Smarky
Mike the Goon
Posts: 14
|
Post by Smarky on Aug 20, 2007 20:45:22 GMT -5
[The camera cuts backstage to find Tard Grisham with...what appears to be Jonnie Sparks, though it's hard to tell, as his entire head is wrapped up in bandages] Tard: Hello folks, I'm Tard Grisham, and I'm here backstage with Jonnie Sparks, who, it seems, has fallen on a bit of misfortune. [Sparks leans into the microphone] Sparks: [Muffled] Mphhh mppphhh...mmmm.... Tard: Um...Jonnie, is that really necessary? [Sparks nods vigorously] Tard: Um...OK. So...what are your thoughts on your match two days ago? Sparks: Mphhhh dufff shu- Tard: OK, this is ridiculous. [Grisham leans in and pulls down the bandages, exposing Jonnie's mouth, which quickly forms itself into a scream] Sparks: WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU IDIOT?! Tard: What's the point of an interview if I can't understand what you're saying? Sparks: Two words: Sign Language. Tard: Of course...but back to the interview. What are your thoughts on Andy Davidson's actions a couple of days ago? Sparks: [Pulls off the bandages, to reveal a nasty looking scab on his forehead] Tard...how long have we been friends? Tard: I'm your friend? Sparks: Just answer the question. Tard: Um...a couple years? Sparks: [Faux seriousness] Right. Well Tard, a couple days ago...you almost lost your best friend. Do you know why? Tard: Not really. Sparks: [Gestures to his wound] Do you know what's under this skin, Tard? Tard: Muscle. Sparks: And under that? Tard: Bones. Sparks: [Annoyed] And under that? Tard: Your brain? Possibly... Sparks: Exactly! I read medical textbooks Tard. Any force taken directly to the brain can kill you instantly. I could have DIED, Tard. Tard: Aren't you being a bit- Sparks: What? Overdramatic? I don't think you realize the severity of my condition here. Not only was the blunt trauma enough to give me a concussion, but, there's a slight chance that this wound could have been infected! Hence, the bandages! Tard: [Sarcastically] Ah, of course. How could I be so blind? Sparks: [Ignoring him] Indeed. Tard: Alright then. What are your thoughts on the return of EWT superstar Limey? Sparks: Who? Tard: Limey. You know...Generation Tech? Carla O. Woe? Is any of this ringing a bell? Sparks: Not really. Though...now that I think of it...I could really use a Sprite...
Sparks: [Grinning] God, I love product placement...
Tard: OK...how about the retirement of Mike Ragnal?
Sparks: Ugh...do I really have to say something about him?
Tard: Not really, but it'd be nice of you.
Sparks: Alright, fine. [Monotone] Mike Ragnal is a true beacon of light in the world of pro wrestling. He is our Lord and our Savior and we should all conduct blood sacrifices to him every night. Without our Benevolent Lord Ragnal, we should all shrivel up and die like the unworthy scum we are...blah. Blah. Blah. There, is that sufficient ass-kissing?
Tard: It felt genuine.
Sparks: That's what I thought too.
Tard: OK, next topic. How do you feel about your match at Skies The Limit with Andy Davidson?
Sparks: Ah. That. Tard, can I borrow your microphone for a moment?
Tard: [Sighs] Eh, why not.
Sparks: Thank ya.
[Sparks grabs the microphone from Tard and clears his throat while the camera zooms in on his face]
Sparks: Andy Davidson...what can I say? You sneak up on me, try and take a shot at me, hit a poor innocent referee, nearly cost me a match and then, after my hard fought victory, you blind side me and came THIS close to destroying MY beautiful face forever. I like my face Davidson. It's gotten me awards. It's gotten me on the cover of magazines. It's gotten me so many women, that I can't count them all on a scientific calculator! And all of that, nearly flushed down the toilet because you wanted what? Revenge? Andy...Andy....Andy...what I did was vengeance. For humiliating me on national television with your bestest pal Joh Valentine, you got exactly what you deserved. I made you bleed for a reason. I made you bleed because no one...NO ONE, makes a fool out of me and gets away with it.
[Sparks smirks grimly]
Sparks: But you just want to keep upping the ante don't you? You keep getting a little more brash and a little more sloppy. I nearly had you two days ago, if it wasn't for that bastard Eric Freedom. But now, in less than a month, it's gonna be you and me. Mano...a mano. I will admit that you outweight me. I will admit that brawling is your game, not mine. But I have something you don't, and that's the killer instinct. You lose sight of what's important because of your so-called "nobility". I know, I saw it when you attended to that ref when you could have taken me down. See Davidson, you don't have the stones to REALLY inflict damage on someone. Sure, you busted me open, and big ol' golden kudos to you, but when push comes to shove, I know that I've got the upper hand. And come Skies the Limit...I'm going to make what you did to me seem like a paper cut. And that's a promise. Tard, you can have this back now.
[Sparks hands Tard the microphone and walks off]
Tard: [Taken aback] Uh...wow. Um..I'm Tard Grisham and...that's it.
|
|
jzbadblood
Unicron
Christ, man. Can't you see what's happening? Can't you read between the lines?
Posts: 3,052
|
Post by jzbadblood on Aug 21, 2007 12:44:24 GMT -5
Mike Brahm is standing the ring stretching. Beneath by Nothingface hits and JZBadblood comes out on to the stage with a microphone.
JZ: You know..it's funny really. Every couple of months I'm back in the EWT for a few weeks and then I disappear. Last time I got in to a fight with some up and coming kid, this time I've been called out by the current champion. Well, let me take you down memory lane. I was the champ once, and it may not have lasted that long, it still bothers me to this day how unfairly I was treated by the EWT, especially Toom E Dangerously. He put me through hell to make sure I lost that title. I never had the advantage, but I kept on trucking. I finally hit my breaking point somewhere after A-Bomb spear me through a brick wall. I didn't leave for a little bit, but I had wanted to. I was even friends with Mr. Dangerously for a little bit while I held the gold, but I was never destined to keep the championship for long. It didn't end when I lost the title.
JZ readjusts the mic in his hands and begins talking again.
JZ: Even when I wasn't champion I had to feud with Merc. Not to shoot here, but the way people portay him now is somewhat correct, but he was a good guy. Yes, he did botch a few things here and there, but he meant well..at least back then. I don't know what when on when he was thrown out of here, but that is none of my business anyways. I also had a feud with Ape, which was no walk in the park let me tell you. I still have scars..and of course Mr. Dangerously and whatever bullcrap backup he had with him. The point I'm trying to make here is I wasin a feud or facing someone who no one in their right mind would want to take on one on one. The stipulations weren't in my favor, and it was a matter of time before JZ left. Now, in my opinon, I keep getting brought back because of the guilty conscious of Mr. Dangerously. Sure, it was random, but I was on the press your luck thing for a reason, and it wasn't cause I'm a former champ..he knows all of this is true. Well, regardless, I get a title shot again thanks to it, and now that I'm back standing here, what the hell makes you think I'm going to fear Joe One beating me? I've been beaten by the best..and believe it or not I have beaten the best too. Facing Joe One is probably the least of my worries. I'm more afraid of getting into that airplane, but come Sky's the Limit, I might just beat the best you got today.
JZ throws down the mic and walks to the ring. Mike Brahm is ready and starts pounding on JZ as he slides into the ring and the bell rings. He lets JZ to his feet, but whips him into the ropes. JZ comes back with a clothesline that flattens Mike. From there JZ picks him up and throws him into the ropes. On the rebound JZ catches him with a quick elbow to the face.
Commentator: Good action here so far.
JZ locks Mike into a headlock while he's getting up and keeps control of the match. Mike sends few punches to the gut of JZ and he quickly whips Mike to the ropes before he can get the advantage. JZ then sets up and hits the stun gun!
Commentator: The Stun Gun! That move was made famous by Steve Austin in his early days. Will we see the pin?
JZ lays the boots into Mike and kicks him into the corner.
Commentator: That is unconventional.
JZ runs the ropes and knees Mike Brahm in the face. Mike crawls out of the turnbuckle and JZ climbs to the top rope. He motions to the crowd and hits a huge leg drop onto the back of the head of Mike, who was still on his hands and knees crawling away. JZ picks him back up.
Commentator: This should be over soon.
He hoists Mike up for a suplex and delivers a stiff brainbuster. JZ then makes the cover.
1...2...3!
Commentator: It's all over. If JZ can do something like this on that airplane, then maybe we'll have a new champion.
Beneath by Nothing face accompanies JZ in his celebration, and the EWT goes to an ad break.
|
|
|
Post by texberry on Aug 21, 2007 12:49:00 GMT -5
VIDEO PACKAGE
We are coming at you live from a very fancy, very exquisite-looking mansion at poolside as an instrumental to "Walk the Line" by Johnny Cash plays. The camera pans across poolside until it shows some expensive-looking cowboy boots. The camera then pans across to show a similarly expensive looking blue suit that the star of this package is wearing. He is holding a large whiskey glass and reclining in a beach chair as a bikini supermodel is massaging his shoulders.
TEX: Good to meet y'all. Now...all y'all should know who I am...I am, of course, THE richest oil baron this glorious state ever did know...but for the benefit of those lowlife de-generate commoners out there...y'all know who y'are, that'd be most-a y'all watching this...mah name is Aloysius to mah momma...and Tex Berry to ev'ryone else, friend, family, peers and lovers.
Tex rises from his chair and takes a walk towards the camera as it follows, the bikini supermodel clinging to his arm. As he walks, we see the huge mansion in a fuller, and more spectacular view.
TEX: That's dern right! Ah'm the one and only Tex Berry, here in EWT live and in livin' color! Ah've conquered the business world, and now ah wanna conquer the wrasslin' world, one champ'ship at a time! Ah'm gonna become the greatest manager the world ever did see, and it don't matter if you're in this g.d. fancy-damn business already or not...when ah take you under mah wing, and let you have the greatest training equipment, tutelage and advice money can buy, you could be a damn sight better than any penniless scumbag in EWT today! And ah know some of y'all may be jealous of me...and that's alright! No, it's alright to be jealous of the fact that ah got so much Jack in mah cellar (takes a sip from the whiskey glass) and so many Jills in mah bed (Slaps the supermodel on the tush as she giggles and goes off screen). Heck, if ah were anybody else, ah'd be greener than the interior of mah bank vault, HAH! But, when it's all said and done, it's yer own fault that y'all are broke, pathetic, g.d. deadbeats! Ah've seen y'all, so don't try to deny it! No job, stuck at home watching MTV and drinkin' cheap local beer like it's the key to makin' yer stupid undesirable lives more meanin'ful.
Tex struts over to the left of the screen, revealing a full-scale outdoors gym next to his pool, which several bikini supermodels are using, occasionally gazing pleasantly at the camera and winking.
TEX: Well, that don't matter to me. All the history books will show is who the the champs were, and who the man that managed the champs was. Nothin' more, and nothin' less. Ah'm not lookin' fer yer approval, ah'm lookin' to add one more notch to mah belt! Ah will conquer the wrasslin' world, and sooner or later ev'ry champ in EWT will belong in mah back pocket! Mah name is Tex Berry. Ah will become the greatest wrasslin' manager of all time! And y'all should be thanking me fer it, fer givin' y'all the privelege of watchin' me do what ah do best!! Millions will tune in to see me, and y'all know it!! Remember, y'all...
Tex sets down his whiskey glass, and lights a cigar, taking it out, and grinning to the camera.
TEX: Tex...sells!!!! HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH.....
TEX BERRY IS COMING TO EWT...
|
|
|
Post by Toom E. Guci on Aug 21, 2007 14:58:31 GMT -5
*Toom E Dangerously is sitting in his half of the office after cleaning it up by shoving everything on dorf's side. Just then, dorf walks in.*
dorf: Have you not been paying attention to your own company? Chad Micheals throws a challenge out to Cassinova & you give the match to somebody less deserving?
Toom E: Less deserving? What has this guy done that Moxie hasn't done? The fans love Moxie. And what the hell are you doing changing the Ironman Match?
dorf: The fans don't want to sit in their seats for 2 whole hours. What do you think will happen? They'll change the channel!!
Toom E: What's the point of changing the channel? Head of the Class, nor Growing Pains are no longer on Wednesday nights. And tv hasn't been the same since then.
dorf: Oh, for crying out loud. Get out of the 80's. You went with this whole 1980's thing for the last pay per view & look where it got you!
Toom E: You may be a 50% owner here, but you do not have the right to change the advertised matches!! Stipulations set by me stay, PERIOD!!!
dorf: Oh, for crying out loud man. Listen to yourself. You really think the fans want to sit on their asses for 120 minutes? Do you really think that will work?
Toom E: I don't think it will work, I KNOW it will work.
dorf: I think it's a bad booking move. But you know what? Fine, dig us into a deeper grave. But I tell you what! I know a perfect way the fans will sit for 120 minutes. I am making it a Triple Threat Match. I am putting Chad Micheals in that match. Chad deserves far more of a chance at that belt then Moxie. And like you said, I can't change...but I can add.
*And as dorf starts to walk out, he stops & turns back to Toom E.*
And I might add, I am not done here! I got something else up my sleeve & I am pretty sure you won't like it.
|
|
Rated X
Tommy Wiseau
The following post has been RATED X
Posts: 60
|
Post by Rated X on Aug 22, 2007 0:09:19 GMT -5
Konan 2000 (no relation to the actual Konnan) is standing in the ring, awaiting his first opponent in a while.
He doesn't have to wait long, as the lights die out one by one. The crowd starts to cheer as two words are uttered in complete darkness.
"Just how deep do you believe?
Will you bite the hand that feeds?"
"The Hand That Feeds" by Nine Inch Nails begins to play as the lights turn red, white, and blue. The camera starts swirling all over the place, looking for Chad Michaels. It doesn't take the cameraman long to find him, as he's amongst the fans, Pepsi can in his hand. Michaels opens the Pepsi and starts chugging it before bashing his skull with it a la Sandman. Michaels raises his kendo stick in the air before making his way down, pushing past fans. As he gets close to the barricade, Michaels climbs a chair and opens another Pepsi can before chugging it halfway before spitting it into the crowd. Michaels hops the barricade and walks around ringside as Konan 2000 just stands there, waiting for him to get into the ring. Michaels produces a third Pepsi can before opening it, chugging it, and spitting it right in Konan's face. Michaels just has a cocky grin as Konan looks as if he could kill. Michaels pours the rest down a female's shirt before grabbing a random male fan and forcing him to loick the Pepsi clean. The lucky fan rejoices as Chad slides into the ring, kendo stick still in his hand. Chad tosses the kendo stick into his corner as the bell rings, starting this match.
-----Ding Ding Ding!-----
Konan 2000 just stares at Chad as Chad stares back, smile on his face. Konan goes for a tie-up as Chad spits more Pepsi into Konan's face before catching him with a quick Lariat from Heaven. Chad gets on the offensive, catching him with knees to the head as Konan tries to cover it up as best as he can. Chad lets go and backs up before bouncing off the ropes and hits a dropkick to the head, causing Konan to fall to the outside. Chad plays to the crowd as Konan lies on the ground, trying to get it together. Chad starts to climb the turnbuckles as Konan starts to get up veeeeery slowly. As Konan is bended over, Chad comes flying off with Shadows From Hell, causing the crowd to pop with respect towards Delirious.
Crowd: BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!! *clapclapclapclapclap*
Chad nips up and raises his hand, causing the crowd to cheer even more. Chad grabs Konan by the hair and slides him in before turning to the crowd.
Chad: OLE MOTHERF***KERS!!!!
The crowd pops again as Chad slides into the ring, only to be met with a knee to the head from Konan. Chad goes down hard as Konan hits Chad with a quick kick to the gut before picking him up by the hair. Konan signals for the end as he Irish Whips Chad towards the ropes. As Chad bounces back, Konan goes for the stiff lariat. Chad ducks, grabs the arm, and turns around before hitting Konan with the Kiss Your Rated X Goodbye, dropping him on his head. Chad turns Konan over before covering him for the pin.
1...
2...
3!!
-----Ding Ding Ding!-----
Announcer: Here is your winner, Chad Michaels!!!
Chad gets him and dusts his shoulders off before grabbing the microphone.
Chad: Finally....... After nearly 8 months, it's time......... Time to show Cassinova......... Time to show Moxie........... Time to show Tooms........ to show EVERYONE......... that it's MY time to shine........ At Skies The Limit II.......... for 2 hours.............. My will shall be done. Say your prayers boys...... because at STL2, The New Age shall come.
"The Hand That Feeds" begins to play as Chad drops the microphone and leaves the ring as we fade to some weird commercial for some random product. Hey, they can't all be winners.
|
|
|
Post by The Bad Man on Aug 22, 2007 7:03:44 GMT -5
Back at ringside and Terry Taylor is in the ring, he is happy to be here and is dressed in regular wrestling gear (No Red Rooster in sight) The fans give him a warm ovation as the light begin to dim to a dark amber and red colour. All attention is on the main stage as this music comes out of the speakers, slowly and loud. the crowd hushes down as out from the curtain walks The Bad Man. His fat blubber grotesquely hangs from his chest and belly but it is face that we are always drawn to. The pinpoint pupils caved into a head scarred and cracked. The Bad Man slowly heads to the ring and climbs the steps before entering. The ref goes to check him but a glare keeps him awayBell RingsThe Bad Man begins to watch as Terry Taylor briefly circles before making the tie up. Taylor though is easily overpowered by this fortress of flesh and drops to his knees. The Bad Man laughs before suddenly digging his teeth into Terry Taylors head! The Referee breaks it up but already The Bad Man has made his mark as it drips down Terry Taylors face. The crowd boosTerry Taylor not happy goes for some momentum instead of a lock up and tries a shoulder block but merely bounces off, he tries again with the same result. The Bad Man grins, more wrinkled cracks appearing on his face. Terry Taylor dodges a fumble of a grab and using the ropes again comes at The Bad Man with a dropkick. The Bad Man takes it on the chin but is merely stunned. Terry Taylor sensing opportunity goes off the ropes again this time with his Flying Forearm which connects knocking The Bad Man to one knee. Terry is on him though and wraps his arm around The Bad Man with a headlock looking for ... well something ... The crowd boos again as The Bad Man gets upTerry Taylor is now off the ground his arms around The Bad Man's head whatever he was hoping to do is cut off, as The Bad Man nails him with a spinebuster. Taylor is down and his head is bleeding. The Bad Man picks him up and applies the Bayanhongor Fracture Clasp. With no where to go and no escape possible Terry Taylor submits! The Bell RingsANNOUNCER: Your winner ... The Bad Man! The Bad Man drops Terry Taylor and has the referee raise his hand, he then grabs Terry Taylor by the hair and drags him out of the ring and puts him over his shoulder. The Bad Man walks backstage to a loud chorus of boos.(cut to commercial)
|
|
|
Post by 'Foretold' Joker on Aug 22, 2007 7:04:47 GMT -5
------ A video starts and shows the city streets at night. we find a couple of youths walking out of a cinema, they head down the main road when they are mugged! We follow the mugger as he turns into an alleyway only to find himself getting hit in the face. Out from the alleyway walks EWT Hall of Famer D'Zee. She hands the stolen property back to the two lads who remain standing around behind her.
D'ZEE: Don't be stupid you little punks! Always keep an eye out for yourselves out on the street you never know who you might run in too!!
D'Zee points at the camera and nods, from the side Curly Long pokes his head into view.
CURLY: Yeah!!
D'Zee bashes him on the head knocking him out!
D'ZEE: and Girls, watch out for perverts too!
Fade out to black screen saying
This was a public service announcement brought to you by the J Kerr corporation! (a subsidiary group of Dorfman Industries.)
------
|
|
|
Post by The Bad Man on Aug 22, 2007 7:05:53 GMT -5
(Return from commercial)
We are backstage and through the curtain walks the almost inhuman shaped man that is the Bad Man. He slams Terry Taylor into the ground with a bodyslam as staff and technicians give him a wide berth. The Bad Man takes Terry Taylor and rams him face first into a wall. bits of wall fall off as Terry Taylor gets jabbed in the throat desperately trying to escape but in too much pain to do so. From out of a nearby door Sum Guy walks out with Candy Girl
SUM GUY: Yeah, so I was saying to Toomi that ... ...
Sum Guy sees The Bad Man and darts back into the room, a few seconds later a hand comes out and drags Candy Girl back in as well. Just in time as Terry Taylor comes flying through and crashes into some tables and crates. The Bad Man continues his horrific attack as he picks up a chair and strikes it across the face of Terry Taylor. Terry takes it hard and goes down to the floor his face bleeding badly. The Bad Man looks at Terry and then looks up madness in his eyes. He takes Terry Taylor and drags him past horrified onlookers before reaching the locker room shower area. The Bad Man dumps Terry Taylor in a bath taking a few shots at his almost defenseless victim and then turns the nozzle filling it with water. The Bad Man grabs the nearby soap and gets it frothy before rubbing it in his opponents eyes! Terry Taylor screams in agony as blood, soap and water mix! The Bad Man walks off his deranged frenzied attack over.
EMT's rush to aid Terry Taylor as the bath begins to overflow.
..
..
..
The Bad Man charges back into the screen shouting and gurgling, his bulbous body knocking EMT's over like pins in a bowling alley. He raises his hands to reveal he is carrying an electric fan that is plugged in to the mains!! EMT's, trainers and several wrestlers rush to stop The Bad Man who presses it into Terry Taylors face. Terry Taylor tries to fend off the whirring fan blades that are slicing his flesh. The Bad Man still not being stopped tries to drop it into the water!!
The arena plunges into darkness
.. .. ..
The lights come back to find the bath overturned, EMT's surround Terry Taylor who is half under it still breathing his body a bloody beaten mess. The Bad Man waddles off his girth glistening from the water his face dripping with his opponents gore. A truly repulsive vision of mayhem and chaos was just witnessed and those in attendance have to wonder who is capable of stopping The Bad Man!
(Cut to promo for Dorfman Industries and what they can do for you in the EWT)
|
|
Spectre
Mike the Goon
"The echo of a point in time..."
Posts: 44
|
Post by Spectre on Aug 22, 2007 11:14:48 GMT -5
Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a 15 minute time limit!
PA system: Say it! Say my name! Prime-Time, bay-bee!
Gorilla: Oh, I’m looking forward to this one, Jess, the overdue matchup between two excellent, very agile athletes!
Ventura: Too bad there’s not a cage here for Skipper to walk around, maybe this time he could’ve given us a REAL show and just dropped off the other side!
Monsoon: WILL YOU STOP?!
Announcer: Introducing first, representing Triple X, weighing in at 222 pounds, he is “Prime Time” Elix Skipper!
-Skipper gives the Triple X signal to the crowd, who boos the representative of the heel faction. He removes his vest, and loosens up, ready for his opponent. A hush comes over the crowd, as they give their usual confused reaction to the sound of Deep Purple’s “Perfect Strangers”-
Announcer: His opponent, from “Everywhere and Nowhere”, weighing in at 223 pound, Spectre!
-Spectre comes from around the side of the entrance ramp, jumping over some of the stage material and slowly making his way down, his mask, as usual, obscuring any features on his face. There are now a couple of pro-Spectre signs in the crowd, but, by and large, the EWT audience still doesn’t know what to make of the self-professed fighting machine.-
-At the sound of the bell, Skipper immediately goes after Spectre to try for a takedown, but Spectre dodges and throws a kick to ward him off. Skipper steps back, holding his hands up, as if to say “Fine, have it your way.” The two measure one another, leading to a lock up, and a quick hammerlock attempt by Spectre. Skipper tries to move around to alleviate the pressure, and manages to loosen it up enough to backflip and reverse, grabbing Spectre in a hammerlock of his own. Spectre struggles for a second, but instead rapidly bridges back, balancing on his feet and head, moving fast enough to bring Elix down along with him. Elix holds his ground and stays on his feet, but Spectre does a backwards tumble, and as he rises, somehow has reversed things yet again, wringing Elix’s arm as he stands back up. Elix attempts a high kick for an escape, but Spectre dodges, keeps the arm wringed, grabs Skipper and nails a Northern Lights Suplex.-
1!
2!
-Kickout by the veteran. Skipper is quick to get to an aggressive stance, and ducks down and wraps his arms around the masked one. Spectre fights, lowering his base to make it harder to take him over, and begins trying to pry Elix’s fingers apart, but the Triple X member is tenacious. Skipper, with a grunt, finally manages to heft Spectre into the air, tries to bring him down to the mat, but Spectre rolls through with an arm drag. Elix gets up and gets another armdrag for his troubles, which Spectre then transitions into a grounded armbar. Elix shakes off the ref, and kicks up to his feet, rolling through, laying on his back, but kicking up and hitting a hard strike to Spectre’s chest. The masked man reels against the ropes, but rebounds off them. Elix leaps to his feet, leapfrogs the masked man, and hits a hiptoss when Spectre comes from the other side. Skipper tries to follow up with a quick stiff kick to the back, but Spectre lays flat on his back, like he has eyes in the back of his head, and as Elix’s strike carries his momentum around, the mysterious one manages to grab at his foot, tripping him down to the mat, and allowing him to put on a headlock.-
GM: Sound strategy by Spectre, slowing down the pace of the match against the aggressive, often reckless Skipper.
JV: Strategy-schmategy, he just wants to bore him to death!
-Elix seems a bit frustrated, but once again moves around and manages an escape. As both men get to their feet Skipper charges, but Spectre swipes his legs out from under him, and goes for a cover…no! He’s just holding Skipper’s shoulder down and scraping his forearm against the veteran’s face!-
JV: What disrespect! Who the heck is this guy to do such a thing to an experienced champion like Elix Skipper?
GM: I suppose the concept of “tactical awareness” means nothing to you, huh, Jess?
JV: I simply subscribe to the concept of “tactical shiftiness”, which is all a man really need, Monsoon.
-In the ring, Skipper is angered, and upon recovering from the insult, starts throwing wild strikes Spectre’s way…playing right into the masked man’s hands. Skippers open hand strikes to manage to push Spectre back a bit towards the corner, and Skipper backs off, picks up a head of steam, charges towards the corner, but Spectre leaps, avoiding him, gets behind him in midair and grabs him with a Dragon Sleeper, bringing him down to the mat with it!-
GM: Spectre taking a page out of the playbook of Elix’s own partner, Low Ki!
-Skipper starts flailing around for dear life, but Spectre holds tight. With a desperate lunge, Elix manages to roll over and kick his feet out towards the ropes, breaking the hold, but Spectre holds it until a 4 count from the ref. Spectre gets up, looking to possibly end the match, and picks Skipper up, nailing him with a hard forearm shot. He holds Skipper’s head, allowing him to hit a few more, before running the ropes, looking like he’s going to hit a lariat…but Skipper manages to bridge back, avoiding it! Spectre stops short, sees Skipper, kicks his leg VERY high and attempts to stomp him square in the chest, but Elix manages to roll away. Keeping with his feet, as Skipper rises, Spectre throws a superkick attempt, which is again ducked, allowing Skipper to grab Spectre and dump him with a backdrop driver! Cover!-
1!
2!
-Barely a kickout by Spectre! Skipper is more pumped now, and picks Spectre up, hitting a few chops before sending him to the corner, where Skipper meets him with a running knee to the chest. Skipper turns Spectre around and climbs the ropes himself, leaping off with a hurricanrana attempt, and snaps it off! Another cover!-
1!
2!
-Spectre grabs the ropes. Skipper follows up, again trying to send Spectre into the turnbuckles, but Spectre reverses. Elix crashes into them, and Spectre IMMEDIATELY charges behind him with a vicious Yakuza Kick in the corner! Spectre picks Skipper up, placing him on the top rope, and looks to hit some kind of suplex from the top…but Skipper’s got enough fight to throw a few dazed punches, slowing Spectre down. The two start attempting to gain control, and both end up on the turnbuckle, each moving a bit slower than when this all began. Spectre, who isn’t the one recovering from a recent Yakuza kick, looks like he gets the upper hand with the blows his sends Skipper’s way, but Skipper eventually manages a loud SMACK, manages to get up to his feet, walk over, balances on the top rope, leaps, and goes to hit his top rope skywalker ‘rana…but Spectre doesn’t budge! Spectre hefts him up into powerbomb position, leaps, and brings Skipper CRASHING down with a vicious aerial powerbomb! Cover!-
1!
2!
3!
-The bell rings.-
Announcer: The winner of this bout, Spectre! (“Perfect Strangers” once more starts up)
GM: Good win there for the enigmatic one, setting himself up with some nice momentum heading into Skies the Limit.
JV: Ah, but maybe then we’ll see what he’s really made of, in a match where every man has to fight dirty, and doom sits there God-knows how many feet below.
-Spectre slowly rises to his feet, and follows his usual post match routine: he waits for Elix to rise, and offers a handshake. Elix initially refuses, but Spectre remains steadfast in offering, and the veteran changes his mind. Immediately, Spectre once more rolls out of the ring, disappearing into the shadows and lesser known nooks and corners of the EWT production areas and Arena.-
|
|
|
Post by dorf on Aug 22, 2007 11:40:30 GMT -5
*camera pans backstage to where dorf is in a secret office.*
dorf:
As I run through The Skies The PPV line-up, the Ronnie L. Cordova and Bad Man match needed something....something "special."
This "special" will be called the Ten-Point Match, which is quoted in the EWT rulebook as such:
I hope you guys will have fun.
And finally, Toom E. Dangerously will have a match for The Skies The Limit II against an unknown wrestler at this time. More on details as I have a business meeting to attend to.
Ciao!
*camera fades to somewhere else.*
|
|
Limey
Unicron
It's been awhile.
Posts: 3,062
|
Post by Limey on Aug 22, 2007 11:59:40 GMT -5
*We are backstage. Sum Guy is present, holding a microphone and wearing an apron.*
SG: I'm Sum Guy, and I lost track of time whilst baking. Ladies and gentlemen, it has been one hellacious week here in EWT, and I'm sure many will agree with me that one such shocker is the return, not only of Carla O Woe...not only for one night only, the Ocean's Beauty Linda Ragnal...but of former EWT World Heavyweight Champion, Limey! Now...I'm here with Carla O Woe, former student and long-time friend of Limey's....(Carla enters the shot), now, Carla...first of all, let me just say you look terrific!
Carla: Thank you, Sum. You're not looking that bad, yourself. Did you do something to your hair?
SG: As a matter of fact, yes! I'm combing it, now! With an actual honest-to-goodness comb! I'm glad you noticed.
Carla: Well, it works for you. Anyway...many of you may be wondering where Carla O Woe has been for the past year...and my answer is simple...I miss the GND Division, and all that it has become over the past year...I was there during its heyday, and I want to build it up again, one more time...I want to hear the crowd once more chant "GND! GND!", and I want to fight the new blood that is trying, like I, like Rosa, like Oceanic...and like Linda to make it big, to make it something that you just wait and wait and wait for to start, and when it does...you just let yourself be blown away by the experience. I'm going to once again show the GND Division what wrestling means to me! Everything that I have brought from ROH, the X Division, Lucha Libre, Puro, WCW's Cruiserweights...I want to bring back to EWT...I want to show the new blood a thing or two...right after I go up against Linda at STL II. Speaking of Linda...
(Carla looks into the camera)
Carla: How long has it been, Linda? How long since you and I were duking it out to find out which one of us was the strongest woman in EWT? I think too long. You helped me out so much when I was starting up...and now you've helped me one more time...bringing me back into EWT. I remember your call. I remember you telling me about Limey...and about if he could return back to the ring...if he could be willing to face the new blood, to prove himself again one more time...then so could I. And here I am. Back, and better than ever. Linda, I owe you so much...but don't think I'm going to go easy on you...I know you miss our bouts...I know they were adrenaline-fuelled contests of honor...of passion...so I'm going to give it my all at STL II, Linda...because I know you wouldn't have it any other way. And Limey...good luck in your rank...I hope you do as well in it as I know I will in mine.
*Carla smiles, quickly flashes up the horns and walks off.*
SG: Strong words from a strong woman. Anyway, from EWT, I'm Sum Guy and (a ringing sound is heard. Sum searches his back pocket to find an egg timer going off)....and...MY CAKES WILL BURN!!!!
*Sum rushes off. We cut to the next segment.*
|
|
The Line
Patti Mayonnaise
Real Name: Bumkiss. Stanley Bumkiss.
Peanut Butter & JAAAAAMMMM!
Posts: 36,698
|
Post by The Line on Aug 22, 2007 15:37:06 GMT -5
The Cidal Squad of Alexa King, Crauswell, Jonathan Doe and Andy Duke walk out of their locker room. Sum Guy trots up to them, microphone in hand.
Sum Guy: Hey! May I have a few words with you?
Duke: Surely.
Sum: What are your thoughts on not having a match at the up coming Pay-Per-View event?
Duke: Actually, more relief than anything. You see, the last two months have been non-stop. Jet flights to England, Japan, Australia, back to the states, then jet setting again. Toom. E. Dangerously has given Mr. Doe and myself some very much deserved time off to recover. And although we are competing here tonight, we are not fully 100%, so we decided to not compete at the next PPV. We needed some time to find ourselves, and we have done just that, and we’ll address that in the ring after our match tonight.
Guy: Speaking of the Cidal Squad, what are your thoughts on Mike Ragnal’s announcemnt?
Duke: Well, like Mr. Doe said, we learned about it a little bit ago. We’ll give our official statement tonight, in the ring, after our match.
*commercial break*
|
|
The Line
Patti Mayonnaise
Real Name: Bumkiss. Stanley Bumkiss.
Peanut Butter & JAAAAAMMMM!
Posts: 36,698
|
Post by The Line on Aug 22, 2007 16:27:28 GMT -5
We cut back to the arena hard cam, and we see Big Mama already in the ring. “She is Beautiful” plays throughout the EWT Arena, as Alexa King and Andy Duke step out through the curtain.
Lillian Garcia: Making her way to the ring, being accompanied by “Insecticidal” Andy Duke, from Chewelah, Washington, “The Cidal Squad First Lady”, Alexa King! And her opponent, Big Mama!
Big Mama doesn’t waste much time at all, using her size to her advantage, pushing Alexa into the corner and barraging her with punches and slaps. The referee gets in between the two, and breaks them apart. He warns Mama about using the closed fists.
Once Alexa gets out of the corner, Mama military press position, and tosses her across the ring like she was a rag-doll.. This is starting to turn into a squash match! Mama picks Alexa up off the canvas again, and military presses her again. This time, however, Alexa is able to able to get down from the press, and hit’s a dropkick to Mama’s back, sending her out to the floor!
Mama gets to her feet, but once she does, Alexa vaults herself over the top rope, knocking Mama down again. But on the impact, Alexa hits her shoulder HARD on the ground, potentially dislocating it. The referee goes outside to check on her, to see if he has to end the match.
While the referee and Alexa are outside the ring, Big Mama is able to regain her composure, and slides in the ring, and watches the referee and Alexa while leaning in the corner, with her back to the ring. Andy Duke slides in on the opposite side, and gets within a few feet of Big Mama. When Big Mama turns around she is startled to see Andy there. Andy hits her with a vicious SUPERKICK, all of this while the referee is focused on Alexa.
Andy Duke slides out of the ring to the opposite side of the arena floor of Alexa and the referee, and casually walks over to the two of them. He feigns concern, but at the same time is able to convince the referee to allow this match to continue. Both the referee and Andy help Alexa into the ring, as Big Mama starts to stir.
With Alexa now in the ring, as Andy shouts some words of encouragement to her. She walks to the still-groggy Big Mama, and with her one good arm, she hits Mama with a flat-liner! She goes for the cover…
1
2
3
Lillian Garcia: Here is your winner by pin fall, ALEXA KING!
Alexa King just stole that one, and to make matters worse, I don’t think she has any idea what happened while she was outside the ring. Andy Duke carries her out of the arena, not too unlike a groom carrying his new bride across the threshold.
*Commercial break*
|
|
|
Post by Ronnie L. Cordova on Aug 22, 2007 16:33:55 GMT -5
*Ronnie Cordova is rolling down the hallway on his skates. He's talking to someone on a cellphone*
Ronnie: Dude, no, the rollerdisco thing is TOTALLY an act! I'm not REALLY a rollerdisco champion, that's crazy! *pause* It's just a character! I only conceded if they'd let me drink beer whenever. *pause* I know, dude, it's awesome! *takes a drink* So how's Skeeter, Beez, Dozer, SteveDave, Boffo, Putty, and the rest of the DKE guys? *pause* Awesome! I'll have to come back soon! OK, I gotta go, business stuff. See ya! *beep*
*hangs up*
Ronnie: Oh man, if they EVER found out I'm really a rollerdisco champ I'd be booted from the frat for sure.
*Spyke Johannson walks in front of him and up to a soda machine.*
Ronnie: OH! MY! GOD! Spyke Johannson!
*Spyke turns his head and looks at Ronnie*
Spyke: Oh, hey.
*Spyke turns his focus back to the soda machine*
Ronnie: Dude, me and you should have a beer sometime. My treat!
Spyke: I'm only 20.
Ronnie: Oh... Well I could get you a fake I.D.
Spyke: Not interested, sorry. *Spyke presses the Mountain Dew button on the soda machine*
Ronnie: Oh ok. Wanna go cow tipping with me and the DKE boys? We're based in Indiana so there's lots of farms!
Spyke: Not... really into that, but thanks. *takes a drink of Mountain Dew*
Ronnie: Smash light bulbs at the abandoned foundry in New Albany?
Spyke: Look, I'm sure you and your frat guys have fun with that, but that's just not not for me. And besides, shouldn't you be worrying about your match with The Bad Man at Skies the Limit II?
Ronnie: Match? The Bad Man? Skies the Limit II?
Spyke: Yeah, the Ten Point match. One point for a weapon strike, five for putting your opponent through a table. First to 10, wins.
Ronnie: Ahh, crap! That guy is huge! How am I supposed to win?
Spyke: Speed, man! Speed! Just keep moving! Use a light weapon, like a kendo stick! Stick and move! Stick and move!
Ronnie: Well, alright. I guess I'd better go prepare for my funeral.
Spyke: You're not going to win with that attitude! Say it with me. "I WILL TAKE DOWN THE BAD MAN!"
Ronnie: ...I will take down the bad man...
Spyke: Louder.
Ronnie: I will take down The Bad Man.
Spyke: LIKE YOU MEAN IT!
Ronnie: I WILL TAKE DOWN THE BAD MAAAAAAAAAAN!
*Ronnie is huffing and puffing and Spyke is taken aback.*
Spyke: That... was... good...
Ronnie: OUT OF MY WAY SKINNY BRITCHES! I'VE GOT A MATCH TO PREPARE FOR!
*Ronnie rolls off camera*
Spyke: Ahh... I have a ringing in my ear now.
*Spyke walks off. Fade to commercial/next segment/black*
|
|
Square
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Official Ambassador
Grand Poobah of Scavenger Hunts 2011
Square-Because he looks good at all the right angles.
Posts: 18,700
|
Post by Square on Aug 23, 2007 8:06:19 GMT -5
Andy "The Eagle" Davidson is seen skipping in the Gorilla position warming up for his tag match which is up next when Sum Guy runs into view and tugs on Davidson's shoulder.
Sum Guy: panting Andy, something’s happened with John and the Rat Pack come quick!
Sum Guy hustles out of the door as Davidson grabs his snooker cue and follows. Sum guy leads Davidson to a closed door, which Sum Guy opens. As the door opens, we see the bloodied and unconscious Rat Pack, Matt Bourne and Ted Dibiase. John Valentine stands in the center clad in his face paint and Viper gear. The word "Virus" is largely written on the wall in the blood of the Rat Pack.
Andy Davidson: OH HOLY HELL, ARE THEY DEAD?!
Valentine creeps up from his knelt position and Sum Guy slams the door shut, locking it quickly. Meanwhile, animal like noises can be heard from inside.
Sum Guy: I guess the match it off then...
Davidson: You think?!
Sum Guy: Guess that means that more time for the main eve-
Davidson: Whoa, whoa, whoa, I got a little story I can tell.
Sum Guy: Harry potter?
Davidson: ...No. In the medieval days there was a lord called Lord Sparks and this dude was so up his own buttocks he thought he was better than everyone; the king, the knights and even God. One day he went to a local tavern and ticked off a man who was drinking. The man stood up, punched him in the nose and then sat back down. Lord Spark’s ego was verily hurt, so he slammed a chair across the back of the drinking man. So the man at the bar stood up and challenged Lord Sparks to a fight, that Lord Sparks accepted. While they fought, the man ripped Lord Spark’s head off of his worthless body and Lord Spark's neck became a bloody fountain. The moral of this story is simple, SMARKY IM GOING TO MAKE YOU BLEED! And if my words didn’t put a picture in your mind how about this:
Davidson grabs Sum Guy and pulls from his pocket a bottle of ketchup and pours the blood red liquid over Sum Guy
Davidson: At Skies the Limit II, Smarky, I will beat you, and like I said before: I don’t make idol threats, I simply make promises.
Fade out.
|
|
|
Post by raftshack on Aug 23, 2007 10:48:44 GMT -5
We cut to the ring, as some type of AWF theme starts up, the crowd giving a nice nostalgic pop as former AWF Tag Team Champions, Tommy Rich and Greg Valentine start heading down to the ring, heeling it up, as they slip into the ring, the bell sounding to signal this next match.
Announcer: The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, at a combined weight of 491 pounds, respectively from Hendersonville, Tennessee and Seattle, Washington, Tommy Rich and Greg Valentine!
Valentine and Rich head over to their corner of the ring, arms folded as they await their opponents. They don't have to wait long as the familiar tune of Apache starts up, the lights dimming as lasers, spotlights and all that jazz start showing up everywhere, a puff of purple smoke appearing atop the ramp way, as Zeleke and Faboon stand there, charging and cartwheeling down the ramp way! They stop in front of the ring, each one with a manic grin, as Faboon slaps his chest and Zeleke smacks his.... crotch, Valentine and Rich looking on with the usual confusion most of their opponents have.
Announcer: And their opponents, at a combined weight of 399 pounds, from Foreign Alien Island, Zeleke and Faboon, Team Raft-Shack!
The Raft Shackians roll into the ring quickly, as Zeleke high fives Faboon's face, who responds with a head butt to the chest, shoving his tag team partner out of the ring onto the apron, giggling a bit, as Zeleke simply shrugs, bouncing up and down atop the apron, as Rich volunteers to start off for the other side.
Faboon starts quickly circling the ring, with a rather twisted look on his face, as Rich follows, the two meeting in the center, Rich taking Faboon into a headlock. Faboon quickly elbows his way free, spinning behind and clinching on a hammerlock, as Rich grimaces a bit, reaching behind and elbowing his own way free as well with a free arm, as Faboon stumbles back, Rich coming off the ropes for a clothesline, Faboon catching him with an arm drag in response! Rich looks a bit surprised, rising back up and charging for a second, Faboon dropping into a backhand spring, crab walking out of the way, then popping up, as Rich turns around, Faboon charging and hitting a cross body! He takes Rich down for the cover. 1...2 Rich kicks out.
Faboon watches, a bit amused, as he backs off, tagging Zeleke in across the face, who gleefully vaults into the ring, charging at Rich and snapping off a Dropsault, sending him stumbling back. Zeleke pops back up and charges after, rich quickly dropping him over the top rope, only for Zeleke to land on the apron, Rich turning around, right into a forearm to the face, Zeleke ramming his shoulder and hunching Rich over, then leaping and rolling him into a Sunset Flip pin! 1....2 Rich kicks out again. Zeleke rises back up, rubbing his palms together, as he charges toward the turnbuckle, springing atop with ease, then leaping for a flying clothesline. Rich however sees it coming, catching and countering with a simple clothesline! Zeleke crumples and goes down, as Rich pulls him by his pink mane, hitting some quick jabs, then whipping him off into the opposite corner, tagging in Valentine. He locks him in a Full Nelson, as Valentine delivers a few body blows, hunching Zeleke over, then following with a double axe handle to put him down into the mat. He follows with an elbow drop, before popping back up and tagging in Rich. Rich waits for Zeleke to rise, grabbing him from behind, only for Zeleke to reach behind and get off a snapmare! he charges toward the ropes, looking for a front dropkick to the face! Rich however rolls out of the way, Zeleke landing flat, as Tommy pulls him back up again, hoisting him high for a backbreaker! Zeleke groans, as Rich pulls him up for a Belly to Back suplex, before going for a cover. 1....2.... Zeleke kicks out.
Rich delivers a few quick stomps to his prone opponent, before walking over and tagging out to Valentine. Valentine grabs Zeleke by the leg, delivering a few stomps, as he grabs and pulls him up for a knee smash, only for Zeleke to roll forward and escape the move! Valentine looks on in shock, as he quickly leaps up, looking for a Pele kick, only for Valentine to catch and plant him with a Piledriver! Zeleke bounces off the mat, as Valentine simply makes the cover. 1....2...
Zeleke manages to kick out. Valentine chuckles, walking over and grabbing the leg again, stomping more at it, then dragging him back to his ring corner, tagging in Rich, then applying a Single Leg Crab. Rich meanwhile walks over, delivering some nasty stomps to Zeleke's face, as he covers to protect it, while enduring this submission. Valentine eventually loosens the hold when the referee gets onto him, Rich walking over and dragging Zeleke over toward the center of the ring, slapping the move on himself, as Zeleke gasps in pain, starting to try and make his way to the bottom rope. Rich however holds on tight, keeping the move locked on, as Faboon looks on, though it's hard to tell if he cares about his partner's plight. The pink haired warrior keeps crawling more and more desperately, as Rich continues try to hold him back, but Zeleke keeps advancing, lunging out and... missing the rope, as Valentine casually places his foot in front of it. The referee notices this quickly, getting onto Valentine, allowing Faboon to slip into the ring, charging and nailing Rich with a Shining Wizard, then quickly exit, as Tommy loosens his grip, allowing his opponent to slip out! Zeleke grasps that leg again, which hasn't completely recovered with that encounter against Big and Bad, as he looks over at a hunched Rich, charging off the ropes and bouncing off his back for a Mushroom Stomp, then landing on his head with a double footed stomp! Rich yelps in pain, as he rolls along the mat, Zeleke hopping over now, tagging out to Faboon whose back on the apron!
The referee turns around, just in time to see Faboon snap off a dropkick in Rich's face, walking over and since he didn't see the damn tag, making Faboon go back out and Zeleke go back in. The crowd boos this incompetence, as Valentine grins fiendishly, motioning to Rich, who rises up, taking down the returning Zeleke with a vicious clothesline! Zeleke gets turned inside out, landing with a thud, as Rich walks over, clutching that skull, tagging out to Greg. Greg yanks Zeleke back into the center of the ring, stomping some more at the same leg, then quickly applying the Figure Four Leg Lock! Zeleke looks on in pain, as he cringes a bit, trying to wriggle free, to very little effect. Greg continues applying pressure, as Zeleke valiantly sits up, trying to punch his way out, to no avail, as Valentine keeps the hold on, eager to get his opponent to submit. Zeleke however holds on, then suddenly getting an idea, rolling over onto his stomach and reversing the move! Valentine looks on in shock as he quickly struggles out of the hold. Zeleke starts crawling again toward his ring corner, as Valentine charges, yanking Zeleke by that leg, only for him to counter with a quick enziguri! He then lunges out, just like last time, tagging in Faboon!
Faboon leaps into the ring, charging and hitting the rising Valentine with a flying forearm, then kipping up, charging at Rich and knocking him off the apron with a dropkick to the face! Valentine charges again, as Faboon counters with a drop toe hold, Valentine groaning and pushing himself to his feet, Faboon quickly grabbing and taking him down with a running bulldog! He pops back to his feet, running off the ropes and hitting a flipping senton, crashing across Greg's chest, as he gasps in pain, Faboon strutting over and tagging in Zeleke again, who hops back into the ring, Faboon pulling Valentine up from behind, then dropping across a knee for a backbreaker, as Zeleke leaps up, hitting a standing moonsault, hitting the chest as well, as Valentine lands flat. Faboon then charges full speed, taking the rising Rich down again with a suicide dive through the ropes! Zeleke cackles happily now, as he charges toward the ropes, spring-boarding off the top and looking for a Lemon with a Twist of Mango! He connects, grasping that leg a bit, as Faboon slides back into the ring, nodding, then leaping off with the Crashing Helicopter Crunch! He collides as well, driving the air out of Valentine, as Zeleke drops down to make the cover. 1.....2.....
Rich charges in once again to try and make the save, but Faboon cuts him off with a spinning wheel kick to the face!
3!!!
Raft Shack continues their winning ways... if you count last week as a win.
Announcer: Here are your winners.... Team Raft-Shack!
Faboon starts leaping up and down with joy, as Zeleke follows, nursing that leg still as he raises and shakes a fist triumphantly, Rich slapping the mat in frustration at his team's loss. The Raft Shackians look at each other, Faboon galloping over and snatching the announcer's microphone, then galloping back over.
Faboon: The time of seriousity is once again in our palms... for you shall see, the team from the cosmos and the masters of duo plateau have issued, what shall be referred to as a FRISKY CHALLENGING! They have thrown that gauntlet into the lake... and we have been amongst those splashed by it's wetness! Our curiousity... mayhap been peaked, so we have no choice but to throw that sombrero into your ring!
Zeleke hops over, snatching the microphone.
Zeleke: May I have the blondie... he seems of my persuasion!
Faboon smacks him aside the head with the microphone.
Faboon: HE IS NOT OF THE TRUE TJT ones, he's just the lackey!
Zeleke: Blastosity... I would have adored an exploration of his passion!
Faboon: Keep your head into competing frolic and OUT OF GENTLEMEN'S BOXEROOS BOY!
Zeleke: NEVERLY!!!!!!!
Faboon: Of returning to the topic at hand, we defeated the Biggy and Baddy, who have now ran off and away from eachselve, to do mayhaps none identify... I CERTAINLY AM OF THE BAFFLINGED!!! Nonetheless... our victoriousness has bred certainty and that beautiful inspiration has told us, we must be a challenger of the glorious EWT Tag Teaming Champions! We shall either win a match granted by Luck's drawers... or we shall go in and assimilate all the remaining ringgoers that impede our march onto the road of excellency!
Zeleke: Yes, let's dance atop the corpses of fallen foes... because I LIKE SHINY THINGS!
Faboon: As do I... certainly as do I sir.
Faboon pulls out a pair of pens, charging full speed out of the ring and up the ramp way, heading to the sign up sheet, as Zeleke kinda hobbles behind, not too far behind, the crowd cheering for these two lunatics and their declaration to challenge TJT.
We immediately cut to commercial.
|
|
Curly Long
AC Slater
Midget Wrestling Master
Posts: 234
|
Post by Curly Long on Aug 23, 2007 15:31:11 GMT -5
We are backstage and Curly long is outside TJT's locker room area next to the sign up sheet for the gauntlet. He takes it down and signs up for the match, as he finishes Candy Girl approaches.
CANDY GIRL: Hi i'm Candy Girl and I was given flowers by a mystery admirer today! Hey Curly was it you?
CURLY: Flowers? ... hahah ...
Curly continues laughing for a while
CURLY: ... oh ... hahah ... that's a good one, there's as much chance of me giving a girl flowers as there is Raftshack making a coherent speech ... hahahee
Candy Girl remains bright and happy though
CANDY GIRL: So Curly Long you have signed up for the tag team gauntlet then?
CURLY: Yeah, sure have.
CANDY: But I don't see ya partner?
CURLY: Hey lady don't you worry about that, Mr. Big will be here in time for the tag team gauntlet and I guarantee we will win it. We're former tag champs you know and with that kind of experience we are bound to beat all the other teams.
Candy Girl just huims to herself now. Curly takes the microphone
CURLY: Ok tag teams of the EWT listen up, The Midget King is going to take those two gold belts back to where they belong ... that's right they are coming back to the main event midget and his ass kicking giant. You seen all those fairytale stories where the giants and the dwarves get the secondary roles? Well no more ...
The crowd actually for once approves of Curly Long and gives him a bit of a cheer.
CURLY: Raftshack your on a bit of a roll as of late and I can understand why, how does anyone face two unpredictable loons such as you two. All I know is that roll is going to come to a grinding halt!
Candy girl comes out of her daze and starts to listen
CURLY: Team Ireland you may have the luck of the Irish but I don't see any leprechauns at the end of your rainbow! Only your faces turning green when you realise you've been beaten by the better team, namely me!
Candy Girl wanders off screen for some reason
CURLY: Nyrds put down that retro pacman game and wake up! You may have returned but your still stuck in the past, Midget King and Company are leveling up can you keep pace?
the crowd once again gives a bit of a cheer
CURLY: Cidal Squad your best days are numbered! Speaking of numbers it seems your about to have a few subtractions what with Ragamuffin heading to the old folks home! The end of the Cidal era is nigh! The Long era of the Midget King is about to begin!
The cheer gets louder
CURLY: Which leaves you Thunder and Jupiter! You know you two got me thinking, sure you won the titles but something was missing, oh yes that's right me and my man Big's moment to shine. You two have never faced the Curly one and the Big follower, you have yet to experience a Curly Creamer although I'm sure Terina has thought about it! heh ... So it's time for lightning to strike and crown new tag team champions ... Midget King & Company!
The cheering is now easily heard, as Candy Girl comes back with Koko B Ware in tow with a parrot.
KOKO: Hey mini-man, it's you and me in the ring tonight are you ready?
CURLY: What about your team mate Chris Adams? and I thought your parrot died?
KOKO: This is my new parrot 'Frankie II' and as for Adams he had to face Cassinova instead.
CURLY: Well ok Koko, new parrot or not I'll see you in the ring!
Koko moves off as Candy Girl tries to feed 'Frankie II' a cracker. Curly turns back to the camera
CURLY: Get Ready EWT because Midget King and Company is back in business and raring to go, we're going to beat those teams in the gauntlet black & blue and then paint there women white ... oh yeah!!
Curly gives a sly grin to the camera before walking off
Curly pops back into view
CURLY: To you women, it's room 14 at the Sunlake Motel!
Curly gives a cheesy grin rubs his bald head, winks and then walks off, leaving us to zoom in on the sign up sheet on the door of the TJT locker room.
(fade out)
|
|
Smarky
Mike the Goon
Posts: 14
|
Post by Smarky on Aug 23, 2007 16:06:14 GMT -5
[We cut backstage to find Jonnie Sparks and Tard Grisham] Tard: So...apparently Davidson was talking about you today. Sparks: Oh, really? I could use some entertainment. Let's hear it. [Tard turns on the TV] Sparks: You know...I'm familiar with the gorilla position too...though not of the exercise variety... Tard: Keep it clean, Jonnie. Sparks: Whoa, I didn't know they were still alive. Tard: Do you think I could get Dean's autograph? Sparks: If he's sober. Sparks: [As John Valentine] Um...I didn't do it? Tard: This is starting to sound like a black metal album cover. Sparks: Ah, I do love them crazy swedes. Sparks: [As announcer] The part of Andy "The Eagle" Davidson will now be played by Don West. Tard: He sure does keep cool under pressure. Sparks: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH WHAT A RUUUUUUUUUSH! Tard: Maybe they meant Batista. Sparks: [Batista] That's my bloody carcass, and this Sunday, I'll be needing it back. Sparks: You know Tard, I don't give you nearly enough credit. You're TWICE the interviewer this guy is. Tard: Damn skippy. [Takes a sip of iced tea] Tard: I preferred Lord of the Flies, personally. Sparks: I'm more of a Stephen King guy, myself. Sparks: Hey Tard, you think this might...be a metaphor or something? Tard: Beats me. This is FAR too subtle for me. Sparks: Oh they are NOT giving me enough credit here. I'd spike his drink with LSD. Let's see how well he fights when he thinks I'm a giant Pop-Tart. Tard: The black metal crowd must LOVE this guy. Sparks: [Stands up] GET MY BLOODY NAME RIGHT, YOU WANKER! Tard: Jonnie, remember your therapy... Sparks: So...does he just carry a bottle of ketchup around with him all the time in case of these types of situations? Tard: [Too busy laughing to respond] Sparks: I make idol threats all the time. Remember that letter I wrote to Kelly Clarkson? Tard: [Rimshot] Sparks: So Tard, what did you learn today? Tard: I learned that even if you find your psychosis-afflicted tag partner surrounded by bloody bodies, it's not really necessary to acknowledge it. Sparks: And I learned that all pro wrestlers should always carry a bottle of Heinz Ketchup with them in case of an emergency lack of condiments. [Fade out]
|
|
|
Post by teamireland on Aug 23, 2007 17:19:18 GMT -5
*Coach O'Hare along with Sean McCann & Aidan Donnelly approach the sign-up sheet for TJT's Tag-Team gauntlet. As O'Hare lifts the clip-board down to sign, the door of TJT's office immediately opens as Thunder, Jupiter & Terina step out. Sean jumps a little, startled by their sudden appearance.*
O'Hare: What the hell? Are youse all waiting there 'til someone goes to put their name on your sign-up sheet so that you can jump out & scare the crap out of them? Thunder: [Aside to Jupiter & Terina, sarcasm oozing from his jaws] How could he possibly know? *Thunder and Jupiter both laugh under their breath, and Terina elbows both of them in the ribs.* Terina: [Tosses her hair non-chalantly; addresses Team Ireland] Of course not! Don't be ridiculous! Jupiter: What makes you guys think that you even have a chance against us anyway? I mean, when I total-- Aidan: Here, remember that one time you got beat, mate? Do you remember which is the only team in EWT to hold a victory over youse? Terina: A DQ victory, [makes finger quotes] "mate"! Not really much to be bragging about in my opinion. O'Hare: Look here, love, we're still the only team you've come across so far that you haven't been able to beat. And, if memory serves, said match was for those very EWT World Tag-Team titles your boys are holding right now. Thunder: Well, just so you guys know, we plan on holding on to these for a very long time. Er... Jason, what's the current record for an EWT World Tag-Team title reign? Jupiter: I believe it's... hm.... 140 days. And I also believe that said record is held by Team Ireland. However, I am one hundred percent posiitive that record will be eclipsed by the current Tag-Team Champions.
*Jason pulls back his trenchcoat, revealing his tag belt, as does Jim.* O'Hare: You're dreaming, son. You haven't even had those belts for a fortnight & already you're talking about surpassing the longest reigning & greatest EWT World Tag-Team Champions in history? The team that brought The Nyrds to their dark side! The team that fought off 6 other men in the first ever Tag-Team Elimination Chamber! The team that caused Raskall & Trunk to split! The team that scared off Prophecy Reborn! The team that ended the career of Paul Friggin' Podanski! The team that proved themselves to be the most dangerous in all of wrestling for five months! The team that handed TJT their first & only loss here in EWT!
*O'Hare hands the clip-board to Aidan who signs, then hands it to Sean.*
O'Hare: The same team that just signed up to enter your little gauntlet here! Fact is, we'll be saviours of this division. I've never seen it in such a sorry state. We went from a pair of idiots obsessed with sandwiches to a pair of lads that brought things to a dead halt & went gallivanting off around the world to give the belts a status they already had! Now, a couple'a spoiled rich kids... who we've already...
Terina: Oh, will you stop beating that dead horse?! You beat us by DQ! Whoop-dee-damn-doo! We've beaten plenty of teams ourselves, y'know!
O'Hare: Before ye go rhymin' off a list, love, I just have to tell you a few things... [Turns to Sean] Gimme the list, Sean.
*McCann reaches into his pocket & takes out a folded up scrap of paper & hands it to O'Hare. O'Hare unfolds the paper. It's huge, nearly the same size as the Coach's torso. O'Hare reaches into his own pocket & takes out a pair of tiny half-moon spectacles. He places them on his nose, clears his throat & reads from the paper.*
O'Hare: 1) This is one team you have not beat. 2) This team will be the next EWT World Tag-Team Champions. 3) That outfit makes your arse look big.
*At mention of this item, Sean McCann starts craning his neck around to get a good look at Terina's behind. She notices & gives him a withering look. Sean just winks back at her.*
O'Hare:& 4) YOU WILL NEVER BEAT THE IRISH!
Thunder: You needed a sheet of paper THAT big just for those 4 things?
*O'Hare rolls the paper up & tosses it aside, not answering.* O'Hare: Point is, we're not intimidated in the slightest. We've got the edge over youse in nearly every field. Aidan's got superior wrestling skill; Sean's faster than either of you & Team Ireland have the best manager in all of wrestling. Terina: Wait! I manage you guys? I don't remember that. Unless that was a contract about that when my father hired all those pathetic immigrant laborers from Ire--eeerrrrrr...Iceland! Iceland! I think it was Iceland! *Sean lifts an eyebrow in disgust and hands O'Hare back the clipboard & O'Hare slaps the clipboard back into Jupiter's chest.* O'Hare: See ya's at the PPV, lads. *Team Ireland exit, but we see that Terina is looking over her shoulder, into a mirror.* Terina: Does my ass REALLY look that big? *Thunder & Jupiter also take a look at Terina's rear end in the mirror.*
Thunder: [Drops his sunglasses and neither nods nor shakes his head] Damn! Jupiter: [Starts to scratch his chin] Damn! Ron Simmons: DAMN!
*Terina has an immediate "WTF?" expression, but her partners begin to chuckle under their breath. Simmons walks away and behind all of them Jack Jupiter walks up, also looking.*
Jack: Damn!
Jupiter: WOULD YOU GET OUT OF HERE?!
*Jack flashes a cheesy, sheepish grin and runs off.*
Thunder: The nerve of some people and their sordid ways!
*Jim quickly leans his head back down, looking again, before the three walk away and the camera fades out.*
|
|
|
Post by DieShiguya on Aug 23, 2007 18:41:50 GMT -5
*Cue to a slightly familiar pure white room, with soft-looking padded walls. Blended in the wall and holding that all-too gorgeous purple guitar of his, stands Die Shiguya, the man who could outpretty just about everything. His face holds no emotion, and he strikes a single chord, before glancing at the camera, a grim look appearing slightly. He strikes another melancholy chord, and another, until his hands are flickering across the strings and his voice bursts into the air.*
On that frigid night, I swore on ghostlights I promised on those lights that I would fight... I would fight my virtuous divinity To have you eternally with me..
However, wasn’t meant to be. You see, my unfortunate lover... The ground laid claim to another.. My secret cherished one had left me....
Left me to suffer and decay. Left me to the light of day. The nights were freezing, My dreams were weeping. And yet I go on...
I know your soul has been misplaced And now your eyes are gonna look disgraced But don’t fear, I’m gonna find you And in my arms...my amour will be renewed....
* His voice falters out, and his hair strays back in front of his eyes. He goes still and is motionless against the wall as the camera continues onward to EWT's next segment.*
|
|