Maelstrom
AC Slater
The Tide Will Turn!
Posts: 236
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Post by Maelstrom on Aug 15, 2007 11:43:32 GMT -5
Backstage and Maelstrom is in the Aquarium watching recent events on the monitor. On top of the monitor is a letter and a photo of Oceanic and Maelstrom on a beach somewhere. The door to the aquarium opens and Sum Guy walks in. Maelstrom continues watching the screen as B² is announced as the man that has guided Joe One to the EWT Heavyweight title. Maelstrom looks at the screen in surprise and then shakes his head.
MAESLTROM: He's the guys mentor?
Sum Guy takes this moment to announce his presence
SUM GUY: Hello everyone I'm Sum Guy and I like the sea!
MAELSTROM: Great Sum, what do you want?
SUM GUY: Well what with all the exciting things happening around here at the moment I thought I should get your opinion.
MAELSTROM: On what exactly, that?
Maelstrom points at B² breaking into a rap, Sum starts nodding to the beat. At this point Oceanic walks into the aquarium the EWT Tri-State Title on her shoulders. On seeing Sum Guy her mood changes to apathy, she walks over to one of the tanks and throws some food in while Maelstrom finishes.
MAELSTROM: This isn't exciting Sum, this is bad comedy. Do those fools think that B² is going to be able to stop the Maelstrom when I come after Joe One's title? Do they think that large bag of garbage known as Minipax can prevent the flow of the Whirlpool?
SUM GUY: I ... er ...
MAELSTROM: No of course they can't, I was the man that spelt the end of Generation Tech, I was the man that ended Spaz's reign and I am the man that will be the next EWT World Heavyweight champion! ... but
SUM GUY: but what?
MAELSTROM: But there'a a problem, you see before I can do that, we need to take care of two little fish that think they are sharks!
Oceanic walks over to cement the 'We' statement as Maelstrom picks up the letter from on top of the TV.
MAELSTROM: This is Joe One's invitation for a shot at his EWT World Heavyweight Title Sum, which as we all know should belong around my waist! I do intend to use this when the time is right Sum ... That time is not yet though as both Rating and Chance Confidence will cause probelms unless myself and Oceanic drown them first.
Maelstrom places the letter back on top of his monitor
SUM GUY: Yes, well that brings me on too the topic of Ratings and his acomplice Chance Confidence, your thoughts Oceanic?
OCEANIC: Honestly, we should have seen this coming. Ratings and Chance Confidence. Two guys who aim higher than they should and fall flat on their faces, blaming everyone around them for their own demise. If I didn't know any better I'd swear they were the same person. No matter. If they continue to stick their noses where they don't belong we'll see to it that their partnership as succesful as the Time Warner merger.
Sum turns to Maelstrom for his view
MAELSTROM: My thoughts are simple Sum ... Chance Confidence is of no threat to me, I made that man eat steel and taste blood when he faced me in Hell in a Cell! I can tell you for sure he will be feeling those very same things again when I face him in the ring, no matter who he may bring to distract me.
A man dressed like a ninja darts past the door to the aquarium behind them
MAELSTROM: As for Ratings he is going to feel the full terror of the Maelstrom as it comes crashing down around him.
OCEANIC: You know, I've never had the opportunity to thank Ratings for making a pass at me while I was the GM. Maybe it's time to give him a kiss right upside his fat head with my fist.
Sum Guy gets shoved out of the picture as the couple turn to the camera.
OCEANIC: Chance and Ratings, guys like you are a dime a dozen. It's going to take more than a limo and some cheap shots to put us away. Seperatley Maelstrom and I can take both of you chumps out with little problem, but together we can wreck your entire operation in an instant. So the next time you decide you want to be big shots do yourselves a favor. Don't. It won't work out in your favor. Trust us. You're better off not trying at all and retaining the ability to chew your food.
MAELSTROM: The Tide Will Turn!!
(Fade out)
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Aug 15, 2007 13:05:06 GMT -5
*”Elementalcidal” Mike Ragnal is backstage at the EWT Arena, lying down on the bench inside the locker room, in his Cidal attire, save for the red lightning bolt over his eye, which has gone missing. Pretty soon, he sits up, sighs, and then gets to his feet. Just as he walks out of the locker room, he’s halted by Sum Guy.*
SG: Hi, I’m Sum Guy, and pickles are just lovely this time of year. I’m here right now with former EWT World Champion Mike Ragnal, who lost his title recently to Minipax leader, Joe One. Mike how does it feel to have lost the one thing you held dear for almost five months of your EWT career?
*Sum holds the mic up to Mike’s face, expecting an answer…but Mike shoves the mic out of his face, and just shakes his head.*
Mike: Not now, Sum. This isn’t the place for me to speak. That place…if out there…in the ring. And I’m going there right now…
*Mike walks a few feet forward, but then stops, and looks back at Sum.*
Mike:…..Everyone’s in for a shock….
*He then faces forward, and heads off.*
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Aug 15, 2007 13:08:00 GMT -5
*In the arena, H! F00l plays over the speakers as “Elementalcidal” Mike Ragnal walks out to the arena, hearing the fans boo him loud and clear. Not even looking at them, Mike walks down the ramp with a mic in hand, and slides into the ring. The crowd still booing, the former world champion tries to speak.*
Mike: What everyone saw last night…was not a mind trick. It wasn’t an april fool’s joke…it wasn’t a screwup on anyone’s part…and it certainly wasn’t a Russo finish. Folks, what happened last night was the honest to god truth, and you can see that just by looking at my waist.
*He rubs his hand against his shirt by the gut, where his EWT World title would be, if he still had it.*
Mike: Last night, Joe One became EWT World Heavyweight Champion, because that’s who the fans voted to be my opponent. He won the polls…..and he won the title. He is now the high honcho of all the wrestlers. And I know some people are expecting me to challenge for a rematch…but I’m gonna be honest with everyone. Why do I need a rematch? Why do I even need another World title run, huh?
*The crowd stops booing, confused by his words.*
Mike: Okay, yeah, maybe I can become a two-time Triple Crown champion, maybe. I already have two tag titles, two Tri-State titles…and I just got off the runs of what I felt was a great World title run. But to be honest…I don’t think I need a second World title. Because, well…what’s the point? I already became World champion. I don’t need to do it again just to prove my worth, right? The fact that my name is already attached to the World title, the tag belts, Tri-State belt…Joe’s legacy is in the Toolshed belt, while Linda is best remembered as EWT’s first REAL Girl Next Door Champion…the Ragnal name has done it all. We’ve proven ourselves time and again in this company…the fact that our names are all over these belts tells the world we’ve done everything in EWT. Nothing else needs to be accomplished….nothing. With that said…
…There’s nothing left to do…
But retire from EWT.
*The crowd…is now completely silent. They should be booing him, they know…but the sudden shock of news has taken them back. Nobody knows how to react. Ragnal, meanwhile, is looking around, sucking on his lower lip as if he was trying to keep himself from crying. Before he can shed any tears, he drops the mic, and rolls out of the ring. As the camera fades out, and Mike walks up the ramp, a small section of the audience can be heard chanting something…
“PLEASE DON’T GO!”
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Square
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Official Ambassador
Grand Poobah of Scavenger Hunts 2011
Square-Because he looks good at all the right angles.
Posts: 18,700
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Post by Square on Aug 15, 2007 13:21:01 GMT -5
*Sum Guy is standing in front of a EWT banner with a microphone in hand*
Sum Guy: My name is Sum Guy and I once ate 10 hotdogs in 23 minutes and 3 seconds, I would to welcome now one half of the Gaurdinals who sucsefully defeated Virus and Smarky at Old School Andy "The Eagle" Davidson
*Andy Davidson walks into shot, wearing a Preston North End football jersey and jeans, and shakes hands with Sum Guy*
SG: Before we start the interview I just have to say 2-1 TO MORCOUMBE BABY
Andy Davidson: It's not the best idea in the world to make fun of a football fan while he is holding a weapon he is very of fond of using.
SG: Right, now first thing first how is John "The Lion" Valentine after that attack after the match from Virus
AD: Im not a doctor but he seems ok, he was just knocked out
SG: But one question is why didn't Virus chokeslam Amnestria through the table?
AD: I'm not sure, I know there is past between Virus, Amnestria and John but all I know is a few stories from John if you want answers about that ask him
SG: Now how about yourself Smarky beat you like a donkey after the match
AD: Well it hurt but Im ok after the Oldschool beating, BUT the attack before that after my match with the Harris Twins he made me bleed with my own weapon and he left scars on my forehead. Get a shot of them...
*The camera zooms into Davidson's forehead and nasty raw cuts are shown*
AD:... the doctors found 14 diffrent pieces of wood in my head after the attack and I needed a few stiches, Smarky attacked me with my own weapon and thats not good. When someone makes you bleed your own blood you look for revenge and Smarky I shall get my revenge and I shall get your blood!
*Davidson snaps the snooker cue into two and points the jagged end at the camera*
AD: I dont make idol threats, I simply make promises
*Davidson swings the cue at the banner behind him ripping a hole in it and walks off*
*Fade Out*
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Spectre
Mike the Goon
"The echo of a point in time..."
Posts: 44
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Post by Spectre on Aug 15, 2007 15:53:48 GMT -5
-A short clip montage shows highlights from Spectre vs. Hensley at Old School, ending with Spectre grabbing Hensley's near-unconscious hand, shaking it, and vanishing towards the back. Coming back to present time, Spectre, this time stationed in a back hallway and watching a small monitor, is approached by Sum Guy.-
SG: I'm Sum Guy, and I read a LOT of Nancy Drew! ...I'm sorry, I shouldn't lie, I can't really read very well. But that's not important! I still think I can solve the mystery of Spectre!
-Spectre is seen doing stretching exercises, as if he is constantly in a state of preparation for his next match.-
SG: Mr. Spectre? You've got a match with Triple X member Elix Skipper coming up, but what was up with you at the end of your match at Old School?
-Spectre snaps his head around, gazing through the holes in his mask towards Sum.-
SG: Um...uh (completely nervous)...I mean, Hardcore Hensley hit you with a chair, and then you shook his hand, like you did with AJ Styles and Jimmy Yang? Why?
(Spectre moves slowly towards Sum, gently takes the mic from his hand. Sum just looks, kind of scared, at the masked man...and Spectre gives him a quick shove aside. He looks at the mic, and drops it. For the first time, he seems ready to speak more than a few words)
Spectre: (voice still low, kind of raspy) On the one hand, I applaud you, Hensley. You took so much pride in what you were all about in the ring, that you took my blatant disrespect as hard as a man of principle should. Bravo. That is why I shook your hand. Any matters I could have had with you are settled, and now history.
But...on the other hand...you were given a match format, "Old School rules", as it were. You could not compete within those parameters. Hensley, you failed. You failed, just as so many in the EWT have before you.
Understand, EWT, I have been watching, but not without purpose. I see many things in this company. I see heart, skill, and drive...but I also see a marsh of incompetence, egomania, and pure, simple ignorance.
How many in this company can truly say they are worthy of the positions they are in? How man can look at the titles they hold, and say "I've earned this, I am truly a champion"? How many can step into the ring with a true-born fighting machine, and hope to survive more than a few meager moments?
There are some. You do exist, and most of you know who you are. Know this: I am keeping an eye not just on you, but on all who step through those curtains, and enter the ring.
Also know this: when I come for you, do not underestimate me. Do not expect repetition. Do not expect patterns. Do not expect a set "finisher", or anything in my fighting style that you, as hapless beginners, could hope to decipher.
I have my eyes on all of you...and you will know when your moments come.
(Turns around, begins to walk away...stops short, and turns back)
And if you're expecting some sort of catchphrase...
(pause...then continues walking away)
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Post by liontamer12 on Aug 15, 2007 16:28:35 GMT -5
We open to Sum Guy, adjusting his outfit and taking a break from his numerous previous interviews. Sum Guy sits on a few crates in front of the camera to relax when all of a sudden The Lion blasts toward Sum Guy, picking him up by his collar. The face of Valentine cannot be seen only his voice and the fearful, quivering form of Sum Guy.
The Lion: I will take the mic this time.
Valentine grabs the mic offered by Sum Guy and drops Sum Guy back to his feet. Sum Guy runs as fast as his little legs can carry him and Valentine turns around. The faint noise of the crowd changes from idle chatter to a gasp in shock and soon, silence. We see a man in John Valentine's clothing....but his face is painted in the black and white of Sting. He gnarls his teeth and puts the mic to his blackened lips.
The Lion: VIRUS! You son of a b****! You think you can run away from this?! You think you can escape your past?!
Amnestria steps into the shot behind Valentine's left shoulder. She too is clad in black with deep black make-up around her eyes and her lips blackened.
The Lion: Your past is HERE! You remember me? You do don't you? Remember after every time we wrestled you had the paint from this mask on your hands? You remember your hands covered in paint when you did what you did....the incident. You can 't escape it! It's here and it's waiting for you!
Valentine throws the mic at the camera and puts his arm around Amnestria's waist. They both walk out of the shot, Amnestria looking at Valentine and the camera fades to black.
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Aug 15, 2007 20:19:02 GMT -5
*Toom E Dangerously comes barging into his office as dorf is standing with the Construction Forman.*
dorf: Toom, Toom, Toom...I am so glad to see you. I heard about your blow out...I hope your Ok. Do you know what caused it? I was concerned.
Toom E: Shut up dorf. Shut up now. Listen to me & listen good. You may be 50% owner now thanks to this garbage that my lawyers screwed up, but you are not in charge. I founded this company on my own without you. And remember, if it wasn't for me...you would still be a damn ghost.
dorf: Um, actually...I am in charge with you. That's what ownership means. And you will NEVER believe this idea I have. See, we need ANOTHER pay per view. Afterall, Mike Ragnal just announced his retirement...DO YOU NOT SEE THE MONEY THERE? Money is good & good is ratings. And I have this AWESOME IDEA!!!
Toom E: Ok genius...what exactly do you plan on calling this pay per view?
dorf: See, you're seeing it my way now. But the thing is...we're calling it The Skies The Limit II.
Toom E: Very original dorf. Very original. And when do you propse this happens?
dorf: September 12th, 2007!!!
Toom E: What are you, crazy? A Wednesday pay per view? That's the middle of the week!!!
dorf: Yes...and it always has been the middle of the week. And that will bring more money when folks wanna see if EWT is crazy enough to pull out all the stops for a Wednesday. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to help with finishing touches on my office.
*dorf walks away with the foreman as Toom E stands there with a look of disgust on his face.*
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Post by Hulkshi Tanahashi on Aug 15, 2007 20:53:30 GMT -5
Jeremy Borash: Our next match is scheduled for one fall. *Bell rings. Kevin Nash’s music plays.* Borash: Coming down to the ring, at 6 foot 11 inch, and weighting 322 lbs, from Detroit, Michigan—KEVIN NASH. *Nash comes out to some cheers, walks down to the ring, and enters it.* Mike Tenay: And, we are set for action between Kevin Nash and “The Comedian” Bobby Riggs. Don West: I can’t wait! This should be an exciting and incredible match! *The Comedian's music plays.* www.youtube.com/watch?v=2a423fqOrpA Borash: And, his opponent, coming down to the ring, at 6 foot 6 inches, and weighing 290 lbs, from Los Angeles, CA: “THE COMEDIAN” BOBBY RIGGS. *The music plays for awhile, but the Comedian doesn’t come.* Tenay: Wait! Where’s the Comedian!? Is he coming!? West: Well, that would suck! I was looking forward to an exciting and incredible match! *Suddenly, the Comedian’s music stops, and Diesel’s old entrance music plays. The Comedian comes out, wearing the outfit Nash wore when he was Diesel in the WWF and a long black wig and fake goatee. The crowd boos him as he comes to the ring.* Tenay: I don’t believe this! He’s coming out dressed as Diesel, Kevin Nash’s old persona when he was WWF Champion! West: That ain’t right, Tenay! IT JUST AIN’T RIGHT!!!! *As the Comedian enters the ring, he is attacked by Nash. The bell rings. Nash places Riggs against the ropes and punches him a few more times.* Tenay: It looks like Nash is going to so Riggs that imitation ISN’T the sincerest form of flattery! West: Yeah! That’ll teach Riggs to be disrespectful. *Then, Nash whips Riggs across the ring. As he come running back, Nash hits the Comedian with a big boot that also sends Nash to the mat.* West: BIG BOOT IN THE FAAAACCCCE!!!! Tenay: But, Nash is down as well. *Nash is on the mat, grabbing his right knee and writhing in pain.* Tenay: It looks like he has hurt his knee. West: Well, it looks like this match as come to an abrupt end. *The ref calls for the paramedics to come out. They do and help Nash to the back. Soon, the Comedian gets up and sees Nash taken to the back by the paramedics. He calls for a microphone and is handed one by Borash.* Comedian: ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!? Nash got injured again! DAMMIT!!!! I bought this outfit just for this match! *pulls off the wig and goatee* And, do you know how long it took me to get this wig and goatee in place so they wouldn’t fall off! DAMMIT!!!! I’m pissed! I was suppose to have a match, and I am damn well going to have one! So, someone come out here! ANYBODY! Come out here right NOW, and WRESTLE ME!!!! Tenay: The Comedian has made an open challenge! West: This should be interesting! I wonder who will come out! *After a minute or two, the Brooklyn Brawler comes out.* Comedian: OH GOD!!!! YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!! Tenay: He doesn’t seem too happy! *The Brawler enters the ring.* Comedian: YOU!!!! Have you ever won a match!? Ah, screw it! You’ll do! Ring the bell! *The bell rings as the Comedian violently shoves the mic into the ref’s chest. The Brawler charges at him, but Riggs kicks him in the stomach. Then, he hits the Brawler with an inverted atomic drop and a discus punch.* Tenay: It’s the Setup and the Punchline! West: IN THE FAAAACCCCE!!!! *Riggs then picks up the Brawler and whips him into the corner. Then, he comes charging at the Brawling and hits him with a running big boot.* West: IN THE FAAAACCCCE!!!! AGAIN!!!! Tenay: This one should be over soon. *Riggs begins to chop the Brawler’s chest a few times. Then, he rips the Brawler’s shirt to get a bigger effect, but when he does, there is a black spot on the Brawler’s chest. The Comedian is taken aback by this. Suddenly, the Brawler pushes Riggs to the mat, and he rolls across the ring. The Brawler now has this evil look on his face.* Tenay: What a sudden burst of strength from the Brooklyn Brawler! West: But, what is that black spot on his chest? Tenay: I don’t know, Don. But, look at his face—it looks like the Brawler is possessed. *Riggs gets up and then charges at the Brawler. As the Comedian runs to the Brawler, he leans toward the ground and hits a Spinning Wheel Kick out of nowhere, with the boot heel hitting Riggs’s face. The Comedian goes down. Then, the Brawler picks up Riggs. Then, he places the Comedian's head between his legs and crosses his opponent's arms on their chest. He then, in a Pedigree-esque fashion, jumps in the air while locking his hands to the opposites of his opponent's hands. Then, while in the air, he pulls the hands of his opponent forcing them into upside down position, which drives them down into a Cross-Arm Sitout Piledriver with extra height. Then, the Brawler and just stands* Tenay: You know, those moves the Brawler did look familiar. Where have I seen them before? West: I don’t know, but the Brawler is just standing in the ring. Why doesn’t he go for the pin? *Suddenly, the Brawler shakes his. He looks around in confusion, not know what has happened. He then sees Riggs on the mat and goes for a cover.* Ref: 1…2…3.*The bell rings.* Borash: Here is your winner—THE BROOKLYN BRAWLER!!!! *The Brawler jumps up and runs around the ring is excitement. And, the Comedian is still on the mat.* West: I DON’T BELIEVE IT!!!! THE BRAWLER!!!! Tenay: But, what happened to him? It looked like some unknown force took control of him! West: I have NO idea, and frankly, I don’t want to know! Tenay: And, the Comedian is still down! What is going on!? *The Brawler exits the ring, still excited about the win. The Comedian is still lying on the mat. Suddenly, the arena goes dark. Then, a bluish light surrounds the ring, and water pours down on the rings like it’s raining.* West: IT’S RAINING IN THE RING!!!! Tenay: And, there’s a blue light surrounding the ring! I don’t the look of this, Don. *The Comedian begins to stir around. He wipes his hand over face and notices the rain. Riggs quickly gets up and looks around in confusion. Then, he exits the ring. When he does, the rain and blue light follow him.* Tenay: The rain and light are FOLLOWING THE COMEDIAN, Don! West: This is bad! This is really bad! *The Comedian looks a little scared and runs off as the light and rain follow him. Then, we fade to a commercial.*
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Ass Dan
King Koopa
Curious about extra lines
Have you seen me?
Posts: 12,259
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Post by Ass Dan on Aug 15, 2007 21:49:28 GMT -5
¢
£
A
¥
"No One Knows" by Queens of the Stone Age begins as the monetary symbols flash up on the ToomiTron. Richard Clay comes from the back, EWT Stable title in hand.
Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, representing the EWT Stable Champions Minipax, from Cash Mountain, weighing in at 262 lbs., Richard Clay!
The crowd boos Clay, smirking to the audience.
Announcer: And his opponent, already in the ring, from Detroit, Michigan, weighing in at 180 lbs., D-Ray 3000!
D-Ray gives his best dance moves as the crowd gives him a small pop. Clay walks into the ring, shaking his head. He takes off his vest and belt, and sets it on the side of the ring. The refferee motions for the bell.
*ding ding ding*
D-Ray immediatly starts doing a 3-step. Clay steps back, confused at the situation. D-Ray lands a Pike, and recoils to a standing position, which gets much applause from the audience.
Clay puts his hand on chin, thinking about what just happened. Suddenly, he does a Coin Drop, starting a Ball and Chain. D-Ray is in shock at what is happening. Clay launches into a Flare, turns it into a 90s, goes back into a Flare, goes through a Rocket into a Halo, hits an Applejack, and lands a Fly and Roll before geting back to his feet. He then walks up to D-Ray 3000 and slaps him in the face.
D-Ray 3000 pauses, and then falls down. Clay covers.
1!
2!
3!
*ding ding ding*
Announcer: Here is your winner, Richard Clay!
The referee raises Clay's hand, but Clay pulls his hand back and gets in D-Ray's face to say 'That's how you ball, b****!' The referee tells Clay to take it easy, which Clay does, to some resistance. He grabs his belt as we...
*GO TO COMMERCIAL*
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TJT
AC Slater
It's fun to be perfect.
Posts: 109
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Post by TJT on Aug 15, 2007 23:14:14 GMT -5
*Backstage, the camera is at floor level, and two pairs of feet in men's shoes, and one pair in women's high heels, pass by, the echo of the sound resonating around the camera. One of these people seems to be on a cell phone. It is a male voice.*
"Yeah, Mr. Harriston, I'll rent the Jaguar out to you for a month, I've recently purchased a new vehicle to commemorate the big win, so it seems that will be used instead. Oh yeah, and if you've got some spare time, turn EWT on. Big announcement in the near future. Okay yeah, see ya Rick."
*He hangs up and the footsteps becoming less loud, trailing off as the camera fades out.*
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TJT
AC Slater
It's fun to be perfect.
Posts: 109
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Post by TJT on Aug 15, 2007 23:31:18 GMT -5
*The camera fades into the EWT arena, facing the stage. The crowd is abuzz, until “Peace Sells” by Megadeth begins to play over the speakers, and in an INSTANT, overwhelming boos start to resonate throughout the entire arena. The lights go out, replaced with the familiar strobes and multicolor lights. Instead of the usual Jaguar coming out however, a limo (tough to tell if it’s white or silver) rolls out onto the stage, attracting even more boos. It parks at the top of the stage, and suddenly, a door in the back passenger area swings right open. The boos get even louder, and it becomes clear who it is that is stepping out. Jimmy Thunder, in his usual ring attire and gear (except for a striking designer polo shirt, which isn’t normal attire at all) steps out, and EWT World Tag Team Championship title around his waist. Terina follows, in high heels, white gown fit for a modern party, and a gold, ruby-decorated tiara cresting a swirl of her rich brown hair. Next out is Jason Jupiter, also in familiar ring gear, jacket, etc. (AND polo, like his partner), and has his EWT World Tag Team Championship belt loosely hung around his waist, hanging down in a casual fashion. With a man on each side, the trio slowly and proudly walk down to the ring. Upon reaching the ring, Thunder and Jupiter slide in from opposite sides. Terina sits on the apron, lifts up both arms, each one being grasped one of her teammates. They help her in the ring, and something else becomes more visible: a big brown wooden podium with a massive microphone extended like an elastic arm. As they approach it, the lights revert to normal, and the crowd slowly settles down, as the music fades out.
*Jimmy Thunder steps up to the podium, holding the microphone attached to it next to his face. He clears throat and lowers his sunglasses ever so slightly.*
Thunder: Ladies and gentlemen, you MIGHT be wondering what we're doing out here. Well, allow me to clear that up. Given what happened at Old School, a LOT has transpired lately. *he pulls a notepad out of his trenchcoat and begins to read it* First of all...stock in Thunder Corporation has risen from $43.69, to $51.33! WOO! Stock in Golden Herald Brands...that's Jason's company, folks...$29.11, to $40.25! BIG jump there. And uh...I'm not going to use her last name...but Terina's company went from $36.45 to $43.86! Big boosts all across the board. So on the business side...I'm Jimmy Thunder, and that's...hmmm...I don't know the name, really....but the point is, well, WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP! So is the rest of Minipax. Joe One secured the EWT World Heavyweight Championship, and BB was revealed. What do I have to say? It’s great that you won the World Title, Joe. And um…that’s really all there is to say. *he makes an uncertain frown*
* His partners applauding among the boos, Jim steps away from the podium, and to the left of Terina. With Jimmy Thunder on the left side, and Jason Jupiter on the right, Terina steps up to the podium. Thunder leans over, adjusting the microphone to fit her position best, and after a slight breath, she begins to talk.*
Terina: Ahem. Last night at Old School, something great happened. Something monumental. Something that, if I can speak for my two men, will shape EWT, and perhaps ALL of wrestling. These two men: Jimmy Thunder; Jason Jupiter. They are the epitome of many things. Style. Technique. Class. Comeliness. Cleanliness. Cohesion. Dominance. Finesse. And perfection, just to name a minimal few.
*Jupiter nods, placing his tag title belt over his left shoulder and looking back, sneering at the crowd. He turns back, facing in the same direction as his comrades. Thunder cracks a smile.*
Terina: Now I…I lost. *scowls* I was unable to get to the finals of the GND Championship Tournament. I was unable to reach the top. I was unable to get what I want. It was a FLUKE. And you can be sure that I’ll climb my way back up. I WILL get that GND Championship. Perhaps, this is for the best. I’ll have more time to study my opponents. And after that match, I believe I have almost completed that. There is ONE more adversary that I need to study. ONE more. Who? You’ll see. *her face returns to a smile* But that aside, something much greater has happened. As I stated, my boys have gotten something that is BEFITTING of them. Championship gold. Now I need the list.
*A fellow in a purple suit, purple, glitzy cowboy hat, with long, pale blue hair and pink sunglasses, shiny black shoes and tie, and jet black gloves, comes walking out of the limo with a scroll and a manila folder. As he climbs into the ring, he dusts himself off.*
Terina: Hello Hal, glad you could join us.
Hal: Oh, anything for my favorite, most beautiful clients!
*He places the folder on the podium with the scroll in one hand, clutches one of Terina’s hands, giving it a kiss as she lets off a girlish giggle. He shakes the hands of Thunder and Jupiter, hugging both of them (though they seem slightly startled), and pinning microphones to their leather trenchcoats, the threads of the golden epaulettes dancing feverishly upon their broad shoulders. The two say something inaudible to him, as he takes a position far behind, but visibly between Terina and Jimmy. Placing his hands (and the scroll) behind his back, Hal smiles.*
Terina: *opens the folder, reading the papers* Now, the next bit I’m going to read from a few papers, because producing all of this from my mind, would be, well, borderline impossible. In any case, the story of EWT’s World Tag Team Championships is a long one. It started humbly enough, as a regular old pair of championships. DSR and Shark Boy were the first to have these belts, winning them at Stairway to Hardcore Heaven. The belts changed hands a lot back then. Mprox and Da Crapper. HBH and Gasoline. The Insiders. For a while, it got crazy. In a number of these insane reigns, DSR would get the belts with uh…”insert name here.” A-Bomb. Stevie Richards. Moxie. Kamala. The belts would be held by many. Then some bigger names got the belts. JZ and Ape. The Nyrds. You know Nyrds, defeating you guys have taught us a lot. You’ve tought us that even legendary teams are no match for us. How’s THAT?! Oh well, being bested by the absolute best…
*Thunder and Jupiter look at her, smirking and nodding. They lift their tag belts up, hoisting them high in the air, and wrap them back around their waists.*
Terina: …I suppose…it’s really not a disgrace. *she shrugs* HBH and Limey got the belts next. HBH and Limey. That’s an odd couple of title holders. They didn’t even get along! And they ended up getting the tag titles. That’s ridiculous. What happened to Limey? He disappeared one day, never to be seen again. Hmm, maybe he’s the Sasquatch. Always here, there, everywhere, and just when you think he’ll be around, BAM. He’s gone. Certainly ugly enough for it…
*deafening boos can be heard, across the arena*
Terina: Oh well, not all of us are the envy of angels and masterpieces of art alike. Michelangelo’s David is horrendous, now that I think about it. What’s so great about a big, grey naked man with a dumb look on his face and a **** the size of a grain of rice? I’m attacking untalented artists…I’m really digressing here. Forgive me, perfection DOES occasionally get into a bad light. The Ragnals followed. Oh, what can be said. And look at Mike Ragnal, what a failure now. Not even able to protect his title, and just when things look bad for him…*sigh*…he decides he’s retiring. I want my two boys to face you in a handicap match again, maybe we can give you a broken leg or neck as a going away present. That’s something you can dwell on. ANYHOO, Curly and Big followed. That midget offset that monster, and those failures we know as the Ragnals got another reign! Preposterous! Next is the Handsome Boy…Modeling…School. *she gives a “WTF?” expression.*
*Hal can be audibly heard, yelling…”I LOVE that name!!!”*
Terina: ….In any case…*she flips the paper*…the titles were lost to the team we know…as Prophecy Reborn. Prophecy Reborn, hats off to you. It was an immortal day. Defending in Japan, they did something that was long overdue! They made the EWT Tag Team Championships…WORLD Tag Team Championships.
*Terina holds a hand up to a microphone, snapping a finger into it and pointing at the Toomitron. Thunder, Jupiter, Terina, and Hal, all look at the massive screen. It cuts to a familiar sight…*
<Marufuji drags him off! He picks Moxie up, hoping to pitch him over the top rope, but Moxie lands on the apron. Marufuji leaps after him, jumping over the top rope, and the two men come to blows on the apron! Back and forth, back and forth, Marufuji swings…Moxie grabs him! Hefts him up for a suplex->
DP: <almost screeching> BRAINBUSTAAAAAH ON THE APRON FROM MOXIE!
<Marufuji collapses to the outside, dazed and confused.>
<Inside the ring, Moxie tries for a cover on KENTA, who quickly grabs the ropes. He gives a cuthroat signal to the crowd…another brainbuster! He lifts up KENTA…who escapes! Picks Moxie up….GO 2 SLEEP! He pulls it off, knee into Moxie’s face! This’ll be it->
<NO! Hmark is up! KENTA spins around right into a Dragon’s Wings! COVER!>
1!
2!
3!
<The bell finally rings, and all four men are beaten to a pulp.>
Announcer: The winnahs of this bout, and still Extreme Wrestlecrapu Threaderation Tag Team Champioooooons, Prophecy Reborn-u!
<“Clint Eastwood” plays as Auraelia checks on her guys. Within a couple minutes, all four men are back to their feet. They stand facing one another…when the PR gives the two challengers a bow of respect. The challengers, appreciative, extend their hands. A handshake and embrace later, and the crowd applauds the respect being shown.>
DP: There you have it, folks! The EWT Tag Team Titles have been defended outside of the United States for the first time ever, and are now officially the EWT WORLD Tag Team Titles!
LL: History being made before our very eyes; now it’s ‘bout time the champs got their asses back to the States, and let’s see ourselves a real Scaffolds/Tables match at Skies the Limit!
*The screen fades to black, and the people in the ring return to their positions.*
Terina: That was an important day. It set the standard for these belts! However, they were stripped of their titles because, while they did the unthinkable, they failed to make a PPV defense. *sigh* The Sunshine Squad won a tournament for the titles later on…and those pathetic excuses for wrestlers were defeated on the SAME night by another team…TEAM IRELAND.
*Thunder pulls out a hand mirror, admiring himself, while Jupiter polishes his championship belt with a monogrammed Egyptian cotton cloth.*
Terina: Team Ireland, and I’ll give them full credit, is the ONLY team to have defeated us in any TRUE match. It was by DQ, a COMPLETE fluke. Alas, we still lost this early encounter, but Team Ireland…next time we meet…you will NOT be so lucky!
*The three of TJT scowl, and quickly resume to normal*
Terina: For the longest time, they defeated all comers. Raskall and Trunk, and Curly Long and Mr. Big being the most famous of these teams…but they failed to win the titles. Team Ireland seemed to have an ironclad grip on the belts, until they were won by Dorf…and Ape Love. Huh. I reeeeeeally have nothing to say, as THIS was a fluke win.
Thunder: Basta, to that team!
Terina: In any case, their “worth” was proven when they lost the titles in a TLC Gauntlet to…the…Cidal…Squad. *shudder*
Jupiter: Not many teams make me want to heave. But the Cidal Squad. Oh yeah. They did. Of course, they reinforced the status of the Tag Titles, but still…
Thunder: They have been…odd opponents.
Terina: The Nyrds haven’t been particularly focused recently, more power to them. They were easy to dispatch, if you noticed. ANYWAAAAAAAAAAAAY…The Cidal Squad miraculously evaded our inescapable victory, At The Soundless Dawn…but at Old School…they were not so lucky. They have been OUSTED. Oh sure, they DID hijack the titles.
Jupiter: They DID maim many a challengers’ chances before they could even ASK for a challenge…
Thunder: But they were NEVER ruling over anything. WE’RE the ones who everyone stared at, drooled over, envied, respected, loved!
Jupiter: We’re the saviors of this division! Whether you like us or not, we have created a NEW era. It’s always been on the brink, but now it’s ready.
Terina: You’ve got that right, Jason!
*Jason smiles smugly, feeling proud of his self*
Terina: This is a new era. It is one that shall be governed by the forces of perfection. Men who are not mere mortals…more of…..Gods!
*Thunder and Jupiter hold their belts in front of them, striking poses that look to be out of the book of a bizarre Japanese conceptual artist, and cheesy expressions gracing their faces.*
Terina: Absolute deities? I think so. Look at their talents. Look at their perfection. They have NEVER been pinned in EWT. NEVER. They have never given up. NOT EVER, NEVER!
*The two men, with their titles in hand, continue to strike more poses*
Terina: That should say enough. But as you can PLAINLY see, THEY brandish the EWT WORLD Tag Team Championship Title Belts! THEY hold it, and NOBODY else!!! Do you understand? You better. That is ENOUGH reason. *she smiles, and lets off an innocent giggle* Now, if you notice my friend Hal Jaerak, he is holding a scroll. Hal, step up here, and unfurl it.
Hal: As you wish, madam.
*Hal marches up to the podium, standing to Terina’s side and opening up the scroll.*
Terina: I have spoken my peace, and it is now Jason’s turn to take the main microphone.
*As Terina backs up, Jason steps up, lowering his obsidian aviator sunglasses, and begins reading off the scroll.*
Jupiter: “The Manifesto of TJT. Written By: Jason Jupiter.
*All four smile*
Jupiter: “In the event that this is being read, an event of great nobility, and paramount excellence, has been reached. The teaming of Jason Jupiter, and his partner, James Thunder, have secured for the good of the Universe itself, the EWT World Tag Team Championships. Now that this has been reached, a new goal must be set: A goal, that is a Revolution.
The GLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORIOUS REVOLUTION!
The Glorious Revolution must be reached at all costs, for better or worse. It is a chance, a declaration and attempt, to bring life to the EWT World Tag Team Championship title picture and to make the division itself…a division…REBORN! To achieve this, a number of glorious goals have been set within this ultimate goal within itself. Many teams exist within the division, divided by wants, needs, war, peace, and perhaps, simply biding one’s time for the sake of any potential events. However, this shall be remedied HENCEFORTH!
The Glorious Revolution must begin with simple enough parameters. For the sake of starting off, the defending team—in this case, none other than TJT—must be willing to defend against any and all teams that have stakes in the division, and interest of gaining prestige through winning the titles. That includes challengers outside of, and within, the Extreme Wrestlecrap Threaderation. Every team. No matter how big, how small, how powerful, how weak, how technical, how insufficient, how amazing, how impotent. This shall be done on a weekly basis. In this case, we promise, to choose from random, many teams that are official and current EWT roster members. That is correct, from random. No matter what their standing is, a title shot is theirs. EVERY team must receive a shot at some point—no team may be dodged forever. That shall put to rest any rumors of cowardice, fright, and other pathetic, petty insults that while they are obviously not true…but as one must know, they must not be allowed to live. They must be quashed, and via this method, it may be accomplished.
The Glorious Revolution has a second phase. In this phase, the defending team, upon victory—TJT—is left in a predicament of which they have no challengers for the belt, currently. How shall this situation be solved? The solution is quite simple. We henceforth issue…
AN OPEN CHALLENGE!
The Glorious Revolution permits this:
‘Any team out there, while we suggest that you heed our warning of technical proficiency, may challenge for these titles, and in the event of more than one challenger, A TEAM NAME SHALL BE DRAWN FROM A RAFFLE, AT ABSOLUTE RANDOM. The successful team receives Number 1 Contendership until the end of the next Pay Per View Event. They are guaranteed, under ALL circumstances, a championship match. They MUST receive one during this time period: at least one, and this guaranteed match is to be wrestled…at the following Pay Per View Event.’
*Behind him, Terina can be seen with her eyes closed, facing Hal Jaerak. With a small kit of combs, he can be seen fixing her hair, and with a tiny mirror, allowing her to see her face, so that everything is perfect*
The Glorious Revolution has a backup plan, just for all of the teams that were unable to receive the Number 1 Contendership. All teams that failed to win the random drawing will EACH have a chance to compete for the Number 1 Contendership. Their names will be randomly drawn as well, and in each team will be placed, in order, corresponding to the order that they were drawn. Placed for…a Gauntlet Match. This match will award the winner, whomever they are, with the Number 1 Contendership, under the same conditions as the winner of the Open Challenge Random Drawing. As such, they will also have Number 1 Contendership until the next Pay Per View Event, and they too, are guaranteed a title shot at that event. They too, may receive more. But the Pay Per View Event, is an absolute, concrete, guaranteed time for the challenge for the EWT World Tag Team Titles. Anything past this…shall be decided as it goes along.
*Thunder looks at the audience, opening his mouth dropping his tongue as though he were a rocker*
The Glorious Revolution possesses a THIRD phase as well. While this phase is much less specific than the other phases, we will assure you, to keep the championships prolific, that TJT will appear at LEAST once a week. No matter what the circumstances are, this is an absolute guarantee. Unless there is an event such as death, dismemberment, illness, marriage, vacation, or anything else that is considered necessary and proper. This last statement to ensure that there is some reasonable space to avoid impeding upon certain situations of varying importance. In any event, the statement that is specifically about the ‘At least one appearance a week…’ has been made, and we assure you, it shall not be denied, unless one of the aforementioned instances is to occur.
The Glorious Revolution is not all that is presented. While it is the plan to revitalize the Tag Team Division, The Manifesto of TJT also declares that:
‘In the event that any member of the team has an ally that is placed within immediate danger, TJT shall rise to the occasion and protect, serve, and carefully watch said ally, for better or worse.’
‘The greatest business decision available is what must be made. The team of TJT will stay with whatever faction provides for them the greatest available number of business options, as this safeguards productivity, as well as personal expansion. Loyalties are not bound by words. Loyalties are bound by survival.’
*Jimmy Thunder breaks out a few gestures seemed to be ripped straight from a low-grade gangster rap, and grimacing, before returning his face to normal and standing at ease.*
‘In the event that the aforementioned subjects conflict, the team shall vote on which to follow, as these decisions are of the utmost importance to the staying power, business, and expansion previously described that shall be presented to TJT.’
This, in all legality, and any possible ambiguity of legality, is the proposal for success of the tag division, a time for rebirth. Jason Jupiter, Jimmy Thunder, and Terina hereby declare this document, The Manifesto of TJT, to be…
OFFICIAL!”
*Jupiter gives a nod to Hal Jaerak, who furls the scroll, stepping back. Jason Jupiter steps to the side, and Terina resumes her position at the center of the podium, and center of the ring. Thunder and Jupiter raise their shiny EWT World Tag Team Championship belts into the air, the light rebounding off of them in every which-way.*
Thunder: I’m glad you wrote that, and not me, bro.
Jupiter: Thank you. But of course!
Terina: Let’s hear a round of applause for Jason’s work!
*While some are booing, a number of fans actually begin cheering, intrigued by what has been raised.*
Terina: However, these times STILL present things to be thankful for. For you see, not only has Joe One won the EWT World Heavyweight Championship, but someone else has successfully defended his, at Old School, against Moxie. He is a great man. Well versed in music, in the arts of wrestling, and in being perfect. Just like myself, Jason, Jim, and…I guess, Hal. And maybe Jack. Who knows. Truly, he needs NO introduction, but really, this has been a short one, to my credit. *laughs* It is none other than the EWT Ox-Division Championship, and, being escorted to the ring by his self-proclaimed bodyguard Jack Jupiter, it is…
CASSINOVA!
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TJT
AC Slater
It's fun to be perfect.
Posts: 109
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Post by TJT on Aug 15, 2007 23:39:26 GMT -5
*"Square Dance" starts right up from the intro, before leading into the song itself. Immediately, the crowd boos wildly as the Ox Division Champion walks out on a pair of crutches, "People! It feels so good to be back!" is yelled out in the song. Cassinova, wearing a fancy suit for perhaps the first time in his EWT tenure, slowly comes out into the open to even more boos. Following close behind is Jack Jupiter, who looks around at the booing crowd in disappointment in them. Cassinova on the other hand seems to either be ignoring them, or mistaking boos for cheers. Smiling cockily, the young LA native hobbles over to the limo parked on the stage, patting the hood of the car. In an instant, Jack Jupiter rushes over to the hood, laying on his belly on the floor next to the car. Cass steps onto his back; Jack emits an audible groan. Like a human elevator, Jack Jupiter pushes himself up onto his hands and knees, the Ox-Division champ, crutches and all, gets onto the hood. Walking up to the very top of the limo, near the sun roof with Jack Jupiter keeping him steady like a nurse to a patient, Cass turns towards the arena and his colleagues in the ring, before slowly pulling his suit jacket off, Ken Kennedy style, to reveal his Ox Division title underneath, as well as a brand new "Cassinova" shirt--sponsored by Cass' very own brand of choice: Affliction. Throwing his jacket over his shoulder. Cassinova puts on his cocky smirk and is picked up with the weight of all his gear by Jack off the limo. Jack sets the champion down, helping him re-adjust his crutches, and the two walk down the ramp before getting into the ring, Jack Jupiter once again acting like a human elevator, climbing onto the apron, and opening up the ropes for the Champ. Without saying thanks, Cassinova walks right into the middle of the ring, dapping Thunder and Jupiter and doing the silly "Air-kiss both sides of the face" thing with Terina. Following these greetings, Cassinova receives the microphone, and turns around to the fans with a sly smile.*
Cassinova: Yet again... I'd hate to say I told you so...
*He waits for Jack Jupiter to remove one of his crutches before leaning on the other one. Using his free hand to take off his title belt, he lifts it high in the air with yet another smirk*
Cassinova: ...But I told you so.
*The crowd boos his cockiness loudly, but Cassinova simply speaks over them*
Cassinova: I'll skip the victory speech and save it for later, because I've already proven time and time again that I am the exact thing that everyone else on this roster claims to be. So, understanding that you've all probably realized that by now, I'll get right to the point and discuss something that people have been asking me nonstop since Old School:
"Why did Jack Jupiter help you win your match?"
Well, to really analyze this deep, philosophical question, let's first study the word "help." Help... to contribute... to give assistance to... to give relief to. Now that we're more familiar with this word, let's restate this:
Jack Jupiter contributed to me winning my match.
Now, does that sound so bad? No. No it doesn't. And for those of you that still thinks it sounds wrong, think about this: The referee contributed as well, he counted the pinfall. Should we all persecute him as well? The fans contributed by not, like, rushing the ring and bringing the whole show to a close. That makes them all bad people too, right? Moxie contributed to my win by just being an all-around shell of his former self. That's gotta' be cheating, right?
No? I didn't think so. Face up to it, nothing wrong actually took place. If Moxie was smart, HE would've had his own yes man come in and help him out... but no, because with that... X-Mark guy gone, he has no friends, and thus no advantage. Sorry, Mox, better luck next time! Now, with that said, I'll just...
*Cassinova is stopped by Jason Jupiter whispering in his ear. He facepalms as if just remembering*
Cassinova: Oh, yeah! Duh! Too busy discussing the downward spiral that is the life of Mox-Z and his washed-up brethren, that I forgot to explain WHY my good... whoa, I almost said "friend." I'm losing it. Why my almost-competent bodyguard Jack Jupiter interfered, given we had a match against each other just last month. Well, if you think about everything I said before my match, and put the pieces together, it's very simple. What the older cats have forgotten, is the first logical rule of making your career as long and prosperous as possible:
And that is that only the strong survive. Now, the Jupiters, Thunder, Terina and I... we're strong. We're very strong. And I'm just speaking individually. Now... imagine what you would get... if you banded us all together into one collective unit? Now, that would be quite the force to be reckoned with, wouldn't it? Kind of like an all-star team... and we even have our own mascot!
*He points to Jack. Jack pretends not to see him, mumbling obscenities under his breath*
Cassinova: So, when you take the best the world has to offer and put them all together as one force, don't you think that their strength and overall excellence would grow exponentially? Yeah, we think so too. So, looking at ourselves and realizing that we are the absolute best in this company, we figured it was about time to put everyone else on notice. TJT: EWT World Tag-Team Champions, managed by the lovely future EWT Women's Champion, Terina and accompanied by a pretty snazy dresser in Hal. Cassinova: EWT Ox-Division Champion. Will be accompanied by the gorgeous Jewelry Sada... something in the not-too-distant future if I play my cards right; which I will. And of course, Jack Jupiter... who is an almost decent waterboy. Can everybody give Jack Jupiter a hand, please?
*Cassinova and everyone but Jason Jupiter start to applaud. Jason scowls and Jack tries to take it all in stride. The audience has been continuously booing during this entire speech*
Cassinova: Okay, clap-time over. Uh... where was I? Ah, yes. So, ladies and gentlemen, in this ring right now are the future faces of EWT. Love us or hate us, you will respect us, and you will remember us.
*Cassinova lowers the microphone and smirks smugly as the crowd boos as loud as ever. He looks around at them, before dropping his microphone and allowing Jack Jupiter to re-position his crutch. Jack picks up the mic as Cassinova gets rebalanced*
Jack: That....that's right. I'm tired of being the "other Jupiter." I'm a young man with time on my side, and this is my chance. This is MY time. I'M GONNA MAKE IT AFTER AAAAAAAAALLLLLL!
Terina: But Minipax....BB......um....
Jupiter: *deciding to recite an inside joke of his under his breath* “I’ve had it…HUH-UH, that’s IT! THAT’S THE LAST STRAW!” *chuckle*
Jack: You're right, cousin. Well, I've had it. Ugh.....ugh. I have HAD it with this regime.
*Jason realizes Jack misinterpreted his quote as a declaration, and his eyes nearly double in size as--*
Jack: That's why...I can't take it anymore. I'M...I'M.................I'M LEAVING THE MINISTRY OF PEACE!
*TJT look at him strangely, mouth slightly agape. Cassinova raises an eyebrow, but the dimwit probably has no idea who Minipax even is. Jason Jupiter raises his microphone, staring across the ring at his cousin* Jupiter: You're... leaving the Ministry of Peace?
Jack: Yeah I am! I'm tired of being the guy nobody cares about! I'm tired of being on the sidelines. Tagging along with you guys isn't what's wrong! It's following them and expecting respect! Cassinova sees something in me, at the very least, so it's time I start to help out this champion and get the respect I so rightfully deserve! And that's why I foiled Moxie's plans in his match with Cass! And that's why I tripped his leg out of his..uh....
*Cassinova lays a crutch on the ropes and uses his free hand to take Jack's microphone*
Cassinova: And that's why I used my incredible wrestling ability to beat Foxie fair and square, right?
*Jack shrugs slightly and nods*
Cassinova: Now let's backtrack... you're going to leave Minipax... because you're tired of being on the sidelines... and you see a better opportunity as being my bodyguard, correct?
*Jack strokes his chin and takes the time to ponder this one, before nodding vigorously* Cassinova: ...Smart man! We've all gotta' start somewhere. Some just start as being the underlings of others. Kevin Nash went from bodyguarding to drawing $100 million at WrestleMania! And Johnny can do the same if he puts his mind to it! *Jack Jupiter lets out a. "...Jack" that is barely audible since he doesn't have a microphone* Cassinova: So Jake, know that ol' Cassidy has faith in you, and you'll do great things one day! Of course I'll have already done them and far better, but you'll do them nonetheless! Just... don't stop believin' and keep your head up!
Cassinova gives a stupid thumbs up to Jack, and Jack gives one back. Cass even catches Jack off guard by extending his hand out towards him! Jack, emotionally twisted by the sudden show of respect from EWT's golden boy, looks around at the crowd like a heel deciding whether or not he should shake a face's hand. Finally, he throws his hand out to shake Cass', but 'Nova pulls his back quickly with disgust* Cassinova: What's wrong with you? Don't touch me! Just hand me my crutch so I don't fall and break my damn neck. Some bodyguard you are. *Jack frowns and grabs Cassinova's crutch, handing it to him. Cass gets resituated as Jack leans back against the ropes*
Terina: Now that Jack has made his decision, unlike him, TJT still has some important business with Minipax:
Thunder: Ya know, cause we’re in a sporting mood, Joe, we’ll make our first tag title defense against TWO members of Minipax, your choice. Just a fun little match, and no matter what happens, Minipax has the tag belts!
Jupiter: An idea concocted from my mind, at that!
Terina: So, when you’ve decided on who we face…like…let us know. And my two men here…
Thunder: JIMMY THUNDER!
Jupiter: and JASON JUPITER!
Terina: …will go out there and defend. Oh yeah, and if you’re feeling really lucky, you can go ahead and enter our gauntlet too. That should be fun. And like this match…either way, Minipax will hold the belts! But for now, it’s time to ring in a new era. An era of the tag division…an era…
Thunder: Of T…
Jupiter: …J…
Terina: …T!
Jack: And uh...JACK JUPITER! *he adjusts his tone* But there's something else....something more....global...
*Cassinova looks at his friends and associates in the ring, before smiling slyly and moving to the center of the ring. With him surrounded by TJT, Jack Jupiter, and Hal, the scene would make for quite a mighty-fine picture*
Cassinova: So EWT and fans of it... do not adjust your television sets, you are indeed seeing what you think you're seeing. This is not a test. This is not a drill. This is a new era in EWT. And as your first and only fair warning... expect this era to last a very...
*His voice drops an octave, sounding deeper and even sinister*
Cassinova: ...Very, long time.
*"Peace Sells" picks back up, as TJT more quickly leave the ring, boos meeting them as they flash triumphant looks on their faces, with a slowly following, but equally triumphant Cassinova is helped along back up the entrance ramp by Jack Jupiter, Hal Jaerak closely and sinisterly following behind, as the camera fades out.*
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Ass Dan
King Koopa
Curious about extra lines
Have you seen me?
Posts: 12,259
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Post by Ass Dan on Aug 16, 2007 15:51:00 GMT -5
'Testify' hits the PA, causing the audience to start booing uncontrolably, although a few people cheer the music. One walks out with his new outfit, now with his title attatched to his chest's beltloops.
Announcer: The following contest is schedualed for one fall. Introducing first, representing the EWT Stable Champions Minipax, from Airstrip One, weighting in at 234 lbs., he is the EWT World Heavyweight Champion, Joe One!
One puts his chin up as he is announced.
Announcer: And his opponent, already in the ring, from Venice Beach, California, weighing in at 255 lbs., this is Sting!
Sting waves his bat to the crowd, signaling people to 'Woo'. Joe One walks into the ring, taking a bit of a time to take his belt from his uniform. The referee calls for the bell.
*ding ding ding*
Immediatly, Joe One extends his hand. The crowd is perplexed by One's friendly outreach. Sting thinks about it for a second, before shaking One's hand. Slowly, Sting shakes One's hand. Sting pulls back, still confused; Joe One did nothing but shake his hand.
The two start off by grappling. One takes advantage by armdragging Sting. However, he doesn't let go, doing a sort of chickenwing-like manouver. Sting counters into a rollup!
1!
Kickout by One.
One gets up and hits a Don't Worry About the Government on Sting. as Sting gets up, One lands on his shoulders and lands a Poison Rana. Cover by One.
1!
2!
Kickout by Sting.
One looks a bit peeved. He quickly locks in the First Lightning, which Sting taps out to.
*ding ding ding*
Announcer: Here is your winner, Joe One!
One gets his hand raised and his belt back. He asks for a microphone.
One: Well, after talking with Mr. Bischoff and Mr. Dorf, I have schedualed my first Post-Per-View title defence. Seeing as how this is the second Skies the Limit Post-Per-View, I suggested that I reprise the match I was in in the firts Skies the Limit Post-Per-View: the 'Wrestlers on a Plane' match. I figure it would be appropriate that my first PPV title match would be contested the same as my first ever PPV match. But what of a challenger?
The images of Ape Love, JZ, Dorf, Moxie, and Maelstorm appear on the ToomiTron.
One: Well, I have invented a special apperatus to choose a challenger, since I cannot decide who should lose first. Mr. Clay?
Richard Clay comes out with a buzzer-like item in his hand. He walks to the ring and gives the item to Joe One.
One: I appreciate that, Mr. Clay.
Clay: You're welcome.
Clay walks to the back.
One: This device will choose who I will face at The Skies the Limit II without and prejudice, judice, or postjudice.
He presses the button; suddenly, Press Your Luck-style music starts playing as lights surround the various pictures of the ex-champions.
One: And so, the man whom I will face at the Skies the Limit II will be...
He presses the button.
One: JZ.
The crowd cheers.
One: It seems I am going to face against a legend in EWT. Well, this hardcore legend will find out what it's like to step in the ring with the Nirvana of Violence...at 20,000 feet.
'Testify' starts up again as One raises his EWT World Heavyweight Championship.
*COMMERCIAL BREAK*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Aug 17, 2007 1:05:06 GMT -5
*Toom E Dangerously sits backstage & rolls his eyes.*
Great...dorf's already rubbed off on Joe One, calling me by the wrong name.
*Then suddenly, a Whammy walks through the frame dressed as Boy George.*
Oh brother.
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Aug 17, 2007 1:15:23 GMT -5
*Joe Ragnal walks by as the Whammy causes comotion.*
Joe: No offense, but ya DID go by Toomi Bischoff at one time. I mean, it's not everyone else's fault they remember that more than Danger-
Toom: WILL YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?!
Joe: *without skipping a beat* Gone.
*Joe rushes off.*
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TJT
AC Slater
It's fun to be perfect.
Posts: 109
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Post by TJT on Aug 17, 2007 1:27:03 GMT -5
*Jack Jupiter is witnessing this whole event, looking on. The camera does a closeup to his head, signalling a moment to listen to what's going on in his head....**He shrugs and walk off, and the camera fades out*
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Post by crauswell on Aug 17, 2007 1:48:00 GMT -5
We fade in, getting a glance at the Cidal Squad locker room, as a tv is on, a certain furry standing there in the shadows, a remote clutched in his grasp. He seems to watching a certain something. The camera soon focuses on the screen, revealing it to be Mike Ragnal's retirement speech. The unbalanced young man doesn't really seem angry, but more shocked. He sits down on a nearby couch, burying his head in his hands.
Crauswell: How... how the hell did they? I don't understand it, I don't UNDERSTAND IT A DAMN BIT! Why, why did that pathetic weakling Joe One win the EWT title? Why did he dethrone that glorious champion... that being of pure respect. Not only that, but they also apparently beat him so insultingly, he wants to LEAVE US?! HE WANTS TO LEAVE THE CIDAL SQUAD?! HE WANTS TO LEAVE THE VERY EWT?!
The furry leaps up in a fit of rage, grabbing and shoving this couch over on it's side, stomping angrily at the thing, as he takes in the fact that indeed, Mike Ragnal is going to be leaving soon. He walks over to the tv, grabbing that remote off the ground and rewinding through a few things, at a very fast speed. It shows various scenes, including TJT winning the Tag Team titles and Joe One winning the EWT Championship. He starts shaking violently, as with a might kick, shatters this television, as he kneels at the ground, holding his head.
Crauswell: In one fell swoop, my allies have been defeated. In one wonderous fluke, the Cidal Squad no longer holds any of the titles. It's my fault... ever since I joined, I've lead them to a path of destruction. I couldn't prevent the defense of that glorious EWT title, I couldn't stop them from taking the Tag Team Titles... I can't do a damn thing. These bastards, these MINIPAX BASTARDS must be punished. They must be dealt with... I can not and WILL NOT let them humiliate us like this. I AM THE CIDAL FORCE!!! I AM THE PURE FORM OF INSTINCTIVE POWER!!! I must somehow... weaken those Minipax fools... yes, I know exactly how. I'll send the message, the message that they deserve to hear. I will destroy them, I will rip them apart, I will make their skulls shatter, I will make their bones snap, I will AVENGE HIM!!!!
Crauswell rises up again, pulsing with rage, as he slowly turns around.
Crauswell: Minipax... your Ministry of Peace is miserable. Peace does nothing but breed weakness. That's what cost me the Toolshed Championship. That's why the Cidal Squad abducted me and created a new... reborn Crauswell. A better furry than I have ever been. I've been untouched since this beautiful transformation and I have my masters Andy Duke and Mike Ragnal to thank for this. Unfortunately, thanks to you all, my masters have been humbled! You fools, not even that mix master leader of yours is going to save you from my unbridled wrath. Nothing is going to stop me from destroying the glorious Minipax... as well as anyone that gets in my way! I will give you a fair challenge though, as much as it sickens me. Destroying one of you by an ambush is pure cowardice, so I'll do it in that very ring. I don't care who you send, if you even dare to do so, but send anyone my way. Send that money grubbing fool, send that masked lunatic, send that newest stooge of yours, send your blind protege, or send yourself World Champion. It doesn't matter at all to me, because come hell or highwater, the Cidal Squad will stand victorious! I give you ample time to accept my challenge, but be warned that doing so will be your very downfall from the EWT!!!
The furry slowly turns his back to the camera, exiting the Cidal Squad locker room quite quickly, as the scene of destruction remains quite visible.
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Post by The Zephyr Brothers on Aug 17, 2007 2:48:51 GMT -5
*Mike and Mark, in their trunks and jogging jackets, are running backstage, presumably in training, and they turn their heads to face one another*
Mike: Hey Mark, judging by all these challenges...
Mark: Do you think...
Mike: I think now is the time...
Mark: ...THE time?
Mike: To make that leap of faith and challenge for the belts...
Mark: Really? That gauntlet...
Mike: YEAH! That's the one, Mark!
Mark: We'll enter it, win the gauntlet, and challenge TJT...
Mike: Or whoever...and then we'll get the belts!
Mark: Oh fo sho, my mega-super bro!
Mike: That's a sweet gahlic deal we got goin' here.
Mark: It's...LI-EK, super special rockin' sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!
Mike: Damn straight, Home Q. Now let's go tear up more concrete...
*The Zephyrs continue running, moving off-screen. Suddenly, two thudding sounds can be heard. The camera pans over, revealing a wall with a metal door in the center, two dents visible. The camera pans down, revealing Mike on the floor on his back, eyes closed and sprawled out, and Mark laying face-down in a fetal position, also with his eyes closed and a terrible grimace on his face.*
Mark: Ugghhhh....
Mike: ....
Mark: ...
Mike: ...
Mark: ...
Mike: ...
Mark: ...
Mike: ...Ow.
*The camera fades out*
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Post by Mella Drom Attoc on Aug 17, 2007 4:24:03 GMT -5
*A fade back from commercial shows the EWT's most annoying: Lull Songtra, Tim Cruis, and Zed Pine standing at the tunnel to the EWT entrance way. Neither Tim or Lull look dressed to appear, but of Zed remains in his usual attire.*
Tim: Alright... so yeah, what do we do again? We walk down this... ramp thing into that ring place.... and wrestle huh?
Lull: Zed you sure that we've rehearsed this before? I could swear you did the Dress rehearsal while I was away at four.
Zed: Don't worry fellas... it's pretty simple. You head to the ring, you beat the stuffing out of your far less important opponents, you celebrate, then we head backstage.
*Tim slaps his head, as he comes to this realization from this reminder, as he looks back at Zed*
Tim: Of course, that's it. Ummm, Zed... you did take care of things beforehand right?
Lull: Yes, Zed. We can't have anything unfortunate happen during the match... Why that would just be a bad catch.
Zed: .... AH SHOOT! I knew there was something that slipped my mind! Dang it, sorry guys, I forgot to send that courier to those Naturalie's locker area. I am so firing that little punk that was supposed to remind me!
Lull: THIS IS NO GOOD! IT IS......NO GOOD!
Tim: Geez, I don't need this. Don't you have some kind of back up plan? Like... have us call in sick or somethin? I am not going out there and looking bad! Especially those two beanpoles!
Lull: WHAT HE SAID!
*Pause as they both look at him.*
Lull: NOT EVERY SONG RHYMES!
Pine: Don't worry guys, I am not letting my stars go out there to be humiliated by any bumpkins! I'll think of something, just let Chef Zeddy cook something up...
*Pine rests a hand under his chin, as the sound of approaching footsteps are heard, the Naturals heading out towards the ring now, only to stop in front of their opponents.*
Lull: Who are these losers? Boozers?
Andy: Move. We've gotta go beat up these CRAP guys.
Chase: Yeah.
Andy: We've got to get ourselves enough money so we can get a haircut. Then maybe we can get back into TNA.
Chase: Yeah.
Andy: Figure if we can beat these nobodies, we'll get our lives back on track.
Chase: Yeah.
Andy: I'm sick of sleeping in Chase's car!
Chase: Yea.... wait, what?!
Lull: ...
Tim: ...
Lull: Scene 26, good friend?
Tim: Works for me.
*Tim runs over, swinging at Chase, who just kind of steps out of the way, Cruis stumbling awkwardly as he misses. Lull spins in place and hits his Ulations hit right against Chase's head.*
Lull: Whoops, I missed.
Chase: *no sells* Yeah?
*Pine groans, quickly fumbling around in his pockets, pulling out two coupons for Headstart, then "accidentally" dropping them on the ground*
Pine: Oh clumsy I... looks like I DROPPED these two coupons. I sure hope nobodies uses these to get a hair snipping. Maybe to get a JOB?
*the Naturals quickly look at each other, snatching them up and running off*
Lull: JOB WELL DONE, TIM!
Tim: *regaining his composure* Thanks Lull. They obviously ran off in fear of my power. Yep, that's gotta be it.
Lull: No doubt about it. Lest again they get hit.
Pine: Ah well, guess we can't go out to the ring now. What a total and utter shame! We'll just have to tell Foomi and Worf our opponent's never showed up, what a tragedy.
Lull: If only we could get rid of that Guy Shoediea! He's taken what is mine and it won't be long before I make him cry-a! Call me a little boy, will he! Well I prove myself to be a man! Maybe I'll even make him one too, in the ring, with a can!
Tim: Whatever, just don't let it interfere with our other plans. I mean, I heard these ADD guys issued some kind of tag team gauntlet thing. I don't really know what it is though, any ideas Zed?
Pine: Oh yes, it's some kinda contest involving match after match where the last team to survive is the winner. It's kinda like that whole Battle Royal thing you guys were kicked out of. Except I believe it's one team on one team at a time
Tim: I'm not scared of any other teams. Whoever they are, we'll just stomp those inferior beings into the dirt.
Lull: AND WE WILL MAKE THEM HURT!
Pine: Perhaps we'll even see some blood spurt... heh, now you got me doing it Lully!
Lull: No. Please. No.
Tim: Yeah Zed, no offense but stick to... directing, managing and stuff.
Zed: Fair enough. Alright, tell ya what boys, I'll go look over the approval records, see if it's wise for us to enter this little Gauntlet doo-dad, then get back to ya.
Tim: Sure whatever. I don't really see any problems myself, but hey... that's why your the director.
Pine: And Lull, I'll see if I can dig some dirt up on Tie Dye for ya, I'm sure you can find some use for that, correcto mundo?
Lull: That's why you are the greatest, dear Pine.
Pine: You better believe it boobie. C'mon fellas, I ordered some catering for after the match!
Tim: Good, I'm starved... and I'm not gonna resort to eating the garbage they serve around here
Lull: Only the unrefined would dare consider it.
*TIm, Lull, and Pine all head out back towards their locker room for now, as suddenly the Natural's run back over*
Andy: HEY! These coupons are expired!!!
Chase: Yeah!
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Curly Long
AC Slater
Midget Wrestling Master
Posts: 234
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Post by Curly Long on Aug 17, 2007 7:13:32 GMT -5
Backstage and a slightly healthier looking Curly Long is in his office and is on the phone.
CURLY: You will, good to hear .... I know ... Oh we are so going to do that ... uh-huh ... yeah I'll get that done ... no, oh yes that is for certain ... bye
Curly clicks the phone shut and looks at the camera
CURLY: Did you hear that? That was my man Mr. Big from the hospital. He took a nasty backstabbing beating at Old School but will be back soon!
Curly adjusts a few things on his desk
CURLY: So I hear there's a gauntlet for the tag titles coming up ... well count myself and Mr. Big in. Midget King and company are coming back to wresck havoc on these so called tag teams. especially the champs TJT ... wait what does TJT even stand for anyway? Hey Mina!
Mina the sexy female midget on the side walks over and sits on Curly Long's lap
MINA: Yeah baby?
CURLY: Do you know what TJT stands for?
She shakes her head
CURLY: Well I do ... it stands for Two Jerks Together! Two Jerks who got lucky ... but the thing is they have reached the limit of what jerking about can do! You see eventually all that jerking around gets kind of dull and then when something raw and exciting comes along they won't know what to do!
in the distance we can hear some cheering?? Mina rubs her hand over Curly's bald head and looks into the camera seductivly
CURLY At Skies the Limit II Midget King and Company are coming back! We will be winning that guantlet by any means neccesary and taking are place at the top of the tag team division once again! and that my friends ... is the Long Hard Truth of it!!
MINA: I love it when you talk dirty, baby!
Curly looks at Mina a grin on his face
CURLY: I love it when you don't talk at all!!
We fade out as Mina begins to take her top off, to the delight of the crowd.
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