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Post by Banned Member on Mar 9, 2007 0:10:30 GMT -5
*Merc walks up to Eddie.*
Merc: So you want a title match huh?
EO: Ya th....
Merc: Shut the hell up. What make you think you deserve a shot at Mercs title!!! You see Eddie you think your all big, and tough, but no you had to fester, and be your always little annoying self.
E.O: Merc What the f....
OL: MERC IS GONE!!! There is the Outlaw!! you had to call me out didn't you boy!! You couldn't let me rest. I was happy riding my horses, but you wouldn't let me die!!! So on behalf of Merc. I will defend his title. In a good old Texas hardcore street fight!
*Outlaw scratches his chin for a sec>8
EO: What the hell is that?
OL: Whats that? WHATS THAT??!! Very simple all the weapons are good old west items, and to win you gotta hang ya foe up off the noose on top of that dar Craptron! So Eddie you go run to that low life scum Toom, and maybe he'll be real nice to ya, and grant ya that match, but I wish you luck. Your gonna need it!! Yeeeehhhaaawwww!!
*Outlaw spits a wad of tobacco spit in Eddies face, and walks off laughing.*
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Ass Dan
King Koopa
Curious about extra lines
Have you seen me?
Posts: 12,259
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Post by Ass Dan on Mar 9, 2007 14:36:13 GMT -5
*BACKSTAGE*
"Elementicidal" Mike Ragnal is lacing his boots as Joe One walks up to him.
One: Hello, Mr. Ragnal.
Ragnal: What, are you here to try and sympathize with me, too?
One: I sympathize with no man. I just wanted to tell you that...I'm pulling for you against Merc. He and I have unfinished buisness.
Ragnal: You're telling me? I have unfinished buisness with almost everyone.
One: I plan on having buisness with everyone until I am EWT World Heavyweight Champion.
Ragnal: Man.
He thinks for a second.
Ragnal: I tell you what. When I beat that chump Merc, I'll make sure you are the first guy who gets a title shot.
Joe One stares into space, not making clear his intentions facially. Finally, he turns back.
One: I accept your offering.
Ragnal: You're welcome.
Mike Ragnal turns to walk away.
One: HOWEVER, there is one thing I want to make clear.
Ragnal turns back.
Ragnal: Yes?
Joe One violently points a finger at Mike Ragnal.
One: This is not an alliance between the Ministry of Peace and the Cidal Squad. Minipax is meant for perserving the EWT, not destroying it.
Ragnal: (sighs to self) Understood.
Mike Ragnal leaves the area. Suddenly, Sum Guy appears.
Guy: I'm Sum Guy, and...
Joe One knocks him down with a lariat.
Guy: ...I think I need to go to the E.R.
One walks away as we head back to the ring for more exciting EWT action! Or, perhaps, not.
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Post by SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman on Mar 9, 2007 14:51:00 GMT -5
*Kurt Angle' s theme can be heard through the speakers.*
Announcer : Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for ones fall ! Introducing first, from Pittsburgh, weighing in a 220 lbs... KURT ANGLE !!
*Kurt Angle takes place into the ring and waits for the arrival of his opponent. "Otherworld" starts playing.*
Announcer : And his opponent, from Strasbourg, France, weighing in a 218 lbs... A Darkness In The Light... MYYYYSTH !!
*Kurt Angle doesn' t wait and immediately hits Mysth as he was climbing the ropes and makes him fall down on the floor. The ref asks for the bell to start. As Mysth is getting back on his feet, Kurt jumps over the top rope and lands right on Mysth ! Then he grabs Mysth by the hair and knocks his head against the steel steps ! Seeing that the referee has started to count for the count-out, Kurt slides into the ring. At the count of 7, Mysth joins him. Kurt Angle tries to take him down immediately with a Clothesline, but Mysth dodges it, Kurt bounces and Mysth grabs his throat ! He' s ready for the Mystherious Ways ! But Kurt Angle counters by headbutting Mysth ! Then Kurt Angle tries for HIS finisher and prepares the Angle Slam but Mysth slides behind him and hits a German Suplex ! The crowd applauds this performance !
Now Mysth Irish whips Kurt Angle to a turnbuckle. He runs at Kurt for a clothesline but Kurt Angle kicks him in the face ! Now the two men are exchanging punches, the crowd yelling "WOOOO !!" at each hit. Eventually, Mysth manage to grab Angle for a Headlock, but he is quickly countered with a Back Suplex ! Kurt Angle then applies an Armbar on Mysth who' s on the ground. After several seconds of pain, Mysth finally manages to get his arm out of the hold.
Now that they' re up, the two men lock up and Mysth manages to hit a Swing Neckbreaker. Mysth runs to the ropes and hits a Shining Wizard on Kurt Angle ! Now that Angle is lying on the ground, Mysth performs a Mahistrol Cradle !*
ONE...
TWO...
KICK OUT !!
*They get back up and Mysth runs at Angle for a Headscissors Takedown ! Then, he applies a Sharpshooter ! Mysth applies it well but you can' t keep a submission master like Kurt Angle in a submission hold for very long and Angle gets out of it easily. Angle gets up quickly and applies a Front Face Lock ! Now this is harder for Mysth to get out of it, but after several seconds, he manages to grab the ropes, forcing Kurt Angle to release him. But Mysth is in the ropes, showing his back to Kurt Angles, who performs a German Suplex ! And a second one ! And a third !! Angle goes for the cover !*
ONE...
TWO...
THR-KICK OUT !!
*Just at the last moment ! Mysth is slowing getting back up, but Angle grabs him by the hair and Irish whips him... but Mysth bumps into the referee ! They' re both lying on the ground now, and Kurt Angle wastes no time, he gets Mysth back to his feet and hits a German Suplex that throws Mysth over the top rope !! Angle gets out of the ring and grabs Mysth again, but Mysth comes back sooner than expected and punches Angle in the guts and manages to get out of the Angle' s hands ! Now he grabs Angle' s head and smashes it against the ring ! And now he Irish whips him to the steel steps !! Mysth sends Kurt Angle back into the ring, and seeing that the ref is still down, he looks for a weapon. He grabs something and gets it out of under the ring and is astonished to see that it is... an old bottle ? An old bottle covered with dust and webs; and it' s supposed to be a bottle of rhum, but it obviously contains water ! Anyway, Mysth slides into the ring and as Kurt Angle is getting up, he gets ready to hit him with the bottle... which suddenly explodes !! Pieces of glass are thrown and Mysth is splashed with the water. Fortunately, Mysth' s mask protected most of his face from the glass, but he is cut at several unprotected parts of his face and is covering his face with his hands and doesn' t pay attention to Kurt Angle who rushes at him and hits the ANGLE SLAM !! Kurt Angle sees that the ref is waking up and covers Mysth !*
ONE...
TWO...
THREE !!
DING DING DING !!
Announcer : Here is your winner... KURT... ANGLE !!
*Kurt Angle leaves the ring and celebrates. On the ring, Mysth is slowly waking up and, among the debris of the bottle, his hand finds a piece of paper ( wait a minute, I don' t think this paper in the bottle when Mysth took it from under the ring ! ), he looks at it... a black spot...
...
CUT TO COMMERCIALS !!*
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Post by pta on Mar 9, 2007 14:51:35 GMT -5
An annoying buzz goes off as X-pac's classic theme starts up, the crowd getting ready by unleashing their X-Pac Heat in reply as he jumps out from the back, crotch chopping and all, before strutting down to the ring.
Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Minneapolis, Minnesota, weighing in at 213 pounds, X-Pac!
Pac quickly enters the ring, stepping into the center, then doing his three crotch chops, resulting in a pyro going off for some reason as he drops down doing his signature taunt. As he gets back up, Pomp and Circumstance starts up as his opponent heads out.
Announcer: The opponent, accompanied by Principal Pain, now residing in Dover Delaware, weighing in at 226 pounds, Tutor Tyreese!
Tyreese indeed steps out, as Pain follows from close behind, the two looking quite confident, as the crowd boos them silly. They start to stepping down the ramp-way, as Pac bounces around, warming up a bit. Tyreese hops onto the apron, climbing inside, looking at Pac with a rather disgusted look as he walks over to the center of the ring. Pac answers with... what else, a crotch chop, as Tyreese jumps back, covering his eyes. Pain enters his corner, folding his arms and watching silently as the bell sounds.
Pac starts by unleashing a flurry of quick roundhouse kicks, Tyreese staggering a bit, as X Pac goes a jumping neck-breaker, quickly being thrown off, but rolling as he hits the ground, back to his feet, bouncing off the ropes, coming back and catching him with a jumping wheel kick! Tyreese goes down, as Pac is back up, going for a spinning leg drop, which Tyreese rolls out of the way of. As he gets to his feet, Pac tries for a dropkick, which the Tutor ducks underneath. Pac hits the mat, quickly getting back to his feet, only to get swept back off as Tyreese grabs him for a double leg take down. He immediately jumps, grabbing him by the leg and smashing it into the mat, then proceeding to do this again, before grabbing it and setting it atop his shoulder, as he applies a Racked Leg Lock. However, Pac maneuvers on the mat, grabbing a leg and pulling Tyreese down, breaking the hold. He quickly gets to his feet, not too affected, as he pulls Tyreese off the mat, right into a Snap Suplex, going right into a cover. 1...2
Tyreese easily kicks out. Pac hmmmms, as he gets back up, starting to unleash some kicks to the skull as the Tutor sits up, as he now guards the face instinctively, eventually going back down on his back. Pac pulls him up, positioning him for a Hangman's Neck-breaker, but before he can, Tyreese grabs him, launching him with a Release German Suplex! Pac lands on his feet though, charging right at the Tutor again, only to be taken down with a Snapmare, Pac once again rolling through, as Tyreese simply grabs him again by the neck, dropping him with a Sleeper Drop! Pac groans, kneeling now, as Tyreese now leans across, locking a leg scissors on one leg, wrapping arms around the other and applying a Leg Split Hold!
Pac gasps in pain, as Tyreese applies the move, Pac desperately reaching back now, grabbing Tyreese's neck and applying a hold of his own as Tyreese gasps, quickly breaking the submission. Pac groans, getting to his feet, only for Tyreese to clinch on and take him down to the mat again with a Leg Lace! He hops up, grabbing the knee and smashing it into the mat once again, before pulling up, yanking it up, then back down hard! Pac gasps again as Tyreese now grabs the same leg, holding the other down with a foot, pushing back hard on it as he applies a standing version of the Leg Split, Pac grimacing a bit, as Tyreese continues to push harder and harder on the leg, seeming to be trying to snap it in half! Pac struggles to not escape, slowly leaning up now and delivering some fists to Tyreese's face, as he gasps in pain, loosening the hold, Pac eventually escaping it. Tyreese hmmms, backing up and watching the rising Pac, waiting for his moment, as he stands up, diving for a Knee Clip! Pac however somehow senses it, leaping up and catching Tyreese with a Double Footed Stomp to the back! The Tutor grimaces again as Pac limps off a bit, nursing the leg, but waiting. The tutor is back up, as Pac goes for a kick, which he catches. Pac then goes for an Enziguri, which gets ducked as Tyreese completely drops him, hopping onto his back and clinching on the Class Dismisser! Pax screams out in pain, tapping like a baby immediately as the bell rings, Tyreese keeping the hold on a bit before he lets go.
Announcer: Here is your winner... Tutor Tyreese!
Tyreese looks down, giving a rather condescending look, as he slowly exits the ring, arms folded behind his back, as Pain nods with approval, the two quickly exiting the back as Pax lays there on the mat, clutching at his leg still... in massive pain.
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Post by Ultimo Chocula on Mar 9, 2007 15:05:57 GMT -5
"And now a message from His Royal Highness, The King of EWT, Ultimo Chocula...."
(The shot is UC behind a podium, wearing his neon crown and cape over a lime green 70's tuxedo. Behind him is his crown logo and on the front of the podium is the EWT logo. He opens his spit faucet.)
UC: "Hello there, one and all, and welcome to a special speech from your royal majesty.............and it's me! First off, I'd like to thank you all for your overwhelming support of myself and The Daryl Dragon last Sunday at March 4th. We may not have come out on top, but we done ya proud! And we will continue to do so at Dead Man Walking when we, Ultimo Dragon, go two on fifteen versus The Umberhulk and his new tag team partner Mr. Fat. I don't know about you, my fine Choconauts, but is anyone really scared of these two? Not I! No sir! You see kiddies, it doesn't matter who The Umberhulk gets as his partner! Whether it be that sawed off runt Curly Fries or this collection of burger meat and loose phlegm that's supposed to pass as a human being! It all ends up the same! Another notch in the win column for Ultimo Dragon! I should know these things because I'm the king! Smart is the head that wears the crown! Us over them, even if that one guy is the size of a planet and has his own gravitational pull! Bet on it!"
"And speaking of planets, there's this noob who showed up on TV recently during some talk show blizz blazz hosted by that noodnick tag team PCP. I don't know if you've heard of him (I sure as hell haven't) but his name is Apple Jacks Jupiter..............or something. I didn't see it. I was briefed by Tennille. Anyhoo, this lemon sucking bozo waltzes up out of the blue, he hasn't wrestled match one in the EWT, he's got the charisma of a sack of wet pretzels, and he's got the guff to challenge me, ME!, your lord and savior, to a match of my choosing. Lemmee ask you this, rookie! Are you *BEEP!*ing high? You have to be! Do you know who I am? I'm the *BEEP!*ing king of this whole operation! What's the matter? My crown not big enough? Did the big purple cape confuse you? Punk, you ain't done jack to impress me! Hell, I don't even know what you look like! Where the hell do you get off calling me out? Huh? Well guess what, turd! Today's your lucky day! Not only do I accept your lame ass little challenge, I'll even give you the stipulation! But first, a witty anecdote."
"As everyone knows, I'm kind of a big deal in France. Jerry Lewis and me. The only Americans they like. Once every three months or so I like to go out there and do shows with the Zoot Allures Wrestling promotion. My last trip out I was backstage talking with a good friend of mine, Lucky Pierre, and he said to me, he said, (fakes a bad French accent), "Ulteemo, I am zo zeeck and tired of ze Frahnch ztereoh type zat we are all a bonch of zurrendehr muhnkees." (normal voice) And I said to him, I said, "I am too, but you can use that to your advantage if you work it just right." Naturally he was curious and we came up with the bestest damn match type in the world! In fact, he challenged his opponent that night to the very same stipulation and I'll be damned if the crowd didn't eat it up like cheese on a baguette! Once again, I come through with the goods and now I pass those very goods on to you, the EWT audience. (calling from off stage) Daryl, the white flag, if you please!"
(Daryl Dragon comes into view carrying a white flag and stands next to UC.)
UC: "Here's the stipulation, Apple Jacks! We will be having ourselves an "I Surrender" match! That's right! This isn't the same thing as an "I Quit!" or submission match. No, this is quite different. Here's how it plays! Both of us will have our representatives in our corners during the match. I, of course, will have The Daryl Dragon, and I assume you're going to drag your greasy brother in on this. As you may have guessed, pinfalls, submissions, countouts, DQ's, they don't mean *BEEP!* The only way to win the match is to beat the ever loving snot out of your opponent so badly that their representative waves the white flag thusly. Show 'em Daryl."
(Daryl takes the flag and waves it back and forth for a few seconds and stops.)
UC: "That is the only time anyone will ever see Daryl wave the white flag, because we're not giver uppers! So whataya think, pip squeak? That hairy enough for you! Your fate lies in that brother of yours! You might think you have what it takes to take me on, but does he share your optimism? Daryl, what do you think?"
Daryl: "What song does Dean Martin sing when he's at the haberdashers? Hat's Amore!"
UC: "I don't think so either! But this match will not be happening at Dead Man Walking. I learned my lesson about wrestling twice in one night. That lesson? Don't do it! But you can go ahead and name the time and place and I'll be there to tan your sorry hide from pillar to post while your brother says "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!" while he watches your slaughter and has no choice but to wave the white surrender flag. Adios! Over and out!"
(And with that we go to the next segment.)
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 9, 2007 19:56:56 GMT -5
*The camera fades into the arena, the camera facing the ring. Team Head Cheese is already inside, Al and Steve both holding microphones.*
Al: Look Steve, I know Team Head Cheese wasn't a huge success, but we had a good run! At least now, we can try it again! Just one more match!
Steve: As long as your little Cheese friend isn't out here, I've got no problem with that. One more match it is.
Al: In that case, I--
*The lights go out, being replaced with strobes and multicolor lights as "Different World" blasts over the speakers. TJT, along with Jack, arrive out on the stage in their Jaguar, being met with nothing but boos. While Terina isn't dressed for active competition, Jimmy, Jack and Jason are. The four depart from their car and make their way down the ramp, a nervous Jack, as well as Terina bringing up the rear while the official two men of TJT take the lead.*
Finkel: Being accompanied by Jack Jupiter and Terina, from San Diego, California, at a combined in-ring weight of 456 pounds, T.........J.........T!
*Upon reaching the ring, Jimmy and Jason strut to opposite sides of the ring, their heads held high, strike a few poses, and slide in with outstanding synchronization. Meanwhile, Terina has sat herself on the apron, her arms up in the air. Thunder and his partner in crime each lean over the top ropes, grab an arm, pull her up, and open up the gap between the top and middle rope so that she may climb in. Jack Jupiter has been circling the ring, making sure that niether Blackman nor Snow attempt throw a cheapshot at any of the members of TJT. Snow and Blackman drop their mics, while Blackman takes his place in Head Cheese's corner. Thunder and Jupiter take off their jackets, sunglasses, and jewelry, and hand them through the ropes to Jack, who places them at the announce table. Jason motions to Jack to take his place over at TJT's corner with him, who is on the apron now, and Terina, who Jack reluctantly and nervously goes to stand next to. It's Jimmy and Al to start off!*
*The two begin to circle one another, and lock up for the test of strength. Al Snow gives it his all to bring Thunder to his knees, but notices he is the one being brought down. Thunder begins to twist the wrists of Al, who winces in pain of how he is being overpowered. Desperate to get out, he headbutts Thunder in the stomach, and puts him in a wristlock, turning him around. As he holds it, Thunder elbows him in the side of the head, turns him around in a front facelock, and hauls him to TJT's corner. He throws him into the turnbuckle, back first, and tags in Jason. The two each grab an arm, climb opposite sides of the turnbuckle, and leap off, executing fron flips in mid air, causing Al's arms to twist and him to flip to the mat. Thunder and Jupiter quickly get up however, and Thunder exits the ring.*
*Jason, on the other hand, continues to work on the arms. He stomps each one, dropping his knees to deal additional damage. With the left arm, Jupiter locks it in a fujiwara armbar on the mat, and Al seems to be in more pain than before. After a little while, Jupiter wrenches the arm a few times, pulling and snapping it in rapid succession. Jupiter goes to pick up Snow, but ends up on the recieiving end of a front dropkick, obviously dealt by Al due to a lack of ability with his arms. He makes the tag to Steve Blackman, and the "Lethal Weapon" is in like a house of fire.*
*Jupiter gets back up, only to feel a number of rapid leg kicks and a karate chop to the head, stunning him. Thunder enters the fray, recieving a leaping spinkick that knocks him over. Blackman continues to go after Jupiter, his barrage of kicks and chops not seeming to give. Thunder grabs him from behind and hits him with a sidebuster, bringing him down to the mat. Thunder gets back out of the ring, and Jupiter, recovering, picks up Blackman and lands a spinning belly-to-belly suplex. He tags in Thunder.*
*With Thunder in, the assault continues. Blackman is disoriented as Thunder picks him up, and now, to make things worse, takes a shoulderbreaker. Thunder gets to the turnbuckle of TJT's corner, climbs up, and jumps off, his right fist plummeting into Steve's chest. Thunder makes the tag back to Jupiter. Jupiter enters into the ring, and the two begin their positioning for Thunder has Struck to Jupiter! Al Snow attempts to enter the ring to break it, but the ref, facing TJT rather than him, gets grabbed from the ankle by Jack Jupiter, who has crept around the ref. As jim and Jason land their finisher, Al is pulled down to the outside, and before he can actually brawl, is hit with a Jupiter Driver. Meanwhile, Thunder has gotten out of the ring, and Jason has made the cover.*
1!
2!
3!
*"Different World" begins to play again on the speakers, as jack regroups with his team as does Jason, the four of them proudly walking off, as Jim and Jason have their arms raised for victory.*
Finkel: Here are your winners.......T.........J.........T!
*Although Jack seems excited, as Terina turns around to congratulate him on sealing the victory for his cousin and his friend, he quickly freaks out, immediately sweating bullets. Nonetheless, it is a victory for TJT, one they can all be happy about. As they head back up the ramp, the camera fades away.*
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Mar 10, 2007 1:42:10 GMT -5
*The camera fades in on what must be the hotel bar. Jimmy Thunder, Jason Jupiter, his cousin Jack, as well as Terina are all seated on stools, Terina between Thunder and Jason, and Jack to Jason's left. Jack seems to be having a beer of some sort, while Jason and Thunder are drinking champagne. Also, they're in dressy clothes, their coats next to their respective seats, with nearby gear as well.*
Jason: Ah, what a night. Jack, I figure you don't get out much and see the cities like we do?
Jack: You're right. Though you guys have been good to me lately. I like it here more than CAAPW, I can tell you that.
Thunder: Yeah, roaming around California Allied All-Pro Wrestling was fun.
Terina: Then again, people move on to bigger and better things, and I guess that's how it is with EWT.
Jason: In any case Jack, I'm proud of how ya did, boy. Keeping the name of our extended family intact. *pats is cousin on the back* Plus, you made our job a lot easier for us.
Jack: I did, huh?
Terina: You bet. That's really my job, but I don't mind someone taking it for me.
Jack: ....ehhhh....
Jason*whispering to Jack*: Listen, you did a great job and all, but you're sort of...I donno, giving us the reputation of a team with a--
Thunder: Hey, one thing, Jack.
Jack: Huh?
Thunder: We're part of a group called "Minipax."
Jack: Ministry of Peace?
Thunder: How'd ya know?
Terina: Probably books. It relates to George Orwell.
Jack: Eheh...
Jason: Indeed it does. Anyway, I hear they may be needing a substitution for a match at Dead Man Walking, EWT's latest PPV.
Thunder: Remember kids, tell your parents, let them know. And also, be sure to alert the horny teens in the family.
Terina: Cause they'll order anything with me in it.
Thunder: So don't wait! Call your local cable provider today for more details!
Jupiter: Because if you don't, you too will find yourself....a DEAD MAN WALKING!
*The members of TJT smile at their bit, but Jack is oblivious to it.*
Jack: Really? A substitution, you say?
Jason*sipping drink*: You heard right. Now there's this guy, named Joe One. He's in the match already. And if he approaches you to make the substitution, take it.
Jack: Why?
Thunder: Don't ask me, I've been itching to use the bathroom.
Jason: And I've got to mail something out. Be back in a few.
*Thunder and Jason leave.*
Terina: Well, you're going up against Ultimo. He accepted. Yeah, he did. He called you "Apple jacks Jupiter." Hehehehehehe. Funny name really.
Jack*blushing and sratching side of neck*: Yeeeeeaaaaah....huhuhuhuhu--
Terina: But more importantly, you need to earn yourself a reputation. Remember, you can use that match whenever you want. But nobody's going to care about you if you challenge him and lose. So make yourself known. Prove that you've got something special, something big, something that makes you a dominant force among all of the men here in EWT. Something that--
*Jack is now sweating bullets*
Jack: Alright, alright! I get the point!
*Terina seems a little suprised. Jack obviously got the wrong impression from what was said.*
Terina: So take the match.
*Thunder gets back.*
Thunder: Ahhh, good to clean out the--oh, what's your decision on the match, Jack?
Jack: I'll take it.
Terina: Good choice.
Jack: Um....
*Jason comes back now.*
Jason: So Jack, what's the news?
Jack: Oh, I'm going through with the challenged match, but I'm also going to wrestle at Dead Man Walking, if I get approached as a replacement.
Jason: Wise manuever.
Thunder: Remember Jack, you cannot afford to lose this one. You're going to have to win to establish yourself and be considered a serious opponent here in EWT. Prove to Ultimo you're better than him. Prove to him his insults are hollow. Otherwise, hang up the tights and find a new job.
Jack: I'll be careful. I'll do my absolute best.
Thunder: Which means win!
*Thunder and Jupiter put on their thick and heavy dress coats and sunglasses adjacent to them, while Terina puts on one made of fur and grabs her purse, also next to the stool she was at. Jack also puts his jacket on, and Thunder pulls out his wallet, takes out $200, and addresses the bartender.*
Thunder: I know we didn't finish, but clean up after us.
*Gives barkeep the money.*
Thunder: Oh, and keep the change.
*The four walk off, having some kind of conversation once they turn around a corner, and as their voices fade away, the camera fades out.*
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The Line
Patti Mayonnaise
Real Name: Bumkiss. Stanley Bumkiss.
Peanut Butter & JAAAAAMMMM!
Posts: 36,698
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Post by The Line on Mar 10, 2007 10:44:02 GMT -5
The Arena goes black and “No Quarter” by Led Zepplin plays over the PA system.
Ring Announcer: Making their way to the ring, being accompanied by “Elementalcidal” Mike Ragnal, weighing in at a combined weight of 360 lbs, “Sinnercidal” Jonathan Doe and “Insecticidal” Andy Duke, THE CIDAL SQUAD!
The Cidal Squad comes to the ring, and Mike Ragnal takes a microphone
Ragnal: Last week, we were unable to come to the ring and fight, as we were on official Cidal business. So to make up for that, tonight, we will have to matches to prove our dominance!
Ragnal Drops the microphone, and goes to the announce table.
Styles: Well, it looks like we are about to be joined by a special guest here.
JBL: Indeed we are Joey.
Ragnal: Hey guys.
Styles: Hello Mike, now, I’ve just got one question for you.
Ragnal: Shoot.
Styles: Why are you having these two fight in a handicap match, when you easily could have made this a 3-on-3 affair?
Ragnal: As you know, neither of these two have captured any gold, or even won a PPV match. If they ever want to be good champions, they need to learn how to fight, and win, when they odds are against them.
JBL: That is a good plan. That’s how I got through my reign as the longest WWE Champ in the past decade.
Some generic rock plays, and the Rockers come out.
Ring Announcer: Making their way to the ring, Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty, the ROCKERS! And their partner…. From Miami, Florida, weighing in at 275 lbs, THE ROCK!
All 5 men get in the ring, and HERE.WE. GO!
Doe and Jannetty start things off here. Standard lock up, and Doe throws Jannetty to the ground. Doe wastes no time, and starts setting the boots to Jannetty. He picks him up, and looks to Mike Ragnal, and Ragnal nods. Doe hoists Marty into a power bomb position, and…POWERBOMBS HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE TO THE FLOOR!
Styles: OH MY GOD!
JBL: Now THAT’S how you get things done! He’s probably finished for the best of the night, folks.
Ragnal: Good, Jonathan, Good.
Shawn comes into the ring, and I guess the ref is letting him be the legal man. Michaels is fighting with a passion, for his fallen comrade. Michaels Irish-whips Doe into the ropes, and a SUPERKICK! Doe falls into the corner, and Duke tags him. Duke is now the legal man.
Ragnal: Come on Duke!
Joey: I am not one to cheer for the Cidal Squad, but at least now it’s a 2-on-2 match now, instead of a handicap match.
JBL: Well after that well placed Superkick, it may be a 2-on-1 match now.
Joey: You might be right.
Ragnal: No matter the odds, my boys will come out on top.
Duke and HBK collide in the center, and lock up. Duke grabs HBK, and locks him in a headlock. HBK pushes Duke into the ropes. Duke bounces back and locks him into a collar-and-neck choke hold. Man, that may be it. But no, Duke is able to bend his arms around, somehow, and lock them behind him and HBK. He lifts HBK off the ground, and falls back. Both men, lay down on the ground now…
HBK grabs the ropes and pulls himself up. Duke is able to get up and runs towards HBK. CACTUS CLOTHESLINE, and both men fall over the top rope! Now the Rock is egging to get in with Jonathan Doe, and it looks like he will get his wish!
Joey: Well, I feel bad for Jonathan for being in the ring with the rock now.
JBL: He may be regretting his actions against Mick Foley.
Ragnal: Neither Duke, Doe, or I show any remorse for any of our actions, either in or out of the ring.
Rock is just barraging Doe with strikes. DDT! This is all over, I think. The Rock is getting ready for the Rock Bottom! He is just stalking Doe. Outside the ring, Duke isn’t looking much better. He is holding himself up on the ring post. HBK goes for a super kick…and gets nothing but post! OH MY! He may have broken his ankle! Duke smiles. He was playing’ possum! That bastard! He picks up Janetty, still hurting from that power bomb early in the match, and power bombs him again, this time through the Announce table!
Styles: WOW!
JBL: To quote Monsoon, this has turned into a Pier 6 brawl!
Ragnal: Come on boys.
The Rock waits…and hits it! ROCK BOTTOM on Doe. He is getting ready for the People’s elbow. He faces the audience, he audience and smells the air. He looks down at Doe, and spits on him! Off with the elbow pad, and now into the ropes on his right, and NOOOO! Duke Out of nowhere hit’s the Rock with a VICIOUS LARIAT! He just turned him inside out! Doe makes the cover!
1
2
3!
Styles: The Cidal Squad wins
JBL: Not only did they win, they massacred them. At least 2 of these men will need medical attention after this match. I just hope they have enough in the tank for the Radicalz later tonight.
Ragnal: I assure you, we do. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a match to warm-up for.
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Post by Koda, Master Crunchyroller on Mar 10, 2007 13:44:47 GMT -5
We come back from commercials to see Toom E. Dangerously walking down the hall. Sum Guy pops up out of nowhere.
Toom: What the hell?!
Sum: So, everyone is wondering, Mr. Dangerously, why Koda Kazar and Job Bher did not show up at March 4th.
Toom: Well....I promised them that I wouldn't tell, but what the hell? I'll tell ya anyways. They both had bad cases of diarrhea, and couldn't go for 10 minutes without needing to take a crap, so I told them to take the night of and that they will have their match another time.
Sum: So, when will that be?
Toom: Oh...I don't know, tonight.
Sum: TONIGHT?!
Toom: Yes, tonight.....next, to be exact.
Toom E. walks off.
Sum: Oh my God! Can you believe it?! A barbed wire match next, and it is not even a PPV!
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jzbadblood
Unicron
Christ, man. Can't you see what's happening? Can't you read between the lines?
Posts: 3,052
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Post by jzbadblood on Mar 10, 2007 15:00:02 GMT -5
We come back from commercial and JZ and TAKA are announced in their corners by the ring announcer, and the referee checks both of them for hidden weapons.
Joey Styles: Welcome back folks, glad you could join us for the opening seconds of this match.
The two stand tall against each other, and they both reach out for a test of strength. Their hands touch and TAKA backs off. They continue to circle each other. They meet again and once JZ gets a hold of TAKA's hand he spins his arm around into a wristlock. TAKA flips out of it and gets JZ in the same hold. From there JZ flips out of it the same way and comes up to TAKA with a side kick to the stomach and now has control of the wristlock.
Joey Styles: JZ keeping up with the pace of TAKA.
JZ now puts one leg over TAKA's arm and spins him to the ground into an armbar. After about 15 seconds in the hold TAKA gets to his vertical base and turns JZ around, kicking him in the face to break it.
Joey Styles: TAKA showing his experience with these type of holds.
They lock up again, this time with both hands, and TAKA is able to get in a kick drop toe hold and rolls over into a leg lock. TAKA reaches up for the head and has an STF type of hold locked in. TAKA then lets go for a split second and rolls it over into a bow and arrow. JZ is able to flip out of it ontop of TAKA into a pin, but it doesn't even get a 1 count. The two of them stand off again.
Joey Styles: These two are going hold for hold. I'm surprised the match has degenerated into a fist fight yet.
They go to lock up again, but before they can JZ drops TAKA to the mat with a drop toe hold and rolls over into a headlock. TAKA is able to get to his feet and JZ flips out of the headlock behind TAKA. He tries to grab him by the waist but TAKA jumps forward and catches JZ with a drop kick to the midsection, which sends him into the ropes. TAKA turns around and launches himself with a crossbody that sends JZ and himself to the outside of the ring.
Joey Styles: This type of environment favors JZ, TAKA should take this one back into the ring.
On the outside TAKA recovers first and delivers a few forearms to the neck of the recovering JZ. He then tries to hit a suplex, but realizes he can't take JZ over he pushes him and hits a dropkick to the face.
Joey Styles: Nice dropkick! I think I saw a tooth fly into the audience!
TAKA rolls into the ring and points to the outside while the audience goes nuts. He runs from one side of the ring to the other and flips over the ropes onto JZ who catches him with a powerbomb onto the concrete!
Joey Styles: TAKA takes a quick powerbomb on the concrete floor! His head took most of the force on that one!
JZ rolls TAKA into the ring and pins him, but TAKA is able to kick out at 2.9.
Joey Styles: TAKA was able to kick out! I don't see this going much longer.
JZ picks TAKA up and hooks his arms for a double underhook suplex but lifts him up for the JZ Driver!
Joey Styles: He calls that one the JZ Driver, but I call it the end of the match!
1..2..3!
Joey Styles: JZ has beaten TAKA right here in the EWT ring. If he would have stuck to his game plan TAKA might have been able to pull this one off.
JZ lets the referee hold his hand up in the ring and he wipes the blood off of his lips before mouthing "Bring it on kid" to the camera.
Joey Styles: You know who he's saying that to. Indigo may have bit off more than he can chew.
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Post by Oceanic on Mar 10, 2007 15:42:17 GMT -5
Oceanic, with the Tri State Title draped over her shoulder, walks up to the this week's matchboard and sees her opponent for this week and looks insulted. She then goes and looks at the line up for Dead Man Walking, and sees that she's not booked. She shakes her head in dissappointment.
"I shouldn't even have gotten out of bed this morning...."
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Post by Koda, Master Crunchyroller on Mar 10, 2007 16:59:51 GMT -5
We come back from commercials, to see the ring going under a make over. The three ropes are replaced with three lines of barbed wire. The turnbuckle pads are replaced with balls of barbed wire, and several weapons wrapped in barbed wire are placed around the ring.
* "Runaway" by Linkin Park begins to play *
Lillian: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is a barbed wire match! Introducing first, from Jobstown, New Jersey, Job Bher!
Job makes it down the ramp to a sea of cheers. He gently gets into the ring. Job goes to a corner and waits for Koda, with a worried look on his face.
JR: This match will not go well... Joey: I think you may be right on this one, JR.
* "Hail to the Chief" begins to play *
Lillian: And his opponent, from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, being accompanied to the ring by Grover Taft, Rutherford Von Bruin, and Calvin McKinley, "The President" Koda Kazar!
Koda swaggers to the ring while his cabinet follows behind. He is met with a blanket of boos, but simply flips off the entire crowd. He stops at the ring while Taft and Von Bruin hold open the barbed ropes to let him in. Koda and Job stand face to face, Koda towering over Job. Koda open hand slaps Job, forcing Job to turn and stumble back. The ref calls for the match to start.
JR: If anything, Koda atleast has the size advantage. Joey: That may be, but in my experience covering barbed wire matches, the only good that size will give you is if you can keep away from the wire, otherwise, you'll have more contact with that sharp metal. JR: Hmmm...you have a point there, Joey, but if Job Bher wants any chance here, he has to find a new way to gain speed, as you don't want to bounce off these ropes, even if you have a t-shirt on.
Koda quickly grabs Job and whips him chest first into the ropes. Job gets caught on the wire, thanks to his shirt. McKinley comes up to Job and grabs his head. McKinley gives Job a jawbreaker across the top of the barbed wire. Job whips back and stumbles around, gasping for air. Koda kicks Job in his stomach and places his head between his legs. Koda gives Job a running powerbomb into the top turnbuckle. Job's head bounces off the wire, with some of his hair getting stuck on it.
Koda then grabs Job and tries to suplex him, but in mid-air, Job swings back down and locks Koda in a small package pin!
One!
Two!
Kickout!
With the force Koda uses to kick out, Job's right leg goes snapping up into the second rope. Job pulls his leg off of the wire and tries to get up.
JR: It seems Job's clothing is causing him more harm that good. Joey: I agree JR, he keeps getting caught on the wire.
Koda levels Job with a clothesline that causes Job to flip over and land on his belly. Koda pulls Job up from behind and locks his arms around his waist. Koda gives Job a german suplex, but doesn't let go. He lifts Job up again and gives him another german suplex. He still doesn't let go. Koda lifts Job up one more time and gives him a third german suplex, and then lets go.
JR: A Rolling German Suplex! Shades of the great Chris Benoit!
Koda stands up and points his index finger to the sky. Koda grabs Job and places him between his legs. Koda lifts Job up and hits him with an Air Force One! Koda goes for a pin.
One!
Two!
Thr...
Kickout!
Koda chuckles at Job kicking out. Koda then rips Job's shirt off and asks Taft to hand him a small wooden shaft with wire wrapped around it. Koda stands back and waits for Job to get up. Koda charges at Job and hits him with the weapon in the head. Job begins to slowly bleed from his forehead. Koda whips Job shoulder first into the corner, and tell Von Bruin and McKinley to wrap his arms in the top two ropes. Koda takes the weapon he had and unwraps most of the wire, leaving enough still wrapped to keep the wire on the rod. Koda begins walking towards Job with an evil look on his face, as well as a smile.
JR: No, Koda! Don't do it! Oh God, I can't watch!
Koda begins whipping Job's exposed back with his impromptu barbed wire whip. Each strike tearing a few pin head sized chunks of flesh from his back. After 20 lashes, Job's back is a bloody mess. Koda drops the whip and kicks it out of the ring and tells Von Bruin and McKinley to free him. Koda pulls Job away from the corner and walks towards the other end of the ring. Koda sets Job up for a suplex, but Job kicks Koda in the crotch.
Joey: Job putting in the Cheat Codes!
Job then weakly hits Koda with the Tornado Lariatooo!!!!! Koda suprisingly falls from this, but then quickly gets up. Job is barely even standing.
Joey: I think that was an act of desperation.
Koda goes to clothesline Job, but Job ducks! Job kicks Koda in the gut and somehow suplexes him back first onto the top rope! Koda hangs there and screams in pain as he struggles to get off. Taft and McKinley help him off the top rope. Koda's back is pretty cut up now as well.
Koda slides into the ring and gives Job an uppercut. Koda then whips Job back first into the corner and hits him with a stinger splash. Job slowly stumbles out of the corner as Koda kicks him in the gut and shoves his head between his legs. Koda lifts Job up and gives him yet another Air Force One!
JR: Oh my lord, Job, please stay down! Joey: I don't think he can even move anymore, JR.
Koda goes for a pin.
One!
Two!
Thre...
Kickout!
Koda can not comprehend what has just happened! Koda pulls Job off the mat, revealing a large blood stain where he was. Job suprises Koda with another roll up, but Koda rolls through. Job gives Koda a hopping dropkick to his knee. Koda drops to one knee as Job somehow is finding the strength to go on.
The crowd begins to back Job as he whips Koda into the ropes. Koda gets caught on the ropes and stands there. Job charges at him and gives him a jumping side calf lariat. The crowd is going wild as Job finally gains control for the first time. Job gets off the ropes and backs off. Job then charges at Koda and gives him a running enzuigiri to the back of the head.
JR: If Koda can't get off that rope, this match may take a suprise turn in Job Bher's favor!
Unfortunately, Koda falls off the rope thanks to the enzuigiri. Job bounces around the ring and gives Koda a sliding dropkick to the side of his head as he is getting up. Job then waits for Koda to get up. Job gives Koda another Tornado Lariatooo!!! Job goes for a pin.
One!
Two!
Thre...
Kickout!
Koda forces Job off of him and asks Taft for a steel chair wrapped in barbed wire. Koda goes to hit Job with it, but Job superkicks it into Koda's forehead! Koda drops the chair and falls to the ground. Job goes up top probably for a moonsault, but just as he gets to the top, Von Bruin pushes his leg out from under him, causing Job to rack himself on the top turnbuckle.
Koda slowly gets up and grabs Job from his position. Koda tries to give Job another Air Force One, but Job grabs onto the metal connector connecting the turnbuckle to the ring post. Koda keeps pulling, but Job won't let go.
JR: Job knows that if he lets go, he will lose. Joey: The question is, does he have enough in him to counter this move?
Koda does another pull, this time putting all his remaining strength into it. Job's grasp gives out, and he is forced to let go. Koda drives Job backfirst onto the steel chair. Koda signals that it is over and pins Job.
One!
Two!
Three!
The ref calls for the bell.
Lillian: Here is your winner, "The President" Koda Kazar!
JR: Thank god that match is over! Poor Job Bher! Joey: He gave it his all, but he went through hell. Look at the crowd.
Many members of the crowd are wiping tears off their face. EMTs try to get into the ring, but Koda's cabinet prevents them from entering. Koda flips Job over and locks in the American Dream! Job screams in pain as he tries to get to the ropes. Koda pulls him from the ropes, then puts in the grapevine. Koda keeps turning Job's ankle, until it snaps like a twig. When Koda let's go of Job's ankle, his targeted foot is 180 degrees from its natural position.
Joey: Oh my Gooooooooodddd!!!! JR: I thought this was over, but that bastard Koda Kazar just had to do this!
Koda let's the EMTs into the ring as he and his Cabinet leave to the back, all of them smiling and high fiving each other as they leave. They stop on the stage and turn towards the crowd, and raise their arms in victory, to which they get a sea of boos, but then they turn and head on back.
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Post by Tha Kid Joker on Mar 10, 2007 17:46:51 GMT -5
Fade to EWT's backstage area, where Cassinova has nodded off to sleep, sitting beside his locker room door. He has apparently been there for a while, as evident by him running to the back and arriving there several segments ago. After a few seconds, the sound of water running (as if a shower just turned on) is heard through the closed door, which awakens Cass. He quickly gets to his feet and looks at the camera.
Cassinova: Dude, you were supposed to wake me up! How long has that shower been on?
Cameraman: It just turned on.
Cassinova (calming down): Alright, cool. Try not to make any noise in here, alright?
The camera moves up and down as if the cameraman was nodding his head. Cassinova then slowly puts his hand on the doorknob and turns it, creeping inside. He holds the door open for the cameraman, and mouths for him to come inside. Before the cameraman does so, though, he makes sure to get a shot of the door, revealing this is not Cassinova's locker room after all. On the door, there is a large emblem of a soaring bird, and under it, a sign reads:
Crauswell
The cameraman moves inside the room, and Cassinova quietly shuts the door behind him. Cassinova then moves back in front of the camera and looks around the room, before smirking and whispering to the camera with an Australian accent.
Cassinova: EWT Kool-Aid drinkers of all ages, do I have a treat for you. I am now standing in the habitat of the Imasterbatius-toamericasfunniestanimalsus, or as common people call it, Crauswell.
Cassinova begins to walk around the room, whispering as he walks.
Cassinova: You see, Crauswell is a very strange creature. He has an outer coating made entirely of plastic, latex, and synthetic feathers. His second layer looks suspiciously like a human being, albeit a hopelessly repulsive one. He's an invertebrate--which means he's spineless for all you uneducated hicks out there, and has to be supported by a system of liquid-filled bladders, which somehow causes him to be slow and brittle while in battle. Unlike most other beasts, he'd rather things go into his rectum rather than out of it, and... oh, look what we have here!
Cassinova points to a pile of plush animals on the ground with a face of faux shock. He grins and begins to whisper again, still using the Australian accent.
Cassinova: Why, it's Crauswell's very own mating grounds! If you notice, all of these stuffed animals are blue, red, black, etc. All very manly colors. It seems as if Crauswell would rather mate with male animals than females. Something must be done about this, otherwise Crauswell might become extinct!
Cassinova, in his fit of mock concern picks up one of the animals. He then stops to think about what he just said.
Cassinova: Hm... on second thought, let's not do anything about it.
Cassinova grins and throws the toy on the ground. He then stomps on it just to be mean, but notices a white-ish goo trailing from his foot as he lifts his shoe up. Cassinova gets an annoyed face, and drops his whisper and Australian accent all-together.
Cassinova: Ah, f***ing 'ey...
Cassinova then grows wide-eyed and puts his hand over his mouth, looking back at the bathroom door. He obviously didn't mean to talk so loud, and puts the accent and whisper back on. He walks around as he whispers.
Cassinova: Anyway, let's see what else Crauswell keeps in the environment...
He comes to a large gym-bag on the locker room bench, which appears to be Crauswell's. Cassinova raises an eyebrow and opens it up. He immediately holds his nose and almost pukes, but he still remembers to whisper.
Cassinova: Crikey! It smells like rotten eggs in this bag!
He reaches his hand in and pulls out a large carton of eggs. The carton has yolk dripping from it, showing that the eggs must've been accidentally broken recently. Cassinova hurriedly places the strong-smelling eggs on the side, and reaches his hand back in. He grabs the first thing he touches, only to pull out more eggs. He does this about eight or nine more times, getting the same results each time. He finally just turns the bag upside down, which causes cartons of eggs to begin pouring out of it. When the bag is empty, he throws it across the room and knocks the eggs off of the bench in anger.
Cassinova: Christ! Did he buy the entire grocery store's supply of eggs? I mean, seriously, does he eat them or rescue them? Ugh... whatever. What else is in here?
Cassinova walks around the room, but doesn't see anything. He eventually finds a door that wasn't noticeable before, and shrugs before opening it. When he does so, he can't help but smile at what's inside of it. He walks closer and pretends to wipe a tear from his eye from the sheer greatness of it.
Cassinova: Now this... is priceless.
Cassinova points at what's inside the door: A shrine--complete with burning candles, flowers, and a table draped with fine cloths. On the shrine, sitting on a pedestal that's either gold or colored to look like gold, is Crauswell's EWT Ox-Division title. Faint chapel music is played in the room, and Cassinova takes a few seconds to absorb all of this in. After inhaling a deep breath, he bursts out laughing. He stops quickly and covers his mouth, looking back at the bathroom once more. He then puts the whispered accent back on.
Cassinova: Uh... okay mate. Let's pretend we didn't just see that.
He continues to whisper, but nixes the accent.
Cassinova: Let's just get what we came here for before Birdboy gets out of his birdbath and goes on a birdshootingrampage.
The camera nods up and down as Cassinova tiptoes over to the bathroom door. He places his ear on the door and listens closely to see if Craus is still showering.
Cassinova: Oh my god... No way. No freakin' way! Dude, come here! He's singing his theme song! Listen!
The camera moves closer to the door, and indeed Crauswell is. Cass and the cameraman high-five at the pure absurdity of it all, before turning around and gasping in shock to see Crauswell standing in the corner of the room!
Cassinova: Dude! Craus! Uh... how long have you been standing there?
Crauswell doesn't move, and just stands in the shadows.
Cassinova: That long, eh? Well, uh...
Out of a lack of a better way to exit, Cassinova remembers an old Family Guy episode.
Cassinova: (Stretches and yawns) Well... I better be hitting the old dusty trail...
He begins to walk away, but the cameraman stops him.
Cameraman: He's not moving. That's just the costume. Let's grab it and get out so you can pay me my $200 dollars and I can hit the Vegas strip!
Cass inspects the costume from a distance, and finally smirks at the fact that he isn't in any danger.
Cassinova: Relax. You can throw your life away in due time. A moment like this needs to be savored.
Cassinova walks over to the costume leaning in the corner and plucks the head off of it. He puts it on and spreads his arms like a bird.
Cassinova: Oooh... look at me! I'm Big Bird's alcoholic first cousin, Crauswell! I like to pretend I'm a pigeon and watch the mating rituals of sparrows on Animal Planet! Hahaha... dumbass.
Cass takes off the mask and puts it under his arm. He then grabs the rest of the costume and makes towards the door.
Cassinova: Alright, man. Let's get out of here before that dork Crapswell comes out of the shower. I wonder how he'll fare without his precious griffin outfit. He already sucked, but without a gimmick, he'll be even more bland and uninteresting!
The two laugh, just as the shower turns off. Cass grows wide-eyed and flees out of the door, with the cameraman following shortly thereafter. They shut the door behind then, and Cassinova looks at the cameraman.
Cassinova: Alright, you know the plan. We split up and meet at the hotel.
Cameraman: Sure. Remember, it wasn't me that helped you.
Cassinova: Relax, no one saw your face, David Williams.
Cameraman: Dude, you just said my name!
Cassinova: So? We can edit that out.
Cameraman: We're live!
There's a long pause.
Cassinova: Wow... your life sucks. See you at the hotel!
With that, Cassinova runs off with the costume, and the cameraman turns the camera to focus on the door. Inside of the locker room, the sound of the bathroom door opening and closing can be heard, followed by Crauswell continuing his rendition of his theme song. This goes on for a few seconds, before the room is suddenly filled with silence. After a short pause, a muffled voice is heard through the door...
Crauswell: ...What in the... damnit. Damnit! Gah!!! Who did this?! My toys?! My eggs?! Wait... where's my... OH, SON OF A B****!!!
With that, the cameraman turns and runs up the hallway as the screen begins to...
FADE TO COMMERCIAL
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Post by crauswell on Mar 10, 2007 18:34:59 GMT -5
As we cut to commercial, we see Sum Guy playing with a paddle ball toy, extremely intent in watching it, when something suddenly grabs the ball in mid paddle, yanking and snapping it off, tossing the ball aside. Sum slowly looks over, as a light growling sound is heard. Sum slowly gazes over, spotting an absolutely furious looking Crauswell. Instead of his usual furry suit, he's wearing what looks like a Pikachu mask, a purple t-shirt with a picture of an eagle on it, and some bluejeans... this stuff looking as if it hasn't been washed in weeks.
Sum: I'm Sum Guy and... erm... Crauswell?!
Crauswell growls, grabbing Sum by the throat as he slams him face first in the wall, then presses him close against, his masked face right in his own.
Crauswell: YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT IT'S CRAUSWELL! You won't believe what just happened... I was in my locker-room, bathing myself as I often do, minding my own business. Eventually, I finish up, walk outside and get ready for my match against that pathetic opponent I have this week, when suddenly... GUESS WHAT?! Someone with an apparent death wish blatantly breaks into my habitat, kicks around my stuff, and steals my very suit!
Sum looks wide eyed, talking with a bit of difficulty
Sum: Wait... you're mad cause somebody took your costume?
Crauswell slams Sum against the wall again.
Crauswell: IT'S NOT A DAMN COSTUME! It's my most prized possession, even more valuable then my wonderful Ox Division belt. I hand stitched it with my own two hands, back when I first discovered who I truly was. I remember the first day I wore it... it felt like a second skin to me, one that I one day hoped would replace my own. But now... somebody ran off and stole it! There's no excuse for this... I am going to find out who did it and tear them limb.... from waxing limb! I am going to rip their face off with my bare teeth, then thrust my arm into their very chest, plunging from it, their miserable human heart.
Sum: Oh... that sounds nasty.
Crauswell: You bet your pathetic ass it is.
Sum: One more question... why don't you just walk around without the thing? It's better then wearing a mask of that Japanese shock mouse thing.
Crauswell growls, slamming Sum against the wall again.
Crauswell: For your information, I had a bit of a crush on that "Japanese Shock mouse thing" back when I was a naive little teenager.
Sum: .... WHAT?! C'mon dude that's... that's sick even for me.
Crauswell rips this mask off his face, revealing his human one now glaring at Sum through piercing blue eyes. He has long sleek black hair that hasn't been cut in a long time, hanging down his face, his face completely clean shaven, a rather handsome fellow actually... for a furry.
Crauswell: You want to see my human face?! Fine... here it is! I'm not keeping it a secret. I simply prefer not to show it. Take a good long look... TAKE A LOOK AT THIS FACE OF MINE! Because, it doesn't matter one bit to myself.
Sum wets himself... as if on cue, as Craus slides the mask back over his face, throwing Sum to the ground in a heap.
Crauswell: Let me just make this clear right now. I don't know who took my suit... but they are going to pay dearly for it. They're not just going to be devoured... they're going to be completely engulfed in a torrent of pain from which the likes nobody has seen or will ever see in their miserable lives! Rest assured.... I WILL FIND YOU!!!
Craus quickly turns around.... storming down the hallway as Sum Guy slowly sits up, clutching his throat now.
Sum: Ow... I'm Sum Guy and... that guy is messed up.
We quickly fade to the next segment.
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Post by SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman on Mar 10, 2007 19:14:22 GMT -5
*We are now once again in the locker room, where several EWT wrestlers are changing. The water of the showers can be heard. Speaking of the showers, there' s suddenly a lot of noise coming from there. Mysth suddenly bursts from the showers, and don' t dream, he has a towel around his waist.*
Mysth : GAAAAAAAAAAAAH !! What the hell is going on AGAIN ??
Axel Halaway : What' s wrong ?
Mysth : The water of the showers...
Chris Evans : Well, what ?
Mysth : It' s SALTED !!
Comedian : Salted ?
Jobby McJobbertson : Wooaah !! So much bizarre things are happening around you these days, Mysth ! It' s really creepy but it' s so EXCITING !!
Mysth : Exciting ?? One can see you' re not the target of these god damn... whatever it is ! Someone is playing mindgames with me for some reason and I' ll find who it is ! And when I do, I will make them regret to not have remained inside their mummy' s womb !!
Jobby : Did you hear that, Axel ?? This is incredible ! We' re living a true... EPIC moment right now in the EWT !!
*Mysth looks very pissed and throws a killer look at Jobby.*
Axel : Mmmh... yeah... whatever you say...
Mysth : sigh... *Mysth picks up his clothes.*
Jobby : HEY !! Something fell from your pants ! *Jobby picks up and hands Mysth what fell from his pants.* Huh ? It is a blank piece of paper... do you often keep some in your pockets ?
Axel : Hey, Jay, it' s none of your business !
Mysth : I never put that in my...
...Jobby ?
Jobby : Yes ?
Mysth : Are you SURE this piece of paper was blank when you picked it up ?
Jobby : Yup !
Mysth : Because now there' s a black spot on it...
*A long silence follows this sentence. After a few seconds that look like hours, Mysth crumples the piece of paper into his fist.*
Mysth : F*** IT !! *Mysth has just punched the wall with an incredible strength, causing the wall to crack a bit. All the other EWT wrestlers in the room look shocked by what they' ve just seen.* No one... NO ONE makes a fool of Mysth without paying the price... Somebody in this arena seems to like to take me for their prey... but unfortunately for them, I am the most powerful of all predators...
*Mysth looks at the other EWT superstars.*
Mysth :I' m not accusing anyone of you, and I believe I can trust you, guys, but keep in mind that if you try to put me down, the payback will be merciless...
*Mysth puts his clothes on and leaves the room, as the next segment starts.*
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Post by Hulkshi Tanahashi on Mar 10, 2007 23:10:31 GMT -5
Tony Schiavone: Welcome back to EWT, and let's go to the ring and Dave Penzer for our next match, which will feature the debut of EWT's most "interesting" newcomer. Larry Zbyszko: "Interesting!" More like, INSANE!!!! Schiavone: You can say that again. *Bell rings. D'Lo Brown's music plays.* www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6REwQ9L1WMDave Penzer: Our next match is scheduled for one fall. Coming down to the ring, at 6 foot 2 inches, and weighting 268 lbs, from Chicago, IL: D'LO BROWN. *D'Lo walks to ring all the while bobbing his head and walking cockily. He enters the ring.* Schiavone: Well, this D'Lo Brown sure is a very good and underrated wrestler. It will be interesting to see how he deals with the mentally-unstable Comedian. Zbyszko: He could have him committed. *The Comedian's music plays.* www.youtube.com/watch?v=2a423fqOrpAPenzer: And, his opponent, coming down to the ring, at 6 foot 6 inches, and weighing 290 lbs, from Los Angeles, CA: “THE COMEDIAN” BOBBY RIGGS. *The Comedian comes out to thunderous boos. He walks out to the ring and isn’t bothered by the audience. He gets into the ring, charges at D’Lo, and the bell rings.* Schiavone: Here we go! This is the Comedian’s first match in EWT, and it will be interesting to see how he does in the ring. Zbyszko: Just like it will be interesting to see how Crauswell gets his costume back from Cassinova…*they go on to ramble about the Crauswell/Cassinova feud for most of the match.* *D’Lo gets the upperhand and gets him to the ropes on the far side. He punches and chops the Comedian a few times, throws him across the ring, and then hits the Comedian with a leg lariat. Then, D’Lo hits Comedian with his famous D’Lo leg drop and goes for a pin* *1…2…the Comedian kicks out.* *D’Lo chops the Comedian into far right corner. He climbs to the second ropes and begins to hit Comedian 10 times, but the Comedian grabs his legs and takes D’Lo down. He goes for a pin, but D’Lo grabs his butt and turns Comedian over, going for his own pin. The Comedian counters into another pin, but D’Lo counters into another pin. The Comedian rolls out and hits a dropkick into D’Lo’s chest. The Comedian picks up D’Lo and throws him to the outside.* Schiavone: Comedian throws D’Lo over the top rope, and the Comedian is following him. *The Comedian hits D’Lo with an asai moonsault.* Schiavone: Asai moonsault to D’Lo!!!! What a maneuver!!!! Zbyszko: He is nuts!!!! What is a 300 lbs man doing leaving his feet!? *The Comedian quickly slides back into the ring, runs to the other side of the ring, runs back, and jumps over the top rope, hitting D’Lo with a suicide dive.* Schiavone: Suicide dive over the top rope!!!! Zbyszko: Good lord, he flew like Crauswell!!!! Schiavone: Speaking of Crauswell…*Schiavone and Zbyszko go back to not focusing on the match.* *The Comedian throws D’Lo back into the ring. He picks D’Lo up and hits him with a snap suplex. Then, he hits D’Lo with a reverse suplex. Then, he hits D’Lo with 3 German suplexes. The Comedian then goes for a piledriver, but D’Lo counters it into a back body drop and pin. However, the Comedian overpowers him and attempts a powerbomb. D’Lo escapes it and hits the Comedian with a Sky High.* *1…2…the Comedian kicks out.” “D’Lo gets up and chops the Comedian to the far sides. He Irish whips the Comedian to the other side of the ring and goes for a clothesline, but the Comedian ducks, runs to the other side, hits D’Lo with an inverted atomic drop and then a discus punch. The punch sends D’Lo into the ropes and he gets tangled up in them.* Schiavone: The Comedian calls that The Setup and The Punchline. Zbyszko: That was some punchline, alright! It sent him into the ring ropes! Schiavone: And, D’Lo is tied up in them. The ref is trying to help him… *The Comedian walks over to the ropes and starts punching D’Lo in the head.* Schiavone: Oh, come on!!!! D’Lo can’t defend himself. Zbyszko: I doubt he cares. *The ref pulls the Comedian off of D’Lo and warns him not to do it again. The referee goes back to helping D’Lo get out of the ropes. Unfortunately, he can’t see the Comedian walk over to the far corner and pull the turnbuckle off, exposing the steel ring holding the ropes together.* Zbyszko: He’s pulling the turnbuckle off. Schiavone: And, the referee doesn’t see it because he’s trying to help out D’Lo Brown. *D’Lo finally gets out of the ropes and goes after the Comedian with a second wind. He chops the Comedian to the ropes, Irish whips him to the other side, and hits Comedian with a swinging side slam. D’Lo goes to the top rope while the Comedian gets up. He goes for a dropkick, but the Comedian grabs his legs, and puts him in the Texas cloverleaf.* Schiavone: WHAT A COUNTER!!!! The Comedian countered a dropkick into a Texas cloverleaf! *D’Lo struggles towards the ropes.* Zbyszko: He’s going for the ropes! *D’Lo grabs the ropes and overpowers the Comedian. This causes to the Comedian to be thrown into the referee.* Zbyszko: He hit the ref! Schiavone: D’Lo overpowered the Comedian, and he took out the referee. *Both D’Lo and the Comedian get up. D’Lo hits the Sky High out of nowhere, climbs to the top rope, and hits the Lo Down frog splash. However, the ref is still down. D’Lo goes to revive him and does see the Comedian get up. He grabs D’Lo, puts him on his shoulder, and throws D’Lo onto the exposed turnbuckle. Then, the Comedian repeatedly bangs D’Lo’s head into the turnbuckle busting him open.* Schiavone: The Comedian hit D’Lo with the Snake Eye’s, and now he keeps ramming is head into that top turnbuckle. Zbyszko: And, he’s busted D’Lo open. Schiavone: Good God! Somebody stop him! Zbyszko: Who!? The referee is down; he can’t do anything! *The Comedian stops, and D’Lo falls down. The referee gets up as the Comedian puts D’Lo in the Iron Claw. The ref moves over to them. D’Lo is near the ropes and reaches for them. He eventually grabs them and then starts tapping. The referee sees this and starts a 5 count.* *1…2…3…4…5* Schiavone: D’Lo’s hand was on the ropes as the ref hit 5. Zbyszko: But, D’Lo tapped out. *The referee tells the announcer the Comedian has been DQed.* Schiavone: Let’s get the official word from Dave Penzer. Penzer: The winner of the match as a result of a disqualification: D’Lo Brown. *The Comedian hears this, lets go of the Iron Claw, goes over to the ref, and begins to argue with him. Then, he kicks the ref in the stomach and gives him a brainbuster.* Zbyszko: He attacked the ref!? What is he doing? Is he insane!? *The Comedian then picks up D’Lo, puts in position for a powerbomb and hits him with his finisher, Make ‘Em Laugh. After D’Lo hits the rope throat-first, the Comedian rolls D’Lo into a school boy pin, grabs the ref’s hand, and counts 3 himself. He then goes to the announcer and grabs his mic.* Comedian: And, your winner by pinfall: “THE COMEDIAN” BOBBY RIGGS!!!! Zbyszko: This guy is insane! *The Comedian hears Zbyszko and walks over to him.* Comedian: What did you call me? Zbyszko: I called you insane. Comedian: So, you think I’m insane? Zbyszko: Yes, I do. *The Comedian hits Zbyszko with the microphone several times. Then, he pulls Zbyszko’s headset off of him and begins to strangle him with it. Schiavone tries to stop him.* Schiavone: Stop this!!!! This is definitely NOT the greatest night in the history of out sport! *The Comedian punches Schiavone, and he goes down. Then, the Comedian clears the table, get on it, pulls Zbyszko up, and hits him with the Laugh Riot (Cradle Piledriver) through the table. Security and referees come out and pull the Comedian off of Zbyszko as he punches him some more. As he leaves, the Comedian looks at the carnage he has brought down on everyone and starts to laugh.* Comedian: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
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Shake A Leg
Team Rocket
PLEASE DEAR GOD, LET HIM KEEP THE STREAK!
Posts: 966
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Post by Shake A Leg on Mar 11, 2007 0:47:28 GMT -5
Tony Schiavone: Ladies and Gentelmen I'm being told that Larry Zbyszko has just been taken to a near by medical fac- Music begins to play- www.youtube.com/watch?v=XO5Xd7_MXn4Tony Schiavone: What the hell is going on?! (Ace Robinson appears and walks to the ring) Tony Schiavone: Who is this guy? (Ace goes into the ring and grab the mic) Ace: Well, well, well. This is EWT. What am I thinking? My name is Ace Robinson. This is my "Big Time" debut. I've been on the indie scene for the past year and decided to got to the big league. I may have grown up in good old Arkanasas, but I know everything there is to know about Las Vegas baby! After the match that I just saw, I'm really impressed by The Comedian. More impressed by what he did to that dinosaur Zbyszko. I mean that was brutal. I can see me and you in a tag team Comedian. We can dominate EWT and take the EWT Tag Team Championships. But sticking to my original point. I'm here to wrestle and to take that damn EWT Heavyweight Championship and put it around my waist! I'm the house in Vegas and everybody knows, the house always wins!
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,390
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Mar 11, 2007 0:53:45 GMT -5
[glow=red,2,300]A
STARR
WILL
SHINE
CHRISTIAN STARR....
COMING IN 2 WEEKS TO EWT[/glow]
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Post by Hulkshi Tanahashi on Mar 11, 2007 0:55:09 GMT -5
*Sum Guy is walking backstage and comes upon the Comedian sitting in a chair. He approaches him, cautiously.*
Sum Guy: Excuse me, Mr. Riggs, can I ask you some questions? *Comedian doesn't answer.* About what you did...out there? *Comedian still doesn't answer.* To the ref...and D'Lo...and Larry Zbyszko?
*The Comedian remains silent for a few seconds, just looking at the wall across from him. He eventually looks at Sum Guy.*
Comedian: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU STARRIN' AT!!!!?
*Sum Guy jumps back.*
Sum Guy: Nothing, I just want to ask you some questions.
Comedian: Well, ask away, Mr. McGee!
Sum Guy: It's Sum Guy.
Comedian: I know, but I told you your name was stupid so I changed it. Did you forget?
Sum Guy: No.
Comedian: Then, don't act like you did!!!!
Sum Guy: Anyway, I was wondering why you went cra...*stops remember he attacks people who call him crazy*...beat those people up out there.
Comedian: Because, I won that match fair and square. But, THE REF! OH, NO!!!! He said D'Lo had his hand on the rope, and I didn't release the hold by 5. So, he DQ's me. That I can't stand for. So, I rectified the situation by knocking that dumbass ref out and forcing the win. Then, Zboreszko had to piss me off and call me "crazy!" I'm not crazy, and I showed him what happens to people who call me crazy. And, I showed everyone what happens when people cross me.
Sum Guy: I hate to correct, but you did lose.
Comedian: WHAT!? *The Comedian jumps up and grab Sum Guy by the collar.* You're making me angry, Mr. McGee. And I don't you, Mr. McGee, don't make me angry; you wouldn't like me when I'm angry. I did not lose that match.
Sum Guy: But, you did. D'Lo Brown's hand was on the bottom rope.
*The Comedian lets Sum Guy go.*
Comedian, shocked: He had his hand on the bottom rope. I didn't see his hand on the bottom rope! Oh my God!
*The Comedian sits down, puts is head in his hands, and starts to do what sounds like crying. Sum Guy puts his hand on the Comedian's shoulder and tries to comfort.*
Sum Guy: It's okay. You made a mistake. It's okay. Everybody makes mistakes. Just let it all out. I've cried several times when I've made mistakes.
*The Comedian removes his head from his hands and looks at Sum Guy.*
Comedian: I'm not crying, you idiot. I'm laughing!
Sum Guy: Laughing?
Comedian: Yes! Don't you get it!? It was a mistake. That makes what I did much funnier! *The Comedian continues to laugh, gets up, and walks away.* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
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Shake A Leg
Team Rocket
PLEASE DEAR GOD, LET HIM KEEP THE STREAK!
Posts: 966
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Post by Shake A Leg on Mar 11, 2007 1:02:00 GMT -5
(Sum Guy walks away from The Comedian and bumps into Ace Robinson)
Ace: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!
Sum Guy: I'm Sum Guy.
Ace: Whatever. Look, I'm off the indie scene now and will be seen by millions of people around the freaking world. Now you tell whoever books the matches here, that I want my debut in EWT next week! And I do mean next week! Go you little pissant!
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