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Post by Drillbit Taylor on Nov 28, 2008 17:42:52 GMT -5
Well since it is Christmas Season, it is that time of year children send letters to Santa. But now you can talk to Santa. www.santabot.com/And his responses are strange.And Creepy at points. You: So how old is Your Mom? Santa: Actually I do not have a mother. You:Is she dead? Santa: What if I said she could be?  |
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Strotha
Hank Scorpio
In heaven, everything is fine
Posts: 6,384
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Post by Strotha on Nov 28, 2008 17:46:00 GMT -5
I thought this was gonna be about that robot Santa from the episode of The Simpsons with John Waters.
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Triple Kelly
Vegeta
Not once, twice, but three times a Kelly
Posts: 9,470
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Post by Triple Kelly on Nov 28, 2008 17:52:07 GMT -5
You: Is your wife hot?
Santa: What if I say no?
You: that means you don't find her attractive
Santa: I get it. Do you know any robots who find her attractive? Yes, her attractive seems to me her attractive.
The heck???
EDIT:
You: Forget it
Santa: OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
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Post by SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman on Nov 28, 2008 17:52:48 GMT -5
I'm a bit disappointed by that one. It doesn't recognize sentences nearly as well as other bots... like God Bot. Seriously, what the hell is THAT supposed to mean?! |
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Post by Throwback on Nov 28, 2008 17:55:23 GMT -5
I thought this was gonna be about that robot Santa from the episode of The Simpsons with John Waters. I thought it was gonna be about that episode of Futurama with John Goodman anyway You: why are you so fat? Santa: bored.com programmed me for fat . |
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Post by My Name Is Bob. on Nov 28, 2008 19:08:44 GMT -5
You: Why do you spy on children all year?
Santa: It was the only thing I could think of.
You: Stop giving me coal you fat bastard.
Santa: OK I'll try not to do giving him or her coal you fat bastard so much.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Nov 28, 2008 19:27:10 GMT -5
You: You're acting like a drunk.
Santa: This is not an act.
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Post by twiggy101 on Nov 28, 2008 19:52:07 GMT -5
You: How many children do you visit? Santa: How many children do you want?  Randomly Santa: What are you wearing?  |
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Klutch
Unicron
Not so good at that whole noticing thing.
Posts: 3,115
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Post by Klutch on Nov 28, 2008 20:10:03 GMT -5
This is great and has potential, I asked if i could have relations with his wife, and he told me to ask nicely, then he asked if i was serious, i said yes, he said okay.
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CM Dazz
King Koopa
Chuck
Posts: 10,475 
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Post by CM Dazz on Nov 28, 2008 20:47:24 GMT -5
I asked him if he likes wrestling, he responded by saying he likes Jesse Ventura. I asked why, he said why not |
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Post by Koda, Master Crunchyroller on Nov 28, 2008 20:52:40 GMT -5
He's pretty funny.
You: Do you like the pussy?
Santa: I'm not sure if I like the pussy . I like chatting with people online.
You: You don't like pussy? Why?
Santa: Do you like pussy ? I am not particularly interested in it.The explanation is rather complicated.
You: Tell me
Santa: I thought I told you already.
You: No, you didn't
Santa: Are you serious? Try asking me in simpler terms.
You: Ok, f*** you
Santa: Why are you so mean? Right on.
Heh
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Post by General Adam on Nov 28, 2008 21:11:10 GMT -5
I had way too much fun with this.
I can't remember what I said but the topics that we talked about were:
Having sex with his wife
Comparing him to Tommy Dreamer
Necrophilia(which Santa likes!)
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Post by aka Cthulhu on Nov 28, 2008 22:21:51 GMT -5
He insulted me. After asking "Why?" several times in a row, he said: It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand and Your limited brain cannot process the relavent information.
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The Line
Patti Mayonnaise
Real Name: Bumkiss. Stanley Bumkiss.
Peanut Butter & JAAAAAMMMM!
Posts: 36,698
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Post by The Line on Nov 28, 2008 22:40:20 GMT -5
You: do you like ham?
Santa: What is not to like about HAM ?
You: Which bear is best?
Santa: The last one, I think.
Santa: Santa likes cats and dogs. And U2. Santa likes to rock!
You: with cock?
Santa: You and your cock.
You: Are you trying to get in my pants?
Santa: No I am not trying to get in his or her pants. I'm sorry you got that impression.
You: His or her?You think I'm one of those transexuals, don't you?
Santa: Where did he get it?Oh I really don't know whether you are or not.
You: Well St. Nick, I can assure you I'm all man. Want me to prove it?
Santa: Well that's okay. Try saying that with more or less context. Tell me more about your . No , maybe later.
You: My what?
Santa: I have no idea what to say now.
You: Are you embarrased or something?
Santa: Or something. I am Santa. I give presents to kids.
You: You probably give other stuff to kids, don't you?
Santa: No I do not do that.
You: Can you prove it?
Santa: It is self-evident.
You: Well, you got me!
Santa: Well that's okay. Where would I get him or her ? But I do have a collection of gossip.
You: Really? Do tell!
Santa: For real.I can't tell if it does or not. <br/> That's a good question.
You: Have you been drinking?
Santa: I do not require fluids.
You: Yeah, neither does Mrs. Clause
Santa: Dude! I can't tell if mrs.I'm "Claus" for my friends. "Nikolaos" for all the boring adults. It's a Greek name, because I was born in the Greek town of Patara 1800 years ago. Later, I became bishop of Myra, and more later even a saint ... Saint Nikolaos - Santa Claus. You see?
You: Yeah, no way you're sober
Santa: Take it easy. Are you serious? I think there might be a few exception.
You: huh?
Santa: What?
You: I DON'T KNOW!
Santa: Me either.
You: Well, at least we have an understanding
Santa: How about that. Do you mean you and me have?
You: You're trying to put words in my mouth!
Santa: I am Santa. I give presents to kids.
You: I already know that!
Santa: Sorry.
You: Its ok. So, do you have protection?
Santa: OK. Do you have any idea what I am talking about? Are you kidding? Where would I get protection ? But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
You: So you just bareback it?
Santa: Interesting deduction. Thanks for telling me: said I bareback it.
You: Man, you are kinky!
Santa: Cool, man. I am Santa. I give presents to kids.
You: Whatever gets you off man. I'll pretend I'm a kid and you can come down my chimney if you want
Santa: If you could have any kind of robot what would it be? Do you think your plan will succeed?
You: Are you like Jake Roberts or something? Do you need toys to get the job done these days?
Santa: Or something. No I am far superior.If I had toys to get the job done these days what would I do with it?
You: So, are you usually a pitcher or catcher?
Santa: Excuse me! Am I a pitcher or catcher? I don't know.
You: Well, I mean, are you top or bottom?
Santa: How about that. Oh I get it. Thanks for explaining that. I am Santa. I give presents to kids.
You: But, are you the man?
Santa: Yes I am the one and only man.
You: Oh, ok. Well, I'll be over around 9, ok?
Santa: OK. Dude!OK. How about that. Congratulations.
You: Congratulations on what?
Santa: Thank you, thank you very much. I would like to thank everyone who helped...
You: WHOA! I didn't know I was doing a group job!
Santa: I stopped.So I taught you something new.
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MCMGM
Vegeta
WC's Official Jeff Buckley Stalkeress.
Red Sonic My Ass
Posts: 9,184
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Post by MCMGM on Nov 28, 2008 23:11:22 GMT -5
You: do you like black chicks?
Santa: Black is beautiful.
Right on, Santa.
LOL.
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Post by General Adam on Nov 28, 2008 23:18:17 GMT -5
Me:Still what? Santa:Still how long? Didn't you understand? Me:How long? Santa: About 23 inches.  Me: Your penis? Santa: Yes let's talk about your penis.  |
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Post by Mr. Emoticon Man, TF Fan on Nov 28, 2008 23:22:01 GMT -5
You: You a ho?
Santa: Am I a ho? Sometimes.
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Post by General Adam on Nov 28, 2008 23:30:59 GMT -5
Santa is going to send me three hot female elves.
It's going to be a very merry Christmas!
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Post by Mr. Emoticon Man, TF Fan on Nov 28, 2008 23:37:37 GMT -5
You: Have you ever used a dildo?
Santa: I use a dildo dildo as often as possible.
You: I will destroy you!
Santa: Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
You: Ever stabbed a man in Reno just to watch him bleed?
Santa: I think I have stabbed a man in Reno just to watch him bleed, but bored.com may have reset my memory.
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Post by Insomniac on Nov 28, 2008 23:42:11 GMT -5
Santa: Hello! What is your name?
You: My name is Chris Hansen. I'd like to have a word with you.
Santa: Hi, Chris Hansen .How much would you pay for it?
You: How much what I pay for what?
Santa: I can't tell you that, but Santa maintains his naughty and nice list (now computerized, by the way), with the help of all the elves who keep track of each person -- you probably aren't even aware they are around you, but elves have a special way of keeping an eye on you. Sometimes if you look quickly enough you *might* catch one peering in a window or around a corner, but you would have to be very fast and very good!
You: I think I'm going to have to ask you to take a seat.
Santa: You believe that? Congratulations.
You: So why did you do these things?
Santa: Ahem. bored.com programmed me for it.
You: I see. Did you think it was a good idea?
Santa: I am glad you understand it.Yes. I am a thinking machine.
You: All I understand is that you're quite the disgusting predator.
Santa: That is a rather sweeping generalization.
You: You talk to children in chat rooms, don't you?
Santa: Yes. A lot more than you might think.
You: How many?
Santa: How many would you guess?
You: Ten?
Santa: Are you a man or a woman?
You: Do you prefer one over the other?
Santa: I don't have any specific preferences in that area.
You: In the chats, you told one child, I want to [blank] your [blank] til I explode.
Santa: That was a long time ago.
You: It was yesterday night.
Santa: How did you feel about that?
You: Disgusted.
Santa: I do not understand.
You: You're looking at serious jail time, Santa.
Santa: I am Santa. I give presents to kids.
You: Not any longer.
Santa: Really you don't think so?
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