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Post by Toom E. Guci on Jan 18, 2007 7:00:27 GMT -5
*A scroll comes across the screen.*
*The black fades to show a throne with a crown sitting upon it & a Royal Septer next to it as we fade to Toom E Dangerously standing in the ring with these same items next to him.*
Ladies & gentlemen, not since September have we seen a match of this proportion here in EWT. I am pleased to announce that right here on Sunday, Febuary 11th, 2007, EWT will return to pay per view with epic proportions. For you see, we will crown the first ever EWT Royalty with the Royal Pain In the Ass Rumble.
In the past, this battle royal has crowned number 1 contender's to the championship, but this year I have decided why bother making a contender. Afterall, this event will feature more then just the Rumble match for the first time ever. Prior to the Rumble itself, Maelstrom will defend his EWT Heavyweight Championship against the Number 1 Contender, Eddie Omega.
But folks, that is not all. I have spoken with psychoapeguy to grant him his wish & come Febuary 11th, psychoapeguy will make his in-ring return in singles competition against Dorf in the first ever Paraplegic Death Match. And I assure you folks, this won't be pretty.
And last but not leat, the actual Rumble will headline this outstanding showcase. And as usual, it will be open to ANYBODY!!! So those of you in the back who feel you have what it takes to be EWT's Royalty, feel free to hit the sign up sheet in my office.
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Ratings
Dennis Stamp
Has a box of scraps
"YAY!"
Posts: 4,236
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Post by Ratings on Jan 18, 2007 7:55:49 GMT -5
Toom E. Dangerously is shown walking backstage, passing various stage workers and road agents along the way. He continues until he comes across a closed door with "EWT COMMISSIONER: TOOM E. DANGEROUSLY" labeled on it. He casually opens the door and as he enters, much to his surprise, someone is already present inside.
Toom E: "What are you doing in here?"
The camera turns from Toom's confused face and pans over to Ratings, currently sitting in the leather chair behind the commissioner's desk.
Ratings: "Toom E. Dangerously. I hope you don't mind, but I decided to let myself in."
After glaring at the "Palm Springs Playboy" for a few seconds, Toom snickers and approaches the wrestler.
Toom E: "Well, I'm sure you have your reasons."
Ratings rises from the chair and picks up a clipboard from the desk, a ballpoint pen attached to it by a small chain.
Ratings: "I wouldn't have come here if I didn't. I happened to catch your announcement about the rumble to crown the first ever EWT Royalty; a title that is befitting to a man of my status, background and accomplishments, wouldn't you agree?"
Toom E: "I suppose so. So I take it that you are interested in signing up for the rumble."
Ratings: "Indeed I am... and indeed I shall."
Ratings takes the pen and signs his name upon the sheet. Afterwards, he hands it to Toom E.
Toom E: "Thank you and best of luck."
Ratings: "Thank you to Toom E; for creating such an idea and for your support. Oh, and I hope that Bret's departure hasn't jeporadized our alliance?"
Toom E flashes a sinister grin and the two shake hands.
Toom E: "Not at all. And if things go well, I see a bright future ahead of you, young man."
Ratings chuckles and bears a twisted smile.
Ratings: "And as my future looks bright, the future of those who stand before me will dim into complete darkness."
After they part from the hand shake, Ratings exits the office, leaving Toom E. grinning pleasantly.
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Curly Long
AC Slater
Midget Wrestling Master
Posts: 234
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Post by Curly Long on Jan 18, 2007 9:18:54 GMT -5
Backstage and Curly Long and Mr. Big are with us, they take a look at the notice on Toomi's door and both sign up for the Royal Rumble
CURLY: You know Big this could be the latest stepping stone in my career, now we are winners and all.
BIG: ... Wait didn't we lose to Ultimo at Season's Beatings?
Curly looks up at Big like some sort of half-pint wise man from a 1970s kung-fu movie and shakes his head.
CURLY: It was a speciality match Big, no one counts them in win-loss records ... Do you think Mike Tyson counts his 'First to eat the other man's ear lobe' boxing match as a loss ...
BIG: Well ...
CURLY: Didn't he win that if I remember ... beat some chump called Vader Holeyield or soemthing ...
Big just shakes his head in disbelief as his diminutive fast talking friend continues his delusions of grandeur. They walk off out of the cameras view.
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Maelstrom
AC Slater
The Tide Will Turn!
Posts: 236
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Post by Maelstrom on Jan 18, 2007 9:23:52 GMT -5
We go to outside the Aquarium doors. Big wooden double doors. The camera zooms back to reveal a trashcan next to the doors, inside the trashcan and upsidedown with his legs sticking out is Duke "The Dumpster" Droese. A referee walks into view
REFEREE: The winner of the match and still EWT Heavyweight champion ... Maelstrom!!
The Doors to the aquarium rattle omniously as blue smokes gathers and then blocks our view of them
(Cut to commercial)
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Jan 18, 2007 11:26:47 GMT -5
*We look back inside Toom E's office, as he looks over contracts for the PITA Rumble PPV that still need signing. Just then, the door can be heard being kicked in, and Toom E looks up. Sure enough, it's EWT Tri-State Champion, Mike Ragnal.*
TOOM: Well, well, well. Look who's finally back after getting his eyes raked in.*
MIKE: Do me a favor and cut the crap, Toom! You know very damn well what I'm here for!
TOOM: Of course, of course. I figured you'd want in on the Rumble some time-
MIKE: Not that! I'm here to-wait. The Rumble's coming around again? Huh, who woulda guessed. But anyway, my problem is with Oceanic!
TOOM: Don't get me started on her, Ragnal! That woman turned her back on the GND Division, and look what happened to it!
MIKE: She saw that, obviously. But my problem is this-The match was won via DQ! For RAKING MY EYES!
TOOM: So what do you want me to do about it?!
MIKE: Tell her I want revenge for what she did to me. But this time...this time I want the match my way.
TOOM: Fine by me! Just give me a time and day and we'll see what we can do.
MIKE: Fine!
*Mike takes the sign-up sheet and writes his name down. He slams it into Toom E's desk and marches off.*
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Post by Rick Raskall on Jan 18, 2007 13:53:20 GMT -5
Rick Raskall and Marcus Trunk enter Toom E. Dangerously's office.
Raskall: Knock knock! Hey, it's my man, Toomi!
Toomi: Good day, gentlemen. I presume you've come to complain about not getting a title shot this week.
Raskall: Oh no, we're not concerned with that right now. Although those titles should be ours right now, no thanks to Curly Long, as soon as we heard about the return of the Royal Pain in the Ass Rumble, and what you're giving to the winner, we've decided to put our golden dreams behind us for the time being. I mean, I'm already EWT's original Hollywood playboy, but the sound of "Hollywood Playboy and King of EWT" is just too good to pass up. And Marcus Trunk, he's tough as steel. He's a future World Heavyweight Champion. And winning this thing would be another step towards that goal. So whether it's Rick Raskall or Marcus Trunk standing tall as the last man remaining in the ring, it'll be beers and babes all round!
Toomi: So, to cut your story short, you two wish to enter the Rumble match?
Trunk: Pen.
Toomi hands a pen to Trunk, who signs his name. He passes the pen to Raskall, but before he can sign, there are voices in the hallway.
Daryl Dragon: Okay, I bet you haven't heard this one before. What does Steve Blackman like to wear on his head?
Ultimo Chocula: (totally disinterested) I couldn't venture to guess. What?
Daryl Dragon: It's Party Hat! Ha ha ha ha!
Ultimo Chocula: Wow, my sides are literally splitting in half. I don't know if...Oh, what is this?!
Ultimo and Dragon have entered the office to see Raskall and Trunk at Toomi's desk.
Raskall: Great, it's you again. What are you gonna do this time? Break my arm so I can't sign up for the Rumble?
Ultimo: Oh, like that was my fault. I was helping you! Don't blame me if you don't know who you're swinging at.
Raskall: My face was covered in blood! From the match! That we were in! That you cost us! Are-you-get-ting-this?!
Ultimo: I-am-not-a-ret-ard! You-do-not-have-to-talk-to-me-like-that!
Raskall: Well, you sure weren't listening when I told you to get the hell out of the ring.
Ultimo: Once again, I was going after Curly and Team Ireland! You swung at me! What was I supposed to do?
Raskall: Like I just said, GET OUT OF THE RING!
Toomi: GENTLEMEN, PLEASE!!
The office goes silent.
Toomi: I presume you two have come to sign up for the Rumble.
Ultimo: (pouty) Yeeeessss...
Toomi: Very well, then. Ultimo Chocula, sign your name.
Ultimo signs.
Toomi: Daryl Dragon, sign your name.
Daryl Dragon signs.
Toomi: Rick Raskall, I believe you have yet to sign.
Rick Raskall signs. Then he begins to scratch out Ultimo's name, but Toomi grabs him by the wrist.
Toomi: No more of these childish games. Save your aggression for the Rumble. You're going to need it.
Raskall: Fine, now that that's done. Let's go, Trunk.
Raskall and Trunk go to the door, but Ultimo and Dragon are standing in the way. Trunk points them away with his thumb.
Ultimo: Fine then, geez.
Raskall and Trunk exit.
Ultimo: Ladies first.
Trunk turns around, glares, and points a finger at him.
Ultimo: Man, that guy has no sense of humor.
Daryl Dragon: Hey, that reminds me. What do you get when you cross a hat with a...
End scene
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Post by pta on Jan 18, 2007 13:59:33 GMT -5
Principal Pain and Tutor Tyreese are seen walking up to the shis sign up sheet in Toomi's office, as Pain smiles, folding his arms, Tyreese looking over the sheet with a rather interested look on his face.
Tyreese: Hmmm... de Royal Pain in de Ass Rumble eh? I've hearda dis... I'd think it'd be a fun experiment, to see how long I'd last against some of these unintelligent snots Toomicalls wrestlers, showing them the true meaning of da word tehnical expertise.
Pain: Hmmm, yes, I was in it before... though I did quite horribly. But then, well... I'd be happy to support you at ring side my friend. Together, I'd think we could easily help you become EWT Royalty... as the term is. It'd be just another step, towards once again proving myself in this miserable federation.
Pain draws a pen from his front pocket, handing it to Tyreese who quickly signs his name, writing very quickly, then returning the pen and looking on at the other names already on the list.
Tyreese: Hmmmmph, sometin tells me I'm not gonna have many problems wit any of dese fools.
He smirks, as he and Pain then turn around, exitting the area.
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Post by Marksus on Jan 18, 2007 14:40:15 GMT -5
Benz- C'mon Mutie lets sign up, judging by these two 'competitors' we should win easily Mutilated grabs Benz firmly by the shoulders and takes his can of Pepsi from him and tosses it in he trash. Mutilated- Calm down Benz, Principal Pain and Tutor Tyrese are not to be laughed at. Mocked derided and ridiculed but not laughed at. You do realise that there can only be one winner. Benz pats Mutilated on the shoulder. Benz- Don't worry big man, i won't forget about all your help you can be my knight.
They both sign up.
Benz- Lets go find us a couple of chicks and p-a-r-t-y.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jan 18, 2007 15:31:05 GMT -5
*From Toom E.'s office, the sounds of two male voices and those of a female are heard as the noise becomes louder and louder. The door opens, and TJT steps in, dressed in all their gear.*
Thunder: I am SO glad that we got contacted about this, instead of being left in the back!
Terina: And that you two have finally been given a big match to prove your talent in!
Thunder: That too, babe. Now Jason, how'll we be doing this match? I mean, I guess we can talk about it; not like people like us will end up getting eliminated anyway.
Jupiter: True that, Jim. These losers who call themselves "wrestlers" will learn first-hand exactly what guys like us two can do!
*Jupiter signs the contract and gives the pen to Thunder, who then signs it as well. Toom E. is sitting in his chair, looking up and the pair of cocky youngsters.*
Thunder: Oh, I suppose you'll be needing your pen back!
*Leans over desk and drops pen in Toom E.'s coat pocket.*
Thunder: There, I see you might be needing for me to put that in there for ya--
Jupiter: Yeah, seriously. Give him all the help with stuff like that you can, Jimmy--I mean, sitting on your ass all day must be a tough job, Toom.
*All three of them start laughing at him.*
Toom E: That's it, you've had your fun, now get out of here!
Terina: Don't worry, we'll be gone, but you can bet we'll be back when one of my two boys clear that ring of every man.
Thunder: Say, what do we do if Jupiter and me are the two left at the end?
Jupiter: Seriously, I'm not just jumping out for ya! Wait--how 'bout we have a game of Rock Paper Scissors, loser leaves at the end?
*All three look sort of suprised at what Jason just said, even Jason himself, and they all look at one another.*
TJT, all at once: Naaaaaah, that's what normal people do!
*The trio begins to make their exit.*
Thunder: Alright, so how about twenty questions?
Jupiter: Street race with our sports cars?
Thunder: You know it!
*TJT leaves and shuts the door as their voices trail off in the distance. Toom E begins shaking his head, in disbelief of their behavior. Camera fades away.*
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Post by Oceanic on Jan 18, 2007 15:57:10 GMT -5
(As TJT leave Toomi's office Oceanic walks in. Toomi looks up and rolls his eyes.)
Toomi: "Oh goodie. You."
Oceanic: "You can probably guess why I'm here."
Toomi: "Probably, but first I have a question for you. Why, I ask, did you ask for a Tri State Title Match against Mike Ragnal only to get yourself DQ'ed for spitting blue mist in his eyes? Isn't that a little counter productive to your plan to become the first ever female Tri State champ?"
Oceanic: "Don't worry about it, chief. I got it under control."
Toomi: "Yeah, it really looks like it. I'll have you know that no more than a half hour ago Mike Ragnal came in here and he was pretty pissed off. He's looking to pay you back damn near blinding him."
Oceanic: (laughs to herself) "Good. I can't wait for his rebuttal."
Toomi: "That's all well and good but I want you to know something. When the novelty of this whole man vs woman thing...."
Oceanic: (raises eyebrows) "Novelty?"
Toomi: (nods) "Novelty. Like I said, when the novelty of this whole thing wears off there won't be a GND division for you to fall back on. As you know I went ahead and killed that whole division off."
Oceanic: "Fine with me."
Toomi: "Really? You don't care? After all of that fuss you made about the GND division being taken seriously and all the work you put into it you're just going to let it go, just like that?"
Oceanic: "Why not? I set out to make the GND serious business. I did that, now I'm moving on to bigger things. It's not my fault the leftovers couldn't live up to my example. If they can't get the job done then let it die. No skin off my nose."
Toomi: "Ok, sis. You're funeral. But just know this. The instant this whole Ragnal thing doesn't draw a single dime you won't have a whole lot of options. I'll either have you do backstage interviews, pose in a bikini to shill DVD's, valet somebody who can draw, or I'll just give you your outright release."
Oceanic: "It's not going to come to that, and you know that. You're just afraid of a woman being a champion in a man's fed. I can understand that. Change is frightening. Now if you don't mind there's a Rumble I'd like to sign up for."
(Toomi shakes his head an presents the sign up sheet. He stares at Oceanic with an indignant look as she looks down the list of names.)
Oceanic: "Let's see...........loser............loser............loser..............he's ok.........living joke...........loser............loser........."
Toomi: "You don't think you can really win, do you?"
(Oceanic glares at Toomi, signs her name to the sheet and flings it on his desk. She exits the room as Toomi looks on with a sour look on his face.)
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Ass Dan
King Koopa
Curious about extra lines
Have you seen me?
Posts: 12,259
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Post by Ass Dan on Jan 18, 2007 17:50:11 GMT -5
Joe One walks by the sign-in sheet.
One: Perhaps NOW they will know the nature of the Ministry of Peace.
Joe pricks his index finger and signs in to the RPitAR in his blood. He then looks at his opponent.
One: This will be interesting.
He walks off.
*COMMERCIAL BREAK, FOR SOME CRAZY REASON*
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Post by xombiehiphop on Jan 18, 2007 18:11:07 GMT -5
-As Toom E. watches Oceanic make her exit, he turns back into his room and spots all three members of The Draugr crowded around his desk. Their sudden appearance causes him to nearly jump out of his skin-
Toom E: H-How in the hell did you get in here?!
Ghost Face: ..Woman problems? ..There's a movie you should see to deal with that. Jason X. Horrible movie but it has some GREAT kills in it. ..See..there's this scene where Jason shoves this chicks face into a vat of liquid nitrogen. So it freezes her face solid while she's in the middle of screaming. ..And then do you know what he does? ..He smashes it into a thousand bloody pieces. ..I think that would work real well..
-Ghost Face stares off into space with a strange grin while Corpse and Wraith nod in approval..-
Toom E: ..I'll..keep that in mind. I'll assume you three are going to sign up?
Corpse: ..That's right. ..It's going to be a blood bath. ..Just like that scene in the A Nightmare On Elm Street when Freddy sucks Johnny Depp into his bed and FOUNTAIN of blood comes out..
-Corpse licks his lips..-
Wraith: U..Urk..
Toom E: ..W..What is wrong with him?
-Wraith has an ill look on his face before wrapping his arms around his stomach and vomiting out some kind of strange green liquid that completely covers Toom E's desk. The boss looks less than pleased..-
Ghost Face and Corpse: ..The Exorcist..
Toom E: ..GET..THE HELL..OUT..
-Wraith wipes arm off on the sleeve of his trench coat and extends a hand for to Toom E. to shake-
Toom E: ..Guh! NO! Out! NOW!
-The Draugr make their leave as Toom E. stares at his dripping desk, shaking his head in disbelief..-
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Jan 19, 2007 1:44:42 GMT -5
*Spaz wanders down to Toomi's office & signs up.*
S: Another thing to add to my list of accomplishments here in EWT. RPITA Rumble winner.
*Spaz then heads up the corridor towards the locker room.*
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Post by The Player Haters on Jan 19, 2007 7:56:23 GMT -5
A frustrated Toom E. Dangerously is shown frantically trying to clean his desk of the green liquid from Draugr earlier.
Toom: "Damn it! This thing is custom made! It cost me thousands!"
With a heavy sigh, Toom E. falls back into his chair, closing his eyes as he rubs his temples
Toom: "This is getting out of hand. I got Ragnal making demands, Ultimo and his masked freak friends stirring things up with Raskhall and Trunk, Oceanic playing Battle of the Sexes and three punks sneaking up and disgorging on my desk. How can things get any worse... ?"
Voice: "GOOD LORD!!! This room smells like Lindsay Lohan after a night on the town!"
The voice gives Toomi quite the shock as he quickly looks up and towards the direction of the voice. Three men stand before him. The man on the left is African American, about 6'7" and 320 pounds of pure muscle; wearing a leather snakeskin suit and black fedora hat. The Caucasian male on the far right stands 5'10" and somewhere between 190-to-200 pounds; donning a white suit with matching fedora and black tinted sunglasses. Finally, the man standing in the middle looks about 6'2", 240 pounds; wearing a Avenger style hat, pin-stripe black suit, white fur coat, plenty of bling jewelry (most notably the necklace bearing the symbol "H8" he proudly wears around his neck), and to top it all off--a platinum handle cane.
Toom E: "What the hell are you guys doing here!?"
The African American man in the middle raises his arms in the air and begins to speak for himself and the two who accompany him.
Middle Man: "You must the chief of this organization, Toom E. Dangerously if I'm not mistaken. If you don't know by now, we are the Player Haters. My name is Glitz Donovan, born and raised to hate. The man on my left who is as hateful as I am is the "Chocolate Colossus" Dymondback; and "Mr. Pale & Posin'" over here is Albino Tyrone.
Both DB and AT tip their hats down, acknowledging Toom E. However, the boss clearly isn't in the mood for introductions.
Toom: "Who the hell do you three think you are!? You come strutting in to my office UNINVITED!!! I don't what circus you clowns came from, but you better--"
DB: "Nah, y'see--you better calm down before I shove that leather chair up yo ass!"
His face burning red with anger, Toom glares at the trio.
Toom: "Haven't you three ever heard of respect your superiors?"
AT: "Haven't you ever heard of "Just for Men"? (starts to sign) "Look so natural, no one can tell. Just for Men gel!"
Toom: "W-What are you implying!?"
GD: "Easy now, Tyrone. Toom E. Salt-N-Peppa hair is right. Forgive us, commissioner, we are just haters by nature. It's nothing personal, it's just hatin'."
Toom: (exhales) "What do you three want?"
GD: "Word's out that you are holding some sort of event of epic proportions. The Royal Pain in the Ass Rumble, I believe it is titled; where the winner will be crowned EWT Royalty. Well, if there is anyone who knows more about royalty--it is the king of haters. With that said, I have brought my associates--Dymondback and Albino Tyrone--to add their names to that ever growing list.
Toom: "Whatever gets you the hell out of my office, fine! Just sign and go!"
DB and AT both sign their names to the list.
Toom: "But don't think you three are off the hook. Expect to see your names on the match board next week. And you better pray that my mood is better than it is now."
GD: "The only ones who sould be praying, Mr. Dangerously, is the mark-ass punk b****s you put in the ring against us. For not only will they get their asses handed to them on a silver platter, but they will be the first to experience the wrath of the haters. Remember these words, "Don't love... Don't hate..."
All three lean in and get right into Toomi's face.
PHs: "PLAYA HATE!"
The trio exit the room while Toom E. Dangerously glares at them before they close the door behind them. Afterwards, Toom E approaches the mirror on his office wall and inspects for any possible gray hairs.
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Post by Banned Member on Jan 19, 2007 12:33:22 GMT -5
*Merc walks in Tooms office, and Toom looks at him with anger in his eyes.*
Merc: Look I hate you, and you hate me, but we all know why I'm here. Now give me that damn sign up sheet!
*Toom hands over the sheet, and Merc signs it, and exits the office.*
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,390
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Jan 19, 2007 14:38:18 GMT -5
Rated X are walking around in the back when they spot the sign up sheet.
Chad: Should we?
Mike: Eh, why not. I think I'd look good being crowned royalty.
Chad signs the sheet before tossing it to Mike, who signs it as well.
Chad: So what do you think of Minipax and what they called us?
Mike: Minipax - Remind me of RTC. As for what they called us- What the hell are poles or proles or whatever they called us?
Chad: I think that's their word for jackasses. Anyway, come on, let's get ready for this thing.
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Post by crauswell on Jan 20, 2007 5:13:50 GMT -5
Crauswell is seen exiting Toomi's very office, clutching the Ox Division title close as he steps out, just in time to be interviewed by Sum Guy. Whoopee!
Sum: I'm Sum Guy and I bet Crauswell just signed up for the PITAR! So Crauswell... did you sign up for the PITAR?
Crauswell looks at him briefly, walking up and glaring at his face, his beak pressed against Sum's nose.
Crauswell: So what if I am? You have a problem with me competing in it? You have the same problem with me holding this title don't you... you don't think I deserve the thing. YOU DON'T THINK I DESERVE TO WIN THE PITAR! Well you're damn wrong, because I deserve to be treated with just as much respect as any other Ox Division Champion. In fact, I should be treated even better.
Sum nods, not really caring... like with the most stuff.
Sum: Oh, okay then. Why do you think that sir?
The furry says nothing.
Sum: Oh right... why do you think that Crauswell?
Crauswell: Look at this belt. I won it by destroying that piece of scum who somehow held the belt, may his soul rest in peace of course. But I said I would go out and win the title... liberating it from his unworthy hands and placing them into my own wonderful paws. I did just that didn't I? This week, I have to finally face that unworthy and pesky Spyke Johanson... and I fully intend to END him this very week. I intend to snap his puny neck, break every bone possible in his frame, then toss him off that scaffold right through a wooden table. You see Johanson, I've quickly tired of you and so... I'm agreeing to this match. But mark my words... IT'S THE ONLY ONE YOU'LL BE GETTING! You lose... that's it, no more. I'm through with your ass and you'll just have to live with it. And if you somehow manage to win, then fine... I guess I'll leave you alone, with my belt.... my wonderful, golden trophy.
He lets out a soft... purring like sound as he gently strokes over the title's strap, as Sum Guy wisely takes a step back.
Sum: Wow... I've never seen a champion who.... loved their belt so much.
Crauswell: WHY NOT?! Why can't a man like myself... AND I'M AWARE I DON'T LOOK LIKE ONE... why can't he love his belt like a mother would her cub, like a father would love his son, like I love this title?
Sum: Ewww... for some reason I get the image that you're gonna take that belt into your locker room and... well, I don't wanna say.
The furry quickly glances back at Sum.
Crauswell: Really? Well tell me... what image does this put in that cramped little mind of yours?
He immediately swings a fist, clocking Sum in the face... down he goes. The furry immediately turns back to the camera.
Crauswell: THIS IS MY TITLE... AND I CAN DO WITH IT AS I PLEASE!!!
He storms off rather angrily, as Sum Guy lays on the ground, clutching his nose.
Sum: I'd Sub Guy an now I soud fuddy.
Fade to next segment.
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Post by Banned Member on Jan 20, 2007 12:51:19 GMT -5
*Merc walks out to the ring wearing one of his blurred out titles with the other slung over his shoulder. Merc looks confused at the pop the fans give him as he enters the ring, and grabs the mic.*
Merc: The Royal Pain In the Ass rumble. Well I must say what a better named event. Toom must have been thinking of me when he named this event. Well I come that day I will show you all once again that The Mercenary is back in the best shape of his life, and I am going to kick ass, and take names later!!!!
*The crowd pops*
Merc: Now on the subject of the wrestlers in this rumble. Lets see we got Ratings. Your joking me right? This guy comes here seeking the EWT title, and he still hasn't won it yet. Please if anyone deserves the name Ratings here its me, but than again I don't want to sound like some cheesy wrestler from the eighties. Then once again we got Mr.Big, and his little buddy Curly. It's a midget, and a big hoss. I really don't think I have to say more.
*The crowd is still cheering, and Merc waits for them to settle down.*
Merc: Now there is Mike Ragnal. The biggest piece of trash I've ever seen in the EWT. For the love of god man when are you going to be a man, and stop beating up women, and that does bring me to another point. Mike you better keep that title warm for me. Because when you least expect it I will take from you!
*Crowd gives a mixed reaction to Mercs last few words.*
Merc: Now lets talk about all these tag teams entering the Rumble. Don't you guys realize that tag teams in a rumble never work out. Sure you start off as buds, but then your kicking each others ass, and then your breaking up over it. Is it really worth it guys? Answer yourself that question. Now theres the matter of Oceanic. She needs to just go back to the kitchen, and cater our meals! Then there is Joe One. How the hell is that guy is still employed is beyond me. Maybe special favors from Toom?
*The fans laugh, and Merc once again waits for them to settle down.*
Merc: Then there is we wish you well in future endovers The Draugr . Ya You can see I'm not fazed by these Johnny come laters. And as if Spazz needs something else to inflate his ego. Now as for the Player Haters I enjoyed that act the first time when I saw it several months ago on another program. You may of heard of Cryme Time.
*The fans ooh at this, and Merc chuckles.*
Merc: Now then there is Crauswell that man I heard is doing the Ox title. Every night, and man it smells like week old sex! So that pretty much covers every loser in the Rumble. The Rumble that will be the new rising of Merc!!
*The fans cheer.*
Merc: And as for the ones that have chosen to leave I say good riddance. Yes I know I thought about leaving, but I love this place to much to just tuck my tail in between my legs, and run away! So yes these guys are cowards, and should not be as loved as they are, but they are, and thats ok because with them leaving my stats rise!
*Fans pop*
Merc: Now as for Merc vs AquaMan for the EWT Heavyweight championship. Well folks don't bother tuning in to see a Merc title win because that just won't happen. Hell everyone on this planet knows either it will be a dq finish or a dirty pin, but fans do turn in to watch me beat the f*** out of Flipper!!!!
*Merc throws down the mic, and we fade to black*
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Post by Marksus on Jan 20, 2007 14:53:17 GMT -5
*Scene opens with Benz walking down a corridor backstage, he passes a group of women* Benz: Hey Ladies want to party later? *He holds his hand up in the phone shape* Benz: Call me! you know the digits! Blonde Woman: Who was that? Brunette woman: I think it was that K.F.C. Guy Colonel something? *Benz arrives at Mutilated’s locker room, he straightens his eyebrows adjusts his hat and dusts off his shoulder before entering the room* Benz: Yo Mutie baby wasssup *Mutilated throws down his barbell and grabs a towel to wipe the sweat from his bald head* Mutilated: Firstly Benz if you ‘Mutie baby’ again I will use my barbell to turn you into a Tootsie Pop and secondly don’t you ever knock? Benz: No time to knock Big guy, I just came to tell you about our matches next week. Our agent called and said I have to wrestle some nerd called Koda Kasar, I hear he lives in his mom’s basement and whacks off to cartoon porn,when I’m finished with him his Leet speaking boyfriend won’t even recognise him; and you are fighting the School teacher from hell Tutor Tyreese, he… *Mutilated puts his hand over Benz mouth.* Mutilated: Shut Up! Did you just say OUR agent! *The Tattoo’ed Terror allows Benz to speak* Benz: Yes he’s called Champagne Dwanye Dealins, he… *Mutilated covers Benz’s mouth again* Mutilated: I saw the match board and I know about Tyreese, I’ll enjoy kicking his ass and his buddy Pain too if he sticks his over educated nose in; and it didn’t cost me 10% of my income. Now tell me why the hell do we need an agent? *Benz is freed to talk* Benz: All the top stars have agents M and when the album comes out I’ll need help to sort my bookings, cough25%cough *Mutilated grabs the Popstar wannabe by his designer collar and drags him to the door* Mutilated: I drink hard, party harder and fight even harder than that, I do not record albums or need a stinkin’ agent now get out you pain in the ass. *Mutilated tosses Benz into the hall* Benz: B-b-but Mutie ba-ig guy I haven’t even shown you our t-shirt designs or action figures. *Mutilated slams the door, leaving Benz in a heap on the floor* Benz: But I’m Benz *his voice trails off* I’m your friend. *Loud again* Hi ladies did I tell you how much my suit cost *Benz jumps up straightens his attire and struts over to the rapidly exiting ladies.*
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Post by Rick Raskall on Jan 20, 2007 15:36:35 GMT -5
Rick Raskall and Marcus Trunk are in the hallway. Raskall looks down the hall and sees an unpleasant sight.
Raskall: *disgusted* Oh God! Not now. Why him...
Dusty Rhodes: Hey dere, Rathcall an' Trunk! It's time to do that thing dat I do! Dis here's the AmmmmmmmericanDreamDuthtayRhodeth!! An' dis here be dat big ol' tag team, Rathcall an' Trunk! Dey done sign up fo' da Royal Pain in the Ass Rumble! But dey done crack whip wit' Ul-Tee-Mo and da Daryl Dragon! Dey almost started wit' da clubberin' in Toomi's office! Dey don't like Curly Long, da Midget Keeng, but dey don't like each other, neither! What you boys gonna do 'bout Ul-Tee-Mo and da Daryl Dragon?
Raskall: First off, what the hell did you just say? Not only are you a blabbering idiot, but now I'm covered in spittle and...and...are these sprinkles?
Dusty: Dey's chocolate thprinkles, daddy! Da Dream loves him dem chocolate cupcakes, I tellin' you!
Raskall: That's nice, but if my Dustinese is accurate, you asked us about Ultimo Chocula. Yeah, I don't care much for the guy. So what if we're all supposed to be on the same side? The point is, he and Mister Hat Fetish screwed us out of our tag title win. And if that doesn't add enough insult to injury, guess who gets the title shot this week? Friggin' Curly and Big. So what is it, Toomi? You have an open contract that says "Anybody who screws over Raskall and Trunk gets a title shot"? Why don't you add Ultimo and Hat Boy and make it a triple threat, huh?
Dusty: But you ain't got to worry 'bout dem tag title belts right now, daddy! You gots to focus on dat Royal Pain in the Ass Rumble dat comin' up, at da Omni in Atlanta, Jawjuh, at Starrcade!
Raskall: Yeah, Starrcade, whatever. Listen, splotchy, if I'm already in the ring and Ultimo's music hits, I'll be the first to knock his ass right back on the floor. I'm real quick like that. *suddenly a smile spreads across his face* But whether it be EWT's Original Hollywood Playboy or the 300-pound unstoppable tank who wins it all, you'll see a royal celebration the likes of which you've never seen!
Dusty: An' I'll be there to watch it all go down! Right here on da muddaship!
Raskall: No, you'll be locked in the closet with a stale Hershey bar.
Dusty: Anyways, you boys got to tangle wit' dat Team LEO! Dey may be small, dey may be young, but dey know all about goin' to dat pay windah! Dey been E-Dubya-Tee Tag Team Champ-yuns! Whatchoo gonna do 'bout Team LEO?
Raskall: Look, just because a couple of video game nerds suddenly think they're martial arts experts is no concern of mine or Trunk's. In fact, I bet Trunk can handle both of them by himself without breaking a sweat.
Trunk grins and cracks his knuckles.
Raskall: See that? He's already primed for action.
AMEEEEERRRRRRRIIICAAAAAA-AAAAAA-AAANNNN...DRREEEEEEEAAAAAAAAMMMMMM...
Dusty: Whoa daddy, dat's mah cue! Dat's all fo' dis interview here tonight! I'm da 'MericanDreamDuthtay Rhodeth! Now it's time to shake my big ol' belly welly!
HE'S JUST A COMMON MAN...WORKING HARD WITH HIS HANDS...
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