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Post by dorf on Jan 31, 2007 15:46:19 GMT -5
Dorf vs. Ratings*Camera takes to Howard Finkel with a microphone in the ring* Finkel: Coming down the aisle, *entrance theme "Keep On Liftin'" by DJ Nagureo is playing* weighing in at 221 pounds, from Palm Springs California, he is a part of The Elite, RA-TINGS! *Ratings comes down the aisle with his sunglasses and his cali gear to a chorus of repeating boo's. He ignores the boo's and walks down the aisle all calm, cool, and californication. Mr. Ratings enters the ring fine and does his usual taunts to the crowd, since they'sa hates the fact that he EQUALS what truly happens in EWT, and that my friends is RATINGS.* Finkel: *Dorf's music plays, a return to "Tearjerker" by Korn* Coming down the aisle, weighing in at 265 pounds, from Filthadelphia Pencilvania, he is a former EWT World Heavyweight Champion, DORF! *Dorf comes underneath the CrapTron all depressed and blue with the music not helping any. The crowd tries to cheer for him, but dorf ignores any cheers there are. No Cheese Sandwich, no fun, no more. He walks down the aisle and knows he has to do this EWT match, or else he will be fired, and nobody likes it when Toomi Bischoff fires peoples. Anyways, Dorf made it to the ring...after a slow, depressing walk....while Mr. Ratings over there across the ring taunts at Mr. Dorf with his sunshiny cali looks basking over dorf. The referee asks both if they are ready and HERE WE GO!* Bell: DING! DING! DING! *Ratings and Dorf do a staring lap around the ring at each other, and then went right for a lock-up. Since dorf is obviously stronger, dorf uses his weight advantage to go to the turnbuckles and holds him there.* Referee: 1! 2! *both refuse to let go* 3! *still refuse* 4! *dorf releases the hold, but Ratings comes back with a cheap Thumb To The Eye to dorf.* *Dorf steps back to the middle of the ring to make his vision clear, while Ratings goes from the corner to sprint at dorf to already attempt to do The Finale. Ratings comes in at a fast speed, BUT is countered by Dorf with a Northern Lights Suplex INTO A PIN!* Referee: 1! 2! *Ratings used all his strength to kick out.* *Dorf then makes Ratings stand up and puts him into the Side Headlock. Ratings uses his leverage to push dorf's weight to ropes and releases the Side Headlock. An Irish Whip to dorf to the other side of the ring ropes as dorf flings back, Ratings attempts to do take dorf down. Dorf looks up at Ratings and shakes his head "no" and actually laughs a little.* *Ratings runs to the ropes again and uses his speed and flinging ability to take dorf down, but again to no avail. He does this once more to try to take dorf down, but dorf counters into an Overhead Belly-To-Belly Suplex! Ratings is down, but dorf goes right to him and applies a Modified Left Shoulerlock. Ratings screams in pain...* Ratings: ....AHHHHHHHH!! *As Mr. Ratings screams in pain and anger, he gets up slowly to put a few kicks into dorf's left knee. Dorf falls down to his left knee, while his right knee is still up. Meanwhile, Ratings goes to the ropes, flings back, and gives dorf a Stiff Drop-kick to his face! Ratings covers!* Referee: 1! 2! *Dorf kicks out!* *Ratings yells out with stress and disappointment....so after arguing with the ref over the illegitimate count of two, or so he thinks; he decides to put Dorf into the Texas Cloverleaf....and boy that looked painful. Dorf kicks and screams in pain and agony.* Dorf: .....unggggggg! *See? While in pain, dorf puls his weight advantage to draw closer the ropes. Dorf makes it to the ropes, but Ratings would not let go. As the referee yells the count of 1 for Ratings to let go, dorf utilizes his strength (finally) to pull his legs and make Mr. Ratings go outside the ring. The referee starts his count.* Referee: 1! 2! 3! *Ratings starts to get up. Dorf is still down.* 4! *Ratings is up and stares at the turnbuckle...and walks toward it via the apron.* 5! *Ratings goes up to the top rope and signals the end for Dorf. He peforms the Modified Senton and AT THE LAST SECOND, DORF MOVES AWAY! Ratings, down....as Dorf crawls over for the count.* Referee: 1! 2! *Ratings barely kicks out!* *Dorf gets up very slowly, but is somewhat disappointed that being a 2 count, though he does not argue with the referee. He grabs Ratings from behind and picks him up to do a Snap Release German Suplex. The crowd is all fired up as Dorf then make Ratings stand up and instantly does the Dorf Bottom. He connects, but does not cover Ratings. Instead, Dorf shows the end is here...the game is over, no more pretending...NO MORE! The end is here, the end is here, the end is here-uhhh, THE END IS HERE!!* *Dorf makes Ratings stand up once more and tosses him to the ropes, due to gravity and the ropes strength, Ratings flings back to a DORF-BUSTER by ya know...dorf, and connects it with an immediate pin!* Referee: 1! 2! *Ratings put his shoulders up! He's the first to kick out of the Dorf Buster!* *Dorf gets right up and starts to argue with the referee, but quickly resolves it as he wants to finish the match. He goes right then to Ratings and picks him up...VERY SLOWLY. Dorf shakes his head as though something hit him....like as if he has no feeling in his legs. ALL OF A SUDDEN, dorf collapses his leg weight and goes down. He is screaming in pain even though nothing is happening to him. Meanwhile, Ratings finally has an advantage and covers dorf!* Referee: 1! *Dorf power outs the pin from Ratings* *Ratings gives out a villainous laugh as he gets up slowly to watch dorf as he tries to squirm himself up to no avail. Dorf can only sit up, but its enough for Ratings as he gets up and does a quick sprint Drop-Kick to Dorf. Dorf sits back right up, all aggrivated and realizes that he is now in a paraplegic situation!* *Ratings, pissed off that dorf sat right back up, goes to the ropes right away to hit dorf's back with a Shining Wizard! Dorf is down this time and Ratings thinks this is the perfect time to try the Corkscrew Senton Bomb again by pointing to the top rope.* *When Ratings goes up to the top, he has a hard time with his footing, THEN OUT OF NOWHERE, DORF GETS UP AND RUNS UP TO THE TOP ROPE! HE SETS RATINGS INTO POSITION AND EXECUTES THE ABDORFTION OUT OF NOWHERE WITH A PIN!!* Referee: 1! 2! *Ratings barely kicks out again!! Dorf is very aggrivated. * *Dorf gets up, but is having leg pains again it seems like, as he falls down to one knee again. Somehow the problem ended a lot quicker than the other one. He walks over to Ratings and makes him stand up. He Irish Whips him to the ropes, but Ratings comes out of nowhere with "The Critically Acclaimed." AND BEFORE DORF WENT DOWN, RATINGS HITS THE NAME DROPPER!! Ratings covers!* Referee: 1! 2! *Dorf barely puts his shoulder up!* *Ratings, utterly disappointed...walks over near the corner of the ring and waits for Dorf to stand up, almost impatient to the point of actually wanting to make Dorf stand him up on his own. Once dorf got halfway up (probably some recurring numbness in his legs), Ratings went full steam at DORF AND HITS THE FINALE~! RATINGS COVERS!* Referee: 1! 2! 3! *Dorf powers out, but its too late!* Winner: by pinfall, RATINGS!*After the match it seemed the referee did the double arm cross get EMT helping thing-a-mobile (strechers they say these days) to hoist dorf and fix his problem. Usually dorf would refuse medical help, but he is very cornfuzed at what is going on here. Ratings grabs the mic* Ratings: *panting* Well...it seems like my future as winner...of the Royal Pain of the Ass Rumble is mine...*crowd boo's* Yeah, you can boo all you want, but I, RATINGS, have single-handedly defeated the winner of the last Royal Pain in the Ass Rumble winner....dorf. *crowd boos* As a result, everybody in the lockerroom will be watching...come Royal Pain in the Ass Rumble....the Ratings machine will go up to skyrocketing proportions that EWT has...never....ever....experienced before. *Ratings drops the mic and his music plays with boo's from the crowd...meanwhile, dorf is being loaded onto a strecher. Camera fades to black for a commerical.*
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Post by Redface: Dispenser of Justice on Jan 31, 2007 21:51:47 GMT -5
*The Shot Opens up With Tazz and Micheal Cole sitting at the announce table at ring-side* Cole: With only One week until The Royal Pain in the Ass Rumble, The Excitement here is Already Mounting! Tazz: I hafta agree with you, Cole. Everybody is pumped for dis thing, I mean EWT Royalty? This is BIG!youtube.com/watch?v=VLWMMYq8Zt0*The Lights go down. at the 00:30, Redface Enters the arena as the light comes back up with a mic in hand. He is met by both cheers and boos, but he seems intent on making his way to the ring.* Cole: Well, Look, Tazz, It's Redface Rodgers! Tazz: I'm tellin' ya, Cole, Dis kid has serious potential. *Redface bring the mic up to his mouth and begins to speak. A few 'We Want Axel' chants come from the smarky audience while the marks boo* Redface: *Mocking the Fans* "WE WANT AX-EL!". That Jabronie Had The Nerve to lay a hand on me and I made him Pay for it! But Why are We Talking about Garbage when we can be talking about the Rumble? Cole: Wow. It seems Redface has some choice words for "The Icon" Axel Halaway. Tazz: Yer tellin' me! Those two haven't exactly, y'know, gotten off on the right foot. Redface: I haven't been here long but I already have an idea of the types of dudes I'm up against: A bunch of pasty-faced goth kids... *The Crowd Hates this* Cole: He must be talking about The Draugr... Redface: Some Jamaican dude who thinks He's Matt Striker...*The Crowd Pops* Tazz: What's he got against Tutor Tyreese? Redface:...And (Puts on a Sour Expression) Dusty Rhodes. *The Crowd Hates this too* Cole: Oh, COME ON! That was Un-called for! Tazz: This kids has a mouth on him, huh? I LIKE IT! Redface: A While Ago, I was trying not to be too high on myself, but as soon as I saw some of these CLOWNS in Action *jeers from the crowd* and coupled with some motivational-type speak from Ultimo Chocula *More Jeers* YOU DON'T KNOW NUTHIN' ABOUT HOW SMART THAT DUDE IS, SO JUS' SHUT UP! *Calms down* As I was saying, I'm Starting to see the jokers I'm up against in the rumble, I'm Starting to think that I have every right to be cocky. In fact, if I may, I'd like to make a prediction as to who is going to win the rumble: ME! Yer lookin' at the future King of EWT, and...*He's cut short* *The arena lights go down and the Entrance area is bathed in Green light* youtube.com/watch?v=Nl134Zzt8xI*At 00:25, Merc appears and the Crowd goes wild. He makes his ways towards the ring* Cole: OH MY...! Tazz: LOOK WHO IT IS! IT'S MERC! Cole: Merc! who put up a very impressive fight against The EWT Champion, Maelstrom very recently... Tazz: What do you think He's gonna say? *Merc Enters the Ring and asks for a mic. Redface looks very perturbed. The Music Stops* Redface: WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT? Merc: I WANT...To remind you, That I'm going To Be in the Rumble...And as Long as I'm in the Rumble, you don't stand a chance. Redface: OH YEAH? I SEEM TO RECALL SOMEONE CHOKING ON A CHICKEN BONE IN HIS MATCH AGAINST MAELSTROM! YOU THINK YOU CAN BEAT ME? WHY DON'T YOU TRY ME? *throws his mic down and puts his dukes up* Tazz: WHOA WHOA! WE MIGHT SEE SOME ACTION HERE! Cole: Why isn't security here to break this up? Merc: *laughing* Save your Energy for the Rumble. You'll Need it. *leaves the ring and exits the arena. Redface looks on* Cole: Sage words of Advice from Merc. *Suddenly, the Crowd beings making a huge racket. "The Icon" Axel Halaway enter the ring with a Chair in hand. Redface turns around and receives a face full of chair. Axel begins to unload chair-shot after chair-shot until Redface is Bleeding and Idle in the middle of the ring* Cole: OH MY! I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT JUST HAPPENED HERE! Axel Halaway just launched a surprise attack on Redface Rodgers! Tazz: Dis can't be good for Redface. He's not gonna be 100% for the Rumble! Cole: You're Tellin' Me! *Axel pics up the mic dropped by Redface and begins to speak* Axel: THUNDER! JUPITER! You saw just now what I did to this worthless waste of a human soul. YOU GET IT ACROSS YOUR THICK SKULLS...I CAN... NO, I WILL DO THE SAME THING TO YOU! *Throws down the mic and leaves the ring and arena* *Fade to Black*
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Feb 1, 2007 9:47:34 GMT -5
*Mike Ragnal is backstage again, standing in front of the EWT banner, the Tri-State title over his shoulder. Obviously, he does not look pleased.*
MIKE: So apparently, Chance Confidence can't make it to face me. Same with whatever replacement he intended to send.
F*** them. It's not like I need to prove myself any further just how damn well I am as a champion. But sooner or later, Oceanic, you and I are gonna face again, whether it's a rematch for this baby-
*Mike slaps the main plate of the belt*
-Or in the PITA Rumble. And next time, I'm going to show you why I'm the Tri-State champion. And if you can beat me...congrats. But it's gonna be different next time, Oceanic. Because next time, the rules are gonna be a bit more..."pure".
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Post by teamireland on Feb 1, 2007 17:17:43 GMT -5
Fink: The following contest is scheduled for one fall...........
*The revved up version of "Amhrán na bhFiann" blares over the PA and Coach O'Hare comes out first waving his hurley around and jawing at the fans. He turns and hold his arms out in a presenting fashion and Shane Malone slowly walks out, stops at the top of the ramp, and looks around at the crowd without smiling. O'Hare motions to go to the ring and the two head down the ramp.*
Fink: Introducing first, being led to the ring by Coach O'Hare and representing Team Ireland. From Galway and weighing in at 297lbs, he is the Celtic Giant.............Shane Malone!
*With that the two men stop halfway down the ramp and raise their arms as green, white, and gold pyro go off. They resume their march to the ring and O'Hare holds the ropes open for his protege. Malone enters the ring and flexes his biceps for the crowd as O'Hare continues to jaw with the fans. "From Sinking" comes on and the arena lights fade down to a dark blue. Oceanic appears from the back to boos but she could care less.*
Fink: And his opponent, from Kauai, Hawaii, weighing in at 126lbs...........................Oceanic!
*Oceanic walks down the ramp not giving the fans any attention whatsover. She rolls under the ring ropes and stands right back up. Coach O'Hare attempts to psyche her out but she just shoves him aside and walks right up to Malone, who towers over her by more than a full foot. Malone stares down at her and cracks his knuckles as Oceanic just stares right back at him, turns, and walks over to her corner. Coach O'Hare composes himself and gives some last minute words to Malone then exits the ring.*
The bell rings and the two meet up in the center of the ring. Malone takes his hand and places on top of Oceanic's head, insinuating that she's a small fry and chuckles to himself. Oceanic slaps his hand away and chops Malone across the chest. Malone is surprised by this and responds with a chop of his own that sends Oceanic staggering back to the ropes. O'Hare, delighted by this, shouts encouragement to his charge. Oceanic sneers and shakes off the effects of the chop and marches right back up to Malone, who's feeling pretty good right now. Malone offers Oceanic a free shot and puffs his chest out. Oceanic rears back and chops Malone hard against his chest, which causes him to wince but he stands his ground. Malone regains his composure and says to hit him again. Oceanic chops him and again Malone winces, underestimating her, but doesn't move from his spot. Malone has a visable red spot across his chest but otherwise he's fine and he offers Oceanic just one more shot. He puffs his chest out anticipating her next chop and she rears back. Oceanic motions like she's going to chop and Malone braces himself, but Oceanic stops and pokes Malone right in the eyes. Malone staggers around the ring half blind as O'Hare complains to the referee. Oceanic begins to stiffly kick at Malone's legs, trying to knock him down, but the Irish big man stands his ground. With every kick he appears to be wobbling but he remains standing. Oceanic hits the ropes for the kill but Malone composes himself and he shoulderblocks Oceanic flat on her back with a resounding thud. Malone isn't horsing around anymore and he picks Oceanic up by her hair. He scoops her up and body slams her down to the mat with, as The Body would say, "authority". Oceanic sits up arching her back from the effect and Malone follows up by clubbing her across the back with his forearm. Malone stomps the mat and raises his arms up to the crowd to show that he's the top dog as O'Hare applauds him on. Malone picks Oceanic up and sends her to the ropes and goes for the back body drop, but Oceanic leapfrogs and side kicks the back of Malone's knee. Malone falls down to one knee and Oceanic follows up by dropkicks him right in the back of the skull. Malone grabs his head and staggers up as Oceanic hits the ropes and follows up with a big Knee Bazooka right in Malone's chest that sends him staggering backwards to the ropes. Oceanic doubles Malone over with a big kick to the stomach and begins to nail him with several elbow strikes to the face. Malone catches each blow but manages to get both arms under Oceanic and lifts her right off of her feet and uncerimoniously dumps her over the top rope to the outside. Oceanic lands hard on the outside as Malone tries to get his bearings back.
Malone uncrosses his eyes and he positions himself on the ring apron, waiting for Oceanic to stand up. She does stand but not for long as Malone comes down off the apron and plants a big ax handle across the back. Oceanic hits the deck and Malone is there to lay a few boots into her as O'Hare makes his way over to that side of the ring to cheer Malone on. Malone picks Oceanic up in a Gorilla Press and holds her above his head, pressing her a couple times just to rub it in, then tosses her through the middle ropes and back into the ring. Malone climbs back into the ring and hits an elbow drop, followed by a pin attempt.
1................. 2...................
Oceanic gets the shoulder up. Malone picks Oceanic up in a Delayed Suplex and plants her. He goes for the pin again.
1................. 2..................
Shoulder up. Malone puts Oceanic into a bear hug that picks her up so she's about a two feet off the ground. The ref is there to make sure Oceanic doesn't give up but she won't. Malone keeps the bear hug applied but Oceanic begins to fight her way out of it. She elbows him in the face a couple times and on the third he lets go. Oceanic lands on her feet but she's so weakened she just crumbles to the mat. Malone sends Oceanic into the ropes and knocks her down with a Big Boot followed by a splash across the chest. He covers.
1..................... 2.....................
Once again Oceanic gets the shoulder up. Malone gets frustrated and goes for the pin again, this time hooking the leg.
1....................... 2.........................
She still manages to wiggle her shoulder off the mat. Malone grimaces and positions himself directly parallel on top of Oceanic while he holds both of her shoulders down with his massive arms.
1..................... 2.....................
Suddenly Oceanic knees Malone right in his crotch and the big man falls off of her, holding his goo shooter and rolling on the ground. Oceanic and Malone are both on the mat and the ref begins a ten count. Malone is up at five, but he's still nursing a bruised banana (face it, that kind of pain don't go away for a while) and slowly stalks Oceanic. He picks her up for a Samoan Drop but Oceanic wriggles around and gets Malone in a Six Second Magic. Malone staggers around the ring with Oceanic hanging off his arm and tries to shake her off, but he can't so he grabs the ropes. Oceanic breaks the hold at the four count and Malone nurses his arm while Oceanic is draped across the ropes trying to get some of her steam back. Malone gets his wits together and charges at Oceanic but she side steps him and Malone goes flying through the ropes and to the outside. Malone crashes on the concrete as Oceanic slumps to the mat. O'Hare rushes over to check on his student and he helps him up to his feet. As O'Hare checks on Malone Oceanic gets up and hits the ropes and blasts both men with a suicide dive through the ropes. Malone takes both Oceanic and O'Hare right to the chest and crashes back first on the steel baricade. Oceanic slowly gets up and rolls back into the ring as Malone picks himself off the concrete. Malone staggers back to the ring and tries to enter but Oceanic continually kicks him in the face whenever he does. This happens about five times but on the sixth Malone catches her foot and shoves her backwards to the mat and finally enters the ring.
Oceanic slowly stands up and turns to see Malone running full bore with a Spear but at the last second she super kicks right in the head and Malone hits the deck, as well as Oceanic from the sheer force of it. Oceanic dives on Malone for the pin.
1............... 2..................
Malone kicks out. Oceanic puts Malone in a cross armbreaker in the center of the ring and cranks down on it. Malone is still feeling the effects of Oceanic's earlier attempt at Six Second Magic, so his arm isn't really in the best condition. Oceanic continues to crank on the hold & Malone attempts to shimmy across the ring before finally getting a foot up on the ropes. The referee begins to count...
1...
2...
3...
4...
Oceanic breaks the hold just in time to save herself from disqualification. Malone, meanwhile, rolls outside the ring & nurses his arm a little. O'Hare gives Shane a bottle of water & the big man takes a swig from it. In doing so, he doesn;t notice as Oceanic bounds off the ropes at the opposite side of the ring & delivers a baseball slide right into Shane's arm. The big man is feeling pain again. Oceanic exits the ring & drags Malone to his feet. She tries to whip him shoulder first towards the ringpost, but "The Celtic Giant" reverses the move & Oceanic herself winds up hitting the post. Shane signals to O'Hare & the Coach throws Malone his Hurley. Malone winds up & swings for Oceanic's head, but ends up hitting nothing more than the ringpost as she deftly moves out of the way of his attack.
Oceanic rolls back into the ring & checks at her mouth. She's bleeding, presumably from being thrown into the ringpost. Malone follows her back in, his arm still smarting. Malone tries to corner Oceanic, perhaps sensing some form of advantage. But, borrowing a technique from Zinedane Zidane, Ocanic headbutts Malone in the chest. As Malone reels, Oceanic climbs the ropes & takes him off his feet with a missile dropkick. Feeling opportunistic, Oceanic tries to lock in "These Arms Are Snakes", but Shane grabs her arms before she can completely lock in the hold. Keeping a firm grasp on Oceanic's arms, Shane gets to his feet. He quickly flings Oceanic up into position for the "Irish Car Bomb", but she manages to wriggle free. She leaps onto Shane's back & tries to lock in the kahtahajime. With Oceanic on his back, Shane runs back first towards a corner, crushingher between his body & a ringpost. Oceanic maintains her grip so Shane charges towards another corner, once again crushing Oceanic. Again, unbelievably, she holds on! Seeking to finish things off, Shane merely walks to the centre of the ring, clearly fading, & throws himself backwards, dropping all his weight on top of Oceanic. She's out cold & Shane is knackered lying on top of her (no smutty jokes, please). The referee begins his count...
1...
2...
SHANE SITS UP!
He's having a ball now, finally being in control of the match. He picks up Oceanic's lifeless body & gives her the "Gal-A-Way Slam".
1...
2...
KICK OUT!
Shane, O'Hare & the referee are all in complete shock that Oceanic was able to kick out! Shane stands behind Oceanic, waiting on her to get to her feet, his arms spread out wide. A dazed Oceanic, slowly gets to her feet & Malone gets her in his grasp. He attempts the Dragon Slayer, but Oceanic slips out of his Full Nelson Hold. She turns to face him & he slaps on an Iron Claw. But he's not just trying to play Oceanic at her own submission game; maintaining the hold, Malone lifts Oceanic high into the air & drives her down to the mat again, almost like a chokeslam. Oceanic lies motionless on the mat once again & Malone covers...
1...
2...
3! DING-DING-DING!
Fink: Here is your winner... SHANE... MALONE!
*"Amhrán na bhFiann" plays again as the referee raises Shane's hand in victory. The Giant shows no sign of emotion as he & Coach O'Hare exit back up the rampway, but he does seem a bit perturbed that a woman gave him one of the stiffest challenges he ever faced.*
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Post by bollywood on Feb 2, 2007 6:51:12 GMT -5
Somewhere in India...
In a palace of some sort, there is much dancing and mingling going on. At the far end of the room on a balcony, a well dressed man is surrounded by beautifully exotic dressed women.
Man: (In mid sentence) "...So I said to him, "Don't have a cow man... unless you want to get stoned!"
The man and the women laugh. After sipping his drink he looks at camera and welcomes the viewers with a big smile.
Man: "HEEEEEEEEEEEY!!! Welcome to India, viewers of EWT. My name is Mahavir Abha, the Bollywood Bigshot! Star of many movies here!"
He pauses and looks to the women around him. With a chuckle, he looks back at the camera and raises his eyebrows up and down.
Mahavir: "Ah... you like what you see, yes? India's finest and sexiest right here. But all pale in comparison to my girl. Ladies, AWAY WITH YOU!"
The women playfully pout and walk out of camera frame.
Mahavir: "You want sexy, I show you sexy." (Claps his hands twice) "JASMYNE!"
A volumptous light-skinned woman of Indian descent wearing very little clothing comes into view and sits on the Mahavir's lap.
Jasmyne: "Hello baby."
Mahavir: "Hello sexy. Give Mahavir some sugar."
Jasmyne kisses Mahavir's cheek before Mahavir looks back to the camera.
Mahavir: "This is Jasmyne. She big star too in films... the naughty kind."
He winks at the camera
Mahavir: "Say hello to the people at home, Jasmyne."
Jasmyne: to camera "Hello baby."
Mahavir: "Ehh, she's not that bright but hey--what an ass, right!? Anyway, allow me to give you the "411", okay? Me and Jasmyne have done it all here in Mumbai, so we are on our way to America. Are we coming to take Hollywood by storm? NO! We have our eyes set on the world of wrestling. And what better place to make an impact than the glorious promotion of E.W.T."
Mahavir exhales in pleasure
Mahavir: "You know Jasmyne, I'm getting excited about going to America."
Jasmyne: "Me too, baby."
The two move in closer, their eyes full of lust and passion.
Mahavir: "You know what we do when we get excited, yes?"
Jasmyne: "But of course."
They both look to the camera.
Both: "We dance."
After Jasmyne gets off his lap, Mahavir proceeds to leap off the balcony and lands on the ground below, where a bunch of party goers are already in position for the upcoming dance number. Upbeat Indian music begins to play and the group starts to dance in sync. A montage of everyone dancing is shown which ends with Mahavir dipping Jasmyne and looking up at the camera.
Mahavir: "EWT, prepare to be starstruck. Because the best of Bollywood is coming."
He looks back down at Jasmyne in the dipped position, allowing the camera to get a good shot of her chest cleavage. Looking back at the camera, he flashes a sly grin.
Mahavir: "Like what you see, yes?"
Mahavir & Jasmyne... Coming soon...
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Feb 2, 2007 23:01:39 GMT -5
SG: I'm Sum Guy & I had a crush on Chyna. I am here with Royal Pain In The Ass Rumble entrant Spaz. Spaz, how do you think you will go in the RPITA Rumble?
S: I will win the damn thing Guy, it doesn't matter if I am the first one or the last one in the ring I will throw everyone out who tries to stop me from getting a shot at reclaiming the EWT World Title. Since I lost that title my life has sprialled out of control. That title represents what I can do at my full potential. When I had that belt nobody could touch me. I was the greatest technical wrestler alive today. I know that sounds concieted Guy but it was true. I defended that title against over 30 men & kept it around my waist. Then my life outside this ring got in the way. Maelstrom beat me fair & square. I had some problems & lost my focus but now it is back! So everyone in the EWT take notice coz Spaz is back & in top form! I will triumph in the RPITA Rumble & I will regain the EWT World Title!
SG: Spaz is fired up! It will take a big effort to stop him. I'm Sum Guy & I understand The Great Khali.
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Maelstrom
AC Slater
The Tide Will Turn!
Posts: 236
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Post by Maelstrom on Feb 3, 2007 10:20:48 GMT -5
We return to ringside where the crowd is booing for a brief trailer of a new movie featuring action star Flex Magnificent. As the trailer ends the lights dim and smoke rises from the stage. The first notes of Le Gran Luxe' can be heard. The crowd begins to boo again as the smoke rises from the stage and explodes above. Maelstrom has arrived. hestands watching the crowd briefly, before he ehads to the ring. The EWT Heavyweight Belt on his shoulders. He enters the ring and takes up a microphone. The crowd begins to chant 'We Won't Turn!' Maelstrom begins to speak.
MAELSTROM: I am not out here to try and get you fans to see which way the current really flows. You will all come back to loving my brutality when the time is right.
The Chant gtes louder
MAELSTROM: I am out here because I have been asked many questions of late. All of which revolve around the one thing everyone in the back wants!
Maelstrom holds up the EWT Heavyweight Title for all the crowd to see. The crowd boos loudly.
MAELSTROM: The World Heavyweight Title is what seperates those in the back from me. I have gone through tables, fallen from ladders, taken chair shots and still I am Heavyweight champion. Yet people ask whether I am concerned about my next opponents ....
Maelstrom watches the fans carefully
MAELSTROM: Merc ...
The fans cheer and some chant 'Merc' for everyone to hear.
MAELSTROM: and Eddie Omega
The fans cheer even louder and chant 'Omega'. Maelstrom walks around the ring but does not seem concerned at the reaction either name recieved.
MAELSTROM: The answer is yes I am concerned. Merc is a bad ass, an untamed man who knows what he wants and how to get it. This match with him I guarantee will be one to watch!
The fans cheer surprised by this responce by Maelstrom
MAELSTROM: As for Eddie Omega. He is a wrestler's wrestler, I may have beaten him in the past but he was unprepared. He had a week to ready himself for that encounter and he lost. This time it is different, this time he has been training in the desert & watching how I wrestle. He will be a challenge.
An 'Omega' chant begins
MAELSTROM: Yes I am concerned ...
Maelstroms usual sour demeanor changes to a grin that would tear puppy dogs in half
MAELSTROM: ... for there egos when I crush them beneath the waves of the Whirlpool!
The crowd chants 'arsehole' loudly!
MAELSTROM: You people really belived me then didn't you? Your pathetic! You think months of training is going to be enough to end my reign on top? Think again, this is the era of the Maelstrom and it is not going to come crashing down to some punk kid like Merc or end by the hands of Omega! No the Maelstrom will continue to dominate, there will be no turning tides this week or the next.
The crowd continues to jeer, and chant 'We Won't Turn!'.
MAELSTROM: The final question I have been asked this week regards the Royal Pain in the Ass Rumble. I have been asked who I think may win the rumble and whether they will be a challenger for my Heavyweight Title!
The crowd continues to jeer, boo and generally yell abuse at Maelstrom
MAELSTROM: Quite frankly it won't matter to me who wins it. It could be Mike Ragnal, Mysth or Chris Indigo. It really wouldn't matter to me if Sum Guy won it. I can beat every single one of those men in that rumble. Whether they have a crown on there head when they face me won't affect how I smash them into the ground.
From one corner of the crowd a group of women are holding up a sign saying 'Oceanic = Queen of the rumble!'. They are screaming loudly at Maelstrom. Maelstrom points at the sign
MAELSTROM: Now that's where the smart money goes! Oceanic is my kind of girl ...
The group of women cheer! Maelstrom begins to shake his head slowly.
MAESTROM: But I can beat Oceanic beneath these waves too ladies!
The women stop cheering and start screaming at Maelstrom again! Maelstrom laughs as he toys with the fans
MAELSTROM: Enough, I have told you moronic masses of what I am capable of and how I intend to deal with my challengers. Remember this is the Era of the Maelstrom!
Maelstrom throws the mike away, Le Gran Luxe plays over the speakers as Maelstrom heads to the back a confident if hated champion!
(fade out)
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Post by xombiehiphop on Feb 3, 2007 11:20:27 GMT -5
"..They're all gonna laugh at you!"
"..They're all gonna laugh at you!"
-The infamous line from 1979's Carrie, uttered by Piper Laurie the actress who played Carrie's psychotic Mother, is repeated again and again. The voice becomes slower and effects are added to it..making it sound far creepier and demonic-
"..They're all gonna laugh at you!"
"..They're all gonna laugh at you!" [/b]
-The scene shows a long, narrowing hallway. Dimly lit and with pale green walls. Some of the paint chipped, a few rats scurry about the floor-
..February 11th..the Rumble. ..Everyone is boasting about what's going to happen. About how they're going to become champions. About how dominant they will be. ..Well..
-The three members of The Draugr are shown in various spots of the hallway. Ghost Face in front of the camera with his arms rested behind his back. Corpse with his back pressed against a wall. And Wraith and the far right corner in the background-
..We don't really care. ..All we wanna do..is hurt people. ..And we ARE going to hurt you. And we're going to murder..any chance you have of becoming royalty..until it's just a sweet memory..
-The lights begin to flash and suddenly a red liquid falls from the ceiling, leaving all of the members of The Draugr drenched in it from head to toe. Just like in film's most well known scene. The three stare at each other as their eyes widen. The strange trio begins cackling wildly-
The Draugr: They're all gonna laugh at you! They're all gonna laugh at you!
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Post by SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman on Feb 3, 2007 12:58:47 GMT -5
*We' re heading to the EWT' s training room where we can see Mysth who is... well, he' s training... he stops when he sees Sum Guy and Candy Girl coming his way.*
Sum Guy : I' m Sum Guy and I'm Sum Guy & my family's from Northern Ireland, so I'm not really Irish.
Candy Girl : Heyy ! I' m Candy Girl and I am shocked by this announcement !
Mysth : Not me. Actually, I feel pretty relieved by this... I mean, as you can guess, I' m not very keen on Irish people at the moment...
Sum Guy : Ah yeah ! I see what you mean ! But that' s not why we came to see you today !
Mysth : Really ? Well, I suppose you came to talk about the Toolshed Title, right ? Or maybe the Rumble ?
Candy Girl : Both, actually. Mysth, the day you signed up for the Rumble, you claimed that, at this event, the fans would see both a new Toolshed champ and a new king, and that they would be none other than yourself. Do you really think you can make both of these amazing achievements ?
Mysth : Well, why wouldn' t I ? You know, I feel I got the pace of that fed, I know how to go with these guys here in EWT, and now I' m on a winning streak. I beat Liam o' neill at mys first EWT Pay Per View at Season' s Beating, then I beat Singapore Caine with no difficulty, and I feel more ready than ever ! I' m unstoppable ! So, in my next match, I will go inti the ring, face Chris Indigo, kick the holy crap out of his ass and get the EWT Toolshed Title ! There' s no other way things can be. And after that, let me tell you, Candy Girl, the Royal Pain In The Ass Rumble be nothing but... a formality ! I mean... hey, let' s be honest, who else than me copuld win this thing ?
Sum Guy : Well, since you ask it, I think Mike Ragnal is pretty hot, and Oceanic could overcome the odds, also, Merc and Cassinova could...
Mysth : SHUT UP !! I am the one and only who can win both the Toolshed Title AND the Rumble ... I am the one and only who can do THIS... that' s me... that' s... Mysth...
*Sum Guy looks like he' s trying to remember he' s forgotten.*
Candy Girl : Well, all I can hope is that your words become truth... also, I thought maybe you had a word for your foe, Liam O' Neill...
*Sum Guy tries harder.*
Mysth : Ooooh yeah... that Irish dumbass. Seriously, one week ago, he was all cocky telling me how I could "never beat the Irish" and such bulls****, and now what ? He believes he' s Hulk Hogan and claims he' s a real American ! Hell, if I was a Team Ireland, I' d feel really let down by this bastard who can' t even take a few knocks to the head without suffering personality disorder ?? And this guy thinks he can beat ME, the Darkness in the Light ?? Can you only believe that ??
*Sum Guy tries REALLY hard you should see that, this is amazing !*
Mysth : And Liam, since you seem to believe you' re Hulk Hogan, I have to talk to you in an appropriate manner, so... When you... Holk Hooooogooon... travel to the EWT arenaaaaaaa... I' ll tear down the cock-pit door... Hock... Hog' n... take the two pilots... assume the controools... Hock... Hog' n... I will take control of your plane... and take it to a nooooooose dive... Hock... Hog'n !
Sum Guy : HEYYYY !! I JUST REMEMBERED I' LL BE IN THE RUMBLE TOO !!
*Mysth stares at Sum.*
Mysth : Oh really ?
Sum Guy : Yeah ! And odds are that I will WIN !!
Mysth : What are you talking about ?
Sum Guy : And just as a preview...
*Sum Guy punches Mysth in the face... but hurts himself in the process. He' s now nursing his hand...*
Mysth : Jeez... that' s sad...
Sum Guy : Ooooouch... I... I' m Sum Guy and I' m the future winner of the Royal Pain In The Ass Rumble...
Candy Girl : If you say so... I' m candy Girl and I believe I' ll have to treat someone...
*Sum Guy and Candy Girl leave the room, Mysth goes back to his training, and we fade to black.*
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Post by Rick Raskall on Feb 3, 2007 15:51:38 GMT -5
Video package for the RPITAR Voice-over (think TNA's video package announcer): One match...Toom E. Dangerously: The Royal Pain in the Ass Rumble...Voice-over: Takes on a whole new meaning...Toom E.: The first ever EWT Royalty!Voice-over: As the top stars in EWT fight for their chance at history...Oceanic: To break barriers... Ratings: To break ratings records... Marcus Trunk: To break bones... Voice-over: And to defend their pride...Merc: For respect... Rick Raskall: For the crown! Curly Long: For the Midget King! Crauswell: For the ULTIMATE TROPHY! Team Ireland: FOR IRELAND!! Voice-over: A night of opportunity...Eddie Omega: To be a champion... Maelstrom: To be THE Champion! Voice-over: And unspeakable torture...Dorf: For honor and dignity... Ape: For the last breath you'll ever take... Voice-over: For the up-and-comers...Shots of TJT, Benz. Mutilated, Mysth, Redface Rodgers, Rated X, The Playa Haters, Cassinova, Daryl Dragon, Tutor Tyreese, and Joe OneFor the familiar faces...Shots of Mike Ragnal, Merc, Crauswell, Chris Indigo, and Ultimo ChoculaVoice-over: And all the rest...Shot of Sum Guy standing by himself. He looks around for a moment, then sort of walks off cameraVoice-Over: It will truly be...Toom E. Dangerously: A ROYAL...PAIN...IN THE ASS!
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Boku AKA Da Green Guy
El Dandy
WC's Resident Pirate Otaku and Official Scapegoat
Always and Forever, Hurricane.
Posts: 8,371
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Post by Boku AKA Da Green Guy on Feb 3, 2007 18:06:11 GMT -5
*Back from commercial, we see Axel (in street clothes) staring at the video package for the Rumble. He shakes his head and sighs. His bandage still visible and the stitches are still in place. They are due, ironically, to be taken out the day after the Rumble. Jobby opens the door to Axel's left and walks in, he's in wrestling attire like always.* Jobby: Hey, I'm back from Toomi's office... He said you are banned from the building at the Rumble for your actions against Redface. And what you might do to TJT. Axel: *smirk* I saw that coming. Jobby: By the way, who's HE? Axel: Drop it. *pause* Jobby: Well, that just means after the autograph session we'll just go to my favorite 80s themed Club! Axel: Greeeaattt. *pause* Axel: About the autograph session, how will it be set up? Jobby: Toomi said we get to choose how to set it up but there has to be two guards to prevent you from entering. Axel: *snide grin* I'm getting to be popular huh? We get to set it up? Hmm... Jobby: I was thinking that we could be right next each other, I have already made FIVE mixtapes for the autograph session and I- Axel: I was thinking, maybe, we could be at separate tables on the right and left of the entrance. Jobby: Oh... Okay.... Axel: I mean, that why your fans can go to you and my fans can come to me. Plus, it helps shorten the lines. And, you don't have to have two hulks to bother you. Jobby: I guess that makes sense. Axel: Sure it does. Jobby: Then we could listen to my tapes here! *Jobby runs to his gym bag.* Axel: Ugh. *Jobby returns with a tape player and a few tapes.* Jobby: Here's my first one! Wholesome 80s hits number 1! *Jobby hands the tape to Axel, who reads the songs on the tape then stares at Jobby.* Axel: ...Wholesome? Jobby: YEAH! Axel: ...Jay, these aren't wholesome. Jobby: What?! Axel: “She Bop”? “Turning Japanese?” “Safety Dance?” “Pretty Mess”? Jobby: Yes? Axel: Jay, none of these are wholesome songs. Jobby: What do you mean?! Axel: ...They have... Other meanings to the songs... Jobby: No way! *pause* Axel: ...What else do you have? Jobby: Here's Volume 2! *Jobby hands Axel the tape and takes the other one back.* Axel: ...These are all Prince songs... Jobby: Wholesome right?! *Axel, behind his shades, stares at Jobby. After briefly reading his face, he speaks.* Axel: Yeah... sure... Um, just go ahead and play something... *Jobby runs out of view to pug in his tape player while Axel leans back; longing to be included in the Rumble.* www.youtube.com/watch?v=ip1zsUIosoA*Axel sits up and looks at Jobby, who gives him a cheesey thumbs up... Axel stares at him but then leans back and mouths the words.* *Fade to black.*
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Post by thesunshinesquad on Feb 4, 2007 11:19:33 GMT -5
As we return from commercial, we see a familiar looking woman sitting in what appears to be the old dust covered set of her short lived EWT show of sorts, her hands holding the top of her wigged head as she lets out a bit of a miserable sigh.
Vivian: Mmm, this is no fun at all. With Toomi disbanding the GND division and now with that jerk Podanski already dealt with, I'm absolutely bored. There's nothing to do anymore! I mean... what am I supposed to do, take a bunch of steroids and get a sex change? Walk around like a useless valet for some stupid looking man, or even worse... turn into some slut of an interviewer. Do they really expect me to become the next Marisol?!
She reaches down onto the ground, as crumpled on the ground is her odd twisted looking ring attires, crumpled up in a pile of clothing, as she sighs, taking a match and striking it.
Vivian: Well... guess I don't you need this stuff anymore.
She chucks the lit match, setting the clothes ablaze instantly, as she then reaches up, ripping the wig as well off her head and chucking it into the now burning pile as well, as she hops up, with a rather solemn look on her face for once.
Vivian: Well that's alright. I guess I might as well just head out of this dump for now... but when I come back, well... we'll just have to see what happens.
She giggles slightly, reaching down for a smiley faced tote bag, slinging it over her shoulder and walking out the front door, as the set catches ablaze, the whole building starting to burn to the ground, as Anemone walks out of the front of what appears to be an abandoned warehouse, walking into the parking lot, hopping on an electric moped, and speeding off into the night.
Fade to next segment.
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Indigocrates
Unicron
I got bored. Decided to become a philosopher. Just 'cause.
Posts: 2,953
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Post by Indigocrates on Feb 4, 2007 13:49:28 GMT -5
*We see Christopher Indigo sitting in a dimly lit boiler room, Minipax flag draped over him. Candy Girl enters the room.*
Candy Girl: "I'm Candy Girl, and I'm here with EWT Toolshed Champion Chris Indi-"
*Christopher cuts Candy Girl off*
Indigo: "Chris? Who is Chris? My name is Christopher Indigo."
Candy: "Well, Christopher, what are your thoughts about your defending the Toolshed Title against Mysth?"
Indigo: "Mysth, the darkness in the light, the man who feels the wrath of Minipax. Mysth, what you need to understand is that there are two kinds of people in this world: the enemies of peace, and the Ministry of Peace. Mysth, in my quest given to me by BB, EWT WILL feel be brought peace by Minipax. Your challenge is not even a distraction in the road to Nine Orders being fufilled."
Candy: "Nine Orders?"
Indigo: "The Nine Orders, given to me and Mr. One by BB, for the fufilment of our purpose here in EWT."
Candy: "Anyway, what are your thoughts on the rumble?"
Indigo: "Ah yes, the RPITAR, it would be most unwise for the EWT viewing public to discount me, or Joe One for that matter. See, me and One have been in mass melees before. Look at Symphony of Destruction last year, the year the Toolshed Title went around the waist of someone other than an unworthy person. Paul Podanski? A glorified prole if I ever saw one. Spyke Johannson? A dirty Eurasian. But getting back on topic, I've been in wars like this before, I have prevailed, this time it is no different. It's just more participants, just more for me to bring peace to. I know how you win in a match like this, I know the mind set you need to enter if your hopes are of seeing your name in the main event slot at Crap-a-Mania IV. I know what's it like to be pushed to your limits. I know, that it takes less than a second for your feet to hit the floor. I know, that it takes less than a second for immortality to slip from your grasp."
Candy: "Well, um, wow, that was, that was, heavy, to say the least. Soooo, ummm, *Indigo gets up to leave* Oh yeah, that's right! One more thing, Christopher, Marcus "Stylez" Saxton is in the building, and making his triumphant return from injury at Season's Beatings!"
Indigo: "He's back? Well, maybe he'll remember just what Christopher Indigo is capable of."
*Indigo gets up and leaves, leaving Candy Girl in the boiler room*
Candy: "I'm Candy Girl, reporting from *looks around* somewhere...*
*Cut to the next segment*
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Feb 4, 2007 18:17:45 GMT -5
*Camera fades into the luxurious room belonging to TJT. As usual, a coffee table with a bottle of champagne in a basket of ice is present along with three wine glasses, and is in front of the sofa TJT are sitting on. Flanking each side of the couch is a nightstand with bronzed lamps, one on each.*
Thunder: Ladies and gentlemen!
Jupiter: Commoners of the world!
Terina: We welcome you to the latest episode of "TJT Shoots Back!"
Jupiter: Damn, that was a bang-up job with the opening. Perfect timing there, guys.
Thunder: Yeah, sure. Anyway, I think we all know the subject of today's show. And that'd be, the Royal Pain in the Ass Rumble.
Jupiter: I swear, that's got to be the most ludicrous name for a PPV I've ever heard. *Frowns.* Quite frankly, it ruins the fun of being able to beat up and toss people out.
Terina: Aw, come on, it's not that bad. Sure, it's a bad name, but you at least get to have a match along with Thunder. You should be happy. I mean, you two are going to win the Rumble!
*All three of them instantly flash smiles of confidence.*
Thunder: You can count on that! Speaking of you not being in a match, me and Jason managed to...work something out.
Terina: You brought in a woman for me to wrestle? Thanks guys!
Thunder: Not quite, babe.
*Terina's excitement quickly turns to disappointment.*
Jupiter: You see, we can get you in a match with a...man.
Terina: That's not fair! Why do I have to--
Thunder: Some little rookie who thinks he's a ninja.
Jupiter: Some loser fool. Not sure who, though.
Terina: Any name in particular?
Thunder: Not from what we found. Probably has one. I think...
Terina: Thanks. It'll be hard, but that's nothing I can't do. After all, I'm as good a wrestler as women come!
Jupiter: Wait. What about the Rumble? Isn't that our subject for today?
Thunder: Oh yeah.Well, I think we've got this one in the bag.
Terina: You guys might, but what do you think about your opponents?
Jupiter: Snots.
Thunder: Easy pickings.
Terina: No, I mean, what did you learn from that scouting earlier? About the high-profile guys?
Jupiter: Oh, them. They might stand a chance, if it's a bad day for Thunder and I.
Thunder: Oh, I definitely think we'll be the last two in the ring, and almost all of the opponents are pushovers. But there's a couple of guys we need to keep our eyes peeled for, just in case.
Jupiter: Alright Jim, WHO would that be?
Thunder: Simple. Ratings instantly comes to mind.
Terina: Oh, him.
Thunder: Here's a guy who called us "rip offs," who's--
*All three frown.*
Thunder: --determined to win it all. Hes got a ton of focus and skill, too. I think we can take him, but he might be a suprising opponent.
Jupiter: We can take him. Same goes for Merc, for Spaz, for--
Terina: Remember, no matter who you guys face, always stick together. It has to be a team effort.
Jupiter: Sure. I mean, we've already got our opponents beaten, but when we're fighting alongside each other, we'll overcome them all.
Thunder: Agreed. I think. Heh.
Terina: While I'm not in the match, I'll see what I can do to help you. Maybe put my looks to good use...
Thunder: Let me guess. A dis--
Jupiter: Quiet! Don't speak of our plans!
Thunder: Sheesh. Relax, Jason.
Terina: He has a point, though. We don't need to tell anybody about things.
Thunder: But there's NO way we can lose anyway! Just look at the old days!
Jupiter: Ah yeah. There were battle royal matches. Which we easily won. After saying how we'd win. Still, no reason to talk about it. Even the suckiest of people might pull off a victory.
*The trio suddenly get silent.*
All at once: Yeah, right!
*They break into laughter.*
Thunder: Fine, fine, we'll secretly talk about it.
Jupiter: Alright, that's settled, then.
Terina: And what about your--
*Suddenly, the door opens. Redface Rodgers, unexpectedly, walks into the room.*
Redface: Hey guys. Thunder, Jupiter, Terina, how's it--
*Almost in shock of his arrival, Jupiter cuts him off.*
Jupiter: What the hell are you doing here?
Redface: Well, I have to catch a plane, so I thought I'd pay you guys a visit. Say, uh, I see you guys have some ice. Mind if I put some in a bag for my head injury?
*Terina shows a face of irritation.*
Terina: First of all, Redface, or whatever your name is, the ice is for our champagne, and second, why don't you just get out of here?!
Redface: Oh, well--
Thunder: GET OUT!
Jupiter: Get out of here, rookie!
Redface: Fine! But don't expect me to do you guys any favors in the future...
*Redface turns around and storms out, slamming the door loudly. All three members of TJT wince simultaneously at the sharp sound of the door slamming.*
Jupiter: You'd think that guy just rolled into town on the yutz wagon.
*All three laugh.*
Thunder: Hey, I thought I was the random one, Jason.
Jupiter: Looks like I outdid ya there. You gotta admit!
Terina: Great line. Though it sounds familiiar.
Thunder: Yeah it does.
Terina: What I was getting at, before he arrived, was this: what about Axel's partner, Jobby?
Jupiter: Who? Oh, the 80's freak. I like the music and all, but he's reminding me how much the 80's sucked!
Terina: No sense of style, no sense of fashion, no sense of being high-class.
Jupiter: Sad times, Terina. Sad times.
Thunder: Damn straight. To the point, I think his name says it all: he's a jobber.
Jupiter: He lost....to Funaki. One of the world's worst! That guy owes us!
Thunder: Yeah he does. Let's make sure to deal with Jobby again sometime.
Terina: Though, after getting him and Axel sent away to the pre-show with the lowly fans, I think we've already put him in his place.
Jupiter: Sad thing is, that pussy actually is pysched about it.
Thunder: Psyched about autograph signings, can't seem to win a match...
Terina: Pretty soon, we'll be hearing he lives with his mom!
Jupiter: BURN!
Thunder: Seriously!
*The trio breaks into cocky laughter yet again.*
Jupiter: And yes, ladies and gentlemen, we're going somewhere with all of this!
Terina: Because my men will not only dump everyone out, and decide between them who'll win, but we'll also make sure that J&A continue to feel, full-force, exactly what TJT can do to them! Enough talk. I think we've got things under control.
Thunder: I say we have a pre-victory celebration!
*Thunder grabs the bottle of champagne and pops the cork out.*
Jupiter: Alright, I got the glasses, you got the drink! This thing is under way!
*Thunder pours all three of them drinks as they begin to guzzle down their champagne and converse some more. The camera fades out.*
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Post by Redface: Dispenser of Justice on Feb 4, 2007 19:14:09 GMT -5
*The Shot opens to a vast desert area in the middle of a sand storm. A heavily-cloaked figure is walking against the sands. The Camera Pans over the vast dunes of the Desert. The Storm Finally subsides, and the cloaked figure collapses, exhausted. In The Background, another figure can be clearly seen practicing Tai Chi: Eddie Omega. The Figure Gets up and Removes his Hood, Revealing the face of Redface Rodgers. Redface Moves towards Omega*
Redface: Eddie!
*He Doesn't answer*
Redface: I heard you were training out here...
*Eddie Sits on the sand and motions for Redface to do the same. He Does*
Omega: You Seek to better yourself? *Notices the bandage of Redface's forehead* It seems your enemies have already gotten the better of you... *A defeated look appears on Redface's Face* I've been training here for a while...
*The Camera Cuts to a montage of Eddie and Redface training together: Sparring...*
Omega: *Voice-Over* I Trained Long and hard...
*Jogging...*
Omega: *Still Voice-over* There are many things I can teach you....
*Meditating on Hu-normous Boulders*
Omega: *Yes...Voice-over* And perhaps many things you can teach me...
*The Camera Pans over the vast desert area, Redface and Omega can be seen jogging some more*
Omega: *Voice-over*: In time, our Foes will come to know us as 'formidable'. Our Training here will not only strengthen our bodies, but our minds and souls as well...
*there is a shot of Omega standing on a Dune watching the sunset. Redface climbs the dune to join him. Omega glances at Redface and continues looking at the sunset*
Omega: *Voice-over* We will be new men, when we return to EWT: Fit and Lean. We will be Champions in our own right, to traverse this rugged terrain. We will be like Gods among men...
*The camera fades to black. Bold Golden Text appears on the screen: Coming Next Week: The Royal Pain in the Ass Rumble...And The Return of Redface Rodgers and Eddie Omega!
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ape
Unicron
Aunt Blabby Tells All.
bea wants all you sweathogs to take a look at what a REAL man is supposed to look like
Posts: 3,223
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Post by ape on Feb 4, 2007 19:19:18 GMT -5
*the camera fades into an uncomfortably bright room. it's spotless and clean...almost pure white. the light bouncing off of all the white almost makes it look heavenly...the camera pans to the corner of the room to see psychoapeguy on his knees, with his arms outstretched and his head up, looking at the sky. he kneels there motionless...then begins to speak*
...dorf...the time is near....the time where one of us will walk away...and the other one will be paralyzed forever....
*apes head lowers and he slowly gets up from his knees and awkwardly walks towards the camera.*
...i've already made it clear that i have no desire to win, dorfy poo hehe....i just want you to suffer....and i have no problem sacrificing my own well-being.....just to make you miserable. you stole my precious rosebud from me....hehe...so i stole your precious heidendorf from you.....
*at this point ape is right in front of the camera. he takes a few steps back until his back is to the bright, white wall. he then rips the side of his tattern and torn shirt, pulls out a razorblade, and slowly cuts a long gash from his chest down to the side of his right ribcage. blood gushes from the wound and splatters onto the wall. ape calmly drops the razor and puts both hands beneath the wound, which has blood flowing from it like a waterfall. after a few seconds, he take the blood, raises it to his face and he drinks it. ape then takes a few steps forward again and spits the blood at the lightbulb on the ceiling, covering the lightbulb with a coat of blood, which in turn, transforms the room's hue into a dark red. ape begins to talk again.*
...up until now, dorfy poo....everything i've done....it's been heavenly....hehe....compared to what i have in store for you, the stuff i've done in the past would make me a saint...hehe....
*ape looks down at his wound and quietly chuckles.*
....i'm going to bring you someplace i've never taken anyone before....hehe....my own.....personal....hell....hehe....you'll understand my burdens....hehe you'll understand everything about me....hehe....and right before your paralysis kicks in....hehe...you'll understand....that maybe....just maybe.....hehe...maybe there will be a ten-bell salute the following night....if you get my drift...hehe.....i'll see you at the rumble, dorfy poo....hehe.....
*ape once again drops to his knees...outstretches his arms and looks up to the sky. he quietly chuckles to himself as the camera fades to black.*
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Post by Banned Member on Feb 4, 2007 20:54:20 GMT -5
Lillian: The following match is a final encounter match! And it is for the EWT Heavyweight ChampionShip!!! *The monster is Loose starts* Coming down to the ring from parts unkown the challenger The Mercenary!!!!!
*The arena goes dim, and the red, and black smoke goes off, and than a blast of pyro as The Monster is Loose blares over the arena, and Merc walks down to the ring to the approval of the fans. Merc gets in the ring, and takes off his leather coat, and then pulls up his elbow pad. Merc waits with an intent look on his face. As Lillian gets set to anounce the champion.
The lights dim smoke rises from the stage and Maelstrom’s Music ‘Le Gran Luxe’ begins to play across the arena.*
Lillian: And the opponent from Marianas Trench. The EWT champion Maelstrom!!!
*As the music kicks in Maelstrom appears from behind the smoke, like a living force of nature. He watches the fans and his two opponents in the ring as he slowly raises the World Title Belt over his head. The crowd jeers, boos and is generally hostile*
Merc waits as the champion enters the ring, and the two wrestlers step towards the center of the ring, and start to trash talk each other. Merc turns,and heads back to the corner only to be hit with a forearm to the back of the head by the champion. Maelstrom hits Merc in the back with several more forearm shots. Maelstrom turns Merc around, and irish whips him towards the ropes. Maelstrom goes for a big boot, but Merc ducks it, and bounces off the ropes, and Maelstrom barely ducks a closeline from Merc. Merc turns around, and is hit with a stiff lariet from Maelstrom. The champ goes for the cover.
1.......
Merc gets a shoulder up. Maelstrom punches Merc in the head several times. The ref manages to pull Maelstrom off of Merc. Maelstrom argue with the ref, and as Merc stuggles to hi feet we can see he is now donning the crimsom mask.
MaelStrom walks over to punch Merc, but Merc blocks it, and hits a right to the champs head. MaelStrom than throws a punch at Merc, and it connects. The two exchange blows to the head. Merc finallygains conrol, Maelstrom quickly hits Merc with a knee to the gut.
Maelstrom shoves Mercs in between his leg, and picks him up for the WirlPool, Maelstrom spins Merc around, but Merc starts to punch MaelStrom in the head. Forcing the champ to put Merc down. Merc follows up with a stiff close line. Maelstrom falls to the Mat, and Merc picks him up by the head of the hair, and whips him into the corner. Merc walks over, and sets the champ on the top turnbuckle, and signals for the Mercenary drop. Merc climbs, but is met with pucnches to the head. MaelStrom bounces Mercs head off the top turnbuckle, and powerbombs Merc off the top rope. MaelStrom covers Merc, and puts his feet on the ropes.
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No the ref sees that the champs feet are on the ropes, and kicks them down MaelStrom gets up, and argues the refs call. Merc gets up, and taps the champ on the back, and when Maelstrom turns around he is hit with a polish hammer that sends the champ to the outside. Mderc follows suit, and the ref begans his count. Maelstrom meets Merc with a knees to the gut, and then throws him into the steel steps. The ref count is up to up to five now. MaelStrom picks up Merc, and goes to suplex on the steps, but Merc blocks, and hits a Mercenary drop on to the Champ on the stirs busting him open, and laying him out. Merc rolls in the ring real quick as the ref hits the ten mark.*
Lillian: Your winner by count out The Mercenary!!!!! Since the title can't change hands by count out. Still EWT champion Maelstrom.!!!
*Merc looks upset at the outcome, and argues with ref for a few, Merc then gets out of the ring, and takes the belt from the timekeeper. Merc walks over to Maelstrom who is very slowly getting up. Merc gets right in the champions face, and holds the belt near him.*
Merc: You see this!!! Well do you!!!! This will be mine !!!!! For you see Aquaman you have trouble when it comes to wrestling me! I always get the upper hand in our battles, and just like when I took the Tri State title off your hands. I will take the EWT heavyweight title off your hands, and bring it back to the fans!!! This may be the final encounter, But I promise you this I will get another shot at the title, and if I don't I will show Toom what a royal pain in the ass I can be!!!
*Merc throws the belt at the champ, and backs away making a belt motion around his waist as we fade to black.*
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Aunt Blabby Tells All.
bea wants all you sweathogs to take a look at what a REAL man is supposed to look like
Posts: 3,223
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Post by ape on Feb 5, 2007 1:56:11 GMT -5
*the lights in the arena dim and sinister exaggerator by the residents plays over the loud speakers as psychoapeguy calmly walks out wearing a black suit and tie. he has maggots squirming out of his breast pocket, along with a very-much used napkin folded neatly inside. he's carrying a bouquet of black roses in his right hand. he almost looks as if he's going to a funeral. he enters the ring and looks in the corner at a man in luchador gear. he then turns his back to the man and gently places the flowers in his corner, grabs the mic, and turns back to face the luchador once again.*
hehe....ladies and gentlemen....i've decided to have a warm-up match to show dorf what he's got to look forward to at the rumble...hehe.....allow me to introduce...luchadorf.
*the luchador raises his hands in the air. he then leaps on the top turnbuckle and does a backflip, landing on his feet. however, as he turns around after the landing, ape hits a vicious lariat on him, nearly sending his mask flying from the whiplash and possibly breaking his neck. ape chuckles to himself then rolls to the outside of the ring and checks underneath the canvas for something. after a few seconds, ape emerges with a hand blender....a hand blender that appears to have barbed-wire wraped around it. ape slides back into the ring, places the blender on luchadorf's chest and begins to spin the handle, causing the barbed wire to quickly and violently tear through his flesh. several people in the audience begin to scream and look away at the carnage. after about twenty seconds of the barbed-wire blendering, ape throws the blender aside and sticks his fingers into the gaping wound on luchadorf's chest, ripping the flesh apart even further. as each tendon snaps, psychoapeguy's face seems to get a bigger and bigger smile.
luchadorf, who was screaming at the top of his lungs, has passed out from the pain and blood loss at this point. paramedics rush down to ringside to attempt to stop the carnage. psychoapeguy just stands above luchadorf with his mouth frozen wide open with a sadistic smile and his eyes bulging out of his face. he lets out an almost inhuman growl as the medics get close. a bold medic enters the ring to try to reason with ape. ape quickly kicks the medic, ddt's him to the mat, then pulls out a razorblade and cuts two gashes underneath the medic's eyes...making it seem as if he's crying blood. he then picks up the unconscious medic and positions him on his knees. ape then jams his fingers into the medic's eye sockets and locks in the 'eye for an eye' hold.
the medic's not in the hold for more than three seconds before a loud chairshot is heard throughout the arena and ape collapses in the center of the ring. an irritated ape turns around to find dorf and get greeted with another brutal chairshot, this one drawing blood from ape's forehead. dorf goes for a third chair shot, but ape quickly bails out of the ring. he slowly walks up the ramp, pulling out the crusty, maggot-filled napkin from his pocket and uses it to suck up the blood from his forehead. ape begins to quietly laugh to himself. he lowers the napkin and examines the blood. he then looks back up at dorf, still in the ring, and smiles...and then begins to applaud him. the smile slowly fades into a scowl and ape slowly creeps into the shadows as dorf checks on the medic and luchadorf as the rest of the paramedics enter the ring to help them out as well. before he leaves, dorf raises his chair, covered in ape's blood, in the air to a tremendous ovation from the crowd. the camera fades to commercial.*
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Post by Ultimo Chocula on Feb 5, 2007 15:30:41 GMT -5
(Back up to the ring we go as "Love Will Keep Us Together" plays over the loudspeakers. First out is PsyToni Tennille to play up to the crowd like Hooray For Everything, followed by a dopey Daryl Dragon and Ultimo Chocula, who unzips his hoodie and throws it down to the ground and hypes it up a smidge.)
Lillian: "The following tag team match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, being led to the ring by PsyToni Tennille, from Portland Oregon and Los Angeles California...............Ultimo Dragon!"
(The three weirdos enter the ring, UC hopping up on a turnbuckle while Daryl and Tennille do a dorky little dance in the ring. The lights go down and "Never Let Me Down/Disposable Teens" blares over the arena.)
Lillian: "And their opponents, being led to the ring by Auraelia, the team of Moxie and HMark....................The Prophecy Reborn!"
(The three members of PR stand at the top of the ramp soaking up the cheers from the crowd, then march down to the ring. They enter and stand side by side, raising their arms as their pyro goes off around the ring (I don't know if they have pyro but what the hell, why not?) The lights come up and Auraelia leaves the ring, as does PsyToni Tennille. The two teams size each other up from their respective corners and the bell dings to start the match.
Hmark and UC start it off and lock up. Hmark gets UC in a side headlock and UC shoves him off into the ropes, drops down, and catches Hmark with a hiptoss on the rebound. Hmark pops back up armdrags UC as he comes in. UC and Hmark once again lock up and UC winds the arm up. Hmark flips out of it and applies the arm bar on UC. Hmark goes behind and applies a hammerlock as UC tries to wiggle out of it. UC grabs Hmark's head and flips up and over, landing behind him, and smacks Hmark in the back of the head with an open hand slap. Hmark turns around and gives UC the skunk eye as UC grins.
The two circle each other and lock up and now UC gets Hmark in a side headlock and Hmark pushes off, leap frogs, and hits UC with a belly to belly suplex. Hmark follows with a body slam and an elbow drop and gets UC in a reverse chin lock. UC manages to work himself up to his feet and picks Hmark up into a fireman's carry. He carries Hmark over to his corner and tags in The Daryl Dragon, who sticks his knee out as UC drops Hmark stomach first over it. Dragon goes for a pin but doesn't even get a one.
Dragon lets Hmark stand up and they face one another. They lock up and Hmark knees Dragon in the stomach. Hmark sends Dragon into the ropes and hits a back body drop followed by back elbow. Hmark tags in Moxie and they hit Dragon with a double back suplex.
Moxie lays a couple forearms into Dragon's back and sends him into the turnbuckles. Moxie charges in but Dragon gets the boot up and Moxie runs right into it. Dragon hits Moxie with a bulldog and a knee drop to the chest. Dragon winds up Moxie's arm, makes the tag to UC, and he jumps off the top rope, driving his elbow into Moxie's arm.
UC sends Moxie into the ropes but Moxie reverses but UC ducks his clothesline attempt and lands a flying forearm on the rebound. UC gives Moxie a release Northern Lights and school boys him when he tries to stand up.
1......................
Kickout. UC measures Moxie for a dropkick but Moxie slap him away and hits UC with a dropkick of his own when he stands up. Moxie follows with a side suplex, hits the ropes, and comes down across UC's chest with a senton. Moxie tags out to Hmark and gets UC in a full nelson so Moxie can kick him in the gut hassle free.
Hmark gutwrench suplexes UC over and drives his elbow into UC's forehead a couple times to make him woozy. Moxie winds UC's arm and flips him so he's on his back and applies an arm scissors. UC squirms to not only free himself but to also make sure his other shoulder doesn't hit the mat and get himself pinned. After a minute or so UC kicks Hmark in the head, breaking the hold. Hmark regroups quickly and punches UC a few times to keep him soft. He attempts a back suplex but UC flips over but Hmark is on it and elbows UC in the beak. Hmark hits the ropes and blasts UC with a running knee strike and goes for the pin.
1..................... 2.....................
Kickout. Hmark tags out to Moxie and they hit him with a double clothesline. Moxie hits a snap suplex followed by a jumping elbow and goes for a pin.
1................ 2....................
Kickout. Moxie attempts a bodyslam but suddenly UC follows through with it and gets Moxie in a small package.
1...............
Moxie kicks out real quick like and stands up only to get a super kick from UC out of nowhere. Moxie sits on the mat dazed as UC jumps over and tags in The Daryl Dragon. Dragon delivers a couple stiff kicks to the midsection, sends Moxie into the corner, and runs in with a back elbow. Dragon monkey flips Moxie out and goes for a pin.
1...................... 2.......................
Kickout. Dragon sends a stiff kick right to Moxie's back and applies a chinlock. Auraelia pounds on the mat hoping to get Moxie up and going as he slowly does just that. Moxie gets back up to his feet and elbows Dragon in the stomach twice to break the hold, then hits the ropes. Dragon attempts a big boot but Moxie ducks and takes Dragon's leg out from under him. Dragon flips over and lands on his back as Moxie scoops him up and hits a Manhatten Drop followed by a jumping calf kick. Moxie rolls over and tags out to Hmark, who enters the ring and peppers Dragon with a series of fists to the head. Hmark hits the Golden Gate Swing.......
1............ 2..................
Kickout. Hmark hits the ropes and attempts a high cross body but Dragon ducks it and Hmark crashes down to the mat and rolls to the outside. Hmark stands, trying to get his wind back only to turn and see Dragon come at him and hit an Asai Moonsault. Both men stagger up and here comes Moxie with a suicide dive on Dragon. Moxie gets up and celebrates but it's short lived as he turns and sees UC fling himself over the top rope and (Dun dun DUUUUUN!!!!) blasts him with the Cannonball Run. UC gets up and thinks he's the last one standing but Hmark has regrouped and leaps off the steel barricade, hitting him with a heel kick. Hmark slowly gets up (landing on concrete hurts, kids) and picks Dragon up, throwing him into the ring. Hmark hits a Falcon Arrow and goes for the win.
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Dragon kicks out. Hmark tags in Moxie and they send Dragon into the ropes. Hmark hits Dragon in the gut as Moxie comes off the adjacent ropes and lands a scissors kick.
1.................. 2......................
Dragon kicks out. Moxie puts Dragon in an abdominal stretch and drives his elbow right into the ribcage. Dragon struggles as the ref checks to see if he wants to give it up. Dragon says something about a hat (that means "no") and Moxie eventually lets go of the hold only to hit him with a reverse suplex. Moxie winds up Dragon with a Mahistrol Cradle.
1.................. 2.......................
Kickout again. Moxie tags out to Hmark and they send Dragon into the ropes for another double clothesline, only Dragon ducks it and hits a double dropkick on the rebound sending both PR's down to the mat. Tennille hops up and down encouraging her man to make the tag and after a drawn out, Ricky Morton moment, he does just that.
UC hits the ring and blasts Moxie out of the ring with a dropkick, and gives Hmark one as well so he doesn't feel left out. UC gives Hmark a standing neckbreaker followed by a quick legdrop. UC hits a standing moonsault and covers.
1................... 2...................
Kickout. UC gives Hmark a Ghetto Blaster that sends Hmark stumbling into the corner where UC places him up on the top rope and springboards off the second rope and dropkicks Hmark in the gut. Hmark falls foreward onto the mat, flippign onto his back and UC nails a Perfect Plex on him.
1................... 2........................
Moxie makes the save. Moxie picks UC up and hits a running elbow smash. Dragon takes offense and he enters the ring. Dragon and Moxie duke it out in the center of the ring as Hmark regroups. Moxie attempts to kick Dragon but Dragon catches his leg and Dragon Screws Moxie right into Hmark, sending both men down to the mat. UC stands and he and Dragon hit the ropes for a double hurricanrana, which sends the PR flipping to the other side of the ring. UD hit the ropes again for another double team move but PR get wise and they hit stereo belly to belly overheads. Moxie scoops up Dragon in a power bomb and lowers the boom while Hmark lands a neckbreaker. Hmark covers.
1............... 2..................
UC pulls Hmark off. UC and Hmark pound each other as Moxie comes over to pull UC off of his partner. Moxie holds UC's arms back and Hmark goes for the kill. Before he can do anything though UC reaches up with his legs and captures Hmark's head. He then pokes Moxie in the eye, who lets go of UC, as UC hurricanrana's Hmark right into Moxie. Hmark groggily gets up and UC is right there to hit him with a Squid Face! He covers.
1...................... 2...........................
Hmark kicks out! UC hits the mat and screams "Sunnuva *BEEP!*" and he attempts a Sugar Fix. Before UC can do anything Moxie regroups and spears UC big time. Moxie hits the Decimator and covers.
1................... 2......................
UC kicks out! Now it's Moxie who can't believe it and he goes for a Quick Fix, but UC shoves him away and goes for a clothesline. Moxie ducks it but when he stands back up he gets laid out with a super kick from Dragon. UC sees this and turns just in time to see Hmark leap off the top turnbuckle and hit him with the Euro Dragon Uppercut. Meanwhile Dragon has connected on Moxie with the Do That To Me One More Time.
1..................... 2............................
Hmark breaks up the count just in the nick of time. Moxie rolls out of the ring as Hmark goes for a Tiger Suplex, but Dragon reverses and back body drops him, but Hmark reverses that into a Sunset Flip, which Dragon rolls through and dropkicks Hmark in the face. Dragon attempts to hit Hmark with the DTTMOMT but Hmark elbows out of it and responds with a Roaring Elbow. Hmark attempts a Blue Thunder Driver but Dragon flips over and lands behind Hmark and slaps a Dragon Sleeper on him combined with a Lung Blower. Dragon keeps the Sleeper applied on Hmark as he's laid out across his knees as UC climbs up to the top rope and lands a moonsault on Hmark. Dragon lets go and UC pins Hmark.
1................ 2.........................
Moxie attempts to come in but Dragon cuts him off....
3!
Lillian: "Here are your winners........................Ultimo Dragon!"
(UC and Dragon exchange high fives as Tennille enters the ring and pumps her fists like a soccer mom. Moxie rolls Hmark out of the ring where he and Auraelia check to make sure he's ok. Meanwhile the UD three each mount a turnbuckle to play to the crowd as we go to a commercial.)
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Post by teamireland on Feb 5, 2007 16:35:36 GMT -5
*M People's "Moving On Up" begins playing over the PA system as Mr. Big makes his way out carrying Curly Long on his shoulders.* Toni "The Garc" Garcya: The following contest is scheduled for one fall & is for the EWT World Tag-Team Championship. Introducing first at a combined weight of 538lbs, Mr. Big & that "VLB" Curly Long, MIDGET KING & COMPANY! *The crowd hurl boos & trash at Big & Curly as they make their way down the ramp. Once in the ring, Mr. Big goes to a corner & Curly climbs off his shoulders & down the turnbuckles. Big leans down & he & Curly exchange a few words.*
*That rockin' cut of "Amhrán na bhFiann" plays & the crowd boos grow only louder as the hated EWT Tag-Team champs appear at the top of the ramp. Coach O'Hare, as always, is waving around that Tricolour as if it's going out of fashion.* Garcya: And their opponents, being accompanied by Coach O'Hare, at a combined weight of 396lbs, proudly representing their home country of Ireland, Sean McCann & Aidan Donnelly... TEAM IRELAND!
*Team Ireland's green, white & gold pyro explodes at the top of the ramp & the three continue on down to the ring. Neither Aidan nor Sean seem particularly happy about having to face men they fancied as being their allies.*
Nick Russ: Good evening EWT fans, I'm Nick Russ & with me, as always, is Jerome "The Lord" East. Jerome, Team Ireland seem to be at another “Big” disadvantage here tonight. Pun most definitely intended. Jerome "The Lord" East: Yeah, Nick, you're a regular Dave Chappelle. The disadvantage you're referring to would have to be Curly Long's body guard, Mr. Big. Look at the size of this guy! He, alone, weighs more than both Team Ireland members combined! Too bad too, as Coach O'Hare seemed to be trying to form an alliance with Curly Long over their mutual hatred of Raskall & Trunk. Russ: I wouldn't trust either of those guys as far as I could throw them… actually, I could probably throw Curly a fair distance… the point is neither Curly Long, nor Coach O'Hare are guys I would want to form any kind of alliance with. I actually commend Toom E. Dangerously for putting together this match tonight. Forcing these teams to face off against each other means that a very dangerous alliance will have to be put on the backburner & it prevents them from interfering in each other's matches for a change!
*Before the match can begin "Poor & Weird" by The Briefs begins playing. Drawing the attention of not only fans & announcers, but the wrestlers in the ring as well. Ultimo Chocula & The Daryl Dragon are making their way down to the ring. Curly & Big glower at the new arrivals as Ultimo Dragon take seats at the broadcast table.*
Russ: Ladies & gentlemen, an unexpected pleasure as the team of Ultimo Dragon join us for some commentary. Ultimo Chocula:[placing on a headset] Is this on? The pleasure's all yours Nick, trust me.
DING-DING! *Mr. Big starts the match for his team, Sean was about to start for Team Ireland until he saw this. He walks back to his own corner & makes the tag to Aidan. Aidan gives Sean a "WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU DOING?!" look & reluctantly steps in. Mr. Big adjusts his gloves & waits for Team Ireland to resolve this quarrel. Aidan decides to try his luck & walks over to Big. Donnelly extends his hand to Big for a handshake. Big reciprocates & the crowd boos at this apparent alliance between Team Ireland & Midget King & Co. But those boos turn to cheers (however briefly) when Big drags Donnelly towards him & floors the Irishman with a short clothesline.*
East: And here I thought they might have been able to not let this match get in the way of their friendship. Russ: Just like I said, Jerome. You can't possibly trust a man on either of these teams. Ultimo: Well observed there, jackass. You think nobody else in EWT has noticed how odious Curly Fries is? Heck, he makes that jerk-off who manages the Boston Celtics seem semi-respectable.
*Big picks Donnelly up & Irish whips him towards the ropes. Big takes Donnelly down again with a Big Boot to the face. Big drops an elbow onto Aidan's chest & then picks Aidan up for a powerbomb. Donnelly manages to reverse the powerbomb attempt with a hurracanrana. Nobody seems more surprised by the move than Donnelly himself. He quickly makes it to his own corner & tags in Sean.*
Russ: Is it really a good idea to make a tag to Sean McCann? He's not even half Big's weight. East: Don't discount Sean McCann, Nick. He may not be the biggest wrestler in EWT, but he’s got the ability to pull off some spectacular surprises. This isn't the first time Team Ireland have been at an apparent disadvantage against seemingly superior challengers. They've seen off former tag-team champions such as the team then known as The Nyrds ever since their arrival in EWT. Ultimo: Wow! I thought maybe you had more sense than that other guy. They beat a couple of Nintendo freaks BEFORE those jamokes developed anything resembling a serious attitude. That's barely an achievement to be proud of, pal!
*Sean gets to the top rope & flies off, knocking Big down with a missile dropkick. Sean then quickly goes for a standing Moonsault onto Big, followed by a standing SSP. None of which have much effect; after all, Big is more than twice Sean's weight. Big throws Sean off "with authority" following the standing SSP & catches the high-flyer with a chokeslam. Big admires his handiwork for a moment & goes to lift Sean up again, but Sean begins fighting back. Once on his feet, Sean delivers a drokick to Big's knees, bringing the big man down a bit. As Big sits on one knee, Sean takes a run at him & knocks Big on the side of his head with a running knee strike. Sean goes for a cover...*
1...
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KICKOUT! *Sean aims to keep Big grounded & does so with a quick Mushroom Stomp onto Big's chest. Sean moves towards a corner & waits for Big to get to his feet. Once Big has done so, Sean leaps from the top with a Tornado DDT. Big is down again & Sean goes for another cover...*
1...
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KICKOUT!
Russ: Incredible! How is Mr. Big consistently able to kick out of those moves? Most of those would've been enough to finish off a lot of other guys in any organisation, let alone EWT. Ultimo: Uh, HELLO?! Those Celtics have NEVER faced a team the calibre of Ultimo Dragon! And, FYI, there’s no damn way either myself or The Daryl Dragon would fall to any of their feeble shenanigans! Ain't that right Daryl? The Daryl Dragon: What lives in the jungle and keeps your head warm? An Amazon hat! Ultimo:… Yeah, right on, brother.
*Sean tries dragging Big to the Team Ireland corner, with little success. Big gets to his feet & shoves Sean away before going back to his own corner & tagging in Curly. Sean starts laughing, saying "What? You're supposed to be a threat?" Curly isn't amused & headbutts Sean in the gut & trips him up. Sean is lying face down on the mat & Curly walks all over Sean's back as if proving some sort of point. Curly then runs the ropes & delivers a baseball slide into Sean's ribs. Curly then performs a Senton onto Sean's back before rolling him over for a cover.*
1…
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DONNELLY BREAKS UP THE PIN. *As the referee instructs Aidan to get out of the ring, Mr. Big enters & he & Curly stomp away at Sean's body. Big claps his hands together just before the referee turns around in order to give the impression that Curly tagged him in. Big drags Sean to his feet, but McCann surprises Big with a Dropsault. Sean leaps to his own corner & makes the tag to Aidan. Aidan, still unhappy about having to face Big makes his way into the ring.*
Russ: Aidan's usual array of suplexes won’t do him much good against a man the size of Mr. Big. East: Donnelly's got to rely on his mat wrestling ability here & really try to keep Mr. Big down. If he can manage to keep the Big man off his feet, Aidan will have this match in his grasp.
*Aidan gingerly approaches Mr. Big &, as Big sits up, Aidan utilises a similar approach as Sean did earlier. Donnelly runs the ropes & crashes into Big with a double-footed dropkick to the face. Big moves to get up again & Donnelly hits him with a dropkick to the back. Big finally gets to his feet & Aidan elbows Big in the gut. With Big doubled over, Aidan hits a DDT & goes for a pin…*
1…
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KICKOUT!
*Aidan is getting a little frustrated at his inability to effectively finish off Mr. Big. He waits for Big to get to his feet, then knees him in the stomach. Aidan hooks the doubled over Big's arm & tries to heft him up for a suplex.*
Russ: Is Donnelly out of his mind? There's no way he'll ever be able to lift Mr. Big. East: Aidan is deceptively strong, Nick. Don’t sell him short.
*Donnelly tries & tries, he gets Mr. Big a few inches off the ground, but nothing more. Aidan's strength is drained & he falls down to his knees.*
Ultimo: HA! What a maroon! That geek seriously thought he could heft the Umberhulk there up for a suplex? He must've been smoking some serious sh*t before they came out for this match!
*O'Hare shouts words of encouragement to his team & words of abuse to Midget King & Co. from the sidelines. The referee turns around to deal with Team Ireland's rowdy manager &, in doing so, gives O'Hare the opportunity to throw his Hurley into the ring. Aidan catches it & swings for Mr. Big, but Curly Long has caught one end of the Hurley & is trying to wrest it from Aidan's grasp. Sean McCann tries to take out the "VLB", but McCann has underestimated Curly's strength. He tugs & pulls at Curly, but Long just won't let go of the Hurley. Aidan lets go of the end of the Hurley that he was holding & Curly, Sean as well as the Hurley all go crashing into the referee who, in turn, knocks O'Hare off the apron. O'Hare's ungraceful fall from the apron raises a laugh from Ultimo. Aidan was so pre-occupied with the tug-o-war over the Hurley he forgot all about Mr. Big. Big stands behind Aidan cracking his knuckles, as soon as Aidan turns around Big knees him in the gut & drives him to the mat with a huge Powerbomb & goes for a cover… but the ref still isn't fully revived. Just then, "The Celtic Giant" Shane Malone makes an appearance, entering through the crowd. As Big gets up to check on the referee, Shane almost Spears him in half. Shane then revives Sean McCann. Lifting Big onto his shoulders (very carefully) Shane signals for Sean to head up top. Sean grabs a hold of Big's head & the two men complete "The Electric Bread Slicer". Shane throws Aidan on top of Big & exits the ring as Sean shakes the referee back to consciousness. Sean then tries to throw Curly outside, but the "VLB" latches onto McCann's face & begins to bite & scratch at the Irishman. Sean provides enough of a distraction that Curly fails to break up the pin on Big. The ref makes the count…*
1…
2…
3! DING-DING-DING!
*"Amhrán na bhFiann" begins to play once again & the referee raises a barley there Aidan's hand. Coach O'Hare drags Curly Long off Sean's face & the two of them slam the Midget King to the ground. The referee hands the Tag-Team titles to O'Hare. The Coach snaps them from the ref's hands & he & Team Ireland move to head back up the ramp.*
Russ: Now I don't know who to cheer for. One could say that Curly Long got what he deserved. For once, someone else cheated the "VLB" out of a victory. Ultimo: You'll know who to cheer for in a moment, boss.
*Curly & Big stand in the ring, pointing & shouting obscenities at the smirking members of Team Ireland. Unbeknownst to Midget King & Co. Ultimo Dragon entered the ring & are standing right behind them. Curly & Big turn around only to be blasted by the duo. Ultimo Dragon rock Big & Curly with a series of rights, whip them off the ropes & clothesline their foes to a rapturous applause. Team Ireland yuk it up at the top of the ramp until they are assaulted from behind by Raskall & Trunk. Both the Hollywood playboy & his bodyguard are wielding weapons; Trunk carries a chair & Raskall has a Singapore Cane in his hands. The duo batter the holy crap out of the four Team Ireland members at the top of the ramp, paying particular attention to Coach O'Hare. Raskall & Trunk make that ol' "title" gesture around their waists. Raskall acknowledges Ultimo Dragon's presence in the ring as Chocula & the Hat freak make "title" gestures themselves. Rick points his Cane down towards the ring, but that fight is for another day.*
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