Post by Smarky on Jul 9, 2007 20:12:06 GMT -5
The Noose by The Offspring hits the arena PA as Smarky steps out onto the entrance ramp. He poses for a moment, then pauses and slaps the side of his head, knocking some seawater out of his ears. He groans and keeps moving to the ring while being met with very little reaction.
Smarky: [Grabbing a mic] OK, I guess I have some explaining to do for you people. As most of you know, I was doing my best to make an impact upon my debut by joining up with Minipax. Long story short, it didn't pan out exactly how I wanted it to. For example, I cannot legally come within 100 feet of Joe One for the rest of the year. But I digress. After that debacle, I notified Toomi that I'd like to take a bit of a sabbatical to get my head on straight and figure out exactly why I'm here in EWT. So, in lieu of my return, I left to sunny Bognor Regi-
[Smarky pauses again and begins coughing. He gets down on all knees and starts gagging more intensely. EMT's begin to move quickly towards the ring. Smarky begins administiring a Heimlich maneuver on himself. Finally he stands up and spits out a small salmon. He grabs the microphone and continues as if nothing happened]
Smarky: Anyway...what was I talking about? Oh yeah. Bognor Regis. While vacationing...I mean...um...clearning my head, I had an epiphany. If I want to be successful in EWT like I have been in other promotions, I need to get over on my own terms, and if that means starting off at square one, then so be it! And this new chapter in my career begins right now, with my match against Rabid Rick! Rick, I know you're waiting back there, and it's time for the New and Improved Smarky to show his stuff.
[Smarky drops the mic and waits. And waits. 5 minutes pass. Finally, a producer runs down the ramp and into the ring and whispers in Smarky's ear and runs out]
Smarky: [Grabbing the mic quickly] Um...I don't know how to tell you guys this but...apparently Rabid Rick was out hiking today and was attacked by a wild dog....and let's just say that Rabid Rick's name suits him now more than ever. The match has been called off now for obvious reasons. Um...I'll be in the back getting a latte.
[Smarky exits the ring and goes up the entrance ramp still dripping seawater]
Match is a No Contest Thru Irony
Smarky: [Grabbing a mic] OK, I guess I have some explaining to do for you people. As most of you know, I was doing my best to make an impact upon my debut by joining up with Minipax. Long story short, it didn't pan out exactly how I wanted it to. For example, I cannot legally come within 100 feet of Joe One for the rest of the year. But I digress. After that debacle, I notified Toomi that I'd like to take a bit of a sabbatical to get my head on straight and figure out exactly why I'm here in EWT. So, in lieu of my return, I left to sunny Bognor Regi-
[Smarky pauses again and begins coughing. He gets down on all knees and starts gagging more intensely. EMT's begin to move quickly towards the ring. Smarky begins administiring a Heimlich maneuver on himself. Finally he stands up and spits out a small salmon. He grabs the microphone and continues as if nothing happened]
Smarky: Anyway...what was I talking about? Oh yeah. Bognor Regis. While vacationing...I mean...um...clearning my head, I had an epiphany. If I want to be successful in EWT like I have been in other promotions, I need to get over on my own terms, and if that means starting off at square one, then so be it! And this new chapter in my career begins right now, with my match against Rabid Rick! Rick, I know you're waiting back there, and it's time for the New and Improved Smarky to show his stuff.
[Smarky drops the mic and waits. And waits. 5 minutes pass. Finally, a producer runs down the ramp and into the ring and whispers in Smarky's ear and runs out]
Smarky: [Grabbing the mic quickly] Um...I don't know how to tell you guys this but...apparently Rabid Rick was out hiking today and was attacked by a wild dog....and let's just say that Rabid Rick's name suits him now more than ever. The match has been called off now for obvious reasons. Um...I'll be in the back getting a latte.
[Smarky exits the ring and goes up the entrance ramp still dripping seawater]
Match is a No Contest Thru Irony