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Post by Rick Raskall on Dec 13, 2006 12:50:31 GMT -5
Rick Raskall is watching TV and fiddling with the remote when Marcus Trunk enters.
Raskall: Hey Trunk, haven't seen you in a couple of days. How's your neck?
Trunk: Holding up fine. What're you doing?
Raskall: As long as I'm rehabbing from that latest attack from Team Ireland, I decided to take the time and get started on our compilation DVD. I've got our EWT debut match, a few of our singles matches, my matches with Syxx and Raven, your match at Rebirth, some of our Hugo and Dynamo stuff, the Colosseum bit, and I even dug up some footage of our pre-EWT matches. Remember this one?
The TV shows a match from around 2004, in front of a fairly small indy crowd. The footage is a bit grainy.
Trunk: Damn! Atomic Pro Wrestling 2004, the night we won the tag titles.
On TV: The opponent climbs to the top rope, but Raskall knocks him off-balance. Raskall goes up to the second rope and puts the opponent on his shoulders. Trunk comes from behind and climbs to the second rope, hitting the Bulldozer and driving the opponent through a table. The referee makes the three-count, and Raskall and Trunk win the tag titles.
Raskall: See that? That's our inspiration. We were on top of that company, and soon we'll be on top of EWT as the new tag team champions.
Trunk: You got any more footage?
Raskall: Of course. Wait, I've got something you'll love. Remember this from last month?
On TV
Just then, the sound of a big band is heard in the distance. The EWT stars perk up in notice. Suddenly, a large float appears over the horizon, preceded by a huge marching band. More large floats follow.
Raskall: Ladies and Gentlemen of EWT, welcome to Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade!
Indeed, Raskall has managed to divert the Macy's Parade right to the EWT Arena! The EWT stars ooh and aah at the numerous floats.
Curly Long: Hey, what's going on? I can't see a thing! Big, get me up!
Mr. Big hoists Curly onto his shoulders.
Curly Long: Wait, he brought the whole damn parade with him?
Just then, a sound of uproarious laughter waves throughout the crowd of EWT stars.
Curly Long: What is it? What are they laughing about?
Mr. Big: I don't know, I'll try to...Uh oh.
Curly Long: What is it? ...Oh, son of a b****.
A large turkey float drives by the EWT stars. On the float are spray-painted the words "Curly Long Sucks!" in huge red letters.
Curly Long: What?!? What?!? Dammit, this is unfair!
As the float passes by, even more laughter echoes throughout the crowd as they see an official Curly Long(r) EWT Wrasslin' Buddytm shoved up the turkey's butt. Everybody is doubled over in laughter. Even Toom E. Dangerously, normally the stern, emotionless type, is rolling on the ground.
Curly Long: WHAT?!? Big, put me down! I'm outta here!
The crowd continues to laugh hysterically as Curly storms back towards the EWT Arena, with Big following close behind.
Stop tape
Raskall is rolling on the floor laughing.
Raskall: Oh my God, that was great! You know, normally I don't like to look at Curly's ugly gap-toothed face, but that was worth it! Seriously, when we win those tag titles in a couple weeks, I'm going to have a party and show that tape in a constant loop.
Trunk: Um, Rick? Just a question: Where exactly did you get all this footage? I'm pretty sure it's private property of EWT.
Raskall: Marcus, Marcus. Don't worry. I've got that taken care of.
Cut to the EWT film locker. The door is wide open, and the words "SUM GUY WUZ HERE" are spray-painted on the door. Nearby, Sum Guy is lying on the floor, his hands covering in black spray paint. He awakens as two security guards point their clubs at him.
Sum Guy: I'm Sum Guy, and I've been framed!
The guards cart him off as we fade to commercial.
Commercial for ICOMORPHOROIDOPROPLEX "protein enhancers"
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Boku AKA Da Green Guy
El Dandy
WC's Resident Pirate Otaku and Official Scapegoat
Always and Forever, Hurricane.
Posts: 8,371
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Post by Boku AKA Da Green Guy on Dec 13, 2006 18:24:56 GMT -5
*camera focuses into binder paper, with penciled words written on it. Boston's “More Than A Feeling” playing in the background.*
“It's time for a new tag team, one for the ages!”
*paper is dropped to reveal a white paper background. A large build, medium black haired guy with a 80s headband and attire, leans into the screen*
“Hey, dudes! This is Jobby McJobberston and I wa-”
*voice from off screen, in another room*
“That's a terrible start for our debut promo...”
“Sorry, I was nervous!”
“...How can you be nervous? It's taped!”
“...Well after the money I spent on my headband... We blew all the funds for our debut videos... So I don't have any editing equipment or extra tapes, so we have to do this first one on one try on a blockbuster advertising tape.”
“You're joking...”
“Nope.”
“Can't we record over it if we screw up?”
*startches head nervously*
“I sold the battery cord of the camera for the rest of my attire”
“WHAT?! So how much battery life do we have?”
"About five minutes.”
“...Wait? You're whole attire was payed for with the money from a camera cord?”
“YEA! I can't believe that the thrift store had them on sale for $0.22! I would have payed at least $0.50 for these awesome pants and shirt!”
“Awesome is not the word for those monstrosities ...So you got $0.50 for the cord to a $200 video camera...”
“Good deal right?”
“Ugh..... How much time do we have before the tape is due?”
“It's due tomorrow.”
“... Greeeaaat.. I'm forced to tag with an idiot... *sighs* How much battery life did we just blow?”
*steps forward to check, camera recording his neon green, T-shirt cloaked chest. Black marker writing on it says “Everybody loves the Job!”*
“The tape's running out!”
“Okay, fine. I'll make my intro then. I really hope that you don't have one of the songs on your Cassette player playing in the background.”
*steps back and looks to the right, scratches head and looks nervous.*
“...About th-”
*static, tape ends*
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Post by Ultimo Chocula on Dec 14, 2006 2:24:35 GMT -5
Lillian: "The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, being led to the ring by Luscious Jimmy Valiant, Greg "The Hammer" Valentine & Dino Bravo, The New Dream Team!"
(Down the ramp the three heels come out to half boos/half indifference since a lot of the fans in attendance consider The Rock "old school". Learn your history, kids. Anyhoo, they enter the ring to no theme music (Not everyone had theme music it in those days. Fun fact). Valiant laughs and points to his two charges, Bravo flexing his muscles and Valentine fluffing his stringy hair. "Poor And Weird" comes on and the crowd cheers for the now fully face UC and the Dream.)
Lillian: "And their opponents, the team of Ultimo Chocula and The American Dream Dusty Rhodes!"
(UC bounces out from the back hopping up and down playing to the crowd and Dusty follows dancing around. The two head down the ramp slapping fives with various fans and enter the ring. Dusty does his dance while talking jive to the Hammer and Bravo. UC lets him have his moment since it is kind of funny. After the usual pre match hoo ha the bell rings.
Valentine and UC start off and lock up. Valentine gets the early advantage and sends UC into the ropes. Valentine goes for a shoulder block but UC spins around it and open hand slaps Greg right in the mug. UC puts Valentine in a side headlock and wrenches in on it. Valentine pushes UC off and tries with a back elbow but UC ducks it and lays Valentine out on the rebound with a flying forearm. Valentine scrambles up but gets a couple boots in the stomach before UC takes him down again with a spinning heel kick. Valentine does the world famous heel butt scoot to his corner and tags in Bravo.
Bravo enters and slaps his chest in an attempt to intimidate UC. The two circle one another and Bravo attempts a forearm smash but UC drops and trips him up with a drop toe hold. Bravo crashes face first in the mat and UC hits a quick leg drop across the back of the head. UC picks Bravo up while wringing the arm and goes over to his corner and tags in Dusty. The Dream enters and gives Bravo an elbow smash across his twisted up arm and takes over the arm wringing duties.
Dusty arm drags Bravo over and puts pressure on the arm while Bravo struggles to get out of it but he can't since Bravo wasn't all that great in the first place. Eventually they both stand up and Bravo gives Dusty an eye rake to finally break the arm bar. Bravo revs up and attempts a forearm smash but Dusty back body drops Bravo up and over the top rope and crashing to the outside. The Hammer sees this and runs into the ring to blast Dusty but UC sees this and Springboard Dropkicks him in the face, cutting him off. UC sends Valentine into Dusty and once again he back body drops his opponent up and over, taking out Bravo in the process who was trying to stand up. Valiant comes over to check on his team as Dusty and UC see their opening. As the two Dream Teamers stand up UC hits the ropes and launches himself off of Dusty's back, taking out Valiant, Valentine, and Bravo with the Cannonball Run. The crowd hoots it's approval as UC stands up eggs the crowd on. UC picks Bravo up and tosses him back into the ring for Dusty to make a pin attempt.
1................... 2....................
Kick out. Dusty puts Bravo in a front face lock, tags in UC and he jumps off the top rope, blasting Bravo in the back with an elbow. UC sends Bravo into the ropes and knocks him down with a running drop kick. UC covers.
1............. 2.................
Kick out. UC gives Bravo a couple elbow drops in the mug then climbs up the ropes, launching himself off and hitting Bravo with a Knee Sault. He covers again.
1............ 2.............
Kick out. Bravo might not be a good worker but he is resilient. UC tags Dusty back in and sends Bravo into the ropes. UC catches Bravo in the stomach with a dropkick while Dusty runs the ropes and hits Dino with a bulldog. That's teamwork! Dusty scoops Bravo up and bodyslams him in the center of the ring. Dusty does a funky dance, hits the ropes and comes down with an elbow drop. He covers.
1........... 2.............
Valentine breaks it up. The Hammer has had enough and pounds away on the back of Dusty's head. UC enters and tries to fight off Valentine as well. Soon enough the two on one gives UC and Dusty the advantage. Dusty hits Hammer with a Bionic Elbow, which causes him to turn and take a Bionic Elbow from UC, which cause him to turn back to Dusty to take another Bionic Elbow, then he turns and takes another one from UC. This series of events happens ten more times.....TEN MORE TIMES! That's a lotta Bionic Elbows. Dusty revs up, twirls his arms around, lifts his leg up and BLAMMO! Dusty hits Valentine with the final Bionic Elbow right on Valentine's face. Valentine bugs his eyes and slowly begins to teeter until finally TIIIIIIIMMMM-BEEEEEERRRR!!!! Valentine lands face first on the mat with a resounding thud. Ric Flair, eatcher damn heart out.
Valiant grabs Valentine and drags him out of the ring to save his ass as Bravo has now gotten up and he charges at UC and Dusty, who simply side step Dino and let him crash into the turnbuckles chest first. UC and Dusty give Bravo a double back suplex. UC steps out on the ring apron as Dusty places Bravo up on his shoulders like Animal would do for the Doomsday Device. Suddenly UC springboards off the top rope as Dusty pushes Bravo off and UC snags Bravo's head in mid air and plants him with a Sugar Fix. A very mighty one. UC covers.
1............... 2.............. 3!
Lillian: "Here are your winners, the team of Ultimo Chocula and Dusty Rhodes!"
(The ref raises UC and Dusty's arms in victory as the crowd applauds it's approval. "Poor And Weird" comes on the PA again but UC gets on the mic to put a stop to it.)
UC: "Whoa! Whoa! Cut the music! While that is probably the greatest song in the world, I think we should play a different one! You know the one I mean! Hit it!"
"Ammmmmeeeeeeeeeeeriiiiiicaaaaa-aaaa-aaaan.........................Drrrreeeee-eeeeee-eee-eeeeeeeaaaaaam........."
(Four cowbells later and the song kicks into full gear. Dusty gets over joyed and begins to boogie his over sized polka dotted keister off as UC leaves the ring to let Dusty have his moment in the sun that he didn't book himself into for a change.)
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Square
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Official Ambassador
Grand Poobah of Scavenger Hunts 2011
Square-Because he looks good at all the right angles.
Posts: 18,700
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Post by Square on Dec 16, 2006 19:47:18 GMT -5
* A tall man wearing a overcoat with the Union Jack on it appears in a darkend room along with a red rose*
Man: Im the Red Rose Tony Head born and bred in the beutiful city of Preston and im coming over to America for one thing to bring respect back to the British flag. America Im going to beat you, but you dont know how badly.
*Tony places the red rose in his hand onto the stars and stripes and belts out God Save The Queen*
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iwchater
Samurai Cop
Greatest Album ever
Posts: 2,103
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Post by iwchater on Dec 17, 2006 13:15:27 GMT -5
Teen Sensation appears on TV Screens worldwide TS:I'm Tebb Sebsation, the greatest newcomer n the EWT. They won't book me n fear of the NEW guy stealing the whole f'n show. EWT, I'm Teen Sensation, and if u want good business, better ratings, which r at an alltime low, and want these fans to have a wrestler who they can cheer 4, this is my offer. Come & get me beetches!!
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Maelstrom
AC Slater
The Tide Will Turn!
Posts: 236
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Post by Maelstrom on Dec 17, 2006 22:14:06 GMT -5
Backstage and Sum Guy is with Maelstrom. Maelstrom is pacing back and forth not really in the best of moods
SUM GUY: Hello everyone I'm Sum Guy and I'm with Maelstrom who has to pick a partner in his upcoming tag match against Chance Confidence and Merc. So Maelstrom who have you chosen?
Maelstrom tears the Microphone away from Sum Guy. He look like he is about to explode!
MAELSTROM: Sum Guy! ... I'll tell you when I read that board, I was furious. I am the most dominating EWT Champion in a very long time and those pencil pushers in the back who have only seen the ocean depths in a nature documentary special on TV, have the nerve to tell me to get a special guest tag team partner!
Maelstrom is so angry he punches a hole in the back of the interview display
MAELSTROM: I didn't need any parnter to beat Spaz for this title or Cletus Quinn. Hell when I was laid up with a spinal injury on that riverboat I ddin't get any help there either! ... I can tell you Sum I don't need any tag team partner to beat Chance Garrison and Mr. Slave Mercenary out there ...
Sum Guy stifles a laugh but Maelstrom isn't in the mood and clocks him in the face with the microphone kocking him out. Candy Girl rushes in off camera to attend to her now unconscious boyfriend. Maelstrom ignores this and addresses the camera
MAELSTROM: So Chance & Merc, you want to know who I found as a partner? Not that it matters much ... but here is my tag team partner for our little warm up match ...
The camera zooms out to reveal ... Yokozuna!!
SUM GUY (barely conscious): I thought he was dead?
MAELSTROM: And I thought I knocked you out? Clearly we both were mistaken!
Maelstrom grabs Sum Guy and throws him through the Interview Display
MAELSTROM: Yes that's right, Yokozuna is back one time only as my tag team partner. He's Big, he's a former world champion that everyone hated, and most importantly he is a monster of a man almost as dangerous as me!
Virgil pokes his head into the camera frame
VIRGIL: He's right Merc and Chance, Yokozuna is dangerous!!
Maelstrom grins an evil smug smile, the EWT World Heavyweight Title on his shoulder. Whilst Yokozuna performs some classic sumo poses infront of him with Mr. Fuji leering in the backround.
(fade out)
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Boku AKA Da Green Guy
El Dandy
WC's Resident Pirate Otaku and Official Scapegoat
Always and Forever, Hurricane.
Posts: 8,371
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Post by Boku AKA Da Green Guy on Dec 18, 2006 2:17:15 GMT -5
*camera turns on, Jobby walks into a chair in frame and sits down. The same white paper in the background.*
"Okay, time to make history!"
*figure walks into view, blocking Jobby*
"What's that you're writing, Jobby?"
"A list of tag team names for our team!"
"...Shouldn't we decide that together?"
"Sure! That will make us more of a closer knit team!"
"...Yea.... Why is the camera on?"
"I'm taping this for EWT, they said need filler for the next taping."
*sits down in the empty chair across of Jobby, out of view*
"Ah... Why don't you give me the damage... What's on the list, from the best?"
"Why the best?"
"Because I want to make this quick."
"Okay then, the Wrestle Posse"
"HELL. NO. That's the worst name ever. We'll be the laughing stock of EWT with a name like that."
"Alright....that was my favorite though."
"Well, let's move on."
"The Babyfaces?"
"No. Nothing about you or me says Babyface."
"Those 2 Guys?"
"That's going to REALLY catch on. Next."
"Whatstheirfaces?"
"Genius!"
"Really?!"
"Yeah, you found something that is perhaps worse than 'Wrestle Posse'"
"That's a noooo then, right?"
"Yes."
"YES?!"
"NO! I MEAN DON'T USE IT!"
"Oh... Make up your mind."
"*sigh* Can we just continue this madness."
"Oh-da-kay then, The New Guys?"
"So when we've been around for a year or two, we'll still be the new guys?"
"Ah....I see your point on that one. The hell was I thinking?"
"There's hope for you yet."
"The Dynamite Dudes?"
"And there it went."
"So that's a maybe..."
"Na- Actually, that's better than some of the others you've had... Okay, maybe. But I still hate it."
"Then how about just The Dudes?"
"How original..."
"I know!"
"No."
"Oh."
"The Slam Masters?"
"...Ah no."
"Double Trouble?"
"What are we? Two 80s comic book heroes?"
*Jobby's face lights up*
"...Nevermind, don't answer. No."
"Ah, okay... How abou-"
"Do you actually have anything that is usable?! And for that matter, why I am I even listening to your choices?"
"Remember the coin toss? You got to name our double team moves, and I got the team name."
"...."
"Forgot already?"
"...Why did I ever sign this contract?"
"Because you want please a bigger audience?"
"Are you five or something?"
"Not sure... Is that one of the new slang words you use?"
"...Next name please."
"The Ring Kings?"
"Not bad. I don't think nothing else from you can get any better. At least better than the Wrestle Posse!"
"So you like it!?"
"Sure, send the office the name so they can trademark it."
*gets and walks past camera, again no showing himself to the audience*
"Where are you going?"
"Five minutes with you is enough to tire anyone out."
"Ah....kay..."
"I'll tell you want it means when you're older."
*leaves*
"....Wait... Which one did he say he liked?"
*thinks and stratches head*
"Ah yea, I remember... He said, 'Nothing else can get any better than the Wrestle Posse!' Or something like that... I know he mentioned it a few things though."
*writes it down on the EWT legal form*
"We're going to sell sooo many T-shirts!"
*giddily bouncing up and down while shaking fists*
*camera fades*
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Indigocrates
Unicron
I got bored. Decided to become a philosopher. Just 'cause.
Posts: 2,953
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Post by Indigocrates on Dec 18, 2006 17:22:17 GMT -5
*We see Chris Indigo in the ring, witout the Toolshed Title as Personal Jesus (LP version) by Marylin Manson plays. An object that's covered with a cloth is in the ring hanging from a rope tied to the rafters.*
Chris Indigo: "You may be wondering why i'm here without the Toolshed Title. The Toolshed Title's a run-down looking, piece of shit, much like you people here in attendance."
*The audience starts booing profusely*
Chris: "I believe a title shoudl reflect the man who holds it, and the Toolshed Title doesn't in any way have relation to me. It doesn't posess an aura of greatness about it that makes you look back on your own life and cry, it doesn't carry any respect with it. So you won't be seeing the Toolshed Title you know and love anymore."
*Chris then rips the cloth off the object*
Chris: "Ladies, gentlemen, BEHOLD! The new EWT Toolshed Title!"
*The belt is blue-strapped and has silver plates, insteaed of the traditional gold. In black engraving, it says, 'EWT Toolshed Title'. And under the writing, a small plate in the same type of engraving reads, 'Champion, Chris Indigo'."
Chris: "You're witnessing history tonight. You are seeing for the first time, the future of what title belts will look like. This is the belt I will walk into Seson's Beatings with, and you can bet your unborn children I'll walk out of Season's Beatings with this title, around my waist. That is all."
*Chris Indigo then leaves the ring as we cut to the next segment*
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Post by respectmeordye3 on Dec 18, 2006 20:19:11 GMT -5
EWT has just come back from a commercial break as Singapore Caine is sliding between the ropes and into the ring where Chris Evans already awaits.
the bell rings starting the match.
the two men bound off the ropes and charge full boar into each other and they end up giving each other a super clothesline at the exact same time. Both men fall to the mat and then they jump to their feet and begin to violently trade crumpling punches. Caine delivers a headbutt straight into the face of Evans and Chris--busted open--begins to gush blood like a fountain. He stumbles back but does not fall and in fact he recovers and returns a headbutt of his own to Caine's face which ends up busting Caine open and causing him to gush like a fountain as well.
The men begin to trade punches again and Chris delivers a knee to Caine's ribs and then yanks him down to the mat and drops an elbow on him.
Evans then slides out of the ring and runs up to the stage--reaching underneath it he pulls out a fifty foot steel ladder and manages to drag it to the position just in front of the commentators tables.
He slides back into the ring just in time to receive a chop to the jaw that knocks him flat on his back. Singapore Caine then uses the chance to retreive a fifty foot steel ladder of his own which he places at the foot of the ramp.
dazed,Singapore Caine begins to climb the steel ladder--he does not notice an equally dazed Chris Evans who has slid out of the ring and has begun to mount a ladder of his own.
Both men reach the tops of their ladders at the same time and then jump at the same time as well.......
Both men fly headfirst through the air fifty feet above the ring....WHAMMO!
they collide head to head and fall straight down into the center of the ring and straight through the mat as the crowd crowds "holy crap!" over and over.
The referee begins to count the men down.
1.... 2.... 3.... 4.... 5.... 6.... 7.... 8.... 9.... 10!
The ref signals for the bell and the match is ruled a DQ!
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Post by Ultimo Chocula on Dec 19, 2006 2:18:14 GMT -5
("Poor And Weird" comes over the PA and Ultimo makes his way out from the back. The crowd gives him a nice ovation as he heads down to the ring. UC rolls under the ropes and gestures to the crowd before taking the stick for an impromptu Christmas carol. It's impromptu because I didn't intend to do this when I originally started to write this bit.) UC: "Who's got a big red cherry nose? Santa's got a big red cherry nose! Who's got a laugh that goes "Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa's got a laugh that goes "Ho! Ho! Ho!" Ho! Ho! Ho! Cherry nose! Must be Santa! Must be Santa! Must be Santa! Santa Claus! Who's belly jiggles when he laughs? Santa's belly jiggles when he laughs! Who's so cute he can't wipe his ass? Santa's so cute he can't wipe his ass! Wipes his ass! When he laughs! Ho! Ho! Ho! Cherry nose! Must be Santa! Must be Santa! Must be Santa! Santa Claus! Who looks right up reindeer's butts? Santa looks right up reindeer's butts! Who's a lazy tub of guts? Santa's a lazy tub of guts! Tub of guts! Reindeer's butts! Wipes his ass! When he laughs! Ho! Ho! Ho! Cherry nose! Must be Santa! Must be Santa! Must be Santa! Santa Claus! Who's got nasty gingivitis? Santa's got nasty gingivitis! Who's got nonspecific urethritis? Santa's got nonspecific urethritis! Urethritis! Gingivitis! Tub of guts! Reindeer's butts! Wipes his ass! When he laughs! Ho! Ho! Ho! Cherry nose! Must be Santa! Must be Santa! Must be Santa! Santa Claus! Who's one of those people who never gets nude? Santa's one of those people who never gets nude! Who's one all round righteous dude? Santa's one all round righteous dude! Righteous dude! Never gets nude! Urethritis! Gingivitis! Tub of guts! Reindeer's butts! Wipes his ass! When he laughs! Ho! Ho! Ho! Cherry nose! Must be Santa! Must be Santa! Must be Santa! Santa Claus!" (The song ends and the crowd is a little baffled. UC, nonetheless, is way on the happy side today. Why don't we find out why.) UC: "That's right, ladies and gentle beans! It's X-mas time! The time of year where the spirit of giving is alive and all up in your face with advertisements and forced cheer! And I'm ever in the mood to give! Aren't you? Yessir, I got a big ol' bag of gifts just waiting to be given to all the chillin's! But I saved the best gift for the li'lest bastard of them all! That's right! Curly Fries! I got a present for you that'll make your head spin! Literally! You know what it is? It's my *BEEP!*ing hockey stick, Oglethorpe, slap shotting your ugly mug all the way around your shoulders! Bam! Right in the mush! Merry X-mas, *BEEP!* face! Have some intense pain and about five grand in orthodontic work! How's that for holiday cheer, eh? I'm gonna be giving so much holiday cheer it's going to hurt! Hurt Curly Fries, that is! And that umberhulk too! He's got some yuletide boostafazoo coming to him as well!" (The crowd cheers at the idea of a beaten Curly. UC waits for it to die down before he continues.) UC: "But that's not all! No siree bob! Curly's not the only one who'll be receiving presents! Your pal Ultimo has received a present of his own! You know what I got? I got a partner for this Sunday at Season's Beating when I get in that steel cage and give a red ass beat down to Curly Fries and the umberhulk!" (About time.) UC: "Oh yeah! There was quite a number of potential partners for this match and it was hard to narrow it just one. But in the end I picked somebody who not only can hand out a whoopin' to anybody in the entire EWT, but I got a guy who's got my back one jillion percent! My partner this Sunday is a real doozy all right! And don't you want to know who he is?" (The crowd cheers.) UC: "Allright! So without any further ado, introducing the biggest thing to hit the EWT since the folding chair! Some call him "The Captain" but I call him my new tag team partner! Being led to the ring by his manager PsyTonis Tennille, the one and only......................THE DARYL DRAGON!" (Ok, let me see if I can properly describe what just walked onto the entry ramp. To the tune of "Love Will Keep Us Together" out come UC's new buddies. First is PsyTonis Tennille, a tall skinny woman wearing an atrocious floral dress with a bowl haircut coming out from the top of a Psycosis mask. She exudes un unironic corniness and total optimism through a GIGANTIC TOOTHY GRIN THAT IS NEAR BLINDING! The woman has some big ass teef. Next to her is The Daryl Dragon, a rather dopey chap judging by the weird grin on his face. Of course the only thing you can see on his face is the grin since he's wearing a white Ultimo Dragon mask with a captain hat sewn on the top and a pair of large round sunglasses. His cape flows off the white Dragon style shoulder pads that sit over his navy turtleneck seater, the bell bottom slacks barely conceal his white Dragon style boots which are good for kickin'. They enter the ring and PsyTonis SMILES and waves, happy to be there while The Dragon stands there with that dopey grin.) UC: "Say hey! Now we're cookin'! PsyTonis, good to see you again!" PsyTonis: "Great to see you too, Ultimo! Boy are we going to have some fun this Sunday!" UC: "You got that right, sister! Curly won't know what hit him! Which will be me, with Oglethorpe, upside the *BEEP!*ing skull! That's how hard I'm going to whack him!" PsyTonis: "Well, you couldn't have picked a better partner! The Captian is quite the performer, as you well know! Not only is he a world class athlete but he's the best musician I know! Do you think there will be any musical numbers at the PPV?" UC: "There usually is. More than likely some *BEEP!*y rapping clown band." PsyTonis: "Do they know "Send In The Clowns"? The Dragon and I used to play that one when he was in the Branson Wrestling Theater promotion." UC: "No, not quite. Trust me, it's not your thing." PsyTonis: "Well if they need us all they have to do is ask!" UC: "Uh.................riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. But in any event, The Dragon and I are gonna give Curly Fries and his goon the mother of all beat downs! Ain't that right, Captian?" (UC puts the mic in front of The Dragon and waits for his reply..........) The Dragon: "What sits on top of your head and goes slam slam slam slam?..................A four door hat!" (Canned laughter) UC: "Uhhh................I don't know what that means but if it has anything to do with coming out on top at Season's Beatings then I'm all for it!" PsyTonis: "So are we!" UC: "Curly Fries! Look out! There's a new team here in the EWT and this Sunday we're gonna make example out of your greasy hide! Fifty years from now they're gonna ask you who broke you so bad that you had to scurry away from the EWT with your tail between your legs and you're gonna say...................it was the team of....................................................(wait for it).......................................................................ULTIMO DRAGON!" (UC slams the mic down on the mat as an exclamation point and mounts a turnbuckle to egg on the crowd. The Dragon stands there grinning while PsyTonis SMILES and dances around as their theme song comes on. For those of you not as old as me, here it is... www.youtube.com/watch?v=4XIsc5TilQo
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Post by chanceconfidence on Dec 19, 2006 2:20:21 GMT -5
As we cut away immediately following this Ultimo segment, we see Chance watching the monitor in his locker room, not very... interested.
Chance: So... ol Swirly decided to partner up with the Human Ton. I'm not exactly overwhelmed
he leans back in his chair, resting a hand behind his back, reaching with the other to grab a microphone.
Chance: Oh minion... GET YOUR SORRY CARCASS IN HERE STAT!!!
Merc eventually walks into Chance's room, holding a bunch of items in a pile, with a disgruntled look.
Merc: I washed your robe, I tivo'd all of your shows, and I left rude messages for your good for nothing brother in law.... what do you want now?!
Chance chuckles a bit, not seeming to care of Mercenary's plight.
Chance: Spare me your Hootie Hoo!ing. we've got to prepare for a tag match against Fishboy and some sumo wrestler reject tonight. Now, I'm sure you'd rather drill a hole into that hollow cavity you call a skull, but... well, you've got no choice of course.
Merc mumbles silently to himself, while dropping all these random items on the floor, taking a swig of beer.
Merc: Tell me about it...
Chance: But you see... there's NO bloody way you're going to wrestle in my prescense... like your usual disgusting tub of lard self. Which is why I went ahead and had you some new wrestling tights made!
Merc suddenly perks up a bit, looking at Chance.
Merc: Really... I've actually got wrestling attire? Maybe I misjudged you Confidence.
Chance smirks
Chance: Of course you did peon.
He reaches down, tossing a wrapped Christmas style present to Merc, who eagerly tears it open, reaching inside, pulling out a pair of... bright pink trunk... with Merc's name in fancy bright cursive style purple writing... as well as a few hearts on each part of the rear. Merc takes one look at these trunks, giving Chance a rather cold stare.
Merc: THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I AM WRESTLING IN THESE!!!
Chance looks on, shaking his head quickly.
Chance: No no you boob. The correct answer is... why oh certainly Lord Chance, you benevolent and wonderful human being, thank you for bestowing upon my lousy self... such a fitting gift. I'll definitely be wearing these tonight.
Merc is seething now, practically ready to blow a gasket, but catches and manages to stop himself, instead angrily storming out of the room, as Chance grins, watching in with glee.
Chance: I swear... there's nothing that brightens my day up more... than humiliating that sack of puke.
The camera slowly zooms out, showing Merc standing near the locker room entrance, pounding his fists together and glaring directly at an unknowing Confidence inside... as we fade to commercial.
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The Line
Patti Mayonnaise
Real Name: Bumkiss. Stanley Bumkiss.
Peanut Butter & JAAAAAMMMM!
Posts: 36,698
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Post by The Line on Dec 19, 2006 23:36:40 GMT -5
Journey To Hell pt. III (The following is 100% true and 100% unscripted.)Andy Duke:Come on, I've got a couple more places to show you, hopefully before the sun sets. (Andy and the Camera Man get back into the car, and drive away.)AD: Its kind of a long drive, so turn the camera off for a little bit. (camera cuts to black, and returns to Andy Duke standing in the road in a secluded, forested place).Location: Valley, WashingtonAD: Hey guys. Andy Duke here. Hopefully this segment will be more….uplifting… Just behind me, over this hill is the home of the only woman I have ever loved. Or should I say former home……this whole thing probably sounds very stalker-esque. But any ways, she no longer lives here. She left me, for bigger…and better things. Ashley, if you’re watching this… the year that I got to know you…was the best time of my life. The basketball games, the football games, the lunches…Shelby’s funeral. The Saturday we spent at her grave was maybe one of the saddest, yet most memorable and enjoyable and defining moments of my life. I was never able to tell you how I thought about you. I wish you could know. But now its…its too late. You are by far the best chapter of my life, and by far the saddest. (Duke stares into the horizon, over the hill for 10 or so seconds).AD: Lets go, we’ve got only an hour or so until the sun sets, and I’ve got one last place to go… To Be Continued…
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Post by Tha Kid Joker on Dec 19, 2006 23:54:33 GMT -5
Fade into the arena where Doink is already in the ring. He entertains the crowd, waiting for his opponent, as the screen cuts to a replay of the last match Cassinova had:
The fans begin cheering wildly for something. Cassinova doesn’t have enough time to see what they’re cheering for before Chad Michaels runs in and blasts Cassinova with a Lariat from Heaven to the back of the head! Cassinova goes down as Chad continues the assault, repeatedly punching him viciously in the head. Cassinova tries blocking the punches, but still can't block the flying fists. Cassinova shoves him off and gets back up to a vertical base, but doesn’t catch his focus in time to see Chad hit the Collision Course, knocking him back down! Cassinova is down and out as Chad smiles a bit before sliding out of the ring.
Crauswell gets up, holding his head. He looks over and sees Cassinova on the ground semi-conscious, and shrugs his shoulders. He lifts Cassinova off of the ground easily with by the throat, and hoists him into the air before planting him back down with a ring-shaking Beak Buster! The referee predictably wakes up just in time to groggily make the count.
1…
2…
3!
Chimel: Here is your winner… and STILL EWT Ox Division Champion… Crauswell!
Crauswell is handed his belt and lifts it high in the air. He poses with it for a second, doing a few trademark taunts before climbing out of the ring as “Broken Wings” plays once more. He walks up the ramp and to the locker room solemnly, getting another mixed reaction. As he does this, Chad Michaels gets back into the ring with a microphone. “Broken Wings” fades out as Chad begins to speak…
Chad Michaels: Cass, Cass, Cass. Now who's the one who's on top, eh? You liked to prance around, thinking your s*** don't stink, and look at you now. You lost to a f***ing chicken. And to think that I thought of you as a serious threat. Well, truth be told, I still do. You're good, no doubt about that. But let's face it kid: I'm better than you. So at Season's Beatings, I say we have a special kind of match: Me, you, one on one....in a ladder match. And not just any ladder match. As for what the stipulation is... well, I'll tell you when you wake up... B****!!!
"Petrified (LA Mix)" by Fort Minor hits as Chad walks to the back, leaving Cassinova in the ring.
Cut back to the ring where Doink is still doing his clown antics. He stops and looks at the ramp as Eminem’s “Square Dance” plays through the PA. The crowd begins to boo and Doink just looks on, awaiting his opponent. The mixture of the crowd’s boos and the song playing creates such a loud din, Doink doesn’t even realize that Cassinova has snuck through the crowd and is standing on the apron behind him. Cassinova holds onto the ropes and yells out to Doink.
Cassinova: Hey, Pennywise!
Doink turns around just in time to see Cassinova jump onto the ropes (spinning 180 degrees in the air so that his back faces the ring), springboard off of them, spin another 180 degrees, grab Doink’s head and complete his devastating 720 DDT! Following the “Head Trauma”, he simply pins Doink without much effort.
(The bell rings, officially starting the match.)
1…
2…
3!
(The bell rings, officially ending the match.)
Tony Chimel: Here is you’re winner… Cassinova!
”Square Dance had just now cut off, and now begins to play once more as Cassinova asks for and receives a microphone. He brushes back his hair and smiles at the camera as the crowd boos and his music fades back out.
Cassinova: Well, that was easy enough! Onto slightly more important matters, namely… uh…
He snaps his fingers trying to remember his name.
Cassinova: Oh yeah! Chad Michaels! Anyway, I admit that you one-upped me with that whole interference bit during my title match. I also admit that you have as much wrestling ability as Napoleon Dynamite on crack, but that’s a bit off topic. What I wanted to get through to your head was to explain what you’re getting into.
You’re stepping into a ladder match with one of, in not thee, greatest technician, high-flyer, brawler, etc. etc. of this generation. I just defeated a wrestling legend in three frickin’ seconds! Have you ever defeated a wrestling legend in three seconds? I think not, Chad, I think not. Sadly enough for you, I’ll kick your pathetic gimmick infringing ass all over the arena this Sunday, go onto win the Ox-Division belt from either that dude who wears the Philadelphia Eagles’ mascot uniform or that dude who looks like that guy from that Japanese cartoon, and begin my ascend to the top of the EWT roster. Or at least that’s what Ms. Cleo said would happen.
Chad, you’re my first obstacle in my journey to prove everyone who ever doubted me wrong. You know what I do to obstacles?
He points to Doink.
Cassinova: I f*** them up. Badly. Don’t think I’m too good looking to beat you within an inch of your meaningless life, Chad. I’d give you a fatal head injury and go out for pizza afterwards. Whatever, though. You don’t have much time left. Be prepared to push your limits, because I have none. Have a good time thinking about that.
Cassinova drops the mic on Doink’s chest and rolls out of the ring as “Square Dance” begins to play. He casually walks to the back, whistling his theme music as the next segment starts.
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Spyke the Pacers Fan
El Dandy
Still hates himself for missing the last episode of Murder She Wrote
Go Indiana!
Posts: 8,061
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Post by Spyke the Pacers Fan on Dec 20, 2006 14:24:34 GMT -5
(Spyke is in the locker room, playing Boxing on the Nintendo Wii. Rachael Leigh Cook steps in frame, holding her hands behind her back.)
RLC: "Having fun, yet?"
Spyke: *not taking eyes off game* "I wish I could say I was doing this for fun, but this thing is awesome for getting a good workout in. I'm not much of a brawler, but I feel I'm getting better... I'm almost to Pro status on Boxing!"
RLC: *rolls eyes* "Congratulations..."
Spyke: "I have a match with Crauswell soon, that Toomi ordered, plus that Fatal 4-way is this weekend and I have had almost zero prep time with having to wait 11 hours in line for this thing!"
RLC: "Couldn't you have just, you know, gone to the gym?"
Spyke: "I could have... *turns towards camera and holds up game case* But then I couldn't have played the new EWT vs. EWT 2007 for Wii! Available at all Target, Meijer, Wal-Mart, and Gamestop stores, nationwide!"
RLC: "...do you get paid to do that?"
Spyke: "2% off of total sales."
RLC: "Oh, sweet..."
*short pause*
RLC: "Aaaaaanyway, I have a photo shoot to go to, so I won't be able to come with you to the ring, I just wanted to give you a little something for good luck before your match."
*RLC brings around her hand from behind her to reveal she's holding misletoe. Before Spyke can even react, she holds it above both their heads and kisses Spyke right on the lips! Spyke is stunned! RLC looks at Spyke for a sec, and immediately leaves the room. Spyke simply stands there shocked. The camera follows RLC out into the hallway, where it appears she lets out a sigh of relief. Fade to commercial*
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Post by Rick Raskall on Dec 20, 2006 17:04:02 GMT -5
Sum Guy is in the hallway, pushing the mail cart around.
Sum Guy: I'm Sum Guy and I hope I'm getting paid double for this. Okay then, I've given out mail to Rosa, Spyke, Crauswell...(reaches into mailbag and pulls out a handful of smelly feathers)...ewww. Alright, now we've got...Raskall and Trunk. This should be no problem.
Sum Guy knocks on Raskall and Trunk's locker room door. Marcus Trunk opens the door.
Trunk: WHAT!
Sum Guy: Yiii! Uh...um...mail. Here.
Trunk takes the letter from Sum Guy and slams the door.
Sum Guy: I'm Sum Guy, and that was my only change of pants for the day...
Locker Room
Trunk: Rick! Mail!
Raskall: Geez, another fan letter? God, I'm starting to get carpal tunnel from all these autographs I'm signing. Get that Asian girl with the soothing ointment back here and tell her to take a look at my wrist.
Trunk: No, looks more like a formal letter.
Raskall: Wait, it's not from the IRS, is it? I'm a honest man. I pay my taxes.
...Running a nudie bar in the basement of the EWT Arena counts as tax deductible, doesn't it?
Trunk: No, I think it's...
Raskall: Oh God, it's not Leo Babanucci. Tell me it's not Leo Babanucci. I know I owe the guy money, but I'm just so busy...
Trunk: Look, how about I just open the thing and read it, okay?
Raskall: ...okay fine.
Trunk opens the letter and begins to read.
To EWT Superstars Rick Raskall and Marcus Trunk:
_____You are cordially invited to appear on the Maury Povich Show this week to promote the upcoming Season's Beatings Pay-Per-View event. The tapings will be this weekend in Chicago, Illinois at the address listed in the heading. Please wear sensible attire and be on time.
_____Enclosed are two round-trip Continental Airlines tickets which will take you to O'Hare International Airport. When you arrive, a security cadre will be provided to take you to your hotel, with accommodations provided. The security cadre will escort you from the hotel to the television studio, and you will be provided with catering and and other luxuries during your stay.
_____Thank you for appearing on the Maury Povich Show!
Raskall: Maury? That's it? Everybody else is running the talk show circuit, and we get Maury?
Trunk: Hey, can't argue with free accommodations and catering.
Raskall: Yeah, but Maury?
Trunk: Still, it's better than nothing.
Raskall: Sure. Of course it is. But we're not getting there using conventional methods. Marcus...
...GET TO DA CHOPPAH!!
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Indigocrates
Unicron
I got bored. Decided to become a philosopher. Just 'cause.
Posts: 2,953
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Post by Indigocrates on Dec 20, 2006 19:02:20 GMT -5
*Enter Sandman by Metallica starts up and the crowd pops huge. Sandman is seen in the crowd, chugging and shaking a can of beer. As he makes his way through the crowd, and down to the ring.*
Lillian: “Making his way to the ring, from Sandy, Utah, weighing in at 244 pounds, THE SANDMAN!”
*Personal Jesus (LP version) by Marylin Manson starts up as the lights go blue, the main light focuses on the entrance way, as Chris Indigo appears at the top, Toolshed Title (Chris' customized title) around his waist, the crowd’s cheers quickly turn to boos as Chris Indigo makes his way down to the ring. Chris enters the ring, and the ref calls for the bell.”
DING DING DING
Single for the EWT Toolshed Championship Chris Indigo vs. Sandman
Sandman swings his cane at Chris Indigo, but Chris ducks the cane and elbows Sandman in the kidney. The Sandman drops to one knee in pain, Chris then gets into position, and with an incredibly stiff shot, hits the Vision of Indigo. Chris then covers The Sandman.
1
2
3!
DING DING DING
Lillian: “Here’s your winner, and still EWT Toolshed Champion, CHRIS INDIGO!”
The ref hands Chris his belt and Personal Jesus starts to play over the speakers. Chris victoriously raises the Toolshed Title, but quickly calls for a microphone.
Chris: “Damnit, I can’t wait until Season’s Beatings! Marcus Saxton, *looks at Toolshed Title* this title carries a 24/7 rule. That means I can defend this title whenever I please, so get your ass out here! We’re going to have a title match right now!”
*Marcus Saxton is then seen at the top of the entrance way. He quickly starts to charge down the entrance ramp, but once he reaches the ring, Chris Indigo does a suicide dive to the outside, hoping to take out Marcus. Instead, Marcus catches Chris, and body slams him onto the floor! Marcus then starts hitting Chris with mounted punches. Chris however, catches one of the punches, and throws Marcus off of him. Marcus charges at Chris, but Chris sidesteps him and Marcus hits the ring apron. Chris then starts to hammer on Marcus, but Marcus then elbows Chris in the face, and Marcus comes back with a flurry of punches as both men exchange blows. But as the two are exchanging punches, they hear a loud *STOP!*. Both men look, and Toom E. Dangerously is on the Toomitron.
Toom E.: “I will not have two of the contenders in one of our most talked about matches injured before the damn match happens! So, with the power vested in me, I am hear by ABOLISHING the 24/7 rule that is carried with the Toolshed Title. This match is officially over.*
Security is then seen making their way down the entrance ramp, and they try to calm the situation between Chris and Marcus. Suddenly, Chris and Marcus start attacking the security guards, punching and kneeing them. After taking down the guards, Chris and Marcus charge at each other once more and pick up where they left off with their battle. More security is coming down, along with Toom E., who is now furious with the way these two are acting. As the two continue to brawl. Security attempts to restrain the both of them, but they break free and charge at each other, throwing vicious punches at one another. Security pulls the both of them away from each other again. And the two are struggling to break free and are shouting at each other as we cut to commercial.*
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Post by Koda, Master Crunchyroller on Dec 20, 2006 20:58:54 GMT -5
* "White and Nerdy" by Weird Al begins playing *
Two guys come out to the ring. They slide into the ring, and one grabs a mic.
Koda: Hello! I'm sure all of you know me as Koda Kazar, but I don't think you guys know my buddy here. His name is Job Bher, and we are F.O.G., that stands for Fanboy Otaku Gamers!
Koda hands Job the mic.
Job: H3110 3v3ry0n3! My n4m3 15 J0b Bh3r!
The crowd looks at him, confused. Koda grabs his own mic.
Koda: He said, "Hello everyone! My name is Job Bher!"
Job: \/\/hy did y0u r3p347 \/\/h47 I 54id?
Koda: Because, I think they can't understand you, for some reason....freaking n00bs...
Job: z0mG! 100k 47 411 73h n00b5! 101!!!!!!!!111!!!!one!!!!eleven!!!!!!
Koda: I know.....anyways, who here likes hentai?!
The crowd looks at him ackwardly.
Koda: Hentai is cartoon pornography.
The crowd erupts in cheers now that they understand.
Job: N3\/3r und3r357im473 73h p0\/\/3r 0f pr0n.
Just then, the Godfather's theme music begins to play. The crowd begins cheering wildly. The Godfather slides into the ring and grabs his own mic.
GF: Now, look here. I know every woman deserves to be loved, even cartoon women, but come on. You two need to stop circle jerking each other off to this stuff, and get your freak on with a real woman. Maybe then, you wouldn't be virgins any more. May I suggest using some of my HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS!!!!
Koda and Job look at each other and they both slap the Godfather.
GF: I take that as a challenge! Which of y'all wants to face me, right here, right now?!
Koda and Job both take out a d20(20-sided) die and roll them. Koda rolls a natural 20 and Job rolls a 3. Job leaves the ring, defeated. A ref comes in from backstage and rings the bell.
Koda and Godfather circle each other and go to grapple, but Koda stomps on Godfather's foot and hits him with a mini clothesline. Koda gives Godfather a spinning elbow to the head. Koda then whips Godfather into the ropes and gives him a hip toss, but instead of dropping him on hs back, Koda drops him in a seated position. Koda gives him a hard kick to the back, and then a hard kick to the chest, sending Godfather onto his back. Koda goes for an angled standing moonsault, and connects. Koda goes up top and waits for Godfather. Koda goes flying off the top turnbuckle, and hits the Godfather with a mushroom stomp. Koda sets the Godfather up in the corner and backs off. Koda charges at the Godfather, but the Godfather dodges. Koda goes flying into the corner, and racks himself on a turnbuckle.
Koda stumbles out of the corner and falls back into it. Koda stands up slowly as the Godfather goes for the Ho Train a little too early. Koda ducks the move and the Godfather crashes into the corner. Koda spins the Godfather around and hits him with an Otaku Cutter! Koda goes for a pin.
One...Two...Three!!!
Lillian: Here is your winner, Koda Kazar!
The F.O.G. goes backstage in victory.
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B.A.
Grimlock
Posts: 13,335
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Post by B.A. on Dec 21, 2006 18:05:58 GMT -5
Eddie Omega and Gasoline are standing in the ring. Eddie leans over and talks up to Gasoline talking about their strategy. Eddie: “Now listen here…prophecy reborn think’s theyre gonna steal this thing but we have another thing in mind..you do this..
While Eddie is talking to Gasoline, Lillian talks
Lillian: “ And from New Jersey….Prophecy Reborn!!!! The crowd roars to their feet and begin cheering the team who has to be the odds on favorite. They make their way to the ring and both climb in and go immediately to the turnbuckle to stand and get ovations from the fans. These legends are no strangers to EWT competition and it will take all of Gasoline and Eddie’s effort to finish this match.
*Bell rings*
HMark and Eddie go for a collar elbow tie up, but Eddie being the stronger pushes HMark off with ease, but mistakenly turns his back to pose to the fans. HMark sees this opportunity and dropkicks Eddie in the back to the outside. Gasoline then steps over the ropes and HMark tries to dropkick him but Gasoline brushes it off and toses HMark off to the side. Moxie comes in and begins clubbing Gasoline on the back, but Gasoline takes his palm and swipes Moxie off to the side. The ref is struggling to get between HMark and him, and while this is happening Eddie gets up and gets back into the ring clubbing HMark in the back of his neck. He picks HMark up, irish whips him into the ropes and delivers an elbow sending im down to the canvas. Quick cover..
Ref: 1…2..
HMark kicks out as Eddie drags him over to the turnbuckle to tag in Gasoline who irish whips HMark and delivers a big boot to him. He mocks Moxie which cause him to get in the ring. The ref who is quick on the action steps in front of Moxie and tries to get him to go back while Eddie comes in and begins kicking HMark with swift roundhouse kicks in the stomach. He quickly exits before Gasoline puts an iron claw on HMark. He’s in pain now..as the crowd begins HMark chants..
HMark goes ahead and begins to kick gasoline which loosens his grip but Gasoline then does a clothesline to gain the advantage again. He pats his leg to signal for another boot, but as he irish whips HMark, he ducks the big boot and does a running knee strike which strikes Gasoline dead in the face. Hmark and Gasoline are now down, and Gasoline whose bigger gets to his feet quicker pulls HMark back from tagging and begins to stomp him. HMark who knows what is going on catches Gasoline’s right leg, trips him with the left and stands up while trying to hook him into a Canadian mapleleaf but Eddie interferes which causes Moxie to come in and there is a melee in the ring. Moxie and Eddie are punching each other back and forth, but Eddie knees Moxie in the gut and picks him up for a dominator but Moxie falls over his shoulder, kicks Eddie and runs into the ropes doing a crossbody suplex sending both men over the ropes.
Gasoline is in the ring and he’s up as Moxie gets to the apron first. Eddie is up and Moxie is waiting, when Eddie is up standing on the outside Moxie runs and launches his body onto Eddie’s causing Eddie to go tumbling over the announce table. HMark in the ring is kicking the giant in the back of the leg, trying to get him down but Gasoline catches one of HMark legs, knees him and signals for Gas Bomb as people are cheering for him to end the match. Gasoline picks up HMark and powerbombs him to the mat. But before he goes ahead and pins him, we have some man come through the audience. The ref is paying attention to Gasoline as he taunts the crowd, but the audience notices some man absolutely smash Eddie over the head with a steel chair he got from stealing it from one of the fans. Gasoline goes ahead and goes over to the turnbuckle, but doesn’t notice Moxie sliding back into the ring reviving HMark. Moxie and HMark both grab Gasoline and do a double clothesline to him. They go ahead and signal for the end, while Eddie is busted open on the outside from a mystery man who caused this, they go for the 2 for 1 E.V. combo having Moxie hook in an Indian Deathlock and HMark do his signature Crappler crossface causing the big man to tap out.
Both P.R. members get to their feet as people cheer for such a good match as Never Let Me Down Again" intro and Disposable Teens combo music blares over the sound system. The paramedics come down and help Eddie to his feet as the blood is still pouring, this is what we are left with before the camera fades.
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The Line
Patti Mayonnaise
Real Name: Bumkiss. Stanley Bumkiss.
Peanut Butter & JAAAAAMMMM!
Posts: 36,698
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Post by The Line on Dec 21, 2006 19:41:39 GMT -5
Journey to Hell Pt. IV(of IV) Duke: Lets go, we’ve got only an hour or so until the sun sets, and I’ve got one last place to go… (Duke gets in the driver’s seat, the camera man in the passenger’s seat. They Start to drive.)Duke: This drive is a shorter one, so you can keep the camera on this time. Just over the hill…(says damn under his breath). There is a cycle in life, I believe. Love creates life, and from life, death, and from death, love. Unfortunatley death has become more of a common theme in my life, and to a lesser extent, love. But just like all things golden, love cannot stay, it cannot last. Holy F**k, I am going all kinds of “emo” here… well here we are. (Duke and the camera man exit the car, and enter a cemetery, but this one is not the one in Pt. II)Duke: Valley Cemetery, Valley, Washington. Just under the willow tree over there ( points to a tree behind him), lays the Duke family plot. ( Duke begins to walk over to said plot, followed by the camera) Two members were laid to rest right here. My Great-Grandmother, Grandma Fleener, and….my father. John Stephen Duke passed away on March 3rd, 2005 by his own hand. This was a very tough time for me, not because it was sad, but because of the conflicting feelings that manifested deep inside my teenage soul. You see, my father, was never really there for me and my mom. He is what some would call a deadbeat. Where was he? Was he down at the tavern? Was he on the road as a long-haul trucker? No, he was rotting away in prison for 3rd degree manslaughter. My father was an addict, and when he got too F**ked up to think straight , instead of coming home to his wife and two young children, he went and killed some innocent lady! In a way, I was happy the drunk was dead! But unlike my father, I am addicted on what goes on in the ring, not what goes through my veins! In a small town, something like this is sure to stick with someone, despite how unlike their father they may be. It was his damn fault that I got so many harsh stares and whispers behind my back! Its his fault my family had to move because we couldn’t pay the rent! Its his fault…its his fault that everything got so f**ked up! But Not Anymore! After Seasons Beatings, I will finally step-out of the tainted shadow of my father! But it starts tonight, It starts NOW! (Duke looks at the ground, and goes off-camera for a few seconds. You can hear a car trunk slam. Duke comes back into view, with a sledgehammer in tow)Duke: April 3, 2005. The date important for two reasons. For wrestling fans, it was Wrestlemania 21. For me, it was my fathers funeral. The F**kin’ hole that this drunkard is buried in, guess who started the digging? THE MOTHERF**KER WITH THE SLEDGEHAMMER STANDING RIGHT INFRONT OF YOU! I made this grave, and tonight, I am going to destroy it! (Duke picks up the sledgehammer, and swings it into his father’s headstone. And again. Repeated shots to the headstone, leaving it a pile of stone.)Duke: Johannson, Saxton, Indigo, the only way that I won’t win the title this Sunday, is if I have to be buried right here, next to my dear old man! (Duke smiles, and chuckles, the sun is almost over the mountains). As the sun sets in the west, signaling the end of the day, it also signals the end of your title reign, Indigo! IF IT FLIES, BY GOD DOES IT DIE! (Duke spits on the remains of his father’s headstone, and walks off, the camera pans down, and focuses on the rubble, picking out two pieces, where the words DUKE and December 25th can be read, as if for-telling the future.) Duke ( off-camera): Come on, its been a long day. We’re done. (The camera turns off, concluding the Journey to Hell series).
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Post by chanceconfidence on Dec 22, 2006 3:53:47 GMT -5
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen... the following contest is your MAIIIIIIIIIIIN EVENT and is a tag team match scheduled for one fall.
Sweetest Perfection starts up first as Confidence makes his way out first, sporting a freshly cleaned silver robe, flipping his pony tailed style hair a bit, and reaching for his personal microphone. Surprise... surprise.
Chance: Now then... INTRODUCING FIRST... not to mention the only being that really matters in this little match, he currently hails from the glorious kingdom of Britannia, weighing in tonight at a magnificent 232 pounds even, he is your next EWT World Champion, the splendor that is.. CHANCE CONFIDENCE!!!
the crowd responds, pelting with boos aplenty, as Confidence couldn't care less, soaking in the reaction as he struts down towards the ring, doing his usual entrance, you know it by now right? he stands in the center of the ring, folding his arms and awaiting his tag team partner, not waiting too long as suddenly... Barbie Girl by Aqua starts up on the Toomitron?! The crowd looks around rather confused, until Mercenary steps out onto the ramp way, dressed in those tights Chance gave him earlier, blushing bright red and giving Confidence a very pissed look.
Chance: My undeserving, but forced tag team partner, from Cafe Olay, weighing in at a rather dainty 305 pounds, Little Mr Sunshine himself... Mercenary!
Merc gets a few scattered cheers from the crowd, but most of them just boo Chance more, knowing he obviously had some part in this I guess. Merc enters the ring reluctantly, not even looking at Chance, holding back his temptation to slug him right in the face. Chance stops himself from bursting out laughing, instead removing his robe and tossing it over Merc's head, who angrily throws it outside the ring, as the two wait for their opponents.
First off, some rather Oriental sounding music starts up as their first opponent comes to the ring.
Announcer: Introducing their opponents, first, accompanied by Mr Fuji, from Japan, weighing in at 641 pounds, Yokozuna!
Yokozuna receives mostly the the sound of silent fear from the crowd, as he stomps down the ramp, stopping in front of the ring, striking a classic sumo style position, simply waiting, as soon after, Apocalypse Please bursts out of the Toomitron speakers, the crowd giving a massive booing reaction, as Yokozuna's partner heads out to the ring.
Announcer: And introducing his tag team partner, from the Aquarium, weighing in at 272 pounds, he is the current EWT World Champion, Maelstrom!
Maelstrom stomps down toward the ring, giving both contenders Chance and Merc a cold stare, before he and his partner both step into the ring, Fuji remaining on the outside.
Chance obviously makes Merc start out first as Yokozuna volunteers himself to begin on the other hand. The two stand up to each other, before Merc unleashes a quick series of forearms to the face, to little effect though, as Yokozuna seems unfazed. Merc quickly runs off the ropes, hitting a clothesline, but Yokozuna doesn't move too much. He backs up again, a second clothesline having similar effect. He then backs up a third time, charging and running right into a sidekick from Yoko, sending him down to the mat. Yoko immediately starts stomping a bit at Merc, who quickly rolls out of harms way, getting back to his feet, now back in his ring corner. He thinks quickly, charging once again at Yoko, who tries a second kick, which Merc ducks, immediately aiming a kick at Yoko's other leg, taking him down to the mat! He follows up with a high elbow drop to the heart, going for a quick cover. 1... Yokozuna powers out easily! Merc looks a bit surprised, rising back up, as Yoko follows. He goes on the attack as soon as he's up, locking Yoko in a headlock, applying a bit of pressure, then turning it into a Russian Leg Sweep, taking Yoko back to the mat. He then mounts and begins to nail a series of nasty punches to Yokozuna's face, the sumo champion however eventually throwing Merc off again, who lands back on his feet. Merc paces a bit, waiting for Yoko to sit up, then charging and delivering a deafening kick right to the face! Yoko goes flat once again as Merc tries for another cover. 1....2
Again Yokozuna powers out, Merc rising up and thinking a bit. Yoko meanwhile charges, Mercenary ducking underneath an attempted clothesline, backing Zuna into the ropes and unleashing a flurry of fists again, softening Yoko up further. He whips him off the ropes, bouncing off himself and charging full speed, Maelstrom making a blind tag in as Yoko runs past, as Merc leaps for a huge shoulder tackle, managing to take the big man off his feet! He gets to his feet, looking pumped, but turning right into a vertical suplex from the EWT Champion. Maelstrom quickly follows up, dropping a few forearms across his opponent's face. Chance meanwhile stands on the ring apron, watching in amusement, reaching into his pocket and chewing a piece of gum as he does so to the crowd's disgust. Maelstrom lifts Merc back to his feet, hitting a European Uppercut, staggering him, then lifting him right into a Scoop Slam, before following with a leg drop across the throat. He goes for the cover. 1....2...
But Merc kicks out this time, still showing plenty of determination. Maelstrom yanks him back up, glaring at Chance, as he whips Merc off the ropes, dropping him with a nasty flapjack to the mat. Merc bounces hard off, as he clutches his skull, Maelstrom focusing a few stomps to the area, before tagging in Yokozuna once again. Yoko steps over the ropes, as the two wait for Merc to get up, charging and hitting a double clothesline, Merc getting back up rather swiftly, as they bounce off the ropes, going for a second attempt, but Merc manages to duck this time, grabbing Yokozuna and quickly pulling him across the knee for a backbreaker, switching to a Dragon Sleeper. maelstrom quickly cuts him off though, charging and hitting a side kick to the skull, knocking him loose. He groans, as Yoko turns around, delivering a nasty slap to the chest, followed by another, before he shoves Merc into the turnbuckle. He backs up, looking for a running splash in the corner, but Merc counters with a boot to the skull, knocking him back. he then leaps onto the second turnbuckle, jumping off for a flying clothesline, managing to knock Yoko back quite a bit. he once again assaults him with a series of vicious forearms, backing Yoko up a bit, before grabbing and pulling off a quick swinging neck breaker! he rather quickly springs up, grabbing a rising Yoko and powering him down with a DDT. He gets even more pumped, lifting Zuna up, then assaulting a quick series of jabs, dazing his opponent, running back, only for Chance to tag himself in, springing atop the turnbuckle and leaping off with a spinning wheel kick to the face, taking Yoko down! Merc stops himself just in time to see, glaring at Chance who quickly gets back up, spitting out his gum and swatting it away Perfect style, then lifting up and stomping at the base of one of Yoko's legs, then grabbing the same leg and driving it into the mat, before grabbing it once again, now trying to break it into, with a bit of difficulty. Merc reluctantly exits the ring
Chance smirks, as he gets back to his feet, now draping Yoko's already hurting leg across the nearby ring rope, giving it another swift kick, then using the ropes to propel himself up for a bit time stomp across. Yoko however quickly manages to pull it off before he can do further damage. He then starts rising back to his feet, Chance watching, bouncing off the ropes and going for something, only to get cut off, as Yoko instinctively snaps off a Belly to belly suplex! Chance gasps in pain, Yokozuna getting back to his feet and walking over to tag in Maelstrom. The Champion quickly enters the ring, lifting Confidence by the shoulders, then delivering a quick kick, hoisting him up for the Whirlpool, but Chance quickly fights back with a deliberate rake of the eyes, hopping down and speeding to tag Merc back in. Merc sighs, entering, then charging right at the temporarily blinded Maelstrom, unleashing a flurry of quick punches, until Maelstrom catches one, pulling him right into a Powerslam! Merc hits hard, as the champion gets back to his feet, delivering an Axe Handle smash to the rising Merc, knocking him on all fours. he then sits on his back, delivering a series of clubbing blows to the side of the skull, whilst sitting atop, eventually bringing Mercenary down on his stomach. He gets back up, reaching down, then lifting Merc up off the mat, right into a German Suplex Pin! 1....2...
Merc manages to kick out. Maelstrom doesn't seem to care too much, as he walks over, tagging in Yokozuna once again. Merc meanwhile tries to tag in Chance, but unsurprisingly, he leaps off and away from his partner, instead waving mockingly. Merc gets back up, turning around right a Yokozuna Side kick! He groans, getting knocked to the mat, as Yoko walks over, leaping up and dropping a Hulkbuster Leg drop right across the throat. He once again rises, Yoko whipping him off the ropes, catching him as he comes back with a high back body drop, Merc landing hard on his back. Yoko stomps a bit more over the fallen body, before tagging back out. Maelstrom enters the ring, walking over and stalking Merc overhead, grabbing him as he rises back the neck, lifting him high for a chokeslam! Merc however somehow fights out, wriggling free, then dropping down, taking Maelstrom right into an Inverted Atomic Drop! Maelstrom groans, stunned temporarily, as Merc then takes him down with an STO! He quickly mounts and starts pummeling the champion now, building some more momentum, before getting back off, looking even more pumped. Maelstrom rises once again, Merc quickly snapping off some more quick jabs, then hoisting Maelstrom up high, charging and slamming him hard with a running Oklahoma Slam! He goes for a cover. 1...2....
Maelstrom quickly kicks out, as Merc is back up, running off the ropes, nailing Maelstrom with a clothesline, sending him stumbling back a bit. He backs up again, charging back for a running shoulder tackle, this enough to knock the champion off his feet. He then leaps high, going for a fist drop, but Maelstrom rolls out of the way, Merc instead punching the mat. He winces a bit, clutching the fist, as Maelstrom growls angrily, looming over Merc, swinging, only for Merc to duck underneath, hitting a knee to the gut quickly, knocking Maelstrom back again. He then whips him off the ropes, going for a big boot, which the Champion rolls under, then coming back and delivering a vicious lariat, turning Merc inside out! He looks down, covering. 1....2....
NO! Merc somehow manages to get the shoulder up, Maelstrom looks a bit annoyed, as he gets back up, walking over and tagging Yokozuna back in once again. Yoko walks over, grinning and stomping towards, pulling Merc over towards the turnbuckle, as he looks at Mr. Fuji on the outside, immediately setting up and looking to end this with the Banzai drop! He bounces a bit, coming down hard!
Merc just manages to roll out of the way at the last second! Maelstrom can't believe it! Chance can't believe it! Fuji can't believe it! Not even Yokozuna can. He rises back up once again, lifting up Merc, only to get slammed into the turnbuckle, as Merc gets a second wind, hitting some vicious forearms and fists, backing Yoko into the corner, as he sets him atop. Mr Fuji hops onto the opposite ring apron, carrying a bag of salt, by Merc quickly knocks him off with a quick boot to the skull, the setting up and dropping Yoko with the Pay Off! Maelstrom angrily runs into the ring to stop the cover, but Merc pulls down the bottom rope, ducking and sending Maelstrom out to the outside temporarily. Merc then looks to pin, when suddenly, Chance leaps off and hits the Confidence Booster on Yoko! Merc looks over just in time to see, as Chance makes the cover?! 1.....2....
Maelstrom quickly tries to make the save, but arrives a millisecond too late...3!
Chance and Merc win this tag match going into Season's Beatings.
Announcer: Here are your winners, Chance Confidence and Mercenary!
Chance rolls off Yoko, a satisfied look on his face as he exits the ring, Merc glaring at him, immediately exitting the ring.
Merc: What was that for?! I already had the match won!
Chance doesn't even look back at him, but still responding.
Chance: Shut up servant. You didn't deserve that win... but I certainly did.
Merc wonders how Chance even legally got the win, when as if on cue, it shows a replay, Chance tagging himself in as Merc goes up top for the Pay Off. Confidence soaks in the resulting boos from his "victory' as Maelstrom looks from inside the ring, reaching down and pulling Yokozuna up, then delivering a nasty Whirlpool to his partner, sending a bit of a message to both Chance and Merc, as those two meanwhile, exit to the back.
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