Could someone be just totally awesome, and give me a short recap of RAW, my stupid ass Directv was out and I thought tivo was recording it when in actuality it was recording a directv symbol for 2 and half hours...
from OWW
WOMENS TITLE MATCH: Mickie James defeated Trish Stratus to retain..
After the match, Melina Perez showed up to make fun of Trish proclaimed herself the new Top Diva on RAW..
Melina Perez suggested that Trish leave the ring, and Trish shoved Melina but Nitro stepped in to stop it..
Carlito Cool ran down and made the save before Melina & Nitro could do any damage to Trish Stratus..
BACKSTAGE: Trish Stratus & Carlito Cool..
Trish Stratus thanked Carlito Cool for helping her but he only ranted about being screwed out of the IC title..
Trish pointed at Carlito's shirt (Do you spit, or swallow) and whispered something naughty in Carlito's ear....
BACKSTAGE: Vince McMahon & Shane McMahon & The Spirit Squad..
Shane McMahon yelled at The Spirit Squad for not beating Degeneration X last night at Vengeance..
Shane McMahon said if you need something done you have to do it yourself -- DX vs The McMahon Men!
MATCH: Umaga w/Armando Alejandro Estrada defeated Kamala w/Kim Chee..
Umaga dominated Kamala and also bullied Kim Chee and gave him the running butt crunch in the corner..
Umaga gave Kamala a diving headbutt off the second rope and finished him off with the Samoan Spike!
IN-RING BULLcrap: Todd Grisham & Torrie Wilson unveiled the cover of the Divas Swimsuit issue..
IN THE RING: Edge & Lita..
Edge & Lita interrupted and told Todd Grisham & Torrie Wilson to hit the bricks before Lita beat her ass!
Edge talked about getting screwed at Vengeance and then quit RAW and walked out through the audience..
Edge stopped at a concession stand and confiscated all of Edge's shirts and walked out the front door..
INTERVIEW: Maria Kanellis & John Cena..
Maria brought in John Cena and asked him a serious question and he said "Maria.... you look good!"..
John Cena then talked about his chance to regain the WWE title and insulted Edge for walking out..
TAG MATCH: Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch defeated Val Venis & Viscera...
During the match, Charlie Haas came down and tried to apologize to Lilian Garcia sitting at ringside..
Viscera warned Charlie Haas to stay away from his Lady and then destroyed both Cade & Murdoch..
Meanwhile Charlie Haas tried to give Lilian Garcia a shoulder massage, which she resisted..
Charlie Haas got Viscera's attention and kissed Lilian, causing Viscera to get pinned!
USELESS BULLcrap: The insanely untalanted Brooke Hogan (Hulk Hogan's daughter) latest Music Video..
Randy Orton was shown watching Brooke Hogan on the monitor with a horny grin on his face..
Editor's Notes: I'm calling it now... Hulk Hogan vs Randy Orton at SummerSlam!
IN THE RING: DX (Triple H & Shawn Michaels) + Vince McMahon & Shane McMahon + The Spirit Squad..
Triple H came out dressed as Vince McMahon with a toupee complete with the famous McMahon strut (hilarious)..
Triple H (as Vince) said he and Shane would beat up DX but before he does that he's going to ramble incoherantly..
Triple H (as Vince) gave a speech making fun of himself (Vince) and made jokes about the XFL and loving cock..
Shawn Michaels came out next dressed in a Shane'O'Mac Jersey and did Shane's trademark bouncey dancing..
Shawn Michaels (as Shane) came out and called himself the product of Vince's semon (shown on his business card)..
Shawn Michaels (as Shane) said when his dad dies (hopefully soon) the entire McMahon empire will be all his!
Triple H (as Vince) said he was going to leave all his money to Stephanie and whoever it was who knocked her up!
Triple H (as Vince) said he has a bazooka but the guy who got Stephania pregnant most have a.. (Shane interrupts)..
Shawn Michaels (as Shane) stopped Triple H (as Vince) mid-sentance and said he was so excited he could dance!
Shawn Michaels (as Shane) danced around the ring some more until Triple H (as Vince) yelled "Stop It!"
Triple H (as Vince) said now he has to top Shane and played a video of Vince singing and dancing in the 80s..
The REAL Vince McMahon & Shane McMahon came out to the stage along with the Spirit Squad backing them up..
Suddenly the McMahons & The Spirit Squad were all sprayed with sewage and the crowd chanted "Holy crap!"..
Triple H adlibbed and stated that it was because of Shawn Michaels that it was "Holy" crap..
Triple H & Shawn Michaels finished by doing their "I've Got Two Words For Ya!" thing..
SATTELITE INTERVIEW: Ric Flair cut a promo on Mick Foley and vowed revenge for what happened at Vengeance..
BACKSTAGE: Paul Heyman expressed his concern with Rob Van Dam because tonight is under WWE Rules..
MATCH: Randy Orton defeated Kane..
Midway through the match, The Fake Kane showed up and Kane attacked him on the ramp but went back to the ring..
Kane tried to finish of Randy Orton but The Fake Kane distracted Kane again and Orton hit the RKO to win!
The Fake Kane entered the ring and the Real Kane attacked him and gave him a couple of choke-slams!
The Fake Kane retreated and crawled away on his hands and knees as the fans chanted "take his mask"..
Kane followed The Fake Kane up the ramp and chokeslammed the Imposter onto the metal stage!
Kane left and then came back to drag the Imposter backstage.................................
BACKSTAGE: Kane & The Fake Kane..
Kane dragged the Imposter backstage and ripped the mask off and tossed him out the back door!
FEATURE: They announced the 8 Finalists for the 2006 Diva Search..
WWE TITLE MATCH: Rob Van Dam vs John Cena ended in a No Contest..
Late in the match, John Cena had Rob Van Dan in the STF-U when Edge showed up and attacked both men!
Edge lifted Rob Van Dam's head and yelled "I'll see you tomorrow -- R. V. D.!"....................
And that's a wrap folks..