*after the stunned silence, Funaki's music breaks it*
www.youtube.com/watch?v=HaBqbaKgiyE*Lillian remembers her job and begins to introduce Funaki*
Lillian: From Tokyo, Japan; Weighting in at 180 lbs.... FU-NA-KI!
Styles: Oh right, there's still matches on the card.
JR: It won't be the same as it was before that senseless attack, now this show has a dark looming shadow over it.
Styles: No kidding.
*Funaki enters to much fanfare, fitting as the crowd is willing to cheer for anything right now. He reaches out and tags a few hands then enters the ring. He climbs the turnbuckle raises his arm.*
JR: We now wait for his opponent and Axel's tag partner.
Styles: Yes, the captain of the “Wrestle Posse” Tenacious J & A... Woof, what a piece of work.
JR: As long as the kid enjoys himself, I'm for it.
Styles: You always are, JR.
* “Dare To Be Stupid” blares over the speakers *
www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVS1ykd8mqALillian: And from Jobstown, New Jersey; Weighting in at 258 lbs... JOE-BY MCJOBBERSTON!
Styles: Another Job from Jobstown, New Jersey? Jeez, there must be a whole family of them. I just hope are you able to tell them apart, JR.
JR: ...I wonder when this kid is going to actually to come out?
*At the 0:56 mark, Jobby McJobberston runs out and is waving his arms everywhere. He enters to “mark” cheers. He reaches the ramp, turns and does a moonwalk halfway down the ramp. He then runs side to side high fiving the crowd. He reaches the ring and runs around the ring, high fiving the crowd before he enters the ring. Funaki just stares at the ring attire of Jobby, suggesting that even he knows that Jobby looks foolish. The music ends and the bell rings.*
Styles: He....seems....happy.
JR: I tell you what Joey, I like his energy and drive to please the crowd.
Styles: Let's just hope he has a better showing than his tag partner.
*Jobby points to the crowd behind Funaki and Funaki questionly turns. Jobby grabs Funaki's hand while he's distracted.*
Styles: Well, perhaps Jobby is the smarter one from J & A.
JR: Joey, that's not their full name.
Styles: If every time I mention them that I have to use their full name, I'll never have time to say anything.
*Jobby energetically shakes Funaki's hand.*
Styles: I guess that makes Axel the brains of the group. Oh boy.
JR: Oh will you cut that out.
Styles: Sorry Gorilla.
*JR & Styles both chuckle slightly*
JR: Back to the match please.
*Jobby lets go and Funaki holds his arm, Jobby then turns to waves to the crowd. Funaki run bounds off the ropes and hits a clothesline to the back of Jobby's head. Jobby goes down to one knee, to which Funaki tries to gain the upper hand on the bigger Jobby and repeatedly punches the back of Jobby's head. Jobby starts hulking up while Funaki continues to punch Jobby.*
JR: That seems familiar.
Styles: It seems that Jobby not only loves 80s pop culture but wrestling figures as well.
*Funaki, sensing what may come next, runs to bound off the ropes to end this copyright infringement. But upon reaching the shaking Jobby, he is taken down with a Drop Toe Hold. Jobby points to the downed Funaki and runs to the ropes.*
Styles: I wonder what he's going for.
*As soon as Jobby reaches the ropes he trips on his own foot and lands face first to the mat. Sparking laughter from the crowd. A few “You waxed Up” chants are heard.*
JR: *chuckles* What do you make of this?
Styles: Maybe that there's a reason that he's named Jobby?
JR: Can't fault him for his mother's choice of a name.
Styles: Can't fault her either, it's not like she named him Seriously Graceful.
*Funaki uses this time to recover and pulls himself to his feet. By this time, Jobby is up by the very ropes he tripped by. Funaki charges toward Jobby only to be Shoulder Back Tossed to the outside. Jobby waits until Funaki is almost to his feet before running to the opposite side of the ring and back to pick up momentum.*
Styles: Could Jobby be going for a dive to the outside?!
*Jobby stops right at the ropes and says “Boo” to Funaki. As a knee jerk reaction, Funaki ducks which allows Jobby to smack him on the back of the head. To much crowd laughter. Funaki takes a step back and stares at Jobby questioningly as he rubs his head.*
JR: ...That was unique.
Styles: Not if you watch ROH! I may be fired soon...
*Jobby plays to the crowd and Funaki is able to enter the ring. They lock up in the center. Funaki kicks Jobby in the stomach and locks him a headlock. Funaki seems to think he has Jobby where he wants him but Jobby raises a Lawler-like finger in the air. Funaki is surprised to find the ground no longer behind him and even more so when his head & neck hit the ground.*
Styles: That's gotta hurt.
JR: I remember that from somewhere.
*Jobby quickly floats over to apply a headlock on the ground. Funaki struggles to escape but to little success. Jobby puts Funaki to his feet, while locking him still in a headlock and runs to hit a bulldog. Jobby stands and looks to the crowd for advice. He points to the ropes and gets a few cheers. He points to the outside and gets not as much cheers. He points to the turnbuckle and gets some massive cheers. He exits to the apron only to be halted by Funaki. Jobby breaks Funaki's grip then hits a jawbreaker with aid from the ropes. Funaki sprung backwards and rolls to land on his stomach. Jobby climbs to the turnbuckle nearest to Funaki. Yet while on the top rope Jobby trips and crotches himself. Loud laughter and “Ohs!” are heard.*
Styles: I'm thinking that was a bad idea.
JR: I believe he calls that a Bad Nigher.
Styles: He names his screw ups?
JR: He is a rather odd kid isn't he... Not that there's anything wrong with that...
*Funaki recovers to see a lucky sight, Jobby set up for a Rising Sun. He climbs to the ropes and locks in a headlock. As he goes to swing Jobby, he goes flying by himself as Jobby has a hold of the top rope to secure himself. Jobby steps down slowly, still recovering from his “signature move” and steps behind Funaki. Funaki stands looking at the turnbuckle were Jobby was only to be lifted to Jobby's shoulders. Before he can react Jobby spins towards the middle of the ring and hits the Job.*
Styles: This could be it! That looks to be the end of Funaki!
JR: Job just hit the Jobby on TAKA!
Styles: What?
*Jobby smiles at the crowd and again tries to climb the ropes when he hears massive boos. He looks around and doesn't notice that Terina has run in from the crowd to the ring. The referee promptly smiles and “tries to prevent her from entering”. Jobby sees her and the smile disappears from his face.*
JR: THAT'S THAT DAMN JEZEBEL!!! SHE'S RUINING THIS EVENT AGAIN!
Styles: She's not banned from the building yet!?
*From the other side of the ring, behind both the referee and Jobby's back, Jimmy Thunder and Jason Jupiter rush over to ringside from the crowd. Jobby steps down, looking at Terina.*
Styles: WHERE THE HELL IS THE SECURITY!
*Jobby turns as he is kicked in the nether regions. Thunder quickly yet barely lifts Jobby for the Crucifix with Jupiter is right there with him ready for his part.*
JR: NO!
Styles: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?!
*A very loud thud sound comes from the mat as the two hit the Thunder has Struck on Jupiter on Jobby. The crowd erupts in boos as Thunder and Jupiter bask in the sight of their handy work. They then mock Jobby by waving at the crowd and they return back into the crowd. Satisfied, Terina turns to the crowd and blows a kiss then begins to walk where her boys are. The ref turns around to see Funaki stirring and staring in disbelief at the downed Jobby.*
JR: NO! NO! DAMNIT! NOT THIS WAY!
*He places an arm over Jobby and the referee counts*
......1
........2
............3!
*The bell rings and the speakers play Funaki's music as TJT marvel at what they've done before leaving in style*
Lillian: And you're winner... Funaki..
*Funaki gets to his feet and realizes that he won. His victory celebration is short as Axel runs to the ring to check on Jobby. Funaki decides he'll just go away peacefully and exits as Axel enters. Axel tries to talk to Jobby but he looks to be out cold.*
JR: THAT'S TWICE NOW THAT THOSE DAMN TJT HAVE RUINED THIS SOLEMN EVENT!!!
Styles: I HOPE THAT SOMEONE GETS OFF THEIR FAT ASS AND BANS THOSE THREE FROM THIS BUILDING!
*Fade into commerical*
