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Post by Deleted on Mar 10, 2011 0:17:41 GMT -5
Tuesday NiteRaw March 8th, 2011Hoss - Welcome to Tuesday NiteRaw! I’m Gorilla Tim Hoss and with me is Jerry Fish!Fish - Coming off of Ernest Goes to Wargames, we have tons of action, so let’s get right to it!Hoss - Let’s kick it off with Gus Richlen taking on Johnny Stone!Gus Richlen V. Johnny StoneMICHAEL MUFFER: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!*”You’ve Got Another Thing Coming” hits as Johnny Stone heads to the ring, Ryan Blood not far behind.* MUFFER: Accompanied by Ryan Blood, now residing inYellowknife, Northwest Territories, Canada, weighing in at 237 pounds, he is one half of the WWCF World Tag Team Champions, Johnny Stone!TIM HOSS: Tonight, Johnny Stone faces Gus Richlen one on one, but next week, Blood and Stone must defend the Tag Team Championships against Richlen and a partner of his choosing. Considering that Richlen was unfortunately on the losing end of the WarGames match last week, I think he might be extra motivated for the next few weeks!JERRY FISH: Add in the fact that Stone is one of the contenders for the WWCF Championship along with Ryan Blood, and Richlen - uh, hey, Hoss, enough about Richlen, Blood’s heading this way. SO, UH, HEYYYYYYYYY, HOW ‘BOUT THOSE TAG CHAMPS??HOSS: Knock it off, Fish. You’re not fooling anyone watching at home, and I highly doubt you’re fooling Ryan Blood.BLOOD (putting on a headset): Show some respect, Fish. The full title is WWCF WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!JERRY FISH: OW, MY EARS!HOSS: Jesus H. Christ, do you HAVE to yell into your headset mic like that?!BLOOD: Be grateful I don't do more than that, Timmy. After what happened to your regular broadcast partner, you oughtta realize that saying the wrong things on commentary can be bad for you.HOSS: ...*”Scarred For Life” soon hits along with the pyro as Gus Richlen heads down the ramp, but stops partway down and looks back…. ”EL-E-VA-TION!!!!”There’s another single pyro blast, the lights flash red, and “Elevation” by U2 hits as Shaelin Marie O’Hara joins Richlen to a massive pop. The two then head to the ring.* MUFFER: And his opponent, accompanied by Shaelin Marie O’Hara, from Peshtigo, Wisconsin, weighing in at 170 pounds, the “Xtreme Machine,” Gus Richlen!HOSS: The WarGames match aside, all is right in Gus Richlen’s world: he has a huge title match next week, and he has his girl back in his arms. And were it not for Cageking’s double cross last week, Richlen and Shaelin Marie would be heading straight for the Thunderdome!FISH: Half a loaf, Hoss, half a loaf. And I’ve seen Richlen eat half a loaf in one sitting. Wish I knew how he manages to eat as much as he does and still look that good. Must be genetics or something.BLOOD: Weren't you just kissing up to me a minute ago? You just love everybody, doncha Jer? If you ever pick a sidee, the smart bet is Blood & Stone. Anybody cheering for Richlen and whoever next week is just going to feel crushed after we beat them like we've beaten everybody else who's taken a shot at our titles.*Shaelin stays on the outside as a wary Will Alphonzo, still irritated over getting duped by Shaelin the week before, calls for the bell. Stone tries to lock up with Richlen but is quickly shoved back. Stone tries again but gets elbowed in the head. Stone tries again and manages to back Richlen to the corner, forcing Alphonzo to force Stone to break it up. Stone backs up and charges, but Richlen moves out of the way and Stone hits the turnbuckle instead! Richlen charges and jumps for the Dark Lasso, but Stone gets out of the way! Richlen manages to avoid crotching himself, however, and quickly climbs to the top rope, and as Stone turns, Richlen goes flying, Buff Blockbuster!* BLOOD: If Richlen thinks something as weak as that's gonna keep Johnny Stone down, he's even more of an idiot than I thought.*Stone is up quickly, however, so Richlen takes to kicking him in the sides before lifting him up, charging, running powerslam! Richlen covers! 1! Stone gets out at just one.* HOSS: Richlen possesses an amazing amount of power for a man his size, as we have seen. And Blood, you can’t tell me that you’re not even remotely concerned by that fact.BLOOD: An ant can lift, what, twice, three times its body weight? Something like that, pretty powerful insect. Doesn't mean it's tough to squash one of 'em. And before you say it, yes, I know that Gus there can take more punishment than an ant--but Ryan Blood and Johnny Stone know how to dish it out, and whether its Richlen or his mysterious mystery partner of mystery, our challengers can only absorb so much.*Richlen gets in a snap suplex, and as Stone gets up, Richlen kicks him in the gut and bounces off the ropes to go for the leapfrog stomp, but Stone catches him and lifts him up, Gorilla Press Slam!* FISH: Of course, Stone is pretty strong himself.BLOOD: Damn skippy, Fish. Also the sun is bright, water is wet, and Shaelin Marie's snatch is a biohazard.*Stone tries to put Richlen in a Boston crab, but Richlen manages to get to the ropes and Stone breaks the hold before the ref can start counting. Richlen pulls himself up right into a release German suplex as Shaelin Marie watches with concern. The downed Richlen then falls victim to a wheelbarrow facebuster, followed by another attempt at a Boston crab, but this time Richlen counters it into a small package!!! 1! 2! STONE KICKS OUT! BLOOD: Yeah, like that was gonna work...*Both men get to their feet, but Richlen does so right into a vertical brainbuster! Stone covers!* 1! 2! RICHLEN KICKS OUT! BLOOD: Unfortunately for my tag partner, what brains Richlen has are already damaged, making him kind of immune to that move.*Stone pulls Richlen up, Texas piledriver!* 1! 2! RICHLEN GETS THE SHOULDER UP!* HOSS: Richlen has so far withstood everything that Stone has thrown at him, but how much more can he possibly take?BLOOD: A finite amount, Hossy, and Stone's just gonna keep piling it on until he reaches his limit. That's what we do, and we're damn good at it.*Stone picks Richlen up again, Thunder Fire Powerbomb!* 1! 2! RICHLEN KICKS OUT! BLOOD: You're just delaying the inevitable, kid.*Stone picks him up again and goes for the release powerbomb, but Richlen counters into a headscissors takedown!!! Both men are down as Shaelin Marie starts yelling for Richlen to get up.* BLOOD: C'mon Johnny, get up!FISH: If this were to happen next week, both men would be needing to get back to the corner and make the tag, but right now, all that’s happening is Will Alphonzo is counting both men out!BLOOD: Goddamn it, get up!!!*Richlen gets up first, notices how close Stone is to one of the corners, runs up the turnbuckles, kickflips, and hits the Montanasault, but Stone rolls through!!! 1! 2! RICHLEN KICKS OUT!!!!* BLOOD: HAHAHA! Just as all the Richlen fans were crapping their pants in joy!HOSS: Richlen has just not been able to get an advantage on Stone in this match!FISH: It’s not over yet, though.BLOOD: It might as well be. Richlen's bit off more than he can chew.*As if to prove Fish’s point, Stone goes for a running headbutt, but Richlen catches him and nails the Carnosel! Richlen, fired up now, tosses his A-shirt to the crowd, then goes for the Schwinn Smash, but he’s on the wrong side, and Stone catches his foot! But as Stone stands up, he winds up being the recipient of a Richlenziguri! Richlen backs up, and, screaming, he nails the rising Stone with the Schwinn smash! 1! 2! STONE KICKS OUT!* HOSS: Blood, if I were you, I’d be concerned if you or Stone were to land in this situation next week with the titles on the line!BLOOD: You WISH you were me, Hoss, like everybody else. And for all that this guy can do, the fact is that we've been hit with all kinds of moves by all kinds of opponents, and their little flurries of offense only delayed their inevitable defeat at our hands.*The crowd is well into the match by now, and a slowly rising Stone gets back to his feet, only for Richlen to grab him by the throat and hit the chokeslam! Richlen hits the Swerving Elbow before covering! 1! 2! STONE KICKS OUT!* BLOOD: Why does he act like he's gonna fist drop somebody before dropping an elbow? Is he trying to "swerve" us?*Richlen is stalking Stone, and sure enough, Stone stumbles right into the Final Judg- NO! Stone counters and goes for the Patty Flip- NO!!! RICHLEN COUNTERS INTO THE LIGHTS OUT TKO!!!! 1! 2! 3!!!!!* BLOOD: WHAT THE f***?!?!MUFFER: Here is your winner, the “Xtreme Machine,” Gus Richlen!HOSS: If that happens next week, we are going to see the end of Blood and Stone’s long reign at the top of the tag division!BLOOD: SHUT UP!!!!*Blood gets up, throws down his headset, and heads for the ring.* FISH: I don’t think somebody is willing to wait until next week!*Blood charges the ring while Richlen and Shaelin are celebrating and floors Richlen with a roundhouse kick! Shaelin attempts to go after Blood but gets hip tossed away, landing on her hand in the process! She gets up, holding her wrist and grimacing as she does so. Meantime, Blood has helped Stone to his feet and the two are putting the boots to Richlen. Eventually, Stone pulls Richlen up for a powerbomb as Blood climbs the top rope!* HOSS: I guess they want to make sure that there IS no match next -*AND “NEW BLACKJACKS THEME” HITS AS LITTLE NAITCH RUSHES THE RING WITH A CHAIR!!!!!* FISH: Saved by the Naitch!*Blood jumps down from the turnbuckle and bails along with Stone as Naitch joins Richlen as he checks on Shaelin. Momentarily, Richlen grabs a mic:* HEY, BLOOD! HOPE YOU AND STONE ENJOY YOUR LAST FEW DAYS AS TAG CHAMPS- OH, I’M SORRY, WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, BECAUSE NEXT WEEK, NAITCH AND I ARE GOING TO MAKE LUGGAGE CHECK A WHOLE LOT EASIER FOR YA BOTH, BECAUSE WE’RE WALKING OUT OF THIS RING NEXT WEEK AS TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!*Richlen pauses as the crowd goes nuts and Blood, Stone, Naitch, and a visibly pained Shaelin trade verbal barbs.* AND THAT…*Richlen pauses again as the crowd finishes his catchphrase, then:* IS A PROMISE.*Richlen throws down the mic as the insults continue flying.* HOSS: THIS SITUATION COULD NOT POSSIBLY GET MORE VOLATILE! NEXT WEEK, GUS RICHLEN AND LITTLE NAITCH UNITE TO TAKE ON THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, THE TITLES ON THE LINE AND BAD BLOOD ALL AROUND!FISH: One thing’s for certain, Hoss: I cannot wait until those two teams lock horns next week!Jesse King walks down the aisle, wearing a neck brace. King - OK Fish. I’m sure you had fun pretending to be me, but playtime’s over. Get out of here!Fish leaves and King sits down. Hoss - Welcome back, Jess.King - Whatever. What’s up next?Hoss - Up next is a battle between Stryker and Jeremy Grave!Stryker Dark Silence V. Jeremy GraveMuffer - The following contest is set for one fall, with a twenty minute time limit.*Drums and Bagpipes* Muffer - Introducing first, from the WWCF Hall of Fame, weighing in at 240 pounds, Stryker Dark Silence!Hoss - A couple of weeks ago, Stryker attempted to run the gauntlet against the Pantheon, and hell if he didn’t almost pull it off!King - Yeah, but almost only gets you so far, Gorilla. He couldn’t seal the deal in the end!*Perfect Enemy* Muffer - And his opponent, from Hamilton, Ontario, weighing in at 220 pounds, Jeremy Grave!Hoss - After coming up short in the Iron Man Match, followed by Cageking turning on him at Ernest Goes to Wargames, Jeremy Grave is itching for a fight.King - That’s great, but he better not go into this thing expecting a cakewalk. If he does, he’ll be in for quite a surprise.At this point, Grave asks for, and receives Michael Muffer's microphone. You're all probably wondering why I'm wearing armguards now, right? Well...At this point, Grave removes his left armguard, revealing a 10 inch scar along the outer bone. During last week's cage match, my arm was broken by CageKing's assault on me. I've had a metal plate inserted, and I'm not letting the injury affect my career.
CageKing, I lied before, you made 2 mistakes. The first was costing yourself the championship by trying to end me, the second was not finishing the job.Grave tosses the mic aside as the bell rings. Stryker and Grave lock up. Stryker shoots behind Grave and hammers him with elbows to the back of the head, then a rear waistlock into a takedown. He shoots back around the front, attempting a front facelock, but Grave blocks the attempt and gets back to his feet. The two tie up again, this time Grave goes right after the legs, scooping Stryker up and throwing him to the mat! Elbow drop by Grave, cover, but not even a one count! Both men quickly get to their feet. Hoss - So far, both men are evenly matched.They tie up once again, this time Stryker pulls Grave into a knee to the midsection, then snap suplex’s him! Cover! 1! Kickout! Stryker holds onto Grave, pulling him up into a modified bear hug, with Grave slung over Stryker’s left shoulder. Stryker hoists Grave up and rams him into the turnbuckle! He lets go, then charges, but Grave gets a knee up! Stryker stumbles back, Grave out of the corner with a dropkick to the knee, then a rollup! 1! 2! Kickout! Grave nails Stryker with some shots to the ribs, then slams him to the mat. He pulls him back up, back suplex! Grave sits Stryker up, then grabs the arm, locking in a kimura! King - Kimura, Gorilla! Look at the pressure being put on the arm by Grave!Grave wrenches the arm back, causing Stryker to yell out. As Grave works the hold some more, Stryker uses his free arm to grab Grave’s leg and pull him down, forcing a break. Stryker rolls to the outside to regroup, with Grave quickly following. Stryker rakes the eyes, then rams Grave’s head into the ring post! He then rolls Grave back in the ring. Stryker rolls back in as well. He pulls Grave up and throws him into the corner. Stinger Splash! As Grave staggers out of the corner, Stryker slaps on the Sleeper! Hoss - The sleeper hold! Stryker has it locked in! This is it!Grave struggles, but starts to fade. Referees Spud Johnson checks Grave’s arm. He raises it once, and it drops. He raises it twice and it drops. A third time… NO! Grave fights back to his feet! Stryker hangs off Grave’s back, clinging to the hold with all his might. Grave steps forward, then falls back, driving Stryker into the mat! Cover! 1! 2! Kickout! Grave pulls Stryker up, but get’s caught in a small package! 1! 2! Kickout! Stryker charges Grave, but get’s back body dropped over the top rope! Grave tries to go after him, but Johnson stops him. As Grave and the ref argue, Cageking runs down and hit’s the Overnight Celebrity on Stryker! He runs back up the ramp as Johnson turns to see Stryker laid out. He begins the count… “1! 2! 3! 4!” Grave tries to roll out after him, but is pulled back… “5! 6! 7!” Hoss - Stryker is out cold, Jess!“8! 9!” King - Don’t tell me this is gonna end in a count out!“10!” Muffer - Ladies and gentlemen, your winner, as the result of a count out, Jeremy Grave!Grave doesn’t look happy as Johnson raises his arm. Hoss - Grave wins it, but not the way he would’ve liked.King - I don’t like it much more than you Gorilla, but a win is a win.Hoss - The big question here is why did Cageking attack Stryker?MPM: Fresh offa Earnest Goes to Wargames and a Decisive win over JoNo and I sit here as usual.....not Freaking booked!
I don't know what to think.....Does the grand Bookerman want me well rested for my long and well deserved reign as the Champion of Honor, or does he want me to be fat and complacent so I get slaughtered like a fatted calf?Chubbs: Beggin' the Cap'n's pardon sirrah.....but who are ye talking too?*Mulligan motions to an audience.....that apparently only he can see* MPM: My Hundreds! (And Hundreds!) of adoring Mulliganiacs! They Want to see me whip Evil M from Stem to Stern and Keelhaul the so-called Champion of Honor! The People want ME to be the new Champion of Honor.....no.....Not Honor.......I decree that If.....nonono....."If" is Loser Talk.....WHEN I beat Evil M for his......NO.....MY title.......I'll not muck about with a fake "Code of Honor". It's the Pirate's Code for me!
Hell.....if'n M's Man enough.....and agrees to it.....Why don't we have the title match under "Pirate's Code" rules? Chubbs: But Cap'n......I've been a buccaneer for as long as I kin remember and I've never heard of No "Pirate's Code" regarding wrestling. MPM: There's a good reason for that.....I ain't made them up yet
*Riotous Laughter*Jonathan Michaels and The Boiler Room Brawler V. Whitey Fats and Caleb FourchonTH: Well let's get this underway, King.JK: You got it. We have the freshly aligned Whitey Fats and the Cajun Crusher, Caleb Fourchon, facing off against also freshly paired Jonathan Michaels and Boiler Room Brawler.TH: Who makes better partners? We'll find out tonight on Tuesday Niteraw!MM: Our next match is a tag team match scheduled for one fall...*Old Classic Southern Music* JK: Well my pick is gonna be Whitey and Caleb, personally. JoNo got dust in his eyes from Hideo Nakatomi, and BRB is showing signs of psychotic dementia.Whitey Fats and Caleb Fourchon walk down the ramp together. Whitey strides with confidence while Caleb Fourchon leers at fans as they both head for the ring.TH: Interesting analysis, King.JK: Thank you.TH: But did you consider that JoNo and BRB probably aligned for a reason?MM: Now entering the ring at a combined weight of 528lbs, hailing from Starke, Florida and Dulac, Louisiana, they are Whitey Fats... and Caleb... Fourchon!JK: I'm not sure that BRB has anything to do with the word, "reason," right now, Hoss.TH: Maybe, but JoNo surely has his reasons, and BRB doesn't seem to lack wrestling skill nor power.Whitey and Caleb pose in different corners.MM: And their opponents...*DOA by Foo Fighters* Jonathan Michaels and Boiler Room Brawler step out. Boiler Room Brawler is dressed just like Jonathan Michaels and imitating his mannerisms.TH: Makes me wonder if BRB knows some of JoNo's moves at all.JK: I'm skeptical to say the least. BRB flaked out against Tyfo two weeks ago in the middle of the ring. What if it happens again tonight?TH: Hopefully it won't, but if he does, JoNo better have a plan.MM: Now entering the ring at a combined weight of 565lbs, hailing from Los Angeles, California and Rockford, Illinois, they are Jonathan Michaels, and Boiler... Room... Brawler!JK: Muffer announces them like they're the champs. Fat chance of that happening.TH: Just you wait and see, King.JoNo slides into the ring while BRB walks up the ring steps and then crosses the ropes.TH: BRB and Whitey have quite the storied history together at this point...JK: As do Caleb Fourchon and Jonathan Michaels.TH: Tonight's match has many elements that should blend to make a perfect storm of wrestling action tonight.JoNo and BRB pose together while Whitey and Fourchon work out who goes first.TH: Referee Will Alphonzo getting ready to call this match.Whitey goes first. Fourchon crosses the ropes and waits in the corner. JoNo goes first while BRB crosses to the apron.JK: Oh, so Jonathan Michaels doesn't want this match to get interesting too fast, I see...TH: If that's how you want to look at things. I say it's interesting as is right now. Michaels and Fats have no particular history with each other. It'll be a clash of styles and personalities that has likely never been seen before in WWCF.JK: I thought Michaels was about pleasing the fans...Will Alphonzo starts the match. Whitey keeps his arm on the ropes as he circles the ring. JoNo gets into a fighting stance and follows Whitey's movements.JK: That's why I would have sent BRB out there right away.TH: Well like you said; BRB's a wild card.Whitey feints left. JoNo darts for him, but Whitey actually moves to the right, and capitalizes with a clothesline to JoNo as he turns around. JoNo hits the mat back first.TH: Whitey takes JoNo down to the mat.JK: See? This match is already over. Ring the bell.TH: Always jumping the gun, King.JoNo is back to his feet in no time, but Whitey is ready with another clothesline. JoNo catches Whitey's arm and takes him down to the mat with an arm bar counter.TH: Michaels with the counter.JK: That was just luck.Whitey grabs the rope to break the hold. Both men stand up. Whitey takes a few steps towards Caleb, who holds his hand out.JK: Smart move by Whitey; he's buttered up Michaels for his partner to take out.Whitey hesitates to tag Fourchon in and rushes for JoNo with a full body slam, but JoNo drops down. Whitey heads for the ropes while JoNo stands up. He goes for another clothesline, but JoNo ducks him. He reaches the other ropes and tags in Caleb Fourchon.TH: Whitey's had enough of JoNo for now; it's time for Caleb to face his former mentor.JK: Caleb really didn't need Michaels. Michaels needed Caleb.Caleb and JoNo circle eachother. Caleb steps forward and locks up with JoNo. Caleb wins out and puts JoNo in an abdominal stretch.TH: Caleb is going to wear down JoNo first.JK: Well, yeah, just like the Wrestling Messiah.Caleb tightens up on his abdominal stretch on JoNo. He rams his free arm's elbow into JoNo's side. BRB holds out his hand, but JoNo cannot quite reach it.TH: Caleb Fourchon has taken control of this match and he's not letting go.JK: Well I coulda told ya this would happen.JoNo reaches further for BRB, who reaches even further himself, but neither man can close the distance. Caleb hooks JoNo by the leg, and cradles him in his arms.JK: Look at Michaels; like a baby!TH: Caleb Fourchon going for a fallaway slam!Caleb hoists JoNo up and over for a fallaway slam. JoNo lays in recovery from the strain of the abdominal stretch. Caleb tags Whitey in.TH: Caleb Fourchon with the tag.JK: JoNo's ready for a real whitewash now.Whitey stand Michaels up into a bent over position. He waistlocks JoNo for a powerbomb, but JoNo reverses. Whitey falls onto his back. JoNo maintains his hold on Whitey, and turns him over for a Boston crab.TH: JoNo with a reversal into a Boston crab. Not so fast, Whitey!JK: Oh, horse hockey!JoNo maintains his hold as Whitey tries to escape the hold. BRB relaxes some.TH: Michaels is saving a little time from Fourchon's abdominal stretch. Hopefully he'll know when he must go for BRB's tag.JK: Whitey has his reputation on the line tonight. He was last taken out by BRB and he cannot afford to lose to him tonight after returning.JoNo lets Whitey go and tags in BRB. Whitey rolls out of the ring to recover.TH: Whitey retreating already. You were saying, King?JK: Put a sock in it, Hoss.BRB stamps about in the ring, gesturing to Whitey, then to the crowd.TH: BRB's ready for Whitey, but the same cannot be said vice versa.JK: Well, until he switches personalities again-BRB suddenly pauses in the ring.
JK: Well, well, well...
BRB puts his hands, palmfirst, in front of himself. He then places one above himself and one to the side.
TH: What the hell?
JK: I think he's... a mime.
TH: Oh jeez...
Whitey gazes at BRB's antics. He and Caleb are mutually perplexed.
JK: Get him, Whitey! BRB's a friggin' mime!
TH: BRB screws another pooch, WWCF Galaxy.
Whitey slides into the ring and approaches BRB, who pretends to peel a banana and eat it.
JK: Is BRB taking his seriously?
BRB pretends to throw away the peel at his side. Whitey throws a clothesline, but BRB pretends to slip on the banana, and then counters with a school boy pin.
JK: No way!
TH: BRB could take it right here!
Alphonzo counts one, two, Whitey kicks out and slides out of the ring out of surprise.
TH: BRB nearly surprised Whitey right there with this mime act, but Whitey kicked out in time.
JK: It'll take more than multiple personalities to throw the Wrestling Messiah off his game.
BRB remains on his side. Caleb and Whitey are confused, as is Alphonzo.
TH: What's wrong with BRB now?
JK: Maybe he's dead.
Whitey slides back in and prods BRB, who lightly shifts onto his back.
JK: Ha! BRB's asleep! Go for it Whitey!
TH: This is getting serious...
Whitey grins widely, then drops down for the pin.
TH: Michaels must help BRB from losing the match!
Alphonzo counts one, two, Michaels breaks the pin. Caleb is nearly through the ropes but returns to his corner. Whitey stands up and continues smirking at Michaels. He points down to BRB while shouting to Alphonzo.
JK: Count 'im, ref!
Alphonzo begins counting BRB as knocked out. He counts one, two, three...
TH: This has to be a first, ladies and gentlemen...
JK: Hardly the first for the Wrestling Messiah, TH...
Alphonzo counts four, five, six... Michaels crosses the ropes. Alphonzo tells him to return to his corner. Whitey takes the opportunity to push BRB to the outside.
JK: I think I can hear snoring from here.
Michaels returns to his corner while Whitey does a victory lap of sorts. Alphonzo starts counting out BRB at one, two, three... but BRB remains asleep. [/size][/color] TH: BRB went from a true force to be reckoned with, to a private eye trombonist, to, well, Jonathan Michaels, to... to... this "Narcoleptic... m i m e ..."Alphonzo counts four, five, six... BRB starts moving.TH: BRB's woken up!BRB sits up and looks around as Alphonzo counts seven. He stands up and looks into the ring on eight.TH: BRB's up just in time! Get back in the ring!Whitey sees BRB is back to his feet. BRB pretends to throw a grappling hook into the ring. He then pretends to climb along the rope as Alphonzo counts nine, when Whitey baseball slides his feet into BRB's face, knocking him down.JK: Good move, Whitey!Alphonzo counts ten as BRB shakes off the damage.*Old Classy Southern Music* Caleb crosses the ropes to celebrate victory with Whitey. JoNo facepalms himself.TH: What a travesty...MM: Here are your winners by count-out: Whitey Fats and Caleb... Fourchon!JK: The Wrestling Messiah and Caleb Fourchon demanded title shots for this win, and I they're gonna get it now.TH: I'm not sure if this match is a true testament to their- wait a minute King!As Whitey and Caleb head up the ramp, Evil M runs past them, waylaying Michaels with the Championship of Honor! He then picks up Michaels and throws him into the ring. As a disoriented Brawler tries to get up, M drops him with a boot, then rolls into the ring. He pulls Jono up, Do It For Yellow Jacket! As M taunts Jono, Hideo Nakatomi walks down the ramp, looking displeased. He enters the ring, walks up to Evil M and… The two hug! The crowd boos as Nakatomi orders M to pulls Jono up. With M holding Michaels, Hideo rears back and slaps him across the face! He then goes to the outside and grabs a chair and slides it into the ring. M picks Jono up, Journey to Hell on the chair! With Michaels knocked out and busted open, M holds up the Championship of Honor, as a smiling Hideo stands by, applauding. Hoss - I can’t believe what I’m seeing. Evil M and Hideo Nakatomi… aligned?!King - I’m as confused as you are Gorilla.Little Naitch V. “Smart” Mark PoindexterMichael Muffer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a fifteen minute time limit. First, making his WWCF debut, weighing 215 pounds and hailing from Silicon Valley: “Smart” Mark Poindexter! * Kirby Krackle’s “Great Lakes Avengers” plays and Mark rushes from the back and does a little bouncing dance gesturing and waving towards the audience, he then rushes down the ramp and slides under the bottom rope to climb a turnbuckle giving the crowd a double Vulcan 'Live Long and Prosper' before repeating it at each of the other turnbuckles.* Jesse King: Is this a joke? Tim Hoss: No, King, this is “Smart” Mark Poindexter: the newest star in the WWCF Galaxy. JK: Calling this guy a star is the most blatant case of false advertising in the history of professional wrestling. TH: Now, King, be nice. MM: And his opponent, from Las Vegas, Nevada, weighing 235 pounds: LLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEE NNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHH! *There is a huge pop as Naitch comes out to the “New Blackjacks Theme,” stylin and profilin in his fancy robe and making his way to the ring.* JK: And this dork’s first match is against Little Naitch?! Bwahahahahaha! TH: King, if Commissioner Morton didn’t think Poindexter has what it takes to compete- JK: He’s dead meat! Bwahahahahahaha! TH: King, haven’t you learned yet running down the wrestlers never works out well for you? “Smart” Mark may surprise us. You. I meant you. JK: Heh heh.... face it Gorilla: if “Smart” Mark really lived up to his name he’d lay down as soon as John Creed calls for the bell, then pack up his pocket protector and Doctor Who DVDs and head back to that job at Radio Shack. *Creed motions for both men to the center of the ring and goes over instructions. Poindexter offers Naitch his hand, but LN just stares him down. The bell rings and the two begin circling. Mark tries a double leg takedown on Naitch, but can’t get him off his feet. Little Naitch knees him in the stomach, then scoops him up for a body slam. He covers. One! Mark raises his arm. Naitch puts Poindexter in a wristlock and brings him to his feet. He transitions this to a hammerlock. Poindexter struggles and finally gets his elbow up and smacks LN in the face, breaking the hold. He runs the ropes and charges back, only to get caught in a back body drop. Naitch rolls him up. One! Kickout.* TH: Little Naitch is dominating so far. JK: I’m shocked-shocked! - by this turn of events. *Naitch tries to pull Poindexter up again, but when he reaches down “Smart” Mark catches him in a small package! Creed counts One! Two! Naitch kicks out. Both men stand and face each other. Naitch stares in disbelief while Poindexter snaps his suspenders proudly.* TH: Wow, Poindexter totally surprised Little Naitch with that small package. JK: Yeah, but he still escaped. Now all the kid’s done is made Little Naitch mad, which is never wise. *LN and Poindexter lock up, with Naitch dominating. He pushes Poindexter back to his (near right) corner, until Creed tells them to break it up. Both men let go. Naitch knees Poindexter in the gut and hammers him with a European uppercut. Another wrist lock, he whips him out of the corner and into the opposite (far left) ringpost, then charges. He hits a Stinger splash and then starts chopping at Poindexter’s chest, each blow accompanied by a “Wooo!” from the crowd.* JK: See, what did I tell you, Gorilla. Little Naitch probably could end this with a simple roll up, but after that stunt Poindexter pulled he’s going to make the kid suffer. TH: What stunt was that, King? Where Mark tried to win the match? *Little Naitch is again told to back off by referee John Creed. He complies, and showboats a little to the cheering crowd, giving Poindexter time to compose himself. “Smart” Mark cautiously comes out of the corner and approaches Little Naitch. LN goes for a clothesline but Poindexter ducks under his arm and catches Naitch in a crucifix pin attempt. One! Two! Naitch kicks out. “Smart” Mark rolls to his feet and hits the ropes, bouncing back and hitting a running neckbreaker on Little Naitch as he’s still getting to his feet. He mounts Naitch and starts hammering him with windmill punches until John Creed pulls him off. Naitch gets up, checking his nose for blood as once again “Smart” Mark snaps his suspenders.* JK: What-What’s happening here? TH: Looks like there’s plenty of fight left in “Smart” Mark Poindexter. *Naitch advances on Mark and bashes him with several stiff forearm shots, and then tries to body slam him. Poindexter wriggles out of it, pivots, and leaps back at Naitch feet first, putting him in a flying headscissors. After several rotations he flips Naitch to the mat. Bounding to his feet, he mounts the (far, right) turnbuckle and waits for Little Naitch to stand, then hits him with a missile dropkick. He hooks the leg and covers. One! Two! Naitch reaches out and grabs the bottom rope!* TH: “Smart” Mark almost pinning Little Naitch again, this time after as pretty a missle dropkick you’ll see in professional wrestling. JK: Naitch, stop screwing around and put this dweeb down. He’s making you look bad! TH: I’d say he’s making you look bad as well, King. *Mark pulls Little Naitch to his feet, but LN muscles out of his hold and headbutts him. He pushes Poindexter to the ropes and hip tosses him when he caroms back. He follows that up with a knee drop to the gut then goes for a cover. One! Two! Mark kicks out. Naitch shakes his head and drags Poindexter to his feet. Mark tries a clothesline but LN ducks under it and lifts him up for an atomic drop. “Smart” Mark goes flying and crashes face first onto the mat, writhing in agony. Naitch walks up behind him, grabs his leg, and drags him to the middle of the ring. Poindexter gets up on one foot and tries a enziguri but Naitch ducks under it, and once again Mark’s on the mat facedown. Naitch lifts his leg up and slams it down repeatedly, then locks in the half Boston Crab. Poindexter screams in pain but shakes his head when Creed asks if he quits.* TH: Little Naitch has that Half Crab locked in tight, but “Smart” Mark Poindexter refuses to give in! JK: Doesn’t matter, Gorilla. We all know what’s happening here. Naitch is just softening the kid up for the Figure Four, and there’s no way he’s going to survive that! *Naitch turns and transitions the Crab into a leg lace and flips Mark onto his back, pinning his shoulders. Creed counts. One! Two! Three!* TH: You were saying, Jesse? MM: Here is your winner, LLLIIITTTTTTLLLEEE NNNAAAIIITTTCCCHHH! *The crowd nears Naitch as Creed holds up his arm in victory. He grins and points out to the crowd. Meanwhile, “Smart” Mark slowly gets to his feet.* JK: Aw, I wanted to see Naitch snap the twerp’s leg in the Figure Four! TH: I guess Little Naitch decided to mix it up a little with that leg lace pin. Maybe it was to catch “Smart” Mark off guard. Maybe it was to show Poindexter knows a thing about catch as catch can style wrestling as well. Maybe he decided to take it easy on him. * “The New Blackjacks Theme” plays as LN mounts one of the ringposts and soaks in the fans’ approval. He sees Poindexter getting ready to leave the ring and jumps down to confront him. The two glare at each other, and then Naitch offers his hand. Poindexter accepts it.* JK: And now they’re shaking hands?! I’m going to be sick. TH: King, only you would be disgusted by a display of respect between competitors. I find it refreshing. “Smart” Mark Poindexter may not have won tonight, but he’s demonstrated the skill and tenacity a wrestler needs to make it in the WWCF. I foresee a very bright future for this young man. JK: I foresee lots of wedgies. Can we move on to the next match, please? *Ecstacy/One Mic* Cage King enters the ring in a fancy suit, with his IF Title on his shoulder So, everyone is wondering why i'm not wrestling tonight, well it's quite simple....I don't need to entertain you folks with my weekly "Charade" to have to make everyone watch this federation...
Oh, whats that you say? Thats not why everyone wants me out here? Then why the *bleep* do they want me out here?!?
Ah....WarGames
For anyone who was unfortunate to miss last weeks matchup Between Team Jackson and Team Lodi, heres what you missed....I finally came to my senses, attacked Jeremy, and costed my team my victory. It seems though, that my actions must be explained, after all, everything that happens within this life must have some sort of reason, so here it is.
Power.
Think about it, to spend these last couple of months feuding with such a pathetic loser like Jeremy Grave, its as if nobody can respect me for what I do. For weeks I was ridiculed for losing my title back in December to Johnathen Michaels. Then once I got it back, how does The WCWF repay me? By sticking me in the ring with a Friggin Rookie? I thought I could give the kid a break, but this guy is really a loser! Hell kid, The only reason you beat me that one, and I repeat ONE night, was because it was out of sheer luck. I'm not going to lose this title anytime soon and i'll be DAMNED if i'm gonna lose it to some f***ing rookie!
So, thats when you can say the wheels started turning for me, back before I won the title from JoNo again. I had a chat with Blood and Stone, and they made me realise that this power is a good power that everyone wants.....this power is the stuff that everybody asks for. They told me that with everyone writing me off as some regular guy with a gimmick, that I should do something big. So I did....I put JoNo in a Handicap match against them. Granted, the plan backfired on me, but the point is I was able to say i'm not some cookie cutter mother f***er from the streets. I've learned that if You want to be somebody, and you wanna go somewhere.....Well, you better wake up and pay attention.
Now, Jeremy, First off you should be thanking me BECAUSE I attacked you....Now your the poster child for those who have nothing going for them, but they still want to believe they have faith. You want to challenge me again for this title? Really? You want to face me in a sealed cage match? Really?? Jeremy, for one second, use whats left in your brain and think about this.
I beat your ass in a Cage I beat your ass in a match that you chose in the Ironman Match With the exception of One Match....How do you expect to overcome the odds
I'm telling everyone right now, this story isn't going to have a happy ending for him, or for anyone on this roster. They will know my name, and this will be the year that I break free from what some people call a typical steriotype. This is the beginning of my legacy....
.....And you can take THAT to the grave.CageKing drops the mic and leaves the ring Colt and Evil M V. “Damn Right” Jackson and SparksMICHAEL MUFFER:The following tag team contest is your main event, and is scheduled for one fall!*The arena goes dark* "You know that time in your life that single moment that defines exactly who you are? Well that only stings for a second"*Pyro erupts as "Choose Your Fate" by Escape The Fate starts playing* MICHAEL MUFFER: Introducing first! Hailing from Adelaide, Australia and weighing in at 250 lbs...COLT!*Colt emerges from the back in his hooded cloak and makes his way to the ring* MICHAEL MUFFER: And his partner...*"Man On The Silver Mountain" by Rainbow* MICHAEL MUFFER: Being accompanied to the ring by Mr. Hideo Nakatomi, he weighs in at 311 lbs and hails from Rockland, Massachusetts. He is the WWCF Champion Of Honor...EVIL M!*M appears on the ramp in his letterman jacket and jogs to the ring, the crowd booing him even louder than usual tonight. Hideo Nakatomi, a few steps behind him, gets an equal helping of verbal abuse from the fans* TIM HOSS: The WWCF Galaxy holds no love for these two after what they did to Jonathan Michaels earlier.MICHAEL MUFFER: And their opponents!*"Pull Me Under" by Dream Theatre* MICHAEL MUFFER: Introducing first: hailing from Sevierville, TN and weighing in at 216 lbs...SPARKS!*Sparks walks out and extends his palm, allowing his pet tarantula Scar to crawl from his shoulder and rest in his open hand. Sparks walks down the ramp, locking stares with Evil M the whole way. He places Scar in his glass case and rolls into the ring. He raises his arms, and a sparks shower down from the rafters and shoot from the ring posts. As the display finally ends and Sparks heads to his corner, the heels both attack him! Sparks tries to fight them off, but Colt and M together prove too much for him and he's down a moment later, with both of his opponents putting the boots to him!* TIM HOSS (sarcastically): How sportsmanlike.JESSE KING: Sportsmanship doesn't pay the bills, Gorilla!"Too Black, Too Strong... DAMN RIGHT!"[/i] *"Spit On Ya Face" by Lil Wayne feat. Kevin Rudolf* TIM HOSS: Here comes Jackson!*DR Jackson runs down the ramp like a shot and a second later is in the ring! Evil M lunges at him for a takedown, but Jackson hits him with a big knee to the face! As M groggily stumbles away, cradling his face in both hands, Jackson blasts him with a clothesline that takes him over the top rope! Jackson follows M to the floor, and referee Lloyd McFloyd officially starts the contest* "Damn Right" Jackson & Sparks vs. Evil M & Colt*As the two champions brawl on the outside, McFloyd inserts himself in between Colt and the downed Sparks* MCFLOYD: Out of the corner, Colt! And no more closed fists! *Colt backs away a few steps. Sparks does his best to take advantage of this by trying to get up, but a moment later Colt's got ahold of him and has irish whipped him into the opposite corner! Colt rushes in and nails Sparks with a stiff European uppercut!* TIM HOSS: Sparks not in an enviable position at the start of this match...JESSE KING: Neither is Evil M!*On the floor, Jackson is delivering shot after shot to M. M's repeatedly knocked down, and as soon as he's up is met by another hard punch from Jackson that sends him back to the floor! Suddenly, somehow, M catches Jackson's arm in mid-swing and applies a wristlock! M uses his leverage to bring Jackson to his knees, and before the World Champion can attempt a counter, M boots him in the face! Jackson is down on the outside!* JESSE KING: Go M! That's why he's the Champion Of Honor, ladie and gentlemen!*In the ring, Colt brings Sparks down with a snap suplex and goes for a pin* One! Two! Kickout! *Colt climbs the ropes and prepares to leap off with a missile dropkick, waiting for Sparks to get to his feet...as he stands, Sparks sees Colt on the top rope out of the corner of his eye and allows himself to fall backward into the ropes, causing Colt to lose his balance and get crotched!* TIM HOSS: Sparks just bought himself precious time!JESSE KING: When they say that top rope moves are high risk, that's one of the biggest risks they're talking about!*On the floor, M recovers sufficiently to pick Jackson up for a backbreaker--and brings him down SPINE FIRST ON THE STEEL RING BARRIER!* JESSE KING: Yes! I am LOVING this, Hoss!TIM HOSS: Really? I thought that you loved Jackson and hated Evil M! This is really surprising, Jess! Just when you think you know a guy...JESSE KING: Oh give it a rest.*Jackson falls over the barrier in the crowd and writhes in agony as M climbs the steps and gets in his corner, waiting for a tag from Colt* TIM HOSS: And once again, Sparks finds himself facing two opponents with no backup, although at least now he's worn one of them down somewhat.*Sparks looks over to his corner hoping to make a tag, but Jackson's not there. Breathing hard and clutching his chest where M and Colt delivered the most punishment, Sparks rests for a moment, then climbs to the top rope with Colt, applies a headlock, and BULLDOGS HIM BACK INTO THE RING!* TIM HOSS: My God, a bulldog from the top rope! Did you see that, King?!JESSE KING: Yeah, that actually was pretty cool. I hope Evil M forgives me for saying so...*Sparks covers* One! Two! Thre--EVIL M BREAKS IT UP! TIM HOSS: Sparks had it won right there!JESSE KING: Do you hear a bell, Gorilla? Do you hear Muffer? Then and ONLY then will anybody have it won.*McFloyd orders M out of the ring. Meanwhile, Jackson has finally made it back to his corner and has his arm out for Sparks to tag. Sparks and Colt are both fighting to stand. Colt is up first and whips Sparks toward his and M's corner, but Sparks reverses and Colt crashes into the turnbuckles! M tags himself in just as Sparks tags in Jackson!* TIM HOSS: Now business is about to pick up!*Jackson is through the ropes and immediately brings M down with a spear! Cover* One! Two! Kickout! *Jackson pulls M up and locks on an abdominal stretch. M cries out in pain!* MCFLOYD: Do you submit, Evil M? JESSE KING: Don't tap, M, not to this idiot!*M shakes his head, and Jackson cranks up the pressure eliciting another cry from the Champion Of Honor! M holds out, though, and finally counters into a hip toss! M speed-crawls over to Colt and tags him in* JESSE KING: YES!TIM HOSS: These two men who have battled over the World Heavyweight Championship of late, and will face off for it again soon enough, are now in the ring together for the first time tonight!*Colt runs at Jackson and knocks him back to the mat with There Will Be No Encore! Cover by Colt* One! Two! Kickout! *Colt hits Jackson with a scoop slam and tags M back in, who locks on a guillotine choke! Jackson struggles, though, finally managing to shift his weight and force both of M's shoulders onto the mat* TIM HOSS: Skillful counter by Jackson!One! Two! M releases the hold and throws Jackson off! *M applies a side headlock to Jackson and drags him into his and Colt's corner, where Colt tags in, climbs to the top rope, and nails Jackson with a flying forearm shot just as M lets him go! Jackson crashes to the mat and Colt goes for the Story On Page One--Jackson counters and suplexes Colt! With both men on the mat, McFloyd begins a ten count* TIM HOSS: Close call for DR Jackson there. One second slower and Colt would have hit him with that Story On Page One!*Colt and Jackson are dragging themselves to their respective corners...Jackson tags Sparks in, who charges across the ring and blasts Evil M with a big right hand, knocking him off the apron! Sparks turns and brings the groggy Colt down with a mat slam! He follows up by catapulting Colt into the turnbuckles! Colt bounces off and lands on his back. Sparks covers* One! Two! Kickout! TIM HOSS: And it looks like Sparks is going for the Spinnerette!*Sparks gets Colt up, but Colt manages to counter into a reverse DDT!* JESSE KING: C'mon Colt, tag Evil M, quick!*Evil M is indeed back on the apron, his hand extended for a tag. Colt goes for it, while Sparks shakes his head to try and clear it and then lunges to make the tag to the slightly fresher Jackson. Once again, both Jackson and M are tagged in at the same time. M meets Jackson with a chop and whips him into the corner! M follows up with more vicious chops in the corner and climbs to the second rope, raining punches down on Jackson. By the sixth punch, though, Jackson grabs M's legs and brings him off the second rope with a spinebuster!* TIM HOSS: Beautiful spinebuster by DR Jackson!JESSE KING: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and you have the most screwed up eyes of any beholder I've ever beheld! Everything Jackson does is terrible!TIM HOSS: In that case, you're about to witness a terrible High Attitude or High Anxiety!*As Jackson prepares to hoist M on his shoulders for one of his finishers, Hideo Nakatomi climbs onto the apron and goes to throw a handful of powder in Jackson's face! Jackson sees him in time, though, and knocks him to the floor!* JESSE KING: What a classless act by Jackson! Poor Hideo Nakatomi might be injured again after that!*This has bought Evil M precious seconds, though, and as Jackson turns around M kicks him in the gut, points to the hornet emblem on his singlet--DO IT FOR YELLOWJACKET! M covers* One! Two! Three! MICHAEL MUFFER: Here are your winners: Evil M and Colt!JESSE KING: Now THAT was beautiful, Gorilla!TIM HOSS: That's a matter of opinion, King, and without Hideo Nakatomi's interference I highly doubt that the match would have ended the same way.JESSE KING: Whatever you say, but look at what Evil M just did! We might be looking at the next WWCF World Heavyweight Champion, and the first every World Champion/Champion Of Honor!TIM HOSS: That would certainly be a dark day in WWCF history. For Jesse King, I'm Tim Hoss, and this has been Tuesday NiteRaw! Good night folks![/center] Credits: Gus Richlen, Evil M, Jeremy Grave, Mad Pirate Mulligan, BRB, Caleb Fourchon, Cageking, and Socko’s Brother
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