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Post by thecursedone on Sept 5, 2007 3:14:49 GMT -5
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Post by raftshack on Sept 5, 2007 11:33:09 GMT -5
we cut to the EWT ring, as The Untouchables are seen standing inside the ring, with their manager, Cherry Pie, on the outside, the crowd giving this duo a decent amount of heat. They turn towards the entranceway as Apache starts up, lights dimming, lasers and spotlights appearing everywhere, as in a puff of familiar smoke, Raft Shack leaps out, walking sideways down the rampway, heads bobbing all over, the crowd cheering their lunticish heroes loudly.
Announcer: The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Approaching the ring, from Foreign Alien Island, at a combined weight of 399 pounds, Zeleke and Faboon, Team Raft-Shack!
The two continue stepping oddly down to the ring, Faboon going around one side, as Zeleke goes to the other, both men stopping in front of Cherry, as Faboon grins, admiring the female, as Zeleke meanwhile tries to pet the poodle on her skirt, as The Untouchables watch, neither of them approving of this odd action, Eventually, a sad Zeleke sulks away, at his failure to pet a design, as Faboon cackles at his partner's misfortune. They leap onto the apron, vaulting into the ring, as The two Untouchables look at these two bizarre beings, looking ready to pound them into the canvas.
Announcer: And the opponents, currently in the ring, accompanied by Cherry Pie, from the Other Side of the Tracks, at a combined weight of 465 pounds, The Untouchables!
The Untouchables look at each other as they determine who should start off, as do Raft Shack. Eventually it looks to be OVW Deuce starting off with Zeleke. The bell rings, as Zeleke grins, winking at Deuce, who glares back, charging for a clothesline, which Zeleke rolls under! Deuce turns around, Zeleke popping back up and delivering a quick series of kicks, finishing with a Helicopter Kick, taking Deuce down! Zeleke quickly flips back to his feet, right into a standing moonsault press, for a cover. 1...2 Deuce kicks out. Zeleke nods, popping back up with ease, as he pulls Deuce up with him, whipping him off into the opposite turnbuckle, then charging and hitting a spinning wheel kick, seating Deuce into the bottom of the corner, as Zeleke reaches over, tagging Faboon on the arse, as he reaches back and smacks Zeleke in the face, then leaps into the ring. Deuce stumbles back to his feet, the pair taking him down with an STO/Russian Leg Sweep combo, as Faboon then charges, springboard off the middle rope, back into a flipping leg drop across the throat, going for a cover of his own. 1....2
Deuce kicks out once again. Faboon smacks his forehead, then pulls Deuce back up, walking over and tagging back in Zeleke, right in the face. Zeleke doesn't seem to care, as he hops into the ring, Faboon whipping Deuce off the ropes, catching him as he comes back with an Arm Drag, sending him sailing, as Zeleke grabs Deuce from behind as he rises, hitting a reverse DDT! Faboon exits the ring as Zeleke charges and leaps atop the top turnbuckle, springing off for a double footed stomp to Deuce's face, who rolls out of the way! Zeleke lands perfectly, aiming a kick right at Deuce's face, who counters and catches the leg, pulling himself up, then yanking Zeleke into a clothesline, taking him down! Zeleke rises back to his feet, right into a punch to the face from Deuce! He unleashes a few more, then sends Zeleke off the ropes, catching him as he comes back with a Jumping Heel Kick Enziguri! He smirks, looking for a cover. 1....2..
Zeleke kicks out. Deuce yanks him to his feet, walking over and quickly tagging in OVW Domino. Deuce holds Zeleke in a full nelson, as Domino starts working over him with some more fists to the face, before Deuce shoves him into his tag partner's arms, Domino then catching him with a clothesline of his own! Zeleke grasps at the neck slightly, Domino sitting him back up, hitting a few quicks to the back of that neck, before tagging Deuce back in. They both pull Zeleke up, as Domino leaps onto the second rope, coming off, just as Deuce grabs and takes Zeleke down with a cutter! He quickly sits Zeleke back up, clinching on a simple sleeper hold, as Zeleke gasps a bit, fighting this old school move, as Faboon looks on, seeming to enjoy Zeleke's plight for some reason. The pink haired being meanwhile starts fighting quickly to his feet, elbowing his way out, then leaping for a dropkick, Deuce quickly catching and turning it into a powerbomb! Zeleke yelps, bouncing off the mat, as Deuce pulls him back to his corner, making the cover. 1....2....
Zeleke manages to kick out again. Deuce looks a bit more annoyed, as he pulls him back up, only for Zeleke to desperately break out, then leap and hit a jumping Enziguri! Duece acks, crumpling to the mat, as Zeleke starts quickly crawling towards the opposite side, clutching at the neck, as Deuce rises back up, quickly chasing after Zeleke, but it's too late, as he leaps forward, quickly tagging in Faboon! Faboon leaps into the ring, charging and hitting Duece with a flying forearm, kipping back up, then charging at Domino on the apron, hitting a dropkick to his face, dazing him slightly, then following up with a Savate kick to the face, sending him flying off the apron! The crowd cheers as Deuce rises back up, Faboon charging right at him, springing up and snapping off a Hurracanrana! Deuce goes sailing forward, as he rises back up, Faboon charging and hitting a calf kick, sending him stumbling into the turnbuckle! The young man then backs up, charging full speed and leaping off with a Moonsault kick, then sending Deuce back into the opposite corner, charging over and tagging in Zeleke, who hops into the ring, charging full speed and hitting a stinger splash, the Untouchable stumbling out of the corner.as both men whip him off, leaping up and taking him down with twin scissor kicks, completing Cooler than Heat! Zeleke quickly drops down, going for a cover. 1....2....
NO! Deuce kicks out. Faboon looks on in annoyance, as they quickly turn their attention back to Domino who is climbing back up onto the apron, both men charging full speed and snapping off a Dial That Phone, cracking Domino again in the skull, taking him back to the outside, as Deuce rises back up, Faboon running off the ropes and hitting a knee clip, taking Deuce down to both knees, as Zeleke charges after, snapping off a Shining Wizard! Deuce crumples, Zeleke once again going for the cover. 1....2....
STILL NO! Deuce gets the shoulder up. Zeleke holds a hand under his chin, nodding with a sudden serious look, then quickly dropping down, as Faboon nods, the two surrounding and hitting Deuce as he rises back up with the Halt Grinder! Deuce goes down with ease, as Zeleke covers, Faboon charging once again, vaulting over the top and taking Domino as he rises again with a somersault plancha! 1....2....
3!
Team Raft Shack defeats the Untouchables.
Announcer: Here are your winners, Team Raft-Shack!
Faboon and Zeleke both leap up, marching triumphantly in place, as Faboon spins, looking to the outside, gazing maniacally at Cherry Pie on the outside, who shudders a bit, Zeleke meanwhile too busy running around in circles, before eventually falling over from dizziness, rolling right out of the ring and stumbling rather dazed back up the rampway, Faboon quickly charging after and following.
We quickly cut to the next segment.
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Square
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Official Ambassador
Grand Poobah of Scavenger Hunts 2011
Square-Because he looks good at all the right angles.
Posts: 18,700
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Post by Square on Sept 5, 2007 16:59:01 GMT -5
*A errey chant of “Holy Father Save Us” echos over the EWT speakers as a burning chalace is shown on the Toomitron, the lights cut off and the chalace shows a tall man wearing a white robe and a hood standing behind it*
Holy Father: My children, the Holy Father has been watching EWT and the sins have forced me to take action. My children the Holy Father and the Church of the Holy Father are coming to free you of your sins, by making you bleed a drop of blood for every sin.
*Another, taller, man appears and goes onto his knees and the Holy Father from his robes pulls out a dagger and the Holy Father slowly cuts the forhead of the unknown man*
*Fade Out*
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Post by Mella Drom Attoc on Sept 5, 2007 18:03:02 GMT -5
*Back from one of those things that you fans have... Oh you know, video commercial ads. The camera scans inside the most lavish locker room in the whole land, the head quarters of Coming Attraction Productions. At one section, Lull Songstra rests in a tub full off milk (if you have to ask, you're a peasant) looking rather comfortable... Without a care in the world. Meanwhile, on the other side, the familiar figure of Tim Cruis is near the edge of the room, currently encased in a very expensive looking tanning bed, pretty much relaxing at the moment. He too, doesn't seem concerned about anything right now either
Lull: Dear friend, this is the life is it not? That we have all that most will spent all they're lives in sought.
Cruis: Yeah, sure... I suppose it is. I mean, I don't see why it wouldn't be. We're pretty much on top of the world right now, even lined up for the possibility of some kind of Tag Team Title thing. Not that I doubted we'd get such an opportunity
Lull: And I will crush Mr. Wanntadie-ah. When I'm done with him, he'll hide in shame and want to cry-ah.
Cruis: Yeah, I doubt you'll have problems beating some guitar playing guy. That nobody doesn't even seem the type to have ever seen the sun. The guy could at least be like me and keep his skin looking nice and bronzed
Lull: Right you are, my friendly star.
Cruis opens up the tanning bed, climbing out, as he reaches over, grabbing a bottle of imported spring water, guzzling some down, then walking over, grabbing an expensive looking blue shirt and slipping it on, following up with some equally pricy looking slacks, before walking over and seating in a nearby massage chair. Meanwhile Lull grabs his duckie to play with... A solid gold duckie.
Cruis: I wonder what's keeping Zed. I wouldn't care too much where he was if he hadn't promised he'd be here to... discuss certain things.
Lull: Perhaps we should give him some like a pay cut. You know, a pay cut!
Cruis: Nah... I know Zed. He may be fat, ugly, old, and... bi curious, but he's reliable. After all, he got us our contracts, didn't he? Let's give him... another minute...
Lull: I'm in it..... for.
Almost immediately, Zed busts into the room, sweating a bit, as he reaches into his pocket, grabbing a handkerchief and wiping his brow.
Zed: Sorry fellas, I got caught up with... something. I hope I didn't worry either of you two.
Lull: I would I worry?
Cruis: So Zed, did you... take care of business?
Zed: Heh, why I most certainly did! It may have cost a pretty penny or so, but I do believe that you and Lully here will be VERY pleased with your spot.
Lull: Do tell, good sir... Do tell!
Zed: Well, I just told them to give ya the number one spot. You guys should have no problem beating down those other folks!
Lull: That's smart thinking, Zed! You sure are a master at using your head.
Zed grins wide, simply nodding at this fact
Zed: Well of course I am! No need to point it out Lully, but thanks anyway
Lull: What of our last opponents? Were they away eating donuts?
Cruis: Yeah, who were they again? The Region of Gloom or somethin...
Zed: Wrong legion there. I gotta say though, your not one I'd pegged as being into that kinda stuff...
Cruis: Oh. No, I'm really not. I just remember somebody offered me spot on some kind of movie involving that thing. I turned it down of course since they wouldn't let me be someone awesome...
Lull: Could you believe they wanted him to be Solomon Grundy? He should be Lux Luthor, not some guy that rhymes with Humvee.
Pine: See, this is why I frown on freelancing. Others just don't have a knack when it comes to writing good scripts.
Cruis: You're right Zed, as usual. Getting back to this OTHER Legion of Doom though, got any pictures of em?
Lull: Or maybe they rather have pictures of us with signatures, em?
Cruis: Forget it. I don't do autographs... that's a waste of my pen's ink.
Lull: The same goes for me! Why can't Gooni let us be?
Zed reaches around in his pocket, pulling out something he brought with him, pictures of CAP's opponent's they never bothered to face last week. Cruis takes one look, as his eyes go wide.
Cruis: .... Those spikes aren't real.... are they?
Lull: ...No, I'd say...
Cruis: Yeah, there's no way I'm getting into a ring type thing with those hoodlums. Zed, can't you get us out of it somehow?
Zed: Of course I can! I'm great at getting things done, though these two seem the type to not take financial compensation... or the breed that could be taken out easily...
Lull: But you said they were in that movie, right Zit? Well it bombed so bad nobody ever heard of it! We should win by default! Our work has made more money than theirs, no doubt!
Zed: Of course! Right you are Lully... Alright then. We'll just do as the wrestlin folks term it, no sell these folks, and just issue an open challenge. I'l get the ball rolling on that for you guys. We might as well include Melly while we're at it to... have one of those six person deals
Lull: What a challenge that would be... My darling Mella fighting beside me? Why I could show her how great I am. How I love that beautiful jar of sweet, sexy peach jam.
Cruis: Yeah, plus two other guys gives me less work to d... I mean, gives us all more opportunity to rest!
Lull: Sounds sound all around!
Zed: Perfect. Well kids, I'll go set everything up. You guys just get all prepared for our encounter.
Lull: I'm in milk aren't I?
Cruis: Uh.... yeah. Yeah, you are.
Lull: Then I am getting ready!
Cruis gives a bit of an odd, look as he nods at Lull, then turning around, looking back at Zed, who nods back.
Zed: Well, most artistes are quite eccentric aren't they?
Lull: Yes, I'd say they are, the weirdos. But how does that relate to us and my doe?
Zed: Oh. Not at all Lull! I would never compare you to likes of those deranged donkeys!
Lull: Compare me? What are you talking about?
Zed: Nothing Lully. Enjoy your cow juice soak!
He waves, then quickly makes his exit, shaking his head slightly, as Cruis looks back over at Lull.
Cruis: What kind of milk is that anyway?
Lull: Whole. Want some?
Cruis: ...Nah.
Lull: Suit yourself.
Lull grabs a nearby pitcher and pours himself a glass of the very stuff he's soaking in
Cruis: What, no cookies?
Lull: Cookies? With milk? Oh my, my dear friend, you are an odd one.
Cruis sighs and walks over to his massage chair again and leaning back, looking up at the lights
Cruis: *saying to himself* Well, I'm never drinking milk again...
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Post by dorf on Sept 5, 2007 20:38:20 GMT -5
*The camera shows the backstage of the nice side of the office, where the dorfman industries, while a cobweb grows on the Toom E. Dangerously's side, while dorf is sitting at his desk.* Dorf: JOHNSON! How is that Lisa Loeb picture doing to stimulate our EWT workers? Johnson: 400% morale increase over the past week, sir. I think somebody has either a serious liking to her....or its the cake. Dorf: Hmm....since I am part-owner of EWT and this has increased morale, I am ordering MAXIM Magazine to all EWT superstars. The subscription rate is only $17.94 a year plus taxes, which will be taken out of your paychecks, but who doesn't like: ....Asian twins? ;D Speaking of women.... *Toom E. Dangerously interrupts by coming in and sits on his side of the office as the camera caught him. As he is sitting in the dingy corner of his shared office with Dorf. Dorf strolls in with a huge grin on his face. Upon seeing that Dorf is smiling, Toomi instantly feels a bit uneasy. Dorf approaches Toomi's desk.[/i]* Dorf: You know something Toomi, ol' pal, it seems that this organisation is lacking some serious sex appeal, don't you think? Toomi: If this involves any more of your ridiculous Lingerie match stipulations... Dorf: No, no, no. You're misunderstanding me. But look at the women we have in the roster. Sure they can wrestle with the best of them, but in terms of looks? Well... That's where they lack any talent! * Dorf walks back towards the door.* Dorf: And, to that end, I have made a marvelous new acquisition to spice up the EWT roster... * Dorf opens the door, but there is nobody there.* Toomi: You signed the wall opposite this office to a contract? * Dorf takes a look at the open doorway & realizes how foolish he seems.* Dorf: Oh, damn! Give me a second here... * Dorf runs out the door & up the hall.* Dorf: [ from the hallway] What the hell are you doing? I told you to stay in place 'til I opened the door! * Dorf drags an attractive young blonde woman back into the room.* Blonde Woman: I know, but like, sometimes my mind starts to wander & stuff & I, like, just sorta forget things, y'know? Toomi: Just tell me that this ditz isn't my new secretary. Dorf: Even better. Tiffany here is the newest member of the EWT Family! Toomi: You can't be serious! That idiot?! Dorf: Don't you think you're being a little mean? And, c'mon, she's standing right there!Toomi: [ Mocking Tiffany's style of talking] Yeah, but her, like, mind is totally, like, wandering again & stuff... * We see that Tiffany is, indeed, staring blankly off into space. Toomi clicks his fingers around Tiffany's head a few times to prove his point. He then whistles sharply at her before she snaps back to reality.* Tiffany: [ To Toomi] Hi, Mr. Dangerously. I'm Tiffany. It's totally cool to, like, finally meet you, y'know? I really love the TEW... Dorf: [ Aside to Tiffany] Erm, that's EWT, sweetie...Toomi: Forget it! This bimbo doesn't even know the name of the company! And we've got enough backstage interviewers already! Dorf: That's the thing, partner, she's not going to be a backstage interviewer. She's going to actually compete in the ring! Toomi: [ Rolls his eyes] Really? What experience does she have? Has she competed in any of our feeder leagues? Dorf: No. She's a totally fresh face! Isn't that even better? Dorfman industries is pushing down the boundaries for new talent to break into wrestling! Tiffany: Yeah, I think it'll be totally awesome to be in the ring. I've totally been a huge wrestling fan since I was young & it'll just be so totally cool to have my first match ever! Dorf: At least she's enthusiastic, right? Toomi: * Grumbles & storms out of the office.* Dorf: [ To Tiffany] Welcome to EWT! * Both hold hands & jump up & down as Tiffany screams & laughs excitedly.* Oh, Mr. Dangerously....all EWT wrestlers get a subscription to Maxim. I, sir; hope you have a nice day. *camera fades to commercial as Toom E. Dangerously's face is furious.*
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Ass Dan
King Koopa
Curious about extra lines
Have you seen me?
Posts: 12,259
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Post by Ass Dan on Sept 5, 2007 20:45:03 GMT -5
*Fade in to One's lockerroom*
Joe One opens his locker. He pulls out Maxim Magazine. He squints.
One: $17.94 a year for this?
He drops the magazine.
One: You will regret this, Mr. Womelsdorf.
*Fade Out*
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Sigma: Current SRW Champ!
Dennis Stamp
Writes about wrestling, does videos about game shows, helps transpeople, loves baseball etc.
Posts: 4,525
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Post by Sigma: Current SRW Champ! on Sept 5, 2007 23:27:12 GMT -5
*Sigma sees the Maxim magazine slip through the door of his house*
Sigma Williams: So, our intrepid co-owner decided that a magazine of scantily clad females would help boost morale. Has he not yet learned. *sips some wine* These women aren't even real. I won't have $18 of my hard earned money be put to this putrid idea of a magazine. You know what, I just may have an idea on how to get my money back and more.
*Sigma then steps outside to see some 12 year old boys playing on the sidewalk*
Sigma Williams: Hey kids. What are you doing?
Boy #1: We playing Yu-Gi-Oh!
Boy #2: All the cool kids are doing it.
Sigma Williams: Not really. From what my spies tell me is that they are attracted to this Maxim Magazine. I have one copy and will have more coming in weeks. Do you guys want a peek?
Boy #1 and #2: YES!
Sigma Williams: OK, then here you kids go. *shows kids the magazine*
Boy #1 and #2: ME WANTEE!!!!!
Sigma Williams: OK, then both of you must pay me $50 each to have the one magazine.
Boy #1 and #2: OTAY!!! Here's the $100 sir.
Sigma Williams: There ya go. And remember, $100 each month for each magazine.
Boy #1 and #2: YES SIR!!!
Sigma Williams: Have fun kids. *walks back inside to his house* What a bunch of morons. *sips wine* HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!
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Post by Oceanic on Sept 6, 2007 14:36:59 GMT -5
Oceanic walks down the hallway with the Tri State title over her shoulder and looks like she means business. She's about to enter the Gorilla Position when your friend and mine Sum Guy cuts her off and shoves the microphone in her face.
Sum Guy: "Hi! I'm Sum Guy and I was in the main event at Wimpamania 5 vs my English teacher! This is Oceanic and boy oh boy did she ever get the ever lovin' poo beat out of her by Ratings and Chance Confidence!"
Oceanic: (glaring) "Care to rephrase that, Wimpamania 5?"
Sum Guy: "Uhhhhhh...............hmmm.........you were sneak attacked?"
Oceanic: "I don't think that's proper grammar but I'll let that slide. So I guess the first question you're going to ask is how I feel about Mr. Confidence and Ratings, right?"
Sum Guy: "Actually I was going to ask about....."
Oceanic: (interrupting) "I don't care! I want those two pointy nosed Nancy boys to pay real close attention! Tonight, I'm going to take out some frustration on Eddie Colon! And not only that, I'm going to show Chance and Ratings just exactly what they signed up for when Maelstrom and I get their sorry hides in the ring at Skies The Limit! You think blowing up your limo was the best we could do? Hardly! That was just a warm up! And at Skies The Limit, we're going to wreck you morons up so bad that by this time next year you'll be headlining Wimpamania 6 with Sum Guy here!"
Oceanic stomps off leaving Sum Guy behind.
Sum Guy: "Great. I'm Sum Guy and once again I've lost my spot."
Cut to a commercial..........
Voice over: "New! From Carl's Jr! Table manners!"
A man eats a burger without smacking, grunting, or getting food all over the place.
Voice over. "Carl's Jr! Our commercials aren't nauseating anymore!"
Back to the ring and Eddie Colon stands waiting for his opponent, but he doesn't have to wait long because Oceanic doesn't wait for her music to cue up. She runs right down the ramp and into the ring, tossing the Tri State belt to the ref, and right off the bat she unleashes a flurry of elbows and knees to the upper body and head of Colon. The bell rings to officially start the match as Oceanic doesn't let up on Colon at all. She sends Colon into the ropes and blasts him with a Super Kick right on the button. Eddie hits the mat hard and grabs his mouth to see if he still has all of his teef as Oceanic pounces on top of him, ramming his head over and over into the mat. She picks him up by the hair and throws Colon through the ropes and to the concrete floor. Wasting no time she climbs up to the top turnbuckles and waits for Colon to stand up, and when he does she leaps off and nails him with a cross body block. She rolls off of him and gets right back up to her feet as Colon lays on the floor, already paying big time even though we're about 45 seconds into the match.
Oceanic grabs another fistfull of hair and pulls Colon up to his knees. She places his head between her legs (Hey now, you perverts!) and piledrives Colon right on the outside floor. The crowd lets out a shocked cry as Colon lays on the floor and Oceanic grabs a camera man, telling him to get a good shot of Colon on ground. She picks up Colon's seemingly lifeless body and the throws him back into the ring before rolling back in herself. She places her shin across Colon's chest and the ref is there to make the count.
1................ 2................ 3!
The Fink: "Here is your winner, and still EWT Tri State Champion...........OCEANIC!"
EMT's flock the ring to make sure Colon's neck isn't broken (it's not, in case you were concerned) as Oceanic takes her title belt from the referee and hops up on the second buckles, holding the belt over her head. Seemingly venting her frustrations she appears to quite calm and relaxed as she leaves the ring walks up the ramp. Meanwhile, Colon is being taken away on a stretcher.
Who said squashes can't be fun?
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Limey
Unicron
It's been awhile.
Posts: 3,062
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Post by Limey on Sept 6, 2007 14:59:04 GMT -5
*We are backstage, looking at a closeup of the Maxim magazine. As we zoom out, we see Carla O Woe reading it, amused.*
Carla: Psssch. Amateurs. So, Dorf thinks we lack great lookers here in EWT...hmm...perhaps.
*Carla screws up the magazine and chucks it in the trash.*
Carla: Well then, all he had to do was ask...
*Carla gets out a cellphone and starts dialling.*
Carla: ....yeah, it's me...no, after Skies The Limit, it's happening for real...no, its going to be a LOT better this time...I guess so, I'm not really...oh? And they're all...well, that's good to hear. Yes, I'll make preparations right away...alright. Ciao!!!
*Carla hangs up and walks off as we see the crumpled remains of the Maxim...*
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Smarky
Mike the Goon
Posts: 14
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Post by Smarky on Sept 6, 2007 15:42:57 GMT -5
[Camera cuts backstage to find Tard Grisham and Jonnie Sparks sitting in matching recliners scanning their copy of Maxim]
Sparks: So...this is what our deducted paycheck is going towards?
Tard: Yep.
Sparks: Couldn't he have at least gotten us Cinemax instead?
Tard: Agreed.
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Rated X
Tommy Wiseau
The following post has been RATED X
Posts: 60
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Post by Rated X on Sept 6, 2007 19:40:26 GMT -5
We fade in to see Chad Michaels, Mike Corral, and Jesse "Genocide" Nunez all readung their copy of Maxim. And they are not amused. All: We are not amused. See? Chad: Argh, I can't read this crap. I gotta go train my body for the 120 Minute-Ironman Match at TSTL2. Mike: What about your match against Roughouse? Chad: F*** Roughouse. Let Jesse take on him. Jesse: Mike: So.... when are we gonna see you. Chad: At the PPV. Peace. Mike & Jesse: Later. Chad exits the locker room as Jesse turns to Mike. Jesse: Didja hear? Didja hear? I get to have a match!! YIPPEE!!! Mike: ........ I need something. Right now. Mike looks at the Maxim's as they lie on the floor. Mike: .... Not worth it. FADE OUT
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Post by The Bad Man on Sept 6, 2007 19:44:50 GMT -5
Back at ringside and Eric Perez has arrived, to some colorful fun music from the Caribbean. The crowd gives him a bit of a cheer as his music is slowly drowned out by the impending doom that this music conjures up. the arena lights dim down to a bleak orange and red. The crowd begin to boo and out walks the man that has brutalized so many in the EWTANNOUNCER: His opponent from a dark alleyway, he weighs 510lbs ... he is The Bad Man!! The crowd boos more as The Bad Man waddles past the fans behind the railings, his bulbous scarred frame horrifying onlookers. The Bad man climbs the steps into the ring, Eric Perez is naturally wary of his opponent as he stays in his own corner.JOSH MATTHEWS: Hello everyone I'm Josh Matthews and I'll be out here calling this match. The bell ringsEric Perez walks up to The Bad Man he clearly isn't intimidated by him, The Bad Man just stands there listening like a stone gargoyle staring with those sunken eyes. Eric Perez starts saying to bring it on, but before he can finish The Bad Man strikes out with a vicious thrust to the throat. Eric Perez caught out by the move and speed clutches his windpipe in pain as The Bad Man knocks him down with a shoulder barge. Eric Perez hits the mat with a thud but before he can recover discovers 500 pounds of bad man flesh falling on top of him. 1,2 ... Eric Perez narrowly kicks out, but this merely makes the Bad Man angry who lifts him up to his feet and prepares to body slam him. Eric Perez slides out of the slam and lands on his feet. The Bad Man turns around to receive a punch to the face and a kick in the gut. JOSH: This is Perez's chance, go on take it to him! Eric Perez confident applies a headlock and goes for his Lifting DDT finish. The Bad Man refuses to go down and instead heads toward the ring corner slamming his opponent back first into the turnbuckle. Eric Perez is crushed and can barely cover himself as The Bad man lays into him with chops, punches, elbows and a head-butt. As the referee tries to admonish the Bad man Perez stumbles out of the corner but only ends up caught in the Bayanhongor Fracture Clasp! The crowd boos loudlyThe Bad Man clamps down on the hold crushing lungs and taking shoulders to near breaking point. The Bad Man's gnarled face grins as the horrific bear hug does it's damage, Eric Perez submits! The Bell ringsANNOUNCER: Your winner ... The Bad Man! As Ave Satani plays The Bad Man stands over the beaten Eric Perez, he fumbles under one of his rolls of fat and pulls out ... The Maxim Magazine that Dorf gave every EWT superstar, The Bad Man roll sit up in his hand into a club like shape you would make for swatting wasps. He bends down and grabs Eric Perez by the hair and lifts him to his feet before head-butting him right in the face!
the crowd jeers even more as officials head to the ring
JOSH: This man is a monster, that head-butt could have stunned an elephant! Look at that Perez is busted wide open!
The Bad Man isn't finished, the head-butt has done the damage and blood is now dripping off Eric Perez's head. The Bad Man kneels down over Eric Perez pinning him to the ground. Then using the magazine The Bad Man starts swatting and beating Perez across the face with it, blow after blow. The referees want him to stop but dar not get close to this bowling ball shaped maniac!
Eventually The Bad Man stops his assault but the copy of Maxim tells the story here, it is dripping with gore. The Bad man's music begins to play once again as he leaves the damage done! He heads up the ailse his copy of Maxim oozing with blood, his face telling a story that is unsuitable for anyone to read.
JOSH: If this is what The Bad Man can do with a magazine, I dread to think what he could do to Ronnie Cordova at skies the Limit II! I'm Josh Matthews and that was another showing of the most dangerous and unpleasant men in the EWT!
(cut to commercial)
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Curly Long
AC Slater
Midget Wrestling Master
Posts: 234
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Post by Curly Long on Sept 6, 2007 20:01:06 GMT -5
Backstage and we find ourselves looking at a small rubbish bin, inside is a copy of Maxim Magazine. As we gain a better view we find Curly Long sitting in what appears to be a bit of a bar that has been set up. Curly Long is reading a magazine of his own, a copy of Playboy.
The crowd can be heard cheering as his phone goes off
CURLY LONG: Hello, hey! .... Yeah I'm good, just checking out the latest issue .... u-huh ... you got one too, I know what are they thinking? ... you did? ... well that wobbly table was always bugging you! ... so when you back ... in a week or so alright!! ... Yeah, your damn right we'll be winning the gauntlet! .. later Big
We can hear the crowd cheer some more, clearly excited to hear Mr. Big will be returning soon.
Curly clicks the phone shut and turns the magazine around to get a full look at something, a shadow falls across Curly Long. He looks up to see Mikey Mondo & Nicky Nemeth standing over him.
CURLY: You two guys want something?
NICKY: Yeah we do ...
MIKEY: We want you in that ring!
NICKY: then when we beat you, we'll be entering that gauntlet!
Curly Long puts down his copy of playboy, and stands up on his chair.
CURLY: You two morons are going to beat me?
Mikey gets up close in Curly Long's face
MIKEY: Yeah that we are, when we're finished you'll be sucking the gravel from under my boots!
Curly looks down at Mikey's boots and then looks back at him and Nicky
CURLY: Yeah?
The pair nod and grin, Curly grins back then in one swift move takes Mikey by the head and leaps off his chair backwards! Mikey gets facebustered right into the chair! Curly heads off laughing
CURLY: In the ring you say, I'll see you two there then!!
Nicky checks on his partner who is trying to shake the cobwebs from the surprise attack.
(fade out)
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TJT
AC Slater
It's fun to be perfect.
Posts: 109
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Post by TJT on Sept 6, 2007 20:04:23 GMT -5
*TJT are backstage in their locker room, sitting on their leather sofa and watching TV.*
Thunder: *flips through his Maxim magazine, and tosses it with a following thud into a trash can* I drove 2000 miles for this?
Jupiter: You didn't drive 2000 miles, Jim.
Thunder: ...
Jupiter: ...
Thunder: Oh yeah...
Terina: Lack of sex appeal...
Thunder: Eh?
Terina: Lack of sex appeal... *shaking head*
Jupiter: So Dorf does cocaine. When was that news?
Terina: So we've got a guy who likes nothing but bordello workers halfway in charge of things. That's...inexcusable.
Jupiter: We could buy the company, you know.
Thunder: Then we could be like Jeff Jarrett and MAKE us get the titles and the wins.
Jupiter: Why does it bother you so much? So he's got a blind opinion that nobody else shares. Big deal.
Terina: It's not his opinion so much as his will to enforce it. I sense something very bad coming...
Jupiter: A revolt against him? That's what I'm picking up, at the very least.
Terina: Maybe, or maybe something more destructive to everyone.
Jupiter: Destructive?
Thunder: ...she's not saying he's some kind of inhuman monster, like the Wolfman, though he very well could be. HAHA! Anyway, cool it, Teri. You manage the hottest team in EWT. Let me say that again, in case you didn't hear me: You are the leader...of the hottest tag team in EWT. Think about that. "Lacking sex appeal." The crowd certainly doesn't feel that way, if you ask me.
Terina: Good point, I guess. This still may be a bad thing...
Jupiter: You worry too much. Now we've got a match to prepare for; how about you help us for the...ahem...training?
Terina: Giving you a case of booze to drink while you eat ribs all day?
Jupiter: EXACTLY! It builds the muscle...it builds the mind!
Terina: I think I'll call Roger...
Thunder: *begins to doze off, quietly saying a few things* ...gotta....no no...no birds...no...duckies....too....cute... *snoring*
*Terina and Jason look at one another, and back at Jim. Terina starts to giggle under her breath as she walks to the door, out of the room, and out of view. Jason on the other hand...looks back at Jim, and leans over to his ear, whispering into Jimmy's ear as if he were part of a dream.*
Jason: .....quack! QUACK. QUACK.
Thunder: ....aaaah, no, no... *arms flailing*....get away...I don't want you....'cept to hug you.......squeeze you.....stroke your beaks...tug at your feathers...
Jason: ....quack...
Thunder: ....ooh....
Jason: ...mmmmmmmmmm'kaaaaaaaaaay....
*Jason grimaces, leaning away and grabbing the remote, turning to some channel with a program on, an ad playing over...*
TV: "...and if you've got a hernia, don't worry! We've got just the remedy! 'Bindo--The Keys to Low Success!'"
Jason: This....could be a slow day...
*Jason continues to flip through channels, as Jim mumbles asleep...as the camera fades out.*
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Post by therizz on Sept 7, 2007 2:32:00 GMT -5
“Marvelous Me” blairs over the loud speakers as two men walk through the curtain. One, 6 foot 11 wearing a suit and shades, looking like a professional body guard, while the other, 6 foot 1, wears khaki pants and oversized pair of shades (very E & C like). The two men make their way to the ring, stopping mid way to argue with a fan. After entering the ring, the tall man stands over the announcer until he gives up his microphone. The crowd boos as he hands the microphone to his partner.
“This is a message to every single wrestler in the back. For too long, The Rizz has been cooped up in the Pacific Northwest with no real competition. After a while, The Rizz got bored of easy wins, night in and night out, so he went searching, searching for some real competition. Along the way, I met the man to my left here, the big man was cooped up in my old hometown of Sacramento. Obviously, the man has the size to dominate any man he comes across, only problem was, he had no direction. You see, Steve Stricklin here was stuck doing carnival shows, destroying any comer for minimum wage.” Through out this, Steve is back standing over the announcer who is now crouching in the corner in fear.
“So it goes like this, every where I go…every place I have been to….I offer one simple request. Give me your best, show me what this organization has got, and lets see if this should be the new home of The Rizz or not.” He turns to the entrance way, “so lets have it, we are not leaving this ring until we get what we are asking for.”
Just then the Hardyz entrance music hits and out runs Matt Hardy.
The Rizz continues, “now hold up there hot shot, I said the best, and if you are the best this little company has…then I won’t waste my time.” The Rizz sets down the microphone and begins to leave.
Matt stops him, “I may not be the best this company has, but from the looks of you, I don’t need to be. Now if you want to go ahead and run on home, that is fine by me…but you asked for a fight, and I am here to give you one.”
The Rizz gets nose to nose with Hardy, giving off a little smirk as they face-off, then out of nowhere The Rizz pushes Hardy back into a big boot from Stricklin. Hardy bounces off the mat as The Rizz breaks out into laughter.
Hardy is slow to his feet, unaware of where he is, but the moment he stands up, The Rizz hits him with the Rizzicution, sending him back down. He jumps back to his feet and jumps up to the turnbuckle, helling at the top of his lungs, “is this all you got?” As Stricklin slowly lifts the lifeless body of Matt Hardy and holds him up, seemingly admiring his work, before hitting the Mayhammer and walking off.
The Rizz grabs the microphone once again, “ok ok ok, I’ve had my fun, but the next time I come out here, I want some real competition. You see, whether you people like it or not, the Rizz and Steve Stricklin are here to stay.”
The Rizz spits at Hardy before exiting the ring, and side by side the newest tag team to hit the EWT exits.
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Post by crauswell on Sept 7, 2007 3:58:13 GMT -5
Some type of music hits as Bradley Jay/Jay Bradley/Bay Jradley starts heading down to the ring, the bell sounding to signal this next contest.
Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Approaching the ring, from Downer's Grove, Illinois, weighing in at 272 pounds, Bradley Jay!
Jay quickly rolls into the ring, playing to the crowd, obviously playing the face in this particular bout. He jumps around the ring a bit, warming himself up, as he turns toward the Toomitron, as HUBOON Stomp quickly starts up, the familiar furry stepping out onto the rampway, clutched in both hands that rather large horse plush thing, as the crowd boos, not seeming to care or notice this. The furry slowly holds it up, then puts it under an arm, giving off a destructive presence as he gazes over at Jay, whose just staring at the sight before his eyes, quite... bewildered at his opponent's appearance.
Announcer: And the opponent, representing the Cidal Squad, from Parts Unknown, weighing in at 272 pounds, "The Cidal Force" Crauswell!
Crauswell walks over past the ring as first, to the commentator's table to be exact, where EWT unfavorites, Tim Moss and Barry "The Bling" Flawler are sitting.
Moss: BAH GAWD! We're being joined on commentary by a government mule?!
Barry: DANG BOOOOOOOOYEE!!!! Dis is crazier then the time I saw puppizles! Geez, dat was tight!
Moss: IT'S STILL A BETTER COMMENTATOR THEN BOTH OF US!
Barry: Word...
They both look sad, as Crauswell reaches and pats the equine's head, turning it toward the ring and nodding, as he quickly slips back into the ring, walking into the center and dropping on both knees in the center of the ring, spreading those wings, then quickly rising back up, giving another look at Bradley in the corner, who gets ready.
Jay steps into the center of the ring, as Crauswell follows, stopping before him, arms folded as he seemingly studies his opponent, Jay cautiously watching, as the furry unleashes a vicious knife edge chop to begin this bout! Jay stumbles slightly, but returns one of his own! Crauswell looks barely affected, unleashing a twice as brutal one in reply, as Jay stands his ground, following with another harder chop. Crauswell does feel this one, but retaliates with one of the STIFFEST chops you've ever felt, Jay stumbling back from the force, clutching his chest. The furry starts unleashing a few more chops, battering Jay further, then charging forward, driving him into the turnbuckle! He starts unleashing a series of body blows to his opponent, before pulling them out and launching them for an overhead belly to belly! Jay crashes into the mat, grasping further, as Craus charges after, Jay pushing off the mat, turning right into a Yakuza kick! He goes back down hard, as Crauswell stomps viciously at his face, before leaping atop, unleashing some brutal fists as well, bruising his opponent further. Jay groans, pushing off the mat and back to his feet, Craus whipping him off the ropes, but Jay reversing it! He charges right at his opponent for a lariat, which Crauswell quickly ducks, Jay stumbling forward in surprise, as he turns around, right into a lariat of Crauswell's own, taking him down! He gasps in pain, slowly rising back up, as Craus unleashes a few more chops to the chest, before grabbing and pulling Jay into a High Angle Spinebuster! He looks to the outside, waving softly to the horse, who continues to be a better commentator then most current EWT ones. The furry pulls Jay quickly back up, pulling him into a gut buster, then back up into a back breaker, lifting him once more and launching him with a Side Suplex, completing the Prey Stalker, as Jay rolls around in pain, the furry dropping down for the cover. 1....2....
Jay gets a shoulder up. Crauswell looks on in seeming fury as he slams the mat with a fist, quickly swinging behind Jay and clinching on a Dragon Sleeper, as his opponent grimaces in pain. The furry holds him up, quickly pulling him into a regular sleeper, as he swings around, snapping off the Sleeper Suplex! Jay bounces hard off the mat, as he groans, struggling back to his feet again, Crauswell charging and grabbing him once again, snapping off a devastating Exploder suplex, driving him back into the mat, as the furry steps over slowly, turning once again and motioning to the motionless stuffed creature, before reaching down and hoisting Jay up in his arms, then onto his shoulders. He starts walking around the ring with him on his back, doing a full lap, before walking to the center and hitting the Steamroller! He then climbs to the top turnbuckle, leaping off and Taking Flight, driving his skull right into Jay's chest, as he yelps in pain! The gryphon suited man quickly covers once again. 1....2.....
But changes his mind at the last second, lunging down and grabbing Jay by the throat, pulling him up for and unleashing a brutal sit out Beak Buster, holding him for the cover. 1....2....
3!
Crauswell decimates Jay
Announcer: Here is your winner... "The Cidal Force" Crauswell!
The furry sits up, shoving the motionless Jay aside, slipping out of the ring, then grabbing that horse again, hugging it close, as the crowd watches this bizarre sight, as the furry strokes it's mane again, before hoisting it atop his shoulder's, piggyback style, and heads to the back, looking up rather happily at it as he does so.
We quickly fade to commercial.
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Post by teamireland on Sept 7, 2007 19:33:59 GMT -5
*Aidan Donnelly & Sean McCann are perusing their copies of Maxim in the Team Ireland locker-room.*
Sean: [while flicking over pages] I'd do her... I'd do her... I'd do her... I'd DEFINITELY do her!
*Aidan looks over Sean's shoulder.*
Aidan: [disgusted] Here, mate, that's Rosie O'Donnell!!!
Sean: Aye!
Aidan: She's a lesbian.
Sean: Aye!
Aidan: Are you even listening to me?
Sean: In doing her I'd be fulfilling every young man's fantasy: to get it on with Betty Rubble! Now, let's continue... I'd do her... I'd do her... I'd do her...
*Fade Out*
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Post by Redface: Dispenser of Justice on Sept 7, 2007 20:08:45 GMT -5
*Noah Rodgers is fingering through his issue of Maxim*
Rodgers: Yes...*flips page*...Yes...*flip*....Yes....*flip*...No...*Flip*...No...*Flip*...Oh God, Who hasn't...?
Voice: Mr. Rodgers!
*Joe One Enters*
Rodgers: What?
*One snatches the magazine from Rodgers' hands and tosses it away*.
One: That prolefeed will do you no good, Mr. Rodgers. Come, we have business to attend to.
*Rodgers lazily follows One out of the room.*
*Fade, b****es*
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Post by Hulkshi Tanahashi on Sept 7, 2007 20:47:10 GMT -5
Howard Finkel: Our next match is scheduled for one fall. *Bell rings. Mr. Strongko’s music plays.* Finkel: Coming down to the ring, at 6 foot 2 inch, and weighting 262 lbs, from Russia: MR. STRONGKO. *Strongko comes out to some boos, walks down to the ring, and enters it.* Gorilla Monsoon: Okay, we are set for action between Mr. Strongko and “The Comedian” Bobby Riggs. Bobby Heenan: This should be hilarious. Monsoon: Why must you encourage such odd behavior? Heenan: Because you won’t. *The Comedian's music plays.* www.youtube.com/watch?v=2a423fqOrpA Finkel: And, his opponent, coming down to the ring, at 6 foot 6 inches, and weighing 290 lbs, from Los Angeles, CA: “THE COMEDIAN” BOBBY RIGGS. *The Comedian walks out slowly and looks around the arena as the crowd boos. He slowly climbs into the ring and looks around with a paranoid look on his face.* Monsoon: He looks a little preoccupied. Heenan: He’s probably just trying to remember who the hell Mr. Strongko is! Monsoon: WILL YOU STOP!!!!? Heenan: Why!? I’m not the one wrestling some guy with the same name as a crappy toy company in New Jersey! *The bell rings, and both men tie up. The Comedian soon pushes Strongko to the mat. Strongko quickly gets up and charges at Riggs with a spear, but the Comedian moves out of the way; and Strongko runs shoulder first into the steel post.* Monsoon: Strongko got none of Riggs but all of the steel post. Heenan: Hey, he’s as dumb as a toy from a crappy toy company in New Jersey! Monsoon: I would ask you to stop, but that would be futile; wouldn’t it? Heenan: Yep. *As Strongko moves back from the post, the Comedian grabs him. He puts Strongko into a hammerlock, picks him up, and drops him arm first to the mat with a back suplex.* Monsoon: Back suplex onto that arm by Riggs. Heenan: That’s smart, Gorilla. Strongko hurt his arm, and now the Comedian is taking advantage of it. *Riggs grabs Strongko’s injured arm and sits him up on the mat. Then, he takes his free arm and drops it down onto Strongko’s shoulder lightning-quick speed. After about 20 of these strikes, Riggs lets up. He puts Strongko into another hammerlock with his left arm but this time standing in front of Strongko. And, the Comedian applies the Iron Claw with his right hand to his opponent at the same time.* Monsoon: And, the Comedian has a weird hammerlock/Iron Claw combo on Strongko. Heenan: That’s another smart move, Monsoon. He has two submission moves on Strongko, so he has twice a good chance to get Strongko to tap out. *He has both moves on Strongko for a while. Then, suddenly, the Comedian screams out in pain. He tries to pull his right hand away Strongko’s head, but it won’t budge. He lets go of the hammerlock and tries to pull his hand off of Strongko’s head, but it still won’t budge.* Heenan: What’s going on? Monsoon: It looks like the Comedian is trying pull his hand away from Strongko, but it won’t let go away. Heenan: Why!? Monsoon: I DON’T KNOW! Heenan: You’re suppose to know these things, Monsoon! Monsoon: Aren’t you “The Brain”? *After a few more seconds, Riggs is finally able to pull his hand away from Strongko’s head. Then, he looks down at his hand and is startled: there is a black spot on his hand.* Heenan: What is that!? Monsoon: It looks like a black spot. Heenan: How’d it get there!? Monsoon: I don’t know! Heenan: Something weird is going on Monsoon. I don’t like it! *As the Comedian looks at his hand, Mr. Strongko starts to get up. He charges at Riggs, but Riggs sees him and punches Strongko in the throat with his other hand. Suddenly, Strongko spits up water into the Comedian’s face. Riggs is taken aback by this and yells out “Oh GOD! It’s SALT WATER!”* Heenan: Did he just say that Strongko spit salt water at him!? Monsoon: I believe so. Heenan: Man, this is getting nuts! *Suddenly, Strongko gets back up and charges at the Comedian again. However, Riggs sees this and kicks Strongko in the stomach. Then, Strongko doubles over and starts to gag. He suddenly vomits, spewing out seaweed, gold coins, and a folded piece of paper with the Comedian’s name on it. Then, Strongko faints.* Monsoon: WHOA! The Comedian kicked Strongko, and then Strongko regurgitated some seaweed and gold coins. Heenan: Did he get drunk and take a drink from the ocean!? Monsoon: WILL YOU STOP!? *The Comedian sees the folded paper with his name on it. He walks over to it and picks it up. Then, he unfolds it. The note says, “You’re next.” Riggs drops the paper; he has a terrified look on his face. He quickly exits the ring and runs up the ramp, all the while yelling, “No! NOT ME!!!! WHY ME!!!!?”* Heenan: Wait, is it over!? Who won!? Monsoon: Well, with Strongko down on the mat and the Comedian leaving the ringside area, it looks like this one is a draw. *Cut to commercial.*
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Post by Tha Kid Joker on Sept 8, 2007 2:47:37 GMT -5
Fade into the Irish National Botanical Gardens in Dublin, Ireland. The scenery is beautiful, and the camera scans the horizon, where the sky meets the River Tolka. A few birds fly by as the camera swirls about the area to show the amazing trees and heart-warming flowers, before lowering and settling upon the two figures of Juri Sadamoto, and Cassidy Clearwater. They walk through the grass, not bothering to look at their incredible surroundings, and seem to just be trying to get out of there and get to something more interesting. Juri has her arms crossed and scowls, as Cassinova hops forward on his crutches, smirking slightly.
Cassinova: Chad Michaels is an overrated emo kid incapable of attracting anyone other than trannies and his second cousins... but I'M the one on crutches, taking the three-day vacation with the girl of my dreams...
...I'm even better at being Jimmy Jacobs than he is!
"So Here We Are" by Bloc Party plays as the screen cuts to black, before white letters fade in:
Cassinova and Juri - Day Two: Ireland
The song and screen cut off abruptly, as we come back to see Cassinova and Juri standing on a cobblestone road. Juri still has her arms crossed, looking away, as Cassinova looks over at her with intrigue.
Cassinova: So... where do you want to go first?
Immediately after the question, the screen cuts to footage of Cassinova sitting on a green bench, surrounded by a park. It's night time, so that tips off that this is the post-date interview.
Cassinova: Well, after the first night didn't go... so well, I figured that I'd try a far less aggressive approach. You know, give her some room. Try not to force my awesome onto her. That sort of thing.
The camera cuts back to Cassinova and Juri standing there, with Cass awaiting her answer. Juri glances towards him slightly, and blows some hair out of her face before scowling.
Juri: I want to go home.
Cassinova: Well, unless you live in Ireland, I sincerely doubt that's an option. I hear they have excellent strip clubs, though.
We go back to the post-date interview.
Cassinova: Yeah... that "less aggressive" thing didn't work so well at first...
Without even a word, she kicks his crutch and power walks in front of him. Cassinova stumbles and falls as we cut away to a later scene. The two walk down a sidewalk, with the camera leading them from the front. Cass looks at Juri occasionally and smiles, as she stares towards the ground. Cassinova eventually steps out in front of Juri and stops, wanting to talk.
Cassinova: I really want you to cheer up, Jewels. This is supposed to be fun for the bo--...
He is cut off by the realization that Juri has walked around him without a word. Turning around, he hops forward quickly in an attempt to catch up.
Cassinova: I'm serious! If there's anywhere... anywhere that you want to go. Tell me, and I'll make it happen.
Juri: Since I'm feeling especially close to my kin.... SOD OFF!
Cassinova looks confused for a second.
Cassinova: Sod off.. sod off...
He strokes his chin.
Cassinova: Is that the home ec. hobby store?
Juri: (Throwing up her arms.) You're a hopeless idiot.
Cass grins and stands beside her, throwing his arm over her shoulder as they walk.
Cassinova: Ah, but I'm your hopeless idiot.
She doesn't even send daggers at him... She sends nukes.
Juri: You're not my ANYTHING!
Cassinova frowns and removes his arm from her shoulder, just as they stop outside of an ice cream shop. Cass looks over at the establishment and looks at Juri, before the little wheel in his head begins to turn.
Cassinova: Hm...
A lightbulb practically forms above his head.
Cassinova: Hey! Wait, no, I lost it. Wanna' just get some ice cream?
Juri: ...Fine.
The camera cuts back to Cassinova's post-date interview, where he grins and pumps his fist in the air.
Cassinova: Ice cream! Chicks dig it, and they dig the guys who buy it for them.
The camera cuts back to the inside of the ice cream parlor.
Juri: I'll take a scoop Mint Chocolate.
Quickly, before Cass can realize it, Juri's aready at the counter and has already paid for her Ice Cream. Now she just waits for it. Cassinova walks up to the counter, his crutches significantly slowly him down. Finally arriving, he smiles at the cashier and winks.
Cassinova: The lady'll take a...
Cashier: She already ordered. What will you have?
Cassinova: She... already... ordered?
Cashier: Still waiting, sir.
Cassinova: I'm... not very hungry.
Cassinova sighs and looks at Juri, before starting to make his way over to a table and taking his seat.
Switch to the interview bench.
Cassinova: I was bummed out yes, but that doesn't change the fact I'll get to see her licking the ice cream. That's a positive, right?
As she walks back from the counter, he sees he's wrong again--she holds a cup and with it a small spoon. Juri looks over at Cass and notices a sinking look within him, and surprisingly she sighs and indicates another spoon.
Cassinova blinks, staring at the spoon almost as if he can't believe it. After a while, he finally just smiles and walks over to her, taking a seat and picking up the spoon. After he does, we once again go to the footage of the post-date interview.
Cassinova: Ice cream...
He looks down and lets hair fall about his face, while smiling.
Cassinova: ...Ice cream.
At the same interview placement, we see Juri looking off to the side.
Juri: I....I'm naturally a nice person... It's a curse.
Back in the parlor, the two sit at the table--Juri eating her ice cream slowly. Cassinova has the spoon raised a few inches above the bowl, and his half has no scoops taken out of it. Smiling, he doesn't take his eyes off of Juri, and just seems to be appreciating the sentiment. Juri looks up, a bit surprised to see him smiling. Instinctively, she glances off to the side.
Juri: ...I didn't feel like a full scoop. That's all.
Cassinova continues to smile, not being able to help it.
Cassinova: You don't... completely hate me..
She says nothing as she gets another spoonful and shoves her spoon into her mouth. Almost as if to keep it shut. Back on the post-date interview bench, the footage continues from last time. Cassinova's head is still tilted down, and he now begins to laugh slightly.
In the parlor, he finally manages to take a small spoonful out of the ice cream and take a bite, still gazing at Juri.
He immediately jumps up and spits it out afterwards.
Cassinova: Ugh! What the hell is this?! Mint?!
She stares up at him, indignant.
Juri: I happen to like mint! If you don't want it, I'll finish it all myself!
Cassinova: Are you kidding me? That's disgusting! Only way I'm eating that if it's out of your mouth!
Realizing his mistake, Cassinova immediately facepalms, closing his eyes and shaking his head.
Juri: ...I'm eating outside. Follow me and I'll make that crutch disappear... If you get me.
Matter of factly, she stands up and takes her ice cream with her. She flashes a smile at a young Irish bloke that holds the door open for her as she walks out. Meanwhile, Cassinova sighs and blows some hair out of his face, before retaking his seat and resting his head in his hands. He sits there for a while in thought, deciding how he's going to try to rectify that last mistake. As he does this, Shelley walks out of the door with the camera and focuses on Juri, eating her ice cream elsewhere. She sits outside on the sidewalk, finishing the rest of the scoop rather quickly. Immediately afterwards, she throws it away in the trash and slowly begins to walk away. As she does, Cass barges back out of the door, carrying his crutches in his hand and limping over to her as fast as he possibly can.
Cassinova: Hey, Jewels.. I... I'm sorry. Really. I appreciate your generosity back there... I'm just an idiot. I don't want you to be mad at me. We still have the rest of today and tomorrow to be together. At least you could put up with me for these last few days.
Juri: Who are you to tell me what I could do? YOU MADE SURE THIS WOULD HAPPEN IN THE FIRST PLACE!
Cassinova: I'm sorry! I just thought you'd have fun! Plus, stipulations are like, my thing! I use them to my advantage as often as possible, but I thought you'd at least enjoy this one! Are you telling me that you've never wanted to go to Europe?
Juri: Not like this! (Not even dignifing him with her face as she stares sideways.) Besides... You ruin everything.
Cassinova looks taken back at hearing this, and his face displays an expression of shock and depression.
Cassinova: Do... do you really mean that?
Juri slowly turns her head back towards him, on her face cold glare mixed with perhaps a tinge of sadness.
Juri: Of...course.
Cassinova blinks a few times, before sighing and turning away.
Cassinova: I... never meant to do that. I always wanted to help you, but I see that I've acted foolishly in my selfishness. It seems at first that the only thing I can do is apologize, but I know you'd much more like me to not say anything else and leave you alone for good. Don't worry about the rest of a trip. Find yourself a nice hotel and rest. I'll be... I don't know... I guess I'll be here.
Cass leans his back against the ice cream parlor wall and tilts his head back on it, sighing once.
Juri: ...Sounds good to me.
Without another word, she turns and walks away. Cassinova opens one eye and looks at her. He raises an eyebrow and sighs again, louder this time.
Cassinova: I guess... I'll just... be here... starving... lonely...
Juri: (Not turning around.) That's the idea of me walking away, isn't it?
She continues to walk.
Cassinova raises the tone of his voice.
Cassinova: I SAID.... I'll just be HERE... STARVING... LONELY... waiting for my sweet Jewels to come BACK TO ME!
Juri: And I SAID I'm LEAVING. Besides, for the last time... MY NAME ISN'T JEWELRY!
Cassinova finally gives up, grabs his crutches, and hops over to Juri as fast as he possibly can.
Cassinova: You're just going to leave me?!
Juri: You deserve less.
Cassinova: Well, that's not a very nice thing to s--...
As he talks, the bottom of his left crutch suddenly hits a pothole in the ground. Sinking in and moving forward, Cassinova loses his balance and falls to the ground.
Juri hears the crash then turns instantly.
Juri: Oh you have got to be kidding me... You really think that's going to convince me?
Cassinova: I... I think I'm bleeding internally.
Back on the interview bench, Cassinova now lays and stares into the night sky.
Cassinova: ...Please don't make me talk about it.
Back outside the parlor, Juri rolls her eyes.
Juri: Get up, you're a terrible actress.
Slowly, shakily, Cassinova manages to make it back to his feet. Now depending heavily on the crutches, he takes in a few gasps of breath and exhales.
Cassinova: Let's... go do something else.
Juri: (Growling.) ...Hang on.....
She slowly approaches him and places his left arm on her shoulder, to help him support his weight.
Juri: ....Don't get any ideas... And watch my knuckle.
Cassinova blinks once more, and keeps it in his head not to screw this moment up. Taking a chance, but trying not to go to far with it, he takes his hand off of one of his crutches to lightly stroke her knuckle, before looking forward.
Cassinova: Sure thing...
Juri: (She flinches in pain.) I said watch the knuckle!
Cassinova tries not to laugh as he walks forward.
Cassinova: Okay, okay. I'm sorry...
He slowly turns his head to look at her.
Cassinova: So... where do you want to go, seriously?
Juri: ...
She turns to face him with a wicked grin.
Juri: A pub.
Cassinova's face drops and he shakes his head wildly.
Cassinova: Nuh-uh. No, no, no, no, no. No pubs.
Juri: We're going to a pub... Or I'm kicking your knee.
Cassinova: Please, no pubs. I don't want to see you in that light. Alcohol is just the worst...
Juri: I'm kicking it.
Cassinova: Don't kick it!
...Well, unless you mean the hip-hop, slang "Kickin' it." Like, you're going to hang out. But I suppose that doesn't really fit in this context...
He strokes his chin in thought...
Juri: That's it, I'm kicking your knee.
Cassinova: Okay, okay, okay! We're going to a pub!
Juri: Alright then.
Interview area.
Juri: Secretly, I wanted him to continue saying no. (Devilish grin.)
[To Be Continued]
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