hits*

Ring Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, with the winner getting Rosa’s services for a month. Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 323 lbs., “Big Daddy” Gasoline!

*Gasoline walks down to the ring, shaking the hands of some fans along the way. He gets into the ring and raises a fist in the air, which gets a huge pop. Then “Sexy Guy” hits*

RA: And his opponent, being accompanied by Rosa, weighing in at 232 lbs., the Heartbreak Hitman Bret Michaels!

*Fans quickly change their cheers to loud boos as HBH walks down to the ring with Rosa by his side, both smiling. HBH gets into the ring and does his usual posing. Meanwhile Rosa is all over him. Gasoline shakes his head as he watches from the corner*

The bell rings to start the match as Rosa exits the ring. HBH and Gas circle the ring. They lock up. HBH traps Gas in a headlock. Gas tries to reverse it into a backdrop, but HBH lands on his feet. HBH gets in an arm wrench. Gas reverses it and gets in an arm wrench of his own. HBH elbows his way out of it. He runs to the ropes, but is taken down with a shoulder block. HBH runs at Gas, but Gas gets him with a Japanese armdrag. Gas picks him up and whips him to the ropes, but HBH stops on the ropes and rolls out of the ring. The crowd boos this. HBH goes to Rosa to strategize. After a while, he goes to get back into the ring, but Gas comes closer to him. HBH motions for the ref to hold Gas back, which he does. Then HBH finally gets back in the ring.

HBH and Gas lock up again. HBH again traps Gas in a headlock. Gas gets to the ropes and whips HBH. HBH tries to take Gas down, but Gas doesn’t budge. HBH runs to the ropes and tries again, but Gas still doesn’t move. HBH runs to the ropes again, but this time is taken down with a knee attack. Gas takes him to the corner and gives him some hard chops. He whips HBH to the ropes and gives him a gorilla press slam. Next he clothesline HBH over the top rope. As HBH gets up, Gas dives at him through the ropes. This gets a loud pop from fans. Gas picks up HBH and rams him into the apron a few times before rolling him back in the ring. Rosa starts walking over to Gas, but Gas shoots a mean stare her way, so she backs off. Gas gets back in the ring, picks up HBH, and performs a delayed vertical suplex. He goes for the first cover of the match.

1...
2...

HBH kicks out. Gas picks him and rams him into the turnbuckle. After a few shoulder thrusts, Gas whips HBH into the opposite corner. HBH avoids Gas’s charge and capitalizes with a neckbreaker. HBH picks up Gas and performs a snap suplex. He runs to the ropes and hits a quick leg drop. Next he tosses Gas back to the outside. HBH gets onto the apron and hits an Asai moonsault. He gets to his feet and whips Gas into the steel steps. He stomps on Gas a few times. Then he picks him up and attempts to bang his head on the outside rail. But Gas counters it and bangs HBH’s head on the outside rail. After a few chops, Gas lifts up HBH and drops him on the rail. Then he runs at him with a clothesline. Gas lifts up HBH, and this time, throws him back into the ring. Gas gets up on the apron and is about the re-enter the ring, but as HBH is distracting the ref, Rosa grabs Gas’s leg. This allows HBH to knock Gas off the apron, sending him through into the announce table. HBH quickly slides out of the ring and lays Gas on it. He climbs the ropes and jumps off, landing an elbow drop on Gas and sending him through the announce table. The fans go nuts for that spot.

Fans: EWT! EWT! EWT!

HBH gets up and rolls Gas back into the ring for a pin.

1...
2...

Gas gets the shoulder up. HBH drags Gas into the corner and stomps a mud hole in him. Next he runs at him with a dropkick. He then drags Gas out into the middle of the ring and does a wishbone leg splitter. The fans boo this very loudly.

HBH: Shut up, you f***ing morons!

But that only makes them boo louder. HBH picks up Gas and gives him a neckbreaker. He then does a standing moonsault and covers him.

1...
2...

Gas kicks out. HBH performs a snapmare followed by a pullover neckbreaker. He then slaps on a dragon sleeper. Chants of “GAS-O-LINE!” start to break out. Gas initially tries to fight it, but is fading. The fans are solidly behind Gas as they’re pulling for him. The ref raises his arm. It falls. The ref raises his arm a second time, but it falls again. The ref raises his arm a third time. It starts to fall, but goes right back up. The crowd cheers. Gas gets up and elbows his way out of the sleeper. He runs to the ropes, but is stopped by a spinning heel kick. HBH then hits Gas with a reverse DDT. He climbs to the second rope and hits a diving elbow. He covers Gas.

1...
2...

Gas kicks out. HBH picks him up and lands some punches. Gas starts landing some back. Eventually Gas unleashes a flurry of punches and kicks. However, HBH puts a stop to that with an eye poke. He then dropkicks Gas’s right knee. He goes to work on that knee by continuously stomping it. Next he smashes it to the mat a few times. After that, he rams it into the ring post and applies a figure four-leg lock. The ref starts the 5 count. HBH breaks it after 4. He drags Gas back into the middle of the ring and again applies the figure four. Gas is writhing in pain, desperately trying to find a way out. Meanwhile Rosa is looking on at ringside, liking what she sees. After a few moments, Gas is able to turn over, so now the pressure is on HBH. HBH crawls over to the side and eventually reaches the ropes. With the hold now broken, HBH gets to his feet and stomps Gas a few times. Then he climbs the ropes. He jumps off looking for a splash, but Gas rolls out of the way, leaving HBH to crash and burn. The ref starts the 10 count.

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9

Both men are now up. HBH hits Gas with a punch. Gas returns the favor. They continue to exchange punches until Gas gets the upper hand. He whips HBH to the ropes and hits a back body drop. He then runs at HBH with a clothesline, and then another. Next he hits him with a flapjack. He follows that up with an inverted atomic drop, and then a sidewalk slam. He picks up HBH and hits a pumphandle slam. He goes for the cover.

1...
2...

HBH kicks out. Gas goes to pick him up, but HBH surprises him with a jawbreaker. HBH then takes advantage with a Russian leg sweep. Next he picks up Gas and hits a tiger suplex pin.

1...
2...

Gas kicks out. HBH runs at him with for a clothesline, but Gas ducks and hits HBH with a spinebuster. Now fired up, Gas starts climbing the ropes. However, HBH gets up and stops him. HBH is now climbing the ropes. But Gas punches away at him and knocks him off. Gas gets to his feet on the top turnbuckle. But then HBH runs up the ropes and hits Gas with an Angle slam off the top rope! The fans can’t believe what they just saw.

Fans: THAT WAS AWE-SOME! *clap clap clapclapclap* THAT WAS AWE-SOME! *clap clap clapclapclap*

HBH crawls over to cover Gas.

1...
2...






GAS KICKS OUT! HBH can’t believe it. The fans can’t believe it. HBH gets up and slaps on the Sharpshooter. Gas starts crawling to the ropes, still in pain. He gets to the ropes after a few moments, forcing HBH to break the hold. HBH gets to his feet and prepares for some Sweet Chin Muzak. He waits for Gas to get up, and goes for it. However, Gas moves out of the way, and HBH hits the ref instead. Gas takes advantage by hitting an STO. He uses the ropes to climb to his feet. He signals for the Jackknife Powerbomb, which gets a huge response from the fans. He sets up HBH. He lifts him up, but then Rosa enters the ring and gives Gas a low blow. HBH capitalizes with some Sweet Chin Muzak on Gas. Seeing that the ref is still down, he motions for Rosa to grab a steel chair and get in the ring. Rosa does just that. HBH then tells her to hit Gas with the chair.

HBH: Bash his brains in!

Rosa waits for Gas to get up. Gas slowly gets to his feet. Gas is now up. Rosa starts to swing the chair...











...AND WHACKS HBH OVER THE HEAD WITH THE CHAIR! The crowd erupts with a sea of very loud cheers. Gas has a smile on his face. Rosa approaches the fallen HBH.

Rosa: I’ve had it! I’m sick of this! I told you I didn’t want to get in the middle of this, but you wouldn’t listen. I didn’t want to do this, but you made me! But now that I have, I’ll say this: WE ARE THROUGH!

Rosa then storms out of the ring and heads up the ramp. Gas sets up HBH again for the Jackknife Powerbomb. This time, he hits it. Gas then picks up the ref and drags him over. He covers HBH.

1...



2...





3! *Bell rings*

RA: Here is your winner, “Big Daddy” Gasoline!

*Gasoline raises his hand in victory as the crowd cheers. He then grabs a mic*

Gas: Well, what do you know? I won the match!

*Crowd cheers*

Gas: And since I won the match, which means I get the services of one Rosa for a month. But you know what? *to Rosa* I said that if I won the match that I would set you free. And Rosa, that’s exactly what I’m gonna do.

*Crowd cheers. Rosa has a smile on her face*

Gas: That’s right. You’re free to do whatever you want. After all that you’ve been through, you deserve it. Now let’s hear it for Rosa!

Fans: ROSA! ROSA! ROSA!

*Rosa now has a huge smile on her face. She gives the thumbs up gesture to Gasoline and walks off. Gas returns the favor. He then gets out of the ring and shakes hands with fans around the ring*

*Cut to next segment*

[Toom E. Guci]

Joey Styles: I’m Joey Styles here with the King and we’ll be calling this hellacious Tables match

King: This isn’t just a tables match Joey, It’s a Cohln Doom Tables Match!

Lillian: this match is a Cohln Doom Tables Match, It will be a 20-minute match and the most falls wins.

(ICP's Halls of Illusion hits and Deamon and Jacola come out. They move down to the ring moving with the music. Jacola walks around the ring checking out the tables as Deamon runs over to a corner as tosses the table down. He climbs on the turnbuckle and salutes the crowd. The audience boos loudly.)

Lillian: Now entering the ring, Deamon and Jacola, The COHLNS!

Joey: Here come the Cohlns!

King: Their brother Sever has been stalking them and trying to get revenge for what happened in EWWF!

Joey: and rightly so! He ended Sever’s EWWF career!

(Halls of Illusion abruptly stops and the crowd cheers! Sever Cohln and Scott Andrews come out of nowhere and attacks. The bell rings and the timer starts.)

Joey: OH MYGOD! They came out of nowhere!

20:00
Deamon and Jacola are being attacked by Sever and Scott they deliver punches and kicks until Jacola breaks off of Scott and slams him into a table on one corner of the ring, but doesn't break it. Jacola runs at him and CLOTHELINES HIM THROUGH A TABLE! It’s early and now it’s 1-0! Sever sees his partner get slammed through and jumps into the ring after getting away from Deamon. He climbs on the apron, jumps off the top rope and hits Jacola with a dropkick. Deamon comes out of nowhere and spears Sever as he and Jacola both make there way up off the ground. Deamon is just attacking Sever with fists to the head and chest. Jacola returns to his feet to see Scott return to his feet. Scott moves over and starts laying forearms on Jacola. He seems unscathed as Jacola pushes him back off. Scott runs back over and attempts a spear but just runs into Jacola causing nothing. Jacola lays a forearm into him and sends him to the mat.

18:25
Jacola begins to stomp on Scott as Sever and Deamon go to work on each other on the outside of the ring. Deamon tosses Sever into the guard wall which puts him in a prone position over the wall. Deamon moves a table up and moves it over to the ring. He sets it up and grabs Sever. He places him on the table as Scott is tossed over the ropes to the entrance ramp. Deamon moves over to the turnbuckle and climbs up it. He positions himself, and launches himself for a elbow drop. SEVER MOVES OFF THE TABLE! Deamon crashes through it and evens the score up 1-1!

17:40
Jacola continue to pound on Scott as he hears the bell ring. He sees Deamon put himself through a table and runs over to the incident as Sever gets up. Before he can realize it Jacola has laid a forearm to the back of Sever’s head. He falls to the floor and Jacola begins to stomp on him. Deamon returns to his feet and directs Jacola to hang Scott up on the wall. Jacola does and slams Sever on the wall almost crushing Sever’s ribs. Deamon moves over to the apron and salutes the crowd who boo him heavily, he holds hi elbow momentarily and jumps off the apron and hit’s a devastating leg drop! Sever flips back over into the ring area. Meanwhile Scott has gotten back up and is setting up a table diagonally on a wall near the beat down of Sever. Jacola and Deamon begin to stomp on Sever again but Scott comes out of nowhere going off of the top rope and into Jacola! This knocks Jacola onto the diagonal table. Deamon is focused on Sever as Scott spears Jacola through the table! Taking the lead! Deamon realizes what has happened and runs to Jacola’s aid. Deamon and Sever trade blows as Scott and Jacola struggle to their feet.

15:78
Deamon and Sever make their way back into the ring. Deamon lays one huge right hand and dizzies Sever. Deamon grabs his arms and Irish Whips him to the ropes. Sever returns and Deamon clotheslines him to the ground. Jacola brings in two tables and he gestures to Deamon for what seems to be a preplanned move. Jacola sets up one table and then sets up another on top of it.

14:34
Jacola lifts Sever up and onto the second stacked table Jacola motions to Deamon to follow him. Jacola climbs the ropes and Deamon follows him. Deamon climbs Jacola’s shoulders and salutes the crowd and Jacola stands. Deamon stands with him and turns around. He motions and moonsaults off of Jacola! He flies and crashes onto Sever! THEY GO THROUGH BOTH TABLES! The ref looks around perplexed and doesn’t know how to call it as Scott come back into the ring and hit’s a flying clothesline knocking Jacola into a table he has set up outside the ring! The ref moves to the timekeeper and he announces that the score is now 3-3.

13:10
Deamon moves up to see almost everyone down in the ring. He moves over to sever and picks him up. He runs to the turnbuckle with his head under his arm. He tries for the DDDDT but Sever counters throwing Deamon out of the ring. Sever backs up only to see Jacola move his way toward him. Sever tries to lay forearms down but Jacola just takes them and looks up at Sever. Jacola then lays fist of his own knocking Sever down. Then Scott returns to the ring and Scott and Sever double team him. It begins to work as Jacola, with the continuous blows begins to dizzy. Jacola then grabs both of their heads and pushes them back, but they come after him again. This time locking hands and clotheslining Jacola to the ground!

11:45
Jacola is now down on the ground and Scott begins to pick him up. Sever goes and helps Scott lift Jacola up for the Devil May Cry! Scott hold him in the power bomb position as Sever bounces of the ropes and lands a flying clothesline knocking Jacola down and Scott hit’s the Devil May Cry! Deamon bounces off the top rope and dropkicks Sever as he gets up after that clothesline. Now the only two-left standing are Deamon and Scott.

10:00
It is announced that there is only ten minutes in the match. And Deamon and Scott are standing looking around the arena, the crowd is going insane for the match they are seeing, the remnants of 3 tables lie in the ring. Deamon and Scott being to circle each other and finally lock up. Deamon turns him around and attempts a suplex but he can’t muster the strength. Scott knocks Deamon back into the clothesline. Scott moves over to the opposite corner and runs at Deamon. He lands a flying knee to Deamon while he is on the corner! Jacola is getting back up now and is moving into the ring.

8:36
Jacola clotheslines Scott to the ground and he looks up to Deamon. Deamon moves up the turnbuckle while still in a bit of pain. He sets up while Jacola knocks Sever back down to the floor. Deamon gets up and hit’s a frog splash as the crowd boos heavily. Sever returns and Jacola goes to knock him back down but Sever has a chair this time and knocks Jacola on his ass! Sever gets back in the ring with the chair and clocks Deamon as he returns to his feet!

6:12
Deamon and Jacola have gotten outside the ring as Scott and Sever are on the ropes yelling at them. Deamon seems to be planning something out. Sever has had enough and runs to the other side of the ring. He bounces off of the ropes and runs back and jumps over the top rope! He hit’s the plancha on Deamon! Scott rolls out of the ring and goes to work on Jacola! The two rebels begin to take control now and Jacola finally breaks free of
Scott. Scott moves on to Deamon as Jacola goes to put a table in the ring.

4:07
Sever sees Jacola setting up a table in the ring but ignores him for now. Scott and Sever continue their beat down on Deamon as Jacola sees his opportunity. He runs across the ring and he is flying! He lands on both Sever and Scott knocking them down building up a pile of bodies!

3:02
Jacola has gotten back up and is in the ring. Scott has picked up a chair and Deamon and Sever are duking it out near the outside corner. Scott goes in and nails Jacola with the chair! Deamon sees this and hit’s a high kick to Sever’s chin! He runs into the ring where Scott is standing over Jacola. Deamon goes for Scott but Sever returns and attacks Deamon.

2:00
Deamon is assaulted by the two rebels and they move him to the corner. Sever moves over to the opposite corner and tells Scott something. Scott whips Deamon off of the corner and across the ring. Sever moves out a bit and clotheslines Deamon as he comes closer. Sever move to the turnbuckle and runs up it and flips hitting a moonsault on Deamon. Sever and Scott celebrate in the middle of the ring as the pick up Deamon. Jacola climbs in the ring and stands there as Deamon is set up in a double suplex!

Joey: No! Is Jacola turning on him!

King: This can’t be!

:45
Scott and Sever lift Deamon up. AND SEVER LETS GO AND LOW BLOWS SCOTT!

Joey: OH MY GOD! IT WAS A SET-UP!


Scott drops Deamon who kicks him in the gut and grabs his head and puts it under his shoulder! He runs up the turnbuckle and hit’s the DDDDT through the table! The score is 4-3 with :10 left

:08
Deamon, Jacola and Sever stand over Scott’s crippled body and count down. The hold out a finger for every second.

:03
:02
:01
The bell rings!

Lillian: Ladies and Gentlemen your winners, The Cohln Brothers!

(Sever grabs the mic and begins to speak.)

Sever: Oh dear Scott, do you really think we were a team. I loved my brother even though he screwed me over in EWWF. That was the past! This is now, The Cohlns will take over the EWT, me and my brother Jacola, we will take the Tag Team Titles, and Deamon will take over the Singles division. We will be the new era of wrestling!
(The Symphony of Destruction(Remix hit’s the arena. Out comes EN Bunk with Jason Maverick.)

Joey: OH MY GOD! What are Bunk and Maverick doing out here!

King: They are running towards the ring! They’re attacking the Cohlns!

(The Cohlns run from the ring and back down the entrance ramp. Bunk and Maverick attend to Scott, as the Cohln look on with a look of glee. They exit the arena and the camera fades on Bunk yelling at the Family.)

[Toom E. Guci]

*The bell sounds, and Tony Chimel makes his way to the center of the ring. He holds up the microphone as the crowd cheer in anticipation.*

Chimel: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a SUICIDE SHOWDOWN MATCH!!! The rules for this engagement are as follows…the two teams of The Connection and The Ragnals will enter the arena, and go to their respective corners. The teams will then choose a representative as their legal man, and the match will start. If one team member is pinned for a three-count, OR submits, then he or she will be eliminated, and the team he or she represents will choose another representative until every team member on one team has been eliminated!! Now, ladies and gentlemen, it’s time to introduce the teams! Introducing first…

*”Ich Will” hits, and the crowd shower the arena with boos. The lights go out, and the Pentagram/Ankh Icon flashes on the Toomi-Tron. Craig Kendo, clad in a trench coat and sunglasses, makes his way out. He impassively observes the crowd, sneering at them with pity, before dropping to his knees and holding his arms out in prayer. Flame pyro shoots out beside him, and he nods his head down. The rest of The Connection make their way out, and they also hold their arms out in prayer. Tony Chang, Holly Vaughn and Chrysta Ragnal then follow Kendo to the ring, as Miss White accompanies them.*

Chimel: From Newark, New Jersey, Seoul, Korea, Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada and Juno Alaska respectively…being accompanied to the ring by Miss White…they are the team of Craig Kendo, Tony “The Viper” Chang, “Lady Spectacular” Holly Vaughn, and “The Ice Queen”, Chrysta RAGNAL…THE CONNECTION!!!

*The crowd chants “SHE’S NO RAGNAL” at Chrysta, but she pays absolutely no attention. The Connection each enter the ring, and hold their arms out in prayer as they kneel at five points in the ring…a giant Pentagram/Ankh Icon ignites above the ring!! The Connection finish bowing as the lights finally come up.*


*The fans turn to the ToomiTron, waiting for High Voltage to start playing. Instead, they hear Remember the Name by Fort Minor, and realize it's a new theme for the Ragnals. Mike and Joe walk out to a massive pop, carrying the EWT Tag Team championships on their shoulders. Linda Ragnal and Tanya Flaire follow close behind.*

Chimel: And the opponents...The EWT Tag Team Champions, Mike and Joe Ragnal, their sister Linda, and Tanya Flaire...Team RAGNAL!

*As the foursome gets into the ring, Mike and Tanya face one another, raising their arms high. As they both drop their arms down, lightning hits the corner posts, which ignite some Kane-like pyros.*

JR: Ladies and gentlemen, the greatest battle of all time is about to start!

[Toom E. Guci]

*The bell sounds as both the Ragnals and the Connection consult with each other. The Connection choose Holly Vaughn as they’re representative as the Ragnals pick Tanya Flaire. The Ragnals each wish Tanya luck. The Connection merely send Holly out with a glare. Holly and Tanya circle each other, before going into a lock-up…Holly comes out on top with an arm-wrench…Tanya counters this with headspring, and a trip to Holly! Tanya tries a head-scissors, but Holly performs a nip-up. Both women are to their feet, and they both try dropkicks aimed at each other, colliding in an awkward mess. Both women land on their knees, and quickly stare up at each other, with Tanya raising her hands in a fighting pose, and Holly simply staring up at Tanya. The crowd produce a small cheer and a “GND!” chant*

*Both women get to their feet, and circle each other again. Holly swiftly rushes in for a Japanese arm-drag…Tanya lands on her feet, and runs the ropes! Holly turns to face Tanya, and evades her with a leapfrog before laying flat! Tanya rushes back at Holly, who places her feet up for a monkey flip…Tanya abruptly stops running, and grabs the ankles of Holly, rolling her to her front and lifting her up, planting her with a sit-down face crusher!*

*Holly’s head bounces off the canvas as Tanya swiftly leaps over for a front face lock! Holly fights out of it, and rises up to her feet, throwing Tanya to the ropes….Tanya rushes back at Holly with a shoulder block! Tanya then runs the ropes, rushing back at Holly with a running dropkick to Holly as Holly is rising to her hands and knees! The force propels Holly over to the ropes! Tanya appeals to the crowd, getting a good pop! Tanya then approaches Holly…Holly reaches out with a poke to the eyes, prompting a negative crowd reaction! Holly then hoists herself up to her feet with the aid of the ropes as Tanya tries to recover from the shot to the eyes…Holly then suddenly rushes Tanya with a bulldog before turning her over and going for the cover.*

1!2!

*And Tanya is able to kick out! Holly coldly stomps down onto Tanya before standing on Tanya’s hair and grabbing Tanya’s wrists...lifting her from that position and essentially tearing at Tanya’s hair! Tanya kicks her legs in pain as Holly continues the assault…Tanya suddenly brings her leg high, kicking Holly in the head!! Holly falls back as Tanya performs the nip-up! Holly tries to recover by aid of the ropes, and Tanya capitalizes by charging straight at Holly! Holly does an over-the-shoulder body press…Tanya lands on the apron! Tanya grabs Holly by the hair and pulls her down before calling for the Napalm Drop to a huge pop!! Tanya is about to springboard…Tony Chang rushes her with a kick, sending Tanya down to the mat below! The crowd boo him as he protests that Tanya was in the Connection’s corner, and therefore he had every right. Miss White sees to the downed Tanya by picking her up by the head, and throwing her to the guardrail. The referee, however, is not pleased about this, and loudly berates Miss White! Miss White backs off, but not before signaling to Holly, who sees Tanya propped up against the guardrail, and gets the message. Holly runs the ropes, ready for a plancha…JOE RAGNAL PULLS DOWN THE TOP ROPE, SENDING HOLLY TO THE OUTSIDE!! The crowd pop wildly as Joe, all smiles, shrugs and mouths “our corner” to an infuriated Tony Chang! Linda goes to the outside, and rolls a stunned Holly Vaughn back into the ring before all Ragnals motion to a recovering Tanya. Tanya moves away from the guardrail…TONY CHANG HITS HER FROM THE APRON WITH AN AXHANDLE SMASH!!!*

*The crowd boo Tony Chang as he stomps away at Tanya. Eventually, he rolls her into the ring, and climbs to the apron. By this point, Holly has managed to get to her knees, and is trying to get her breath back. She eventually approaches Tanya, and mockingly observes her as Tanya clings to Holly’s ring attire, trying to get to her feet. Holly looks to Chrysta, who slowly gives a throat-cut gesture. Holly then picks Tanya up before putting her in the Final Connection position…Tanya struggles against it…Tanya manages to kick at Holly from the position until Holly drops her to her feet! Holly doubles up…Tanya hits a swinging neckbreaker!! With Holly down, Tanya drops to her knees, hoping to get her breath back…Tanya then quickly rushes to the apron, and leaps off with the NAPALM DROP!!! NAPALM DROP CONNECTS!!! Tanya goes for the pin!*

1!2!3!!!

HOLLY VAUGHN HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!!!


*As Holly is being taken into the back, Chrysta gets into the ring as stares down at Tanya. Tanya stands up and stares back. After a few seconds, Tanya rushes at Chrysta with a clothesline, but Chrysta ducks under it and hits a back suplex on Tanya. Chrysta drops a few elbows onto Tanya, then lifts her up into a suplex and down for a piledriver. Chrysta goes to pin.*

1!2!

*Kick out by Tanya. Chrysta picks Tanya up and whips her into her team's corner, then tags Chang in. Chang kicks at Tanya's gut a few times, until she falls to the floor. Chang then proceeds to press his foot against Tanya's throat against the middle turnbuckle, and lets go as the ref counts to four. Chang then lifts Tanya up and whips her into the ropes, hitting her with a backdrop. Chang proceeds to bounce off the ropes, and hit Tanya with a legdrop. Chang goes to pin.*

1!2!

*Tanya kicks out. Chang kicks Tanya in the side stomach, and mocks her to get up. Chang then lifts Tanya up again and whips her into a corner. Chang rushes at Tanya, but she kicks him in the face. Chang stumbles backwards as Tanya gets to the top rope. As Chang turns around, Tanya leaps off for a cross body, but Chang grabs her just before she hits, stands his ground, and hits a swinging sidewalk slam. Chang sits up and taunts the Ragnals to tag Tanya out. Joe does not look pleased at any of this. Chang can see the anger in Joe and smiles at it. He then goes to the top rope and hits a super legdrop onto Tanya and goes for another pin.*

1!2!

*NO! Tanya kicks out. Chang is starting to look pissed at this, while the Ragnals are rooting Tanya on, hoping for her to tag soon. Chang lets Tanya crawl over to her corner, but as she gets within inches of it, Chang grabs her from behind and hits a German Suplex. Chang gets behind Tanya, waiting for her to get up...and looking to hit the Viperbite! Joe sees this and steps into the ring and clobbers Chang with a right hook, then a left, and tackles him into a corner. The ref pulls Joe back and gives him a warning. Joe curses out and heads back over to his corner, Chang slowly getting himself out of his corner. Tanya is up on her legs, her back still to Chang, and he sees this as the perfect opportunity to take her out. Chang looks to pick Tanya up for a back suplex, but the leverage gives Tanya the help she needs to turn it into a Burning Wheel Drop! Tanya and Chang are lying out on the floor. Chang, not about to give up, starts to stand up, while Tanya crawls over to her corner...and just barely tags Joe in! Chang charges at Joe, and Joe nails an armdrag to Chang. Chang gets up and charges again. Joe hits him with another arm drag. Chang gets back up and sees Joe charge him, nailing him with a flying shoulder tackle. Joe runs to the ropes and nails a springboard moonsault into a leg drop onto Chang's chest. Joe goes to cover.*

1!2!

*Chang kicks out. Joe lifts Chang up and whips him into the ropes. Joe looks to hit a backdrop, but Chang stops before him and kicks him in the face. Joe doubles back into the ropes, bounces off, and Chang hits a tilt-a-whirl backdrop to Joe. Chang runs to the ropes and jumps off the middle one looking to hit a Lionsault, but Joe rolls out of the way, and Chang lands on his feet. Chang charges after Joe, but Joe trips him with a step-over toe-hold onto the middle rope, and Joe bounces off the opposite ropes, and hits a Tiger Feint Kick to Chang's face. Chang falls to the ground, and Joe climbs the turnbuckles and nails a Cloudbreaker onto Chang. Joe bounces off and grabs his stomach in pain, then covers Chang for the pin.*

1!2!3!

TONY CHANG IS ELIMINATED!

*Tony Chang rolls out of the ring as Joe celebrates…this is cut short when Craig Kendo rushes him with a club to the back of the neck!! Joe falls to his knees as Kendo stomps him in the back. Joe relents, however, and ties to get back to his feet! Joe hits Kendo with some shots to the gut, but Kendo immediately stops this with a knee to Joe’s ribs! With Joe stunned, Kendo hits an Irish Whip that sends Joe to the corner. Kendo runs at Joe with a shoulder tackle…Joe hops upward, sending Kendo crashing into the ring post! Joe then falls down onto Kendo with a sunset flip!!!*

1!2!

*And Kendo rolls out of it, rushing Joe with a Rave kick to the chest! Kendo sighs, hands on hips, and picks up Joe by the head, grabbing him by the throat, and performing a throat toss, sending Joe across the ring. Kendo then charges at Joe with a knee to the face before taunting the Ragnals at the other end of the corner! Kendo then performs an Irish whip to Joe before rushing at him with an Avalanche!! Joe reels in pain as Kendo…tags in Chrysta? Chrysta enters the ring coldly, before furiously unloading with punches onto Joe! Chrysta then climbs the turnbuckle, and hits a monkey flip to Joe!! Joe flies across the ring, and then gets to his feet! He stares down at Chrysta, who stares right back at him. Joe then rises to his feet, and dusts himself off. He then prepares to rush Chrysta…but Tanya tags in before that can happen!!! Tanya gets into the ring, and Chrysta and Tanya stare each other down! Tanya and Chrysta then go into a lock-up…Chrysta grabs the wrist of Tanya, and kicks her once in the gut before stepping over Tanya’s doubled-over body…and hitting a hurricanarama! Tanya hits the mat, and gets up to her feet, before walking straight into a dropkick! Chrysta then hits an elbow to Tanya, and applies an armbar…Tanya rolls forward, and rises to her feet…then elbows Chrysta in the gut until Chrysta loosens her arm wrench! Tanya then runs…Chrysta grabs at Tanya’s hair, sending her falling to the mat!!*

*Chrysta stomps down on Tanya’s hair, and then grabs her head, picking her up…Tanya fights back with furious rights and lefts! Tanya then rushes Chrysta into the turnbuckle!!! Chrysta appears as if she let her guard down as Tanya hits an elbow to Chrysta’s head! Tanya then lifts up Chrysta to the top of the turnbuckle, and climbs up…Chrysta shoves Tanya down off the turnbuckle…and leaps down onto her with the FALLING ICICLE!!! Chrysta goes for the cover!!

1!2!3!

TANYA FLAIRE HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!

*Joe runs into the ring next and pummels into Chrysta into her corner, and Craig Kendo tags her from behind, and the ref makes notice. Kendo’s now the legal man, but Joe is too busy knocking into Chrysta to realize this. Kendo enters the ring and takes Joe from the back of his neck, and slams him face down into the ground. Kendo picks Joe up and tosses him into the ropes, then gives Joe a boot to the face! Kendo goes to pin.*

1!2!

*Joe kicks out. Kendo lifts him up again, and whips him into the corner. Kendo rushes at Joe, only to get hit by a kick from Joe. Kendo staggers back, and Joe climbs to the top rope and lands a jumps off, hitting a hurricanarama to Kendo. Joe runs off the ropes and hits a leg drop to Kendo. Joe goes to pin Kendo.*

1!2!

*Kendo kicks out. Joe climbs to the top rope and looks for a high-risk move, but Chrysta leaves her corner temporarily and shoves Joe off the turnbuckles. Joe is on the canvas as Kendo gets up, and stares mercilessly at the fallen Joe. Kendo lifts Joe up and hits a belly-to-belly suplex. Kendo runs to the ropes, and hits a massive leg drop to Joe’s chest. Kendo goes to pin.*

1!2!

*Joe kicks out. Kendo lifts Joe up again and hits him with cross chop after cross chop to the chest. Kendo whips Joe into the ropes looking to hit another boot to the face, but Joe ducks under and as Chang turns around, Joe hits him in the stomach and connects a Twist of Fate to Kendo. Joe handsprings up and heads to the top rope and lands the Cloudbreaker to Kendo, then stays on to pin.*

1!2!

*Kendo kicks out. Joe gets Kendo up off the floor, places him in a headlock, and bounces off the ropes looking for a Windfall…but Kendo regains himself in time and hits a back suplex onto Joe! Kendo stands up and looks down again at Joe, and hits the Enlightenment to Joe. Kendo gets on top of Joe and goes for the pin.*

1!2!3!

JOE RAGNAL IS ELIMINATED!

*After Joe Ragnal has been escorted to the back, Mike Ragnal stares down at Craig Kendo, before entering the ring. Mike and Kendo circle each other, before Kendo charges at Mike with a clothesline…Mike rolls under the clothesline, and waits for Kendo to turn before leaping up at him with a dropkick!!! Kendo falls to the floor as Mike unloads on Kendo with a flurry of punches!! Kendo, however, shoves Mike away before trying to get to his feet…Mike runs at Kendo with a SHINING WI…Kendo catches Mike, and throws him down with a release powerbomb!! Kendo then goes for the pin!*

1!2!

*Mike kicks out!! Kendo is in a state of disbelief, but doesn’t calm himself down, instead unloading onto Mike with stomps. Kendo then picks up Mike by the head, and performs an Irish Whip, sending him to the ropes…Kendo then catches Mike on the rebound with a belly-to-belly suplex! Mike holds his back in pain, before climbing to his feet as Kendo looks on. Kendo intercepts Mike as he gets to his feet, tearing him off the ropes, and lifting him to his feet with a torture rack!! Mike is stuck in the torture rack as Kendo yells out “SUBMIT, HEATHEN!!”…LINDA RAGNAL WITH A MISSILE DROPKICK TO KENDO!!! Kendo falls to the mat with Mike falling on top of him! Linda then returns to her corner, and holds her arm out, ready to be tagged in! Mike crawls to the corner as Kendo does the same to his! Kendo makes the tag…and Mike does the same to tag in Linda!!!! Linda wastes no time in going straight for Chrysta!! Linda rushes Chrysta, and leaps over at her with a Thesz Press! Linda hits at Chrysta with several hard punches to the face! Chrysta hits an Eye Rake, stunning Linda long enough for Chrysta to take down Linda with a head scissors…Linda performs the nip-up as Chrysta gets to her feet! Linda then hits a dropkick to Chrysta, before yelling “COME ON!”, completely pumped! Linda then drags Chrysta to the corner, and appeals to the crowd, calling for the Downpour!! Linda jumps to the top…CRAIG KENDO SHOVES LINDA OFF!!*

*Craig Kendo has shoved Linda to the mat!! Linda lands on her neck, and is stung by the pain! She lifts herself up by use of the ropes…Chrysta catches her with the FROSTBITE!!! FROSTBITE LOCKED IN!!! The crowd boo Chrysta mercilessly as she locks the Frostbite in! Linda tries to make her way to the ropes, but Chrysta pulls her sister back to the center! Chrysta looks like she’s going to make Linda tap…Linda runs to the corner, and runs up the turnbuckle, leaping over Chrysta’s head!!! Linda then hooks Chrysta’s arms, and brings her down with a rolling prawn hold!!*

1!2!

*Chrysta kicks Linda off! Linda hits the ropes, and runs back at Chrysta…hitting her with a cross body…Chrysta uses the momentum to fall backwards and right back onto Linda with a pin!*

1!2!

*And Linda kicks out! Chrysta, however, doesn’t stop her assault, and she grabs Linda’s ankle, twisting it round in a standing heel hold…Linda kicks at Chrysta’s leg, making Chrysta fall to one knee, dropping Linda’s limb! Linda then recovers as soon as Chrysta straightens herself up, and the two women take each other down with a double clothesline!*

*Linda and Chrysta are breathless as they each try to recover! Chrysta and Linda crawl to the ropes to lift themselves up! They then stares at each other from across the ring! Chrysta suddenly runs at Linda…Linda hits an elbow to Chrysta’s gut! Linda then runs the ropes…Kendo hits a knee to Linda’s back, and holds her back by the arms! Chrysta tries to capitalize by running at Linda…Linda ducks this, and Chrysta inadvertently knocks Kendo off the apron!! This momentarily confuses Chrysta…long enough to turn to Linda and be hit with a release Northern Lights suplex!!! Linda, summoning all of her strength, then quickly runs up the ropes to the turnbuckle…leaping off with a DOWNPOUR!!! Kendo tries to rush in as the ref counts!!*

1!2!3!!!

CHRYSTA RAGNAL HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!!

*It’s down to Kendo versus Linda and Mike…Kendo suddenly storms the ring, and stomps at Linda before the victory over her sister can truly sink in! The referee tries to restrain Kendo as Kendo screams at the ref that he’s not doing anything illegal, and is “playing by THEIR rules”! Kendo lifts up Linda by the hair, and performs an Irish Whip to her, sending her to the ropes…before running at her with a Yakuza kick! Linda rolls to her front, and reaches out to her brother, Mike, but Kendo won’t allow it, instead picking up Linda by the hair, and dropping her down with a scoop slam before locking in a Buffalo sleeper, all the while taunting Mike! Mike has had enough, and he tries to enter the ring…the referee holds him back as the crowd boo the ref! Mike points out what’s happening, but the ref points out that Linda and Kendo are the legal participants! Mike is sent back to his corner, and all he can do is shout out encouragement to his sister! Meanwhile, Kendo is applying pressure to Linda, and Linda appears to be losing consciousness! The referee lifts up her arm…it drops once. The referee then lifts her arm up again…the arm drops again. The ref lifts up the arm a final time…Kendo suddenly throws Linda down to the mat, releasing the hold!! The crowd boo Kendo as he declares “YOUR PUNISHMENT IS FAR FROM OVER!” to Linda!! Kendo kicks at the downed Linda, screaming at her to get up! Linda drags herself over to the corner, and tries to lift herself up! Kendo, however lifts her to the top rope…Linda fights back at Kendo!! Linda eventually kicks Kendo off the turnbuckle!! Kendo lands on his feet, and tries to get back, but Linda leaps off onto Kendo with a hurricanarama!!! Kendo is sent flying to the mat as Linda tries to crawl over to the Ragnal’s corner to tag in Mike!! The crowd chant for Linda as Linda crawls over to an awaiting Mike! Mike holds out his arm, the two are almost there, with Kendo on the other side of the ring…IT’S TONY CHANG!!! TONY CHANG PULLS MIKE OFF THE APRON AND NAILS HIM WITH A CALF KICK!!! The referee goes over to the ropes and berates Chang, yelling at him to get back to his locker room…Chang simply shrugs and walks back, pleased that he’s done what he had to. Kendo, using the opportunity, gets to his feet, and drags Linda back to the ring. Kendo then lifts Linda up…and drops her with the ENLIGHTENMENT as the crowd boo him, some throwing garbage in the ring! The referee turns his attention to Kendo, pinning Linda as he turns to make the count, with Mike climbing to the ring, desperate to stop it.*

1!2!3!

LINDA RAGNAL HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!

JR: It all comes down to this, ladies and gentlemen! Mike Ragnal and Craig Kendo, the final members of each team, fighting for their family, the gold, and to end this long feud once and for all!

*Mike is still getting back up off the outside floor, using the apron for leverage. He watches Linda get carried out to the back by trainers and refs. Mike grows angry as he rolls himself back inside the ring, Kendo glaring down with an evil smile. Mike is only on one knee as Kendo rushes at him and knees him in the face. Mike is knocked back down to the canvas from this attack. Kendo kneels down next to Mike and hits him in the face with a few fists. The ref tells Kendo to get off of Mike, and pushes him to the opposite end of the ring. As Mike slowly stands up, we can see blood trickle down his face. Kendo shoves the ref out of the way and kicks Mike in the gut, then nails a vertical suplex to him. Kendo goes to pin.*

1!2!

*Mike kicks out. Kendo picks Mike up and whips him into the ropes. Kendo bends down and hits a backdrop as Mike returns to him. Kendo proceeds to bounce off the ropes and hits Mike with a falling elbow drop. Kendo gets back up and places his foot to Mike's throat while using the ropes for leverage. Kendo releases as the ref counts to four. Kendo is smiling evilly, as he stands behind Mike, waiting for him to get up. As Mike finally stands up, Kendo hits a Full Nielson Suplex to him. Kendo goes for another pin.*

1!2!

*Another kick out by Mike. Kendo picks Mike up again, kneeing him in the gut along the way, and whips him into a corner, following up with a Stinger Splash. Mike stumbles out of the corner and gets hit with a back suplex. Kendo mocks Mike for a while and kicks him in the gut while he's down. Kendo picks Mike up and hits a dragon suplex. Kendo goes to pin again.*

1!2!

*Another kick out by Mike. Kendo picks Mike up again and whips him into the ropes, bending over once more for a backdrop. Mike rolls over Kendo's back, and as Kendo realizes Mike's just gotten past him, Mike hits an ENZIGURI! ENZIGURI TO THE BACK OF KENDO'S HEAD! Both Kendo and Mike are now down on the ground, both of them trying their best to stand back up. The ref begins to count.*

1!

2!

3!

4!

5!

6!

7!

8!

*By this time, both men are back onto their feet, slightly dazed after the last attack. As the two come within contact of each other, they begin to trade punches to the head. A little while into this, Mike begins to punch Kendo in the face repeatedly, then as Kendo becomes more dazed, Mike runs to the ropes, and hits a flying forearm to Kendo, knocking him down. Mike handsprings back up, and the crowd cheers him on. Kendo gets back up, and Mike hits him with a running dropkick. Kendo gets up again. Mike hits with a flying lariat and knocks him back down. Kendo gets up again and charges Mike, who hits him with an armdrag. Kendo gets up and charges again, only to get hit with another armdrag. Kendo charges at Mike again, and this time, Mike hits a snap spinebuster to Kendo, Mike goes for a pin.*

1!2!

*Kendo kicks out. Mike takes his shirt off and tosses it into the audience. He then raises his finger up in the air, and slowly points it downward. Looks like he’s about to signal for the High Voltage. As he gets to the top ropes, who should push him off but…Tony Chang! CHANG AND THE CONNECTION CAME BACK! Chrysta enters the ring and kicks Mike from behind. Unfortunately, there’s nothing the ref can do since they’re already eliminated. The ref tries to force them out of the ring, but Chang tosses him to the outside of the ring. Mike gets up and sees the Connection members surrounding him, ready to completely annihilate him. With Kendo standing behind, he hits a German suplex on the unsuspecting Mike. Chrysta is next up as she hits the Falling Icicle on Mike. Chrysta moves quickly as Holly follows that up with a Lionsault. Chang stands to the side of Mike, waiting for him to at least get on his knee, preparing to attack with the Viperbite, when suddenly…THE RAGNALS STORM THE RING! Joe, Linda, and Tanya slide into the ring and start beating the pulp out of the Connection. After the beatings, Joe punches between Kendo and Chang until Joe lands a dropkick to Kendo, sending him out of the ring, and then nails the Windfall onto Chang. Linda hits Chrysta with a high knee to the face and then hits her with a Stratusfaction! Tanya hits Holly square in the face with a spinning heel kick, then jumps off the ropes for the Napalm Death. Each member of Team Ragnal rolls their adversary out of the ring, and help Mike up. Mike sees Kendo lying outside the ring, then goes out and grabs him by the head, tossing him back into the ring. Mike rolls back in after him, then picks Kendo up and whips him into a corner. Mike signals for Tanya, and she hits Kendo with a Stinger Splash. Linda follows it up with a hurricanarama, sending Kendo into the hands of Mike. With Kendo set up for a powerbomb, Joe runs to the ropes and hits a Springboard Enziguri to the back of Kendo’s head. And finally, to finish off the ultra-move known as Elemental Disaster, Mike sends Kendo down to the ground for a sit-down powerbomb. Joe helps the ref back into the ring, as Mike is ready to pin. Chrysta quickly gets into the ring, but Linda sees her coming and nails her in the gut with a kick, then lands a DDT on her. Chrysta rolls out of the ring in pain as the ref makes the final count.

1!...

2!...





3!

*And that was it. Mike gets up off the ground and slowly stands up, as the others try to help him. A ring enforcer hands the tag belts to Tanya, who in turn hands them to Mike and Joe.

Chimel: Here are your winners…Mike, Joe, Linda Ragnal, and Tanya FLAIRE!

The four hug in the ring’s center, as Mike and Joe hold up their tag belts. While the celebration is going on, we see the camera focusing on Chrysta, stumbling backwards up the ramp…in shock. For the first time ever, Chrysta has shown a negative emotion. She can’t believe that she’ll never be accepted into the Ragnal family ever again, and heads into the back, disappointed. The other Connection members are still down on the floor, hurting in pain. The Ragnals stand on a corner post, each taking a bow for their recent victory.*

[Toom E. Guci]

* The ToomiTron now shows the entrance to Toon Town towards the back of Disney Land. Standing right at the entrance under the train tracks is Paraslice by the rest of his crew. As we watch the ToomiTron, we hear the ring announcer: *

Announcer: This next contest is the Toon Town Massacre for the EWT Tool Shed Championship. Victory will only count via pinfall or submission within the confines of Toon Town. Now introducing the participants ready for action in Toon Town…here is Paraslice. And the opponent is the EWT Tool Shed Champion…Paul Podanski.

* The crowd sits in silence, as the home viewers are the only ones who know what happened to Paul earlier in the day. Paul is nowhere in sight. *

And the opponent…the EWT Tool Shed Champion, Paul Podanski.

* Again, all sit in silence, as Podanski hasn’t shown. Paraslice starts yelling at the referee: *

Paraslice: Ring the bell!! Ring the bell!!! He’s to scared to show up!!! Award me my championship!!!

* The referee calls for the bell & starts to issue a count. 1-2-3-4…in the distance, the Disney Land Express can be heard coming in. As the referee draws to 10, the train pulls into the station above them. Just then, Paul comes leaping off the train bridge & smashes Paraslice in the head with a kendo stick. Paul then swings the stick, taking out Senor Splash. Dick Slater comes running at him & Paul grabs him & runs him into the small tunnel’s wall. Paul points at both Salami Swami & Ol’ King Cold Cuts back off. Paul grabs Paraslice & throws him into the tunnel wall. Paul grabs ‘slice & sets him up for an Appauler. Paul crashes ‘slice down on the concrete. Paul then lifts up ‘slice & drags through Toon Town towards Town Square. Paul bodyslams ‘slice on the bench at the trolley station. Paul goes for a cover but ‘slice kicks out. Paul lifts up ‘slice but ‘slice nails a knee in the midsection. ‘slice rams Paul’s head into a STOP sign. ‘slice scoops up Paul & bodyslams him on the concrete. ‘slice drags Paul up & Irish Whips him into the building housing Roger Rabbit’s Car Toon Spin. ‘slice drags Paul around to the entrance of the ride. Paul manages a reversal & Irish Whips ‘slice into the ride entrance & tosses him over the line barricades. ‘slice bashes his head on the barricade. Paul flips him into the ride area & climbs on top of the barricade. Paul balances himself & jumps off the barricade, crashing down on ‘slice with an Apaulachian Avalanche. Paul goes for a cover but ‘slice kicks out. Paul lifts ‘slice up as ‘slice hits a thumb to the eye. ‘slice then grabs Paul & hip tosses him into Benny the Cab on the Roger Rabbit’s Car Toon Spin. ‘slice goes around & turns the ride on, as it drives off with Paul laying in it. ‘slice finds a door & goes deeper in the ride, where he comes out another door in a dark area. ‘slice finds one of the animatronics of the weasels & uses his strength to rip the weasel off. Just then the cab with Paul comes through some doors as ‘slice leaps at an unexpecting Paul with the weasel & beats him with it. ‘slice yanks Paul off the ride in the dark room & slams him into the wall. ‘slice goes for a cover but there was no referee in sight. ‘slice tosses Paul on the next cab coming by & he hops on the cab behind him. As they get to the end of the ride, ‘slice grabs Paul & drags him off the road throwing him out the door.*

* As both men exited the ride, ‘slice spies a glass window at the Gag Factory. ‘slice starts running with Paul but Paul manages to brace himself, elbow ‘slice in the midsection, then throws him through the Gag Factory window. Paul climbs through the window & picks up a pair of 50th Anniversary Mickey Mouse ears & places it on ‘slice’s head.*

Paul: Souvenir of the beating I am giving you. Have your little friends kidnap me & tempt me…BIG MISTAKE. Since my ass hasn’t touched a drop of alcohol all f***ing since this whole ordeal has started.

* Paul grabs ‘slice & scoops him into a bodyslam, throwing a fall away slam that sends ‘slice crashing through a t-shirt table. Paul goes for a cover, but ‘slice barely gets his arm up. Frustrated, Paul gets to his feet & grabs ‘slice. Paul bodyslams him through the what was once a window onto the sidewalk. Paul steps out of the Gag Factory & grabs ‘slice. ‘slice kicks up & nails a kick to the groin area of Paul, ‘slice gets to his feet & spies a picnic table over in the Daisy’s Diner area. ‘slice drags Paul over & body slams him onto a picnic table. ‘slice climbs on the picnic table & picks up Paul, setting him up with a Pastrami on High. Paul comes crashing down on the picnic table, as the metal bends underneath the 2 men. ‘slice attempts a cover but a very weak Paul kicks out. ‘slice starts looking around for a weapon to use & sees the gas tank at Pluto’s Dog House. ‘slice picks up Paul & Irish Whips him into the gas tank. ‘slice grabs Paul & smashes his head into the fish tank on top of the gas tank. ‘slice does it a second time. A third time smashes a hole in the glass, sending water all over & busting Paul’s head open. ‘slice releases Paul as Paul now staggers. ‘slice walks a bit in his stagger as ‘slice nails a Cold Cutter on him. ‘slice attempts a cover & as the referee is about to come down on 3, Paul weakly gets his shoulder up. ‘slice gets up, frustrated some more. ‘slice looks down on a weak Paul & kicks several times. ‘slice picks up Paul but Paul manages a low blow as he’s on his knees. Paul gets to his feet & grabs ‘slice, hitting him with a Spine Buster on the hood of a photo-op car at Pluto’s Dog House. Paul grabs ‘slice & picks him up in a military press & drops him down on the other fish tank gas tank, smashing that one. ‘slice is now busted open, as well. As ‘slice staggers to his feet, Paul connects with a Yakuza Kick. Paul goes for a cover, but ‘slice manages a weak, injured, bloody shoulder up. Paul gets to his feet & is attacked from behind by Senor Splash. Senor Splash lands a German Suplex. Splash holds up Paul as Dick Slater runs at him with a lariat clothesline. Paul does a complete 360 flip from it. Both Slater & Splash start giving the boots to Paul. Splash picks up Paul & drags him over to Donald Duck’s Boat House. Splash throws Paul into the water surrounding the boat. Slater jumps in the water, grabbing Paul’s bloody head & smashing it into the side of the boat.*

* ‘slice finally joins the 2 men as he comes into the water. Slater starts holding Paul down as ‘slice puts his hands around Paul’s throat underwater. After a minute underwater, Paul goes unconscious. Splash drags Paul out of the water as Slater whispers something to ‘slice. ‘slice shakes his head in approval & grabs Paul. ‘slice decides to smack an unconscious Paul around, who slowly comes to.*

‘slice: You’re going to love this finish Paul.

* ‘slice grabs Paul & sets him up & nails a Paulerbomb on him, then goes for the cover as the referee counts 1-2-3. Paraslice’s hand is raised in victory as the rest of the PsychaDeli celebrates the victory with him. Paraslice is handed the EWT Tool Shed Championship as the others look down on an unconscious Paul Podanski lays there, a bloody mess. EMT’s rush in to check on him as we cut to a video package highlighting the Limey-Moxie odyssey. *

[Toom E. Guci]

*The gigantic steel Cell lowers itself ominously down to the ring. The crowd “Ooh” in anticipation. Howard Finkel, standing in the center of the ring as the Cell lowers, gets on the microphone. *

Fink: Ladies and Gentlemen, it is now time…for the HELL…IN A CELL…MATCH!!! And it is for the EWT…WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!!!! Introducing first…THE CHALLENGER!!!

“HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAA!!!!!!”

*Ted DiBiase’s maniacal laughter plays over the PA as it fades out into Ill Nino’s “La Liberation of our Awakening”. Money Inc makes their way out, at either side of Moxie. Moxie displays his Million Dollar belt with pride. *

Fink: Being accompanied to the ring by “The Million Dollar Man”, Ted DiBiase and IRS as part of Money Inc… From Minneapolis, Minnesota…he is EWT’s current MILLION DOLLAR CHAMPION! Weighing in at 212 pounds, and the master of the Oracle, ladies and gentlemen, THIS IS MOXIE!!!!!!!!!

*Moxie makes his way to the door of the Cell. He makes his way through it as Money Inc. psyche him up for the battle. Moxie then enters the ring, and climbs to the second rope, displaying his Million Dollar Championship with pride. He then hands the Championship to the Fink, and leans back against the ropes, awaiting Limey’s presence. *

Fink: Aaaand his opponent…

*”RIP” hits, and Limey makes his way to the stage! He is displaying his EWT World Heavyweight title, and he places it on his shoulder before throwing up the horns! He then makes his way to the ring, not taking his eyes off Moxie as he goes. *

Fink: From Liverpool, England, weighing in at “15 Stone”, he is the current, reigning and DEFENDING EWT World Heavyweight Champion…LIMEY!!

*Limey makes his way to the Cell, and stares up at it. He appears to be in deep thought, but he doesn’t look intimidated. Moxie stares coldly at Limey until Limey makes his way through the Cell door. Limey then enters the ring, and throws up the horns once more before holding his title high. Limey then turns his attention to Moxie, and without a word, hands his title to the Fink. Fink holds both titles high (despite only the EWT Championship being defended), and leaves the cell. Ring attendants lock the cell door, and so Limey, Moxie and the ref are trapped. The bell rings, and the match is underway. *

*Limey and Moxie begin the match by staring each other down. They trash-talk to one another, until Moxie suddenly slaps Limey in the face. Limey looks stunned initially, before slapping Moxie right back. Moxie then unleashes a full force of punches to Limey, pushing him to the corner! There, Moxie holds Limey’s head up from his chest, and hits him with a hard chop to the chest! Limey comes right back with a chop of his own to Moxie!!! Moxie retaliates by pulling off KENTA Kobashi-style rapid-fire chops to Limey’s chest, ending with a hard clothesline that takes Limey off the ground before landing him in a seated position in the turnbuckle! Moxie uses this opportunity to take a few steps back…and he runs at Limey with a knee to the face!!*

*Limey is stunned by the attack, and Moxie uses this opportunity to kick Limey out of the ring. Limey slides out, and lands hard on the mat below. Moxie then slides himself out of the ring before checking beneath the ring for weapons…Moxie pulls out a Singapore Cane to a pop from the crowd! As Limey tries to get to his feet, Moxie brings the cane down hard onto Limey’s back! The resulting smack sends Limey screaming in pain, but Moxie does not relent, instead bringing the cane down hard onto Limey once more! Moxie then talks down to Limey, who is still trying to recover as best he can by clinging onto Moxie to try and rise up to his feet, before raising the cane above his head a third time…Limey seizes the opportunity by grabbing Moxie in a tackle and shoving him over to the ring steps! Moxie’s back hits the ring steps hard, and although he doesn’t drop the can, he is clearly in a lot of pain from the attack! Limey backs off, trying to shake off the effects of the earlier assault with the cane, before approaching Moxie…Moxie swings the cane to hit Limey’s side, stunning him!! Moxie then, whilst bitterly holding his back, kicks off the top half of the ring steps before grabbing Limey, and appealing to the crowd! Moxie then hits the QUICK FIX DDT ON THE RING STEPS!!*

*Moxie takes a moment to catch his breath as he looks down at Limey, before picking him up by the head, and rolling him into the ring. Moxie then climbs to the apron, and performs a plancha leg drop onto Limey! Moxie follows up by hooking the leg!*

1,
2…

*Limey kicks out. Moxie looks annoyed by this, and looks to advice from Money Inc, who both give him the thumbs down. Moxie smiles maliciously at this, and he heads outside, looking underneath the ring…before pulling out a steel chair…and a small bag! Moxie chucks the bag into the ring before sliding into the ring with the chair! Moxie then grabs Limey by the head, and throws the chair down to the floor, calling for an Oracle onto the chair…Limey fights back with punches to the gut…before lifting Moxie over his head in a belly-to-belly!! Moxie hits the mat, but quickly rolls to his feet, turning around dazed to meet Limey…who levels him with the chair!! Both Moxie and Limey are down in the middle of the ring! Both Limey and Moxie try to get to their feet, with Limey being the first one up. Limey goes over to the bag Moxie threw in the ring, and opens it to check it…Limey’s eyes light up as he lets loose a small chuckle…he then pours the contents of the bag over the ring to reveal it contained THUMBTACKS!!! THOUSANDS OF THUMBTACKS!!! The crowd pop madly as Limey indicates to Moxie, and he intercepts Moxie as Moxie is on his knees! Limey takes Moxie by the head, and takes him to the center of the ring, in front of the thumbtacks. Limey then performs an Irish Whip to Moxie, sending him to the ropes! Limey then bends down, hoping for a back body drop onto the thumbtacks…Moxie counters…TORNADO DDT FROM MOXIE!! LIMEY’S HEAD FALLS STRAIGHT ONTO THE THUMBTACKS!!!*

*The crowd chant “HOLY ****!” and “EWT!!!” as Limey screams in pain, thumbtacks embedding his face! Moxie crawls to the ropes to lift himself up, brushing aside thumbtacks he landed on angrily. He then goes over to Limey, and stomps at him twice before picking up a handful of thumbtacks and throwing them mockingly at Limey. Moxie then goes to the outside, and again checks under the ring…Moxie then pulls out a handful of barbed wire wrapped around his arm!! He holds it up to a huge crowd pop before facing the ring…Limey shoves the steel chair through the ropes, smashing Moxie in the face!!! Moxie, hit bad by the force, falls back against the steel cell! Limey pulls himself painstakingly up by use of the ropes, and holds his head in agony before grabbing the ropes, and flying over in a plancha…Moxie evades Limey, and Limey hits the cell wall before falling to the floor and landing on his neck!! Limey looks to be in shambles as Moxie wastes no time in capitalizing, hitting him repeatedly with his barbed wire! Moxie then grabs Limey’s head, and rubs it against the cell wall, cutting Limey and busting him open! DiBiase motions for Moxie to hold Limey against the wall whilst IRS goes to the Fink and steals his chair (whilst saying “consider this a down payment on your mortgage!!”) IRS then goes over to where Moxie is holding Limey against the cell wall…and smashes Limey’s face with the chair through the cell! Limey falls to the floor as Moxie places one finger on Limey for the cover!*

1,
2,
3…NO!!!!

*LIMEY GETS A SHOULDER UP!!! Moxie can’t believe it, and he gets, to use the vernacular, a little pissed at this. Moxie checks under the ring once more, and gets out a pair of bolt cutters!! He looks down at Limey, and breathes out “Stay right there”, before going to the cell door…and cutting the padlock!! Moxie then opens the cell door (opening it towards him), and going to the announce table. He shoves the Fink out of his way (who no longer has a chair to protect himself with), and grabs the EWT World Heavyweight Championship!!! Moxie stares at the belt of kings proudly, as if he still owns it, before looking back at Limey, crawling to the cell door. Moxie screams back at Limey “YOU WANT THIS, DON’T YOU?”, before approaching the cell…LIMEY SWINGS THE CELL DOOR AT MOXIE, HITTING HIM SQUARE IN THE FACE!! Moxie is knocked to the floor as Limey lifts himself up! Limey is hurting badly, and has blood running down his face, but keeps his mind on the goal! Moxie scrambles to his feet, and turns around to see Limey…who simply stares him down!! Moxie looks at Limey, amidst deep breaths. Moxie then screams out “COME AT ME, YOU SON OF A B****!!!”…Limey runs at Moxie…Moxie attempts to hit Limey with the EWT World Heavyweight Championship, but fails…as Limey ducks underneath the shot, and locks a gut wrench on Moxie…lifting him for a release German suplex sending Moxie through the announce table!!!!*

*As both Limey and Moxie are downed from the force and the pain, the crowd chant “HOLY ****!” as well as “LIMEY” and a very large “PLEASE DON’T DIE!” directed at Moxie. Limey takes a while to get up, but he does eventually get to his feet. He sways on his feet, in so much pain and dizzy from losing blood, but manages to go over to Moxie to make the cover!*

1,
2,
3…NO!!!

*MOXIE KICKS OUT!!! Moxie’s desire to win back the gold is overwhelming as he kicks out!! Limey can’t believe Moxie’s resilience…and as he gets to his feet…he gives a little applause for Moxie in respect. The crowd do the same before Limey picks up Moxie to his knees…Moxie rushes Limey into the side of the cell!! Limey holds his back in pain as Moxie backs off to recuperate, leaning on the South African announcers table for support, before rushing Limey once more…Limey lifts himself up by using the cell wall to divert Moxie to hit the wall…Limey then hits Moxie with a Paul London kick to the back, pushing Moxie against the cell! Limey then makes his way to the South African announce table, and climbs it, stalking Moxie as Moxie turns from the cell…Limey leaps off with a flying lariat…NO!! Moxie counters with a dropkick in mid-air!!! As Limey falls to the floor, Moxie lifts himself up by use of the cell…staring back at Limey. No-one knows whether Moxie respects Limey, or is planning his next move…as this is happening, Money Inc. make their way over to Limey, and observe him. They then take turns kicking at Limey as Moxie looks on…not approving of this, but not stopping it either. DiBiase then grabs Limey and lifts him to his feet, applying a full Nelson, and indicating to IRS, who gets his chair ready, and shoves it first into Limey’s gut! DiBiase lifts Limey back up, before yelling to IRS “DO ANOTHER!!” Moxie looks on silently as IRS swings at Limey’s head…Limey ducks it, and IRS accidentally hits DiBiase!! IRS looks shocked as Limey immediately rushes up the cell!! Moxie, however, sees this, and quickly climbs up the cell himself! Limey reaches the top first, and mistakenly tries to catch his breath as he reaches the top…Moxie intercepts him first, and stomps him down when he reaches the top! Moxie pushes Limey’s face down onto the cell ceiling, further agitating Limey’s head wound, and makes this worse by standing with one foot on top of Limey’s head, stomping down onto the cell ceiling! Moxie then picks Limey up, and takes him over to the edge of the cell!!! The crowd “ooh!” in anticipation as Moxie looks ready to throw Limey off!!! Moxie grabs Limey’s head and is about to throw…Limey hits a gut shot to Moxie…AND HITS A FRONT DROPKICK, SENDING MOXIE DOWN TO THE MAT BELOW, And HIS FALL BROKEN BY LANDING ON MONEY INC!!!!!!*

*The crowd once again chant “HOLY ****!!!” and “PLEASE DON’T DIE!!” to Moxie!! IRS, DiBiase and Moxie are all downed on the outside!! Limey looks over the edge, and looks genuinely remorseful at what just happened. Limey then slowly climbs down the cell. He looks down at Moxie, and sighs, before begrudgingly going for the cover.*

1,
2,


….




….


*MOXIE KICKS OUT!!! MOXIE KICKS OUT!!!!! MOXIE KICKS OUT!!!!! Moxie, heart of a champion, has managed to kick out of falling from the top of a fifty-foot cell!!!!! Limey is stunned by this, and the crowd cheer wildly as Limey falls back in shock! Limey, along with everyone else in the happiest place on Earth, genuinely cannot believe what they have just seen!!! Limey picks himself up using the cell, and observes Moxie, who is slowly crawling to the South African announcers table. Moxie picks himself up, slowly but surely, and then turns to face Limey. Limey and Moxie stare each other down…before Limey extends his hand to Moxie, in a show of respect. Moxie stares at the offer, before looking up at Limey. Moxie then accepts the handshake, shaking Limey’s hand once before the two break, and back away from each other. The crowd cheer this display, before Moxie aims a punch at Limey! Limey catches the punch, and tries a punch of his own…Moxie catches THAT punch, and traps the arms, before lifting Limey over his head for a trapping suplex! Moxie approaches Limey’s head, but Limey catches him with a kick to the head, stunning Moxie just enough for Limey to get to his feet and try to catch Moxie with an STO…Moxie hits an elbow to Limey’s head, and counters with a single-arm DDT! Moxie then holds onto the arm, and twists it into a hammerlock as Limey counters by getting to a sitting position, and rising to his feet…Moxie suddenly runs Limey into the wall of the cell before lifting him over his head with a Tazzplex!! Moxie looks down at Limey’s body, and decides this to be the end as he climbs the cell wall…and points down to Limey for a huge pop!!! Moxie looks ready to dive off onto Limey…but notices Limey getting to his feet, and decides against it. Instead, as Limey grasps at the cell wall, and climbs up, Moxie simply waits for him. As Limey reaches the top, Moxie grabs Limey, and hits a butterfly suplex, sending him crashing down on the ceiling of the cell! The ceiling doesn’t collapse, though, and Moxie notices this. Instead of getting annoyed, though, Moxie picks up Limey by the head, and positions him near the center of the cell…Moxie then calls…for the TWIST O’ LIME!!! Moxie picks Limey up…Limey lands on his feet and locks in a reverse headlock to Moxie…before spinning him round and lifting him for an ORACLE….MOXIE GOES THROUGH THE CEILING OF THE CELL!!!!!*

*The crowd pop as Moxie hits the mat and almost goes through it!!! Limey, hit by the momentum, looks down at Moxie through the hole…and then turns his back to it. He then throws up the horns…and leaps through the hole in a moonsault…MOXIE GETS HIS KNEES UP!!! LIMEY HAS FALLEN THROUGH THE CELL HITTING HIS GUT ON MOXIE’S KNEES!!! Limey bounces off Moxie as Moxie takes a few breaths before rolling over to Limey…and going for the pin!*

1,
2…

*LIMEY KICKS OUT!!!! These two men are going through hell for the title!!!!! Moxie cannot believe this as he buries his head in his hands! Moxie crawls over to Limey, and hits some fury punches to the face of Limey, whose blood is now covering his face in a crimson mask!! Moxie applies a Buffalo sleeper to Limey, further agitating the head wound, and then shoving his head to the mat. Moxie then goes over to the steel chair, still left in the ring, and picks it up, slapping it to the mat in anticipation for Limey, who is helping himself up with the aid of the ropes…Moxie then charges Limey…Limey catches him with a drop toe hold, sending Moxie to the ropes, hitting his head on the chair!! Moxie then runs stunned into Limey, who catches him and calls for the TWIST O’ LIME…Moxie shoulder blocks Limey and measures him for the ORACLE…Limey is lifted up slightly, but fights back and lands on his feet, and hits some gut shots to Moxie…Moxie runs forward, and shoves Limey to the corner!!! Limey holds his back in pain before Moxie calls for the SUPER ORACLE!!! Moxie lifts Limey to the top rope…and climbs to the top rope…Limey hits a few shots to Moxie…sending Moxie falling to the mat…MOXIE RUNS STRAIGHT BACK TO THE TOP TURNBUCKLE…Limey is almost falling…but shoves Moxie from the top rope once more…MOXIE AGAIN RUSHES UP THE TURNBUCKLE AND GRABS LIMEY FOR THE SUPER ORACLE…LIMEY COUNTERS WITH THE SUPER TWIST O’ LIME FROM THE TOP ROPE ONTO THE STEEL CHAIR!!!!! Limey goes for the pin!!

1,
2,


…







….




3!!!

Winner, and STILL EWT World Heavyweight Champion: LIMEY!!!!

*Post-match, Limey has fallen to the floor, his face a crimson mess. Moxie is holding his head in his hands, flabbergasted at the outcome! The cell rises as the referee takes the EWT World Heavyweight Championship, and heads to the ring. Money Inc, still reeling from breaking Moxie’s fall from the top of the cell, get into the ring, and see to Moxie. Limey can’t stand as the ref raises his hand! Carla O Woe rushes to the ring, and sees to Limey as the happiest place on Earth get to their feet for these two athletes. Limey and Moxie are both downed, but they seem to be recovering. Money Inc help Moxie up, but he shrugs them off, determined to stand on his own two feet, as he does to a huge pop. Limey makes it to his feet as the ref hands him the championship. Limey has lost so much blood, and is hurt so badly, but he is happy. He accepts the belt, and then drops down to his knees, reduced to tears as he holds the championship to himself. Moxie observes him, and Limey looks up as Moxie approaches Limey. Carla eyes Moxie…but Moxie simply extends his hand to Limey…Limey accepts. Moxie then helps Limey up. Moxie, who has shown so much heart, so much determination in this match, then raises Limey’s hand to a huge pop from the crowd!! Limey and Moxie then hug in the ring, each one respecting the other for their commitment. Limey, who has bled pints, and Moxie, who has remained in the game despite falling from the cell on two occasions and sustaining damage. The two hug as confetti falls from the ceiling, to the delight of the Disney fans. The referee once again raises Limey’s hand in victory as Limey does the same for Moxie. Carla and Money Inc look proudly at Moxie and Limey as Magic; The Gathering comes to a close.*


*EWT 2006©*