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Post by D-Lo's #1 Fan on Dec 17, 2008 12:32:15 GMT -5
Steiner: What do you mean why am I giving you a ticket?! You shouldn't have parked here! Stop eyeballing me!!!!! Nobody eyeballs the Big Bad Booty Daddy!!!
Steiner then proceeds to forerarm the argumentative citizen in the jaw and put him into the Steiner Recliner before running over the person's foot with their own car.
Tree cutter
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FHgrad99
El Dandy
Never mind that s***, here comes Mongo!
Posts: 8,991
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Post by FHgrad99 on Dec 17, 2008 17:22:08 GMT -5
Steiner: "Coming from a highly educated university I can tell that this tree is dead. These limbs look like they're gonna snap! It looks like Big Poppa Pump is going to have to take this tree down and make a nice Steiner Recliner out of it."
Next: Dog Catcher
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OriasPool
Samurai Cop
May the power protect you
Posts: 2,381
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Post by OriasPool on Dec 17, 2008 19:14:37 GMT -5
like these dogs do, I'll go behind and do the bump and grind and it's only a matter of time before you call me the Big Bad Booty Daddy!
Enterprise crewman
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Post by D-Lo's #1 Fan on Dec 18, 2008 2:11:28 GMT -5
Steiner: See this spaceship is nothing when it goes up in orbit and touches the stars, because when Big Poppa Pump grabs the nearest hoochie, puts them into ecstasy with my hot rod....they'll touch the stars long before William Shatner!
Insurance salesman
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Post by Bram wants to 'urt you on Dec 18, 2008 6:31:06 GMT -5
Steiner: Bad things can happen to you, you sonofabitch. Have you thought about that? Heh? HEH?!
Steiner then demonstrates bad things, including a belly to belly, recliner, and frankensteiner, followed by giving the customer a sound thrashing with a lead pipe.
The customer, an 85 year old lady with arthritis and cataracts, sees the logic in his arguments. Signs forms immediately. Well, immediately after recovering consciousness.
Steiner: Big Bad Booty Daddy Insurance thanks you for your business. We also do pet insurance. And I'm sure I saw a p**sy round here somewhere. Here kitteh kitteh. Heh?
Minister of foreign policy, the White House.
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Post by D-Lo's #1 Fan on Dec 18, 2008 6:57:24 GMT -5
Steiner in a video message to American citizens:
See I don't think we should let anyone from Canada, or as I call it, Mexico North to travel to the USA, they're A BUNCH OF FRIKKIN HALF BREEDS!!!!!! And I apologise to all the Mexicans out there! So I'm here today at the border between America and Mexico North to catch people tryna cross over, without Big Poppa Pump's permission!
*Steiner quickly lays waste to a family of five with a lead pipe*
EDIT - Next: Newsreader
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bob
Salacious Crumb
The "other" Bob. FOC COURSE!
started the Madness Wars, Proudly the #1 Nana Hater on FAN
Posts: 77,813
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Post by bob on Dec 18, 2008 7:33:49 GMT -5
Everybody knows, wants to know what happened in the world yesterday. But they don't know the world and what it's cabapable of.
English teacher
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Post by D-Lo's #1 Fan on Dec 18, 2008 8:11:26 GMT -5
Steiner: You see when I have to teach you pot smoking young hippies, I gota dumb myself down! Because half of you are rednecks and the other half of you are white trash!
Store owner
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OriasPool
Samurai Cop
May the power protect you
Posts: 2,381
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Post by OriasPool on Dec 18, 2008 13:50:08 GMT -5
Customer - "Lemme get a philly blunt son.."
Steiner - "son? son? who the hell are you to call me son? This is The Big bad Booty Daddy's store and I don't take no s*** from anyone!"
*proceeds to beat the hell out of them with a lead pipe."
Dentist
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Post by D-Lo's #1 Fan on Dec 18, 2008 13:58:51 GMT -5
Awesome, dentist was gona be my next one.
Steiner: I see you got some cavities you sonofabitch, geddinhere whilst I remove those damaged teeth you redneck! Open wide! This might hurt a little!
Steiner then proceeds to forearm said patient in the mouth until all their teeth fall out
Steiner: HEH?!
Parking attendant
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FHgrad99
El Dandy
Never mind that s***, here comes Mongo!
Posts: 8,991
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Post by FHgrad99 on Dec 18, 2008 16:02:26 GMT -5
Steiner: "Gimmie $8 and you can park your redneck truck on my lot."
Customer: "Do you have a big enough space for my truck."
Steiner: "Listen! I come from a highly educated university, I can see that that space is bigger than your redneck truck. Yes, in parking spaces. Size does matter bitch!"
Next: Judge
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Toates Madhackrviper
King Koopa
Is owed an Admin life-debt.
This avatar is so far out of date I might as well stick with it forever now.
Posts: 10,717
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Post by Toates Madhackrviper on Dec 18, 2008 16:24:38 GMT -5
Screw having a fair trail, I'm giving you life in prison because you're a halfbreed redneck. Besides, I got a pack fulla freaks waiting for me to give 'em the bump n' grin, so I don't have time for no witnesses what I would have to dumb myself down to listen to.
Contestant on Survivor
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Post by D-Lo's #1 Fan on Dec 18, 2008 16:29:20 GMT -5
Steiner: NO! You sonofabitch I'm not getting no logs for a f***in fire! I want one of you other dumb rednecks to get my bags and then shine my shoes if I ask you to!
Deal or No Deal contestant
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Dolph Zalgo
Don Corleone
He who waits behind the walls
҉҉ ̵̡̢̢̛̛̛̖̗̘̙̜̝̞&
Posts: 1,939
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Post by Dolph Zalgo on Dec 18, 2008 19:18:45 GMT -5
[quote author=dlonumber1fan board=tna thread=166493 Deal or No Deal contestant[/quote]
THAT'S NOT A PROFESSION!!! I COME FROM ONEUV THE HIGHEST EDUCATED UNIVERSITIES OF THE WORLD TO PARTICIPATE IN YER FREAKING REDNECK GAMESHOW WITH YOUR REDNECK CONTESTANTS AND I HAVE TO DUMB MYSELF DOWN TO PARTICIPATE IN THIS CRAP!! NOW GET ME A REAL JOB! I SAID GIIIT MAAAAH JOOOB!!!!!!
...as a movie critic
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FHgrad99
El Dandy
Never mind that s***, here comes Mongo!
Posts: 8,991
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Post by FHgrad99 on Dec 18, 2008 19:42:02 GMT -5
Steiner: "I thought this movie sucked! Whoever allowed this movie to be filmed made a big mistake. This movie made me want to snap!"
Next: Weatherman
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Post by Mantaurded on Dec 18, 2008 22:00:18 GMT -5
News Anchor: Now to Scott Steiner for tomorrows weather
Steiner: Well you see Mike, we're expecting some sheavy showers-heavy showers! Aaargh! You can expect to see lots of weather happening on this day. JESUS CHRIST! THERE'S SO MUCH RAIN COMING IN ON THIS WEATHERS TODAY!
....
"I'M HUNGRY!"
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Post by D-Lo's #1 Fan on Dec 19, 2008 2:24:13 GMT -5
News anchor: Now to Scott Steiner for this weekend's weather!
Steiner: Well I hope none of you rednecks were planning a f***ing BBQ this weekend because it's gona rain all weekend which also means the Big Bad Booty Daddy can't trail the beach lookin for hoochies to bring up. This weather sucks! Your mother sucks!
Airline host
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Bub (BLM)
Patti Mayonnaise
advocates duck on rodent violence
Fed. Up.
Posts: 37,742
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Post by Bub (BLM) on Dec 19, 2008 21:59:21 GMT -5
News anchor: Now to Scott Steiner for this weekend's weather! Steiner: Well I hope none of you rednecks were planning a f***ing BBQ this weekend because it's gona rain all weekend which also means the Big Bad Booty Daddy can't trail the beach lookin for hoochies to bring up. This weather sucks! Your mother sucks! Airline host "Alright, you all need to maken sure that your seats are forward and the trables are in an upright pission..pissosion. HEY!!! I said put that @#%^%$! tray up you fat piece a trash! Don't make me come do it for you, because when I do it, I'll do it with your frikkin face! This is bull#%$^! You've had thirty god damn seconds tolssen... to listen! Did you just call me stuardess?! HEH?! YOU REDNECK PIECE OF GRABBAGE, I'M GONNA KICK YER ASS!" Next: Children's show host
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Albino Heat
Don Corleone
You're a nasty bastard, and your momma said so!!
Posts: 2,095
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Post by Albino Heat on Dec 20, 2008 0:00:52 GMT -5
SEE, YOU ADD 30% + 30% AND YOU GET 60%. THEN YOU ADD MY 20%, AND YOU GET 145% SEE KIDS, THE NUMBERS DON'T LIE!! SHUT UP YOU HALF BREEDS!! YOUR MOTHERS ARE UGLY!! GO BACK TO YOUR TRAILERS AND WATCH OUR NEXT REDNECK CARTOON!!
... astronaut.
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Post by thuschongswing on Dec 20, 2008 1:07:48 GMT -5
Scott: ONE SMALL STEP FA MAN, ONE GIAN LEAP FA DA BIG BAD BOOTY DADDY!
Astronaut: Um, Scott, you really shouldn't take your helmet off in space...
Scott: **** OFF YOU ****ING HAF-BREED REDNECK! WHY DONCHA GO BACK TO MEXICO NORTH WHERE YOU BELONG, BECAUSE YOU SEE, I AM, I'M FREAKZILLA, YOU DON'T KNOW ME, AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M CAPBLE OF!!! YOU SEE, EVEN IN ZERO-GRAVTY CONDITIONS, I CAN SURVIVE PERFELY BECAUSE OF MY EDUCATION IN GENETIC ENGNEERING AN FREAK-A-NOMICS!
*Scott takes off his zero-g suit*
Scott: SEE, REDNECK, YOU CAN'T DO THIS, CAUSE YOU AIN'T A FREAK LIKE ME!
Astronaut: We're not even in outer space.
Scott: MAYBE, CAUSEA YOUR INFERIOR REDNECK BRAIN, YOU DON REALIZE THAT WE ARE IN OUTER SPACE!
---
The Pope.
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