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Post by Reptar on Dec 24, 2008 17:10:39 GMT -5
Steiner (without any cleaning supplies whatsoever): GOD DAMN IT! STAIN, YOU GET OFF THE WINDA! I'M FROM A HIGHLY EDUCATED UNIVERSITY, I'M A USE MY BRAIN POWAS AND GET YOU OFF DA WINDOW!
*Steiner stares at the window really hard for one minute, his face turning red. Nothing happens*
Steiner: DAMN IT! YOU DON'T WANNA GET OFF DA WINDOW, I CAN'T USE MY HIGHLY EDUCATED UNIVERSITY POWERS, I'M A FREAK, AND I'LL USE FORCE! NOW, LET'S DO SOME MATH! IF FORCE TIMES MASS EQUALS ACCELERATION, AND ACCELERATION TIMES VELOCITY EQUALS GRAVITY, THEN THE CHANCES OF THIS STAIN BEING ON THIS WINDOW AFTER I GET THROUGH WITH IT, DRASTICALLY GO DOWN!
*Steiner pushes the window as hard as he can, and ends up pushing himself off. He falls all the way down to the front yard of the house he was trying to clean the window off of*
Owner of the house: Oh my God, are you alright?
Steiner: HEH?!
Owner of the house: Well, sir, I asked you to clean the window on my house, and you fell off. Are you okay? Do you remember anything?
Steiner: I DON'T NEED THIS! I'M THE BIG POPPA PUMP, THE BIG BAD BOOTY DADDY, THE GENETIC FREAK, SCOTT STEINER! I LAND RIGHT NEXT TO YOUR REDNECK TRUCK!
*Steiner picks up the truck and smashes it*
Steiner: I'M HUNGRY!
Owner(looking scared): Umm...would you like my wife to make you something to eat?
Steiner: NO! TELL YOUR BITCH TO STOP CALLING ME!
Owner of the house: What?
Steiner: WHAT? WHAT AIN'T NO COUNTRY I EVER HEARD OF! THEY SPEAK ENGLISH IN WHAT?!
Owner: ....What?
Steiner: HEH?!
*Steiner gets in the truck and runs the guy over*
Next: Owner of a Lemonade Stand.
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ChitownKnight
El Dandy
Lets go Bears
Posts: 8,175
Member is Online
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Post by ChitownKnight on Dec 25, 2008 3:06:21 GMT -5
Stiener: LEMONAID LEMONIAD!!! Getcha Lemonade from the Genetic Freak
Kid: How much does it cost
Stiener: Now you see, this lemonade would normally cost 25 cents, but since i am a genetic FREAK, it will cost you 50 cents, but since i come from a highley educated university, this will cost a Dollar.
An Accountant
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Post by D-Lo's #1 Fan on Dec 25, 2008 4:58:05 GMT -5
Steiner: Well, I'm gona be honest with you you redneck, I didn't even bother to look at your books, because I can tell just by glancing at you, that you're nothing but white trash and you haven't made a single profit all year!
Customer: I paid you to look at......
Steiner: SHUT UP! YOU JUST HEARD YOUR ANALYSIS NOW GIVE ME MY 500 BUCKS BEFORE I JAMAFISTUPURA**!!!!!!!!!
Premier league football player
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Post by pixiesfan on Dec 25, 2008 7:16:45 GMT -5
Premier league football player 77th minute- Steiner is finally put in the game. Steiner: It's ABOUT TIME the BIG BAAAD BOODY DADAY is put in the game! You know I come from a highly edu- The exchanged player tries to give him the typical strike out handclap. Steiner knocks him out cold. Steiner: DON'T CHA EVER TRY TO INTERRUPT THE GENETIC FREAK YA WHITE TRASH REDNECK PIECE OF CRAP! GET CHA FAAAT AAAAAASS OFF THE FIELD!! After a counter attack, Steiner is the last man in the defending area, the striker comes towards him and Steiner just Steinerlines him out of his socks. The Ref has to do something. The red card would be more than appropriate. Steiner looks at the ref. Steiner: What yer looking at. Wanna suck my d*** or what? What the hell you're here for? The Ref fearfully grabs the yellow card. Steiner: A YELLOW card?! ARE YOU F****** KIDDING ME?! WHAT IS THIS? I THOUGHT THIS WAS FOOTBALL! THEY TOLD ME IT WAS FOOTBALL BEFORE SIGNING ME!! AND WHAT'S WITH THIS BALL?! IT AIN'T SHAPED LIKE AN EGG?!! THIS WAS WAY DIFFERENT IN MICHIGAN!!! His teammates try to calm him down. Steiner: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!! NO!! SHUT UP NED!!! The security guards finally grab him altogether and put him out of the arena. Steiner: YOU WHITE TRASH AIN'T BETTER THAN ME BUT I KNOW I'M BETTER THAN YOU ALL! BECAUSE YOUR WIVES KEEP ON CALLING ME!! Steiner has some last words before being escorted from the arena. Steiner: ...... I'm hungry! Next: Puppeteer at child's birthday
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Post by D-Lo's #1 Fan on Dec 25, 2008 14:25:05 GMT -5
LOL that was brilliant.
Steiner: So I gota wear this sh** on my hand?! What the **** am I supposed to do with this?!
Child's parent: You put it on your hand Mr Steiner, come on are you going to start? The children are getting restless, I'm paying you 100 bucks an hour and you've already wasted 45 minutes just questioning me what to do with the puppet, I'm not very pleased!
Steiner: SHUT UP! I DON'T WANA HEAR YOUR OPINION, I START WHEN I'M READY, I'M A GENETIC FREAK!
Child's parent: Mr Steiner the children! You're scaring them!
Steiner: SHUT UP YOU LITTLE PUNKS! I START WHEN I'M READY! HEH?!
Laptop salesman
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Post by Reptar on Dec 26, 2008 1:52:03 GMT -5
Old couple: Excuse me sir, we'd like to purchase a laptop.
Steiner: HEH?! YALL ARE 40 THOUSAND YEARS OLD, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU NEED A LAPTOP FOR?
Old woman: Well I never!
Steiner: YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT YOU NEVER, YOU NEVER HAD THE BIG BAD BOOTY DADDY, SCOTT STEINER!
Old man: I want to speak to your manager!
Steiner: You know what, I apologize to you both. I just thought you're wife was a very beautiful woman, and I guess sometimes, I do come on a little too strong. Nevertheless, what I said was very wrong, and I hope I can make it up to you. Actually, call this number, it should make it up to you.
*Steiner gives the old woman a note with a number on it. The old woman calls it, and Steiner's cellphone rings. Steiner looks at his phone and rejects the call.*
Steiner: HEY TELL YOUR BITCH TO STOP CALLIN ME!
Old man: That's it, let me speak to your manager!
Steiner: I'm sorry sir. Here, take this McDonald's gift card I got for Christmas. It's work $50, that's how sorry I am about this whole mess.
Old man: Well thank you, sir, I---
Steiner: I'M HUNGRY! *takes back card*
Old man: Sir, I---
Steiner: SECURITY!
Old man: Sir, you are a disgrace to this fine store I've been coming to since I was 10 years old. And I know as well as you do that there is no security here.
Steiner: WRONG! BIG POPPA PUMP ALWAYS HAS SECURITY WITH HIM! *holds up arms and flexes*
*Steiner picks up the old couple and throws them out of the store*
Steiner: AND STAY OUT! OH, WHAT'S THIS?! YOU'RE A REDNECK? YOU'RE GOT A REDNECK TRUCK!
*Steiner goes over to the truck and starts ripping things off with his arms. A big, fat, redneck guy then comes out of the store and walks up to Steiner.*
Redneck: WHAT THE HALE YOU THINK YA DOIN, BUDDY?!
Steiner: HEH?!
*Steiner gets his ass kicked*
Next: Lead singer of a rock band
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Post by D-Lo's #1 Fan on Dec 26, 2008 6:34:40 GMT -5
Steiner: What's up Texas?!
Crowd member: This is Tennessee idiot!
Steiner: HEH?! EITHER WAY YOU'RE A BUNCH OF WHITE TRASH!
*crowd boos*
Steiner: SHUT UP YOU BUNCH OF REDNECKS, YOU BETTER COUNT YOURSELF LUCKY THAT THE BIG BAD BOOTY DADDY IS EVEN PLAYING YOUR STUPID LITTLE HALF BREED POPULATED TOWN! THE GIRLS HERE CHEW TOBACCO AND THE MEN DRESS LIKE WOMEN!
*Steiner does push ups on-stage and then fights off the raucous crowd with his electric guitar*
DJ at a New Years Eve party
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FHgrad99
Vegeta
Never mind that s***, here comes Mongo!
Posts: 9,013
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Post by FHgrad99 on Dec 26, 2008 12:19:08 GMT -5
Steiner: "Do any of you white trash have any requests?
Party Guest: "Play YMCA!"
Steiner: "No, because that song sucks and the Indian isn't a real Indian, he's a freaking half-breed."
Guest: "What about the Macarena?"
Steiner: "No, because it's made by Mexican white trash."
Guest: "What can you play?"
Steiner: "I can play your girlfriend if you want me do."
Guest: "I don't want you to play my girlfriend, you idiot."
Steiner: "I don't want to hear your opinion. I'll play your girlfriend wheather you want me to or not. I want to show her what it's like to be with a real man."
Guest: "You disgust me."
Steiner: "You're nothing but white trash. You are a redneck, you drive a redneck truck and your mother sucks. I'm hungry!"
Next: Funeral Director.
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Post by D-Lo's #1 Fan on Dec 27, 2008 12:51:48 GMT -5
Steiner: Right here's how we're gona do things! I'm gonna bring the casket in by myself because I'm a genetic freak! I'm gona enter with your husband to my own entrance music and then I'm gona slam the SOB right there in front of the altar!
Nightclub doorman
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Post by pixiesfan on Dec 27, 2008 14:06:59 GMT -5
*Steiner does push ups on-stage Just the thought of that is so amazing ;D Steiner: [looks at guy] Pass. Steiner: [looks at the next guy] Pass. Barely though. Steiner: [looks at four guys next in line] Nah. Look at you. Get your fat asses outta here. Guy#1: Who are you to tell me th- Steiner: You see I come from a highly educated university so- Guy#2: What?! Steiner: You see you don't have to wait when THE EARTH rotates with a 47 Degree axis so the STAAARRS can touch THE SKAAYYY and create an EEKRULACKS so they can see the BIG DIPP- Guy#1: Yeah, you know what, get lost. Let's go inside guys. Steiner kicks him in the gut and press slams him onto his buddies. Steiner: YOUR MOTHER SUCKS! Steiner: [looks at the three hot chicks next in line] Hey babeys, you can get ma room numbers if you want you wanna be with a real man huh? [show his muscles] You wanna kiss that? Huh? Kiss that, kiss that, babey. Chick#1: Gosh, you're gross. Chick#2: Yeah, like sooo, just step aside and let us in. Like. Chick#3: Yeah, like, totally. Steiner: OHHH SO YOU DON'T WANNA KISS THAT?! THIS IS NOT GONNA CHANGE MY FOCUS ON GETTIN EVEN WITH BILL GOLDBERG FOR FRACTSCHURIN MA FACE! Chick#3: Goldberg? Steiner double clotheslines chick 1 & 2, kisses his peaks and elbows them. He goes after chick#3 and bashes her head into a truck. Steiner: NOW GIN A GPS YURA DUMP NOW GETMA BAGS! GETMAA BAAAGSS!! AND YOU WILL SHINE MY SHOES IF I WANT YOU TO. NOW GET YOUR FAT WHITE TRASH REDNECK ASSES AND YOUR HOOCH GIRLFRIENDS OUT OF THIS PLACE!! Steiner goes back into his position. Steiner: ...... I'M hungry. Next: Tattoo artist. By the way, this thread is made out of solid awesomeness. Especially the last pages are effin great.
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Post by D-Lo's #1 Fan on Dec 27, 2008 15:39:40 GMT -5
Steiner: Ok so what do you want?
College jock: Ok dude, I want a tribal sleeve. I want it to....
Steiner: What?! Why would you want that?! Let me tell you something, reaaaaal men would have a tattoo like this! *Steiner rips off his shirt to reveal his tattoo*
College jock: Dude that tattoo isn't what I asked for....
Steiner: HEH?! *Steiner boots the young man right in the testicles before belly to belly suplexing him through the work bench*
*The young man wakes up several hours later in the middle of the tattoo studio with REDNECK tattooed across his stomach in an arch shape*
Steiner: YOU KNOW WHY YOU GOT THAT TATTOO? BECAUSE A) YOU TRIED TO COME INTO BIG POPPA PUMP'S STUDIO AND TELL HIM WHAT TO DO AND B) YOU'RE A REDNECK! I SAW YOUR REDNECK TRUCK THAT YOU PULLED UP IN AND SO THAT YOU'RE NOTHING BUT WHITE TRASH! SO I MADE THE CONSCIOUS DECISION TO TATTOO REDNECK ACROSS YOUR STOMACH! ALSOOOOO WHILST YOU WERE SEEIN STARS, I SHOWED YOUR OLD LADY WHAT A REAL MAN IS, SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO WAIT TO SEE THE EARTH TURN ON A 47 DEGREE AXIS, WHEN I SHOWED HER MY BIG DIPPER AND GAVE HER SOMETHING THAT LASTED LONGER THAN IT TOOK TO DO YOUR TATTOO! GETOUTTAMYSTUDIOYOUSONOFAB****!!!!!!!!!
Next: Chaperone for a girl at her prom.
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FHgrad99
Vegeta
Never mind that s***, here comes Mongo!
Posts: 9,013
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Post by FHgrad99 on Dec 27, 2008 16:02:02 GMT -5
Steiner: "Your mother said that you have to be home by midnight."
Girl: "My date is here."
Steiner: "Let's go because I'm hungry."
Date: "Hello"
Steiner: "What do you want?"
Date: "I'm her prom date."
Steiner: "I thought you dated real men and not this pipsqueak."
Girl: "Hey!"
Steiner: "Shut the hell up! He sucks, his mother sucks."
Date: "What are you talking about?"
Steiner: "Shut up you piece of white trash. If you say another word, I'll kick your ass so hard, you'll be flossing with my shoelaces. Lets get out of here. I'm hungry."
Next: Furniture Mover
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Post by D-Lo's #1 Fan on Dec 27, 2008 16:29:59 GMT -5
Snooty lady: Be careful with my grand piano! It's an antique!
Steiner: All right, how am gona do this......*Steiner kicks it with all his force. Shockingly it doesn't go into the truck, just several of the keys fall off*
Snooty lady: What are you doing you ignoramus?!
Steiner: HEH?! IGNORAMUS!? I'LL HAVE YOU KNOWWWW, I COME FROM A VERY HIGHLY EDUCATED UNIVERSITY AND WHEN I COME TO A HOME LIKE THIS, I GOTTA DUMB MYSELF DOWN!
Snooty lady: Well I never!
Steiner: You're f***ing right you never you white trash hoochie!
Snooty lady: You broke my piano!
Steiner: That piano was a piece of trash just like you! Now make me a sandwich b****, I'M HUNGRY!
Next: Steiner does jury duty
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Post by thesam07 on Dec 29, 2008 8:41:20 GMT -5
Juror - Ok so that's another Not Guilty. One more, this seems unanimous.........It says "Gutly"....I presume that is supposed to be Guilty. Who wrote this? (everyone looks at Scott doing pushups at the end of the table) (Scott relaises everyones looking at him) Scott - WHAD DA F*** ARE YOU LOOKIN AT!?! Juror - uuuhh, Mr.....Steiner is it? Scott - DATS DA BIG BAD BOOTY DADDY TO YOU! YA REDNECK! Juror - uuuhhh yes, so anyway, did you write this? Scott - YOU BET YER ASS I DID REDNECK! YOU GOTTA PROBLEM WIT DAT! HEH! HEH?!? Juror - Well, why do you believe he is Guilty? Scott - Well, I went to University, unlike you, cause your a redneck. Juror - No i'm no- Scott - SHUTCHERMOUTH!!! Anyway, I went to University. And from my understanding of the law, which I do, quite well very much, this man that we are accusing is very guilty of breaking the law.... Juror - .......and what law is that? Scott - the law of being a FAT ASS NO GOD SUNAB**** WHOSE A** STINKSAND HE SHOULD GET BACK TO NORTH MEXICO WITH THE REST OF THOSE FRENCH PIECES OF CRAP BEFORE ME AND MY FREAKS LOCK HIM INTO THE STEINER RECLINER LIKE THAT TIME I POOT STING IN A STRAIGHT JACKET AND HIT 'IM WID MY PIPE AND THEN BROKE HIM IN HALF WITH THE RECLINER JUST LIKE I BROKE THOS FREAKS IN HALF LAST NIGHT WHEN I (This very disturbing rant goes on for at least another 20 minutes so we'll just cut to the end) AND A ZEBRA ON TOP! HOLLA IF YA HEAR ME? (The entire jury looks on in horror and stunned silence at Scott) (Scott pulls a lead pipe out of nowhere and starts smashing the table) Scott - *panting*......I'M HUNGRY!!! (drops the pipe and walks off)
Scott as a Computer Technician.
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Post by D-Lo's #1 Fan on Dec 30, 2008 16:51:23 GMT -5
Steiner: Are you the redneck who called me about problems with your wireless router??!
Office clerk: Excuse me? Yes I....
Steiner: SHUT UP WHITE TRASH! WHAT THE F*** IS THE PROBLEM WITH IT?!
Office clerk:......Well....
Steiner: YOU TALK TOO SLOW YOU HICK! I'LL ASK IT MYSELF!
*Scott walks over to the router*
Steiner: YOU! WHAT'S YOUR F***ING PROBLEM?! WHY ARE YOU CAUSING GRIEF FOR THESE PEOPLE THAT ARE TRYNA WORK?! YOU SON OF A B****! HEH?!
*Steiner rips the antenna off this particular router and then smashes the sole of his foot through it, leaving it completely broken*
Steiner: That's what happens when you don't cooperate with the Big Bad Booty Daddy!!!!!!
*Steiner does push-ups over the shattered plastic of the router.*
Next: Steiner works in a bank
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FHgrad99
Vegeta
Never mind that s***, here comes Mongo!
Posts: 9,013
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Post by FHgrad99 on Dec 31, 2008 12:42:01 GMT -5
Steiner: "What do you want?"
Customer: "I would like to withdraw $50 from my account."
Steiner: "OK, you piece of poor white trash."
Customer: "What are you talking about? That is disrepectful."
Steiner: "Shut up! I don't want to hear your opinion."
Customer: "I want to speak....."
Steiner: "Screw you! Here's your 50 bucks. Get the hell out of here before I snap!"
Customer: "You are the worst bank teller ever."
Steiner: "Well, your old lady is the worst freak I've ever had."
Next: Host of a Wildlife Television Show
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Post by mauled on Dec 31, 2008 13:05:20 GMT -5
How bout Scotty hired as Ric Flairs new agent
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Post by D-Lo's #1 Fan on Dec 31, 2008 14:00:35 GMT -5
Steiner: "What do you want?" Customer: "I would like to withdraw $50 from my account." Steiner: "OK, you piece of poor white trash." Customer: "What are you talking about? That is disrepectful." Steiner: "Shut up! I don't want to hear your opinion." Customer: "I want to speak....." Steiner: "Screw you! Here's your 50 bucks. Get the hell out of here before I snap!" Customer: "You are the worst bank teller ever." Steiner: "Well, your old lady is the worst freak I've ever had." Next: Host of a Wildlife Television Show Steiner: Now when I come into the jungle, I gotta be reaaaaal quiet, because.... *Tiger roars* Steiner: HEY! HEY! SHUT UP! CAN'TYOUSEEWE'RETRYNAFILMEREYOUSONOFAB*TCH!!!!!! *Tiger starts coming toward Steiner and looking him up and down* Steiner: Nobody eyeballs the big bad booty daddy! *Steiner hits the Frankensteiner on said Tiger and then slaps the Recliner on it.* Producer: Scott! You can't treat a tiger that way! Steiner: Shut up you redneck!!!!! How bout Scotty hired as Ric Flairs new agent Steiner: I suggest you DON'T book my latest client, because he's a saggy old man with more loose skin than a sharpe puppy and he's a BUTT SUCKING OLD BAST***!!!!!! Ric Flair, you belong retired because you SUCK! Next: Mobile Phone customer service
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