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Post by Deleted on Jan 25, 2007 17:22:13 GMT -5
*Camera cuts to the stage.*
Finkel: The following contest is a tag team match, and is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first--
*TJT arrive onto the stage in their Jaguar after "Livin' Like Royalty" is cued. Wearing their trademark outfits, shades and jewelry, they jump out of the car and begin making their way to the ring. Thunder and Jupiter are showing off their luxuries to the crowd, Terina between the two. The crowd is booing loudly at the three.*
Fink: --Being accompanied by Terina, from San Diego, California, at a total combined weight of 486 pounds, T...J...T!
*When they reach the ring, Jupiter and Thunder slide in from opposite sides. Terina walks to the apron, and sits down. Jimmy and Jason proceed to reach over the ropes, each man grabbing one of Terina's hands and pulling her up. The two guys open up the gap between the top and middle ropes. Terina climbs in. She makes a hand gesture directing them to adjacent turnbuckles, which Jim and jason climb up. The two make hand motions outlining invisible title belts. The men climb back down and take off their entrance gear.*
*Suddenly, the lights go out, and "We Die Young" immediately begins to play*
Fink: And their opponents, from PARTS UNKNOWN...being accompanied by Wraith.....Ghost Face and Corpse of the Draugr!
*It is still pitch black. The sound of footsteps are then heard in the ring. The lights go back on, and all three members of TJT are facing the entrance ramp. A few feet behind them are the Draugr. Wraith makes a pointing motion towards Thunder and Jupiter, and jumps out of the ring. Almost in unison, Jimmy, Jason, and Terina turn around, ever so slowly, and facing them are Corpse and Ghost Face. Terina shrieks in terror, and Jupiter and Thunder are in a catonic state of shock.*
*Corpse and Ghost Face, staring right at their adversaries, let of a few guttural snarls, and at that, after looking back at one another, Jimmy and Jason rush at the two. Terina beats a hasty retreat from the interior of the ring, while Jupiter runs towards Corpse, who instantly begin to brawl, trading shots back and forth. Thunder charges at Ghost face, who is standing at the ropes, but quickly gets tossed outside. With Thunder out, Jupiter gets double teamed by the Draugr, recieving a series of punches and kicks to bring him down, followed by stomps after hitting the mat. When this happens, however, Ghost Face exits the ring and goes to the apron, standing at the corner closest to Wraith.*
*With Jupiter now down, Corpse quickly goes for the pin.*
1...
2...
*Jupiter powerfully kicks out, pushing Corpse a few feet back. Jason slowly gets to his feet, but Corpse returns, striking Jupiter with a few more blows, and whips him into the ropes. As Jupiter rebounds, Corpse puts his head down, waiting to do a back body drop, but Jupiter counters with a swinging neckbreaker. Jupiter picks himself back up, grabs Corpse by the legs, and drags him over to TJT's corner, Thunder now there, and makes the tag.*
*With Corpse still being held by the legs Jupiter lets go of one, but Thunder quickly grabs it. Standing on opposite sides of Corpse while holding his legs, they each yank the two legs away from each other, Corpse wincing from the sudden, sharp pain. Thunder uses this opportunity to take advantage of the immobilized Corpse, delivering a few leg stomps for good measure, and placing a choke onto his adversary. The ref begins the count.*
1...
2...
3...
4...
*Thunder quickly breaks the hold, and makes the tag back to Jupiter. Enter Jason, exit Jimmy. With Corpse still down, Jupiter runs into the ropes, bounces back, and attacks the head with a leaping knee drop. As he goes to pick Corpse up however, he gets literally blindsided with a rake to the eyes. Corpse, with a chance at landing a big move and turning things around, picks up Jason and executes a high-impact tilt-a-whirl slam. Having gained some momentum, Corpse shakes off the pain in his leg and makes the tag to Ghost Face, and departs from the inside of the ring, standing on the apron. Jupiter, however, is crawling over to Thunder in the meantime, and tags Thunder, who enters mere seconds after Ghost Face.*
*With two fresh men in the ring, things pick up fast. Thunder makes a blind run and Ghost face, but finds himself on the recieving end of a drop toe-hold. Ghost face quickly flips to Thunder's head and puts him in a crossface for about 20 seconds. Thunder, being the more powerful of the two, manages to eventually power out of hit, but Ghost Face converts this into a side headlock. Almost as quickly as it is placed on, Thunder pushes Ghost face into the ropes, and nails him with a wheel kick. He goes for the cover.*
1...
2...
*Kickout by Ghost Face, who manages to avoid an attempted elbow drop from Jimmy just moments after the pin attempt. Ghost Face gets back to his feet, only slightly shaken, and takes Thunder down by the legs with a low running dropkick. He goes for a standing moonsault, and successfully lands it.*
1...
2...
*Thunder somehow kicks out, but as soon as he brings himself up, he finds himself back down on the mat with a leaping headscissors takedown by Ghost Face.*
*Guessing that Ghost Face is going for a pin, Terina climbs the apron and distracts the ref, as well as Wraith and Corpse who are suprised at her plan. Before they turn around, Jupiter gets to his corner's turnbuckle and torpedo dropkicks Ghost Face as he turns around to go get the ref's attention away from Terina. Upon doing so, he gets back up, helps Jimmy to his feet, and they initiate the setup for Thunder has Struck on Jupiter.*
*Holding onto a steel chair, Axel sprints out of the back, dashing down the ramp and into the ring. He clocks Jimmy with the chair, and Ghost Face is dropped. At this, Jupiter turns around, and also gets a taste of cold steel. Unfortunately for the Draugr, the ref turns around after Thunder is hit, and seeing Axel hit Jupiter, motions for the timekeeper to ring the bell. Terina manages to drag her two men out of the ring, luckily for TJT, as the Draugr surround Axel, all three of them furious, standing on sides of the ring(except the side leading straight to the ramp.*
Finkel: Here are your winners, as the result of a disuqalification, T...J...T! *Accompanied by boos.*
*Axel looks back and forth between the three ghouls, his chair ready to strike but as soon as he sees the three motion towards the ring, drops the chair and rolls out. He then walks backward down the ramp, facing the Draugr, who are still in the ring. He apparently mutters something, but with the microphone too far from his mouth, his voice isn't audible.*
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,390
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Jan 25, 2007 19:27:58 GMT -5
Fade in on the EWT Arena as Singapore Caine is standing in the ring, holding his cane in the air proudly as his theme song plays in the background.
Chimel: THe following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Singapore, China, this is SINGAPORE CAINE!!
"Do You Wanna Be A Hero?" fades out befroe being replaced by Black Label Society's "Fire It Up" as the lights go blue and green. After the long intro, the song fades into "Dying is Easy, LIving is Hard" as the lights change to red and black. Out comes Chris Evans, looking different, but still full of energy. Evans slides into the ring and grabs a mask from his pocket before tossing it out to the crowd. Evans hops down and removes his shirt before preparing for the match.
Chimel: And his opponent, weighing in at 213 lbs., from Atlanta, Georgia, Chris Evans!!
Chris nods his head in approval before facing Caine, pumped up for the match.
-----Ding Ding Ding!-----
Evans makes the first move, hitting a Spinning Wheel Kick knocking Caine of his feet. Evans quickly follows it up with a Red Star Press, and completing the combo with a spinning leg drop. Evans pops up and grabs Caine by the hair, pulling him up. Evans tries to Break The Fourth Wall, but Caine grabs the leg and pushes it down before unleashing a brutal right, knocking Evans silly. Caine follows it up with a clothesline before hitting a knee drop across Evans throat. Caine grabs Evans' right leg and grabs his head, no doubt looking for "The Singapore Silencer". Caine gets close until Evans' left leg connects with Caine's ass, knocking him forward. Evans quickly rolls Ciane up in a pin....
1....
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3....No, kick out. Evans pops up and manages to avoid another clothesline before hooking him in a Russian Leg Sweep-type position. Evans looks to go for the sweep, but changes it at the last minute and connects with the Man Walking, knocking the air out of Caine. Evans grabs Caine and looks to go for the Shirunai, but Caine blocks it and hits a modified Singapore Face Lift, causing Evans to collide teeth-first with the top turnbuckle. Ouch.
Caine gets a devilish smile on his face and hits a Ghetto Stomp right on Evans' back, causing him to scream in pain. Caine stays on and grabs the legs before locking in the Singapore Spinal Tap, causing Evans more pain. Evans is in agony, and somwehow manages to push himself up. Evans straightens his legs and flings Caine off out to the mat as Evans holds his back in pain. Caine gets up and starts to go in when Evans connects with a baseball slide right to Caine's face. Caine stumbles a bit as Evans runs to the ropes and comes back, flying over the top rope and hits a beautiful flying hurricanrana, sending Caine to the barricade. Evans posp up and slides Caine back in before hitting the Tope from the apron. Evans makes the "cut-throat" motion and grabs Caine before hitting the Killquick, knocking him out. EVans goes for the pin....
1....
2....
3.....!!
-----Ding Ding Ding!-----
Chimel: Here is your winner, Chri-
Evans es the mike from Chimel's hands.
Evans: What did I tell you about grabbing MY microphone?! Now, the winner of the match, like there was ANY doubt, not Chris Evans, but D**dpool!!
D**dpool drops the mike and slides out of the ring as we fade to a commercial for the Royal Pain in the Ass Rumble.
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Post by crauswell on Jan 26, 2007 1:39:46 GMT -5
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen... the following contest is a Scaffold Tables Match for the EWT Ox Division Championship!
Broken Wings starts up as the crowd boos, the champion heading down to the ring, Ox Division Title around his waist, as he heads down to the ring, clutching a table slung over each arm, walking with little difficulty down the aisle.
Announcer: Introducing first, from Parts Unknown, weighing in at 272 pounds... he is your EWT Ox Division Champion... Crauswell!!!
The crowd boos in response to this as the champion slides each table into the ring, hops up and climbs in after, looking above the ring where the scaffold is set. He removes his belt, dropping to both knees and holding it high, before quickly rising back up and exiting the ring, walking over to the timekeepers table and gently placing it there, glaring at anyone else trying to touch it as he returns to the ring, immediately setting up his two tables as he awaits the challenger.
Next up, Galvanize by the Chemical Brothers pumps out on the Toomitron as the crowd goes nuts, Spyke Johanson dancing his way down to the ring!
Announcer: And introducing the challenger, from Stockholm Sweden, weighing in at 223 pounds, The Swedish Dancemaster Spyke Johanson!
Spyke has wisely kept Cook backstage for this match, as he hops into the ring as well, looking at the furry on the other side, as both men walk over to a ladder, slowly climbing up either side to the top of the scaffold overhead. The two look at each other quite closely, knowing that this is not gonna be a pretty bout. The bell rings and the immediately meet in the center, exchanging forearms for a bit, neither man gaining an advantage. They quickly switch to chops, battering each other's chests rapidly, but again to no avail. Spyke backs off for a bit, trying something risky, snapping off a picture perfect Dropkick! Crauswell gets hit, stumbling back a bit, as Spyke charges forward, looking for another, which easily gets slapped away, Spyke luckily not getting slapped off the scaffold! he quickly gets back up, as Crauswell meets him with a nasty European Uppercut, sending him stumbling back. He follows with a stiff throat throat, following that with a few knife edge chops. Spyke gasps in pain as the Champion then grabs him, driving him into the scaffold itself with a Stroke like move. He then grabs his skull, ramming it viciously into the thing, as Spyke struggles to regain his focus. Crauswell however refuses to give, driving Johanson's head over and over again, until eventually he stops himself with a palm, nailing Crauswell with some quick fists to the beak, as he regains a vertical base, now hitting Crauswell with a flurry of strikes, as he backs him up near the edge, rearing back with a vicious shuffle side kick, this enough to nearly topple the champion, who quickly regains his balance. Johanson charges, only to get a Back Body Drop, as Crauswell moves away from the edge, thinking Spyke hit the mat by now. However Johanson managed to grab the edge, quickly climbing back up, charging and bulldogging the furry right into the scaffold!
The champion groans, clutching at his face now as Spyke quickly takes advantage, dropping some swift knees into the spine of his opponent. then sitting him up and snapping off a dropkick, doing further damage. Crauswell groans, clutching at the area now as Spyke kips up, then driving another boot into the back of Crauswell's skull as he gasps in pain. Johanson then lifts him up, trying for a suplex as the crowd cheers, a table waiting right below. However the champion blocks it, countering with some stiff shots to the gut, as he backs up again, clutching his skull. Johanson once again charges, right into an STO! His head bounces hard off the scaffold as Crauswell crawls to the side, letting forth an endless barrage of forearms, before yanking Spyke up by his hair, shoving him back and connecting with a nasty roundhouse! Spyke stumbles back, landing downed for now... as the furry looks to the canvas below, walking over and climbing down the scaffold! The crowd boos as it seems the furry is a coward, but instead... he takes the two tables he brought, setting one up directly below each one of the ladders leading up! He looks quite satisfied, as he once again ascends the ladder, walking back to a now rising Spyke, who clutches his skull, aiming a second savate kick, this one sending Spyke stumbling back, as Crauswell then charges, driving a knee right into the chest! As Spyke's hunched over, the furry slams him face first once again into the platform. He then raises his boot, grinding Johanson's poor face into the scaffold as he groans in pain, the furry not letting up for a second. He instead pulls Spyke up by an Arm, right into an High Angle Spinebuster Position! He walks around on the scaffold, showing his power, before making his way towards one of the tables, as he plans to send him hurtling through it!
Crauswell reaches back,, but Spyke once again fights out, connecting with a rapid fire series of punches directly to the skull, loosening Crauswell's grip. He then lets forth some swift forearms to the back area again, before quickly pulling Crauswell across his knee for a snap Backbreaker! The crowd cheers as Johanson backs away from the scaffold area, taking a quick breather, as he checks his forehead for blood. As he does so... Crauswell rises up a bit dazed. Johanson immediately charges forward, nailing a dropkick to the face, sending him hurtling down towards the table!
But Crauswell manages to grab a rung during his descent, probably looking quite relieved. He looks back up towards Johanson, who can't believe it. He immediately runs over to the edge, as Crauswell climbs back up, blocking his path by stomping on one of his hands, as the furry gacks, quickly climbing down back to the ring, as Johanson grins, cockily walking over to the other side as Crauswell sure enough tries this way, only to get yet another hand stomping. The furry quickly climbs back down again, as he looks annoyed, angrily stomping the mat, before rolling out of the ring, grabbing a steel chair. He quickly reenters, teasing one way, then chucking the chair right at Johanson's face, who quickly ducks as it goes right over his head... Crauswell using this distraction to climb up the ladder and the scaffold once again. Spyke turns around, just in time to catch a charging champion with a drop toe hold, as he now gives him a taste of his own medicine, repeatedly driving the furry's skull into the scaffold, as the crowd counts along. After nine of them, Crauswell has had enough, blocking the intended tenth, then assaulting Spyke with some swift blows to the stomach. They both rise up to a Vertical base, once again resuming swinging wildly at each other. Suddenly Spyke catches Crauswell with an uppercut, dazing him for a bit, as he looks to the crowd, looking for the SwedeDT atop the scaffold! Crauswell instinctively throws Spyke off in mid move though, but Johanson lands on his feet, countering with a blind Gamengiri, hitting Crauswell in the side of the skull as the crowd cheers again, Spyke quickly gets back up, pointing down to one of the tables, as he yanks the furry up, somehow managing to lift him up into the air for a Powerbomb! He charges towards one side of the ladder!
Suddenly Cassinova attacks from behind!, Spyke dropping Crauswell before he can finish the match. The crowd boos angrily as Cassinova looks quite smug, as he lays Spyke out with an Edge-o-matic, driving him into the scaffold. He quickly scales down, dragging two table towards the center of the ring, as he looks back up, quickly running back over and scaling the ladder, as he walks over to a downed Spyke, lifting him up high, then sending him hurtling towards the tables below with a powerbomb!
The tables both explode from the force of the move as Spyke lays in a heap below, the bell signaling to end the match. The crowd boos angrily, now chanting "wax you Cass!" in unison, as Cassinova grinds wide, very pleased with his actions.
Announcer: The winner of the match... and still EWT Ox Division Champion... Crauswell!!!
Crauswell is back up now, looking at Cassinova, who backs up a bit, seeing him and lunging out, looking for a Beak Buster to the number one contender, only for the fresher Cass to easily break it with a kick, as he quickly lifts him high, driving him into the scaffold with the Splitting Headache! The furry groans, now instinctively rolling off the side, unfortunately crashing hard into the mat. The crowd boos a bit more, though it's kind of mixed now as Cassinova quickly scales the ladder, walking over and looking down at both men, now down in a heap. Square Dance immediately starts up as Cassinova exits the ring, walking over and grabbing the Ox Division belt, holding it up for everyone to see as the crowd boos louder in reply. He then tosses it into the ring, before quickly exiting, Spyke and Crauswell pretty much motionless.
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Post by Marksus on Jan 26, 2007 2:37:00 GMT -5
Camera pans down a street in a run down neighbourhood, the homeless sit under cardboard a few barely dressed ladies stand on corners watched by eagle-eyed pimps. A neon sign erupts into the darkness,
'ADULTS ONLY'
Inside Mutilated is browsing the BDSM section, standing at 6'6" his head brushes the chains and rubber male appendages hanging above. Mutilated: People ask me what makes me tick? Well this is what! He raises his arms the camera shows random shots of gimp masks, ball gags and spreader bars among other 'paraphernalia' Mutilated: I'm here today to get myself motivated for 'The Royal Pain In The Ass Rumble, it sounds like my kind of thing. He picks up a large 'plug' and studies it. RPITAR maybe a big match to all you wimps and conformist but to me a bunch of sweaty people covered in baby oil, enjoying inflicting pain on each other and being beaten around the ring, sounds like a normal night out to me.
He picks up a rubber tool and slams it into his palm, making an audible smack I always outlast the competition and on this occasion i aim to come first then go on to win the EWT title.
He walks to a heavy grey curtain with a sign above 'WARNING ONLY FOR THOSE WITH STRONG STOMACHS. PREGNANT WOMEN AND THOSE WITH A HEART CONDITION MAY NOT ENTER HERE. NO CAMERAS' Mutilated: I've got to get to a training session and judging by the look of you i don't think you up to joining in. Remember if it don't hurt you're not doing it right. As Mutilated steps around the curtain distant screams are heard. Fade
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Boku AKA Da Green Guy
El Dandy
WC's Resident Pirate Otaku and Official Scapegoat
Always and Forever, Hurricane.
Posts: 8,371
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Post by Boku AKA Da Green Guy on Jan 26, 2007 4:33:41 GMT -5
*Fade in from commercial.* Cole: And we are back from the break... The carnage from the ring has been clean up. And both Crauswell & Spyke Johanson have been taken to the back, little is known about their condition at this time.... JBL: I'm all for sending messages but that was a bit much from Cassinova. Cole: Right you are, partner. *suddenly the speaker system and the crowd comes to life with the music of Cryme Tyme.* www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2YkM5hhtPY*JTG quickly steps out of the entrance curtain, holding his hat and doing his jive steps. Shad follows, holding his belt buckle from time to time.* Lillian: The following tag team match is for one fall, making their way to the ring... From Brooklyn, NY... Weighting in at 517... Cryme Tyme! *They reach the ring, and go to opposite turnbuckles. JTG places on foot on the top and one on the middle, then crosses his arms. Shad does a simple arm raise. They both step down and JTG goes to the ropes. He wraps his body between the middle and top ropes to do more of his dancing. They both go to their corner and take off their bling & head accessories. Their music fades out.* Cole: What do you make of this team John? JBL: The less said the better. Cole: What do you make of the next team making their debut match then? JBL: I think Axel got a raw deal. The young man is a great talent with the potential to be a huge star in EWT but he's stuck with an idiot... Sort of like me. Cole: Gee thanks. *“Young, Dumb, & Ugly” by Weird Al begins to play over the speakers.* www.youtube.com/watch?v=-M3g_HvYg0k*Jobby immediately runs out, full of energy. He waves to every one and runs from the right side to the left of the stage pointing to crowd members. At the 0:27 mark, he runs back in the middle of the ramp and at the 0:32 mark, Axel Halaway takes his first steps from out of the curtains. Jobby holds his hand out and Axel stares at it. Then sighs.* Lillian: And from Jobstown, NJ & Modesto, CA respectively... Weighting in at 498... "The Wrestle Posse"! Tenacious J! *Axel leans in like Jobby, grabs his hand, and points at Jobby.* Lillian: And A! *Jobby gives a cheesey grin and gives a thumbs up.* JBL: And that's what I'm talking about. Cole: Oh come on! He's just having fun! JBL: Like Vee-to's having fun?! You're too liberal Cole, that's why I hate you! Cole: Well anyways, the crowd seems to love Jobby. JBL: I hate them too. *Axel walks down the ramp, trying to eye his opponents behind his shades but Jobby breaks his "coolness" by running around him in a circle. He stops and stares at Jobby who runs side to side to high five crowd members. They reach the ring. Axel goes inside the ropes and climbs the nearest turnbuckle, he waits for cheers but gets none as the crowd is focused on Jobby. Who is running around the ring doing a fast version of the Egyptian dance. Axel then does his now trademark wave off and steps down. He takes off his jacket and pass it to the attendant. Jobby rolls into the ring, near Cryme Tyme, and shakes offers to shake both of their hands. They look at him, look at each other, and bust a gut laughing at him. Jobby walks to behind Axel. Axel slowly reaches up and takes his glasses off, his brown eyes seeming to look at Cryme Tyme as if they were TJT then hands them off to the same attendant. The music ends.* Cole: The eyes tell the story of Axel Halaway. JBL: The man carries himself like an Icon. Those eyes are perfect indication of that. You know right now that he's, in his mind, already beaten these clowns and readying himself for a inevitable match with TJT. Cole: What does Jobby's eyes say? JBL: That he was dropped on his head as a child... Many times. *The bell sounds and Axel decides to start for his team. Big Shad steps out to meet him in the ring. Axel, being only 6'1", barely reaches Shad's chin. Shad takes a second to point out to the crowd the height difference, which sparks some small laughter. Axel smiles for a second then rears back and socks Shad hard in the mouth. Shad takes a few steps back opening himself up for an Irish Whip. Axel waits for Shad to come back, only to have his clothesline miss. Axel barely turns around before Shad rebounds off the ropes and levels him with a boot.* Shad: BOOM! Cole: Boot to the SKULL! JBL: Can't you ever say "face" or "head"? Cole: ... *Axel is flat on his back as Shad gives him a few stomps. He picks up Axel and gives him an Irish Whip of his own. Axel rebounds off the ropes as Shad lowers his head for a Back Body Drop. Only for Axel to hit his Running Super Kick on the Big Shad.* Axel: BOOM! *Shad stumbles back and falls, back on the second rope. Axel runs and jumps to hit a Dropkick to the sitting Shad, only Shad moves to the right and tags JTG in. Axel ends up bouncing off the ropes and to the mat. JTG takes advantage of this and locks a Side Headlock on the fallen Axel. Despite the pressure being placed on him, Axel makes it to his feet and gives JTG two Elbow Shots in the stomach before lifting him up for a Back Suplex. It hits and the ref starts counting.* 1 2 3 4 *Axel makes it to his feet and grabs a hold of JTG's head to pull him up. Axel sets up for a Suplex right next to the ropes and bounces JTG off the top rope to hit a rope assisted Suplex. He stands at points at Shad, then proceeds to stomp JTG repeatedly on the head and shoulder area in an Austin-like frenzy.* Axel: BOOM! *Stomp* BOOM! *Stomp* BOOM! Cole: It appears he's getting under the skin of one Shad. JBL: Ha! I like it! He's showing the big man a taste of his own medicine! *Axel then calmly leans on the ropes right to JTG and makes a slight jog before hitting a Jumping Knee Drop to JTG's head. Axel then grinds his elbow into the face of JTG, again working on his head.* JBL: He's picked a body part out and is slowly weakening it. This man deserves more than the "Wrestle Posse". Cole: I was going to ask you what you thought of their name. JBL: Frankly, I'm embarrassed that I just used that term. I can't imagine having to been known as one half of the "Wrestle...Posse." *Axel, finished with his cheap plastic surgery attempt, helps JTG to his feet and again attempts a Suplex. But this time it's reversed and Axel lands hard on the mat. JTG makes for the big Shad while Axel holds his back.* Cole: Axel should really think about tagging in the fresh man Jobby. JBL: I think I understand what Axel's trying to do... He knows that with or without Jobby, it's still a handicap match. So he's just trying to win the match. Cole: But he's running the risk of losing the match by this! JBL: He's damned either way. Best try to make his name credible and not a laughing stock, which is more than I can say for his partner! *Shad reaches Axel and hits a Scoop Slam. He lowers his face down to Axel's.* Shad: BOOM! *He then runs to the ropes and hits a leg drop on Axel.* Cole: HE'S GOING FOR THE PIN! ........1 ..........2 ....... *Axel kicks out. Shad, showing a hint of disappointment, picks up Axel and throws him to the turnbuckle perpendicular to Jobby's corner. Shad then charges forward, aiming to hit Axel. Yet, Axel dodges as Shad hits the turnbuckle and runs towards the ropes next to Jobby. As he bounds off the ropes, Jobby makes a blind tag. The cheers erupt from the crowd and Jobby enters the ring. Before Axel can hit Shad, the referee stops him in mid-run to tell him he's been tagged out. The look on his face is priceless as Jobby almost skips to Shad. Axel is forced to his corner, although he welcomes the break, he fears that his serious attempt at a win was all for naught.* Cole: And now the two biggest men in the ring meet! JBL: Too bad one of them is a damn fool. *Jobby pushes Shad against the rope and goes to Irish whip him... Only to have Shad hold the top rope and Jobby land face first on the mat. Cheering and laughter is heard.* Cole: *chuckles* See John? The crowd loves his guy! JBL: SEE! This is what Axel was trying to prevent! Look at him on the apron! He's almost trying to hide his shame from these stupid antics! *Shad looks at the fallen Jobby and shrugs to JTG. He starts to walk to JTG to tag in but Jobby grabs his leg and causes him to fall. Again the crowd bursts with laughter. Jobby gets up and grabs the right leg of Shad. He places a Deathlock on Shad's leg, really locking it in. Jobby gets up and points to the ropes, to cheers, then runs to them. Axel, actually pleased with Jobby's work, cheers him on. Yet his cheers fall short when Jobby trips flat on his face again. Axel hangs his head in shame. Shad and Jobby make it to their feet at the same time. Shad looks at Jobby, upset that he is being somewhat shown up by this goofy fool, and they lock up. It's looking like Jobby is not going to win the exchange but shocks everyone with a quick turn into a Belly-To-Belly Suplex.* Cole: OH MY! JBL: NOW THAT'S IMPRESSIVE! *Jobby panders to the crowd. Letting Shad recover and crawl to JTG.* JBL: Now see that's the problem with Jobby! Any advantage he gains, he quickly gives it away to please the crowd! He's never going to win that way! It's no wonder his partner is ashamed of him! Cole: Oh he's just having fun! JBL: But having fun isn't what championships are about! It's about wins! *JTG runs to tackle the distracted Jobby, however, he ends up in a Belly-To-Belly Suplex just like his partner. Jobby holds JTG in place as he tags in the eager Axel. They whip JTG to the ropes, Axel moves closer to the middle of the ring and gives a Drop Toe Hold to JTG. Just at the same time, Jobby hits JTG with a hard Shoulder Tackle.* Cole: THEY JUST HIT THE ROYAL SEAL! JBL: Now that's teamwork! *Shad runs in to protect his fallen tag partner but is met by a Double Shoulder Tackle from The Wrestle Posse. The referee calls for Jobby to return to the ring post, which he does, and Axel gives a smug look to the referee as he tags Jobby back in. Just then, “Living Like Royality” plays on the speakers and Terina enters from the crowd. The referee tries in vain to brush his comb over and again tries to “prevent her from entering”. Axel, like a mad man, lingers in the ring looking for the other members of TJT.* Cole: IT'S THOSE DAMN TJT AGAIN! JBL: Hey, Axel interfered in their match... Turnabout is fair play. *Jobby, not affected by the distraction attempt, tosses Shad to his corner and then goes back to JTG. Axel then walks to meet with Terina, he grabs the referee and tells him to focus back on the match. As he grabbed the referee, she trips off the apron. Axel, despite himself, worries for her safety and leans out from the ropes to ask if she's okay. As he does this, Thunder crawls out from under the ring with a Champagne bottle. He uses Axel's chivalry as the perfect opening as he breaks the bottle over Axel's left eye. Axel's body goes limp and he falls through the ropes to land on the outside. Thunder stares at the bloodied Axel almost as an artist would stare at his masterpiece then raises the broken bottle outside the ring to a loud chorus of boos.* Cole: OH MY GOD! AXEL'S BEEN COMPLETELY KNOCKED OUT! JBL: TJT have struck again, this time drawing blood. I dare say they are winning this war, Cole! *The referee, being as deaf as he is blind, doesn't notice the loud glass shattering and continues with watching over the match. Jobby, of course, hears the shattering and looks for Axel. As he is distracted, Shad kicks him hard in the stomach and lifts in up to his shoulders. JTG quickly runs off the ropes and aids Shad in hitting their tag move the G9. Shad pins Jobby as JTG looks for Axel to prevent him from entering, but sees there's no need.* Cole: NOT THIS WAY!!! .......1 ..........2 .............3! *“BROOKLYN, BROOKLYN!” blares over the speakers.* Lillian: And your winners...Cryme Tyme... Cole: DAMMT! JBL: This TJT group are brilliant! Even when they interfere, they make sure their target loses the match! Cole: THAT'S NOT BRILLIANT, THAT'S CHEATING! JBL: It's not cheating if nobody sees you do it. *The crowd doesn't know whether to cheer or not, but they boo as Jupiter comes down the ramp to meet his stable members. TJT meet at the ramp and they each raise two fingers to the slow rising Jobby.* Thunder: That's two times... Terina: That We've... Jupiter: Got the better of you! *Jobby sees on the Toomitron the image of his partner bloodied and out cold. For the first time, he looks at TJT with a look of anger as he holds his head. Shad and JTG, seeing the damage done by TJT, check on Jobby and help him to his feet. To much cheers. They then lead him to where Axel is laying.* Cole: One of these days, The Wrestle Posse Tenacious J & A will get their revenge! JBL: Not if TJT are ready for them! *The camera focuses on Axel's blood covered face before it goes to commercial.*
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jan 26, 2007 8:33:17 GMT -5
*Camera cuts to a backstage area. Unlike most of EWT's backstage spots, this one is suprisingly luxurious, with a leather sofa, two nightstands, a lamp on each, and a coffee table. On the table is a stack of magazines and a bucket filled with ice. Sitting on the sofa are TJT, Terina sitting in the middle. Are in their non-wrestling gear.*
Thunder: Ladies and gentlemen--
Jupiter: Commoners of the world!
Thunder: --in case you DO NOT know what our show is called, let's just leave it at...er...what is it called?
Terina: Good question....what about "TJT Shoots Back?"
Thunder: I like it.
Jupiter: Reflective of our semi-dominant, retalitatory nature! Anyways...good name! So basically, everybody, what we do is we talk about whatever we feel like, and bestow upon all you worthless people the wisdom of gods!
Terina: And how can you resist that?
Thunder: They cannot! They just can't!
*Jupiter looks around for a bit, scratching his chin; trying to come up with something to discuss.*
Jupiter: Aha! Guys, we're still pretty fresh from the indies, but I gotta wonder how things are going since we left. They must be missing us!
Thunder: Really. Headliners like us made things so great over there. What are they to do now?
Jupiter: Ya know, good questions from both of us. Terina, you keep up with thing better than we do...
*She looks up at the cieling, trying to remember something.*
Terina: Yeah, I heard their shows are actually doing worse now.
Thunder: They must be having a hell of a time replacing us!
Terina: Though, from the last anyone told me, they have someone waiting to take the reigns we so carefully handed away. I mean, we gave warning of us leaving, and they blew it off.
Jupiter: Yeah, I remember that. They completely ignored us, and told us we still had a contract with them. Pfffffft.
Thunder: Their promoter was a dumbass. We told him about it. But what do we get? Treated like we're worthless. So, ya know, we just up and left.
Terina: I hear they're still feeling that one. There is one thing I miss, though.
Jupiter: What'd that be, babe?
Terina: The women's division.
Thunder: Ooh yeah, I remember you used to have some kickass matches with some of the women there. Not like the eye-candy they have in some feds.
Jupiter: You practically carried them--
Terina: Of course I did! *Giggles.*
Jupiter: --but hey, it was better than nothing.
Thunder: Yeah, I feel terrible for you. There is NOTHING for you now.
Jupiter: Why the hell did Toom can the division?
Terina: I know! I'm such a dominant force in the ring--
Thunder: One with some great looks, to add the icing to the cake!
Terina: --and I deserve waaay better than to just be your manager, boys. I love working with you, but I'd love nothing more than to lace up my boots, go in there, and kick some ass! *She smiles, feeling dominant.*
Jupiter: Now there's a thought. But I guess all of the bitches, I mean, "Girls next door" just didn't have the caliber to match up with your greatness.
Thunder: Damn, I'm thirsty.
Jupiter: And random is his middle name! *He points to Jimmy and all three laugh for a few moments.*
Terina: Well we would have been able to drink a bottle of champagne, but you had to break the bottle on Axel's head.
Thunder: Well, we have no drink, but that was classic work on my part.
Jupiter: Perfect clockwork, guys. You two did it great.
Thunder: You kow it! *All three laugh some more.*
Terina: Yeah, well, my looks, distracting the ref--
Thunder: Coupled with my sneaky skill--
Jupiter: And my cunning plan--
Terina: --proved that we three are the wave of success here in EWT.
Thunder: Damn straight! Hey, when'd we get this room?
Jupiter: When we bought it.
Thunder: We bought part of the arena?
Terina: Correction, Jimmy: we bought part of a bunch of arenas!
Thunder: I love money.
Terina: The best thing since us!
Jupiter: Exactly! We're the greatest of all time!
Thunder: Now all we need to do is keep up the good work. And get YOU in a match too, Terina.
Terina: Thanks boys.
Thunder: I'm still thirsty. I'm outta here; gotta get something to drink. Wanna come with?
Jupiter: Yeah!
Terina: Sure thing.
*As the three leave, Jupiter wals back and looks at the camera.*
Jupiter: This has been the first edition of "TJT Shoots Back," bitch!
*Turns the camera off.*
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Post by Redface: Dispenser of Justice on Jan 26, 2007 15:36:58 GMT -5
*The Shot opens with Sum Guy standing next to Redface*
S.Guy: Hi, I'm Sum Guy and I'm standing here with Redface Rodgers! Redface is a new-comer to EWT who is going to make his in-ring debut in the Royal Pain in the Ass Rumble! Redface, Did you know I'm going to be in the Rumble, too?
Redface:....I may have heard....
S.Guy: What have you been doing to prepare?
Redface: Well, knowing your opponent is key, so I've been watching old EWT DVDs, and...
*Redface feels a presence behind him. He turns around and is standing face to face with Ultimo Chocula.*
Ultimo: I don't think We've been properly introduced.
Redface: Can't say that we have.
Ultimo: I am UL-TI-MO CHOOOOOOOOOCULA! THE SUPER RADDEST OF 'EM ALL! AH! HA! HA! HA! HA!*Arms Extended Wide* And you are?
Redface: *Un-impressed* Redface Rodgers, The New Face of this business.
Ultimo: How nice for you. *Takes five dollars out of his tights* Here Sum Guy, go get yourself some candy or something. *Hands the money to Sum Guy*
Sum Guy: OKAY! *EXITS*
Ultimo: So you think you're gonna win the Rumble, Huh?
Redface: Refresh My Memory, When did I say I was Going to Win the Rumble?
Ultimo: You entered, Didn't cha? That must mean you think you got a chance, am I lying? You don't seem to have a whole lot of confidence there, Satchmo.
*Redface has a questioning look on his face. Ultimo smiles*
Ultimo: Confidence, my boy! That's why I think I'm gonna win the Rumble: I got The Kinds of Brains none of these other shlubs got.
Redface:...Right...soo...What's your point?
Ultimo: I was thinkin'. You're a great big guy, you look like you can toss 5 dudes over the top rope at once! And I'm smart, see? I bet I could get 5 dude to throw themselves over the top rope! I haven't seen you go yet but you look like you can crack a few heads. I look forward to seeing just what you can do.
Redface: what happens if we're the only two left?
Ultimo: Well, we settle things like Gentlemen. Whaddya say? *Extends hand*
*Redface looks at the hand, then at Ultimo. Ultimo Smiles*
Redface: I'll think about it. *exits*
Ultimo: That was rude.
*Ultimo has a Frustrated look on his face as the camera fades to black*
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The Line
Patti Mayonnaise
Real Name: Bumkiss. Stanley Bumkiss.
Peanut Butter & JAAAAAMMMM!
Posts: 36,698
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Post by The Line on Jan 26, 2007 17:20:06 GMT -5
*Backstage in the EWT Arena*
Sum Guy: We are standing here with Andy Duke
Andy Duke: Hey Guy.
Guy: So, would you like to explain your actions last week?
Duke: It had to be done. I brought in Deamon to do a service for me. Little do some people know, but Deamon helped me break into the business. He saw me working in some crummy bingo hall for stale hamburgers and flat cola. He knew that I had the skills, but I just was stuck in a dead-end promotion. He took me under his wing, and made me what I am today. And I'll never forget that. I felt as though I was the same thing was happening to me now here in EWT. I was gaining noteriety, but not really any succsess. I needed something to spark me. To inspire me. To push me off the cliff, so to speak. So I called him up, and we did each other a favor. I brought him back into the limelight, and he brought me along for the ride.
Guy: But Why?
Duke: In the past week, I've gotten phone calls, emails, text messages, IMs, Myspace Comments, Live Journal comments, and random people on the street all asking what you just asked. Its not because I hate EWT. Far from it. Its just EWT's time. EWT is like a loved grandfather. A family pet. No matter how much you love it, eventually you have to pull the plug on it! Eventually, you have to take it out pack and put a bullet in its head! The Cidal Squad is the helpful doctor guilty of assisted suicide! The Cidal Squad is the Colt .45, loaded with 1 single bullet, its barrel pressed against the head of EWT, cocked and ready to go! The Cidal Squad is the Future! The Cidal Squad...is FOREVER! HIJACK, KILL, RULE! The Cidal Code. 1 down, 2 to go.
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Post by pta on Jan 27, 2007 17:08:19 GMT -5
We return from commercial, just in time to see a view of the PTA Locker Room, as Principal Pain is seen behind his desk, sitting and simply looking down at it, as he seems to be composing his thoughts. Tyreese meanwhile is seen nearby as well, viewing a monitor and watching Benz's earlier match against Koda Kazar, as he thinks a bit.
Tyreese: Look at dis fool. Dressed from head ta toe in a ridiculous tear away outfit.
He now watches him unleashing right hands on Kazar, as he looks on with disgust.
Tyreese: And punches?! PUNCHES?! Man... dat isn't even real wrestling. Any nut can punch, any fool can swing his fists and win a match. I mean, sure... one of my jabs and I could knock any man silly. But that's why I don't do it... I'm not gonna stoop ta der level of unrefined barbarian warfare.
Pain glances up, raising his glasses a bit.
Pain: Hmmm, yes punches aren't the prettiest of moves, though I'll admit... I've been guilty of using them before. Then again, try as I may... I suppose I'm nowhere near a pure wrestler as you Tyreese. Simply watching that match against the zombie out there, I was mesmerized at how you kept him grounded. Not to mention the ending... where you made him tap like a child. What was that submission again?
Tyreese: Paradise Lock. Of course... I prefer ta call it Da Class Dismisser.
Pain: Ah yes... a fine name there. You see Tyreese, this is why I called you. This is why I specifically brought YOU into the EWT, because quite frankly... you're the only man skilled enough... and dignified enough to teach all of these ragamuffins in the back the art of true wrestling. The art of excellence in the ring, and the skill of at the same time... ruthlessness against all opponents.
Tyreese nods, as he turns around, looking back at the monitor as he wields a remote control, fast forwarding through the match. He now notices the two using kicks.
Tyreese: Bah... dis ain't kick boxing! Dis ain't karate mon. These two are an utter joke to the world of wrestling. If I wanted to kick something, I'd go play football or sometin like dat.
Pain chuckles a bit.
Pain: You truly are a PURE wrestler aren't you.
Tyreese: You know I am! Those punks in the back don't know it yet, but at da Royal Pain in De Ass Rumble... those twits are gonna all be pleadin for Mercy as I show them de true essence of wrestling... and chuck each sorry carcass of ders outta the ring!
Tyreese takes one last look at the monitor, where it shows Benz lose.
Tyreese: Well... least dat punk got what was comin to him.
Fade to next segment.
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Boku AKA Da Green Guy
El Dandy
WC's Resident Pirate Otaku and Official Scapegoat
Always and Forever, Hurricane.
Posts: 8,371
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Post by Boku AKA Da Green Guy on Jan 28, 2007 3:31:26 GMT -5
*Back from commercial, Axel is seen laying down with a bandage above his left eye. Sum Guy walks into view.*
Sum Guy: I'm Sum Guy and I'm happy that you are hurt!
*Axel painfully lifts his head slightly to see Sum Guy.*
Sum Guy: Serves you right!
*Axel just stares at Sum Guy, who sticks his tongue out and then mocks Axel.*
Sum Guy: NANANANA! HAHAHAHA-HA!
*Axel angrily rises to shut up Sum Guy.*
Sum Guy: YOU CAN'T CATCH ME!!!
*Sum Guy runs to the door to leave.*
Sum Guy: HAHAHA! I'm Sum Guy and-
SLAM!!!
*Sum Guy hits the door hard as Jobby McJobberston opens it. Jobby glances at the knocked out Guy before stepping over him.*
Jobby: How's the damage?
Axel: A few stitches.
Jobby: Can I do anything for you?
Axel: Nah, that was just what I needed. *indicating the fallen interviewer*
Jobby: What?
Axel: Nevermind. I take it TJT have already commented on this?
Jobby: ....
Axel: Naturally.
*There is an awkward slience before Toom E Dangerously walks in and over Sum Guy.*
Toom E: I see you're been given treatment.
Axel: *angrily* I seems I'm getting LOADS of "TREATMENT" lately.
*Toom E. smiles and brushes Axel's comment off.*
Toom E: Yes, I'm noticed. Not too many people are given Champagne by co-worke-
Axel: IS THERE A POINT TO THIS VISIT?!
*Jobby tries to calm Axel down and looks worried that Axel will be fired or something.*
Toom E: Yes, there is... It seems that I've overbooked a few people for the PPV... So I have an opening for you two-
Jobby: Really?! AWESOME!
Axel: Yeah, I'm shocked Boss... What is it?
Toom E: Don't interrupt me again and I will tell you.
*Axel and Jobby nod at each other.*
Axel: Alright, we're listening.
Toom E: The opening is for a pre-show event.
Jobby: A match?!
Axel: Pre-show match? ...alright I guess....
Toom E: WHAT?! With your injury? I wouldn't dare give you a match.
Axel: Seems to be a theme...
Jobby: If not a match then what?
*Toom E gives a snide grin.*
Toom E: I've booked you for autograph duty. Enjoy.
*Jobby breaks out in excitement while Axel looks mad enough to burst his stitches.*
Jobby: YAY!
Axel: ....great....
*Axel suddenly gets a thought.*
Axel: Who did we replace?
Toom E: TJT, but since they signed for the Rumble and you guys are doing nothing, I thought this works out well for everyone.
*Toom E walks out of the room and over Sum Guy.*
Jobby: I guess I'd better get my Quiet Riot Thermos for the autograph session!
*Jobby steps over Sum Guy as well and shuts the door. Sum Guy begins to stir. Axel looks very upset.*
Axel: ...I don't think I've ever been this down before... I feel like nothing right now will up lift my spirits...
Sum Guy: ....uh...Where am I...?
*The door swings open to hit Sum Guy in the face again, sending him rolling back and into a trash cash. Axel looks bewildered at the door.*
Jobby: I forgot to ask... Did you want a Thermos too?
Axel: *a slight smile breaking out* Nah... You done enough already for me anyway.
Jobby: *Not understanding* Oh.....Okay....
*The door shuts. And fade into commercial.*
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Post by Marksus on Jan 28, 2007 15:17:02 GMT -5
Tee shirt guy is on the ring firing RPITAR tee shirts into the crowd, he runs out and the audience boo's, he starts flipping them off. Benz and Mutilated storm the ring. Benz gets there first the tee shirt guy aims the gun at Benz thinking he is about to do a cliched comedy spot. Benz holds up his hands. The tee shirt guy ask for the crowds approval again they boo.
Mutilated blindsides the TSG with a hard clothesline. The crowd erupts The Tattooed Terror raises his hands high then makes a crunching motion over his knee. Benz leaps to the top rope as Mutilated lifts TSG's limp body into a torture rack then spins him through the air as he drops his back. TSG's spine audibly cracks over Muties knees then is dropped onto the mat face up. Mutilated: Benz get Down n Dirrrrty The crowd stand tumbling their hands to signal for Benz's 630 splash.
Benz springs high into the air spinning before crashing down on TSG.
Mutilated growls at the ring announcer and is rewarded with a microphone. Taking it in his gloved hand he raises it to his mputh. Pain...Tyreese.. just because you got lucky during your match with me don't make the mistake of thinking you're any good. My boy Benz will happily take you on, Mutilated passes the mic to Benz. Benz: Wha... Hold up hold up...Benz remember man we have a contract you don't do anything with my approval. A upper class pimp in a bright red suit and excessive jewellary flanked by a man mountain known as Tankstruts to the ring. hhhe climbs through the rope his bodyguard holds open. Champagne Dwayne Dealins: I understand these punks have dissed you but sort out the dollars before you go issuing challanges, Hey big M stay back under terms of your contract if you lay your hands on me you lose everything right down to your piercings. Now with that said, contracts pending my client has something to say. Benz tries to placate the irate Mutilated Benz: It's ok Mutie, i'll explain everything later. He turns to the camera. Pain... Tyreese... i don't care which one of you it, as soon as Toomi can arrange it is, i want one of you one on one but lets do it pinfall only no submissions, no DQ or countout. CDD: Call me my numbers on the screen CDD's number scrolls across the bottom of the screen. Cut to commercial.
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Ass Dan
King Koopa
Curious about extra lines
Have you seen me?
Posts: 12,259
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Post by Ass Dan on Jan 28, 2007 15:17:17 GMT -5
The sounds of Klepacki's 'Hell March' plays as boos are directed to Joe.
WE WANT WAR! WAKE UP!
Announcer: The following contest is schedualed for one fall. Introducing first, from Airstrip One, weighing in at 234 lbs., Joe One!
Flames blaze from the set as boos, and maybe a cup or two, are thrown at Joe. He walks up the steps of the ring and gets in the ring, staring at the entrance. After a lull, a poor Casio rendition of 'Real American' starts to play as the audience gets on their feet to cheer.
Announcer: And his opponent, from Venice Beach, California, by way of Cork, Ireland, weighing in at 209 lbs., Liam O'Neil!
O'Neil goes through the Hogan routine, with the air guitar, the poses, and the shirt tearing. This takes about two minutes. Finally, the ref starts the match.
*ding ding ding*
The crowd starts an 'O'Neil' chant as One puts his hand to his chin, thinking a thought of...something. One runs to O'Neil and gives him some right chops, and pulls a hip toss to him. One gives an elbow to the fallen O'Neil before trying the cover.
One!
And kickout. The audience cheers as One gives the look of deep thought. One puts O'Neil into a Camel Clutch, working on Liam's neck and chin. Liam grabs the ropes, and One lets go on the fourth count. One steps back until O'Neil is back on his feet before rushing him. However, O'Neil manages to lift Joe One and slam him out of the ring! The crowd cheers as O'Neil poses some more. One gets back in the ring almost as soon as he lands and takes out O'Neil's left knee. One quickly locks in the STF. However, O'Neil rolls over One, making a cover!
One!
Two!
And kickout, as fans in the stands give a collective sigh. Both Joe and Liam get up and circle each other before locking up. Liam kicks Joe in the leg with his left foot and give a hard chop to Joe's back. O'Neil gets One in the Ankle Lock, and Joe writers in agony. He somehow manages to escape after doing mule-kicking Liam in the jaw. After regaining composure, One gives a clothesline to O'Neil, buying him some time. He brings O'Neil to a seated position before locking in a Cobra Clutch. One gets O'Neil to his feet, still in the clutch, and gives him a Cobra Clutch bulldog. Joe makes the cover.
One!
Two!
And kickout, as the audience cheers. Joe has a small look of surprise on his face as Liam gets to the ropes. Sencing the moment, Joe comes to lay an big boot to Liam, but he catches Joe's leg. Hoping to turn lemons into lemonade, Joe tries an enzigiru, only for his other leg to be caught be Liam. One's head hits the mat as Liam turns about and gets One in Irish Shamrock Leaf! The crowd goes nuts, seeing what could be the end of Joe's winning streak! Joe shouts in agony and the audience chants 'Tap!'. Somehow, Joe manages the strenght to grab the ropes. Liam lets go of the hold, and as he looks the the weakened Joe One, starts Liaming up! As Joe turns around, he gets a finger in the face as Liam, as well as the audience, goes 'You!' Joe tries a punch, but Liam blocks, giving two punches, and Irish Whips Joe to eat a big boot! Liam runs to the ropes and...
Joe One rolls out of the way as Liam O'Neil tries an Atomic Leg Drop! The audience is in shock! Joe, hoping to get out of the match, locks on the Sleeper Hold. Liam tries his hardest, but to no avail, as he can't break the hold. He tries to get to the ropes, but Joe overpowers him and keeps O'Neil in the center of the ring. However, Liam refuses to tap! He tries his entire arsenal to get out of the hold, but he starts to fade. Eventually, he appears to pass out. The referee lifts O'Neil's arm, and it drops.
One!
The referee lifts O'Neil's arm, and it drops.
Two!
The referee lifts O'Neil's arm, and......
...it drops.
Three!
*ding ding ding*
The crowd is in shock.
Announcer: Here is your winner, Joe One!
Joe's arm is raised as he grabs his legs. He looks at the fallen O'Neill and, as the EMTs come, he tells them to 'tell me when he's okay'.
*PREVIEW OF THE RPITAR, THEN COMMERCIALS*
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Post by crauswell on Jan 28, 2007 21:39:58 GMT -5
As we return from commercials, we see a replay of the sick move from Cassinova earlier, when he blatantly knocked both Spyke Johanson and the Ox Division Champion, Crauswell, off the scaffold.
We then cut to what you didn't see... as during the commercial break after this match, Crauswell is seen hobbling backstage, clutching desperately at his spine in pain, but still holding the Ox Division belt, barely by the strap as he groans in pain.
We cut to outside Crauswell's locker room, as EWT's most obscure employee lately is seen standing by.
Hoss Matthews: Hello everyone... this is Hoss Matthews. I'm currently standing outside the locker-room of the EWT Ox Division Champion Crauswell. Earlier this week, the Champion suffered a brutal assault at the hands of OX Division Number One Contender... Cassinova. Since Sum Guy was busy, Lean Gene was getting liposuction, Armbar mysteriously vanished for some reason, and Dusty's basically Ultimo exclusive... not to mention that Marisol girl didn't want the job, I get to do an interview!
Hoss turns to the locker room door, finding out that's it's pitch black inside. He looks around blindly, when suddenly a light pops on and a whole mob of furries jump out behind various furniture.
Furries: SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY...
They immediately stop, staring at Hoss, while a bunch of Mouse head balloons dump from a net, bouncing off Hoss's head.
Hoss: Wow... a party... for me? I don't know what to say.
The furries all groan in annoyance, as one looks over.
Bunny suit guy: Damn it... I told you to make sure it was him. Now we just ruined all these hours of preparation for nothing!
Fox suit girl: Hey don't blame me... this wasn't MY brilliant idea, doing this in his LOCKER ROOM!
Hoss: Wait... so you mean, I'm not popular. Aww... that's a bummer.
As if on cue, Crauswell returns, seeming a bit worse for the wear, as he stops, coming upon his decorated locker room.
Crauswell: Whoa... you guys did this all... for me? Man... and I thought you would all forget my birthday.
The gryphon runs into the locker room quickly diving into the massive pile of mouse balloons Hoss is standing in, sending them everywhere around the room. The furry is so happy, he doesn't even notice stupid ol Hoss, who just stares back.
Hoss: Er... can I ask you a quick question Crau...
Random Furry: Furpile!!!
Suddenly, every animal costumed freak in the room pounces, eventually burying Hoss and the Ox Champion beneath, as.... well, nasty stuff happens. Hoss is muffled screaming underneath this pool of furries.
Hoss: Nooo.... too many furries!
Hoss presumably drowns or something, as the camera man simply turns around... then runs full speed out of the lockeroom... as the pile spills out onto the outside a bit, the cameraman dropping his camera onto the ground, as the screen turns to static.
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Post by Jonathan Doe on Jan 29, 2007 1:59:30 GMT -5
"The WORLDS Largest Love Machine, Viscera" is heard over the PA system, and he comes out to the ring.
Lillian: Making his way to the ring, Big Viscera! And in the ring, from Sin City, Jonathan Doe!
A man of about 6' 2" in height and probably 245 lbs stands in the ring. His head is shaved bald and he wears black shorts with the number 7 in red on the back.
Viscera starts off with a headlock. Doe is able to Irish whip him into the ropes, and a back elbow by Doe. Doe locks Viscera in a arm and headlock. Vis gets to the ropes, so the hold is broken.
Running dropkick by Doe, and Vis is down again. Doe goes up top, and a BIG headbutt by Doe connects with Vis. Vis is just getting manhandled out there!
Doe gets Vis in a Boston Crab in the middle of the ring. Vis is trying to get to the ropes. He inches closer and closer, as Doe fights to keep in away. Vis is within arms legnth, but Doe pulls him away.
Vis is still in the hold, and he finally gets to the ropes. The referee starts the count.
1
2
3
4
5!
The ref calls for the bell.
Winner: Viscera by DQ at 3:47 seconds.
Doe seems upset by that decision. Thats not a good way to debut. Especially in EWT. Doe attacks the ref! He then goes outside and digs around under the ring. He finds...a plate of food?
He gets back in the ring, and rests Viscera's head in the food. Doe grabs Vis's arms, and CURB STOMP into the food! He then picks up the plate from under Vis's head, clears off the plate, and waits for Vis to stand up.
After a few moments, Vis staggers to his feet, only to get the plate broken over his head! Broken Glass...Everywhere!
Oh my! Vis is a bloody mess! Doe goes over to Vis, and is wiping Vis's blood all over his hands! UGH! What the...? It appears he is writing something on the ring canvas over Viscera's bloody body:
Gluttony
This is sick! Whoever this Jonathan Doe is, he is one sick individual!
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jindo
Mike the Goon
Posts: 5
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Post by jindo on Jan 29, 2007 3:57:39 GMT -5
Samoan drumbeats over the p.a. system as we witness the ferociously intimidating Samoan Bulldozer and his manager Armando Estrada striding their way towards the ring.
Announcer: Here comes the Samoan Bulldozer...Umaga with his manager Armando Estrada! His opponent from Sinnersville,Warrior! A woman about 5'1" and 110 lbs stands in the ring. Her hair is in a crew cut with bangs wearing camoflauge trousers and black combat boots and a black tank top.
Umaga begins by yelling something about,"Samoa! Saaaaaaamooooooaaaaaaaaa!"
\Warrior runs up to him, throwing punches and elbowstrikes to his throat and groin,incapacitating him immediately.
Umaga manages to throw Warrior in a headlock but she gouges his eyes blinding him so that she can escape his clutches.
Goes for a flying legdrop and connects. But Umaga doesn't appear to really get fazed too much by this and gets back up laughing.
Umaga goes on the offensive and grabs the steel steps and hits Warrior in the head busting her open.
Warrior gets pissed and pretends that she is hurt worse than she really is to trick Umaga into putting his guard down. Works beautifully,when he does, his hands are down.
So Warrior grabs a cosh and gives Umaga a severe blow to the back of the skull knocking him to the ground. Laughing she then goes for the cover.
Refree begins the three-count.
ONE.........
TWO........
THR-----------------
Ohmigod!
Umaga gets up again, this time he is mad and Warrior is standing by the ringpost. She moves,Umaga busts his hand because he hits the ringpost with such force that he injures himself. He meant to connect with Warrior but she ducked instead of standing there like some kind of moron.
Warrior capitalizes on this and attacks his hand and grabs a chair,then whacks him with it until his head is a bloody crimson mess.
Umaga's limp body on the canvas, Warrior adds the finishing touch: The boot party from hell! She starts stomping his head and kidneys in a fury,then leaving him a bloody lifeless mess...then uses Umaga's blood to write on the canvas mat in large letters:
VENGANCE IS MINE!
Then she is heard: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Announcer: "I can't believe this! She is laughing about it! Look at the carnage and viciousness just displayed! She isn't normal and not someone you want to tread on!"
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Post by crauswell on Jan 29, 2007 18:12:51 GMT -5
After these two unprecedented debuts in a row, we return to the scene from earlier, as Hoss manages to emerge, smelling of... you don't want to know. He takes a deep breath, as the pile of furs still lays in the hallway. Amongst them, Crauswell is curled up near the center, clutching a mouse balloon like a one would some kind of stuff animal, Ox Division belt draped around him. Soon after, everyone wakes up... the none employed furries all exiting the building, in a huge mob, as Crauswell sits up, tossing said balloon away and looking at Hoss.
Crauswell: What the hell are you doing?! Who said you could join OUR gathering?!
Hoss quickly sits up, brushing himself off.
Hoss: Well... I was here yesterday, trying to get an interview. Then... everyone crushed me. Oh god... it was like a horrible nightmare, where I was bed for a bunch of wild animals.
Crauswell growls, as he grabs his title, gently rubbing the surface to clean it a bit, then strapping it on his waist.
Crauswell: Shut up. I don't care about your problems.
Hoss nods.
Hoss: OK then. So let me ask you this instead. Earlier this week, you suffered a nasty fall at along with Spyke Johanson during the Scaffold Tables match. On one hand, Cassinova helped you retain... on the other hand, the fall.
The gryphon peers up close at Hoss, as he looks him over.
Crauswell: You're saying that Cassinova helping me retain... is a good thing?!
Hoss: Well...
Crauswell: *Cutting Him Off* Not even close to a GOOD THING! Cassinova literally spit in my face, making it look like I need his help to keep ahold of my title. A grave mistake on his part. I've defended and held this belt just fine without him. I've beaten every opponent thrown my way, and I've made sure that none of them even get close... to my treasure. And now, Cassinova thinks he can just come out and make me look like a helpless child?!
Hoss: Well...
Crauswell cuts Hoss off again.
Crauswell: No way in HELL is he gonna get away with that. When I get my hands wrapped around his pretty-boy neck, I'm going to squeeze the LIFE RIGHT OUT OF HIM! Cassinova... watch your back, keep an eye out, because you are now my prey. Don't even think that you're safe now... otherwise, you will be DEVOURED!!!
The furry walks into his locker-room, slamming the door in Hoss's face, as he just looks on a bit confused.
Hoss: Man.... I need a shower.
And off he goes as we fade to commercial.
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Jan 29, 2007 22:44:38 GMT -5
*We come back from commercial to see Spaz standing at ringside. Daemon Cohln is already standing in the ring. Spaz rolls in & stares intently at Cohln, he then extends his hand & Daemon accepts. The fans applaud the sportsmanship. The bell rings & the two men circle each other. They tie up & Spaz overpowers Cohln & he throws him into the corner. He then lights him up with a chop Cohln chops back. The two trade chops until Cohln grabs Spaz’s hand & nails him with a clothesline. Cohln picks Spaz up & whips him into the ropes & he plants him with another clothesline. Cohln tries a cover.*
1 2 KICKOUT!
*Spaz powers out of the cover. Both men stand, Spaz ducks a punch from Cohln & he plants him with a Snap Suplex. Spaz grabs hold off Cohln’s legs & looks to lock on a Cloverleaf but Cohln fights it & kicks Spaz away. Spaz’s head hits the top turnbuckle hard & he half slumps down in the corner. Cohln stands & charges at Spaz leveling him with an Enziguri. Spaz falls face first onto the mat. Cohln quickly grabs him & locks on a STF! Spaz is screaming but after a few seconds he is able to reach out & grab hold of the bottom rope. Cohln releases the hold but he stays on the attack dropping his elbow across Spaz’s back. Cohln pulls Spaz to his feet & whips him across the ring. Spaz bounces back & Cohln uses momentum to nail him with a Belly To Belly Suplex. Cohln tries a pin.*
1 2 NO!
*Spaz gets the shoulder up. Cohln pulls Spaz to his feet but Spaz fights him off. Spaz then plants him with a Gutwrench Suplex. He follows it with a leg drop. He pulls Cohln up & nails him with a German Suplex, followed by a second, he is then able to switch around & plant him with a Vertical Suplex, followed by a second & a third amigo! Spaz stands & he signals to the crowd. He climbs the top rope & leaps off looking for a Shooting Star Press. But Cohln got his foot up into Spaz’s face! Spaz reels back & bounces off the ropes. Cohln rolls Spaz up.*
1 2 3!
Bobby Cruiz: Your winner by pinfall Daemon Cohln!
*Daemon rolls out of the ring & heads up the ramp leaving a stunned Spaz sitting dazed in the ring.*
CUT TO COMMERCIAL
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jan 30, 2007 17:02:49 GMT -5
*Returning from the commercial break, the camera is pitch black, but immediately turns on to reveal Thunder, Terina and Jupiter sitting on a leather sofa, with a fine wooden coffee table laying in front.*
Thunder: Ladies and gentlemen!
Jupiter: Commoners of the world!
Terina: We welcome you to another arousing edition of "TJT Shoots Back!"
Jupiter: Waitaminute, Terina, two things: A, you're pretty geeked out today--but in a sexy sort, ya know, and B, why did you say arousing?
Thunder: Jase, ain't it obvious? We're beautiful people! Of course it would arouse them!
Terina: Exactly! And the whole line I said was me trying to be like one of those TV hosts...
Jupiter: Like I said, awesome job there. So what's on the schedule for this show?
Terina: Well.....how about embarrassing moments? What was the most embarrassing thing that happened to you guys?
Jupiter: I'll go first here. My story is pretty lame. I was walking down the street, just to check out how regular people live. And I see the mall, so I figure "Yeah, I'll go in and see how things are!"
Thunder: Yup, laaaaame.
Jupiter: So anyways, I walk around, decked in my custom threads, and people are staring at me in awe. This pimply little prep comes up to me and he's all like, "Where did you get those? Abercrombie? Hollister?" That made me sick to my stomach; he actually had the nerve to ask me if I shop at those damn poor stores!
Terina: And?
Jupiter: He asked me like, real loud. Everyone was staring. I was pissed. So I said, "No, you douche!" and I stormed out.
*Thunder and Terina just stare at him wondering if that's all he has to say.*
Terina: That's it? Like, that's fine, but that's all?
Jupiter: Yup. That little snot made me look like all those....ugh, it was awful. Awful.
Thunder: Um..........okaaaay then. Lemme tell mine! Like 3 years back, I took my little then-5 year old cousin Ronny to the movies, because they had a movie there we didn't have yet that was playing.
Terina: Ronny? I remember him! He's sooo cute!
Thunder: Heh. You met him before, I remember. Anyway, it was some movie about a kid who had to put his dog down. No, not Old Yeller. Somethin' else. Local production. Er, anyways, he sees the part where the dog gets killed, and he starts crying, and I say to him "Now when my lab bled to death after a car accident when I was a little kid I didn't cry." But that struck a chord in me somewhere. I loved that dog a lot, and out of nowhere, I turn on the waterworks too! We're both crying in the movies together, and everyone in front of us turns around and just stares. But I couldn't stop crying. I mourned for my dead dog in front of all those people but then I didn't care.
Terina: Awwwwwww.
Thunder: So that's what I have to say. What about you, Terina? What's the most embarrassing thing that happened to you?
Terina: Um........
Jupiter: And tell the truth!
Terina: Fine! But it's a lot worse than what happened to you guys!
Thunder: Well, let's hear it, Terina.
Terina: I remember when we got invited to Dirk Wallingford's inheretance party, and we all bought our outfits. You guys had the tuxes, and I had that white dress with the thin straps. The one which went to around my knees and--
Thunder: Not to intrude, babe, but where's this going?
Terina: Hold on! So we went to his party, remember?
Jupiter: Oh yeah, me and Jim each drank a TON. *Starts chuckling.*
Thunder: Seriously, we got sloshed. *Laughs along with Jupiter.*
Terina: And it ended up storming out there. He totally crapped out, though--no valet parking. Cheapskate! So I have to go out to the car to get you two the pre-hangover pills made just in case. It wasn't worth it though...
Jupiter: Yeah it was. I want to hear you explain this one!
Terina: So I go out to the car to get the pills, but since it was dark, one of my high-heels made me trip over a rock sideways onto the grass getting over there. It didn't hurt, and I didn't get any stains...but I really don't know how the next thing happened. My arm moved funny while falling and the left strap got ruined somehow. I notice that, so I decide "I'll fix that," and I tear the right one on purpose to get an even look.
Thunder: Hehehe. BIG mistake!
Terina: It was. Because little did I know those straps helped keep the dress up better than I thought they would. Because it started slipping a bit. I shrug it off, and I get to the car. Almost as soon as I get the pills and shut the car door, a pretty bad rain storm breaks out. Now that dress was white, keep in mind.
Jupiter: I like where this is going, giggity! *Starts laughing really loud.*
Thunder: Reference of the common folk. Jupiter, you've slipped. Go on, though.
Terina: Well, when heavy rain goes through a white dress, what happens?
Jupiter: Things become a little clearer to see, if'n you catch my drift...
Terina: Uh-huh, and when I come back in the bright light, that only makes things worse. So I'm in there, my dress revealing a little more of me than I thought it would, which was only worse because of the....see-through effect. Though I did get you two your damn pills.
Thunder: All the guys--Jupiter and I included--thought the trip was worth it, though.
Jupiter: Now I remember! Yeah, guys were all lined up at the bathrooms right after.
Terina(Frowning in distaste.): Ew!
Thunder: Well, you can be sure that you're a popular lady, at least!
Terina: I got you two out no problem, which suprised me.
Jupiter: You should be even more suprised Dirk's wife offered you a change of clothes. She's lucky she didn't get a big backlash after THAT choice. Ha!
*The three of them laugh for a while, but abruptly stop.*
Thunder: And yes, my good friends, this episode DOES have a point!
Jupiter: Yeah. Axel, you've had some embarassments over the years, especially in the old indy days.
Thunder: We're not going to say everything right now, but we WILL say that we knew him back then. And it has something to do with all of us, and his win/loss record against me and Jason.
Terina: With the skill he had for a while, I could've beaten him!
Jupiter: Yeah you could've. He was so helpless against us, until he got some very special help from some "familiar'' friends! If it wasn't for them, he'd be on kid row cleaning the bathrooms after indy shows.
Thunder: Dominating him was so easy. Until he showed up.
Jupiter: Oh yeah. Him.
Terina: Who he is, we won't explain. But we will when the time is right.
Jupiter: That we will do. We just don't want to ruin the extra embarassment he'll face when we say it TO his face!
Thunder: It'll be killer. And so, we thank you, the lowly people, for watching this fine episode of "TJT Shoots Back!"
*The trio continue talking to one another as the camera fades away.*
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Post by "American Cream" Dusty Loads on Jan 31, 2007 1:48:54 GMT -5
*A tall, thin guy with long dark hair, sun glasses and an Iron Maiden beanie is standing with a short, big breasted brunette*
"Wrestling fans all over these boards *lights cigarette* have no fear for the greatest thing ever to happen to this business is here and will have his debut match next week. I'm Joey Riot, I'm here to put the wrestling business flat on it's ass and with Julie Riot here managing me, I'm making my way to the top. No matter what loser this company throws at me gets in my way *dramatically rips off sunglasses* I WILL MAKE IT TO THE TOP! Now if you'll all excuse me, Julie here is gonna help me "get in shape" for my debut next week. *obnoxiously grins* See ya next week."
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Post by Ultimo Chocula on Jan 31, 2007 2:18:23 GMT -5
(Backstage Ultimo Chocula and Daryl Dragon are conversing near the drinking fountain.)
UC: "So I says to Mabel, I says..."
(Suddenly he's interrupted by Vince McMahon, sporting a horrible yellow and red checked jacket, and his two noodly looking body guards. Vince power struts up to the duo and smiles like a renob.)
Vince: "Let's see now! Who are you? Wait, you're that............Ultimo Chocula guy, right? You're an EWT original, aren't you? What's with your name? Did your mother name you after her favorite cereal? Do you stay crunchy in milk? Ha! Ha! ha......"
(Vince puffs his oversized shoulders up and down and turns to Daryl.)
Vince: "And take a look at you! The Daryl Dragon! Nice hat! You like to play the piano, don't you! You gonna play me a song? Do you know................."Chopsticks"? Can you even play that? Ha! Ha!"
(Vince straightens his tie and turns to his goon squad.)
Vince: "C'mon boys. Our work here is done."
(Vince power struts off with his blank looking security behind him. He's well out of sight as UC and Daryl look at each other.)
UC: ".....................................What the *BEEP!* was that? Am I supposed to be insulted?"
Daryl: "Where's a good place to find a haunted garment for your head? Hats-ylvania!"
UC: "True. Very true. The poor bastard can't think straight what with three failing brands. Anyway, where was I? Oh right. So I says to Mabel, I says...."
(Fade to next segment.)
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