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Post by Toom E. Guci on Aug 27, 2006 22:16:34 GMT -5
* Crap-a-mania III opens with pyro galore. As the pyro goes off, one spark comes to close & hits the ToomiTron. The ToomiTron starts to smolder as the backstage personal rush out with fire extinguishers. The fire is quickly contained with very little time taken from the pay per view, as Toom E dangerously is standing on the stage, looking up. He has a microphone in his hand.*
Toom E: Whoops. Sorry about that folks. Hope we didn’t scare any of you. Now, welcome one & all to Crap-a-mania III, the Blandest Stage of Them All & the Big Brother of Wrestling. Especially since I REFUSE to use that OTHER term.
* Toom E makes his way down to the ring while talking & gets in the ring.*
TED: Folks, I am very pleased to have for you tonight a returning EWT great to the EWT Family. For, this is a person you have been dying to see. And this superstar is sure to change the face of EWT as they have done before. You see, we have a little surprise in store for you all. Each & every one of you. And now Merc, if you will come to the ring please.
* Merc makes his way to the ring.*
TED: Merc, Merc, Merc…so good to see you here today. You know, many folks have been wondering who your opponent is. In fact, I am sure you have thought, too. See, I looked long & hard down the list of EWT Hall of Fame members to bring back for one night. You Gene Lesnar? Wonderful Wally Washington? 8Syxx? Yes, yes…I know. Obvious choices, I am sure. There’s also DSR, Crauswell, & A-Bomb now on that list. They would be just as easy to beat you. But no, I have decided something else in store for you. In fact, I have somebody else in store for you. HIT HIS MUSIC!!!
* psychoapeguy's music hits....a "welcome back" chant starts amongst the ewt crowd...but ape doesn't come out right away. the when it seems as if the chants have reached their peak with volume, ape comes out.....in a wheelchair. the "welcome back" chants quickly fade out as everyone is obviously very confused.
TED: Oh, & Merc…this match will be now fought under Hardcore Rules.
* Toom E leaves the ring & hands ape the microphone outside the ring.*
ape - ....nine months....for nine long months....i've struggled to get my body to function properly.....nine months ago, i was crippled....in that ring....from the neck down, i couldn't move an inch of my body....hehe...and in these past nine months, i've made some good strides towards being what i once was....but i'm still crippled from the waist down...and i can't feel anything from the neck down....my body is numb....when i stab my legs....i feel nothing....my stomach....nothing.....hehe....i can't even feel it when i'm stabbed in the back.....i can't feel the blood seep from the stab wounds....what good is a wound when you can't feel that blood rush towards the open slash to taste the sweet air of freedom as it leaves your body?.....when you can't savor that undeniable satistfaction.....of feeling the pain course through your body as a bone snaps in two?....
*ape stops and begins to punch his legs violently. after a moment he stops and points to merc in the ring.*
ape - ...you!....i remember you....hehe....you're a lucky man, my friend.....because, while i can't wrestle anymore.....i am back....hehe and you get to be the victim of the first wrestler that i've acquired since i've gotten...hehe...since i've gotten my managerial license....hehe...
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Aug 27, 2006 22:17:01 GMT -5
*before ape says anything else, a large masked man carrying a small children's sled hops the railing and climbs one of the turnbuckles behind merc. he looks to be roughly 6'6" and near the 300 pound mark. ape slowly rolls his way down the isle towards the ring. right before he arrives at the ring, ape stops and points at the turnbuckle where the large man is waiting. merc, sensing something, hesitantly turns around. the large man leaps off the turnbuckle in an attempt to hit merc with the sled, but merc rolls away to a turnbuckle before he can be hit.
the large man charges merc into the turnbuckle, but merc moves out of the way and the big man crashes sternum first into the corner. he stumbles back, and merc propels himself off the ropes and hits a clothesline on the big man, but he doesn't go down. merc bounces off the ropes and hits a second clothesline, which rocks the big man, but he still doesn't go down. merc bounces off for a third, but the big man catches merc by the throat. he starts to lift merc up for a chokeslam, but merc kicks the big man below the belt, 'causing him to drop merc. merc quickly gets up and ddt's the big man and covers him.
1......2......big kickout.
the big man kicked out with so much force that merc landed on his feet. merc immediately begins to stomp on the downed big man. merc bounces off the ropes and goes for another clothesline on the big man, but the big man was waiting and gorilla presses merc high into the air. after a few seconds, the big man pushes merc up, then quickly gets down to one knee and lets merc fall into a vicious gutbuster. the big man goes for a cover.
1......2.......kickout.
the big man picks merc up and sets him up for what appears to be a power bomb. he's wastes too much time, and merc hits the second low blow of the match, followed by a third and fourth, to bring the big man down to his knees.
a frantic ape begins to scream on the outside and begins to claw at one of the wheels of his wheelchair...apparently in an attempt to pull it off. after a few moments, after merc grabs a chair on the opposite end of the ring on the outside, ape manages to pull the wheel off and he slides it to the big man in the ring.
before the big man can use it, merc drives the chair down onto the skull of his opponent and covers him.
1.....2......kickout.
merc continues his assault with the chair on his downed opponent....and ape acreams on the outside in his one-wheeled wheelchair. suddenly, ape's screams briefly pause and he pulls out a snowglobe and holds it high into the air. ape continues to hold the globe above his head as he screams to the big man in the ring.
merc lifts the big man's head from the mat and uses the chair to put some sort of a sleeperhold on the big man. the big man's eyes starts to slowly fade...the referee comes over to check his arm. he lifts it, it falls. he lifts it a second time, it falls again. the big man notices the snowglobe that ape is holding in the air. the referee lifts the big mans arm again, but this time, it stays up. the big man, seemingly rejuvinated, quickly gets up, with both merc and the chair still wrapped around his throat. he reachs behind him and clutches merc's head and drives him down with a death valley driver. he pauses for a second to stare at the snowglobe that ape is holding. the big man seems to have an inner peace to him for a few seconds...
...but the peace doesn't last. he picks up the downed merc and delivers a spinebuster onto ape's wheelchair wheel. rather than go for the pin, the big man walks over and picks up the child's sled that he had brought with him into the ring. he walks over to the corner and patiently waits for merc to get to his feet. once merc does, the big man charges with the sled and shatters the wooden sled over merc's face...possibly breaking his nose.
the big man exits the ring and walks over to ape. ape hands the big man the snowglobe. seemingly in a trance, the big man smiles as he looks into the globe and doesn't move. ape begins to scream, and it snaps the big man out of it. he then crawls back into the ring and places the snowglobe in the center of the squared circle. he picks up merc and whips him off the ropes. merc slides underneath the big man's legs and quickly hits a bulldog before he can turn around. he goes for the cover.
1...........2..........kickout.
both men get to their feet. merc bounces off the ropes, and hits a clothesline, rocking the big man once again. merc bounces off for a second time, but this time ape reaches up and hook's merc's leg. merc turns around and stomps ape's arm. he then bounces off the ropes again and is caught with a vicious black hole slam onto the snowglobe by the big man, completely shattering the snowglobe. he goes for the pin.
1.........2...........3.
the big man gets up and exits the ring. he grabs a microphone and walks over to ape and hands it to him. he then picks ape up and carries him piggyback into the ring. ape then begins to speak.*
ape - .....hehe....whoever faces this man....as the lights go out...and they slip into unconciousness.....the last thing they mutter will be his name...
*ape pats the big man on the shoulder.*
ape - ....ewt....i've come back to kill this company.....the company that took away the one thing i ever really cared about....pain....and when it's all said and done....much like the opponents that will lay amongst the rubble from his carnage....when the ewt dies, it too will mutter his name under its final breath.......
*the big man walks over to the debris of the child's sled he brought into the ring. he gives the biggest piece to ape and ape holds it high above his head as he lowers his head and whispers into the microphone.*
ape - .........rosebud.
*the duo exit the ring and head to the back.*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Aug 27, 2006 22:17:24 GMT -5
* Weird Al Yankovic steps out on the stage. He’s wearing a Nyrds shirt, as he busts out in song:*
It's all about the Pentiums, baby
* And with those six words, the crowd is sent into a tizzy, and out come the Nyrds and Keiko. *
Uhh, uh-huh, yeah Uhh, uh-huh, yeah It's all about the Pentiums, baby It's all about the Pentiums, baby It's all about the Pentiums! It's all about the Pentiums! (Yeah!!)
What y'all wanna do? Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers Wastin' time with all the chatroom yakkers? 9 to 5, chillin' at Hewlett Packard? Workin' at a desk with a dumb little placard? Yeah, payin' the bills with my mad programming skills Defraggin' my hard drive for thrills I got me a hundred gigabytes of RAM I never feed trolls and I don't read spam Installed a T1 line in my house Always at my PC, double-clickin' on my mizouse Upgrade my system at least twice a day I'm strictly plug-and-play, I ain't afraid of Y2K I'm down with Bill Gates, I call him Money for short I phone him up at home and I make him do my tech support It's all about the Pentiums, what? You gotta be the dumbest newbie I've ever seen You've got white-out all over your screen You think your Commodore 64 is really neato What kinda chip you got in there, a Dorito? You're usin' a 286? Don't make me laugh Your Windows boots up in what, a day and a half? You could back up your whole hard drive on a floppy diskette You're the biggest joke on the Internet Your database is a disaster You're waxin' your modem, tryin' to make it go faster Hey fella, I bet you're still livin' in your parents' cellar Downloadin' pictures of Sarah Michelle Gellar And postin' "Me too!" like some brain-dead AOL-er I should do the world a favor and cap you like Old Yeller You're just about as useless as jpegs to Helen Keller
It's all about the Pentiums! It's all about the Pentiums! It's all about the Pentiums! It's all about the Pentiums!
Now, what y'all wanna do? Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers Wastin' time with all the chatroom yakkers? 9 to 5, chillin' at Hewlett Packard?
Uh, uh, loggin' in now Wanna run wit my crew, hah? Rule cyberspace and crunch numbers like I do? They call me the king of the spreadsheets Got'em all printed out on my bedsheets My new computer's got the clocks, it rocks But it was obsolete before I opened the box You say you've had your desktop for over a week? Throw that junk away, man, it's an antique!
Your laptop is a month old? Well, that's great If you could use a nice, heavy paperweight My digital media is write-protected Every file inspected, no viruses detected I beta tested every operating system Gave props to some, and others? I dissed'em While your computer's crashin', mine's multitaskin' It does all my work without me even askin' Got a flat-screen monitor, 40" wide I believe that yours says, "Etch-A-Sketch" on the side In a 32-bit world, you're a 2-bit user You've got your own newsgroup, alt.total-loser Your motherboard melts when you try to send a fax Where'd you get your CPU, in a box of Cracker Jacks? Play me online? Well, you know that I'll beat you If I ever meet you I'll control-alt-delete you What?
It's all about the Pentiums! It's all about the Pentiums! It's all about the Pentiums! It's all about the Pentiums!
What y'all wanna do? Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers Wastin' time with all the chatroom yakkers? 9 to 5, chillin' at Hewlett Packard? What?
* As Al stands in the middle of the ring now, he raises his fist in the air with a Power Glove on his hand. Joel pushes a shopping cart, apparently from Game Stop, filled with, what else, gaming junk. Systems, controllers, games themselves, they're all in there. Joel lets the cart roll down the ramp and joins Mike in looking like a goofy white guy. They dance down the ramp, and spring into the ring. Mike dances his way to the middle of the ring, and does, what else, the Windmill. Joel gets behind him, and throws up the N, as Keiko walks around the ring to excite the crowd for Joel and Mike's appearance. She then proceed to unload the contents of the cart, and tosses them into the ring.*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Aug 27, 2006 22:17:52 GMT -5
That rockin' version of "Amhrán na bhFiann" begins to play, and Coach Pat O'Hare, Aidan Donnelly, and Sean McCann stroll out. They have their own cart as well, and it's filled with the usual wrestling weapons...folding chairs, trashcans, and kendo sticks and others. Mike and Joel bug the referee about this, and when Team Ireland gets into the ring, the ref inquires them about this turn of events. Luckily, for himself anyway, Coach O'Hare has a microphone.
Pat O'Hare: I'm aware of the rules of this ridiculous Nintendo Power match, and the rules state that only weapons having any involvement with video games are allowed. Well, I, as an avid "gamer" as I'm told they're called today, I have collected a number of items, via ebay, and through my own personal collection. *as Aidan and Sean hand him various items from their cart* This steel folding chair was a chair I was able to attain via visiting a video game conference! This is an official Microsoft trash-can! This is the official trash-can lid to the official Microsoft trash-can! This Kendo stick was given to me by a weird Japanese guy at E3 2004! And of course, the very Hurley, my pride and joy, was signed by a great man...Mark Ecko!
Upon hearing the name of evil, Mike tries to rush Coach O'Hare, but Joel, Keiko, and the referee hold him back. O'Hare pretends to fend him off with the Hurley, and steps out of the ring and stays at ringside.
Pat O'Hare: You may go ahead and search the cart thoroughly, everything in there is very legal. Now, if you will, please ring the bell, so that my men may overtake their less talented foes.
The ref has the bell ring, and this match is on....like Donkey Kong. Mike makes his way to his corner, and Sean McCann to his. Joel and Aidan are to start this off, and they start by literally going head to head, as their foreheads push into eachother, both trying to gain a better footing. Suddenly, Joel rears back and tries an Shotei (an upperhand palm slap), which Aidan ducks. When Joel turns around, he has enough time to just barely duck Aidan's Canadian Uppercut (which is a European Uppercut...put two n' two together, why don't you?) The two again go forehead to forehead, when Joel brings hands up, clasps them to the back of Aidan's head, and drops to his heinder in what may in fact be the first forehead breaker. The shock and impact causes Aidan to fall backward onto, what else, his back. Joel follows up by trying to get a quick pin, but Aidan is having none of that.
Aidan grabs the Kendo Stick that he had brought, and Joel grabs a NES machine. Joel uses it as a shield, blocking the tip of the cane from striking him. Joel suddenly drops to his knees and throws the NES, aiming for Aidan's legs. Aidan hops over the NES, and swings his Kendo Stick with great authority down at Joel. Joel manages to roll out of the way, and he hops to his feet, hits the ropes, and as he nears Aidan, ducks his clothesline. Aidan then turns around as Joel passes him, and takes a swing, hitting Joel right in the calves. Joel drops to his knees. Aidan follows that up by choking Joel with the cane. Aidan then swings for the fences, hitting Joel right across the chest. Joel falls backwards, and onto his back. Aidan casually walks back over to his partner. Aidan tags Sean in, and hands him the Kendo stick. Sean walks over to the still down Joel, and puts the cane across Joel's throat, and applies his weight onto the cane, using his knees. Joel's legs kick, as the life is choked out of him.
Suddenly, Sean grabs at his head. He gets up, and realizes he's been hit by a Gameboy game cartridge. Mike had thrown it at him from his corner. Sean points at Mike, rushes over to him, and swings the Kendo stick with all he has. Mike ducks the cane, knees Sean in the back, and slingshot dropkicks him through the middle and top ropes. Sean stumbles forward, and Joel comes to life, drop toe holding Sean to the mat, which slams his face into the NES. Joel walks over his pile, and pulls up something we'd never thought we'd see him with; an X-Box. The weight an average X-Box contains makes it a useful weapon, and for the record, Joel and Mike are getting rid of it after the match. Joel approaches Sean, who's getting back up, holding his forehead, and fussing over his face. As he's on his knees, he looks up in time to see Joel throw said X-Box direcly into Sean's face. Joel attempts a pin, but the count only reaches two. Sean still has energy left.
Joel walks over to Mike, and for the first time in the match, tags him in. Mike rushes in, runs past the down Sean McCann, and hops onto the second rope, looking for a Quebrada. Sudddenly, he feels himself stumble. Aidan had fudged up his Quebrada attempt by shaking the ropes with his foot. Mike lands on his feet, fortunately, before following in Hayabusa's footsteps. Mike walks up to Aidan, and starts to yell at him. Sean suddenly forearms him in the back, which causes Mike to stagger into a forearm from Aidan. Mike turns into Sean, whom takes him down with a headlock takedown. Mike begins to get to his feet, as Sean crisscrosses to an adjacent ringside, hits the ropes, and when he reaches Mike, hops up, grabs him around the head as if looking for a bulldog, bounces off the top rope, and spins once into an armdrag. Sean begins jumping around the ring, incredibly excited with this feat.
O'Hare makes his presence known right now by sliding in a table. Across the table, in broad green lettering, is the word "X-BOX", which the ref allows. Sean sets the table up, and Mike tries to pull himself at the end of the table. Sean takes one of the chairs he brought to the ring, and slides it across the table. Mike drops down under the table, and the chair misses him by inches. Sean walks around the table, and picks Mike up by the hair, and sets him up for a suplex, attempting to put him through the table. However, Mike hooks his leg around Sean's, and stops the process. Sean tries again, and once more, before Mike finally pushes Sean away, and lets loose the Jolt Cola Mist! However, Sean manages to duck the spray of soda, and gets Mike by doing something of a reverse Russian Legsweep, kinda like the Stroke, only not gay. Through this move, Mike is slammed into the table. Sean covers Mike, but Mike isn't through yet, kicking out at two.
Sean tags in Aidan, and they go over to Mike, and set him up for a double suplex. Just as they attempt to suplex him through the table, Keiko suddenly runs in, and turns over the table. Coach O'Hare hops onto the apron and begins yelling at the ref to get her out of there, and the ref tells Keiko to get back to ringside, threatening to send her to the back if she doesn't comply, or if she tries to run in again. Sean puts the table back up, and they again set up the double suplex. This time, Joel hops onto the table, and jumps off to double leg dropkick (a leg for each opponent) Aidan and Sean in the back. They let go of Mike, and fall to the ground. Joel and Mike set the table into a nearby corner. They then lay Sean over the table, and each grab Aidan by an arm, and set him up for the T-Gimmick. In that position, they begin running at Sean, attempting to T-Gimmick Aidan into Sean and the table.
Sean kicks up, and catches Mike in the chest. Without Mike's support, Aidan falls out of Joel's grasp. Aidan whirls around Joel, and German suplexes him into the table, breaking it, and possibly Joel, in half. Aidan presses down on Joel, and the ref manages to count two before Mike stomps on Aidan, breaking up the count. Coach O'Hare gets goes ape s***, as this could have been the chance to put the Nyrds away. The Coach hops onto the ring apron, and again begins yelling at the ref. Keiko picks up O'Hare's abandoned Hurley, and hides it for safe-keeping. When O'Hare returns to his ring-side area, he again loses his mind over his lost Hurley.
Aidan manages to clack both Joel and Mike over the head with the "official" trash-can lid, and takes the X-Box that Joel used earlier, setting it up in the ring. Sean drags Joel over to the X-Box, and sets him up on his stomach, pulling his arms behind him. Sean puts his feet squarely between Joel's shoulderblades, and the crowd rumbles, knowing what may be imminent... Sean Curb Stomps Joel right into the X-Box, which earns a gigantic OOHHHHHHHHHHHHH of shock, awe, and possibly fear over this move. Keiko actually slides into the ring to check on Joel, and the ref shoos her out again, apparently forgetting his earlier threat. Sean rolls Joel out of the way, and pulls Mike over to the X-Box, and looks for the same move to happen.
Mike manages to writhe his way free, and jumps to his feet. Mike jumps with all he has, and catches Sean right in the head with a Gamengiri. Sean staggers around, and falls to the mat. Aidan pulls Mike to his feet, and hits a snap suplex. Mike is obviously spent from the whole endeavor, and the chair Aidan has places over Mike's chest probably isn't going to help very much. Aidan ascends the nearest turnbuckle, and takes off, hitting a double foot stomp on Mike, and the chair. Mike rolls around the ring, grabbing at his chest. Aidan pulls Mike to the center of the ring, and places the chair on top of him again. Aidan climbs up top again, but just before he takes to the air, Joel manages to get to his feet, and hit the ropes, crotching Aidan right on top. Aidan begins singing soprano.
Joel staggers to the middle of the ring, shakes himself back to life, and runs at Aidan, and JUMPS, with all he's worth, able to hit a hurricanrana right out of the jump, which we'll describe as the HurricanMana...get it...as in Secret of Mana....or...yeah, you'll get it. Joel manages to dropkick Sean as well. Joel drags Sean over to Mike, and helps him up. Joel sits on Sean's back, and locks in a Camel Clutch. Mike retrieves a copy of Nintendo Power, and hands it to Joel. The Clutch still locked in, Joel takes the magazine, and starts paging through it, a clear rip off of Mister ZERO's Morning Ritual spot. Aidan runs over, grabs the magazine, and begins ripping it apart, and stomping on it. Mike hands Joel a copy of Electronic Gaming Monthly, which Joel also starts reading, and when Aidan turns away from his angry ripping, he sees Joel with his other magazine. Aidan nearly falls off his feet, but stops himself by catching the ropes.
Aidan tears away the other magazine, and throws that into the crowd. Joel and Mike, refilled with vim and vigor, grab Aidan by either arm, and whip him to the ropes opposite them. Joel flapjacks Aidan into the air, and Mike hits a Bloodblower on him out of the air. Mike keeps the Bloodblown position on, as Joel steps onto the apron, and attempts to springboard to do something. But we don't find out what something is when Coach O'Hare slips him up. Coach O'Hare stands on the apron, triumphant over ruining Joel's maneuver. He then falls off the apron, grabbing at his crotch. Keiko had used the Hurley she'd stolen earlier to catch him from behind in his potatoes.
Meanwhile, in the ring, Mike, realizing his maneuver he was going to pull off with Joel will be going nowhere, pulls Aidan to his feet, to be socked in the stomach by Aidan himself. Aidan then hits the Irish Destroyer out of nowhere, and covers Mike for a two count, when Joel breaks it up. Sean finally gets back up and swacks Joel in the back with the chair, and hits Mike directly in the forehead with the chair. A close-up reveals that Mike is beginning to bleed. Once again in control, Aidan calls for O'Hare to send in another table. In pain, O'Hare slides another table, this time, in big bold cursive, Bill Gates is signed across the top. And now Joel is across that top, as both Aidan and Sean set up the table, and Joel on top of it. Sean climbs to the top rope, and flips off the crowd before hitting a moonsault off the top, and sending Joel through the table.
Aidan covers Joel, still on the table, and the ref count about two and 43/44'ths before Mike breaks up the count. Mike hits Sean in the head, and it can be seen that Mike has something in his hand, because Sean is sent out of the ring through the ropes. A close up now reveals the object...THE WII-MOTE. Mike, blood dribbling down his forehead, unleashes a Muta scream, and turns around to bring the Wii-mote down on the head of Aidan. Aidan falls to the mat. Mike pulls Joel up, and they each take a chair, and set them in the sitting position near a turnbuckle. Joel then sets up a Vertebreaker, aiming Aidan's head directly over the chairs. Mike climbs to the top, throws up the N, and soars through the air to Ghetto Stomp Aidan, just as Joel hits the Vertebreaker onto the seats. Aidan Donnelly has officially been PWN3D.
Mike prevents Sean from running back in, and Keiko jumps on O'Hare's back as Joel covers Aidan. The ref counts...one....two.......
THREE!
The Nyrds have defeated Team Ireland in the very first Nintendo Power match! The crowd roars, and Keiko runs in to hug her boys. All three celebrate, as we're taken to the next segment of the PPV.
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Aug 27, 2006 22:18:11 GMT -5
The sounds of feet marching sounds and a low bass line play.
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen...Joe One!
WE WANT WAR! WAKE UP!
One appears from behind the curtain. He shows no emotion as he walks to the ring. Flames blaze from the set as the marching stops and metal plays. He walks up the steps of the ring and gets in the ring, grabbing a mic. He speaks with a BBC accent.
One: Good evening. My name is Joe One. I was SUPPOSED to have a match tonight, but my opponent, who will remain nameless, chickened out. This isn't the first time such has happened. In fact, shortly after I began wrestling on Airstrip One, few men were willing to fight me. Those who did felt my strengh of unimaginable hate. To say I won handidly would be an understatement.
One: I have come to EWT, not to become the next Spaz...
(cheers)
One:...or the next Gasoline...
(some cheers)
One:...but to become greater than them. Better than anyone has ever been here. I always shoot for the best, and I never miss my mark. In fact, let me see what my overall record has been....hmm......I believe I have 77 victorys, naught losses, and 3 matches that went to time limit. But it's nothing. I have far to go before filling the Nine Orders.
One: I guarentee you that by Crap-a-Mania IV, I shall become champion of all heavyweights. There are many men who think they should be champion, but there can be only One.
Music plays as Joe exits the ring, still showing no emotion.
* Just then, Toom E Dangerously comes walking out from the back & stops on the stage. He has a microphone in his hand.*
TED: Just who in the hell do you think you are? You were SUPPOSED to have a match tonight? Last I checked son, there was NOBODY scheduled against you because NOBODY knows who the hell you are. You have had one match here. One match. Against a bum like Nathan Jones, who isn’t even fit to hold my jockstrap, let alone be classified as an EWT superstar. You want to headline Crap-a-mania IV? You want to prove to these fans that you are EWT worthy? Fine, you do so next week on EWT television. If you have the guts to show up, then you will wrestle against the man they call Merc. And if Merc can overcome his loss tonight, the 2 of you will compete in a Blue Collared Match.
What’s a Blue Collared Match, you say? I will have a pink slip hanging right above that ring. And the first man to reach that pink slip will be the one to hand that pink slip to his opponent. And the one who doesn’t get that pink slip from over the ring will no longer have a job here in EWT. Do I make myself clear?
* Toom E then turns around & walks backstage, a smile on his face.*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Aug 27, 2006 22:18:32 GMT -5
Clem Chowder’s generic rock music begins as he makes his way down the ramp .
Ring Announcer: “Ladies and Gentlemen, this match has been scheduled for one fall and is a “falls count anywhere hardcore rules your fired rules match!”
The Ring Announcer takes a deep breath and then continues.
Ring Announcer: “ Introducing first, hailing from New England, Missouri and weighing in at 249 Lbs., Cllleeeemmmm Chooooowwwwwwwwwwdeeeeeerrrrrrrrr!”
Clem slides into the ring, turns to the ramp, and waits.
BOOOOMMM! A huge pyrotechniqal explosion nearly shakes the whole arena and the vibrations can be still felt two minutes later.
“Do You Want To Be A Hero?” blares out of the speakers as the next man makes his way out from the backstage area and down the ramp.
“And his opponent, hailing from Singapore, China and weighing in at 250 Lbs., Singapore Caine!”
The two men are now inside the ring.
They encircle each other—each man daring the other to make the first move.
Caine drops his weapon to the mat and kicks it out of the ring and then invites Clem to go ahead and attack him.
And Clem takes the invitation. He lunges out and kicks Caine in the gut bending him over—Clem follows it up with a Gulliotine Legdrop off the ropes and then kicks Caine a hard kick to the back of the head.
Caine falls to the mat and Clem leaps ontop of him biting and scratching for all he’s worth.
POW! Caine delivers a straight punch to the face of Clem Chowder and sends the New English idiot sprawling across the mat.
Both men jump to their feet and Clem slips on a pair of brass knux with which he plans to knock out Singapore Caine.
Before he gets the chance to do so however he is clothes-lined over the top rope and to the hard floor below outside of the ring by Caine.
Caine mounts the closest top Turnbuckle and drops buttfirst onto Clem’s chest causing the other man to howl in pain and try and scurry away. Caine however grabs the fleeing coward’s ankle and stomps as hard as he can on it. Clem rolls to the side and struggles to his feet-WHAP! And gets a kick to the chest for his troubles.
The impact of the blow sends Clem over the barricade and into the crowd. Caine follows a second later and resumes his all-out-assault.
The two men fight-trading punches back and forth and work their way into the hallways of the building.
Singapore Caine delivers a chop to the bridge of Clem Chowder’s nose and the man slams backward into a wall before crumpling to the floor.
Sudddenly from out of nowhere Singapore Caine is leapt upon from behind. He immedietly loses his focus as the mystery person on his back begins to bite, scratch, and constantly cover his eyes blocking his vison.
Clem struggles to his feet and grins a wide grin. “Caine—I’d like you to meet my Girlfriend Darla Vivian-ain’t she hot?”
Clem laughs as Caine struggles to free himself from the clutches of Darla Vivian.
“Hey honey, “ Clem says, speaking to his girlfriend “Do you have that thing I asked ya to get?”
Darla begins to choke Caine with her pearl necklace. “I sure do love machine!” she says excitedly ”In fact it should be just around the corner leaning up against the wall waiting for you!”
Clem dissappears around the corner for a moment.
When he re-appeaers he’s got Singapore Caine’s Singapore Cane.
He raises it above his head.
“Let’s see how you like getting the friggin’ hell beat outta you-you bastard!” he screams in anger as he twirls the cane around.
However Clem has spent to much time yapping and not enough time attacking and Singapore Caine.
This has in turn given the fan favorite a chance to recover.
He lashes out with a vicous kick to Clem’s groin and sends the other man to the cold concrete floor(something that’s beginning to become a habit for Clem!) Caine then elbows Darla in the ribcage and breaks her hold on him.
Snatching his Singapore cane he turns and smashes Darla in the head an amazing ten times before finally letting her fall to the cold concrete floor on top of her boyfriend. Where she begins to bleed a little bit.
Singapore Caine then turns to Clem Chowder and smashes him several times across the back of the head. Then a moment later—Clem too begins to bleed all over the floor.
Grabbing one of Clem’s legs,Caine drags him down the hall. towards the ring. But first he stops, pulls Clem to his feet and sends him headfirst through a glass window. Exiting through the Fire Escape door he marches outside, pulls Clem to his feet and sends him right through another window and back into the building in the process.
Caine grabs the slow moving fire exit door before it can shut all the way closed and slams him face first into the wall.
Grabbing one of Clem’s legs again, he begins to drag him back towards the arena and back towards the ring.
WHAMMO!
Darla suddenly charges around the corner pushing a small cart at a high speed and knocks both men down. She leaps back onto Caine’s back and begins to beat him mercilessly-Caine however has had enough and counters with a simple Back Body Drop onto the concrete floor, then he picks Darla up and follows up with a piledriver into the hard concrete floor knocking her senseless. Clem Chowder tries to attack from behind but gets elbowed in the gut for his troubles. Caine then gives him a Singapore Neckbreaker knocking him out as well.
The dropping Clem to the floor Caine grabs his opponent’s ankle and drags him the rest of the way into the Arena and a moment later, into the ring.
He gives Clem another Singapore Drop and then covers him for the pin.
“1…”
“2….”
“3!”
Singapore Caine has won and Clem Chowder is as of now…no longer a EWT superstar.
As Singapore Caine raises his arms in victory, he is suddenly attacked from behind by two guys wearing identical tights that are simply half black and half powder blue, as well as matching bandannas on their heads.
They laugh as they slide out of the ring, walk up the ramp and dissappear backstage
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Aug 27, 2006 22:21:07 GMT -5
* Todd Grisham is backstage with Dr. Vivian Anemone.*
Grisham: Dr. Vivian, why did you ask for this time right now?
Dr. Vivian: Why did I ask for this time? Because I am not happy. The Sunshine Squad, they are not happy. We have proven time & time again that we are an unstoppable team & what happens? Rachel Leigh Cook? Bolt Bacana & Chad Micheals? Where is our chance? The fans would be happy to see us…as they are always happy to see us.
* Just then, Dr. Vivian Anemone goes down hard. And standing above her with a steel chair is…*
Grisham: OH MY GOD!!! Mystery, what the…what the hell are you doing here? Last time we saw you, you said you were a normal girl. You said that you were done with wrestling. What is the meaning of this?
* Mystery looks at Grisham & smashes the chair in his face. Mystery grabs the microphone.*
Mystery: I think i will go for a walk outside now the summer sun´s callin my name (i hear ya now) i just can´t stay inside all day i´ve got to get out get me some of those rays everybody´s smilin sunshine day everybody´s laughin sunshine day everybody seems so happy today it is a sunshine day
* Mystery drops the microphone & walks off. *
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Aug 27, 2006 22:22:09 GMT -5
Toni "The Garc" Garcya: The following contest is scheduled for one fall.
*A Rocked-up version of "Amhrán na bhFiann" plays over the EWT sound system as Shane Malone & Coach O'Hare make their way to the ring. As usual Malone & the Coach are wearing Gaelic shirts with numbers printed on the back. Coach O'Hare is waving a Hurley with an Irish Tricolour attached to it. Both men stop about halfway down the ramp and raise their arms in the air as their green, white & gold pyro goes off behind them.*
Toni "The Garc" Garcya: Introducing first, weighing in at 297lbs, being accompanied by Coach O'Hare, proudly representing his home country of Ireland, "The Celtic Giant" SHANE MALONE!
*"Fire It Up" hits as green and blue lights swirl over the arena and a countdown begins on the Toomitron. Once the countdown reaches 0, the drums hit and Booker T.-type pyro hits as Evans walks out to huge cheers. He walks down the ramp checking his wrist before sliding in. He runs to the turnbuckle and hops onto the second rope before raising his hand in the air.*
Garcya: And his opponent weighing in at 218lbs. He is the "Human Hurricane", "Mr. 720". This is CHRIS EVANS!
DING-DING! *Evans & Malone begin the match cautiously circling each other.*
Nick Russ: These two have certainly managed to get into each other’s heads quite effectively over the past few weeks. Each costing the other victories in key matches. If Team Ireland had just been able to let things slide they probably could've worked their way into title contention rather than allow their attentions to be diverted by a young up & comer like Evans.
"The Lord" Jerome East: Hey. If Coach O'Hare says that Evans stood in the way of his guys who are we to doubt him. O'Hare has been nothing but the model of honesty & integrity since Team Ireland first showed up here in EWT.
*The pair lock up in a test of strength. Malone has a clear advantage over the smaller Evans & begins forcing the smaller man to his knees. Eventually, Malone just shoves Evans clear across the ring. Evans is a little surprised, but regains his composure. He makes a dash at Malone, attempting a shoulder block. Malone retains his ground, barely budging. Evans shoots off the ropes again, making contact with another shoulder block. Once again, Malone feels it, but doesn’t move an inch. Evans attempts another run off the ropes. This time Malone swings his arm at Evans upon his return, attempting a lariat. Evans ducks under Malone's arm, & springboards off the opposite set of ropes, nailing Malone with an asai moonsault. The big man is down, but not for long. Malone gets to his feet, clearly enraged at being humiliated by the smaller man.*
Russ: Evans certainly getting the better of "The Celtic Giant" there.
East: Maybe so. But the big lad’s back on his feet.
Russ: "Big lad"? Have you been out drinking with O'Hare?
*Malone grabs a hold of Evans' hair while "The Human Hurricane" is appealing to the crowd. Evans, in a spectacular display of agility actually runs up the body of Malone, somewhat moonsaulting off the big guy's body & causing him to release his grip. Malone is clearly in shock as he stumbles backwards from the move. The crowd cheer wildly & Evans winks out at them again. Malone rolls to the outside where Coach O'Hare rubs his shoulders & whispers instructions. The referee begins counting while Evans stands proudly in the ring. In an effort to make the ref stop the 10-count, O'Hare starts making the "Time-Out" symbol with his hands.*
Russ: Now what's he doing? There are no time outs in professional wrestling!
…3
…4
…5
*Before Malone can make his way back into the ring, Evans performs a corkscrew plancha to the outside, taking out both Malone & the coach. Evans celebrates again, raising his hands in the air. This pause enables Malone to take advantage. Having recovered from the plancha he received, Malone gets to his feet & clubs Evans in the back of the head, before rolling him back into the ring.
Malone gets back into the ring himself & proceeds to lay a beating on Evans, stomping him & dropping elbows on him. While Evans is attempting to crawl away from this pounding, Malone takes a few steps back & delivers a HUGE kick to Evans while he is on all fours. Evans goes flying across the ring & Malone begins some posing of his own.*
East: This must’ve been the strategy he was discussing with Coach O'Hare. They’re trying to keep Evans grounded so he can’t make use of all his flippity-dippity crap!
*Malone once again picks Evans up by the hair. This time there is no resistance from "Mr. 720". He is merely dragged to his feet by Malone & rests there rather listlessly. Malone taunts Evans for a moment then cinches him in what seems to be a bearhug. But he throws the high flyer clear across the ring, again, with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex. Malone saunters over & picks Evans up again. Evans, rather weakly attempts to fight back, but can only muster a weak punch that misses Malone completely. Malone smirks & hefts Evans up into a suplex, holding him up for a looooooooooooooong time before spinning 'round & hitting a body slam. Malone goes for a cover.* 1…
2…
*Evans gets his shoulder up*
Russ: Can you believe it? He kicked out after taking such huge power moves from Malone.
East: Kicked out, my arse! That was one of the slowest counts I have ever bore witness to & I saw Starrcade 1997!
*Malone & O'Hare are furious. O'Hare leaps up on the ring apron & begins debating with the referee, casually throwing his hurley into the ring. Malone picks up the hurley & prepares to make use of it, but the keen-eyed ref is wise to Team Ireland’s schtick & turns around to grab the hurley from Malone's hands & admonish the big guy. The ref throws the hurley outside the ring & begins to yell at O'Hare some more. The ref is actually shouting at O'Hare to leave ringside! O'Hare is aghast!*
Russ: Finally! Perhaps a member of Team Ireland can actually try to win a match fairly for a change!
*O’Hare, in an absolute rage, storms to the back. All the while the crowd sings to him:*
CROWD: NA NA NA NA! NA NA NA NA! HEY HEY HEY! GOO-OOD BYE!
*Back in the ring Malone is flabbergasted that his mentor has been removed & attempts to wrestle on without his guidance. Malone turns around and gets hit with a dropkick from Evans. Evans starts to fight back, and hits Malone with another dropkick before following it up with a Rolling Thunder. Malone is dazed right now as Evans starts to signal for the end. Evans goes behind Malone and looks to hit the Quick Fix, but Malone turns around and hits a side suplex. Malone picks Evans up and tries to hit the Dragon Slayer, but Evans lands on his feet and hits the throwback on Malone, leaving both men on the mat.*
Russ: Impressive showing by this kid Evans Jerome.
East: Impressive my ass. This kid is getting lucky, plain and simple.
*Evans gets up and positions himslef behind Malone, who starts to get up. Malone stands up, dazed, as Evans goes to hit a clothesline. Malone ducks as Evans blasts the ref, knocking him down. Evans turns around and gets hit with the Irish Car Bomb from Malone. Malone tries pinning Evans, but the ref is still knocked out from the clothesline. Malone goes over to the ref and tries waking him up as Evans slowly gets to his feet. Evans goes to the outside, preparing for the 720 DDT, when Liam O'Neil comes out of the crowd and blast Evans across the head with the Hurley. Evans falls back into the arms of Malone, who hits him with the Dragon Slayer. Malone pins Evans as the ref slowly counts...
1....
2.....
3......!
Garcya: Here is your winner, SHANE! MALONE!
*"Amhrán na bhFiann" plays as the ref checks on Evans as Malone walks to the back with O'Neil. Evans gets up and looks right at Malone with fire in his eyes as Malone taunts the fact that he got the win.*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Aug 27, 2006 22:22:47 GMT -5
LILLIAN: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall!
*Play music: "What Means the World to You" - Camron, Ludacris, UGK & Trina*
LILLIAN: Entering first, from Los Angeles, CA...Sarah Sidall!
*Sarah Sidall enters the arena, as the fans cheer her on. As she enters the ring, her music stops playing, and she focuses her attention on the ramp. Shortly, the lights in the arena go out, and a spotlight focuses on the stage, where Italian rock metal group Lacuna Coil is standing. As Trance Awake plays over the PA system, the thirteen members of the Cold carry the large block of ice down to the stage. They walk down the ramp, and stop, all kneeling down. Ms. White enters, wearing her white robe and silver eye makeup, she stops on the stage and turns to the block of ice. As Lacuna Coil begins to play Senzafine, the block of ice slowly opens up, revealing the Ice Queen.*
Scorre lento il mio tempo Che scivola sul velo della mia pella nuda Se oltrepassassi il confine che mi hai dato Forse io non sarei qui
*Chrysta lifts her head slowly, looking into the audience with her trademark deadpan expression.*
Da adesso ormai che senso ha Cercare di abbracciare un passato pié puro *Chrysta walks off the platform that the block of ice was on, and steps onto the stage.* Guardando avanti rischierâ Ma riesco a rispondere ai miei perch©
Tutto cio che sarai Era gi stato scritto Se davvero esiste Questo dio ha fallito
*Chrysta raises her arm to Ms. White, staring at her with an emotionless look, yet a small bit of lust can be seen in her eyes. Ms. White walks up to Chrysta, grabbing her hand. Chrysta spins Ms. White into her, and she and Chrysta look into each other's eyes, and suddenly, after more than three months of separation, they kiss.*
Ogni parola pronunciata Sar lo specchio del tuo dolore Riflette la colpa Alimenta l'odio
Madre
*Chrysta and Ms. White slowly take their lips off one another, and White points out the match for tonight. Chrysta turns towards the ring, her hand slipping off of Ms. White's. As she walks down the ramp, the members of the Cold following behind her as she passes them, and Ms. White follows behind.*
Il mio destino scelgo Se riesco a resistere
Sono ancora in piedi in questo istante di pura follia Non so pié se desiderare il bene o il male Anche se il peccato forse pié mi da
Da adesso ormai che senso ha Opporre resistenza a un destino segnato Non resterâ a guardare senza Riuscire a resisterti Risvegliarmi
Madre
Il mio destino scelgo Se riesco a resistere
*As Chrysta stops in front of the ring, she stands still for a few seconds, and as Christina Scabbia's vocals start back up, she raises her arms, and a blue pyro ignites on each of the ringposts.*
Risvegliami
Non c'¨ scelta senza me Non c'¨ vita senza me
*Chrysta enters the ring, and soon the music stops. Chrysta stares at Sarah with no emotions, and Sarah is in the opposite corner, nervous about what's going to become of her. A good number of fans boo heavily at Chrysta, while the internet smarks yell out “HAIL THE ICE QUEEN!” Finally, the bell rings, and the match is underway. Sarah is able to get the first punch in, though, and punches Chrysta’s face several times, and finishes off with a roundhouse kick. Sarah runs to the ropes and bounces off, but gets cut short and falls to the canvas as Ms. White trips her from the outside. Sarah grabs her face in pain, as it hit the canvas first, and a small trickle of blood can be seen coming from her nose. Sarah ignores the blood and goes back to Chrysta, who’s already back on her feet and elbows Sarah’s midsection. Chrysta picks up Sarah and hits a backbreaker. Chrysta goes to pin.*
1!2!
*Sarah kicks out. Chrysta stomps on Sarah’s stomach a few times, then drags her to the edge of the apron, her neck placed right on the edge. Chrysta orders Ms. White to keep Sarah there, and gets outside the ring. With White holding Sarah down to the canvas, Chrysta runs across the apron, leaps up, and nails a guillotine legdrop to Sarah's throat. Chrysta gets off the floor, and grabs a Singapore cane from under the ring. She crawls back into the ring, as Sarah stands back up. Chrysta readies the cane, and as Sarah stands back up, Chrysta smacks her in the gut with the tip of the cane. Chrysta sneaks behind Sarah, tosses Ms. White the cane, and puts Sarah into the Full Nielson. White hands her the cane back, and Chrysta forces it down on Sarah's neck. Chrysta shoves Sarah down to the floor, and gives her another cane shot to the back. Chrysta turns Sarah over and goes to pin.*
1!2!
*Sarah kicks out. Ms. White looks in dismay, and Chrysta picks Sarah up off the canvas. Chrysta lifts Sarah up for a suplex, but Sarah is able to slide out and behind Chrysta, and hits her in the back with a dropkick, which causes Chrysta to fly out the ring. With Chrysta outside the ring, the Cold runs in front of her, while Ms. White tries to help Chrysta up. Ms. White looks towards the ring and pulls Chrysta away, as Sarah Sidall jumps over the ropes, jumps on the middle rope and nails an Asai Moonsault to the Cold. Sarah is quick to recover, though, and runs up the ramp after Ms. White, still carrying Chrysta. Chrysta gets off of White's shoulder and charges back towards Sarah, and the two of them start to throw fists at one another. Sarah is quick to block a punch and kicks Chrysta in the gut, and hits a T-Bone Suplex on Chrysta right onto the steel ramp! Sarah goes to pin.*
1!2!
*Ms. White scrambles and dives on top of Sarah, knocking her off the Ice Queen. The Cold stand back up on their feet as Ms. White grabs Sarah's hair and runs towards the ring, and Sarah goes flying on top of the Cold, who carry Sarah back into the ring. White helps Chrysta up off the ramp to her feet, and Chrysta heads back to the ring, slightly dazed. Chrysta slides back into the ring, and as she stands up, she’s met by a trash can to the head, courtesy of Sarah Sidall. Sarah runs to the ropes, and leaps off with a Lionsault into a legdrop, and goes to pin.*
1!2!
* Chrysta kicks out. Sarah picks her up and whips her into the ropes and bends over, possibly to hiptoss Chrysta onto the garbage can behind her, but Chrysta sees it and instead nails a running DDT to Sarah right on top of the can. Chrysta gets up, and yells at the Cold to get a steel chair. One of them does so, and places it in the corner, between the top and middle turnbuckles. Sarah, just getting up off the canvas, runs at Chrysta, but Chrysta sees her coming and picks her up into a tilt-a-whirl sidewalk slam. Chrysta picks Sarah up, but Sarah slaps Chrysta's hands away and shoves her into the ropes. Chrysta bounces off and back towards Sarah, and she kicks Chrysta in the gut, and tosses her into the corner, where Chrysta hits her back against the steel chair. Sarah looks ready to hit with Lita's DDT, but Ms. White comes from behind with a cane, and places it onto Sarah's neck, and hits with a Russian Legsweep. Ms. White heads over to Chrysta, helping her to her feet. As Chrysta hobbles aside the ropes, Ms. White orders the Cold to get into the ring. Five of them do so, one of them forcing Sarah's arms down as the other four climb to the top ropes. As they leap off, Sarah springs her legs up, wraps them around his throat, and hurracanranas him in front of her, making the Cold the new target, being crushed by the other members. With Sarah back on her feet, she clotheslines Ms. White outside the ring, grabs Chrysta, whips her into the ropes, and hits a running dropkick. Sarah drags Chrysta on top of a steel chair, and climbs the top rope. Sarah looks to hit a Swanton Bomb, but Chrysta rolls off the chair, and Sarah lands her back on the chair, hitting it hard. Chrysta hobbles to her feet as Sarah sits down and grabs her back, and decides this is the end. Chrysta shoves Sarah onto her stomach and pulls her upper torso back, and locks in the Frostbite! Sarah tries to crawl to the ring, but it’s no use. Chrysta has her dead set in the ring’s center, and she only has to options. One of them becomes evident when Sarah stops moving, and her arms are just moving like a ragdoll’s. The ref checks Sarah by raising her arm. It goes up once…
Nothing. Goes up a second time…
Nothing. Goes up a third time…
Nothing. The ref rings the bell, signaling that the match is over.*
LILLIAN: Here is your winner…CHRYSTA!
*Sarah is rolled out of the ring by the Cold, and Chrysta and Ms. White have their moment. Chrysta gets down on one knee and raises her arm to Ms. White, almost like the Undertaker. Ms. White can’t help but cry, excited that her love is finally back. Ms. White hugs Chrysta as she gets off her knee, and the two of them head out the ring, holding hands as they head to the back.*
*We cut back to ringside for the next match*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Aug 27, 2006 22:23:18 GMT -5
RA: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the EWT Tri-State Championship.
*The fans start cheering. They cheer even louder when "High Voltage" hits*
RA: Introducing the challenger, from Scranton, Pennsylvania, weighing in at 245 lbs., he is the Master of Elemental Disaster, MIKE RAGNAL!
*Mike appears on the stage and is all fired up. He hi-fives some fans, then rolls into the ring, climbs the turnbuckle, and makes a title gesture. "Sexy Guy" hits next*
RA: And his opponent, being accompanied by Sensational Cherry, from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, weighing in at 232 lbs., he is the longest-reigning Tri-State Champion in EWT history, the Heartbreak Hitman BRET MICHAELS!
*HBH walks out with Cherry by his side. The two are greeted with resounding boos, but HBH looks as confident as ever. They step into the ring and pose for while. Mike stares a hole into HBH the entire time. HBH then hands the title to the referee, who raises it high for everyone to see*
The bell rings to start the match as soon as Cherry leaves the ring. HBH and Mike immediately go at it, trading right hands. Mike quickly gets the advantage and unleashes a flurry of strikes to HBH, knocking him down with a chop. He knocks him down again with a right hand. He whips HBH to the ropes for a flapjack. HBH rolls out of the ring to try and catch his breath. But Mike stays on him, ramming him into the security rail. He then rams him into the side of the ring. Mike bangs HBH's head on the steel steps numerous times. Cherry tries to get involved, but Mike points at her and mouths off "Don't even think about it!" Mike rolls HBH back into the ring for a pin.
1... 2...
HBH kicks out. Mike picks him and rams him into the corner. He strikes again with punches and kicks. He whips HBH to the opposite corner. HBH avoids Mike's charge with a elbow to the head. He runs at him, but Mike catches him with a snap spinebuster. He follows up with a running senton splash and covers him again.
1... 2...
HBH again kicks out. Mike picks him up and hits a gutwrench suplex. He attempts a whip, but HBH reverses it. Cherry grabs Mike's leg from outside. Distracted, Mike gets hit with a spinning heel kick. HBH takes control with an inverted atomic drop followed by a tornado DDT. He picks up Mike and hits a slingshot suplex using the ropes. After landing a quick leg drop, he covers Mike.
1... 2...
Mike kicks out. HBH takes him to the corner and bangs his head on the turnbuckle numerous times. Next he pummels him continuously before stomping a mudhole in him. HBH runs at Mike with a knee to the head. HBH now has a smirk on his face.
HBH: Everyone take a look at your hero now!
The fans boo loudly while Cherry lets out a scream. HBH picks up Mike and performs a brainbuster. Then he does a reverse vertical suplex. He hits a standing moonsault to the back and attempts a pin.
1... 2...
Mike kicks out. HBH takes him down with a snapmare followed by a pullover neckbreaker. He then decides to work on the legs with a wishbone legsplitter. He hits some elbow drops and then some knee drops on Mike's right leg. HBH rolls out of the ring and drags Mike to the corner where he smashes that right leg against the ringpost a few times. He applies a figure four around the ringpost. The ref starts a 5 count. HBH breaks it after 4. He slides back in the ring and hits a backbreaker on Mike. HBH has a smile on his face and climbs to the second rope. He jumps off for a diving elbow, but Mike moves at the last second. The ref starts counting to 10.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
Both men are now up, though barely. HBH lands a punch on Mike, sending him back a bit. Mike comes back with right hand on HBH, knocking him backward. HBH gets another right hand on Mike. Mike gets another on HBH, and another, and another. He whips HBH to the ropes and hits a back body drop. HBH runs at him and gets hit with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. HBH again runs at him, but is knocked down with a dropkick. HBH attempts a swing at Mike, but Mike ducks and hits a tiger suplex for a pin.
1... 2...
HBH kicks out. Mike picks him up and performs a snap suplex. He picks him up again and attempts a whip, but HBH delivers a kick to the stomach followed by a Russian leg sweep. He climbs the ropes and hits an elbow drop. He goes for a cover.
1... 2...
Mike gets a shoulder up. HBH sets up for some Sweet Chin Muzak. He goes for it, but Mike catches the leg. HBH then decides to go for an enziguri, but Mike ducks it and drop toe holds HBH into the bottom rope. He steps out onto the apron and hits a guillotine leg drop. He then springs himself back in the ring for a rolling clutch pin, but HBH rolls out of it, pulls Mike into the center, and locks in the Sharpshooter. Fans are now on their feet and all pulling for Mike. Mike is still feeling pain from his right leg being attacked earlier, but fights it to reach the ropes. Crawling bit by bit like there's no tomorrow, Mike makes it there a few moments later. HBH refuses to release the hold, so the ref starts another 5 count. HBH breaks it at 4 3/4. He drags Mike back into the center and stomps him a few times. Then he picks him up when Mike surprises him with a small package!
1... 2...
HBH kicks out. He gets up and goes for a right hand, but Mike blocks it and hits some right hands on HBH. He runs to the ropes with a noticeable limp. HBH takes him down with Sweet Chin Muzak, but doesn't get all of it and falls down as well. HBH crawls over to Mike and covers him.
1...
2...
Mike kicks out! Getting frustrated, HBH tells Cherry to get the Tri-State title. She slides it into the ring. HBH picks it up and waits for the opportunity. Mike gets back to his feet. He turns around and see HBH running at him with the title. Mike avoids getting hit and hits the RAGNALROK! RAGNALROK ON HBH! Fans are cheering loudly. Mike goes for a pin, but the ref isn't counting because he's distracted by Cherry. Mike gets up, walks over to Cherry, and...
KISSES CHERRY! He plants one on the lips. Cherry pushes him off and gets off the apron, looking disgusted. Mike is amused by this, but then HBH rolls him up for a pin and uses the ropes for leverage.
1...
2...
3! *bell rings and fans are booing very loudly*
*But wait! The ref notices that HBH's feet are on the ropes!*
RA: Here is your winner, and STILL---
*The ref stops the ring announcer and tells him something*
RA: Ladies and gentlemen, I have just been informed that this match will continue!
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Aug 27, 2006 22:23:45 GMT -5
The fans like that idea and cheer loudly. HBH meanwhile is pissed and argues with the ref. He then turns his attention to Mike, who is just getting back up. HBH knocks him down with a hard clothesline and stomps him numerous times. He then sets up for Sweet Chin Muzak. He goes for it, but Mike moves out of the way and hits a belly to belly suplex. Next he hits a Shining Wizard followed by a gutwrench DDT. Now fired up, Mike climbs the ropes. He jumps off and hits the HIGH VOLTAGE! He goes for the cover!
1...
2...
3! *bell rings*
RA: Here is your winner and the NEW EWT Tri-State Champion, MIKE RAGNAL!
*This crowd has exploded now that Mike has won the title. Cherry gets HBH and rolls him out of the ring. The ref raises Mike's arm in victory and awards him the title. Mike's siblings, Joe and Linda, run out to the ring to celebrate with him. Mike raises the title up high as fans chant "RAGNAL!" He rolls out of the ring and hi-fives fans before heading backstage with Joe and Linda*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Aug 27, 2006 22:25:08 GMT -5
Announcer: The following contest is the Detention Match! Here are the rules, the match will take place under tornado tag rules, meaning that there will be no tags that have to be made. In this match, there are no rules... no disqualifications.... ho holds barred... no mercy. In order to win this match, a member of the team must first pin one of their opponents, after successfully doing this, they must next make one of their opponents submit. Finally, after having doing both these things, the teams must be able to incapacitate one of their opponents... and throw them into the back of this school bus... as well as being able to close the door. After one team has successfully done these things... they will be declared the winners of this match!
Pomp and Circumstance Starts up as first heads to the ring the first team.
Announcer: Introducing first, representing the PTA, first weighing in at 260 Pounds, from Washington DC... he is Eddie Omega!!! Introducing next, from Dover Delaware, weighing in at 235 pounds... Principal Pain!!!
Pain and Omega get many angry boos from the crowd as they head down to the ring. Omega flips off a guy in the front row as Pain simply ignores them. They hop onto the ring apron, entering the ring and looking quite prepared for this match.
PREPARE TO BE INFECTED!!!
The crowd gives a nice pop as Heaven's a Lie starts up, their opponents emerge from the backstage area... the two big men looking at each other and nodding, before heading down towards the ring.
Announcer: And introducing the opponents, first, from Moscow Russia, weighing in at 515 pounds, The Canceler! Introducing next, from Parts Unknown, weighing in at 310 pounds... Virus!!!
Canceler looks at the Familiar Black School Bus and smacks the front of the door, as he looks at the two in the ring. The two enter the ring as Pain and Omega back up a bit. As soon as the bell sounds, both Virus and Canceler charge forward, taking Pain and Omega down with a pair of clotheslines. Pain quickly rolls to his feet, only to be taken over the top rope by Virus with a huge boot to the face. Meanwhile, as Omega gets back up, Canceler nails him with a double axe handle across the back, sending him hunched over. Canceler immediately follows up with some quick clubs to the back, stopping Omega's attempts to try and get back to a normal position. Virus on the outside is now leveling Pain with some powerful fists, sending the principal reeling back with each one. Virus then charges as he dazed, only for Pain to quickly sidestep, Virus stopping himself right in front of the steel steps. Pain takes advantage almost immediately, nailing a nasty kick to the back the spine, then grabbing and slamming Virus's skull right into the steps with a Stroke! Virus groans, laying face down on the steps as Pain lifts his boot, stomping right across the back of his skull, pushing his face into the steel each time.
Omega is still in the ring with Canceler, who whips him off the ropes now. Omega comes running back, Canceler grabbing him in Mid Run... lifting him up high and bringing him down for a one armed high angle backbreaker, driving Omega's body right into his knee. Eddie gasps in pain, falling to the mat and clutching his back as Canceler looks to the crowd, running off the ropes himself, going a running falling headbutt. Omega however instinctively rolls out of the way. Canceler groans as Omega rolls over, immediately locking on a grounded side headlock, torquing and wrenching at the side of the big man's neck. Omega smirks, looking quite pleased as he continues to apply the hold.
Pain meanwhile continues to punish Virus, lifting him up now, only to slam him skull first once again right into the steel steps! The crowd boos as Pain shoves Virus down, propping him up against said steps. He then nails a quick kick to the gut, before backing up a bit, charging forward and going right for a running dropkick, nailing it and driving Virus's back right into those steps. The man known as Virus visibly grimaces as Pain now proceeds to unleash a few well aimed knife edge chops, right across Virus's throat.
Omega continues to try and apply that side headlock, but the bigger man Canceler proves to be a bit more... well, durable I guess. He quickly rolls through, Omega now on the other side, the hold loosened up a bit. Canceler then rises up to his feet, hoisting Omega up as he keeps the submission on, dropping him with a sidewalk slam to the mat! Omega goes down, breaking the headlock obviously as Canceler lifts him up, going behind and locking in and sending Omega flying across the ring with a pumphandle suplex! Omega lands right on his back again, gripping the area as Canceler walks over... going for a cover. 1....2....
Omega kicks out. Canceler sighs, sitting Omega back up and clinching on a Buffalo Sleeper submission, while at the same time, driving a knee right into Omega'a spine. The frat boy groans quickly trying to nail a few stiff elbows with his free arm, cracking them right into Canceler's skull. The big man groans, hoisting Omega up to his feet and looking for a Reverse DDT. But Omega, showing off his amazing athleticism, maneuvers himself over and behind Canceler, nailing a BLATANT low blow kick, dropping Canceler to both knees, clutching his privates. Omega then runs off the ropes, nailing a nasty Lariat from behind, dropping Canceler face first into the mat. Omega then climbs atop, clinching on and applying a Camel Clutch.
Pain steps back from a still dazed Virus, looking quite pleased with his handiwork. H leans forward, taunting Virus, only for Virus to muster enough strength to give him a stinging smack across the cheek. Pain steps back a bit, holding his cheek and looking pissed as Virus slowly rises up. He immediately grabs Pain around the waist, launching him right into the audience with an overhead belly to belly! Pain lands hard on the floor, groaning in pain as Virus climbs atop the barricade, looking at the crowd, who pops. He plays to them a bit, as Pain gets to his feet, Virus then showing off his own athleticism and big man speed, coming down for a jumping Scissors Kick right across the skull of Pain, dropping him again!The crowd pops as Virus lifts Pain up, setting him up for a Reverse Suplex... only to drop him back first across the barricade. Pain gasps, rolling off of it and to the ground. Virus smirks, very pleased now.
Meanwhile, Omega continues to apply that Camel Clutch, trying to do further damage to that neck of Canceler. But he doesn't get much more chance as Virus slides in from behind, yanking Omega off by the legs!. Eddie looks a bit surprised, turning around and seeing Virus. The big man immediately nails a quick karate punch right to the chest, Omega grasping the area now. Virus looks at Canceler, walking over and helping him to his feet, the big man rubbing his neck a bit.Eddie quickly gets to his feet, big mistake. Canceler and Virus immediately grab him, Virus whipping him off the ropes, running after him as Canceler stands still, catching him in a Spinebuster and swinging around, just in time for Virus to nail a flying clothesline right across Omega's neck! Canceler then follows up, slamming him down and completing the Spine Buster. Omega lays on the mat, clutching his back, as Canceler lifts Virus up high, tossing him down with a military press, crushing Omega with a huge splash. Eddie groans, clutching his ribs and rolling around on the mat, Canceler helps Virus up now, repaying the favor.
Pain is back in from behind, BLASTING Virus right across the back of the head with a nasty chair shot! The crowd boos as Pain looks over, following up with an equally nasty shot right to the skull of Canceler, who goes down on all fours. Pain however puts him down flat with a second Chair shot... dropping both men face first into the mat. The crowd boos, as Pain holds up the chair, looking quite pleased.He looks to Omega, who is back up again, barking orders, Eddie nodding and lifting Canceler up off the mat. Pain smirks, clutching the chair and driving it right into the throat of the big man, Canceler gasping, clutching the area now. Pain goes up behind him, after tossing the chair to Omega. The frat boy stands it up in the ring, watching Virus rise up, clutching the back of his head. As soon as he does, Omega grabs him, hoisting him up high and POWERBOMBING him right into the damn steel chair! The force of the move is enough to refold the chair, Virus looking to be in absolute agony, clutching his spine.
Pain meanwhile grabs Canceler, setting him up and applying a Dragon Sleeper, as Omega walks over, adding further abuse to the move by delivering vicious overhand chops right across the throat... softening the area up further. Canceler groans as Pain wrenches back at the neck, trying to put the big man out.of commission completely. The crowd boos, now firing up and chanting for Canceler and Virus, who are both at the mercy of the remnants of the PTA. Pain looks at Omega, as he now switches to a reverse DDT position, Omega lifting his leg up high, bringing it down for a down right vicious axe kick right across the throat. Canceler literally has tears of pain in his eyes as he struggles not to submit to this... mugging.
Virus is slowly getting back to his feet, having recovered from that Powerbomb now, though still feeling a few effects. He looks absolutely pissed, stalking Pain and running off the ropes, driving his foot into the back of his skull with a Yakuza kick, Pain breaking the hold on Canceler, now flat down on the mat once again. Omega turns around and charges, only for Virus to catch him with a Savate Kick right to the jaw, Omega stumbling back now, as Virus looks at the big man, giving him balance... while he unleashes that axe kick of his own, Omega groans in pain, clutching the back of his neck as Canceler picks up the chair in the ring, tossing it clear across the entrance ramp way, the thing literally bouncing right off the top of the bus and onto the steel below. Pain hoists Omega up now, signaling for the end, as he hoists him onto his shoulders, looking for the Quarter Ton Bomb. He climbs over onto the turnbuckle, about to fall off, when suddenly Pain springs up with a rush of pure adrenaline, nailing a dropkick right across Canceler's skull! Canceler loses balance a bit, trying to recover as Pain as back down on the mat. Virus looks at him, hoisting him up by the feet and bringing him down across the knee for a backbreaker! He turns him around, drops him stomach first into the same knee, then lifts him up one more time, tossing him with an Exploder, Pain sailing across the mat! The crowd pops as Virus watches Canceler again, who has now recovered. Unfortunately, so has Omega. He hops up onto the top turnbuckle, giving a stiff knee to Canceler's face, then leaping off, lifting the 515 pound giant... and nailing a ROLLING POWERBOMB... planting Canceler right into the mat with a earth shattering thud. The crowd starts up a Holy S*** chant almost immediately as Omega takes a bit of a breather, before stepping right up to Virus, immediately clocking him with a right punch. Virus steps back, countering with his own. The two immediately get into a vicious fist fight, Pain now slowly getting to his feet again. He sees Virus and Omega, quickly sprinting forward and nailing a jumping knee to the back of Virus's skull, once again turning the tide in this match. Virus slumps down a bit as Omega grabs him by the side of the head, driving a series of quick knees of his own into Virus's skull.
The crowd boos as Pain signals to Omega again... who shoves Virus down, onto his back. Pain then climbs up onto the turnbuckle, Omega getting behind and grabbing him in a waist lock, positioning himself and launching Pain high into the air... with a Spider German into a MOONSAULT! Pain crashes down on Virus, who looks pretty shocked at what may have just been a first. Pain then looks to Eddie, blatantly holding Virus down by the legs as the college boy sets himself, leaping off with a with a reverse elbow drop, getting some huge air!
But Virus manages to roll out of the way this time, Omega getting absolutely nothing, landing hard on his back, clutching the area again. Meanwhile, Canceler has gotten up, having freed Virus and now assaulting Pain with some stiff forearms right to the skull. The principal slowly slowly staggers back, now up against the ropes. Canceler then backs up, charging forwards and going for a big boot, only for Pain to duck it, clutching the ropes so the 515 pounder goes running right over the ropes, tumbling down to the mat again! The crowd boos again as Pain slowly gets back up, resting against the ropes now. Virus has meanwhile mounted Omega and is brutally blasting him with a series of quick punches, busting him open the hard way in the process. Omega groans, forehead bleeding as Pain tries to sneak up on Virus, only to get blasted with a reverse elbow. Pain stumbles back, as Virus gets up off Omega, grabbing Pain and kicking him in the gut, hoisting him up high and dropping him with the Infection! Pain bounces off the mat as Virus keeps him held for the cover. 1....2....
Omega manages to roll over and lift Pain's shoulder off the mat manually. The crowd boos again as Virus gets to his feet, crossing his throat and hoisting Omega up high, applying a wheelbarrow and applying a Camel Clutch... this is what he calls the Quarantine! Omega screams in agony, as his back is further aggravated by the hold. He struggles to hold on, but to no avail as Virus has the submission locked on tight. And eventually, Omega gives up.
Almost immediately the Toomitron lights up, the screen now showing an S in one column, while the other is completely blank. Guess this is to help keep score.
Announcer: Eddie Omega has submitted!
The crowd cheers as Virus drops Omega, clutching his own neck a bit.He takes a bit of a breather as Canceler can be seen once again rising up. Pain gets to his feet slowly, still feeling the effects of that Infection. He immediately grabs a dazed Virus though, assaulting him with a series of quick European Uppercuts, Virus fighting back, countering each one with another of his own. The two refuse to relent, blasting each other with uppercut after uppercut, as the crowd cheers. Canceler soon returns to the ring again, Omega trying to make his way up as well. However, Canceler stops him quickly, running over and delivering a bit of a running stomp across the back, dropping Omega flat again, clutching the area once more. Canceler turns his attention to Pain and Virus, walking over and grabbing Pain by the throat, lifting him up and holding him steady. Pain gasps, struggling to escape as Virus smirks, ascending the turnbuckle and leaping off, hitting Pain in mid lift with a Missile Dropkick. Canceler immediately drops the principal as the two big men are taking control. Once again, Virus is lifted to his feet... in an atomic drop like move, feet sticking out front as Canceler runs right at a rising Omega, driving the air out of him with Virus's feet, Omega dropping to his knees again. The two men grab a downed Omega again, setting him up for a double vertical suplex. Pain however blocks it, pushing Omega back, watching him land on his feet. Pain then immediately grabs both big men for a Russian Leg Sweep, as Omega charges forward... hitting at the same time a two man STO! Virus and Canceler groan, downed by this double team move as Omega and Pain are back up. Pain instructs Omega again... who looks at him, sliding out of the ring and following orders. The crowd watches as now... a LADDER is being introduced to the match. Omega slides it in, rolling back into the ring, clutching his back again as he rises. Omega looks to Omega again, who opens up the ladder, sandwiching Virus's body between it now. Omega then ascends to the top again...positioning himself and leaping off with a double stomp, CLOSING the ladder hard right around Virus's body! Omega groans, clutching his legs a bit, as he hops off the ladder after landing. Virus may have suffered some broken ribs here.
The crowd roars with anger, absolutely pissed as they start chanting F*** the PTA!!! F*** the PTA!!! Omega and Pain ignore this as well. They open up the ladder again, putting on it's side now, Virus still trapped in it, then both men take a side and jam it shut, doing further damage to Virus, who looks to be in severe pain right now. They pull Virus free of the ladder, only to hoist him up to his feet now. Pain smirks, nodding to Omega who walks up, wrapping his arms around and applying a bearhug now, Virus screaming in pain as the PTA continues to focus their assault on his chest area. Like Omega did, Virus struggles to hold on, refusing to tap. The PTA continues viciously applying the hold, as Pain now nails a Roundhouse kick clocking Virus right in the face, putting him in further pain.Virus grimaces and reluctantly, he gives. Virus submits as well, tying up the score... giving the PTA team an S on the Toomitron as well.
Announcer: Virus has submitted!
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Aug 27, 2006 22:25:30 GMT -5
Omega tosses Virus down as he cockily goes for a one footed cover. 1.....2.....
CANCELER DRIVES THE LADDER RIGHT INTO THE SPINE OF OMEGA! Immediately Omega drops the ground, grasping at his back in pure suffering pain. The big man growls, now taking the ladder and with relative ease, driving it right into the chest of Pain, who now drops to his knees, clutching his chest. Canceler tosses the ladder away without effort, hoisting Pain up again, whipping him off the ropes, tossing him up and catching him with a Cutter in midair, Pain grasping his neck, rolling around the mat clutching it. The seven foot behemoth walks back over to Omega, yanking him up by the throat and charging forward, dropping him head first across the top turnbuckle. Omega groans, as Canceler lifts him up high, setting him up atop the turnbuckle now. He pummels him with a few quick shots... before grabbing the ladder again and setting up. He signals to Virus... who manages to get to his feet, grabbing at his ribs. He sees the ladder and grins, Omega still prone. Canceler grabs Virus by the arm, whipping him forward full speed, as Virus runs right up the ladder, leaping off and taking Omega right off the turnbuckle to the floor below with a flying clothesline, himself landing hard. The crowd cheers, starting up a chant. " Holy S***!!! Holy S***!!!
Pain slowly struggles to his feet, Canceler still distracted. He gets up now... charging forward and clipping him in the knee with a running dropkick to the ankle! Canceler acks, going down on one knee, clutching it slightly as Pain follows up with a nasty kick right to the back of the skull, dropping Canceler completely. Pain grasps his foot, which stings just from the force of that kick of his. He walks over, dragging the ladder again and placing Canceler's ankle atop of it. He then lifts it up as high he can, ramming it right into the steel! Canceler yelps in pain, as Pain smirks, lifting it up, slamming it again! He then follows up a third time... finally switching to an ankle lock. The crowd boos as Pain grinds and yanks at the ankle of Canceler, trying to tear the thing clean off his foot! The crowd boos angrily as Pain now drops down, locking on a grapevine, completely trapping Canceler, leg still atop the ladder. The crowd boos as Virus starts to get back up from that sick move earlier. He takes a big breath, rolling back into the ring again. Virus then walks over, pulling Pain off of Canceler. Virus hoists him up again, grabbing Pain by the back of the neck, simply throwing him down face first into the ladder. Pain groans, clutching his face again. However, the damage has certainly been done. Canceler grasps at his ankle, which may have been snapped into by Pain's efforts.
Omega gets back to his feet again, shaking off the effects of that clothesline by Virus as he grasps once again at the back. Virus looks to the outside, grabbing the ladder, pulling it from under Pain's face, then looking to the crowd and taking a page out of RVD's book, Monkey Flipping the ladder right at Omega! Eddie acks, quickly running out of the way as the ladder almost bounces into the crowd, now resting against the barricade. Omega doesn't look amused, hopping up onto the apron and yelling at Virus Virus turns around, charging, only to watch Omega leap off at the last second, grabbing Virus on the way for a jawbreaker across the ropes. Virus groans, stumbling back and grabbing the neck. Omega then reaches up under the ring, pulling something out and looking into the ring with a sick smirk. It's Pain's Textbook! We haven't seen that used in awhile! Omega slides in the ring stealthily, scouting and eying Virus, charging full speed at him, diving and intending to bust his skull wide open! Canceler however, manages to pull Virus out of the way, Omega instead clocking a rising Pain!
Pain's head starts leaking blood like a faucet as he clutches it, falling down, now seated on the mat. Omega looks over, just in time to see what he has done! He holds his hands over his head. He quickly slides the book out of the ring, turning around. Canceler immediately grabs him for a vertical suplex as Virus nods, climbing up to the top turnbuckle, as they hit Omega with that double team move of theirs, known as Hitting the Books! Omega goes down once again... clutching his back once more as Virus goes for a cover. 1....2....
NO! Omega manages to get the shoulder up. Virus can't believe it... but simply shrugs, walking over and grabbing Pain, shoving him into Canceler's arms. The big man hoists him up onto his shoulders, limping a bit As he ascends the turnbuckle.Virus drags a prone Pain over close as he nods, Canceler then falling off, as the two take a page of the PTA book with their version of the seldom used Total Failure. Pain yelps in pain as Omega groans, his principal laying atop. Canceler and Virus then go for the following one... two footed pin.
1.....2.....
3!!! Canceler and Virus are ahead! A P appears next to their S on the Toomitron as Canceler and Virus take a well deserved breather. They eye the bus atop the rampway... looking ready to end this match. The two men hoist up Pain and Omega... stepping out over the top ropes and towards the bus. They head up the rampway, depositing both men onto the ground as they fiddle with the bus doors, trying to jimmy them open. Eventually, Canceler and Virus manage to do so, reaching over and grabbing Pain.. but he has something... a pair of erasers! He claps them together, blinding both Canceler and Virus with chalk dust... the same damn tactic they have tried so many times on Generation Tech, now being used once again.Omega and Pain get up, stepping back from their blinded opponents. Omega gets on all fours as Pain runs up, jumping off his back and delivering a jumping kick right to the side of Canceler's skull! This kick sends him stumbling towards the edge of the rampway... now teetering. Pain grabs Virus and drives his skull into the PTA Bus behind them, Virus groaning in pain, as Pain repeatedly drives it. Meanwhile Omega charges and takes himself AND Canceler off the ramp with a Running STO! The two go flying, crashing hard onto the ground below!
Once again, the crowd starts up the Holy S*** chant as Omega goes to make the cover. 1.....2....
3!!!!
And just like last time, the two teams have made sure nobody stays ahead for too long. The Toomitron lights up again with both teams having the P and S... all that remains is the K.
Canceler lays flat on the floor, still suffering the effects of that STO. Omega was luckily cushioned by the big man, suffering far less damage. He climbs back up to the top of the ramp, Omega immediately starts assaulting Virus as well with Pain as they double team again. However, this time, Virus fights back, mustering all the strength he can, exchanging fists with the pair, desperately trying to win this match as they are. Eventually, with a surge of adrenaline, Virus starts fighting both PTA members off, showing off his power and speed. He then hits Pain with a stiff boot, sending him flying off the ramp and onto Canceler below! The big man takes advantage, locking in a Rear Naked Choke on Omega... Eddie gasping in pain as he feels the life wrenched out of him. Virus meanwhile whiles over, grabbing that chair Canceler threw out, picking it up and looking to the crowd. He sets it down, hoisting Pain up... then dropping him with an Implant DDT, face first into the chair! Pain's skull ricochets right off of the steel, dropping hard as he groans in pain. Virus feels the effects too, having landed on the steel, but fights off the pain, getting to his feet for a nice pop. He looks at the bus again, door still open as he thinks for a bit... at first lifting Pain up and about to throw him into the back... but deciding against it. Instead he hops down off the rampway, walking over and finding... no way. He grabbing some tables! He grabs about of three of them, walking over and tossing them onto the stage. He looks to Canceler, who throws a pretty much out of it Omega aside, slowly rising to his feet. Virus intersects em, as he himself stacks all three tables atop each other, grabbing the chair again and cracking against Pain's bloody skull for good measure, then throwing it off stage, clocking Omega as well. Virus then looks at the crowd and...sets Pain atop the tables!
Canceler returns.... with the ladder from earlier. Virus grins, climbing atop of it and ascending the bus... getting a huge pop from the crowd. He then looks down at Canceler again... who grabs the ladder... and tosses it right atop the bus! Virus sets it up atop the bus as well, climbing up to the top rung, standing atop as the ladder manages to stay balanced... at least for now. Then Virus gives a signal... leaping off top the ladder and towards Pain atop the tables below!!! Not with a splash... not with a moonsault... but a F***** SHOOTING STAR PRESS!!!
Virus crashes through Pain... and all three tables, the crowd chanting " HOLY F***!!! HOLY F***!!! They follow up with a " Please Don't Die!!! Please Don't Die!!! " Virus lays a bloody mess, splinters in his and Pain's body as he himself looks amazed he pulled that off.Canceler looks down at Pain... who may as well be dead, motionless. Canceler opens the bus door... hoisting Pain up and rolling him inside.
And with that... the bell sounds.This violent brutal affair is over... and perhaps so is the PTA.
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlesmen... the winners of the Detention Match... Virus and The Canceler!!!
Canceler reaches down, lifting up Virus by the arm and holding him up in victory as the crowd gives him a huge pop, Virus looking very pleased. He is barely able to stand... as he and Virus head backstage. Pain meanwhile manages to awaken, weakly pushing the door open. He looks on as Omega is standing behind the door now, reaching out to offer him out of the boss. The crowd boos as Pain accepts his help, Omega pulling him out of the bus floor... looking to the crowd... and launching his mentor off the rampway, for the Omega Psi Slamma!!! The crowd pops again as Pain lands hard on his back, clutching it in agony. The crowd starts up another chant. " Thank You Omega!!! Thank you Omega!!! " Omega however doesn't really care about the chants... instead grabbing the announcer's microphone, who just happens to be standing nearby.
Omega: Pain... I've had enough of you. I've had enough of your demands... enough of your discipline... and enough of the PTA. So let it be known that Eddie Omega... is once again going SOLO!!!
Pain looks up in pure disbelief now, holding his hands over his face in shame as Omega exits the entrance ramp to his theme of Remedy. Pain just watches, in intense pain... now completely unable to stand. Finally... his uppance has come
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Aug 27, 2006 22:25:50 GMT -5
* We cut backstage to Toom E Dangerously with Sum Guy.*
SG: Hi, I’m Sum Guy & only I can prevent forest fires because Smokey the Bear told me so himself. Now, Mr. Dangerously, can I ask you something?
TED: Why do I even still have you on the payroll?
SG: Because I married your sister.
TED: I don’t have a sister.
SG: Then who’s that large woman I go home to every night?
TED: Just shut up! Get out of here.
* Toom E shoves Sum Guy out of frame but takes the microphone.*
TED: Now, it is known that I have not been around as much & I am sorry. You see, that is about to change from now on. Not only will I be around more often, but things are going to change…and first things first, things are going to change with the championships. For starters, HeartBreak Hitman Brett Micheals is my kind of champion. I am proud to have him represent EWT & the Tri-State Championship. He is, in fact, the best damn champion to ever hold that title. But Spaz, Spaz my friend, you are unworthy of that belt you wear. Don’t worry, I’m not going to pull a Montreal this evening. I promise I won’t be at ringside at all. Let’s just say that after today Spaz, your days as EWT Heavyweight Champion are numbered. Because I have a little something in store for you if you win tonight. And if Gasoline wins…well, I can very easily rearrange my plans to include you Mr. Gasoline. Do I make myself clear?
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Aug 27, 2006 22:26:21 GMT -5
* Cut back to ringside as the mat has been removed, exposing the plywood. Barbed wire criss crosses across the plywood. The ropes have been removed & replaced by barbwire as well. *
Announcer: This next contest is scheduled for one fall & is to determine the number one contender to the EWT Toolshed Championship. Making his way to the ring first is the man they call the Great Hugo.
* Hugo makes his way to the ring & climbs on the apron. He admires the barbed wire, pondering how to get in the ring with the ropes missing. He looks around as the ring announcer gets ready again.*
Announcer: And his opponent…here is Chance Confidence.
* Chance makes his way to the ring & as he gets close to it, Hugo leaps off the apron & nails a Lou Thesz Press to the outside. Hugo starts throwing punches on Chance as the bell rings. Hugo gets to his feet & grabs Chance & runs with him, throwing him into the ring post. Hugo lifts up Chance & bodyslams him on the outside. Hugo then lifts up Chance & sets Chance up for a Samoan Drop. Chance somehow manages to reverse it & flips Hugo into a DDT. Chance gets to his feet & grabs Hugo, throwing him towards the barricade. Chance reaches into the crowd & grabs a steel chair from ringside. Chance heads onto the ring apron & leaps off the apron, smashing the chair into Hugo’s head. Chance gets back to the apron & starts swinging the chair at the barbed wire. After a few swings, Chance manages to make an opening perfect enough to climb back into the ring. Chance lifts up Hugo & throws him into the ring. Chance climbs into the ring & grabs Hugo, nailing a German Suplex on him. Chance looks around & spots the barbed wire strewn on the plywood, so he lifts up Hugo again & hits a Fall Away Slam, sending Hugo landing on the barbed wire. Hugo screams in pain as Chance nails a standing moonsault on Hugo. Chance goes for a cover as Hugo manages to get his arm up.*
* Chance grabs Hugo by the hair & pulls him up. Hugo lands a knee to the midsection. Hugo grabs Chance & throws him into the corner. Hugo lands a dropkick that sends Chance back into the corner. As Chance staggers forward, Hugo catches him & hits a powerslam onto the barbed wire. Hugo grabs the steel chair that Chance used & nails him in the head with it. Hugo spies the broken barbed wire & grabs it, wrapping it around the steel chair. As Chance starts getting to his knees, he’s busted open by a barbed wire chair shot. Hugo lifts up Chance & throws him into the barbed wire rope. Chance gets tangled in it, screaming in pain. Hugo charges at him & nails a shoulderblock that sends both men reeling to the ringside area & breaking the barbed wire. The barbed wire also stays wrapped around Chance’s arm. Hugo staggers to his feet, where he grabs Chance & tosses him on the Quebec Announce Table. Hugo starts looking around & reaches under the ring, where he grabs a ladder. Hugo drags the ladder out & sets it up. Hugo climbs to the top of the ladder & leaps off. Chance manages to roll out of the way, as Hugo crashes through the table.*
* Chance gets to his feet & looks down at Hugo. Chance looks at his bloody arm with the barbed wire & gets on the apron. Chance leaps off the apron & crashes down on Hugo with his barbed wire elbow. Chance goes for a pin, but Hugo manages a shoulder up…barely. Chance gets to his feet & starts to untangle the barbed wire. Chance then grabs Hugo & hits a belly-to-belly suplex. Chance grabs Hugo by the hair & hits a Hurricanarama on him into the ladder. Chance gets to his feet looks around, as blood is dripping from his face as well as his arm. Chance lifts up Hugo, but Hugo manages a punch to Chance. The punch brings more blood. Hugo punches several times when he stops & something falls from his blood laced hand…brass knuckles. Hugo lifts up Chance & nails a Military Press Slam onto the South African Announce Table. The table collapses under the weight, as Hugo goes for a cover. Chance gets a shoulder up. Hugo gets back to his feet, where he throws Chance into the barricade. As Hugo charges at Chance, Chance ducks down & backflips Hugo into the crowd. Chance climbs into the crowd, where he starts to yell. A woman reaches into her purse & hands Chance something. Chance smiles & takes the cap off & sprays the contents into the face of Hugo. Hugo starts screaming in pain as he’s blinded by mace. Chance then grabs a nightstick from a nearby police officer & starts beating Hugo with it. One hit is hard enough to break the nightstick. Chance uses the broken end & starts smashing it into the blinded Hugo’s head, busting him open. Chance uses an armdrag & sends Hugo over the barricade. Chance climbs over the barricade & grabs Hugo again, where he nails a Confidence Breaker. Chance goes for a pin as Hugo barely gets his shoulder up by three. *
* Frustrated, Chance looks up at the ladder. Chance starts to climb the ladder & he reaches the halfway mark when the ladder goes down. Hugo had managed enough strength to kick the ladder over. Hugo gets to his feet & grabs Chance. Hugo is able to get Chance up & hits a Samoan Drop. Hugo goes for a cover, but Chance gets his shoulder up. Hugo grabs Chance & throws him back into the ring. Hugo climbs back into the ring. Hugo grabs Chance & starts mashing his face into the barbed wire on the plywood, causing more blood. Hugo gets to his feet & grabs Chance, setting him up in a Ligerbomb. Hugo starts running & nails Chance in the center of the ring with a Running Ligerbomb. Hugo goes for a pin as Chance barely gets his arm up. Hugo grabs Chance again, but Chance manages an escape. Chance & Hugo start throwing punches, each punch causing both men to lose more blood. Chance hits a midsection knee & scoops Hugo in between his legs, nailing another Confidence Breaker…only, this time both men are by the apron & Hugo goes crashing down onto the ringside area with Chance on top of him. The referee counts 1-2-3, as Chance is declared the victor. *
* A bloody Chance gets to his feet as blood is oozing from his head, as well as his arm & the referee raises his hand in victory outside the ring as we cut backstage to Toom E Dangerously.*
TED: At this point of the showcase, we would have been seeing the EWT Tag Team Championship. But due to a contract renewal dispute of a certain party, I am sorry to say terms have not been met. Therefore, there will NOT be a tag team championship match tonight. The match will take place at a further date when all contracts have been agreed upon.
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Aug 27, 2006 22:26:48 GMT -5
.:. EWT cameras fade in as "Showtime" hits. JCJ crawls out on stage, unorthodox as always, sporting his new attire with Shannon Moore-like face paint. Kitty Midnight walks out behind him and they stop, Kitty Midnight standing over JCJ. JCJ hops up out from between her legs and runs the rest of the way, sliding into the ring. Kitty Midnight finishes her walk down to the ring, stepping off to the side. "Headstrong" hits as Ox-Division Champion Koda Kazar walks out to a chorus of cheers. Koda continues down to the ring, and as he steps in and removes his title belt, EWT cameras fade to a promo of the events leading up to this match-up between former friends. The cameras cut back right as both men lock up, center of the ring. .:. .:. Koda forces JCJ back into the turnbuckle and offers a clean break. JCJ answers with a slap straight to Koda's face. Koda freezes, letting it sink in. JCJ shrugs, and goes to work with a kick to Koda's mid-section. JCJ lights Koda up with a few chops across the ring, and the champion answers with thunderous chops of his own, backing JCJ back into the turnbuckle. JCJ goes for a right hand, which is ducked, then a left; Also ducked. Koda slaps JCJ much like JCJ did before. JCJ, in a rage, shoves Koda forcefully across the ring, Koda rolling up to his feet. Both men stop as the crowd cheers for the standoff. .:. .:. JCJ ends the standoff with a charge, but Koda ducks and spins, clocking JCJ with a spin kick to the stomach. JCJ bends over holding his stomach, turning to face the ropes. Koda jumps onto the ropes, attempting a Styling DDT. JCJ arm wrenches out of it however, and hits a snap Russian Leg Sweep! JCJ kips up, taunting Koda. JCJ drops back and hits the ropes, only to be monkey flipped by Koda! Koda kips up this time as JCJ gets up to his knees, another standoff! .:. .:. JCJ jumps up to his feet and the two instantly lock up. JCJ applies a headlock, but Koda shoots JCJ off into the ropes. Koda meets JCJ with a tremendous dropsault which sends JCJ rolling. Koda picks JCJ up and pulls him to the center of the ring, and jumps up for a hurricanrana. JCJ however has it scouted, and flips Koda off in a backflip. Koda lands akwardly on his feet just before JCJ snaps off a Jestacanrana, sending Koda rolling out of the ring! .:. .:. Koda stands up as JCJ baseball slides out of the ring, russian leg sweeping him into the barricade! JCJ flows with the impact, irish whipping Koda at the ring apron. Koda, at the last second, hops onto the barricade and throws out a stray kick which luckily connects to JCJ's face. Koda jumps up and hits a Christopher Daniels-inspired Araibian Press, right on target! Koda gets to his feet first and rolls JCJ into the ring as fatigue just starts to fade in. .:. .:. Koda bounds across the ring, hitting the ropes and rolling back in a rolling thunder. After the roll however, JCJ nails a kip-up Jestacanrana, sending Koda back out onto the apron! JCJ stands up and goes to pick up Koda, but Koda hits a straight punch to JCJ, provoking the ref to come over and protest. Koda quickly however does the unthinkable. He turns his back semi away from JCJ, and nails a Pele Kick right to JCJ's face! The fall onto the apron however looks to have done more damage to Koda then before. Koda manages to roll in as the ref starts the count, both men out of it. .:. 1!
2!
3!
4!
5!
6!
.:. JCJ gets to his feet first using the second rope. He stumbles over to Koda and picks his former friend up and pushes him into the turnbuckle. JCJ short-irish whips Koda out and stops him with a knee, then nails a headscissors. JCJ climbs over for the pin! .:.
1!
2!
.:. But no! Koda Kazar gets his shoulder up. JCJ gets up and into the refs face, but quickly turns the attention back to the champion. As JCJ does this Koda jumps to his feet and in one fluid motion nails a 540 kick out of desperation. Again, both highflyers are down as the ref begins another count. 1!
2!
3!
4!
5!
6!
7!
.:. This time Koda gets to his feet first. He looks from JCJ to the crowd, then to the turnbuckle. At once the crowd starts coming off their feet as Koda climbs to the top turnbuckle over-looking JCJ. The champion looks to put challenger and newfound nemesis away, but Kitty Midnight climbs onto the apron with the Ox-Division Championship belt in her hand! The ref rushes over and the two start arguing intensely. Koda hops down back into the ring and grabs Midnight by her hair, and the three of them start arguing. .:. .:. Meanwhile JCJ silently gets to his feet on the opposite side of the ring, Kitty Midnight the only one able to see this. JCJ crouches, motioning for Koda to turn around as the whole arena erupts in boos. JCJ charges once Koda halfway turns around, still having Midnight by the hair. All at once Koda moves, Kitty Midnight jumps down, and the ref turns around cowering from being hit. JCJ is left hanging through the ropes. As he reaches out and tries to get Midnight's attention by grabbing her, Koda leans through the ropes and grabs JCJ by his hair, taunting to the crowd. .:. .:. Kitty Midnight, still thinking it's Koda however, becomes enraged. She spins around and drills BOTH MEN with the title belt in the head, and can't believe what she's just done. The ref turns back around only to see both men fall backwards, JCJ with his arm over Koda's chest. The ref slides down to make the count! .:. 1!
2!
3!
.:. The EWT arena erupts into massive boos as Kitty Midnight slides in to congradulate her man. A ringside ref however slides in and begins arguing with the officiating ref. Kitty Midnight manages to prop JCJ up as the two refs argue. The refs both slide out, and walk to the ring announcer, still arguing. The ring announcer listens to them and begins to speak. .:. Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, as a result of mistaken officiating, we are going to see a replay of the last pinfall. .:. The EWT stage screen comes alive, as all attention turns to it. We're taken back to JCJ's arm over Koda...but Koda's arm is ALSO OVER JCJ! With the short reply over, both refs come to an understanding and begin speaking with the announcer. As the announcer begins talking, the ref who made the count slides in and picks up the Ox-Division Championship. .:. Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen......as a result of a double pin this match has come to a draw...Which means...
STILL OX-DIVISON CHAMPION...KODA KAZAR!
.:. As these words are spoken the ref holds the belt up in the air, then places it on the just now-moving, retaining, Ox-Division Champion. We fade to commercial as Kitty Midnight is shouting at the ref, neither JCJ or Koda realizing what has happened yet. .:.
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Aug 27, 2006 22:27:18 GMT -5
Lillian Garcia: “Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is the 30-minute Ironwoman Match, and it is for the Girl Next Door Championship!”
(“Faster Kill female anatomycat” by Paul Oakenfold & Brittany Murphy hits and Rachael Leigh Cook comes out to a mixed reaction. She largely ignores the boos, but embraces those in the front row cheering for her. She climbs in the ring and poses for the crowd before warming up by running and bouncing off the ropes.)
Lillian: “In the ring, from Brooklyn Park, Minnesota, she is, Rachael… Leigh… Cook!
(“It’s My Time” blasts over the arena speakers as the fans rise to their feet and cheer. Rosa steps onto the stage with the GND Championship over her shoulder. Rosa embraces the fans and high fives everyone on the way to the ring. Rosa climbs in the ring and holds the title high above her head.)
Lillian: And from Miami, Florida, she is the Girl Next Door Champion, Queen ROSA!
(Rosa hands the belt to the referee. The ref holds the bell up then hands it to the timekeeper. After a few moments, the bell rings and a timer appears in the lower right corner of the screen with 30:00 on it.)
29:57 remains
Rosa and RLC lock up. Rosa goes behind and locks in a hammerlock. RLC reaches behind her with free arm and hits Rosa with a snapmare and a quick dropkick to the back of Rosa. Rosa isn’t down for long, however, and rolls out of the way of an attempted elbow drop by RLC. Rosa stands up, as does RLC. Rosa charges towards RLC and hits a spinning wheel kick. RLC falls to the mat. Rosa with the pin.
1!
RLC has her shoulder up after just one. Rosa stands, and picks RLC up from the mat. Rosa hits a quick spinning heel kick to RLC’s stomach. RLC clenches her mid-section, as Rosa hits a DDT. Another pin attempt by Rosa.
1!
2!
RLC kicks out.
27:41 remains
Rosa picks up RLC and locks in a front facelock, possibly going for another DDT, but RLC drives a few elbows into Rosa’s kidneys, breaking up the DDT attempt. RLC hits a small tackle taking down Rosa. RLC hits a few mounted punches, then drops a knee on Rosa’s stomach. RLC drags Rosa to the corner and chokes her with her foot. The ref gives RLC the 4 count to break it up.
1!
2!
3!
4!
RLC lets go at 4. RLC gets Rosa to her feet and leans her up against the turnbuckle, then rears back to attempt the Roaring Elbow, but Rosa dodges the elbow and ducks behind RLC. Rosa dropkicks RLC into the corner, sternum first. Rosa climbs and sits atop the turnbuckle, locks RLC in a front facelock, and hits a beautiful Tornado DDT! Rosa goes for the pin! 1!
2!
3!
Rosa scores the first point!
25:33 remains, Rosa- 1, RLC- 0
Rosa gets to her feet and celebrates the first pinfall, but RLC sneaks up behind her and hits a sweep kick, tripping up Rosa. RLC then locks in an ankle lock, wrenching Rosa’s ankle. RLC holds the move on, pulling Rosa away from the ropes to avoid a rope break. Rosa flips over onto her back in an attempt to escape the ankle lock, but RLC rolls with her and continues the hold. Rosa leans forward and starts bashing RLC’s leg with her fist in the hopes that she’ll let go of the ankle lock. She does finally, but Rosa is in noticeable pain when she stands up. RLC grabs Rosa by the wrist and hits a shortarm lariat. RLC locks in an STF in the middle of the ring. After about 20 seconds, Rosa has no choice but to tap!
RLC has scored a point!
20:07 remains, Rosa- 1, RLC- 1
RLC remains on the attack, locking Rosa in a crippler crossface, but Rosa gets to her feet, and hits a backdrop suplex. Rosa then rolls out of the ring to take a breather, and to try to rest her ankle. The ref starts the 10 count.
1!
2!
3!
4!
5!
6!
7!
Rosa tries to climb into the ring at this point, but RLC blocks her with a baseball slide, knocking Rosa back down to the floor!
8!
9!
10!
RLC scores another point via count-out!
19:29 remains, Rosa-1, RLC-2
RLC mockingly acts as if that was a hard point to earn, drawing heat from some members of the crowd but cheers from some others. During her “celebration” Rosa charges into the ring and blasts RLC with a Capoeira Kick. RLC goes down hard. Rosa grabs RLC by the hair and tosses her to the outside, over the ropes. RLC is laying on the ground outside. Seeing that RLC isn’t about to move, Rosa grabs the ropes and hits a tope atomico to the outside! The fans pop loud for that one. Rosa then climbs atop the guard barrier and waits for RLC to stand. After about 10 seconds, RLC slowly stands, and is met with a flying hurricarana from Rosa. The fans at this point are going nuts for the high-risk moves from Rosa. Rosa rolls RLC back into the ring. Rosa climbs the turnbuckle, and attempts a moonsault, but RLC rolls out of the way, and Rosa lands on the mat. RLC takes advantage and attempts a pin on Rosa.
1!
2!
Rosa manages to kickout.
16:51 remains, Rosa-1, RLC-2
RLC and Rosa both get up. RLC throws a right hand at Rosa, but Rosa blocks it and hits RLC with one of her own. RLC stumbles backwards, but retaliates with a Lou Thez Press, followed up with some mounted punches. RLC picks up Rosa and whips her into the ropes, but Rosa counters, sending RLC into the ropes. RLC comes back, and Rosa locks in a sleeper hold, but almost immediately slams RLC down. Rosa locks RLC into a Dragon Sleeper. Rosa drives her knee into RLC’s back as hard as she can. Rosa holds the move on for a good 30 seconds, trying to get RLC to tap, but RLC refuses. RLC then maneuvers her way over to the turnbuckle, then walks up it, and over Rosa to position herself behind Rosa. RLC stomps on the back of Rosa’s right knee, then locks in a Dragon Sleeper of her own. But after about 10 seconds, RLC scoops up Rosa, and tosses her to the outside! The fans gasp as the fall looked pretty scary, but replays on the Toomi-tron show that she didn’t land awkwardly. RLC climbs the turnbuckle, and the fans stand in anticipation. RLC leaps off the top and hits a swanton bomb on Rosa. The fans pop for the big move. The fans continue to cheer, while both women lay on the outside. After a few moments, RLC gets to her feet, with the fans still cheering. RLC kills the cheers though, by picking up Rosa and whipping her into the steel steps. RLC rolls Rosa into the ring and throws and arm over her for a pin.
1!
2!
3!
RLC earns another point!
10:02 remains, Rosa-1, RLC-3
RLC slowly gets to her feet and looks at the score and realizes that she’s got this well in hand. She decides to rest, since Rosa is knocked out. RLC goes over to the furthest corner from Rosa and sits up against it, much to the chagrin of the fans, who begin to boo. This angers RLC and she rolls to the outside to grab a mic.
RLC: “How dare you guys boo me! I am doing the exact same thing you would do in my situation! I’m up 3-1 with 9:28 to go! All I have to do is sit and wait, because your “Queen” Rosa is not getting up anytime soon!”
RLC throws the mic down, and sits down on the announce table, watching Rosa and laughing. The fans begin to chant “CHIIIIIIII-KENNNNNNNN!” at RLC. RLC laughs at the fans taunting of her, and points to her head in a “I’m smart/Using my brain” gesture. RLC and the fans then notice Rosa begin to move in the ring. RLC immediately leaps off the announce table, and climbs into the ring. RLC approaches Rosa, looking to make some kind of move, but Rosa surprises her with a rollup pin!
1!
2!
3!
Rosa earns a point!
6:18 remains, Rosa-2, RLC-3
The fans cheer wildly as Rosa surprised RLC with a pin and got another point! RLC is up immediately, and gets Rosa to her feet. RLC leans Rosa up against the ropes, and hits some backhand chops on Rosa. RLC whips Rosa towards the ropes, but Rosa reverses it. RLC comes running back, and Rosa hits a clothesline. RLC gets back up, but Rosa hits another. RLC stands up again, but Rosa hits yet another clothesline. This sequence repeats several times, with the fans cheering louder and louder. Finally, Rosa hits a clothesline, but RLC does not get back up. RLC is laying on her stomach, as Rosa goes in front of RLC, and drives a knee into the face of RLC, giving her a bloody nose! Rosa then locks on an STF! RLC screams in pain, and wildly tries to reach for the ropes, but is too far away! She has no choice but to tap!
Rosa earns another point!
3:26 remains, Rosa-3, RLC-3
Rosa opts not to celebrate her the point she has earned to tie the match, but instead chooses to lock in another STF to try and get another point! But this time RLC managed to get closer to the ropes, and almost immediately, gets a rope break. Rosa gets up and gets in a ready position, waiting for RLC to arise. RLC slowly gets to her feet. Rosa charges RLC. RLC dodges and thinks Rosa flew to the outside, but turns around and finds Rosa standing there, looking mighty pissed! RLC tries to attack, but Rosa hits an enziguri. RLC goes down, and Rosa looks up and the Toomi-tron to see that 1:50 remains. Rosa realizes she has to hurry if she is gonna get another point and keep her title. Rosa approaches RLC, but RLC attempts a rollup, much like Rosa’s earlier.
1!
2!
Rosa kicks out.
1:40 remains, Rosa-3, RLC-3
There is not a fan in their seat as the final moments of the match are approaching. RLC and Rosa both are slow to get up as they are exhausted. RLC and Rosa exchange punches, as they struggle to gain dominance over each other. RLC ducks a punch attempt by Rosa, and goes behind her. Rosa attempts a spinning heel kick, but RLC catches her by the foot and spins her, making Rosa a little disoriented. RLC waits for Rosa to face her. Rosa faces RLC, and RLC hits a superkick! Rosa falls to the mat, and RLC attempts a pin.
1!
2!
Rosa barely kicks out at 2 and 7/8. RLC gets Rosa to her feet with :50 remaining. Rosa tries to hit RLC but RLC dodges. RLC goes behind Rosa, and locks in a crossface chickenwing. RLC slams Rosa down to the mat and wraps her legs around Rosa’s waist, turning it into the Pressure Cooker with :35 to go. Rosa refuses to tap, and slowly makes her way over to the ropes, barely getting her foot on the rope. With :15 to go, the fans are sure this match will go into overtime. Rosa tries to stand, but RLC pulls her to the middle of the ring and locks on the Pressure Cooker once again! Rosa tries her damndest not to tap! The fans count down the final seconds of the match with RLC still holding on the Pressure Cooker! 10!
9!
8!
7!
6!
5!
4!
3!
2!
1!
Rosa taps out! Rosa taps out! The ref calls for the bell. The fans do not know what came first, the end of regulation, or Rosa tapping. The ref confers with the time keeper as everyone waits in silence. After a few brief moments, the ref whispers something into Lillian’s ear. Lillian grabs the mic.
Lillian: “Ladies and gentlemen! The referee has informed me that Rosa tapped out, with :01 second remaining. Therefore, your winner, with a score of 4-3, and your NEW Girl Next Door Champion, RACHAEL LEIGH COOK!
The fans are stunned! The crowd is a mix of boos and cheers. RLC is in the the ring and she can’t belive it. She drops to her knees as the referee hands her the GND Championship Belt. She holds it up in celebration, before making her way to the back, bloody and bruised as the new GND Champion. Rosa remains in the ring, as doctors and EMT’s check on her.
Fade to next segment.
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Aug 27, 2006 22:27:48 GMT -5
Howard Finkel: “This next match is scheduled for one fall ”
(Madonna’s “Like A Virgin” blares over the loudspeaker and the crowd begins to boo with their thumbs thrust downward. After a few seconds Billy, wearing his traditional yellow and green striped tights and his new T-shirt with a red palm outline that says “Five Against One. Join the Virgin Liberation Society today ”, slowly makes his way out and looks around at the crowd. He sneers and shrugs ‘em off as he continues to make his way down to the ring.)
Fink: “Introducing first From St. Paul, Minnesota Weighing in at 226lbs He is Billy “The Virgin” Ubermark ”
(The fans boo even louder at his introduction but Billy pretends not to notice. He slides into the ring and hops up on one of the turnbuckles, slapping his chest and raising his fist in the air. He marches to the other side of the ring and hops up on the buckles again, pointing to himself and jawing with a fan he doesn’t really care for. Billy hops off the buckles and stands in the center of the ring with his hands on his hips and looking confident. His music cuts off for the introduction of his former partner.)
Fink: “And his opponent.........”
(The lights go down and Faith No More’s “Stripsearch” comes over the PA. As purple and gold strobe lights flash over the arena, with matching lights on the ramp, Ultimo comes out from the back, also to a chorus of boos. He flings his Harley Race-esque cape over his shoulder to reveal his deep purple tights (with a gold crown on the crotch), matching kneepads, and his boots so covered in purple sequins they look like two disco balls. He adjusts his crown and clicks the button so the neon “Super Rad” sign turns on. He grins like a doofus and waves to the jeering crowd.)
Fink: “From Portland, Oregon Weighing in at 232lbs He is the King Ultimo Choculon ”
(With that a loud boom erupts as twin cannons from either side of the ramp shoot what at first glance appears to be large pieces of confetti all over the crowd. As it floats down the fans see that it's not confetti but 100 dollar bills. But before they get too excited the see that instead of Ben Franklin's picture it’s Ultimo’s grinning mug giving the thumbs up with the inscription, “Sucker ” on the bottom. The fans wad up the bills and boo even louder. Laughing at his own joke, UC marches down to the ring and enters. Billy, from outside the ring, complains to the referee that UC is hogging the spot light but what can the ref do? UC stands in the center of the ring and holds his cape out as doves are released from ringside, flapping their way towards the skylight on the top of the dome (cuz I said so). As the lights come up and the music fades UC calmly walks over to the turnbuckles and places his crown on top of the post, then wraps his cape around it and ties it so it won’t fall off. That’s his corner apparantly. Billy takes his shirt off and tosses it into the crowd as he rolls into the ring and is ready to go. UC and Billy meet in the center of the ring and stare each other down. The bell rings and Gorilla Monsoon makes it official:)
Gorilla: “And we are under way, folks! The electricity is so thick you can cut it with a knife!"
(Thanks Gino. Billy and UC are about an inch away from each other’s faces, talking smack to one another. UC pokes his finger in Billy’s chest and Billy smacks it away. UC takes offense and starts poking again, this time a little harder. Once again Billy slaps his hand away and open hands slaps UC right across the kisser. The crowd ooh's at Billy's show of noots. UC sneers and slaps Billy across the face in retaliation. The crowd ooh’s again. Billy, who’s getting steamed, starts to make an exaggerated hocking noice and PTOOEY! He spits the mother of all loogies in his hand and slaps UC across the face again. UC feels his face and looks at his hand, which is dripping in ooey gooey Billy spit. UC wipes his hand off on the ref’s shirt and gets more aggitated than before. UC sticks his hand down the front of his tights, jostles it around a little, takes his hand out and plasters Billy in the face with another hard slap. Billy feels his face and smells his hand. He gets a disgusted look on his face and sees UC snickering at him. Billy finally loses it and KABLAMMO!! S***’s on now! Billy and UC are letting loose and blasting each other with punches to the head, shoulders, body, it doesn’t matter. They’re wailing on each other. The crowd pops huge for this as they don’t care who gets the upperhand, as long as one of these guys gets hurt. The two men hit the mat and continue to pummel the living bejebers out of one another until the ref (moron) tries to get in between the two to break it up. Well, Pee Wee Anderson gets shoved by UC out of the way and Billy tags UC with a boot to the stomach. With UC doubled over Billy lets loose with several forearms to the back. Billy grabs UC and tries to ram his head into the buckle but UC blocks and reverses sending Billy’s head in the buckle instead. UC kicks Billy in the back and goes for a back suplex. Billy flips around and lands on his feet. UC turns around and Billy decks him with a clothesline down to the canvas. Billy comes back as UC stands for another clothesline but UC ducks it and delivers a Shark Boy Neckbreaker. UC goes for an elbow drop but Billy moves out of the way, sending UC crashing to the mat. Billy jumps up for an elbow drop of his own but UC moves and Billy hits the deck. Billy gets up and UC is there to hit him with a back elbow smash. UC sends Billy into the buckles but Billy reverses, pulls UC into him, and hits him with an overhead belly to belly suplex. UC gets up and staggers to the buckles and Billy charges in. Billy goes for a monkey flip but UC holds onto the ropes and Billy flies backwards and lands on the mat. When Billy stands up UC is there with a dropkick but Billy just slaps him away and UC lands on the mat. Billy hits the ropes and UC ducks down. Billy jumps over him and rebounds. UC leapfrogs Billy and then he hits the ropes himself. UC goes for a clothesline on Billy but he ducks it and they both bounce off opposite ropes. Billy tries a forearm smash but UC dodges that.....and they bounce off opposite ropes. UC goes for a rolling heel kick but Billy leaps over it.............and they bounce off opposite ropes. Billy tries a running axe handle but UC cartwheels it........sigh...........and they bounce off opposite ropes. Suddenly, after how many bounces, both UC and Billy leap up as they both try a flying cross body, but in mid flight their heads collide like two coconuts and they both hit the deck and roll out of the ring to the outside. The crowd wildy applauds and chants “WHAT WAS THAT? WHAT WAS THAT?” As the two former Handsome Boys try to clear the cob webs the ref begins the count. Billy takes his time getting his bearings back but doesn’t take his eye off of UC , who is doing the same thing. At the count of seven, UC gets up on the ring apron and enters the ring. Billy does the same at the eight count and the two circle each other.
The crowd is divided between “DIE, VIRGIN, DIE! ” and “ULTIMO SUCKS! ” chants. Lovely. Undeterred the two men continue to circle each other and they lock up. Billy gets the upperhand first and forces UC to one knee. Billy knees UC in the side to break the grapple and Billy gets UC in a side headlock. Billy keeps the hold applied as UC struggles a little but finally he gets his bearings and he shoves Billy off. Billy bounces off the ropes and UC drops to the mat again. Billy leaps over UC and bounces off but on the rebound he gets two sparkly purple boots to the mush as UC nails him with a pin point dropkick. Billy hits the mat and holds his mouth as UC capitalizes. UC stomps Billy a couple times and picks him up by the arm. UC winds it up and applies pressure. Billy rolls over and reverses the arm hold, turns it into a wrist lock and now he’s on top. UC struggles to get back in control but Billy keeps the wrist lock applied. UC drops onto his back and kicks Billy off, sending him to the mat. Billy gets up and charges UC but he leapfrogs and Billy crashes into the second turnbuckle. UC sneaks up behind Billy and hits a Bridging Back Suplex.
1..........
Billy kicks out. UC stays on top and hits an axe handle to Billy’s back and he lands on the canvas. UC picks Billy up and plants him with a side back breaker, bounces off the ropes, and comes down with a quick leg drop. UC hits the ropes again and comes down with another quick leg drop. UC, for the third time, hits the and down again with a leg drop. Three times! Wow! UC covers.
1............
Billy kicks out. UC scoop slams Billy in the center of the ring and tries to apply the Boston Crab. Billy squirms and fights and UC can’t get Billy over. Billy gets one leg free and kicks UC away, causing the hold to break. Billy stands up and UC is on him. UC goes for a punch but Billy blocks it. Billy punches UC in the head three times and tries for a leg lariat, but UC ducks it and as Billy rises up UC hits him with a spinning heel kick. UC covers.
1......... 2...........
Billy kicks out. UC quickly grabs Billy and delivers a snap suplex on him. UC picks Billy up and sends him crashing into the turnbuckles. UC charges and jumps for the Stinger Splash but Billy gets the boot up and clocks UC in the mush. UC staggers out of the corner and Billy gets up onto the second turnbuckles. UC turns and Billy leaps, catching him with a back elbow. Both men get up and they meet in the center and exchange punches. Billy gets the upperhand and turns his last punch into a clothesline. As UC staggers up Billy grabs him the hair and goes for a suplex of his own. UC quickly reverses and lands behind Billy, grabbing him by the tights and rolling him up.
1............ 2................
Billy kicks out. UC punches Billy in the head a couple times and winds up the arm again, but Billy reverses and knees UC in the stomach. Billy gives UC a gut wrench suplex. UC staggers up and picks himself up using the ropes. Billy gets his momentum up and charges UC but he gets a super kick in the gut for his trouble. UC then grabs Billy by the tights and throws him straight over the top rope and to the floor. Billy lands on the outside mat with a thud. UC signals to the crowd, who still don't like him BTW, that he’s going to fly and measures Billy, waiting for him to get up. Billy manages to get up and UC runs and flies over the top rope with the Cannonball Run. But as UC is flipping Billy jumps up and dropkicks UC right in the back as he’s in midair. UC crashes down to the protective mat below and grabs his back. Billy slides back into the ring and tries to clear the cobwebs as UC is on the outside doing the same. UC slowly gets up to his feet and stands up on the ring apron. Right as he looks up he sees Billy has hit the ropes and is coming right for him. Before UC can do anything Billy sails through the ropes and nails him with a Spear, sending both men flying off the apron and crashing into the guard rail. Billy and UC are both on the floor from the collision as the crowd begins chanting for religious fecal matter.
Billy is the first one up and he throws UC back into the ring. Billy sets himself up on the ring apron and slingshots himself over the top and onto UC with a flipping senton. Billy hooks the leg and covers.
1...........
And half before UC kicks out. Billy hits a swinging neck breaker on UC and follows it up with a leaping elbow drop to the sternum. Billy picks UC up and gives him two stiff elbow shots to the chest and hits a Northern Lights Suplex
1............ 2...............
Kickout. Billy picks UC up in the scoop slam position and drops him gut first across his bended knee. UC is on his hands and knees puffing for air as Billy hits the ropes and nails a front dropkick to the ribs. Covers again.
1.......... 2..............
UC kicks out. Billy picks UC up and gives him a back breaker, keeps him on the knee, and holds him there. UC is trying to wriggle out but nothing doing. Billy keeps the pressure applied but then slides UC out and hits a standing SSP. Billy covers again.
1........ 2...........
UC kicks out. Billy shoots the referee a dirty look and holds up three fingers but the ref just shakes his head. Billy sends UC into the ropes but UC reverses. Billy grabs ahold of the top rope to stop his momentum. UC charges in but Billy back body drops him over the top. UC changes direction and lands on the ring apron and pops Billy one right in the back of the head. UC gets Billy in a front face lock and tries to suplex him out to the floor but Billy blocks it. UC tries again and gets him up this time but Billy twists around and lands on the ring apron next to UC. The two exchange punches until the third exchange when Billy give UC a face rake. UC tries to regain his vision as Billy backs up and charges. Suddenly UC kicks Billy in the stomach, doubling him over, and DDT’s Billy’s head right into the ring apron, sending UC down to the floor. The crowd lets out a huge roar as Billy rolls off the apron. UC, a little groggy, gets up first and stomps Billy a couple times just to keep him soft. UC positions Billy where he wants him and goes back up to the ring apron. UC then leaps up and hits a split leg springboard moonsault off the top rope onto Billy on the floor. UC throws Billy into the ring and tries to get the win.
1............. 2.................
Billy kicks out. UC can’t believe it and gives the ref the skunk eye. UC locks in a Cobra Clutch on Billy and shakes him around a little, but instead of going for the submission he sends Billy backwards with a suplex. UC goes over to Billy, pulls down his knee pad, and blasts him right on the melon with the DeMento Knee Drop. UC covers again.
1.......... 2...............
Billy gets the shoulder up. UC signals for the Sugar Fix and puts Billy in a front face lock to set it up. UC goes to lift Billy but Billy stops the momentum, punches UC in the stomach to break the hold and goes for a clothesline. UC ducks it and retalliates with a super kick but Billy grabs his leg and delivers a nut punch. UC grabs his goo shooter as Billy uses the opportunity to spring off the ropes and hit a hurricanrana, hooking both legs.
1............. 2...............
UC kicks out. Billy keeps on him and goes for a powerbomb. He gets UC up onto his shoulders but UC slips out, lands behind him, hits the ropes, and nails Billy with the Flying Forearm. Billy staggers up and UC is there to lay him out with the Shell Shock. UC hooks the leg.
1............ 2................
No! Billy kicks out. UC slams the canvas in frustration. UC picks Billy up and goes for the Squid Face to hopefully put Billy down once and for all. As UC tries to hook the arms Billy grabs both of UC’s wrists and twists him around, decking him with the Unprettier. Billy turns UC over and tries for the win.
1.............. 2...............
UC gets the shoulder up. Billy goes for a backslide.
1........... 2............
UC kicks out. Billy tries a small package.
1................. 2...................
UC kicks out again. Billy slams on the mat with both fists and screams in frustration, unable to put UC away. Billy sends UC into the ropes but UC reverses. As Billy comes off the ropes UC tries a leap frog but Billy hits the brakes and as UC lands Billy hits him with an elbow smash, turns him around, and gives UC a German Suplex. Billy bridges.
1.......... 2...............
No! Once again UC kicks out. Billy measures UC as he slowly rises off the canvas. As UC gets up Billy runs up behind him and goes for the Virgin Sacrifice. Before Billy can lock his hands though UC rolls out of the way so Billy lands flat on his back on the mat. Billy scrambles up and UC pokes him in the eyes, gives him a jaw breaker, and tries for the Figure Four Bridge Pin.
1............ 2..............
Billy kicks out. Billy and UC both get up but UC is the first on the attack and he lays Billy out with a mean super kick to the face. Billy lands in a heap as UC collects himself. UC walks over to his cape and rummages around in it. Finally he brings out his loaded arm brace and shows it to the crowd, who no likey. UC leans up against the buckles, and pulls the brace on his arm as he watches Billy try to stand up. Billy gets up and UC hits the ropes. He throws his entire body into the Crowning Acheivment but Billy ducks it. UC stumbles up and turns around and Billy catches him with a Manhatten Drop followed by a Death Valley Driver. Billy positions UC wear he wants him and signals that he’s going up to the top. Billy slowly climbs up to the top rope and stands up, giving himself the RVD thumbs. Billy leaps off with a Frog Splash but UC moves out of the way and Billy crashes and burns on the mat. Ker-splat!! UC capitalizes and hits Billy with the Perfect Plex.
1.................. 2....................
No, Billy kicks out again! UC adjusts his arm brace, positioning a foreign object inside. He waits for Billy to stand up and runs right at him. UC throws the Crowning Achievement again but Billy catches his arm and quickly applies a Crossface. Billy cranks back on UC's neck and the ref is there to see if UC wants to quit. UC refuses and Billy keeps the hold on. Billy repositions his legs on UC's arm but he feels something odd. Billy lets go of the hold and tears UC's arm brace off. He reaches inside and to his shock he pulls out a horseshoe. Billy gets enraged and confronts UC, who's trying to beg Billy off. Billy rears back like he's about to blast UC in the face with the horseshoe but the referee stops him. The ref grabs the horseshoe and he and Billy tug back and forth on it. Finally Billy is able to snag the horsehoe away from the ref but when he turns around UC blasts him in the face with a Shining Wizard (yes, he can jump that high). Billy hits the canvas and the horseshoe falls out of his hand and onto the concrete outside the ring. UC covers...
1.......... 2...........
And a half! Billy barely got the shoulder up! UC stands up and points to the top rope and signals that he's going to put Billy away. UC body slams Billy where he wants him and then goes over to the buckles, climbing up from the inside. He stands on the top rope and signals for a moonsault but his foot slips and he almost falls to the concrete below. UC catches himself and he again climbs up to the top rope as the crowd makes fun of him for almost botching. UC yells out “The Virgin is dead! Long live me! ” and makes the throat slashing motion. But he doesn’t see that Billy has risen up and sees UC on the top rope with his back turned. Suddenly Billy runs to the buckles, leaps up, grabs UC’s chin, and blasts him with the Virgin Sacrifice off the top rope Both men land with a thud on the mat as Billy sucks up whatever air he has left and goes for the pin.
1................. 2....................... 3!!!
Billy slides off of UC’s carcass and lays there on the canvas as the referee raises his arm.
Fink: “Here is your winner, Billy “The Virgin” Ubermark ”
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Aug 27, 2006 22:28:11 GMT -5
(Billy Ubermark catches his breath for a few moments as he lays in the middle of the ring. Finally, he pulls himself to his feet. All around him, the crowd is booing and cursing at him, but Billy pays them no mind. He staggers over to the ring announcer and takes the microphone from him. Billy then goes back to the middle of the ring. He wipes some sweat and blood off of his face, and then begins to speak.)*BU* (somewhat out of breath): There you have it, people! There you have what I promised you.... not just from the beginning of this entire ordeal,... but from the start of my entire career here in the E.W.T.! They say that the proof is in the pudding, and THAT.... (Billy points down at King Chocula, who is still lying motionless on the canvas)*BU*: ... is just another helping of the pudding that I have been dishing out to you since day #1. Time after time after time, I have offered PROOF to you people in the audience... to the people in the back.... and to the entire world.... about just how good I really am! When I first came into this company, I took it by storm. From the moment I first set foot in this ring, I showed everyone that I was something special. But nobody would take me seriously! (Billy pauses and looks out into the crowd. He wipes some more sweat off of his forehead before continuing on, as the crowd sporadicly boos him.)*BU*: In a short time, I captured the Tri-State Championship. I defended it against all comers, and I showed the doubters that I had what it takes to hold that belt! And I took that title to a whole other level, and set the bar for every other Tri-State Champion that has come after me. But when an injury took me away from the ring, you all but forgot about me! (Again, Billy pauses.)*BU*: When I returned, I teamed up Ultimo Chocula, and climbed to the top of the hill, again! I became one-half of the E.W.T.'s Tag-Team Champions. Never has the company seen, and never will it again see, Tag-Team Champions as dominant as we were! The perfect combination of style and talent! But nobody could stand to see us with the gold, and the proper recognition for our achievements... particularly MINE.... were never fully spotlighted! Eventually, even MY OWN PARNTER decided that he didn't want to share the spotlight with me, and attempted to claim what recognition we did receive as his own! (Billy looks around. He takes a deep breath, and points at the floor of the ring.)*BU*: Through all of this, I have given you people my all in rings like this one! I have been in matches of all sorts.... singles matches.... tag-team matches... dog chain matches... battle royals.... Scramble Cage matches... THE WORKS! And in every match I've been in, I have given you people my all! And whether I've won, or I've lost.... and believe me, I've won FAR MORE than I have EVER lost.... I should have left NO DOUBT that I am one of the greatest competitors this company has ever seen! I am, as I have always said, one of the hottest young superstars in this company! This has been going on for over TWO YEARS!(Billy stops and brushes the hair out of his eyes. He looks up at the crowd with an intense glare as he takes another deep breath before going on.)*BU*: Yet all of this seem to mean nothing. All of the matches I've had, all of my many accomplishments seem to fade into the dark and dusty regions of everybody's memories. And the only thing that seems to remain in the front of everybody's mind is the one thing that should never matter.... MY VIRGINITY! (At the mention of his virginity, the crowd erputs into a chorus of boos and groans at Billy. Billy, however, remains intensely fixated and continues with his speech!)*BU*: Boo all you want! I don't care, because its the truth! Time and time again, I have offered proof of my capabilities! From the first match I ever had in this ring, to this last match with that pile of crap over there. (Billy points again at the fallen King Choculon.) *BU*: Look at my accompishments, all of which I have achieved DESPITE the bigotry against me! Look at what I have done in this company, DESPITE the bigotry against me!! I am in a class of my own in this company, and STILL I fail to receive the respect that I so richly deserve! Why? Because it pains so many people to see someone with my physical affliction... someone who they do not feel is worthy of receiving his just rewards.... someone who is, God forbid, a VIRGIN reach the pinacle of this company, no matter how much he deserves it! At what point will I finally receive that respect I crave! At what moment will people finally be forced to look past my sexual status and see me for the amazing talent that I am?! At what time will I finally be taken SERIOUSLY by everyone in this world?! (Billy looks around at the crowd for a moment, and then points sternly at the audience.)*BU*: I will tell you at what time. That time is NOW! Twice in this company, I have been to the tops of mountains. But now I have my sites set on climbing to the top of the highest peak of them all! For the past couple weeks, I have told you that the Year of the Virgin was coming. Well, ladies and gentlement, the Year of the Virgin is finally hear! It begans with decimation of King Chumpula over there, and it will continue on... and on.... and on until I have climbed to top of that gigantic mountain.... until I have finally reached my grand prize.... The E.W.T. Heavyweight Championship!!! And once that is done, I will stand on top of that highest mountain, and I will make it be known that I truly am the best among the elite in this company! And after that, nobody.... NOBODY... will ever be able to look at me and see me as nothing more than a Virgin! Instead, I will be seen as the superior athlete that I am! For I will have the proof of my greatness, and I will be wearing it around my waist for the entire world to see! (Billy brushes the hair out of his eyes one more time. The camera gets a close-up look of the expression on his face as he stares coldly into the crowd.)*BU*: The Year of the Virgin is finally upon us! And with it shall come all that which I have so long been denied! (Billy throws down the microphone in the middle of the ring. The crowd taunts him mercilessly as he turns away from the audience. He stares down at Ultimo Chocula one last time and mutters something at him before stepping out of the ring. "Like A Virgin" by Madonna starts playing over the loudspeakers as Billy Ubermark makes his way up the ramp towards the back amidst the jeers and insults of the fans around him.)
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Aug 27, 2006 22:28:43 GMT -5
(The camera cuts to a sweeping shot of the inside of a local Chuck-E-Cheese (aka, CEC). A group made up of wrestling fans, here to see the fight, and kids playing video games has filled the inside of the building. A makeshift curtain has been made for Joe Ragnal and Spyke to enter. The fans wait around the front door waiting for the combatants to enter. Spyke’s theme “Galvanize” by Chemical Brothers plays over the CEC speaker system. Spyke Johannson enters the building and through the curtains to thunderous applause.)
Spyke: “Ya know, I bet Joey Rags is gonna be a while. Anyone wanna play me in a game of Dance Dance Revolution?”
(Spyke and a randomly selected audience member step onto the DDR machine. Spyke selects the song “Megaton Ray of Happy Sunshine ver. 2.0” by DJ Takinoka. Spyke flawlessly manages to hit every arrow, and builds a 178 Perfect Combo, when suddenly…)
Audience member: “Holy S***! Is that Joe Ragnal?!
(Everybody, including Spyke, who loses his Perfect Combo, looks outside to see Joe Ragnal on a dirtbike flying at full speed towards the CEC!)
Spyke: “Everybody! Look out!”
(All the patrons manage to make it out of the way as Joe Ragnal flies through the window of the CEC on his dirtbike, landing perfectly. Glass flies everywhere. This garners cheers from the audience for the cool entrance. But it freaks out a few kids, who take cover in the ball pit)
Joe: “Sorry I’m late. Had to make my grand entrance a little FUN, ya know?”
Spyke: “Yeah, your entrance may have been cool, but it ain’t gonna help you keep that Toolshed Title.”
Joe: “We’ll see about that, Mr. Johannson.”
(Chuck E. Cheese approaches the two men. It appears as if he will be doing ring intros.)
CEC: “Welcome CEC customers! First off, there is a special girl in the building that is turning 15 today! That’s right! Flora! Happy Birrrrrrrrrrrthday!
(The camera pans over to Flora jumping excitedly. Joe looks embarrassed.)
CEC: Now, This special attraction is an EWT-sanctioned fight, scheduled for one fall, and it is for the EWT Toolshed Title! To my left, he is from Stockholm, Sweden, weighing in at 225 lbs. Spyke Johannson! To my right, he is the current EWT Toolshed Champion, from Scranton, PA, weighing in at 234 lbs. Joe Ragnal!
Joe: You know, Chuck, your voice sounds awfully familiar.
Spyke: Yeahhhh.
(Spyke removes the head of the Chuck E. costume. Inside of the costume is Smackdown ring announcer Tony Chimel.)
Spyke: Tony Chimel?! What the f*** are you doing here?
(At the very mention of the name “Tony Chimel” several kids run towards Chimel, knock him down, and kick him mercilessly.)
Chimel: “Anything OW! for a dollar. OW! And free pizza.”
Joe: “Huh how about that?”
(Spyke leaps onto a table and moonsaults off of it onto Joe. The match has started… finally.)
Spyke and Joe get up and begin brawling all over CEC. The two make their way over to a few arcade machines. Spyke attempts a clothesline, but Joe ducks under it and hits a heel kick. Spyke doubles over, and Joe hits a DDT. Spyke gets up slowly. Joe attempts a suplex, but Spyke wriggles out of it and shoves Joe onto a row of skeeball games. Spyke climbs on top of one to continue the attack on Joe, but Joe grabs a skeeball and hits Spyke in the head with it. Joe drags Spyke over to the end of one of the skeeball lanes and leans him up against it.
Joe: “Does anyone have a token?”
Anonymous voice: “We have some tokens.”
The camera pans over to reveal German power-rock band, Rammstein, standing by some San Francisco Rush machines. Lead singer, Till Lindermann, hands Joe a token.
Joe: “Wow! Thanks Rammstein!”
Joe puts the token into the machine, and stars rolling balls up the lane, hitting Spyke in the chest and head. One lands in Spyke’s hand, which is covering the elusive 100,000 point hole.
Joe: “You son of a b****! That was worth 100,000 points!
Joe goes to pick up Spyke, but Spyke uses the skeeball that landed in his hand to bash Joe over the head. Spyke shoves Joe down, and Joe lands on the floor. Spyke slowly makes it to his feet, where he notices Rammstein standing there.
Spyke: “Rammstein?”
Lindermann: *not cracking the slightest of smiles* “Yes?”
Spyke: “Uhh, big fan.”
Spyke picks up Joe and pulls him over to the water gun game.
Spyke *to himself*: “Good Christ, what is going on here? Tony Chimel, Rammstein, what’s next?”
Spyke shoots Joe in the eye with the water gun. But Joe recovers quickly and rams Spyke’s head against the wall. Joe brings Spyke over to the basketball game. Joe pulls Spyke up with him on the machine. Joe picks Spyke up and places him, upside-down, in the basketball hoop. Joe puts in another token. He starts shooting baskets, at a prone Spyke, but Spyke manages to kick away most of the balls, by swinging his legs frantically. Spyke manages to get himself out of the basket. But Joe whips a basketball at him, narrowly missing Spyke. But the ball hits the wall and comes back to hit Joe, right in the face! Joe stumbles backwards and his elbow crashes through the “Candy Crane” game. Luckily, Joe was wearing his elbow pads, or else his elbow would have been cut up (safety first, kids!). Several kids collect the candy through the hole in the glass and run off. Spyke grabs Ragnal and brings him to a section of games for the older kids. Spyke approaches a row of fighing games. Among them are Tekken 5, Mortal Kombat II, Primal Rage, and Virtua Fighter 2. After a brief pause, Spyke bashes Joe’s head through the screen of the Primal Rage game. With Joe’s head still in Primal Rage, Spyke takes a break and plays a little Tekken 5.
Spyke: “Sweet, I love this game!”
Spyke chooses Forrest Law, his favorite. His first opponent is Jin Kazama. Law starts off with a high jumpkick, but it’s blocked by Kazama. Kazama hits a few quick punches, but Law blocks one, and counters into a shoulder throw. Kazama is up after a few seconds and Law greets him with a flying dragon kick. Kazama flies backwards. Law hits another spin kick, and a few backhand blows. Law wins Round 1! At this point, Joe is starting to move inside the Primal Rage machine.
Spyke: “Craaaaaaaap! Am I gonna be able to finish one damn game today?”
Spyke pulls Joe out of the machine, but Joe grabs some nearby cotton candy and hits Spyke with it.
Spyke: “Cotton candy? What the f***?!
Joe takes off, running towards the tube maze. Spyke follows. Joe climbs into the right entrance. Spyke goes into the left. Since the cameras are unable to follow, the shot pans over to Todd Grisham who is with a kid, about 13-years old.
Grisham: “We’ll be back with the match in a moment. But right now, I’m here with Jimmy Schank. Now Jimmy, I understand you have tried the new EWT arcade game. How is it?”
Jimmy: “Ehh, it’s alright.”
Grisham *under his breath* “Follow the script, kid.”
Jimmy: “No! Your breath smells bad! Plus, I like KPW better. Koko is the greatest!”
Grisham: “Oh yeah?! Well if KPW is so good why don’t you go play their arcade game? I’m sure it’s on at 4AM in Japan!”
Jimmy: “That doesn’t make sense.”
Grisham: “It doesn’t have to. I’m TODD F***IN’ GRISHAM!”
At this point we hear an audible “WHEEEE!” as the camera pans back over to the tube area, the ball pit specifically. Spyke comes down the slide head first, but appears to have a large amount of blood on his face and is knocked out. The “WHEEEE!” is coming from Joe Ragnal. Who comes down the slide and tries to pin Spyke but there is no referee!
Joe: “Where in the hell is the referee?”
Suddenly, the lights in the restaurant go dark. Then, a spotlight shines on the kitchen doors and “Reign In Blood” by Slayer begins to play. The excitement in the crowd begins to build. Then, the man himself emerges from the kitchen. It’s Earl Hebner! The crowd erupts in cheers and applause. The lights come on and the music fades as Hebner leaps into the ball pit to make the count.
Hebner: “I can’t make the count!”
Joe: “Why not?!”
Hebner: “His shoulders aren’t on the ground.”
Joe tosses Spyke out onto the carpeted surface and attempts a pin.
1!
2!
Spyke kicks out! By this time both men are bloodied. Joe sets up Spyke in front of the kitchen doors. Joe takes a few steps back, and superkicks Spyke through the kitchen doors! Joe walks into the kitchen and grabs a pizza cutter, a cheese grater, and a head of cabbage. Spyke crawls back out to the play area. Joe follows. Once back out in the play area, Joe sits on Spyke’s back and goes to slice his forehead open, with the pizza cutter, but a woman stops him.
Woman: “Excuse me, sir, but can we use that? The waiter forgot to slice our pizza.”
Joe hands her the pizza slicer. Joe then picks up the cheese grater and is about to grind it against Spyke’s head, when suddenly, he is stopped by a man.
Man: “Sorry to bother you, but can we use that cheese grater? My family got me a wheel of gouda cheese for my birthday and I’d like to put it on my pizza.”
Joe: “Goddammit!”
Joe reluctantly hands the man the cheese grater. Joe has no choice but to use the head of cabbage, but Todd Grisham has stolen it. Joe just decides to bring Spyke over to the salad bar. But Spyke grabs a handful of lettuce and tosses it in Joe’s face. Spyke grabs Joe by the ankles and trips him. Spyke then sets up Joe for a catapult, and does just that. Spyke catapults Joe right into the token machine! The machine malfunctions and starts spewing tokens all over the place. The kids celebrate this joyous occasion, but that vile Todd Grisham tries to take all the tokens. The parents of the kids don’t appreciate this behavior and toss Grisham out of the building, face first, which strangely gets the largest pop so far. Spyke walks over to Joe and hits a sambo suplex, before attempting a pin.
1!
2!
Joe kicks out! At about this time, sparks start to shoot out of the Primal Rage machine, igniting a fire. Fire alarms around the building go off. The sprinklers come on, but they aren’t enough to douse the flames. Everybody runs outside. After everybody makes it outside, the crowd, including Joe and Spyke watch the building burn, and eventually collapse. Everybody leaves, figuring the match is over.
Joe: “Wow.”
Spyke: “We burnt down a whole f***in’ Chuck E Cheese!”
Joe: “I’m pretty sure that’s an EWT first.”
Spyke: “Think we’ll have to pay for it?”
Joe: “Of course not, I have Toomi’s credit cards.”
Joe flashes a MasterCard that has “Toom E. Dangerously” on it, and a Discover card with “Toomi Bischoff” on it.
Spyke: “Well, we’re covered there. But we still have a match to finish.”
Joe: “Hmmm, you’re right. Where shall we finish at?”
The two look across the street and see another Chuck E Cheese.
Joe: “Damn, these things are like effin Starbucks. Let’s go.”
Joe and Spyke run across the street, dodging cars, and approach the building.
Spyke: “OK, these people in here probably aren’t wrestling fans, since all the fans were all at the other one. So we have to do something to really impress them.”
Joe: “What do you suggest?”
Suddenly, Spyke grabs Joe and tosses him through the window! All the patrons inside freak out and hide. Spyke climbs through the window.
Spyke: “It’s OK, Ladies and Gentlemen! We are professionals!
Spyke grabs Joe by the hair and pulls him around CEC looking for a suitible game to put his head through.
Spyke: “Damn, no Primal Rage. Ooh, Hydro Thunder!”
Spyke attempts to toss Joe into the Hydro Thunder, but Joe blocks the attempt. Joe puts Spyke in a sleeper but turns it into a sleeper slam. Joe goes for the pin, but Hebner is just now getting to the building! A second cameraman plays “Reign In Blood” by Slayer on a boombox as Hebner climbs through the window. Hebner runs over and counts the pin.
1!
2!
Spyke kicks out! Joe lays into Spyke with some right hands. Joe stands Spyke up, but Spyke is barely able to stand. Joe throws Spyke onto a table. Joe climbs on top of the Hydro Thunder game. Joe leaps off of the game and onto the table, attempting a Superfly Splash. Spyke rolls out of the way just in time. Joe clenches his stomach as he landed hard on the table, which does not give. Both men are down, trying to recover. After a few moments of rest, Spyke slowly gets to his feet, as does Joe. Spyke climbs on top of the Hydro Thunder game, which is part of a large row of arcade games. Spyke pulls Joe up with him, and they begin brawling on top of such arcade classics as Ms. Pac-Man, Donkey Kong, Burgertime (which Spyke’s foot accidentally falls through), Galaga, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, which is on the end. Both men reach the end of the line, on top of TMNT. Joe attempts a kick to the midsection, but Spyke blocks it, kicks Joe in the midsection, and hits Joe Ragnal with the SwedeDT right off of the arcade machine, and to the floor! Spyke is barely able to drape an arm over Joe for the pin, but he does.
1!
2!
3!
Spyke has done it! Spyke has won! But there is no one to announce the winner. So one of the cameramen takes care of it.
Cameraman: “Your winner, and NEWWWWWWW EWT Toolshed Champion, Spyke Johannson!
(Earl Hebner hands Spyke the Toolshed Title. In a scene reminiscent of Wrestlemania 12, when Shawn Michaels won the WWF Title, Spyke gets on his knees and stares at the title, accomplishing, to that point, the biggest achievment of his career, obtaining EWT gold. A crew member fiddles with some CD’s then puts one in, and plays “Galvanize” but it’s abrubtly cutoff by an angry mom.)
Angry mom: “What in the blue hell is going on?”
Spyke: “Umm, EWT ma’am. It’s all cool.”
(Spyke picks up Joe and helps him out of the building and into a waiting car, Hebner and the cameramen follow suit. Before climbing into the car, Spyke takes another look at his newly won Toolshed Title, and smiles. Spyke climbs into the car, and they pull away, heading back to the EWT Arena. Fade to black/ next segment.)
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