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Post by Redface: Dispenser of Justice on Jan 20, 2007 19:32:56 GMT -5
*The Crowd roars as a Stranger Appears on the Titan-tron. He begins to speak*
My Name is Redface. I'm a Man of Few Words. These Are My Few Words:
Expect: Pain. Mutliation. Domination. I will make this. My Nation. This Federation. My Federation. Death. Dismemberment. Hatred. Rage. Strength. Glory.
I'm Coming. Now's yer chance to run and hide. *He Walks off screen*
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Indigocrates
Unicron
I got bored. Decided to become a philosopher. Just 'cause.
Posts: 2,953
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Post by Indigocrates on Jan 20, 2007 21:04:49 GMT -5
*In Toom E.'s office, Toom still has a disgusted look on his face as he looks at his desk, still covered in green liquid. Christopher Indigo then walks into One's office*
Christopher: *Looking at Toom's liquid covered desk* A doubleplusgood leader like yourself deserves better than this.
Toom: You know, you, Joe One, and Ratings ae the only people I've been able to tolerate tonight. I assume you're here for the RPITAR.
*Toom opens a drawer in his desk and pulls out a sign-up sheet, and hands it to Indigo. Indigo signs up for the Rumble, and returns the sign-up sheet to Toom*
*Toom and Indigo shake hands*
Indigo: For you, the leader of EWT, and for BB.
*Indigo leaves as we cut to the next segement*
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Post by Marksus on Jan 21, 2007 1:28:19 GMT -5
Justin Timberlake’s Rock Your Body booms outLillian: Introducing first, hailing from Hollywood, California, The self-professed Superstar Benz. Strobe lights spin around and stop to reveal a silhouette on the curtain. The curtain drops as pyro’s erupt across the rampway. Benz pops and dances his way down the aisle and slowly climbs into the ring straightens his pure white suit and tips his hat. "White & Nerdy" by Weird Al begins to play * Lillian,. from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, being accompanied to the ring by Job Bher, representing The F.O.G, Koda Kazar! The Fanboy Otaku Gamers slide into the ring and Job takes the mic from Lillian: Job: n!c3 $u!7 w4nn483, p.$. u $ux Koda: Ha your right Job that is a ‘nice’ suit and he does suck. Crowd laughs. Benz throws his wide brimmed hat at Job while launches himself at Koda with a series of right hands. Koda battles back with chops ‘Whoooo!’ Benz cuts him off knees to the gut and elbows to the face. Koda is launched across the ring with a butterfly suplex, Benz sizes up his fallen opponent. Koda slowly rises shaking his head clear. Benz starts to launch himself but is stopped in his tracks as Job rips off the ‘Superstars’ tear away suit. The crowd laughs at Benz’s as he swings at Job. Koda hits an enzuigiri and leaps over the top rope snapping Benz’s throat on the steel cable. Job and Koda high five each other at ringside, KK slides back into the ring and drops a couple of elbows rattling Benz to the core. A thumb to the eye by Benz halts the assault he half hits a super kick knocking Kazar into the turnbuckle. Benz charges but is flipped over the rope. He lands on the apron and springs to the top rope only to leap off and catch Koda with his Pepsi twist (poisonrana). Going for the quick win Benz tries for the Lionsault, Koda rolls away, Benz twists in mid-air and lands on his feet. A backwards leg sweep by Koda but Benz jumps clear a forward leg sweep is avoided too. Benz’s stomp is blocked and pushed away he backflips over, Koda pushes up into a headscissors and pulls Benz over. The pop wannabe cartwheels back to a vertical base. Koda kips-up face to face with Benz in an ‘Indy stand-off’ as the crowd pop. Koda extends his hand in a sign of respect, Benz arrogantly slaps it away and indicates to look at his body then sneers and points to Koda. Koda shakes his head. The pair lock-up Benz spins out into a waistlock, Koda ducks for the leg, Benz avoids it, Koda reverses into a waistlock of his own. Benz’s back elbow misses as he spins around. Koda launches him over into a belly to belly Benz lands hard on his head and bounces across the mat. Koda sprints to the corner then jumps onto the middle rope and springs to the top rope. The fans gasp in anticipation. Koda leaps high into the air before gracefully arching down in a perfect moonsault. 1 2 Kickout! Koda picks up Benz’s hat teases putting it on and throws it to the crowd then hits a recovering Benz with his Glomp running tackle and follows up with a barrage of punches. Koda climbs up top, Benz struggles to his feet and staggers towards his nerdy opponent. A mushroom stomp knocks the popstar wannabe bouncing off the turnbuckle. Koda goes for the cover. 1 2 Shoulders up. Koda throws kicks at Benz’s chest and back driving him backwards into the corner. Koda’s educated feet drill Benz in the chest and finish with a roundhouse to the face. Koda grabs a side headlock and launches into his Matrix bulldog. Benz holds onto the ropes blocking the move then drops Koda onto the top rope. A triangle dropkick sends KK hard into the ringside barriers. Benz exhales deeply spits on his hand to check for blood and tries to clear his head. Still groggy he runs to the far rope clutching his head darts across the ring leaping onto the top rope before flipping into a Senton knocking Kazar back down. 1 2 3 The ref starts to count both men. 4 5 Benz is up and staggers around the ring, the ref calls him back into the ring. Job Bher roles his partner back into the ring while the ref is distracted. Benz struggles back into the ring and hits Koda with a low dropkick right to the face. The still dazed Popster locks in a front facelock and really works the hold grinding and twisting KK. Benz release the hold and lifts Kasar up ito a piledriver. Seeing his partner in trouble Job leaps onto the apron. Benz tosses Koda down and lunges for Job Bher. Job drops to ringside. Job: y0u'r3 $0 $7up!d y0u f311 f0r 7h47 4g4!n! The ref points Benz back to his opponent, Benz spins shuffles a few dance moves smiles and begins to drag Koda back into the piledriver position. Small package! 1 2 2 ¾ An Armdrag and a dropkick sends Benz reeling, KK with a whip to the ropes JT Roolz springboard thrust kick by Benz. Koda rolls around clutching his face while Benz kneels centre ring his head spinning. Koda is up clutching his jaw Benz reaches up grabs a ¾ facelock and flips over pulling Koda down into a backcracker. The crowd cringe then start to chant: Koda is dead, Koda is dead! Benz points to the top: It’s time to get diirrrrty Benz is up top he stops to pop a few robot dance moves. Koda isn't dead he springs up and bounces into the ropes crutching Benz on the top strand. Otaku Cutter!!!!! From the top rope!!! Cover 1 2 3 Lillian: your winner Koda Kazer. Job Bher helps Koda from the ring and raises his hand, Koda grimaces and grabs his lower back stumbling up the ramp. Benz is still laid out in the ring seeing stars.
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Post by dorf on Jan 21, 2007 17:52:13 GMT -5
*Camera rises and is shown in a hospital. Dorf and Heiden-Dorf are in the room. Dorf has some news to say.* Dorf: Heiden-Dorf...I have very bad news to say to you. Heiden-Dorf: *tears up a little*....what is it? Dorf: It's best I give you this first. *hands Heiden-Dorf a platter of Cheese Sandwich and a creamy tomato soup and Heiden-Dorf eats it.* The doctor told me....*pauses* you might be, for the rest of your life, p- *just at that second a doctor with a gas mask on walks right in* Doctor: Mr. Dorf, its best that I tell him...not you...you silly person you. *laughs a little* Dorf: You sound familiar...*thinks a bit* Doctor: *stops laughing* Oh. I probably helped you when you had that injury from late 2004...with that Bear Hug. Dorf: *remembers* OH....now, I remember ya. *gets serious* Alright, go on and tell us the news so that we can talk for a bit. Doctor: Right...I have to give him a sedative....for medicative purposes....before we can give a total prognosis ...*Heiden-Dorf raises arm* no....guess again...*Heiden-Dorf shrugs shoulders* this is for...your butt. Dorf: Wait...*Doctor inserts needle into Heiden-Dorf's butt* no, no...the other doctor told me that his right patella is can never be healed. *takes needle out of Heiden-Dorf's butt* Doctor: blood....*quietly said that and becomes resumes normal talk* total prognosis is that heiden-dorf here is as fine and dandy as a wolf....except he's now PARAPLEGIC for the rest of his life....hee he....*numerous evil laughter ensues by doctor as he reveals to be none other than psychoapeguy!*Dorf: YOU SICK FREAK! *prepares to strike ape, but ape says something* Ape: you could beat me up now....but that is not the goal....hee hee....you have five minutes....to get the antidote...and heiden-dorf here will be paraplegic for the...rest of this life.
i'd suggest you find it now...but your wasting time...listening to me....in fact...your now just under four minutes. Dorf: S***! *becomes teary-eyed* OH GOD! *releases ape and runs away to find antidote, while ape stays in Heiden-Dorf's room.* Ape: you'd think...that i would forget you embarassing me from 2005?? lemme remind you...you descrated the ape legacy of pain in creating sargeantapeguy....*gets real close to Heiden-Dorf* YOU WERE THE PERSON....THAT GOT ME FIRED....IN EWT WHILE I WAS BEING A SWEET AND CARING GM...why did you blame me....why DID YOU TURN AWAY and get me in trouble...that i loved for, BLED FOR?
For almost a year, I had my life....TURNED SOMEWHERE...somewhere where i had not expected...I WENT TO A CHURCH....and that made me cry...so muchhhhh....until i met rosebud....and now he's in the room next to yours....his career is ruined for the rest of his life...THANKS TO DORF.
i know you and dorf got me fired...hee he....you ruined my rosebud....now its MY TURN...oh and by the way...the time you would be paraplegic from the waist down would be immediately after the sedative hitted your bloodstream....hee...he he he...hee...tell dorf whenever he comes back...that i will see you in the royal pain in the ass rumble 3...and i will watch him suffer just as much as you are right now for all eternity. *uses evil laughter to walk out* *30 seconds later dorf sprints right in* Dorf: FOUND IT! Turn around for me. *Heiden-Dorf tries, but he cannot* TURN AROUND! I know I got a minute yet. *Heiden-Dorf tries again, but cannot move his waist.* Heiden-Dorf: me...cannot move...below hips. ' Dorf: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *Camera fades to black for commerical*
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Post by Tha Kid Joker on Jan 21, 2007 20:01:33 GMT -5
Cassinova is seen walking down the hallways, practicing his Colt Cabana strut, when he happens to pass by Toom E.'s office. He struts by it and walks off camera, only to backtrack and stop in front of the door.
Cassinova: Book Spyke Johannson to get a title shot before me, will he? Well I'll show this tight-ass.
Cassinova opens the door and barges into the office in a rage. The cameraman barely has enough time to get in before Cassinova slams the door shut. He tosses one of the wooden chairs across the room and begins yelling at Toom E., who can't be seen as he's sitting in a large black chair with his back to Cassinova.
Cassinova: Toom E. Dangerously... you inbred, salad-tossing, waste of oily-skin and receding hair. How dare you book that U Got Served reject Spyke Johannson to be in that title match against Crauswell? In case you were too busy making out with Ratings, let me fill you in on the current Ox-Division situation. I killed that Chad Michaels kid in a ladder match to become the number one contender. Yes, say it with me, the NUMBER ONE contender. That means I get first dibs at that turtle-dove who has the belt right now, in case you're too stupid to know what the stipulation of a match you book really means.
Stunned into silence, eh? Well, imagine my surprise when I heard the news. Picture this: I'm healing from my life-threatening injuries at home with five skeezers and their sisters, and I get a call saying that Spyke Johannson has a title shot. I tell them to hop off me and immediately catch a flight back here. Let me ask you something, Tack E. Dumbass-ly, what did he do to get a title shot? Who did his chick give a lap dance to to get that opportunity?
Cassinova waits for a response, before becoming impatient.
Cassinova: You know what? Save it. I didn't risk my ass in a ladder match--did you ever see that match?--for nothing. I'm tired of being screwed over in this company. If you don't do something about this, I will. And trust me, nobody will be a big fan of what I'll do.
Cassinova raises an eyebrow after he still doesn't get a response.
Cassinova: Hey, Mr. Toom E. Dips***. Are you listening to me?
Cassinova spins the large chair around, only to find that no one is in it. He looks confused before cursing to himself, and begins to turn around and walk away. At the last second, a clipboard on the chair catches his eye. He picks it up and reads the paper attached to it, smirking at what he sees.
Cassinova: Psh, why don't they just call it the "Cassinova Kicks Everyone's Ass And Skyrockets To Stardom Rumble?"
Cassinova laughs and signs the clipboard, tossing it on the floor and walking out of the room, once again practicing his Colt Cabana strut.
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Post by pta on Jan 22, 2007 0:12:41 GMT -5
Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
Torture Killer by Multiple Accounts of Murder starts up first, as the first man in the match steps out from the back, slowly stomping towards the ring, as he receives a light roar from the crowd.
Announcer: Introducing first, from Toronto Ontario, weighing in at 285 pounds, he is Mutilated!
Mutilated hops onto the ring apron, pushing down the ropes, quickly stepping over and delivering his trademark sneer, as he gazes up towards the ramp way, awaiting his opponent, who quickly arrives soon after, as Pomp and Circumstance starts up.
Announcer: And the opponent, accompanied to the ring by Principal Pain, from the Isle of Jamaica, weighing in at 226 pounds, Tutor Tyreese!
Tyreese steps out in his traditional wrestling gear, as Pain is decked out in his classic pre match principal's suit, only this time he isn't taking it off before it starts. He's wearing his spectacles, as the crowd boos Pain angrily... and Tyreese simply by association. Pain has a microphone in his grip as per usual.
Pain: Well well well... the living dead have risen upon us, and apparently they thought the best idea was to wrestle. Hmmmmph, a rather odd choice, especially since you're facing my protege here. I would suggest to you that you turn around, exit this arena, and fall face first into that defiled grave you spawned from.
The crowd boos as Mutilated looks back, quite annoyed with the principal as he gives a self satisfied smile, as Tyreese heads down towards the ring calmly, hopping onto the apron, wiping his feet before entering, and stepping inside. He walks up to Mutilated, offering a handshake, but Mutilated is way too smart to accept. Eventually Tyreese backs off, dropping down and getting into a Classic Wrestling Stance, as Mutilated watches him from the other side. Pain has meanwhile made his way to the ring, standing calmly as he watches the match about to unfold.
Tyreese quickly lunges forward, applying a side headlock immediately, but Mutilated powers out, countering with a side suplex, but Tyreese countering himself, landing on his feet and dropping behind, immediately applying a Reverse Sleeper, Mutilated once again overpowering and hoisting him up onto his back, flipping Tyreese off towards the mat, but again this guy refuses to give up, clinching in a face lock as he comes down, but again Mutilated throwing him off, Tyreese falling back, but rolling to his feet. He smiles, clapping a bit impressed, Mutilated a bit confused, before Tyreese rolls back out of the ring, slowly walking around and utilizing the full ten count, before rolling back in as he rebounds, lunging in and quickly hitting an arm wrench, Mutilated countering it, Tyreese then using some acrobatic skill, back flipping and using the momentum for an Arm Drag, but Mutilated rolls to his feet, still not very affected. Tyreese starts circling Mutilated again, who instantly charges for a clothesline, Tyreese ducking under with ease, as the big man comes off the ropes, Tyreese rolling under a second one, as he takes time to taunt, pointing to his head and indicating how much smarter he is, when Mutilated comes off again, this time hitting the Northern Lariat! Tyreese goes down on all fours as Mutilated hits a swift series of clubs to the back, switching up eventually to some axe handles as Tyreese quickly gets to his feet, focused once again. Muti grabs him, lifting him up and hitting a Front Suplex, as he follows with a forearm across the face, Tyreese quickly rolling out of the way, as Muti pursues, yanking him up to his feet, rocking him with some fists, then whipping him off the ropes, catching him for a Powerslam! He goes for a cover... 1...2.
Tyreese kicks out. Muti proceeds to mount more offense, as he climbs atop, hitting some vicious fists to the face, which Tyreese wisely protect. Mutilated gets off, as he watches his opponent on the mat. Tyreese once again rises up, looking rather annoyed at how... ugly, this man wrestles. He mocks his style with a cliche nose hold, as the crowd boos in reply. Muti gets pissed, charging right into a Drop Toe Hold. He quickly rolls Muti over as he transitions into a Crucifix Kneebar, quickly applying pressure, as Mutilated groans a bit, Tyreese meanwhile keeping the hold clinched on tight, before switching into a Reverse Figure Four on this same leg, as Mutilated struggles to fight out, crawling towards the ropes, but Tyreese stopping him as he keeps Mutilated grounded further, but the bigger man continues to try and fight out of the hold, crawling closer and closer, until eventually Tyreese deliberately breaks the hold, jumping up and grabbing the same leg, driving it into the mat with some kind of Leg-DDT thing. Muti groans, nursing the area a bit now, as Tyreese quickly pulls him up by the same foot, with a bit difficulty, quickly snapping off a Dragon Screw. He gets back to his feet, then walking over and lifting up the leg again, then slamming it back into the mat, as he rolls him over once again, smashing the knee into the canvas, before Muti manages to kick him off, clutching his leg in pain. Tyreese slowly paces around Mutilated, as he lifts him up to his feet, hoisting him up high and driving him down with a Shin Breaker, as Mutilated yelps out in pain, Tyreese quickly dropping down, hooking the leg and covering. 1...2.. Mutilated gets the shoulder up.
Tyreese rolls off again, grabbing the same leg once again, as he flip forward, pulling hard on it in a Leg Pick, doing further damage. He hoists him up once again, looking for a Fisherman Suplex, which Muti blocks with his other leg, Tyreese looking annoyed, as he tries again, only to once again be stopped. Mutilated then overpowers him once again, hitting a Vertical Suplex, taking Tyreese down! The crowd cheers as Mutilated gets back up, considerable slowed down though thanks to Tyreese, who meanwhile rises back up. Mutilated hits him with a few more swift punches, before whipping him off the ropes, catching him as he comes back with a monstrous big boot! Tyreese goes down hard, clutching his face, as Mutilated lifts him back up, hoisting him high and nailing a Sideslam! He goes for a quick cover. 1...2..
Tyreese manages to kick out. Mutilated quickly rises up, not discouraged, as he drops a forearm across Tyreese's face, getting back up and yanking him to his feet, as he then hoists him up onto his shoulders, dropping down for a Quick Shock Treatment, before standing back up, grimacing a bit from the pressure on his leg, but managing to snap off the quick Dominator! Tyreese bounces off the mat, clutching his back a bit as Mutilated takes a quick breather, before climbing atop the turnbuckle, looking to hit something big. As Tyreese rises up, he leaps off for a Flying Clothesline, only for Tyreese to quickly sidestep, bouncing off the ropes and catching Mutilated with a knee clip! He instantly goes back down to the mat, as the crowd boos, Tyreese looking quite relieved. He gets back to his feet, walking over and grabbing the leg again, applying a Knee Stretch as he drives it back into the mat, Tyreese rises back up, Stretching the knee once again, as he looks to completely destroy Mutilated's vertical base. He drops down once again, now slapping on an Achilles Tendon Hold, as he sits back, Mutilated once again grimacing in agony, as he struggles to escape, but Tyreese once again refuses to let go. Mutilated now slowly starts to sit up, fighting through the pain, then delivering a few quick shots, enough to break the hold. The crowd cheers, as he once again makes his way up, clutching again at that leg, but still able to stand. Tyreese sits up, once again, rising to his feet, as he kicks Tyreese in the gut, lifting him and bringing him down for a Shoulder Breaker! Tyreese gasps in pain, as Mutilated delivers a few well placed stomps to his opponent, as he looks to end things now, getting a nice pop. dropping down and trying to lock on the BDG! Tyreese groans, now quickly crawling towards the bottom rope as he lunges out to grab it. Mutilated however is making sure he can't by putting his full weight atop of him, as he applies further and further pressure. Pain leans in the ring now, watching with anticipation, as Tyreese somehow manages to make it to the bottom rope, clasping on tight. The referee forces Mutilated to break the hold after administering a five count. Mutilated however doesn't seem to care, as he yanks Tyreese back up, pressing him up high, then hitting his Rib Spreader, as Tyreese grasps further at his back, Mutilated now covering. 1.....2...
Tyreese gets his foot on the bottom rope. Mutilated can't believe it. He sits up, once again, pulling the tutor back up, setting him up for a Powerbomb, but Tyreese quickly counters, into a Victory Roll! 1....2.... but no, quickly breaks the pin himself, instead quickly transitioning into the Class Dismisser! Mutilated lasts as long as he can, but his leg has taken way too much damage and he taps pretty quickly.
Announcer: Here is your winner... Tutor Tyreese!
Tyreese looks down at Mutilated, now shaking his head, as Pain nods in reply, entering the ring as well, as he motions to Tyreese, who holds him in a Full Nelson, as Pain has a Steel Chair now, which he starts bashing right into the leg of Mutilated! He screams out in pain, as Pain himself looks on with delight, Tyreese making sure Mutilated can't go anywhere. All of a sudden, a slightly worn Benz charges down, as he vaults over the top rope, taking Pain down with a Hurricane Style Clothesline, as he rolls to the outside, clutching his still slightly injured back. He looks at Tyreese who breaks the Full Nelson, as Mutilated rises up now, looking to grab the tutor, as Benz comes off for the J.T. Roolz! However, Tyreese shoves Mutilated into the way, quickly exiting the ring as he runs over, helping Pain up and quickly exiting the ring area, before these two can get revenge. Mutilated rises back up, looking at Benz, who quickly apologizes for his actions, as meanwhile Tyreese has pulled the chalkboard from the backstage area, a satisfied look as his makes another mark on the Pain/Tyreese side, making it 2 and 0. Mutilated and Benz turn their attention, glaring at this damn chalkboard in anger as a recovered Pain and Tyreese head to the back, taking their board along with them as we fade to commercial.
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Post by Redface: Dispenser of Justice on Jan 22, 2007 20:04:28 GMT -5
*Redface Rodgers enters Toom E's Office*
Toom: What the hell are you doing here? What do you want?
Red: I'm here to sign up.
Toom: What? I can't let you sign up! You haven't even fought in a single match yet!
Red: What Better way then to prove myself than have my debut be in the Rumble?
Toom: ....Sorry, kid. Come Back Next year.
Red: WHAT?? You said the Rumble was open to anyone!
Toom: You're just a newbie. If I let you enter...I dunno...It'd be un-precedented! I can't have that.
Red: YOU GOTTA LET ME ENTER! YOU GOTTA!
*Redface flips over Toom E. Desk. Toom E. is un-wavering*
Toom: You think that's how you get things around here? BY BEING A JACK-ASS? Y'know what, if it'll get you out of here, here's the damn list
*Redface Signs his name on the sheet, Toom E. Takes it and scans it breifly*
Toom: So there you have it. Redface Rodgers will make his in-ring Debut in the Royal Pain in the ass Rumble. All I know is you better own in that ring. I'm putting my rep on the line so you can be in this thing.
Red: You Won't regret it. I'll Be champ soon enough! *Exit*
Toom: Yeah, And I'll be the next President.
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Boku AKA Da Green Guy
El Dandy
WC's Resident Pirate Otaku and Official Scapegoat
Always and Forever, Hurricane.
Posts: 8,371
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Post by Boku AKA Da Green Guy on Jan 23, 2007 1:40:00 GMT -5
*Backstage outside Toomi's office; “The Wrestle Posse” Tenacious J & A walk into view. Axel's looks to be steaming*
Axel: Finally, we're here.
Jobby: You know that whole getting lost thing we went through reminded me of Spinal Tap when-
Axel: Enough!
*Sum Guy walks into view*
Sum Guy: I'em Sum Guah en mah moufh huerts!
*Axel looks at Jobby.*
Axel: Look, I'll talk to the boss... You say whatever you were going to say to me to Big Lips McGree right there.
Jobby: Will do!
*Axel opens the door as Jobby starts talking about the genius of Spinal Tap compared to the garbage today, while Sum Guy is trying to say that he might need medical assistance. We now see Axel walking to the disaster area that is Toomi's office.*
Axel: Hey boss! I got something to sa-
*Axel sees the overturned desk with green puke on it.*
Axel: Did I interrupt something important?
*Toomi sees Axel as a way to direct his anger.*
Toomi: Who the hell are you and what the hell do you want?!
*Axel also feeling angry but decides to hold back.*
Axel: I'm Axel Halaway!
*Toomi's face shows no sign of recognition.*
Axel: You know, the Icon?
*Again, Toomi's face shows no sign of recognition.*
Axel: From Tenacious J & A?
Toomi: ...Who?
Axel: ....From the Wrestle Posse.... Tenacious J & A.....
Toomi: Oh yes, Jobby's group.
*Axel's ego takes a massive blow*
Axel: I'm here for-
Toomi: For the RPITAR right?
Axel: ...The what?
Toomi: The Royal Pain in the Ass Rumble that will crown EWT Royalty...
Axel: Ah... Sure I guess but that's not why I'm here...
Toomi: Why are you here then?
Axel: I'm here to demand a match against Thunder and Jupiter! Those bastards have threatened my chances of a singles career!
Toomi: ...Wasn't Jobby attacked?
Axel: Exactly! I'm doomed to tag with that moron until we get the tag titles, and if he gets put on the shelf I'm stuck with him!
Toomi: Ah yes, I remember your contract now...
*Toomi goes to say something but stops.*
Toomi: ...Well about your “request”, I'm afraid that I can't grant it to you. TJT have already signed for the Rumble, and therefore you can't have a match against them.
Axel: Then I'll sign for the Rumble!
*Axel goes to sign but Toomi takes the sign up sheet away before Axel can sign.*
Toomi: Following your contract, you can't participate in the Rumble as only one can win the Rumble. And since you can't have a singles career yet, you can't be in the Rumble. So you came here for nothing.
*Axel looks outraged*
Axel: So you're saying I can't have a match with TJT!?
Toomi: Precisely.
*Axel is so upset that he is shaking.*
Toomi: You can go now. You do still have a match with Cryme Tyme.
*Axel turns and heads toward the door. The camera goes back to Jobby.*
Jobby: WHAT?! HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT THRILLER WASN'T THE BEST ALBUM EVER!
*Sum Guy tries to tell Jobby that he didn't say that but decides to turn and walk away. He gets stopped in his tracks when he is hit face first by Toomi's door after Axel kicks it open in a rage. Axel walks out, over Sum Guy's limp body, and past Jobby.*
Jobby: So I take it that the talk went well?
*Axel walks away with Jobby hurrying to catch up with him. The camera goes down to Sum Guy.*
Sum Guy: Eyem Sum Guai en ey ate he Wress Possi!
*fade into commerical*
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Curly Long
AC Slater
Midget Wrestling Master
Posts: 234
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Post by Curly Long on Jan 23, 2007 14:12:41 GMT -5
Backstage and Curly Long alongside Mr. Big is looking at the match board. Curly Long strokes his bald head and grins the gap in his teeth visible. As we zoom out of this close up we find behind Curly there is a throng of beautiful women in bikini costumes. There must be at least 30 or so crowding around him. Sum Guy approaches the pair, but is having trouble and all that can be seen is a arm with a microphone bobbing up and down in the sea of women.
SUM GUY(Sounding distant): Hey I'm Sum Guy and I can't reach you ...
CURLY LONG: Hey an unexpected bonus Big!
The pair high five. Candy Girl however has had more luck as she has managed to walk through the crowd of scantily clad women, disguised as one of them. Meaning she is wearing just a bikini too!
CANDY GIRL: Hi everyone I'm Candy and I have to ask you Mr. Long what is this all about? Surely you should be preparing for your tag title shot against Team Ireland?
Curly stops to look Candy up and down. He then smiles and responds.
CURLY: Oh you right as always Candy. You see in recent weeks some people have been complaining that myself and Big have been interfereing in other matches.
CANDY: That would be Raskall and Trunk and Ultimo and ...
CURLY: Yeah well names aren't important .. no I take that back my name is important and factual .. heh .. What is important is that we have a tag title shot. Now if I know Raskall and Trunk or Ultimo, and I do. then they will surely want to interfere in out tag title match.
CANDY: so ...
CURLY: Welcome to my oh so dirty distraction!
*He raises his arms at all the girls behind him*
CURLY: Thirty of the most delectable, pole dancing, seductive, scantily clad strippers this side of America.
One of the girls caresses his bald head, the look on Curly's face would probably be not permitted on national TV
CURLY: Thus while me and Big beat seven different shades out of the emerald isle team and take our Tag Team Belts back. These lovely ladies are going to distract Raskall, Trunk, Ultimo, and anyone else who I have meddled with in the past few months ...
CANDY: You think of everything ...
CURLY: It's the perfect plan.
MR.BIG: Boss ... did you say past few months?... I mean that's probably the entire locker room and backstage staff.
CURLY: As I said, The Perfect Plan!
Curly turns to the ladies and ushers them off to different areas of the backstage locker room. He grins in confidence as Mr. Big lifts him up and carries him onto his shoulders. Curly wipes some sweat from his shirt.
CURLY: You know what Big, that guy was right.
MR.BIG: What would that be?
CURLY: Pimpin really isn't easy!! ...
He looks back as the last few strippers eneter the locker room area.
CURLY: But it is so much fun .. heh
They walk off towards the ring and out of sight
(fade to commercial)
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Post by Rick Raskall on Jan 23, 2007 14:42:45 GMT -5
Raskall and Trunk are still in the hallway.
Raskall: Hey. Finally something that my eyes can get used to.
Raskall and Trunk see the 30-or-so bikini-clad girls down the hallway.
Raskall: Good evening, ladies. Can I help you with something?
Women: (in unison) Good evening Mister Raskall. Good evening Mister Trunk.
Raskall: Hmm. That's weird.
Women: (in unison) Care to have a little fun?
Raskall: Um, sure. What did you have in mind?
Women: (in unison) Come with us, Mister Raskall. Come with us, Mister Trunk.
Raskall: Well, I've never been one to say no to a beautiful woman, much less thirty of them. Even if they all look and sound alike. Come on, Trunk.
Raskall, Trunk, and the thirty women enter one of the locker rooms.
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Post by Ultimo Chocula on Jan 23, 2007 15:20:41 GMT -5
(Backstage in their dressing room Ultimo Chocula, plopped down on a Lay-Z-Boy, is watching Curly's earlier promo on a TV as The Daryl Dragon sits over on the side poking around on a Casio keyboard. UC watches as Curly hops up on Big's shoulders and walks off with his army of strippers.)
UC: "Dammit! How did he do it? Normally Curly Fries couldn't get a woman to look at him if he had a hundred dollar bill sticking out of his zipper! Now he's got a whole armada! That's just great!"
(UC drums his fingers on the arm of his chair.)
UC: "Man, if Curly Fries and the umberhulk win the tag straps again we'll never hear the end of it! We'll never get a title shot, either! They'll have all the pull in the tag ranks and they'll be sitting pretty! Can you imagine that, Daryl? Those two pears with our belts! I'll bet you five bucks they'd have the belts refitted too! One shrunk down to the size of a Funyan, the other blown up like an inner tube! This can't happen! We gotta figure out a way to make sure The Boston Celtics stay the champs! But how?"
(UC gets up from his chair and paces the room. Daryl continues to play a little ditty on his keyboard.)
UC: "Lessee.........I can't run in. I won't get halfway down the ramp before I get jumped by his vampire lesbians. And I ain't Renee Dupree! It's either fight or *BEEP!*, not both! Hmmmm...............Daryl can't run in. They'll see him coming a mile away. Think, man, think. We could pull the fire alarm! Nah, that hasn't worked since high school. I could spike all the drinks at Curly Fries dressing room! It worked for Jim Jones! Oh........wait........the mass murder charge. Right, right.........hmmm.............There's gotta be a way................"
(Suddenly Daryl stops playing his keyboard and looks up.)
Daryl: "What's the difference between a hippo and an elephant? The elephant wears a bigger hat!"
(Canned laughter, then Daryl goes back to playing his keyboard as UC's face lights up.)
UC: "Of course! That's brilliant! Daryl, you magnificent bastard, you figured it out!"
(Daryl looks up and smiles like a dweeb.)
UC: "It's so easy! We get a woman to infiltrate Curly Fries' hooker mob and during the match she whacks him upside the head with a purse full of bricks! He'll never see it coming! Man, this plan is fool proof! Now all we need is our mole. Let's see, who's a woman that we can trust?"
(Just then PsyToni Tennille comes into the room carrying a tray of goodies.)
Tennille: "Who wants fondue?"
(UC begins to smile and laugh to himself as we go to the next bit.)
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Post by Rick Raskall on Jan 23, 2007 15:44:43 GMT -5
Meanwhile, in the locker room, the women are all over Raskall and Trunk.
Raskall: Oh yeah, that's good...Wait! Wait! Curly's match is tonight! I've got to beat Curly Long! I've got to beat Curly Long!
Woman: You're not going anywhere, Mister Raskall.
Raskall: No! No! Try to concentrate...baseball...cold showers...baseball cold showers...
Women: (in unison) You can't resist us, Mister Raskall. You can't resist us, Mister Trunk.
Raskall: Correction: I believe it's you who can't resist me.
Raskall gets up and turns on a conveniently placed stereo. Then he performs a ridiculous striptease. The women stare at him for a moment, then their eyes bug out, then sparks shoot out of them and their heads explode.
Raskall: My god. They were all FemBots!
Trunk comes over for a closer look.
Trunk: No they weren't. They were all contestants for the 2007 WWE Diva Search.
Raskall: Same thing. Come on, let's go find out what Curly's up to.
Raskall and Trunk exit the locker room.
Raskall: (in hallway) Dammit, where are my pants?
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Post by Redface: Dispenser of Justice on Jan 23, 2007 20:49:56 GMT -5
*Redface Rodgers is in his Dressing room watching old EWT videos and pumping iron*
Redface:...99....This "Ultimo Chocula" guy...100....I bet I could take him...101....ugh, next arm...1...2...3... This Cassanova chump, he looks like a buster...And this Merc dude...4...5...6...7...Pathetic....
*Jobby McJobberston enters*
Redface: Who are you? Waddya want?
*Jobby looks around. His face is somber*
Jobby: This isn't the Bathroom?
Redface: No, you Rube! Get Outta here!
*Jobby notices the T.V.*
Jobby: OH! T.V! ARE YOU WATCHING HE-MAN?!!?
Redface: No, I'm watching Old EWT videos, to prepare for The Rumble.
Jobby: The Rumble?
Redface: Yeah, the Royale Pain in the Ass Rumble.
Jobby: Oh...I bet Axel would like to be in that...
Redface: Axel...?
*Redface grumbles silently and returns to watching his videos*
*"The Icon" Axel Hallaway enters*
Axel: Jay! Jay, Where The Hell were you, dude?...I was lookin' for you! What's the Matter with you?
Jobby: I had to use the bathroom...
Redface: WOO! You Show them a Thing or Two, Jimmy Thunder!
Axel: *Suddenly Enraged* What are you watching there, Friend?
Redface: Oh, Just these TJT Guys. They're super great, And That Chick they're with...Hubba Hubba!
*Infuriated, Axel Knocks Redface off his Chair with a Mighty Punch*
Redface: AGH! WHAT THE HELL?
Jobby: Axel, Stop!
*Axel begins swinging away at Redface. Jobby Pulls Axel off of Redface and attempts to calm him Down. Redface gets back on his feet and tackles Axel into the T.V which falls to the Floor and Breaks. Redface Picks up Axel and throws him into the Hallway. Jobby Attempts to pull Redface off Axel but is dispatched by a Chop from Redface. Axel Gets up, Jumps on Redface and They Brawl all over the Backstage area until they are pulled apart by Security*
*Fade to Commercial*
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B.A.
Grimlock
Posts: 13,335
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Post by B.A. on Jan 23, 2007 22:06:55 GMT -5
*Eddie Omega is seen in the desert. His voice is heard but he's not talking but training for the match*
"For a long time...I've been preparing for this..."
*He runs sprints up and down the boulders* "My quest to be the next big thing is coming to an end..."
*He's looking at the sunset where thing's will be even more challenging*
"Come nightfall, and the rain...it's when I embrace it...."
*he screams* "I KNOW YOU SENSE ME MAELLLSTROOOOM...I will train!! I will put my body under the extremes!!"
*he's doing clap pushups in the scoarcing sun before the camera flashes over to nightfall*
"The sun is out scorching the desert plateau...yet I feel nothing Maelstrom..."
*He's doing situp's in the rain's that brings floods*
"I'll be the best come the gold or my death..."
*the camera pans out to show the plateau until Eddie looks small as an ant*
"I'm Eddie Omega, and I will show you what I can really do."
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ape
Unicron
Aunt Blabby Tells All.
bea wants all you sweathogs to take a look at what a REAL man is supposed to look like
Posts: 3,223
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Post by ape on Jan 24, 2007 9:06:10 GMT -5
*the camera fades into a rusted metal table....there is no movement, but chuckles can be heard in the background....after a moment, a crumb drops to the table....then a few more sprinkle down followed by a drop of gooey, melted cheese.....after a few more moments, a grilled cheese sandwich drops into the camera's view. the sandwich is covered in maggots and obviously not edible anymore. after a few more seconds, a screwdriver is jammed through the middle of the sandwich, making a loud 'clang' noise as it hit the metal table beneath it.
almost immediately after the screwdriver connects with the table, psychoapeguy slams his face into the sandwich with a headbutt. the sound of metal meeting ape's skull is slightly muffled by the cushon of the sandwich. when ape turns his head to face the camera, there is melted cheese, pieces of bread, and the remains of squished maggots covering his face. his eyes widen and he pulls out a needle for the camera to see. he pushes the liquid out like a geyser and laughs in a high-pitched, manic tone. he then inserts the needle one by one into the remaining living maggots and watches in glee as each one slowly stops moving.
without saying a word, yet still laughing, ape picks up the motionless maggots from the sandwich, one at a time, and forms them on the table. as he moves them around, the camera tilts forward to show ape's creation. as ape puts the last remaining maggot in place, he backs away to show the word 'dorf' written on the steel table. ape's eyes widen again, a vein pops from his forehead, and he begins to froth at the mouth....his laughter grows louder and more intense as he punches the helpless maggots repeatedly...the clanging of his fists meeting the table is barely heard amongst his psychotic laughter....after a few seconds, he snaps out of it and his deafening laughter turns to a quiet chuckle. the magots are now nothing but a puddle on the dented table.
ape lays his head down next to the wreckage and closes his eyes. he slowly runs his hang along the deceased maggots. his chuckling slowly turns to silence as the camera slowly fades to black.*
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Post by Rick Raskall on Jan 24, 2007 18:53:28 GMT -5
"Be Aggressive" by Faith No More hits as Team LEO, accompanied by Keiko, approaches the ring to boos.
Tony Chimel: The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. Approaching the ring accompanied by Keiko, at a combined weight of 347 pounds, Joel Nelson and Mike Hodgson...Team...LEO!!
Michael Cole: And welcome once again everybody, to EWT action! I'm Michael Cole along with John Bradshaw Layfield, and this match promises to be one of the best we have in store for you this week!
John "Bradshaw" Layfield: And what a show we've got this week, only a few weeks away from the Royal Pain in the Ass Rumble! Toom E. Dangerously has an open contract for the match, and anybody could find themselves being the first EWT Royalty, whatever the hell that means!
Michael Cole: Well, here we've got the former Nyrds, Team LEO. They used to be so popular with the fans, but since they turned their back on them at Symphony of Destruction, it's been nothing but boos and insults for the last two months.
John "Bradshaw" Layfield: I like their new attitude, Cole! I think it's refreshing to see two morons who were obsessed with video games to actually shape up and start working their asses off to get somewhere in this business!
Michael Cole: The former Nyrds have been EWT Tag Team Champions, John.
John "Bradshaw" Layfield: But with their rededication to their wrestling ability, they could win those titles tomorrow and not lose 'em for a decade!
NOW YOU'RE MESSIN WITH...A SON OF A B**** (now you're messin' with a son of a b****)
Michael Cole: Oh my!
Tony Chimel: And their opponents, at a combined weight of 514 pounds, Rick Raskall and Marcus Trunk!
Michael Cole: Raskall and Trunk outweigh Team LEO by nearly 200 pounds!
John "Bradshaw" Layfield: That may be true, Michael Cole, but with Raskall and Trunk's recent luck and Team LEO's experience, I'm favoring Team LEO in tonight's match.
The bell sounds as Trunk starts off with Joel. Joel raises his hand to lock up with Trunk, and Trunk sort of laughs him off. Joel, frustrated, puts his hand up again. Trunk grapples with Joel, but Joel immediately lands a kick to the side of Trunk's leg. Trunk shakes it off and shoves Joel across the ring.
Cole: Joel Nelson can't try to overpower Marcus Trunk here!
JBL: He was trying to work the leg, Cole! That's what you do when you're facing a larger opponent. You take down the legs. You'd know that if you'd ever wrestled a damn match.
Joel gets back to his feet and kicks Trunk in the leg again. He goes for another kick, but Trunk grabs his leg. Joel jumps and kicks Trunk in the abdomen with his other foot, sending Trunk stumbling back a bit, but he's still unfazed. As Joel tries to get back to his feet, Trunk hits a running shin kick to Joel's chest, and Joel clutches his chest in pain. Trunk picks up Joel and presses him over his head, then tosses him at Mike at ringside, sending both of them toppling off the apron to cheers from the crowd.
While Joel and Mike are regrouping on the outside, Trunk motions for Raskall to come into the ring. Trunk leans up against the rope. Raskall comes off the opposite rope, runs up Trunk's back, and executes a beautiful corkscrew senton onto Team LEO!
Cole: Oh myyyy! What an incredible move by Rick Raskall!
JBL: I'll admit that got me out of my seat!
Raskall gets back to his feet. Trunk attempts to leave the ring and come after Team LEO, but the referee stps him. While the ref's back is turned, Keiko leaps on Raskall's back and tries to choke him out. While Raskall is trying to fight her off, Mike lands a stiff kick to the back of Raskall's leg. Joel gets to his feet and they hit a double chop block, taking out Raskall's legs. Raskall rolls into the ring with Joel following. Raskall crawls back to the corner with Joel laying in a few more stomps for good measure.
With both legal men back in the ring, Trunk goes for a clothesline, but Joel ducks. He comes back with a basement dropkick to Trunk's legs, which staggers Trunk a bit. Joel goes of the ropes and hits another basement dropkick, making Trunk stumble. With Trunk at about eye level with Joel, Joel goes to work with knees to the head. After landing enough knees to make Trunk woozy, Joel tags in Mike. Mike lays into Trunk with kicks to the back. He then tags Joel back in. Trunk tries to get back to his feet, but Joel and Mike both come off the ropes and deliver a combination Shining Wizard/Enzuigiri!
Cole: Oh my! What a maneuver!
Joel goes for a cover.
1...2...kickout!
Cole: Oh my! Trunk kicked out after that vicious assault!
JBL: Marcus Trunk is a big man, Michael Cole!
With Trunk still down, Joel decides to go for the finish. He climbs to the top rope.
Cole: What's happening here, John?
JBL: Looks like Team LEO is looking to finish this one off!
Joel comes flying off the top with the Lion Star Press, but Trunk gets his knees up!
Cole: Oh my! Marcus Trunk crushing the sternum of Joel Nelson!
Trunk crawls over to his corner and makes the hot tag to Raskall, as Joel tags in Mike. Raskall comes in, still favoring the leg, and drops Mike with a clothesline. He hits another one on Mike, then hits him with a single-leg lariat. Raskall runs into Team LEO's corner and dropkicks Joel off the apron, but that gives Mike an opening to clothesline Raskall into the turnbuckle. Mike whips Raskall into the corner, but Raskall hops up to the second rope, then springs off, hitting a beautiful tornado DDT. Raskall and Mike are both down.
Cole: Oh my! A DDT by Rick Raskall! Both men are down!
JBL: This is where intestinal fortitude comes in, Cole! Do you have the energy to make it to your corner and make the tag?
Raskall makes the tag to Trunk and the EWT Arena goes crazy! Trunk levels Mike with a clothesline. He sends Joel rolling out of the ring with a boot to the head. Then he whips Mike off the ropes, flapjacking him in the air and crushing him with a huge powerslam!
Cole: Oh my! The arena shook from the impact!
With Mike motionless on the mat, Trunk points to the turnbuckle. Slowly, he begins to climb to the top!
JBL: What's he doing? Marcus Trunk never climbs to the top rope!
Cole: I don't know John, but I can't wait to find out!
Trunk has climbed to the top. Then he taps his heart twice, points a finger to the sky, and flies through the air, landing a devastating diving headbutt to Mike Hodgson!
Cole: Oh my! A diving headbutt! What an incredible move!
JBL: Shades of the late, great Bam Bam Bigelow, Cole!
Trunk and Mike are lying on the mat as chants of "Thank You Bam Bam" echo throughout the arena. Slowly, Trunk crawls over to Mike and makes a cover!
1...2...NO!
Joel dives across the ring and barely breaks up the three-count.
Cole: Joel Nelson breaks up the three-count! The match continues!
Joel attacks with knee strikes to Trunk's weakened head. The referee shoves Joel away as Trunk attempts to get back to his corner. Trunk makes the tag to Raskall, who comes after Joel. But the referee motions Raskall back to his corner.
Cole: The referee didn't see the tag! Come on!
JBL: Hey, what the ref doesn't see, doesn't count!
While Raskall is arguing with the ref, Trunk turns around into a Gamengiri by Mike, staggering the 300-pound man. Mike runs off the ropes and hits a flying Yakuza kick, finally knocking the big man down. He goes for a cover.
1...2...kickout!
Trunk kicks out of the Yakuza kick! Mike drags Trunk to his corner with all his remaining strength and tags in Joel. Mike and Joel whip Trunk into the ropes, but Trunk ducks a double clothesline, coming back and flattening Team LEO with a double STO!
Cole: Oh my! What a takedown by Marcus Trunk! And now he's got an opportunity!
Trunk manages to make it back to his corner and finally make a legal tag to Raskall. He dropkicks Mike out of the ring, then dropkicks Joel. He gets Joel back to his feet and wrenches his arm, then climbs up to the top rope. He walks along the top rope old-school style, then dives off with a hurricanrana!
Cole: The Walk of Fame! Rick Raskall could finish it off right here!
But before Raskall can get fired up, the sinister "Movin' On Up" plays over the PA system, and Raskall has a frustrated look on his face. He looks toward the entrance and dares Curly to come get him. But nobody comes out.
Cole: What's going on here? That's Curly Long's music, but Curly Long isn't here!
Just then, Joel gets back to his feet and kicks Raskall hard in the back. With Raskall reeling, Joel cals for Keiko to climb the ropes. Keiko goes to the top and flies off, hitting a double stomp to Raskall's chest as Joel hits a lungblower. Meanwhile, the referee is attending to Mike on the outside. Joel makes a cover and yells for the referee to make the count.
Cole: No! Not this way! Not this way!
1...2...3!
Cole: Dammit!
Tony Chimel: Here are your winners, Team LEO!
Mike manages to roll back into the ring to celebrate victory with his partner Joel.
Cole: Well, Team LEO pulls out the victory here tonight, with a little "assistance" from Curly Long.
JBL: Curly Long didn't have anything to do with this match!
Cole: Of course he did! That was his music, wasn't it?
JBL: But Curly didn't even come out during the match! It's Rick Raskall's fault that he was distracted by it!
Cole: Nevertheless, Raskall and Trunk have got to find a way to get back on the winning track if they ever want to get their hands on those EWT Tag Team titles.
JBL: And it's just a few weeks away from the Royal Pain in the Ass Rumble, which means either one of those guys could be crowned EWT Royalty!
Cole: We'll be right back with more EWT action!
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Jan 24, 2007 19:43:05 GMT -5
*We fade into EWT Backstage, where Mike Ragnal is heading for the ramp, his Tri-State title around his waist, when suddenly, SumGuy once again steps in front of him, smiling right into the camera lens. All the audience can see is his dirty mouth. Dude needs Orbit or something. Anyway...*
SG: I'm Sum Guy, and I'm participating in my first Rumble ever!
MIKE: Gee, that's a surprise. Then again, Drew Carey got into a Rumble once, so that's really not a surprise, no.
SG: Mike, how do you feel knowing that the woman that wants to claim your Tri-State championship, Oceanic, will be in the PITA Rumble as well?
MIKE: Sum, no different from the last time I was in the ring with 30+ wrestlers. I'm confident that yes, I could win, but my odds are pretty slim. First off, I don't have Joe or Linda to back me up like last time. Second, while I've gotten better at the wrestling game since then, we've had more and more wrestlers looking to vye for that top spot. Third...third is that odds are, Oceanic COULD walk out of it the winner. And as of late, that would REALLY piss me off!
SG: Oceanic could win? I don't see-
MIKE: Think about it. Oceanic was one of three women to compete. Last time, she got clobbered to the outside thanks to Hillary C***on. If Clitton hadn't taken her out, Oceanic MAY have gone to Crapamania 2 against DSR for the EWT title. The only problem is...after she sprayed mist in my eyes, the gloves are off. I'm not gonna hold back on her. I respect Oceanic, but BAH GAWD, if she wants to be in the men's division, she's gonna get the same respect as the rest of us get!
Thing is, I'm not giving her Hardcore matches once we fight again. No, way too easy. The only way she's going to get it is to prove her wrestling ability, NOT "Who can beat my brains in with a chair?"! But right now, I have a match against Chance Confi-
SG: About that...Chance is gone.
MIKE: What, you mean...he's not booked?
*Thanks, Dennis*
SG: Right.
MIKE: Well that's just...EEERGH!
SG: But the good news is, he has a friend from England who's on his way here to take his place.
MIKE: Well...fine, I'll take it. But if it turns out to be Spud, I'm gonna break some bones.
*Mike then gets all up in Sum's face*
MIKE: Maybe yours.
*And with that, Mike walks away, as Sum Guy stares back at the camera, terrified.*
SG: Um...I'm Sum Guy, and...I know I've done this too much, but I just wet myself. Badly. Seriously, it looks like I got sprayed by a taxi cab going through a puddle. Can someone get me some pants? Anyone?
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Post by Redface: Dispenser of Justice on Jan 24, 2007 21:11:29 GMT -5
*The Shot opens with Dorf doing push-ups back-stage. Enter Redface Rodgers with a large stack of of EWT DVDS*
Redface:*almost tripping over Dorf* DUDE! What are you doing down there? I almost tripped over You!
Dorf: *Getting Up* Ahem, Sorry. What's with the DVDs?
Redface: Oh, Just some...eh, research. Hey, man *puts his stack of DVDs down* I heard about your friend. I'm Sorry, man, I feel for you.
*Dorf Looks un-comfortable, Redface continues*
Redface: And you've that Match at the Rumble, Right? Against psychoapeguy? Let me just tell you, I'm rootin' for you. And-
Dorf: *Changing The Subject* Hey, I Gotta go *points off-camera and attempts to exit*
Redface: Uh, Hold on *Hugs Dorf. Dorf is clearly uncomfortable* I'll catch you later. *Gathers his DVDs and exits*
*Dorf stands scratching his head as the camera fades to black*
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Post by Ultimo Chocula on Jan 25, 2007 14:27:02 GMT -5
(Backstage Dusty Rhodes is running is hefty polka dotted kiester over to the audio/video trailer in hopes of getting the scoop of the year.)
Dusty: "Hey there, folks! This is the AmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmericanDreamDuthtyRhodeth! Looky here! You done saw it! You done hear it! Dat sunuva gun Curly Long and Mithter Beeg! You hear dey music play during da match with Team LE-OH and Rathcall and Trunk! They music play and they don't come out! LE-OH pick up they sneaky ween when Rathcall done got dis-tract-ed, you unnersan'! They playin' dem mind games, Jack! Now I gonna talk to dat Curly and see what his next move ees! Curly! You in dat trailah?"
(The trailer door opens up and it's......................you know. You saw the avatar to the left. Yeah, it's me. SWERVE!)
Dusty: "Who dat? Whass? Mugga? Wha? You ain't Curly!"
UC: "That's right, big stuff!
Dusty: "Ul-Tee-Mo! You done cost Rathcall and Trunk da match!"
UC: "Hold it! Hold it! They blew that match themselves! I just gave 'em a little heads up, that's all. That was almost too easy. This must be how Bugs Bunny feels all the time."
Dusty: "Ha! Ha! Ha! You play dat "Movin' On Up" and Rathcall done get flustered! I love it! I love it!"
UC: "Well, I can't take all the credit. It was a group effort."
(The camera pans inside the trailer to see The Daryl Dragon and PsyToni Tennille at the control board with a Casio keyboard wired into it.)
Tennille: "Hi Dusty! It's good to see you!"
Dragon: "How many hats does it take to screw in a light bulb? Six!"
Tennille: "Don't forget to come to our pre-Pain In The Ass Rumble Tupperware party!"
(The camera pans back to Dusty and UC at the door of the trailer.)
UC: "Here's the skinny, pops! The Captain and I, we're aiming to take the tag team titles and we're not about to have any old shlubs get in line ahead of us! Not Ricketts and Truck! Not Curly Fries and the umberhulk! Not the Probably Really Bored! Not the Road Warriors! Not the Freebirds! Not the Road Warriors! But the Ultimo Dragon! Our mission is to *BEEP!* with the noodles of every single tag team that think that they got the right to challenge for the straps ahead of us, and judging by the results so far, Mission Accomplished! Now if you'll excuse us we're going to tape an old episode of Sanford and Son over the Lashley vs Test match from last Tuesday."
(With that UC heads back in the trailer and slams the door. The camera cuts away before "American Dream" can play. Sorry. No dancing this week.)
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Post by SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman on Jan 25, 2007 15:11:20 GMT -5
*Mysth can be seen a few meters from Toomi' s office. Thinking*
Mysth : Hmm... The Royal Pain In The Ass Rumble... that' s one crappy name for a PPV, but it sure would be a great opportunity for me... there will be almost everybody from the roster, so I' ll be able to know more about what I must expect in this fed...
...and what a great chance for me to show off my skills and prove that I' m the next big thing here, and my God... if... if I WON the Rumble ! MAN ! Now THAT would be great, and no one could even THINK of doubting my capabilities ! That would be my stairway to success !!
Plus... there' s the Toolshed Championship match I' m booked for... woa... I MUST win this match, and enter the ring with a title... and leave it with another one !! OH YEAH ! THAT' S GONNA BE AWESOME !!
*Mysth burts into Toomi' s office, kicking the door in the process.*
Mysth : TOOMI !!
Toomi : Hey !! What do you think you' re...
Mysth : AT ROYAL PAIN IN THE ASS RUMBLE, YOU' LL HAVE A NEW TOOLSHED CHAMP AND A NEW KING !!
*Mysth signs up and strongly puts the pen back down.*
Mysth : and that' s me, that' s Mysth, the Darkness in the Light !
*Mysth gets out of the office while Toomi just stares at him.*
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