Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,390
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Mar 11, 2007 1:04:53 GMT -5
Sum Guy just stands there as Ace Robinson walks away in fury.
Sum: I never had this much trouble at the mental institute.
FADE TO COMMERCIAL
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 11, 2007 1:11:57 GMT -5
*As we return from the commercial break, Sum Guy is still standing where he was befor.*
Sum: Well folks, there you have it, and I'm Sum Guy and--
*Jack Jupiter walks by, all by himself.*
Jack: YES! YES! YEEESSSSS! I'M IN THE TAG MATCH WITH ONE AT DEAD MAN WALKING! WOOOOOO!
*He leans over right into the camera.*
Jack: Didja hear that? WOO-HOO! I'm in! I'm in! I'm IN! EWT, WATCH OUT! THERE'S A NEW STAR, AND HIS NAME IS JACK! YEAAAAGH!
*He walks off as some guy pulls out a suitcase, and puts a hat atop his head.*
Sum: I'm Sum Guy, and I'm out of here.
*Walks off as the camera fades out.*
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Indigocrates
Unicron
I got bored. Decided to become a philosopher. Just 'cause.
Posts: 2,953
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Post by Indigocrates on Mar 11, 2007 1:20:58 GMT -5
*As Sum Guy is walking away, he bumps into the EWT Toolshed Champion Christopher Indigo. Indigo headbutts Sum Guy, and he goes down, and Indigo walks off.*
SG: "I'm thum Guy, and my dothe ith in errible', errible' pain."
*After a few seconds, Sum Guy starts trying to get to his feet. As Sum Guy is getting up, Oceanic walks by, pissed about not being booked for Dead Man Walking. She sees Sum Guy getting up, and she grabs a nearby steel chair, and once Sum Guy is up, she nails him over the head with the chair, and Sum Guy goes down in a heap. She leaves, and we fade out.*
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 11, 2007 1:29:34 GMT -5
*As Sum Guy comes to, the camera zooms out, revealing TJT crouching next to him.*
Jupiter: Yo, have you seen Jack?
Sum: Huh?
Jupiter: Ya know, my cousin?
Terina: The guy's been running all around the arena for the past hour celebrating his match. He's a total nutcase.
Sum: Huh?
Thunder: The guy was in FIRE ORANGE pants. You can't miss a guy like that.
Sum: Oh...him....he went thataway...
*Sum Guy points to an area out of view of the camera.*
Thunder: Alright, thanks.
Terina: Time to show him some gratitude. Hahaha!
*Thunder and Jupiter both lift up Sum Guy and slam him on the concrete with Thunder has Struck on Jupiter. They assume a bit of a trio formation and walk off.*
Terina: Let's go, boys.
Jupiter: Now to find that dumbass cousin of mine.
*As the three of them walk away, a figure wearing a pink mask with big yellow ears, and a red hat on it leans into view, strikes a few poses, and slips out. The camera fades away.*
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Post by Hulkshi Tanahashi on Mar 11, 2007 2:27:16 GMT -5
*The Comedian walks by, looking for something.*
Comedian: Hey, Mr. McGee, have you see my pen? I dropped it somewhere.
*He sees Sum Guy lying on the floor and rushes to him.*
Comedian: OH MY GOD!!!! MR. MCGEE, WHAT HAPPENED!?
*He kneels down and lifts Sum Guy up a little.*
Sum Guy: *mumbles*
Comedian: Oh my God!!!! DONUTS!!!!
*He gets up and drops Sum Guy and begins to rush towards the donuts. As goes to them, he spots something on the ground.*
Comedian: Hey, my pen! Now, TO THE DONUTS!!!!
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Mar 11, 2007 8:15:03 GMT -5
As always, if you think your lines need to be reworked, just edit it and PM it back to me.
*The Cidal Squad is walking the halls of the backstage area, Mike taping up his wrists. Duke looks at Mike with an unsettled look.*
DUKE: You really gave him a match?
MIKE: Yeah, I told him once I win the World Heavyweight Championship, he gets first cracks.
DUKE: Yeah, I just...wow. I can't believe you actually agreed to it.
MIKE: Duke, even if I did just give him a shot, it doesn't mean he's gonna win. Like we're doing with Merc, you have to get in his head and take advantage of his weaknesses. His weakness right now is that he craves the World title. We'll give him the shot, but we don't have to let him win.
DUKE: Fair enough. But at least you can say you have a match at Dead Man Walking. Neither of us has a match.
*Duke stares off into space for a moment. Mike stops and looks at him, raising an eyebrow in the process.*
MIKE: Go on...
DUKE: Alright, alright. Nor have we ever one a match AT a PPV.
DOE: It's true.
MIKE: Yeah, that's the part I didn't wanna remember.
*Mike finishes taping his wrist, opening and closing his fist in the process.*
MIKE: The problem with the losing is, you guys have yet to find that niche, that certain match that you know you can win. Not only that, but the right circumstances as well.
DOE: Circumstance?
MIKE: Right. Take Ultimo for example. He was in Ladder matches, hardcore fights...hell, he lost to my brother Joe at the first ever FUN House match. BUT, a month later, Ultimo beat him. Know how?
*Duke and Doe look off again, in thought, until Duke raises a finger as if to have the answer.*
DUKE: Tables match?
DOE: Steel Cage match?
MIKE: Nope. A regular match.
DOE: ...Whoa...
MIKE: Yeah. Granted, he still won a few couple stipulation matches, but his best victories came when he simply showed his talent without tools of destruction.
DUKE: Right, but how can WE do that when we aren't even booked?
MIKE: Simple. At Dead Man Walking, you have one of two choices. Either get on the mic and ask for a challenge...
DOE: Or...
*Mike gives a smile.*
MIKE: Pick a victim...and take them out right after their match.
*Duke and Doe stare in wonder, and soon they exchange the same sinister smile.*
DUKE: Not a bad idea, Mike.
MIKE: Right. But right now, we have a match against the Radicalz. So stay focused, and think about this later. We have a crowd to show just what we can do. After that, you and Doe take a look at who's worthy of a challenge, then plan the attack.
*Duke and Doe nod, and the Cidal Squad head off camera as we fade to the next segment.*
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Mar 11, 2007 8:16:58 GMT -5
*The Radicalz music plays on the PA system as Eddie Guerrero, Perry Saturn, and Dean Malenko come riding out in a lowrider. Saturn and Malenko are sitting on top of the back seats as Eddie drives, Perry holding Moppy up high. Halfway down the ramp, Eddie stops the lowrider, and all three men head to the ring.*
LILLIAN: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is a six-man tag team match. Making their way to the ring first...Eddie Guerrero, Dean Malenko, and Perry Saturn...The RADICALZ!
*After posing on the rinngpost, their music fades into "No Quarter" by Led Zeppelin plays as Andy Duke, Johnathan Doe, and Mike Ragnal enter and head down the ramp.*
LILLIAN: And the opponents..."Insecticidal" Andy Duke, "Elementalcidal" Mike Ragnal, and "Sinnercidal" Johnathan Doe...THE CIDAL SQUAD!
*The Squad stands at the bottom of the ramp for a few seconds, staring into the ring. They then run and slide into the ring, going towards the ref splitting the two factions at the center of the ring. The ref orders each of them off to a corner, and they do so, with Johnathan Doe and Dean Malenko starting the match off. Doe and Dean circle around the ring and lock up, and Dean puts Doe into a headlock. Doe shoves Dean off into the ropes, and Malenko comes back with a dropkick. Dean picks Johnathan up and knees him in the gut, then goes for an Irish whip. Doe reverses, and as Malenko comes back, he hip tosses him into the canvas. Doe delivers an elbowdrop before going to pin.*
1!
2!
*Malenko gets a shoulder up. Doe picks him up for a vertical suplex, but Dean's able to slide out behind him. Doe turns around and is met by a leg lariat from Malenko. Dean gets to his feet and tags in Perry. Saturn goes to the top rope and leaps off for an elbow drop. Saturn connects and goes to pin.*
1!
2!
*Doe kicks out. Saturn grabs Doe's legs, and catapults him into a corner. Unfortunately, it's the Squad corner, and as Doe hits the turnbuckles, Duke tags himself in. As Perry gets to his feet, Duke charges and connects with a shining wizard. Andy goes to pin, but Saturn grabs him and rolls him up. Perry was playing possum!*
1!
2!
*Kickout by Duke. Duke gets to his feet and goes for Perry, but Perry delivers a swift superkick and knocks Duke out. Saturn runs to the ropes and leaps off for a Saturnsault, but Duke rolls out of the way and Saturn lands on his feet. Duke gets up and dropkicks Perry into the ropes. Mike pulls down on the ropes and Perry rolls to the outside. Duke goes to the ropes, leaps off the middle one, and hits a Shooting Star Press to the standing Perry! Dean Malenko and Eddie Guerrero run into the ring, but Ragnal and Doe run in, Mike hitting a snap spinebuster to Malenko, and Doe with a flying shoulder tackle to Eddie. Duke, outside the ring, has Perry set stomach down on the barricade. He climbs onto the apron, and leaps off with a guillotine legdrop! Andy grabs Saturn and throws him back into the ring. Mike, positioned on top of the turnbuckles, leaps off, hitting a HIGH VOLTAGE to Saturn! Doe grabs Perry's legs, and in revenge catapults Perry into the ropes, but keeps a hold on his legs, and as Perry bounces off, he falls back onto Doe's legs! As Doe stands up, Eddie Guerrero runs at him and leaps onto his shoulders for a hurracanrana, but Doe brings Eddie back up for a powerbomb! Duke, alreaqdy back in the ring, grabs Perry and puts him into the CIDAL LOCK! Perry, with no other choice, Perry taps out.*
WINNERS: The Cidal Squad.
*Andy gets to his feet, and the Squad raise their arms high in victory. Dean Malenko is getting to his feet while facing a corner, and Mike takes note of it. He grabs Malenko so that his back's on his shoulders, and hits a Ragnalrok ON THE FALLEN SATURN! The crowd boos at the Elementalcidal man relentlessly as the Cidal Squad heads up the ramp, Mike flipping the crowd off as we fade out.*
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Shake A Leg
Team Rocket
PLEASE DEAR GOD, LET HIM KEEP THE STREAK!
Posts: 966
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Post by Shake A Leg on Mar 11, 2007 8:56:57 GMT -5
(Ace walks by the food table and notices Sum Guy)
Ace: Hey, hey what happend to you?
Sum Guy: Thunder and Jupiter lifted me up and threw on to the ground.
Ace: Aw, I so-
(Ace complain and/or rude femaleslaps Sum Guy and powerbombs him through the table)
Ace: See just like The Comedian, I don't like being called crazy. Now where's the hookers?
(Walks away flashing his money)
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Post by Redface: Dispenser of Justice on Mar 11, 2007 16:09:49 GMT -5
*Sum Guy is moving slowly down a empty hallway as the the shot opens. He appears to have a black eye and is walking with a severe limp. Redface Rodgers then appears in front of Sum Guy. Rodgers begins to speak but his voice is drowned out a loud, shrill shriek of terror let out by Sum Guy.*
Sum: I KNOW KARATE! LEAVE ME ALONE! *Begins flailing his arms wildly*
Redface: *grabbing Sum Guy's Arms* CALM YOUR ASS DOWN! Jeez, what's the matter with you?
Sum:*cautiously*...You're not gonna beat me up?
Redface: Not unless you give me a reason...Wow, who gave you that nasty shiner?
Sum: ...I don't know *long sigh* I have had a bad day, Red...
Redface: *ignoring Sum's last comment* Dude, did you see that someone stole Crauswell's coustume? Who ever did it was a GENIUS!...I wonder if I can get Crauswell to pay me to help him get it back...
Sum: I've been meaning to ask you about something...
Redface: Hmm?
Sum: That match you challenged Jason Jupiter to...
Redface: What?
Sum: You told Jason to meet you...
Redface: yeah, but not for a match.
Sum: Well then, what do you have planned...?
Redface: You'll just have to tune in on tuesday to find out. Now, I really have to go find Crauswell...
*Redface walks off camera as Sum Guy looks on, morbidly confused*
*Fade to Black*
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Shake A Leg
Team Rocket
PLEASE DEAR GOD, LET HIM KEEP THE STREAK!
Posts: 966
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Post by Shake A Leg on Mar 11, 2007 16:25:15 GMT -5
(Scene opens up at a Las Vegas casino where many games are being played and zooms in on Ace Robinson playling Blackjack)
Ace: Do you have the guts to go all in?
Blackjack dealer: 4.
Ace: Hit me. I do. (Pushes all his chips into the middle of the table) I love wrestling. Ever since I was a little kid.
Blackjack dealer: 15/
Ace: Hit me. After being on the indie scene for year, I'm ready to shine in EWT. From watching Undertaker, Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan, Eddie Guerrero, Bret Hart, Sting, and other greats on a farm in Arkansas to high rolling in Vegas.
Blackjack dealer: 21. You win.
(Blackjack dealer hands Ace all of his money and two hot ladies appear on each of his arm as they all leave)
Ace: I'm in it to win it baby! I'm taking over!
(Screen fades to black and a message appears. "Ace Robinson's in ring debut coming soon)
Ace: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
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Indigocrates
Unicron
I got bored. Decided to become a philosopher. Just 'cause.
Posts: 2,953
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Post by Indigocrates on Mar 11, 2007 18:38:32 GMT -5
*A revamped version of "War Machine" by KISS starts to play over the speakers and the crowd pops huge. Tazz comes out from the curtain and makes his way down to the ring.*
Penzer: "Thw following match is scheduled for one, and is for the EWT Toolshed Title! Making his way to the ring, from The Red Hook Section of Brooklyn, New York, weighing in at 240 pounds, TAZZ!"
*Tazz enters the ring and awaits the Toolshed Champ.*
*Hybrid Stigmata starts to play over the speakers and immediately the audience starts booing. Christopher Indigo comes out, Ingsoc flag draped over his head, Toolshed Title around his waist, and Terina accompanying him to the ring.*
Penzer: "And the opponent, being accompanied to the ring by Terina, from Calgary, Canada, weighing in at 125 pounds, he is the EWT Toolshed Champion, CHRISTOPHER INDIGO!"
Indigo enters the ring, gets on the top turnbuckle, and does the V symbol, eliciting more boos from the audience. Indigo takes off the flag and belt, hands them both to Terina on the outside, and she takes them over to the timekeeper. The two men circle each other in the ring, and the bell is rung, the match has begun.*
*Indigo charges towards Tazz, but Tazz catches him with a Head and arm Taz-Plex. Tazz then tries to go for a Tazmission, but Indigo kicks out of the hold and swipes at Tazz's leg, taking him down. Indigo immediately starts laying the boots to Tazz. He then picks up Tazz, and tosses him to the outside. Indigo then climbs to the top rope, and lands a Moonsault to the outside on Tazz! Indigo gets up and throws Tazz into the ring. Indigo then grabs a chair on the outside, slides back into the ring, and as Tazz is getting up, Indigo drives the chair into the head of Tazz. Indigo then picks up Tazz, sets him into position, and hits the Vision of Indigo! Indigo pins!
1!
2!
3!
DING DING DING!
Penzer: "Here's your winner, and still EWT Toolshed Champion, CHRISTOPHER INDIGO!"
*The ref gives Indigo his belt and raises his arm in victory. Indigo then points at the camera and shouts, "This will be you come the 25th!", obviously a message to JZ. We then cut to the next segment.
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Post by Koda, Master Crunchyroller on Mar 11, 2007 20:00:57 GMT -5
* "Hail to the Chief" begins to play *
Koda and his Cabinet all dressed in business suit swagger down to the ring with smirks on their faces. The crowd boos loudly at the men as they get into the ring, almost completely ignoring the crowd. Koda grabs a mic.
Koda: You know, something I've noticed in the EWT lately, really bothers me. It is the fact that we have loser champions! Disgraces to the titles they hold!
The crowd jeers him. Koda just looks at them and smiles.
Koda: You know, you're all only booing me, because you know it is true! We have a WOMAN as the Tri-State champion! What the hell is wrong with that?! I mean, then again, Mike Ragnal isn't much of a man. I think, if Oceanic had a match with a man that had a pair, maybe, like me, she wouldn't last a minute.
His Cabinet laughs, and the crowd continues to boo.
Koda: Oh, I'm not done. I've only BEGONE to rant. The Ox Division title, a title that I'm a former holder of, by the way, is in the grasp of a FURRY! What the HELL?! What's even worse is, he is obsessed with not only his outfit, but his title!
The crowd doesn't let up their boos.
Koda: Now onto...
Crowd: Booooo!!!!!!
Koda: Now onto....
Crowd: Booooooo!!!!!!!
Koda: Now ont......
Crowd: Booooo!!!!!!!!!
Grover Taft grabs the mic.
Taft: HEY! SHUT UP! "The President" Koda Kazar deserves respect!
Koda takes the mic back.
Koda: Thank you, Grover. Now, before I was RUDELY interrupted by you ignorant, redneck, hillbillies, I have to move onto our World champ. Well...actually, Merc is one hell of a guy, he is an awesome champ, may death come swiftly to his enemies. Now...onto one more champion. That's right, the Toolshed champion! Well...nah, he isn't even worth it. I stay away from those kinds of matches.
The crowd begins to chant "hypocrite".
Koda: Hey, I ONLY took Job Bher on in that match to prove my point to him.
Just then, Job Bher comes on the Toomitron.
Job: Admit it, you sick, twisted, bastard! You liked that match! You enjoyed it!
Koda: You know what? You're right, Job. You're absolutely right! I DID like it! I was happy whipping your worthless ass all over the ring!
Job: Worthless?! Worthless?! Well, NOW I'm worthless! Thanks to you! I was told earlier by my doctor that I may not recover from this injury for a whole year! I swear one thing, though. When I come back, I WILL kick....your....ASS!
The crowd cheers loudly as Koda and his Cabinet look at each other confused. We fade to commercial.
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Shake A Leg
Team Rocket
PLEASE DEAR GOD, LET HIM KEEP THE STREAK!
Posts: 966
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Post by Shake A Leg on Mar 11, 2007 21:17:20 GMT -5
(Ace Robinson walks up to Sum Guy)
Ace: HEY RETARD!
(Sum Guy turns around very angry)
Sum Guy: WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?!
Ace: Calm down. We'll find you an Asian guy to make you not so tense. Listen, Toom E. Dangerously, for my debut next week, I want my match to be a match of mine that was a speciality of mine back in my old promotions. I want you to find whoever the hell you want to face me and put us in a Cage match. Because when I'm in a cage, I always win. Now beat it b**ch.
(Kicks Sum Guy in the ass and walks away)
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 11, 2007 21:50:46 GMT -5
*The scene cuts to what is none other than the office of Toom E. Dangerously. As he is filling out paperwork, the doors fly open, Thunder, Terina, and both Jupiters walk in.*
Toom:...what can I do for you?
Terina: We're here to see what you can do about getting our friend here a match.
Jack: Whuh? Me?
Jason: Of course. You deserve a chance to prove it.
Toom: What do you mean?
Terina: What do we mean? We mean a match for next week. A singles match.
Thunder: Yeah, keep me and Jason tagging, but give 'ol Jacky boy here a match.
Jack: YEAH! I'm a huge success otherwise, and I want that chance to prove myself before my first PPV match!
Toom*in a dry tone*: I'll see what I can do.
Jason: You better. You can tell this kid is achin' to have a singles match.
Jack: I don't care if it's a local talent, but someone, anyone, that would make me stoked!
Thunder: I'm not your daddy, but work on your lines, Jack. Nobody's going to--
*Just then, Aaron Chamblis walks in as well.*
Aaron: I noticed the door's open! And I--
*Thunder and Chamblis make direct eye contact with one another, as Jack looks on in disarray.*
Jack: Who are you?
Aaron: I'm Aaron Chamblis, recently--
Jason: Pipe down!
Aaron: Alrigjt, fine. No need to get nasty. Eh Toom, could you book me in a match? Singles of course, but people aren't saying much about me after my loss to Jimmy over here.
*Points to Thunder.*
Toom: We'll see. Now, if you guys could leave me to my business, THAT WOULD BE NICE. Thank you.
Jason: And--
Toom: No, no, I don't want to hear it. Get out.
Terina: If you--
Toom: OUT.
*As TJT and Jack turn around and walk out, Aaron faces the camera, and shrugs.*
Toom: What are you still doing here?
Aaron: Oh me? I'm on my way out.
*Chamblis turns and leaves, carefully shutting the door. Cut to a commercial break.*
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Post by Oceanic on Mar 11, 2007 23:34:13 GMT -5
Back from commercial we get a shot of the ring and couple of dings from the bell, the 80's wrestling trend of saying of "Shut up and pay attention! A match is gonna start!"
Fink: "The next contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the Tri State Championship! Introducing first, from Ontario Canada, the challenger.............TRISH STATUS!"
Trish's theme (whatever that is) comes on and she marches down the ramp as the crowd cheers. She enters the ring and grabs her cowboy hat and holds it up into the air for more cheery cheers. Her music dies down and "From Sinking" replaces it, getting a completely different reaction.
Fink: "And her opponent, from Kauai Hawaii, she is the current Tri State champion...........OCEANIC!"
Oceanic comes out from the back slowly but looks very bored. In fact, with the exception of taping her wrists and ankles and the Tri State title around her waist, didn't bother to get properly dressed for the match, coming down to the ring in a white tank top and a pair of Adidas track pants. Without the slightest trace of enthusiasm she enters the ring and simply hands the belt over to the referee, walks over to her corner, and lies down like she's going to sleep. The bell rings and although Trish is ready to go Oceanic makes no move. Trish walks over to her and tells her to get up but Oceanic simply motions for Trish to back up. Finally Trish grabs Oceanic by the hair and yanks her up to her feet, which gets a pretty good pop from the crowd. Trish gives Oceanic a couple good shots to the chest and sends her into the ropes for a clothesline but Oceanic catchers her arm, winds it up, and drives her elbow right into Trish's elbow. Trish grabs her arm and turns around just to receive a super kick right in the gizzard. Trish hits the mat and Oceanic is right on top of her, blasting away with a series of elbow strikes to the face. Oceanic pulls Trish up by the hair and unceremoniously throws her into the corner where she nails her with a running Knee Bazooka. Oceanic places Trish on the top rope and picks her up, dropping her in the center of the ring with the Hawaiian Muscle Buster. Oceanic signals for the end and climbs up to the top rope. She measures Trish and leaps off for the Superfly Splash, but instead lands on her feet, flips off the crowd with both hands, and places her shin across Trish's throat for the pin.
1................ 2............... 3!
Fink: "Here is your winner, and still Tri State Champion............OCEANIC!"
The crowd continues it's chorus of boos directed at Oceanic, who yawns and takes her title from the ref. She exits the ring and begins to walk to the back when she looks up and sees the ref helping Trish to her feet on the Toomitron. Oceanic turns around an watches as Trish stands up, holding her head, and the crowd gives her a round of applause for the effort. Oceanic looks on, totally insulted that Trish is getting cheered for losing and she blows her stack. Suddenly Oceanic runs back into the ring and takes Trish back down again with big lariat and applies TAAS. The ref tries to break the hold but Oceanic won't let go as the timekeeper rings the bell over and over, like that's going to do anything. After several moments of tugging and pulling on Trish's arm Oceanic finally lets go, looking very peeved. She stomps Trish for good measure, scoops up her title belt, then storms back to the locker room fuming all the way. Meanwhile, back in the ring, several people look after the downed Trish to make sure she's ok.
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Post by SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman on Mar 12, 2007 13:49:34 GMT -5
*We' re at the EWT arena' s parking, Mysth is reaching his motorbike ( because yes, he owns a motorbike). Mysth notices something on it.*
Mysth : A fine on my bike ? Although I' m parked on the workers' parking ? Is there some confused cop around here ?
*Mysth grabs the fine.*
Mysth : *reading* "Reason for the fine : ... cursed soul ?!" Yeah... really funny... jeez, some poeple really need to get a life...
*Mysth throws the fine but suddenly, hiss eyes catch something.*
Mysth : ... a black spot... again... yeah... they really need to get a life... and to leave mine alone...
*Mysth tries to move off the bike, but it blantantly refuses to do so.*
Mysth : Come ON !! You' re not gonna start f' king around too ! COME ON ! I just filled you with nice, brand new fuel !!
...
Oh, great... I can call a garage mechanic...
*Later, at the garage...*
Mysth : So, what' s wrong with it ?
Mechanic : Well, maybe you wont believe me but... the engine is full with sea water...
Mysth : WHAT ??
Mechanic : I swear !
Mysth : Well... I believe you. I had some... troubles with water lately...
Mechanic : Oh, well, er... that' s not the only thing...
Mysth : Well, what ?
Mechanic : Well... the salt from the water... it has... completely pulled the engine down... I can' t repair that...
Mysth : WHAT ??!!! I HAD JUST FINISHED PAYING IT !!
Mechanic : Well... really sorry...
Mysth : NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ! Disparity when facing wet nuisances !!
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Post by thecursedone on Mar 12, 2007 13:52:22 GMT -5
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Post by Rick Raskall on Mar 12, 2007 16:11:06 GMT -5
"Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Can See" by Busta Rhymes plays as the fans are ready to boo Rick Raskall, who comes out again on the carriage. As the men bring the carriage to ringside, Howard Finkel makes the introductions.Howard Finkel: The following contest is scheduled for ONE fall! Introducing first, from Los Angeles, California, weighing 209 pounds, RICK...RASKALL!! Raskall has already entered the ring, where his servant girls remove his robe and sunglasses. Raskall retrieves a microphone before his opponent is announced.Raskall: I understand that a certain Toom E. Dangerously was short-sighted enough to make a match between Marcus Trunk and Chyna this week. Toom, if you don't recall, I left Trunk in a bloody heap last week, and he's a little less than able to lump around and lose yet another match this week. So I suppose I owe an apology to that oversized, slobbering manbeast for not having a match -- oh, and apologies to Trunk, as well -- but at least I'm here to reward you with my presence. Booing and a chant of "We Want Trunk!" starts.Raskall: Wow, you people have bad memories. So apparently, I'm supposed to waste another five minutes kicking in the teeth of another indie schmuck who's life isn't even worth more than this sweet pair of shades. So let's get this over with. Bring him out. With that, Jerry "The King" Lawler enters through the curtain to his royal anthem, to a modest pop from the fans. Raskall looks unimpressed.Raskall: So they had to dig up this old fossil just to make me look better. Hey King, shouldn't you be sitting at home on the crapper with your face in some barely-legal skin mag? Lawler enters the ring, glaring at Raskall.Lawler: I may not be as agile as I used to be, but that doesn't mean I won't kick your ass! Lawler drops Raskall with a punch as the bell rings. Raskall gets to his feet, but gets dropped with another punch. Lawler winds up for another big punch, but Raskall blocks, hitting a jumping enzuigiri that knocks Lawler to the mat. Raskall rolls Lawler over and goes down to one knee, spreading his arms out as he places one foot on Lawler's chest.1...2...Lawler kicks out. Raskall gets Lawler to his feet, but Lawler punches Raskall in the head. He hits several more punches to the head, then whips him to the ropes and bodyslams him. Lawler pulls down his strap and raises his fist in the air, signalling for his fist drop. Lawler scales the ropes, but Raskall gets to his feet. In one fluid motion, Raskall leaps up to the top rope, springs onto Lawler's shoulders, and flips him off with a hurricanrana!
With Lawler down and out, Raskall climbs up to the top rope. The fans are anticipating the Raskall House Special. But instead of hitting the frog splash, Raskall shakes his head and steps off. He ignores the crowd venomously booing him and gets Lawler to his feet. He hooks in the full nelson, then nails the lungblower. He then switches to the dragon sleeper, locking in the body scissors. Lawler quickly taps out.Howard Finkel: Here is your winner...RICK...RASKALL!! The servant girls redress Raskall in his robe and sunglasses, and he returns to his golden carriage, which makes its way back up the ramp.
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Post by Virus aka Captain No-Nuts on Mar 12, 2007 17:11:23 GMT -5
(We fade back from commercial to find ourselves in the Infectious Diseases Ward. The professor we've seen twice before is sitting in his office, head in his hands, looking utterly defeated. As he heaves a sigh, we see the words Time Until Outbreak: 6 minutes across the bottom of the screen. They disappear as the professor draws a bottle of whiskey and a shot glass out from under his desk. He pours himself a shot.)Professor: Well... we'll all be dead in a few days anyway... (The professor goes to slam the shot down, but is interrupted as the scientist that burst into his lecture almost a week ago bursts into his office. The professor looks at him, then slowly sets the shot back down at the look of unbridled happiness on the scientist's face.)Scientist: Sir! We did it! The sample has been found and put safely back into quarantine! (Relief floods the professor's face, and he grabs another shotglass before filling it with some of the whiskey. The two men toast to a disaster avoided and then down the shots as we fade to black...
... only to have the countdown return, this time at 5 minutes. The opening strains of "Heaven's a Lie" begin to play over the PA, and the crowd goes nuts at what this means.)Oh no, here it is again I need to know when I will fall in decay (We see a glimpse of Virus's first promo, with the greyscale ring and Virus's introduction of himself. This fades into his feud with EN Bunk.)Something wrong with every plan of my life I didn't really notice that you've been here (We see the hellacious superplex from the Extreme Heat before We Couldn't be Arsed With a Name, and the ring collapse that ensued.)Dolefully desired Destiny of a lie (And now we are treated to the backdrop off of the side of the steel cage, the image freezing as EN Bunk goes head over heels in his descent to the mat for a brief moment before unpausing.)Set me free your heaven's a lie set me free with your love set me free [yeah] (A quick montage of Virus's next battles... the two matches with Limey, the #1 Contender's Tournament...)Oh no, here it is again I need to know why did I choose to betray you (Just as the song gets to "betray", we see the image of Virus standing, arms raised by Canceler and Prinicipal Pain, over Limey and Spaz, a look of utter contempt on his face.)Something wrong with all the plans of my life I didn't realize that you've been here (And now we see brutal spots from the PTA vs Generation Tech feud, ending with a freeze-frame of Virus getting planted through the ring during the Outdoor Elimination Chamber.)Dolefully desired Destiny of a lie (The superkick to Prinicipal Pain that marked the beginning of the end for the PTA plays.)Set me free your heaven's a lie set me free with your love set me free [yeah] (A freeze-frame of the Shooting Star Press from the Detention Match at Crap-a-Mania 3.)Set me free your heaven's a lie set me free with your love set me free (And as the song draws to a close, we see Virus, walking towards the camera, purposefully, reinvigorated. And the clock reappears, counting down from 10 seconds, the crowd counting down as well. As the countdown hits zero...)Virus (over the PA system): PREPARE... TO BE... INFECTED! (The crowd goes into an immediate ovation as "Purify" by Lacuna Coil blares over the loudspeakers. Virus comes out from under the CrapTron, looking a little leaner then the last time we saw him several months ago, and sporting a flame-red trenchcoat, but otherwise unchanged. He bows to the crowd with a smile on his face, slapping hands with every outstretched arm down one side of the ramp, then going back up the other side. He does this all the way around the ringside area as well before getting into the ring and getting a microphone. He goes to speak, but is overwhelmed by "WELCOME BACK! *clap, clap, clap clap clap*" chants. He motions for silence, and the roar of the crowd dulls slightly.)Virus: God DAMN, it's good to be back! (The crowd roars in approval.) You know... that Detention Match at Crap-a-Mania 3 took a lot more out of me then I thought it did. Hell, it took a lot out of EVERYBODY in that match. Canceler's still chasing his dreams of being a yoga instructor -- as absurd as the thought of that big lug doing yoga and downing tofu-burgers sounds, I guess he's having the time of his life. Principal Pain... (The crowd boos.) well, he's still around, but he isn't exactly wrestling much anymore. Eddie Omega... (The crowd cheers.) ... he seems to have recovered nicely enough to try throwing his career again in that Leviathan Chamber 8 days ago. Crazy though he may be, I thought he might have had it won a few times. Virus: ... but I'm rambling now. After that match, I was more injured then I cared to admit to anybody. A part of me seemed missing, incomplete in some way. After a few weeks, after I took care of some personal demons back at home... I thought I was ready to return. But it turns out those demons weren't quite exorcised. They chased me here, to the EWT, and I was shaken to my core. Picking a fight with Deamon Cohln probably wasn't the best idea in the world either. ... I finally snapped. I wandered the streets of my small little hometown back in Idaho, trying to find the piece of me that was missing. And I did. I had a fan walk up to me one day, and tell me how I had inspired him to reach for higher goals then he'd ever dreamed of before. That's when it hit me... that's why I'm here. I'm here to give you guys entertainment. Not to win titles, although that'd certainly be nice. Not for the fame, although that's nice too. I'm here to give you all a show. Virus: And a show I'll give you. Be on notice, EWT... Virus is back, and he's going to give these people his all in this ring, NIGHT IN and NIGHT OUT. You'd better be prepared to do the same... or you had better PREPARE... TO BE... (The capacity crowd joins in at this point...) INFECTED!(Virus slams down the microphone and leaves through the crowd, exchanging high-fives with the fans all the way to the upper decks as "Purify" plays once more over the loud speakers. We are left with the image of Virus amongst the fans as we fade to commercial.)
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Post by crauswell on Mar 12, 2007 19:11:25 GMT -5
Crash Holly's theme is heard fading out as he stands in the ring, nervously shaking as he looks back and forth, awaiting his opponent, as he says a prayer for himself. The referee simply watches, as the lits dim, as extra angry pyro going off, but instead of Broken Wings, this little number starts up as the crowd looks on in confusion as a furious looking Crauswell stomps out, Ox Division belt around his waist, as he's wearing some new wrestling attire as well, a blood red traditional wrestling outfit, pure black wrestling boots, skin painted completely yellow and that same mask on his face as he growls, instead and spreading those wings, since he obviously can't do that, he drops down on all fours, simply stepping down the rampway, a intense hatred emanating from him as he makes his way to the apron, hopping up and stepping inside, the referee walking over to check on him, only to get swiped at as he quickly jumps out of the way, the crowd a bit split. Craus looks at Crash at the other side of the ring, dropping down on both knees and simply scanning over him as the bell rings. Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, the challenger, allegedly weighing in at... 400 pounds, from Mobile Alabama, Crash Holly! The crowd cheers, giving Crash a nice reaction, as he waves to them in reply. Announcer: And the opponent, from Parts Unknown... weighing in at 272 pounds, he is the current EWT Ox Division Champion... Crauswell!!! Crauswell hops up, simply looking at Crash on the other side, the bell ringing, as Craus charges, tackling Crash into the turnbuckle, unleashing a furious flurry of Forearms, chops, kicks, and even a few headbutts, as he then whips him off to the other side, stomping the mat, then charging full speed, obliterating him with a Yakuza Kick, the force literally sending him over the turnbuckle and to the outside! Crash groans, slowly kneeling to his feet as Crauswell vaults to the outside, yanking Crash up by the throat, jamming his face viciously into the steel post, pulling him away and hoisting him up, dropping him across the outside barrier once again face bouncing off metal. Crash bounces back, clutching that face, as Crauswell grabs his neck, blasting him with a series of nasty knees, before pulling him back and tossing him into the ring. He growls, hopping onto the apron, stepping in to break up the count, then back onto the apron, as he stomps viciously right at Crash's face, eventually busting him open with the ruthless force as the furry pulls him back into the ring, lifting and whipping him off the ropes, as he catches him with a Flapjack to the mat! Crash groans, Craus grabbing and smearing his bloody face into the mat, as he grinds it against, before yanking him back up to his feet once again, leaving him standing as he simply blasts him in the face with a flurry of quick kicks, Crash barely able to stand as he clutches his bleeding face, dropping down to both knees, Craus running off the ropes and leveling him with another running knee! He then pounces atop, literally crawling and scratching viciously, as he opens the wound further, Crash screaming in pain as Craus pulls him up again, lifting him up for a Powerbomb, turning it into a Facebuster, as Crash bleeds a seemingly never ending fountain of blood, barely able to stand. The crowd simply watches in silence... as Crauswell simply stands over the motionless opponent, looking down at his handiwork. Crash manages to fight up to his feet though, unleashing a flurry of weak attacks, then running off the ropes, going for a jumping clothesline, only to get caught with ease as Craus sets him on his feet, trapping the arms, then unleashing a series of brutal headbutts, before pulling Crash up onto his shoulders, carrying atop the top turnbuckle, then jumping off with a top rope Death Valley Driver. Crash makes a sickening thud, as he lays unconcious, Crauswell slowly sitting up, seemingly numb to any pain he felt, as the referee finally intervenes... coming between the two. He checks on Crash, who is in no condition to continue, as he walks to the outside, saying something to the announcer. Announcer:Ladies and gentlemen... the winner of this match... as a result of KNOCK OUT... and still Ox Division Champion.... Crauswell! Crauswell however seems not to be done, as he pulls Crash up, reaching over with a single digit... as he starts painting something on Crash's chest with his own blood! The crowd boos viciously as the furry simply holds Crash up to the world, the thing now simply saying "Extinct" as he drops the limp body to the ground, as EMTs are already on the way, as HUBOON STOMP starts up once again, Crauswell slowly walking back up, after claiming his belt, watching poor Crash being loaded onto a stretcher, stepping backwards slowly up the mat, as he eventually exits to the back while we fade to commercial.
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