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Post by Moxie loves Natalie on Jul 22, 2006 14:44:02 GMT -5
<We see Moxie standing in the PR LOckerroom, his Tag-Title belt sitting comfortably on his shoulder. HMark walks next to him, Aurae following him.>
<over Moxie's shoulder we see him watching the past few promos>
HMark: Watched the Rated X promo?
Moxie: What What?!
Aurae: The two guys who wanted to challenge for the tag-team titles.
Moxie: ... Oh. I thought you asked if I saw the Rated X Porno. I lent that to Billy, by the way...
HMark: We'll never get it back.
<Aurae raises an eyebrow>
Moxie: Rated X huh?
HMark: Yeah, Chad Michaels and Marty Janetty.
Aurae: Bolt Bacana.
HMark: Who?
Aurae: Bolt Bacana is Chad Michaels partner.
Moxie: Former OX Division Champion, Bolt Bacana.
HMark: That guy...
Moxie: is nothing. Listen. We've got our "open" challenge to the best wrestlers in the world. If they want to answer the call for Crap-a-mania III, I say let them.
HMark: I'll need some time to look it over.
Moxie: Time, My friend... is on OUR side.
<Moxie smirks, and we fade out>
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Post by Koda, Master Crunchyroller on Jul 22, 2006 20:39:33 GMT -5
*Headstrong, by Trapt begins to play*
Koda walks down to the ring with a slight limp and a bandage on his forehead, from the attack by Jester. Koda rolls into the ring and grabs a mic.
Koda: Now, there is a little confusion about who has a chance at qualifying for a qualifier match to decide the 6 men that will face each other at Crap-a-Mania III for a chance at my belt. To make it simple, I already have 6 men picked out, but those 6 men aren't guaranteed a place in the match, oh no, they have to earn it. So, backstage, I have a sign up sheet with 6 spaces on it. The first 6 men to sign it, gets placed in a qualifying match. Starting next week, there will be two qualifying matches each week. That is all.
Koda drops the mic and heads to the back.
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Post by jester on Jul 23, 2006 1:14:32 GMT -5
.:. EWT cameras plunge backstage to a dark room alit with an eerie blue light. A chain link storing unit-like cage can be seen in the background, and which is where the cameras get a close-up of. A figure suddenly moves, thought to be a piece of equipment leaned up against the chain-link cage. The figure, dressed in a familiar Eric Draven Crow Hoody, folds it's arms while stepping into the door way and leaning to the right, against the doorway. The person flicks the hood off and JCJ looks into the camera smiling. .:.
JCJ: I guess people were surprised at what I did to Koda? Well, get used to it. I know I will. I won't rest until that Ox-Division Belt belongs to me. Call me obsessed, but "Obsession" is just another word for Dedication. And I am, dedicated, and I am deceplined. See...During my little mutiliation of the sorry excuse for a champion, Koda Kazar, I got my first real taste of inflicting pain upon a helpless other. And I liked it. Which spells bad news for any and all future opposition I may have. Enjoy the rest of your reign Koda, but come Crap-A-Mania III, to steal a little saying...Survive..If....I Let You...
.:. JCJ brings the hood back to engulf his head in shadow. He raises his fists to show white X's glow against the blue light. JCJ walks past the camera as we fade to commerical. .:.
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Jul 23, 2006 1:41:41 GMT -5
*Spaz is standing backstage with hie title over his shoulder.*
S: It seems you have a rematch Chance. Falls Count Anywhere no less. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. We has a great match at Saturday Night Special & we will have another great match. But the result will be the same, cometh the hour cometh the man Chance. Spaz will put you down again & head onwards to Crap-a-mania as the World Heavyweight Champion.
*Cut To Promo for Crap-a-mania*
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Post by vivian on Jul 23, 2006 11:57:15 GMT -5
Announcer: The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall!
If your happy and you know it clap your hands starts up and the crowd immediately starts booing. Soon after, Vivian runs out from the backstage area.
Vivian: Hello boys and girls! Are you ready to be full glee.... with my squad and me?
Crowd: NO!
Vivian: Awwww... well too bad. Introducing your friends and mine... the SUNSHINE SQUAD!!!
Sal and Hal quickly dash out from the backstage area, jumping up and down with glee, giving each other a high five as they tend to do. The three of them then quickly skip and hop down towards the ring area, Sal and Hal rolling inside as Vivian looks on, smiling quite pleased.
Vivian: ROLL CALL!!!
Sal: Smiley Sal!!!
Sal does a bit of a bunny hop around the ring.
Hal: Happy Hal!!!
Hal starts spinning around really fast in circles for some reason, before getting all dizzy and falling flat on his back. Sal looks down, helping his partner to his feet.
Both: And we are.... THE SUNSHINE SQUAD!!!
The two high five once again, as they then prepare for their opponents. Vivian rolls into the ring with the microphone.
Vivian: Now boys and girls.... if you saw Saturday Night Special, you'd know that the Sunshine Squad has crushed yet another of these other EWT Tag Teams... just adding another notch in our belts. I mean... I'm so happy my boys are doing so well... aren't you?
The crowd answers with many loud boos.
Vivian: I thought so. Now then... as for our unlucky opponents... well, we'll try to go easy on ya fellas... OK?
Just then, Vivian is cut off from saying anymore by a huge pyro, as suddenly Kane starts slowly walking down to the ring, the crowd giving him a nice reaction. He steps into the ring as Sal and Hal wisely duck out. He steps in the center.... raises his arms and brings them down. As soon as he does, the lights dim and his tag partner starts driving down on a motorcycle, to join his tag partner.
Announcer: And introducing the opponents, at a combined weight of 625 pounds... Kane... The Undertaker. The BROTHERS OF DESTRUCTION!!!
Undertaker circles the ring a few times, in biker mode, before finally parking his cycle near the entrance ramp, climbing off and joining Kane in the ring, as the two look out at their opponents on the outside. The squad shows no intimidation it seems though, as they climb into the ring. Kane decides to start things off for his side as Sal and Hal decide by playing Enny Menny Miney Mo... and Sal loses. Hal and Taker exit the ring and get onto the apron as Sal and Kane meet in the center of the ring. The two lock up in the center, with Kane winning... pushing Sal off.Sal looks confused, walking back to the center of the ring and locking up again... but again getting pushed off by the Big Red Machine. He starts to seem a bit frustrated, locking up one more time... only to end this one with a kick to the gut! He turns around, looking over to Hal and seeming quite pleased with himself... little does he know, that kick had no effect. Kane simply grabs Sal by the arm, spins him around and nails him with a throat thrust, sending him stumbling back! Sal groans as Kane pursues, leveling him with one after another, until eventually Sal's locked in the corner of a turnbuckle. Kane simply proceeds to pummel him with a series of punches to the gut area... Sal groaning in pain. Kane eventually sits up, backing off, only to charge full speed for a clothesline! Sal however desperately gets a boot up, only for Kane to catch it... pushing it back down and yanking Sal out of the corner for a lariat! He goes for the cover. 1...2...
Sal kicks out. He slowly sits up as Kane walks over, tagging in his brother. Taker steps over the ropes into the ring as Sal gets back to his feet, turning around. Take then charges right at him, only for Sal to quickly attempt to block with a hip toss, which Taker blocks himself.... nailing Sal with one of his own! Sal gasps in pain, clutching the back area. Seems these two are having a bit of difficulty, seeing that they've never faced another monster tag team before. Taker proceeds to level a prone Sal with some nasty stomps to the chest area, softening him up further. Taker walks over to the neck area, leaping up and hitting a leg drop across the throat! Sal groans, clutching the area as Taker goes for a cover again. 1...2....
Again Sal kicks out. He once again sits up, only for Undertaker to nail him with a standing kick to the face, sending Sal once again rolling along the mat. Taker then walks over, lifting him up for a simple scoop slam, planting him with ease. Hal sighs, reaching out for the tag. Sal sees him do so, quickly crawling over towards the ring corner, only for Taker to snatch a leg... holding him off. Sal growls a bit, using all his power to try and make it to the ring corner. Taker however continues to resist, actually starting to pull Sal back towards his own corner of the ring! The sunshine squad member goes wide eyed, as Taker tags back out to Kane. He lifts Sal up in a Full Nelson as Kane takes advantage, leveling him with another quick series of throat thrusts, Sal helpless in Taker's grasp. After a few of Kane's thrusts, Taker lifts Sal up high, slamming him down with a Full Nelson slam! Sal groans, once again clutching the back. He tries to get back to his feet, only to be stopped by a nasty stomp across the back by Kane. He then rolls him over with a foot, grabbing him by the throat by one hand and choking the life out of him! Sal flails wildly in massive pain. Eventually the referee forces Kane to break the chokehold, which he does.... reluctantly. Sal once again struggles back to his feet, once again trying to tag out.... only for Kane to see this and charge forward after him! Sal however sees this coming, catching Kane in the gut with a knee lift. Kane groans, getting down on both knees as Sal backs up, coming back for a shuffled side kick, smashing the monster right in the face. Kane goes down hard, clutching his face as Sal quickly tags out! Hal walks over to Kane, grabbing him by the legs, signaling to Sal as he climbs atop the turnbuckle. Hal then starts swinging him around Big Swing style! Sal waits for the right moment, leaping off for a leg drop, slamming Kane right in the throat as he comes around! The crowd cringes as Hal then launches the Big Red Machine clear across the ring! Kane groans, clutching his own neck now, as Hal walks over to him, lifting him up and dropping him once again, throat first across the ropes! Kane gets hung up on them as Hal lifts up by the legs, hitting a Hardcore Holly style kick to the inside. He then drops Kane back down, only to shove him into the bottom rope, now choking him with a knee atop his neck. The crowd boos as Hal pulls Kane off, immediately going for a cover. 1....2....
Kane kicks out! Hal looks rather surprised here, but doesn't really care, proceeding to nail some quick stomps once again across the same throat of Kane. After enough, he lifts him back up, dragging him over and tagging in Sal. He then lifts him up for a backdrop suplex, as Sal grabs him by the neck, the two nailing him with a backdrop neckbreaker combo. Kane gasps in pain, immediately sitting up, only to fall victim to double soccer kick to the throat! Hal exits the ring as Sal drags Kane into the center of the ring, sitting on his back and applying a Camel Clutch! Kane acks, as he feels further pressure on his already sore neck. He immediately tries to crawl towards the ropes, but Sal's weight is slowing him down tremendously. Taker steps into the ring to try and break things up, but Hal quickly proceeds to cut him off.... charging and nailing him with a vicious Yakuza kick to the face!
Kane continues to try and inch closer towards the ropes, holding on for dear life to try and not submit to this very painful submission move. Suddenly though, Sal completely breaks the submission. Kane looks a bit confused, until Hal drops a double leg drop across the throat! He yelps in pain, as Sal gets up off him. Both men grab him by a leg, lifting him up high and SLAMMING both knees down into the canvas! They then proceed to do it once again.... and again! Kane is now rolling around on the mat in agony, his vertical base almost completely destroyed. Like the Brothers of the Destruction did with Sal, the Squad is doing the same with Kane. The Big Red Machine groans, rolling onto his back Sal and Hal nod, running off the ropes and nailing a double big splash, engulfing Kane under their combined weight! Sal and Hal both get up, signaling for the end! Taker is back up though, cutting them off with a forearm to the back of Hal's head. He turns around, just in time to experience a vicious flurry of punches, sending him stumbling back! Sal meanwhile attempts the same thing on Kane, only to get blocked himself. Kane then proceeds to nail Sal with a series of punches of his own, both Taker and Kane sending the squad against the ropes! The two men then whip them forward, both men crashing into each other, falling down to the mat. The crowd pops as the two men walk over, reaching down and hoisting them up high, going for a chokeslam on both men! They hoist them high.... and slam them down hard! A two man cover. 1....2....
NO! A double shoulder up by the Squad. Kane and Taker look at each other. They lift them both up, going for a double Scoop Slam, only for both Sal and Hal to slip behind them, grabbing both men in a waist lock and sending them barreling into each other, their skulls colliding! Sal and Hal then spin both men around, pressing them together and... you've gotta be kidding. They lock in the group hug on both men, hoisting them up with ease and wrenching and squeezing the life out of both men! Taker and Kane try to resist like so many other teams, but in the end it's useless and they have no choice but to submit.
Announcer: Here are your winners... the Sunshine Squad!
The Squad theme starts up again as Sal and Hal drop the Brothers, both men panting a bit... but victorious. They slowly exit the ring, heading back up the rampway.
Fade to commercial.
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Post by teamireland on Jul 23, 2006 12:32:03 GMT -5
*Team Ireland are seen sitting in their locker-room backstage. Liam O'Neill excitedly bursts into the room.*
O'Neill: Did you fellas see who we're up against this week? We've got to compete against four guys? That's hardly fair is it? Aidan Donnelly: Who are the four Liam? O'Neill: Triple H, X-Pac & the New Age Outlaws. Coach O'Hare: X-Pac, eh? Don't worry lads. I know how to even up the odds a wee bit.
*Coach O'Hare can be seen talking on a 'phone. He is doing a poor imitation of an American accent.*
O'Hare: ...Uh-huh, that's right a sequel, of sorts. Well, the first one did so well... No, it won't be her... Working title is "One Night in Asya"... shooting starts & wraps this week... Uuuh... in Toronto. A pleasure as always Mr. Waltman.
*O'Hare folds his 'phone up & puts it in his pocket. He smiles at the rest of Team Ireland.* O'Hare: That's one out of the way lads, 3 to go. Hahaha.
*Cut to a Crap-A-Mania promo*
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Post by #Classic Hi-Definition X on Jul 23, 2006 19:52:14 GMT -5
*HBH and Cherry walk up to the match board*
HBH: Ah, I got Chris Jericho this week. Excellent. I used to be a big fan of his way back when, but now I see what a sorry excuse for a human being he really is. And when I get through with that hasbeen and send him back to that never-was band of his, our little Mikey will know exactly why I am the GREATEST Tri-State Champion in history.
Cherry: True, but I've seen some of his pics, and I think he looks really sexy.
HBH: Please. You call THAT sexy? I'm 100x more sexy than Jericho will EVER be.
Cherry: Then why don't you...show me?
HBH: Maybe I will. Let's go.
*HBH and Cherry walk off. They bump into another person*
HBH: Hey! Why don't you watch where we're going?
*The person turns around, revealing himself to be Gasoline. Cherry lets out a scream. Gas stares angrily at HBH and Cherry*
HBH: Whoa, easy there, big guy. We don't want any trouble.
*pause*
HBH: Hey uh, I heard what you said last week, about demanding a title shot against the EWT Champion. Now THAT's what I'm talking about. That's the Gasoline I used to know. If you want something, you have to take it. Put her there, pal.
*HBH holds his hand out for a hi-five, but Gas just stares at him and walks away*
HBH: Gee, I wonder what HIS problem is.
Cherry: Let's get outta here. That guy scares me.
*HBH and Cherry walk off as we cut to the next segment*
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Post by Gasoline: Gen. Tech Member on Jul 23, 2006 20:36:30 GMT -5
Mean Gene: I'm Mean Gene Okerlund, and I'm being joined right now by "Big Daddy" Gasoline. Gas, you've made it clear over the past week or so that you want a shot at the EWT title. So far, the champion Spaz hasn't answered that challenge.
Gas: Well, he obviously has some unfinished business with that Chance Confidence character, so I'll let that slide...FOR NOW. As I've said before, my patience is running out. So let me make this perfectly clear. It doesn't matter who wins the Falls Count Anywhere match, whether it be Chance or Spaz, I'm challenging the winner to put the title on the line at Crap-a-mania. I'm getting sick and sick and tired of waiting for these opportunities to come my way, so I'm firing the first shot. I'll sit back for now, but when that match ends, I'll be waiting and expecting an answer.
MG: And with any luck, you just might get your title shot.
Gas: No, Mean Gene. I WILL get my title shot...even if I have to take drastic measures to do so.
*Gas walks off*
MG: Chilling words from the Gas-powered monster. Now let's get back to the action!
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Post by Banned Member on Jul 24, 2006 2:58:46 GMT -5
*Merc walks up to the sign up sheet out back, and signs his name to compete for the Ox division title grins, and walks away.
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Jul 25, 2006 4:35:44 GMT -5
Bobby Cruiz: The following contest is a Falls Count Anywhere match scheduled for one fall & it is for the EWT Heavyweight Championship of the World!
*Sweetest Perfection plays & Chance heads to the ring. He is making the belt motion around his waist as he struts to the ring. He rolls in & he grabs the mic.*
C: Ladies & Gentlemen it is I the one, the only, the amazing. CHHHHAAAANNNNCCCEEE CCCOOONNN-
*Chance is cut off by Party Starter playing. He looks up the ramp angrily to see Spaz emerging from behind the curtain. He stands at the top of the ramp & soaks up the crowd’s cheers. He starts to walk down to the ring & Chance angrily down to meet him. The two men trade slaps as the ref calls for the bell. Spaz grabs Chance’s arm & he whips him into the barrier. He takes off the title belt from around his waist & he holds it high mocking Chance. He charges at Chance looking to blast him in the head with it but Chance catches him with a low blow. The crowd winces as Spaz drops to his knees. Chance stands & he grins as he grabs Spaz & pulls him to his feet. He lifts him high & slams him down with a Vertical Suplex onto the concrete arena floor. Chance hooks a leg.*
1 2 KICKOUT
*Spaz kicks out after 2 & the crowd starts a Let’s Go Spaz chant. Chance stands & shouts at the crowd. Spaz rolls him up quickly from behind.*
1 2 NO!
*Chance is able to escape. Both men stand & they lock up. Chance gains some leverage & he gets behind Spaz. He then whips him hard Spine first into the ring apron. Chance then rolls Spaz into the ring & he climbs the Turnbuckle. Spaz stands & is met with a Missile Dropkick. Chance grabs Spaz & he tries to lock on a submission move but Spaz blocks it. Chance then rolls out of the ring & he looks underneath. He emerges with a table. He sets it up on the outside & he rolls back in as Spaz gets back to a vertical base. Spaz grabs Chance & quickly hits a Snap Suplex. Spaz quickly floats over the top of Chance & he locks on a Sydney Cloverleaf! Chance is screaming in pain as Spaz pulls back hard. Chance is able to twist & get himself onto his back. Spaz still has hold of his legs & he catapults Chance up & over the top rope. Chance lands on the table but it doesn’t break. Spaz then runs & hits a Springboard Legdrop on Chance through the table!*
Crowd: Holy S&%t Holy S&%t
*Both men are down and the crowd starts up an E-DUB-T chant. Eventually Spaz turns over & drapes an arm across for the cover.*
1 2 NO!
*Chance kicks out. Spaz gingerly rises & pulls Chance to his feet. He whips him into the guardrail & charges. Spaz then clotheslines Chance into the front row. He leaps over the barrier & the two men start to brawl through the crowd. The camera tries to follow as they trade blows. Chance picks up a chair & swings it at Spaz. Spaz ducks it & nails a reverse DDT, Chance’s head bounces off the concrete floor. Spaz drops & hooks the leg for a cover.*
1 2 KICKOUT!
*Chance kicks out Spaz stands & turns, he grabs a chair & raises it over his head but Chance catches him with a low blow. Spaz drops the chair & crumples to the floor. Chance stands & pulls Spaz to his feet. Chance walks through the crowd pulling Spaz along. They end up next to the stage area. Chance whips Spaz into a crate & he poses cockily for the crowd. Spaz grabs him from behind & nails a neckbreaker. Spaz gets up & he climbs up onto the stage. He leaps off looking for an elbow drop but Chance rolls out of the way & Spaz hits the floor hard. Chance stands & pats himself on the back he grabs a chair & he waits for Spaz to rise. As he does he smashes Spaz across the back with the chair. Spaz falls to his knees & Chance hits him again in the same spot, Spaz flops down face first & he screams in pain as Chance rolls him over for a cover.*
1 2 KICKOUT!
*Spaz is just able to kick out. Chance is quick to stand he heads behind a curtain briefly & returns with a fire extinguisher. Chance smashes Spaz in the spine with it & he then holds it across Spaz’s throat, he holds it down with his knee trying to choke him out with it. Spaz is starting to turn blue when he puts his thumb into Chance’s eye. Chance reels back & Spaz is able to spray him in the eyes with the extinguisher. Chance is blinded & he is staggering around. He walks right into a brutal chairshot across the forehead from Spaz! Chance is now busted open & Spaz goes for a cover.*
1 2 NO!
*Chance kicks out! Spaz thought he was done with for sure. Spaz stands & pulls Chance to his feet. Spaz lifts Chance up looking to nail him with The Shockwave but Chance counters it into a Tornado DDT onto the chair! Spaz is now busted open too & both men are down. Chance slowly crawls over & he drapes his arm across Spaz’s chest.*
1 2 NO!
*Spaz is able to get the shoulder up. The crowd goes nuts as they thought Spaz was done for. Both men begin to stir. They return to a vertical base & they both have blood streaming from head gashes. The crowd starts a “Let’s Go Spaz” chant as the two men trade punches. Spaz grabs Chance & levels him with a Shortarm Clothesline. He grabs a table & he sets it up. He lifts Chance up & rolls him onto the table. He then stands on the table & asks the fans in the bleachers above him to pull him up. They help Spaz climb up into the stand. He then stands on top of the guardrail & he signals to the crowd. He leaps off & nails a Shooting Star Press on Chance through the table!*
Crowd: This match rules *clap clap clap*
*Both men look out of it & covered in blood. Somehow Spaz is slowly able to slide over & cover Chance.*
1 2 KICKOUT!
*Chance somehow summons the strength to kick out. Nobody especially Spaz can believe it. Spaz slowly rises & he pulls Chance up. Chance fights Spaz off & whips him down the ramp. Spaz crashes into the guard rail half way down the ramp & Chance staggers after him. He whips him again & he goes chest first into the ring apron. Chance looks under the ring & he pulls out another table. He sets up Spaz on the table. He then climbs the turnbuckle & signals the end is here. He leaps off looking for the Confidence Booster but Spaz is able to roll off the table! Chance goes through the table & now both men are on the floor. Spaz rolls over & covers Chance.*
1 2 NO!
*Chance gets his shoulder up. Spaz stands & picks Chance up. Both men are covered in their own & each other’s blood. Spaz rolls Chance into the ring & he climbs the Turnbuckle. He waits fro Chance to stand & he leaps off looking for a Crossbody but Chance catches him & rolls through!*
1 2 KICKOUT!
*Spaz is just able to kick out in time. Chance rolls out of the ring & he grabs a trash can from underneath. He throws it into the ring & it hits Spaz in the face. Chance rolls in & he takes a bag out from inside the can. He pours out the contents into the ring. Its thumbtacks! Chance picks up Spaz & he looks to Powerbomb Spaz into the tacks! Spaz fights out of it & he rolls through! He is able to lock Chance into the Sydney Cloverleaf! Chance is screaming in pain as Spaz pulls back hard. Chance is desperate & he reaches out & he grabs a street sign out of the trash can. He smashes it into Spaz’s back & he releases the hold. Chance uses the ropes to pull himself up & he grabs Spaz. He looks to set him up for a Powerbomb into the tack again but Spaz blocks it. Spaz fights out of it & he kicks Chance in the gut. Spaz lifts him up & spins around. He plants Chance with The Shockwave into the Thumbtacks! Chance is down & he is shaking uncontrollably. Spaz rolls him over & he makes the cover on top of the tacks.*
1 2 3!
BC: Here is your winner & still EWT Heavyweight Champion of the World Spaz!!
*Party Starter plays & the ref raises Spaz’s lifeless hand. EMT’s rush to the ring to check on both men as we cut to a Promo for Crap-a-mania III.*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Jul 25, 2006 9:54:23 GMT -5
*Back from commercial, as Spaz is standing in the ring now & all is cleared out. Spaz continues to soak in the fans appreciation of his last match when Toom E Dangerously walks out with a microphone in hand.*
Spaz, Spaz, Spaz...once again, a beautiful match. You have been a very fine & worthy champion. And that's why you will be headlining Crap-a-mania III this year. But, the big question remains....just WHO will you be facing.
You see Spaz, I have thought long & hard about this. You need a worthy opponent & you have fought some of the best here in EWT. Hell, you've been in Gauntlet matches, you retained in the first ever TLC Rumble, & you won the title in the Outdoor Elimination Chamber. Which is why @ Crap-a-mania III, I have decided that there won't be any special stipulations on your match. No cages. No gauntlets. No ladders. Just some good old fashion wrestling.
But, you see....I am going to give the fans what they are craving. You are going to give the fans what they are craving. We are going to give the cable company more reasons for the fans to tune in. You see, at Crap-a-mania III, the EWT Heavyweight Championship will be defended against none other then the most worthy opponent out there today. An opponent the fans wanna see...Maelstrom!!!
*The fans boo this decision, as a shocked look comes across Toom E's face.*
Wait just a damn minute. You people have been craving this match for a long time. How dare you people change your minds!!!
*Just then, the fans start chanting in unison for another name.*
Oh, I get it. You folks want somebody else, huh? But if you get that match, you will cause friction in the greatest EWT stable to date...Generation Tech. And if I give it to you, then the blood of their demise will be on YOUR hands, not mine...do you understand. Is that what you people want?
*The fans chant louder.*
FINE!!! Then at Crap-a-mania III, it will be Spaz versus Gasoline for the EWT Heavyweight Championship...
*The fans cheer louder at the excitement of this announcement.*
Versus Maelstrom in a 3-Way Dance.
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Post by pta on Jul 25, 2006 10:13:59 GMT -5
Principal Pain appears backstage, with a smirk on his face. His remaining student... Eddie Omega, is nowhere to be found. There's something quite large behind him, covered by a large sheet... seeming a board of some kind. He smiles.
Pain: Hello my pupils... as you know, Crapmania is soon again approaching us. Last year, I didn't get the opportunity to compete at this event... but the PTA was certainly still in full effect. You see, on that night... Tim " The Toolman " Terror nearly ended the former EWT Superstar Paul Podanski's career. It was a sick... brutal... bloodshed filled event... and I loved watching it. Then it came to me... it gave me the perfect idea for a match at Crapmania 3... assuming Toomi approves himself.
The principal smiles, patting the sheet covered object.
Pain: I spent weeks planning and plotting this match... I devised it as the ultimate endurance test between wrestlers.. and Virus.... Canceler... myself and Omega openly challenge you to accept an invitation... to hell.
The principal quickly rips off the sheet, revealing a chalkboard with three letters written on it. P.S.K.
Pain: IF you decide to accept our challenge for Crapmania... then next week, I'll tell you exactly what you both are in for. Now... if you'll excuse me, I have a match to prepare for with a Mr. Wight...
Pain turns around... simply walking off... as the camera zooms in on the three letters... as if wondering what it means.
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Maelstrom
AC Slater
The Tide Will Turn!
Posts: 236
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Post by Maelstrom on Jul 25, 2006 11:00:26 GMT -5
After a short commercial break we return to ringside along with our hosts Jim Ross and Tazz.
JIM ROSS: Hello Everyone, I'm good ol'JR and this week alongside me is ECW announcer Tazz!
TAZZ: Hey Ross, this week has been off the hook, The Saturday Night Special was one heck of a show and the resulting reactions it has made can be felt all the way through the industry!
JIM ROSS: Have to agree with you there Tazz, the queen of the Mountain match really cemented our position here at EWT as the top place for women wrestling. Whilst we also saw Spaz successfully defend his title against Chance Confidence not once but twice … not to mention ...
Jim Ross is cut off by the arrival of 'Apocalypse Please' it's chords thundering out of the speakers, smoke rises and Maelstrom is here.
JIM ROSS: Good God almighty it's Maelstrom!! ... He isn’t due to face Ratings yet! … What on earth could he be here for?
TAZZ: Serious intensity from this man! Maelstrom has been on a rampage as of late and Spaz is clearly the reason for it!
Maelstrom makes his way to the ring, grabs a mike and prepares to speak to the crowd. The crowd cut him off with chants of 'Maelstrom Sucks!' & 'We won't Turn!'
MAELSTROM: You know every week; I challenge Spaz, Limey or whoever to step up and what happens?
The crowd cheers the names he mentions
MAELSTROM: Nothing!! ... They hide behind that curtain like shrimp in a crevasse hoping to avoid the fisherman’s net!! ...
He points at the backstage curtain area accusingly
MAELSTROM: Every week I tell you people how the Tide is going to change, how wrestlers are going to find themselves crushed under the waves or how the current is too strong for them. But no one answers this challenge. No one! ... Spaz for the last 2 months you have ducked me, stayed away from me! .. Hell you couldn't even interrupt one of my matches to get a cheap shot on me!! ... Your Generation Tech seems to be failing all around you, but I can't get a match against any of them either!! ...
The crowd boos loudly
MAELSTROM: So what have I had to do with my time, I've had to beat up wrestling rejects!! Chris Masters a man who is on more steroids than Scott Steiner and Zack Gowan the legless charity case that walked into a mine-field!
That second comment cause outrage in the crowd, but Maelstrom doesn't care
MAELSTROM: Shut Up! ... If I wanted to fight people with one leg I would have gone down to the local military hospital and kicked the crap out of all the patients! This is not what I want to do ... This is what Spaz is forcing me to do!! The fact is, I had to go to Toomi behind the scenes to get the dammed match booked! … 2 months is a long wait Spaz, but the wrath of the sea can now be completed!
A loud and angry 'Maelstrom sucks!' chant starts
MAELSTROM: I amm the Number one contender for that EWT Heavyweight Title and I will get my chance at it. Oh yeah that's right the last chance you gave someone for a shot was Chance Confidence! ... Well I beat him up, locked him in the icy grip of the ocean, spun him around and put his face through 16 feet of Hell in a Cell!! ... Now where is MY DAMM TITLE SHO...
"Gas Power" hits from the speakers, and there is a huge roar of approval as Gasoline appears. He walks to the ring a mike in hand
JIM ROSS: Looks like Business is about to pick up!!
Gasoline walks over the top rope and enters the ring, Maelstrom holds up one hand
MAELSTROM: Well if it isn't the famous Gas-Powered Monster ... did you get tired of hanging off of Spaz's coat tails? ... or are you here to ask for a splint to fire up your gas filled ass?
Gasoline tries to ignore Maelstrom and his remarks. Gasoline is about to speak but Maelstrom interrupts him again
MAELSTROM: Listen I heard what you said after your match against Heiden-Dorf and his Cheese-sandwich fetish ... I heard alright, you want a title shot from Spaz ... Well the ocean heard your pleas but guess what, they sailed off into the distance never to be heard from again! ... Get to the back of the queue! This is Maelstrom's time to turn it up a gear, not some reject bodyguards moment!! … You can have whats left of Spaz after MY singles match with him!!
The crowd Jeers Maelstrom loudly!
GASOLINE: Are you done yet? Well you are now, so shut up, because I've got something to say. You say it's your time, Maelstrom? That's where you're wrong. I've been sitting back waiting patiently for a title shot. Well the Gas-powered monster waits for nobody anymore! Whatever I want, I will get. Right now, I want a shot at the EWT title. And believe me ….
Gasoline and Maelstrom go nose to nose, clearly a case of trying to intimidate each other, but neither budge.
GASOLINE: … I WILL get it, even if I have to take out some wannabe Poseidon like you to get it!
Maelstrom raises his microphone to his mouth
MAELSTROM: The only thing you will be taking out in the near future is an advertising space for washed up wrestlers! … because your Tide is about to Tu….
Gasoline incensed by his opponents lack of respect throws a punch and we have a full on brawl on are hands here with two giants of the EWT!
TAZZ: You have to believe that Spaz is watching this and thinking that one of these guys could be out of his hair for a while!
The battle spills out of the ring as Maelstrom clotheslines them both over to the floor! ... They pick themselves up and continue to throw lefts and rights!
JIM ROSS: Thank god, Here come the backstage staff to break this up!
The numerous referees try to separate the two big men, but have no luck as they get pushed away. Up the rampway go Maelstrom and Gasoline, knees to the gut, punches to the face, both men are busted open this is getting nasty!
MAELSTROM: The title is mine and mine alone to challenge for!
The crowd is getting into this, most are on Gasoline's side a few have sided with Maelstrom
JIM ROSS: Would someone get off there damm backside in the back and help break this one up!
As if by magic out come Sgt. Slaughter, Dean Malenko, Ricky Steamboat and Arn Anderson. They swiftly pair off to separate these two huge men, Arn and Dean try and hold Gasoline, whilst Ricky and Slaughter attempt to pull Maelstrom away!
TAZZ: This is off the charts!! .. these two are fighting off the people trying to separate them!
Maelstrom connects with a back elbow to Ricky sending him down, meanwhile Dean gets a clothesline for his trouble. Arn continues to try and stop Gasoline, but gets a boot to the mid-section! .. Gas Bomb!! ... Maelstrom has Slaughter up high ... Vortex Drop!!! ... All four would be keepers of the peace are out for the count on the rampway. The refs back off as Maelstrom and Gasoline go at it once more!! ... Gasoline with a forearm, Maelstrom responds with a headbutt sending Gasoline up the gantry to the top of the stage!
JIM ROSS: This is the most heinous fighting I have seen since the days of Bruiser Brody and Abdullah the Butcher!!
Maelstrom has found a chair, he swings at Gasoline! ... Keerrrrthwackkk!! ... Steel meets steel as Gasoline ducks the savage attack! … Gasoline throws a punch at Maelstrom making him drop the chair! ... They continue to fight!
TAZZ: Here comes Mr. 720, Chris Evans! This guy has guts trying to step in between these two!
JIM ROSS: This kid is unlike the veterans before him though; he is a current EWT superstar! Chris Evans has to sort this out before someone gets injured!
Chris Evans rushes out from the back and gets in between the two monsters who want nothing more than to beat each other to a bloody pulp. Chris is trying to calm them down but Maelstrom and Gasoline are just not listening! Maelstrom palms Chris Evans to the floor and clobbers Gasoline! … Chris Evans comes back and tries to get in the way again but this time Gasoline grabs him in a full nelson and throws him away! Maelstrom takes advantage and nails Gasoline with a big boot to the face, Gasoline goes down. Maelstrom smirks as he prepares to pick up Gasoline!
TAZZ: Evans sure isn’t backing down! Look at him get right in Maelstroms face!
Maelstrom tries to push past but Evans refuses, and then cracks a fist across Maelstroms face!! … Maelstrom holds his chin, he can’t believe it!! … Maelstrom angrily grabs Evans by the throat and then sets him up for the Whirlpool!! No Gasoline is back up and he has grabbed Maelstrom from behind and launched him off the stage with Evans still on the his shoulders!! … THRRAAASMMAAASHH!!
TAZZ: No Way!!
JIM ROSS: With god as my witness they are broken in half!!
TAZZ: This doesn’t look good! … Not good at all!
Maelstrom and Chris Evans have been thrown off the stage and landed sickeningly on the floor 16ft below. Chris Evans fall was broken by a table and is moving, but Maelstrom is face down amidst the concrete floor and debris. EMT’s run out to check on the two men as Gasoline stands on top of the stage staring down at the wreckage, his face busted open. Sum Guy comes out from the back to get some words from Gasoline.
SUM GUY: Hi everyone I’m Sum Guy and I want a gumball machine for Christmas! … Gasoline you just chucked two men off a 16ft platform!! … Surely you didn’t mean for this fight to end like this?
GASOLINE: I told Mean Gene, I told these fans, and now I’ve told Maelstrom! I’m taking Drastic measures to get what I want Sum! … Drastic measures!!
Gasoline then turns away from the carnage and walks to the back. Down in the area below and we see Maelstrom being taken away by stretcher, a support on his back, his face bloody beyond recognition. Chris Evans is on his feet, but is being helped to the back by Dean Malenko. The crowd starts up a “Holy crap!” chant as we cut to commercial.
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,390
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Jul 25, 2006 11:32:01 GMT -5
"Mr. 720" Chris Evans is still being helped to the back by Dean Malenko when he runs into Matt Hardy.
V.1: Hey, smart plan. Injure yourself so you can duck Matt Hardy, V OOOOONNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-AH!!!!!
Evans: Jesus tap dancing Christ. Don't you worry EMO Boy, I'll be there. Just get ready to have your ass handed to you once you get hit with the 720 DDT.
Hardy: Fat chance bucko. I'm going to win, and go on to become famous here in the EWT.
Evans: We--Hey Jeff!
Hardy: Where?!
*Just then, Evans gives him a kidney shot and picks him up before hitting the Suspended Blief right on the concrete. Hardy is down as Evans looks right at him.
Evans: Hey Hardy, you better not back down from our match later on because of a little thing like a concussion.
Malenko: Thanks. Couldn't stand the little bastard.
Evans: Same here.
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Jul 25, 2006 13:57:01 GMT -5
*Spike Dudley's music plays as Spike, with his three-foot goatee, enters the arena.*
LILLIAN: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Making his way to the ring, from Dudleyville...Spike DUDLEY!
*As Spike steps into the ring, High Voltage plays, and the crowd pops as Mike Ragnal enters.*
LILLIAN: And his opponent, from Scranton, PA, weighing in at 245 lbs...Mike RAAAGNAAAL!
*Mike gets into the ring, and stands atop the middle turnbuckle to pose for the audience. As he steps down, he turns to Spike dudley, who has already started running and hits a high knee to Mike's face, sending him back into the corner. Spike chops across Mike's chest, allowing the crowd to go "WOOO!" Spike positions himself with his head in front of Mike's torso, ramming into it several times. Spike stops, then whips Mike towards the opposite corner, but Mike counters the whip, pulls Spike into him, and delivers a lariot to Little Spike. Mike runs to the ropes, bounces off the midrope, and delivers a Lionsault into a legdrop to Spike's throat. Mike goes to pin.*
1! 2!
*Spike kicks out. Mike climbs to the turnbuckle, already going for the High Voltage, but Spike grabs him while he's still climbing, and tugs him off the turnbuckles. Spike mounts himself on top of Mike and punches his face repeatedly until the ref pulls him off. Spike argues with the ref for taking him off his opponent, and Mike is standing up as this goes on. Spike see Mike stand up, and kicks him in the gut, puts him in a headlock, and runs off the turnbuckles for a Dudley Dog, but Mike is able to regain himsel, and turns Spike's Dudley Dog into a protobomb. Mike climbs the ropes and nails the High Voltage, then goes to pin.*
1!2!3!
*The bell rings, and Mike is declared the winner. Mike is handed a mic right afterwards.*
MIKE: August 27th, Bret. Remember the date. Because that's Crapamania 3. That's the night you face ME for the Tri-State title. And that's the night I TAKE. YOU. DOWN!
And THAT'S the Shocking Truth!
*And with that, Mike leaves the ring as High Voltage plays through the arena.*
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,390
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Jul 25, 2006 16:40:55 GMT -5
*Note, I had written the Hardy/Evans match before, but I was logged out before I could post it. So, here's a make-up match. Enjoy *Without Fear plays throught the arena as Evans makes his way to the ring. He gets a few cheers and boos, and slides into the ring. Evans then poses for the crowd before taking the microphone from Jeremy Boreass. Evans: Boreass, I want to let you know that I'm sorry for what I've been doing so far. Y'know, the whole thing where I make fun of you and take the microphone. Boreass: Really? Wow, you're really a great guy. Evans: Yeah, I am. So for the fans at home, why don't you take a bow. Evans then low-blows Boreass to the delight of the IWC fans. Boreass is on the mat, still holding his "shrunken soldiers" as Evans starts talking again. Evans: Who am I kidding, YOU STILL SUCK!!!! Now, the following contest is scheduled for ONE-FALL! Already in the ring, weighing in at 218 lbs., reppin' the ATL, Mr. 720, Chris Evans!!!!! OOOOOOH YEEEEEEAAAAAA Monster Magnet's "Live for the Moment" hits, and Matt Hardy makes his way out, with whatever heat he may have left. Matt makes his way down to the ring as Evans keeps on talking. Evans: And my opponent, from Carmen, San Diego, or someplace, weighing in at......100 lbs. or so........MATT "EMO" HARDY!!!! Hardy: HEY!! Evans: Who are you kidding, you're EMO all the way. Hardy: ............yeah okay. Evans: So, can we- Hey Lita! Hardy: Whuh?! As Hardy turns around, Evans hits him in the same kidney and hits the Suspended Belief once again!!! Hardy is down now as Evans goes to the outside. He checks under the ring and pulls a ladder out before he sets it up near the announcers table. Evans quickly climbs the ladder and does a taunt before leaping off and hitting the 720 DDT on an unsuspecting Hardy!! Evans then locks in the Force Of Nature on impact, and Hardy taps out like crazy!! -----Ding Ding Ding!----- Evans grabs the microphone and starts to speak. Evans: Here is your winner, the Human Hurricane, Mr. 720, Chris Evans!!! Evans then looks at a downed Hardy. Evans: And I used to look up to you. What a fool I was. *Without Fear hits as Evans poses for the fans....
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Post by teamireland on Jul 25, 2006 17:06:10 GMT -5
*A Rocked-up version of "Amhrán na bhFiann" plays over the EWT sound system as "The Celtic Giant" Shane Malone storms the ring. Knocking Evans down with a clotehsline to the back of the head. Coach O'Hare is accompanying Malone to the ring, with a mic in hand.* O'Hare: That's it, lad! Beat the s***e clean out of him! We've seen enough of all these newcomers leap-frogging Team Ireland in our quest for titles. The most effective way to deal with them is to take out every newcomer who might get to a title before one of my lads!
*Evans is still a bit groggy from Maelstrom's attack earlier & unable to do much to defend himself against Malone's assault.*
O'Hare: [stepping into the ring] Do you get it Evans? We're taking you & anyone else who could potentially get in our way out of the picture!
*Malone picks Evans up & nails him with the "Irish Car Bomb" (sit-out Awesome Bomb). O'Hare spits on Evans & slaps him in the face.*
O'Hare: You may be able to ahndle Matt Hardy, but YOU WILL NEVER BEAT THE IRISH!
*A Rocked-up version of "Amhrán na bhFiann" plays again as Coach O'Hare & Malone drape the Irish tricolour over the body of Chris Evans.*
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Post by chanceconfidence on Jul 25, 2006 17:35:34 GMT -5
We almost immediately cut to commercial afterwards.
The scene goes up to a bunch of bored kids sitting around the house. Suddenly, their mom walks in.
Mom: hey kids... what's the metter?
Son: Awww gee mom... I'm tired of the same old Wrestling DVDs... I mean, who cares about people like Samoa Joe or John Cena.
Daughter: Yeah... I want a wrestling DVD that I can actually stand watching. Is there any possible way one could exist?
The mom reaches into her purse.
Mom: Well actually kids... I have this one right here!
Mom holds up a cop of Chance Confidence.... Perfection Personified.
Kids: YAY!
Son: Chance Confidence rules... he totally rocks my socks and rolls my... shoe soles? * Suddenly starts talking in a gruff voice * Ugh... do I really have to say thi....
* cut *
Daughter: Yeah. chance Confidence is so dreamy too... I wish I could marry him and grow up on a pony farm!
The daughter bends down as a wig falls off, leaving her bald.
Daughter: Oh wait... that's no...
* cut again *
Voice outta nowhere: That's right kids... Chance Confidence finally has a DVD you can be proud of. Even Toomi Bischoff himself endorses this product!
Cut to Toomi's office, showing him staring directly at the screen.
Toomi: * Monotone * I wholeheartedly endorse this EWT toy, video game, dvd, or other miscelleneaous product.
Voice: Way to go boss! So you know if the boss of the company who made it endorses it... it has to be good!
Cuts back to the two kids.
Son: Let's go watch it right now!
The two run off to a living room like set, walking over and putting the disc in a DVD player... only for the thing to do absolutely nothing. The son growls and tries to force the thing in... when suddenly the DVD player catches fire and sparks to shoot out.
Daughter: Ahhh... what the?! That's not in the script!
Some technical service guy runs up.
Tech guy: Oh no... the DVD somehow caused the machine to malfunction... it's gonna blo...
* cut again * We cut back to a badly scorched set... with bodies lying around and twitchign in pain. Seems the DVD player set fire to the whole place... including all the workers. Chance Confidence walks up to the camera.
Chance: C'mon... you know you want to buy my DVD... I'd buy one if you made it.... of course i wouldn't watch it or anything, I'd probably trash your piece of junk the second I brought it...
* cut again *
Voice: Buy it todaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.... * pants * aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....aaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!! Man I need a glass of water...
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Post by Rick Raskall on Jul 25, 2006 17:48:55 GMT -5
GORILLA MONSOON: Welcome back to the action! We have another EWT match coming up next, as we have "The Birdman" Koko B. Ware in action tonight!
BIRDMAN!!
Koko B. Ware comes strutting down the ramp doing the Birdman dance, with Frankie on his shoulder.
HOWARD FINKEL: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Making his way to the ring, being accompanied by Frankie, from Union City, Tennessee, weighing in at 229 pounds, Koko B. WARE!
MONSOON: And here comes the Birdman! Look at the fans in the audience, they're all doing the Birdman dance!
BOBBY "THE BRAIN" HEENAN: I can't stand that dance, Gorilla. Do you know he once tried to get me to do that in public? I can't tell you how embarrassing that was.
MONSOON: Well Brain, you're not exactly a dancing queen, are you?
HEENAN: What did you call me?
He's so sexyyy... I am the sexy... He's so sexyyy... So vurry sexy... He's so sexyyy... You want the sexy... Meet you today, have you home by tonight
MONSOON: And here comes Sexy Dynamo, Brain! He managed to put away Iron Mike Sharpe last week, but this week he's got a real challenge in Koko B. Ware!
HEENAN: I really don't get the appeal of this guy, Monsoon. Another guy prancing around pretending to be a ladies man. He's no Ravishing Rick Rude, I'll tell you that much.
MONSOON: Well, regardless of what his demeanor is outside of the ring, he's got to show his wrestling skills to succeed here in the Extreme Wrestlecrap Threaderation..and oh, look at this.
Sexy Dynamo takes a rose and gives it to a young woman in the front row. She swoons at him.
HEENAN: There he goes again with that rose.
MONSOON: That's his trademark, Brain. Women love getting flowers.
HEENAN: Yeah, until they wilt.
MONSOON: Will you stop, Bobby!
The bell rings. Koko runs at Dynamo. Dynamo leapfrogs over Koko. Koko runs back at Dynamo, who backflips over Koko and then dropkicks him out of the ring.
MONSOON: Wow, look at that agility! An amazing series of moves!
Dynamo blows a kiss to the audience at Koko re-enters the ring. They lock up, with Dynamo putting on a headlock. Koko takes him down, and Dynamo kips up out of the hold. He gets to his feet and claps his hands.
MONSOON: Both men get to their feet.
They lock up again. Koko pushes Dynamo into the ropes, then whips him across the ring. He misses a clothesline, and Dynamo springboards off the ropes with a crossbody, taking down Koko.
MONSOON: And what a maneuver right there! He takes down Koko!
Koko gets to his feet. Dynamo whips him to the ropes. He misses a clothesline, then drops to a prone position as Koko jumps over him. Koko misses a clothesline, and comes back off the ropes. Dynamo comes back at him and nails a floatover reverse DDT. He goes for the cover.
1...2...kickout.
MONSOON: Just barely getting the kickout there!
HEENAN: He's showing off some impressive moves!
With Koko still down, Dynamo hits a standing flipping senton, then in one fluid motion, he rolls to his feet, leaps up to the top rope, and hits the springboard corkscrew moonsault!
MONSOON: What an impressive maneuver by the Dynamo!
HEENAN: He was really up there!
1...2...3!
MONSOON: And an impressive victory here by Sexy Dynamo!
HOWARD FINKEL: Here is your winner...Sexy Dynamo!
HEENAN: With skills like that, he can go a long way in the Extreme Wrestlecrap Threaderation. If he could just stop showing off to the ladies and making a bigger deal out of himself than he should, he'll be a big star.
MONSOON: He's already generated a strong female fan base Brain, and when you've got the fans behind you, you're practically unstoppable! ... Sexy Dynamo has a microphone now, and he's about to address the EWT fans.
SEXY DYNAMO: (with cheesy Latino accent) 'Ello, my sexy ones.
Some women scream with delight.
SEXY DYNAMO: I am sure zat most of you are awarr of mah name by now, and zat is ze Sexy Dynamo, yes? You've seen me fly, you've seen me woo ze lovely ladies, and soon you will zee me holding...how-do-you-say...ze championship gold. My lovely ladies love ze shiny things, you see, and nothing is shinier zen an EWT championship belt. Ze winning of ze championship titles would be absolutely magneeficent.
Because everything is magnificent...when you're sexy.
MONSOON: Sexy Dynamo making a statement here tonight! He's here to break hearts and win gold, and based on what I've seen of him so far, EWT championship giold should not be far out of reach!
HEENAN: But he's still a rookie, Monsoon. You can't expect him to vault over guys like Spaz and Koda Kazar and the Ragnals just because he can do a couple of flips. You've got to earn your way up the ladder.
MONSOON: That's true Brain, but I see Sexy Dynamo climbing up that ladder pretty quickly! Off we go to Sean Mooney at the Event Center!
HEENAN: Gorilla, this is EWT. There's no Sean Mooney, and there's no Event Center. So cut it out.
MONSOON: My apologies, ladies and gentlemen. It becomes a force of habit after awhile.
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Curly Long
AC Slater
Midget Wrestling Master
Posts: 234
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Post by Curly Long on Jul 25, 2006 18:35:59 GMT -5
Curly Long is backstage watching the recent advert, he chuckles at the thought of a Chance Confidence dvd. He then turns around and pulls out the latest playboy. Sum Guy approaches him
SUM GUY: Hello everybody I'm ...
Curly nips up and takes the microphone off Sum
CURLY: Hold it there Sum, do you really think these people want to know another stupid fact about you? ... So you got up at 2pm today, you love baseball, you were scared of the tiger at the zoo today, you got lucky last night and had a threeway with two strippers .... but then found out they were men!
Sum Guy tries to get the mike back but Curly is too quick, Sum
CURLY: They don't care, I don't care, the lady boys you slept with don't care!! .... What these people do care about is me "The Midget King" and my upcoming title shot against Koda Kazar for the OX division title.
In a rare moment of attitude Sum Guy takes the mike from Curly firmly!
SUM GUY: You can't talk to me like that I'm a valuble part of EWT! ... Now why should we care about this match up of yours, no doubt you will lose, probably by disqualification again ... in fact why should we care at all about some upstart midget from the circus?
Curly is shocked at this, and kicks Sum guy in the shin before taking the mike back
CURLY: I'll show you why you should respect the grandest of all Midgets!!
Curly hits Sum Guy in the skull with a jumping headbutt! .. Sum Guy doubles over onto the shoulders of Curly Long. CURLY CREAMER!! ... Sum guy is out for the count .. Curly picks up the mike and grabs an EMT person
CURLY: Get this guy out of here!
The EMT carries Sum Guy away. Curly turns back to the camera
CURLY: The OX division title is a prestigious title of the EWT .. and who better than the Midget King to have it! .. Koda I'm coming to that ring with the sole purpose of ending your reign anyway I can! ... this was a warning from the rudest, crudest, lewdest midget wrestler of all time! Curly Long!!
Curly walks off ... just as we fade out some jungle drums can be heard in the distance
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