WWCF Monday NiteRaw, August 15th, 2011
"Gorilla" Tim Hoss: Welcome everyone, to Monday NiteRaw! I'm Tim Hoss here with Jesse King, and you're in for a treat tonight folks! The in-ring return of the Smokin' Vokoun, and he'll be facing the World Heavyweight Champion, Colt!
Jesse King: It was good riddance when Vokoun disappeared from this company! Now he's back and talking about how he should be a world champion! Have you ever heard anything so ridiculous?!
Hoss: I don't think it's ridiculous at all. As a matter of fact, I'd take more pride in this company with Vokoun holding the championship instead of Colt or Whitey Fats.
King: You have horrible taste, then. But here's the rest of what's in store: we have two number one contender's matches, and the final three qualifying matches for the BattleBowl!
Hoss: Indeed we do, Jess; we'll see whether Mad Pirate Mulligan or CageKing faces Caleb Fourchon for his Inter-Forum Championship, and whether Vincent Van Agony, Connor Mackenzie, or a recent addition to our roster in Jeremy Dupoe gets a shot at Ryan Blood's Championship Of Honor! But first, we have a word from the General of the Monkey Army!
*Cut to the General Store*
1....2.....3....4! What time is it?
Wind up monkey: It's General time!
What time is it?
Wind up monkey: It's General time!
Oh yeah it is time for the General Store!
*music and fanfare.*
Today folks we have something special. Hey kids, hate brushing your teeth? Is old toothpaste boring and dull? Well not anymore! Try new WWCF Superstar Toothpaste! No more old and boring toothpaste, this toothpaste has attitude! Buy some today!
Voice over guy: Warning. Do not eat WWCF Superstar Toothpaste. WWCF Superstar Toothpaste may cause lost of taste buds and excessive growing of the teeth. Do not use WWCF Superstar Toothpaste for anything else rather then toothpaste. Do not use on animals. May contain liquid nitrogen. Do not use WWCF Superstar Toothpaste near an open flame. Do not freeze. Use your hands to remove the WWCF Superstar Toothpaste, not a hammer, for striking the toothpaste may cause it to explode. Not approved by the ADA or the FDA. Use caution.
*Back to Hoss and King*
King: Uh...so buy some, I guess?
Hoss: Just don't use it to brush your teeth! Let's get to our first match, which is also a qualifier for the BattleBowl! For those of you newer fans, here's how it works; almost everbody currently on the roster has been assigned random tag team partners and pit against one another in tag matches. The winning tag teams advance to a battle royal at our upcoming BattleBowl pay-per-view, which is named for that battle royal! The winner of the battle royal gets a world title match.
King: Right, so even if you don't get along with your partner, like one of the teams in our next match, if you want a chance at the most important championship this company has to offer then you better be able to work with him!
The following contest is a Lethal Lottery match to determine participants in BattleBowl!
*Virus*
Introducing first, from Baltimore, Maryland, weighing in at 208 pounds, Ryan Blood!
A warped, almost demonic wedding march starts to play over the PA as Evil M slowly walks down the aisle.
With the history these two men have, how are they going to manage to work as a team here, Jess?
M rolls into the ring and immediately starts towards Blood. Referee John Creed has to get between the two, as Blood is ready to fight.
Geez, they’re already going after each other and their opponents haven’t even shown up yet!
*Been To Hell*
And their opponents…
Tyfo makes his way down the aisle…
*DOA*
The team of Tyfo and Jonathan Michaels!
At the sound of Michaels’ music, M’s head snaps back towards the entrance. He starts to head towards the ropes, only for both Creed and Blood to stop him. M shoves Creed aside, then downs his own partner with a throat thrust! He rolls out of the ring, where Jono is waiting for him!
Oh boy, here we go!
M and Michaels trade punches on the ramp, as Tyfo, Creed, and referee Will Alphonzo all try to get involved. M punches out Alphonzo, allowing Jono the chance to shoot for his knees! Michaels takes M down, but the two continue to fight it out on the floor, until their respective partners pull them apart!
The match hasn’t even started yet and already, it’s chaotic!
Tyfo guides Jono to the apron, but Michaels insists on starting the match. M tries to go in after him, but Blood rolls in first! Creed signals for the bell and we are finally underway!
Blood and Jono tie up, Jono goes behind Blood, Blood with a standing switch, then he takes Michaels to the mat! M paces the apron, wanting to go after Jono so bad. Blood applies a headlock on the mat, but Jono gets to his knees, then suplex’s Blood over! Jono back up and he and M engage in a staredown! Blood quickly grabs Jono and rolls him up!
1!
2!
Kickout!
Blood back up, as Jono charges, armdrag! Blood holds onto the arm and wrenches it, as Jono winces in pain. Blood pulls Michaels back, into a Code Red! Jono yells in pain, but is able to loop his arm across the bottom rope, forcing a break. Blood reluctantly breaks the hold, as Jono quickly crawls over to tag Tyfo.
And now we’ll get our first look at Tyfo in quite some time.
Tyfo and Blood lock up, Blood again tries to shoot behind him, only for Tyfo to block him with an elbow to the face! Blood staggers back, Tyfo with some more punches, then a snap suplex! Cover!
1!
Kickout!
Tyfo pulls Blood up and sends him into the corner.
On the apron, M stalks out Michaels, but Will Alphonzo and Spud Johnson run out to keep the two separated. Tyfo props Blood up on the top turnbuckle, then climbs up himself, SUPERPLEX!!!
Cover!
1!
2!
Kickout!
Tyfo pulls Blood up again and sends him into the ropes. As Blood bounces back, Tyfo misses with a lariat, allowing Blood come back off the other side with a flying forearm! Both men down!
On the apron, M continues to try and get at Michaels…
Evil M only has one thing on his mind Jess, and it’s not this match!
Tyfo crawls over to tag out, but Jono isn’t paying attention! Blood still laying in the center of the ring, Tyfo reaches up and slaps Michaels on the back, then throws him into the ring! M immediately tries to go after Michaels, but is stopped by all three refs! Michaels pulls Blood up, power slam! Cover!
1!
2!
Blood gets his shoulder up!
Michaels shoots Blood into the ropes, as he bounces back, back body drop! Blood lands inches from his corner! M reaches over, Blood has the presence of mind to make the tag! M shoves Blood aside and charges right at Michaels! The two men trade punches, as Creed tries to restore order. M takes over on Michaels with a knee to the midsection, then a backbreaker! Cover!
1!
Kickout!
M pulls Michaels up, neckbreaker! Cover!
1!
2!
Kickout!
M comes off the ropes, but the elbow drop misses! Jono rolls towards the ropes and tags Tyfo. Tyfo enters and stomps M across the back of the head! Tyfo pulls M up and goes for a piledriver, but M back drops his way out of it! Tyfo’s back up, M meets him with a throat thrust! Tyfo staggers back, M catches him by the throat, Chokeslam! Jono charges in after M, but M tosses him over the top rope to the floor! M grabs Tyfo and props his feet on the second rope…
Elevated Spike DDT! Cover!
1!
2!
Blood sees Jono trying to get up and dives over the ropes onto him!
3!
Here are your winners, Evil M and Ryan Blood!
M and Blood advance to Battle Bowl!
Creed tries to raise M’s arm, but M shoves him aside and rolls to the outside after Jono! He pulls him up by the throat and tosses him into the crowd barrier! Blood nails M with a double sledge blow across the back, but M turns and grabs Blood by the throat, Chokeslam! He turns back to Jono, who meets him with the Fade to Black! M goes right down!
Jono just knocked M out! I didn’t anything could do that!
Jono heads up the ramp, but as he does, M sits up, a sinister grin on his face! Jono’s eyes go wide as M comes right after him! The two brawl on the ramp, as referees and officials try to break the two apart.
Looks like I spoke too soon; he's right back up! Evil M seems to be fueled by hatred and the desire for revenge, and I'm not sure if anything short of his death or the murder of Jonathan Michaels can put an end to it!
I don't blame him!
Let's not get into this again! We'll be right back, fans!
*Back from commercial...*
Tim Hoss: Welcome back, ladies and gentleman. Later tonight we will see an explosive main event. The World Heavyweight Champion Colt will take on in a non title match none other than....Smokin Vokoun. You heard me right fans....Smoken Vokoun is making his return to the WWCF after a several month absence. Now, the reasons for his departure is something that we shouldn't really discuss on this show, considering it's such a personal matter. However, Smoken Vokoun early today recorded some comments on this huge Main Event. Lets go to the film.
We cut to Smoken Vokoun sitting indian style. In a empty locker room
Vokoun: As the clock ticks down to the hours....the minutes....the seconds...to the biggest match of my life. The match that...could determine my own future. Oh not just my wrestling future....BUT THE FUTURE OF MY OWN DAMN LIFE!!!! You see Colt....I wonder what's going on in your little mind. Oh sure, you have a title defense against the biggest pond scum on the planet, Whitey Fats on PPV soon and I know that's more important right now... BUT YOU BETTER NOT BE LOOKING PAST ME!!!! If you, Colt are the champion that I think you are, you won't look past me. All I want your best tonight...BECAUSE I'M DAMN SURE GONNA MY F***IN' A GAME!!!!
Colt....I'm gonna be perfectly honest...I know I can't match you hold for hold, move for move. Not many people can. There's only one thing I'm good at AND THAT'S FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE!!! I'm gonna fight and scratch and claw for everything tonight. Because....what ya see if what ya get with Smoken Vokoun. I'm not fancy, I'm not flashy. I speak bluntly and direct. AND I WOULDN'T CHANGE ANYTHING ABOUT ME...NOT TO YOU COLT AND NOT FOR ANYONE ELSE.....I'M SMOKEN VOKOUN AND I'M DAMN SURE NOT JOKIN'!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hoss: Folks that's as intense as we've ever seen Ol' Smokey. I hope Colt was watching that...and I hope he's not looking past Smokin Vokoun here tonight...or else we could see the shocker of the year. LET'S GO TO MICHAEL MUFFER TO OUR NEXT MATCHUP!!!!
Muffer: The following triple threat contest is scheduled for one fall, and the winner will become the #1 contender for the Championship Of Honor!
*The lights go out*
*"No World For Tomorrow"*
Muffer: Introducing first! Hailing from Nakatomi HQ and weighing in at 195 lbs...VINCENT VAN AGONY!
*A red spotlight illuminates ViVA on the ramp. As the chorus of the song starts, he charges down to the ring and slides under the bottom rope. He stretches in preparation for the upcoming contest*
Muffer: His first opponent!
*The lights go out again, the sound of a roaring dragon plays, followed by "War"*
Muffer: Hailing from Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada, and weighing in at 225 lbs...THE CANADIAN DRAGON, CONNOR MACKENZIE!
*The lights come back on, revealing Connor at the top of the ramp, his face partially obscured by his hood. He makes his way down to the ring, high fiving the fans but not taking his eyes off of ViVA as the two engage in a staredown*
Hoss: These two have been engaging in no small amount of trash talk, and both of them are no doubt eager to kick each other's ass!
King: Yeah, but it's not just the two of them, remember...
*Connor climbs onto the apron and goes to the corner, surveying the crowd. He pushes his hood back as the chorus hits and lets out a yell before dropping back to ringside and taking off his tabard, handing it to a kid in the front row and then rolling into the ring*
Muffer: Their opponent!
*"Devil's Lullaby"*
Muffer: Hailing from Arkham, Massachusetts, and weighing in at 230 lbs...JEREMY DUPOE!
*The entrance is enguled in fog, which Dupoe emerges from, reading a book as he walks to the ring. He slams the book shut and starts walking to ring with the book in hand, shooting disgusted looks at the crowd. He sneaks one last at look the book before setting it by the turnbuckle and climbing the stairs. He enters the ring through the ropes, removes his robe, gets on the turnbuckle and shakes his head disapprovingly at the crowd*
Hoss: This is our first look at Jeremy Dupoe in the ring. This is also his first look at the WWCF Galaxy, whom he doesn't seem too impressed with.
King: I'm not, either.
*Referee Lloyd McFloyd calls for the bell and the match begins*
Vincent Van Agony vs. Connor Mackenzie vs. Jeremy Dupoe
Championship Of Honor #1 contender's match
*Connor starts out by hitting ViVA with a backhand chop! ViVA retaliates with a shoot kick to Connor's chest, and Dupoe goes for a rollup on ViVA!*
One!
Two!
Kickout!
*Dupoe is up just in time for Dupoe to get caught by an armdrag from Connor! ViVA catches the Canadian Dragon with a lungblower, however, sending Connor to the mat. ViVA looks back and forth between Connor and Dupoe for an instant before going after Dupoe to make sure he doesn't break up any pin or submission attempts. ViVA goes for a double leg takedown, but Dupoe leapfrogs over him and catches him by an arm to shoot him into the ropes, bringing ViVA down with a Thesz press on the rebound and raining punches down on him!*
Hoss: Dupoe just a little bit quicker than Van Agony that time.
King: In my professional opinion this man has promise. So he's crazy; he'll fit right in around here!
*ViVA manages to roll Dupoe over and hit him with his own barrage of punches, as Lloyd McFloyd admonishes both men for the closed fists to complete indifference. Connor runs over and drops an elbow on ViVA, before pulling him up and throwing him over the top rope! As ViVA lands in a heap on the outside, Connor slingshots over the top rope and crashes onto him with a cross body!*
Hoss: Very nice slingshot cross body there from the Canadian Dragon!
King: Hmph.
*Seeing both his opponents laying on the outside, Dupoe picks himself up and climbs through the ropes, where he whips Connor into the steel barricade!*
King: That's it, Jeremy, teach that jackass a lesson!
*Dupoe whips ViVA into the apron, following up by kicking him in the gut for good measure before rolling him back in*
Hoss: Right now, the newcomer Jeremy Dupoe has neutralized both of his opponents, and has the opportunity to--yes, it looks like he's setting up for the Miskatonic Michinoku Driver! I've seen him use this in non-televised matches, and it's usually a match ENDER!
King: I could go for a Miskatonic right about now! Tasty drink, but packs a wallop.
Hoss: No, it's not a drink, it's--never mind, he's going for it!
*Dupoe goes for the Miskatonic Michinoku Driver, but ViVA wriggles free, catches Dupoe with a hammerlock--Devil Lock DDT!*
Hoss: Bah gawd, Devil Lock DDT from Vincent Van Agony! And suddenly Jeremy Dupoe's momentum comes crashing to a halt!
*Connor rolls back into the ring and, with his pick of victims, chooses to lock the Dragon's Grip onto Dupoe!*
King: What an opportunistic bastard, letting ViVA do all the work and then trying to steal a win!
Hoss: Oh come on! So he locked you in a closet with some penis pumps! Get over it!
King: NEVER!
*The seconds tick by as Connor tries to make Dupoe tap while ViVA tries to shake away the cobwebs and get back into the match. Just when it seems like Dupoe is about to submit, ViVA charges forward and floors Connor with a Busaiku knee kick!*
Hoss: ViVA damn near took Mackenzie's head off just now!
King: Hit him harder next time, ViVA!
*ViVA goes for The Long Kiss Goodnight on Dupoe, but the newcomer manages to get ahold of the top rope and hang on, preventing ViVA from hitting the move and causing ViVA to fall to the mat! As ViVA gets back up, he's hit by a stiff punch from Dupoe! ViVA responds with a punch of his own! The two of them trade shots, then both notice Connor getting back up, and both punch him in the face, sending him back down!*
Hoss: A very temporary truce between the two.
King: And stay down, you scaly-eyed punk.
*Dupoe is soon dazed by a flurry of shots from ViVA, who suddenly screams "FOR HIDEOOOO!" and hits the Long Kiss Goodnight!*
One!
Two!
Thr--Connor dives at ViVA and nails him with a double axe handle!
Hoss: Vincent Van Agony apparently dedicating what was almost a victory to the man he feels indebted to, the late Hideo Nakatomi.
King: Damn it Mackenzie, you just ruined ViVA's tribute to Hideo! You bastard!
*ViVA gets up and goes for a uranage slam on Connor, but Connor blocks it and turns it into an STO on ViVA! Connor whips ViVA into the corner and climbs to the second rope to start hitting ViVA with punches as the WWCF Galaxy counts along, but as Connor's between #5 and #6 ViVA summons the energy to grab both his legs and plant him with a devastating spinebuster!*
Hoss: Spinebuster from Vincent Van Agony on Connor Mackenzie!
King: Maybe now he'll stay down.
*Dupoe is up by now and surveys the damage. He makes his way over to Connor, picks him up, powerbomb! Dupoe rolls Connor onto the apron and climbs through the ropes to join him. He picks Connor up to hit the Scrambler, first holding him upside down for several seconds to let all the blood rush to Connor's head--Dupoe hits it! Dupoe rolls him back under the ropes and covers*
One!
Two!
Thr--ViVA pulls Dupoe off!
Hoss: That move's called The Scrambler, and it's absolutely sick, much like Dupoe himself some might say! Letting all the blood rush to the man's head, then driving him cranium-first onto that steel ring frame...
King: Couldn't happen to a nicer guy!
*ViVA throws Dupoe to the outside and then locks the Bedtime Story onto Connor!*
King: Yes! Yes! Break that so-called dragon in half!
Hoss: This is the move that ViVA used to defeat LodiRulz, the King Of WrestleCrap, in a recent contest! If Connor can't get out of this quick, and if Dupoe doesn't bail him out, I don't like his chances!
*Connor tries to get to the ropes, but is making minimal progress while clearly being in maximum pain! Connor raises a hand, seems about to tap--fortunately for him, Dupoe gets his bearings back in the ring before he taps, stomping ViVA in the head! Dupoe follows up by nailing ViVA with a German suplex, and then a piledriver! Dupoe goes for a cover*
One!
Two!
Kickout!
*Dupoe goes for the Miskatonic Michinoku Driver again, but this time he's stopped by a dropkick from Connor that sends both he and ViVA crashing down! Connor pulls Dupoe up and hits the Spinning Impaler, and then he turns his attention to ViVA--he climbs to the top rope and catches the rising Vincent Van Agony with Flight Of The Dragon!*
One!
Two!
Three!
Michael Muffer: Here is your winner and number one contender for the Championship Of Honor, CONNOR MACKENZIE!
Hoss: He did it! Connor Mackenzie, The Canadian Dragon, has just pinned a World WrestleCrap Federation legend in Vincent Van Agony, and is advancing to face Ryan Blood!
King: Ugh, there was a 66% chance of somebody deserving getting that shot, and we end up with this chode. No matter what happens in that match, the Championship Of Honor is going to be around the waist of a disgrace to this company and this business!
Hoss: Well, now you know how I feel, looking ahead to Colt defending his World Heavyweight Championship against Whitey Fats.
King: Hey, are you disrespecting the CEO of the World WrestleCrap Federation, and the head of Whitey Inc?!
Hoss: Oh, perish the thought. Listen--
The Niteraw broadcast is interrupted by static, which eventually clears to reveal The Mountain King in some dark alley. Lenore appears to be operating the camera once again. TMK seems very on edge, scratching wildly and being very expressive with his body language when talking.
So last week the holier-than-thou brigade were forced to eat their putrid words when I pulled off the greatest hoax in WWCF history. It made me sick to my stomach to hear the faux sympathy on offer from people like Tim Hoss saying that I needed help. It made me sick to my stomach to hear the cries of outrage, people saying that I was a disgrace to the business. Some people have even called me a coward...well this "coward" qualified to the Battle Bowl without breaking a sweat and THIS "COWARD" will be the victor of the battle royal match and go on to win your precious little title. I told you all that there is a method to this MADNESS but evidently you don't listen, you don't pay attention. You're just like my parents. Just like my drunken mother who routinely forgot to pick me up from school meaning I had to deal with the toughest kids in the neighbourhood, who took pleasure in tormenting me. Or just like my dad who, for all his money and success, couldn't afford the time for a phone call to inform me when my uncle was killed in a car accident. They overlook me and it seems that the WWCF isn't much different. I'm not even booked on the show tonight, which means I don't get my win bonus, which means I lose out on money which is rightfully mine. But it's not a big deal, I guess...because you will pay attention to me soon...
[/color]
TMK lifts up a replica WWCF World Championship belt.You see this belt? This belt is what everyone strives to attain. This belt is what everyone obsesses over. This belt says that your the best in the world and this belt...MEANS ABSOLUTELY JACK SHIT TO ME!TMK throws the belt to the floor.BECAUSE I DON'T NEED A f***ING GOLD BELT TO TELL ME THAT I'M THE BEST! Children can buy replicas of this title, with all its lineage and history, for just $300 to wave around at live events, yet wrestlers still devote their entire careers to earning the right to call themselves champion...why? Is your career worth that little? Is your life worth that little? Well I've got news for you, mine isn't.TMK breathes deeply and composes himself, wiping his face. He reaches down and lifts the replica title belt back up.The workers in this company are blinded by the idea that this belt, this material possession, is the most important thing in the world...but not me. My lifestyle gives me the unique ability to see things from a new perspective and that is why that after I win the Battlebowl and go on to Gookermania to win the WWCF championship...I'm not going to celebrate MY victory in MY own special way because I'm going to take this title belt and I'm going to watch it burn. And you can say I'm doing this to save the other wrestlers from their own selfish greed. You can say I'm doing it to piss on the legacy of the other champions before me. You can even say I'm doing it just to piss off the entire company in general. You can say what you want but only those who've paid attention, and only those with that unique perspective on life, will be able to fully comprehend the meaning behind my actions. Yes this decision will impact my career and even help me transcend into greatness but all those reasons are just a bonus. The real purpose is to embrace a jilted nation and to educate a privileged one.TMK looks at the replica belt while walking down the alley. He comes to a burning barrel which he throws the belt into. The fire crackles as the belt begins to burn and melt.Long live The Mountain King.[/color]
The belt continues to burn as the camera lingers on it briefly, before the regular Niteraw feed returns.Tim Hoss: Are we back? Good. I don't know how The Mountain King keeps doing that, but I wish he'd just ask for promo time! Coming up next, we expect this one to be big, bruising and brutal, former WWCF World Champion “Damn Right” Jackson, takes on one of our BattleBowl qualifiers, The Punisher, Frank Castle.Jesse King: Great, a goon versus a loon. Are we actually going to see any wrestling here Hoss, or just a fight? I mean, this is a wrestling show after all.TH: I’ve got a feeling you’re going to be disappointed if you’re after some classic wrestling in this one Jesse, Jackson is all power, perhaps one of the strongest men in the business, but he’s up against a sadistic mind, and that mind looks increasingly like it’s becoming unhinged. Folks, it’s going to be entertaining, let’s go to Michael Muffer.Michael Muffer: Ladies and gentlemen, our next contest is set for one fall…*Groove Addicts - The Gateway begins, Frank Castle appears at the top of the stage. Even more angry than usual, he quickly paces to the ring. He steps into the ring, placing his bag in the corner of the ring. A ring attendant starts to take it away - Castle leaps out of the ring and grabs him by the shirt, forcing him to return it to the corner, then forcefully shoving the attendant to the floor. The referee warns Castle, who scowls back as he removes his jacket and places it over the ringpost.
MM: Introducing first, From New York, weighing 265 pounds, he is Frank Castle, The Punisher!*Mixed reaction*
MM: And his opponent…*
"Too Black…Too Strong…Damn Right!"echoes through the arena. All of the Lights by Kanye West begins. “Damn Right” Jackson appears to rapturous cheers at the top of the ramp. With a broad smile on his face, Jackson unbuttons his jacket and makes his way to the ring, and pauses at ringside, looking up through his shades at Castle. He nods to himself as Castle stands in the ring, fists clenched, staring at his opponent.*
MM: From West Philly, weighing 305 pounds, “Damn Right” Jackson!*Jackson walks round to the timekeeper’s table, and takes a mic into the ring with him.
TH: What’s Jackson doing?JK: Might be going to serenade you Hoss, might be your lucky night.TH: Will you stop? Let’s just listen to the guy.DR: Frank, me and you, we got a lot in common. I’m gonna level with you. I know you’re mad, I know you’re angry, but I hate Whitey Fats too. Whatever happens tonight, I respect you, and what you’re going to do.TH: That’s some good ol’ fashioned sportsmanship from Jackson.*Jackson extends his hand to shake Castle’s. Castle stares at it for a couple of minutes, then belts Jackson hard across the face with a hard right hand*
TH: That’s sickening! He was offered the hand of friendship and he turned it down, that’s just uncalled for.JK: Maybe The Punisher is finally growing some balls - that was a great move!Castle lays into Jackson with kicks, forcing him out of the ring. Jackson slumps to ringside and slowly gets to his feet as Castle steps through the ropes. He leaps of the apron and brings the tip of his elbow down on Jackson’s forehead, stunning the big man. The ref begins the count as Castle continues his assault, laying into Jackson with punches, uppercuts and forearm blows. He slams Jackson’s head into the steps, and whips him into the ring post, where Jackson’s head rebounds with a sickening thud. Castle rolls Jackson back into the ring on the count of six.
JK: I think he’s flipped Hoss.TH: You might be right King, that was a reprehensible act before the bell. Castle was starting to get a lot of sympathy from people prior to this match after the last few weeks, but I think a lot of that is going to disappear after tonight.JK: Maybe that’ll mean he actually starts being this hardcore nutcase he’s been threatening, if it does, I’ll back the guy all the way.Castle picks Jackson up and floors him with a Russian Leg Sweep and goes for the cover.
1
2
Jackson powers out.
TH: Looks like Jackson isn’t quite done yet.JK: But he’s on the backfoot - look.Jackson stands up and takes a wild swing at Castle, who ducks and brings his knee up into Jackson’s gut, doubling him over. Castle grabs Jackson’s Mohawk and drives his knee into his face, busting open Jackson’s nose. Hauling him up, He drives “Damn Right” into the canvas with a vicious DDT. Boos ring out as Castle gets to his feet. He scowls at the crowd and goes back to his assault.
JK: I think this guy is finally catching on that you can’t afford to have any restraint when you’re in that ring.TH: Five minutes ago you were calling him a loon and were wishing a wrestling match was in it’s place - now you’re praising him! I think you’re worse than him! I think he’s going to far.JK: If it’s going to get results, what the Hell is wrong with that?TH: It’s about doing the right thing, King, I think Castle’s just gone past that.Castle picks Jackson up and whips him off the ropes. Delivering a big boot, Castle again leaps on top of Jackson and starts pummelling his face. He pulls Damn Right up, and positions him to take the Endgame. Castle winds up the big right hand, only for Jackson to block it by catch the fist as it’s heading towards his face. He scowls back at Castle as the two lock in hatred filled gazes. Jackson begins to unload with rights and lefts to Castle’s jaw, staggering him. Castle fights back but Jackson is angry, knocking him back to the corner with a powerful slug to the face. Jackson whips Castle to the opposite corner and follows up with a shoulder block to the stomach. Castle staggers out of the corner, and Jackson kicks him in the gut, then delivers a long delayed vertical suplex, slamming Castle down to the canvass. Jackson goes for the cover.
1
2
Castle gets a shoulder up.
TH: He’s awakened the sleeping giant now, we know when Jackson gets going his strength can be unmatched.JK: But I think you’re dealing with a man who has thrown caution to the wind and will do anything now to get what he wants. Hey, if my wife was that hot, I’d want her ass back too!TH: Her ass, what about the rest of her?JK: Well that ain’t too shabby either - maybe me and Castle could have her on a timeshare?TH: Go in there and tell him that.JK: Oh after you Hoss, I want some teeth left to eat my breakfast with tomorrow.Castle stuns Jackson with an uppercut to the jaw, dropping him to one knee. Castle moves behind and locks in a chinlock that is obviously a choke. The referee doesn’t notice though, and Jackson starts to fade. At the point of him passing out though, the referee sees the chokehold, and forces Castle to break. The Punisher looms over him and argues the point, threatening the official. The ref warns him he’ll be disqualified, but this gives Jackson the chance to clear his head. Shaking off the cobwebs, he charges, and levels Castle with a huge lariat as he turns to face him. Jackson roars in triumph, and hauls Castle up into a brutal gut wrench suplex.
TH: Uh-oh, I think he’s mad King.JK: He’s also stupid, he’s angry, and he’s going to make a mistake.TH: You said that about The Punisher two weeks ago!JK: It’s a commentator’s prerogative to change their mind. You should do it more often Hoss, might make you a better broadcast journalist.Jackson forgoes the cover, picking Castle up into a Gorilla Press Slam, pressing him five times over his head and throwing him to the mat. Castle arches his back in pain as Jackson makes the cover.
1
2
Castle barely kicks out
TH: That was very, very close - I think he’s got Castle’s number.JK: I wish I had his wife’s number.TH: Well you’re on good terms with Whitey Fats aren’t you, couldn’t you call him up and ask for an afternoon in her company?JK: How dare you, I’m not that type of journalist. TH: I think you’re just scared in case that guy over there finds out you’d invited her to try the commentary position.JK: Hoss, if that was joke I’m actually glad to find out you have a sense of humour. God knows you’ve been searching for it for long enough.Jackson picks Castle up into a fall away slam, following it up with punches of his own to Castle’s face. The Punisher pushes Jackson off him, but Dam Right retaliates with a big shoulder block, then lifts Castle up into a Giant Throw. Castle thuds off the mat, as Jackson grabs him by the arm and whips him powerfully to the turnbuckle. Castle hits stomach first and flies over the top rope, but in doing so, grabs his bag and takes it with him. Jackson waits over the opposite corner of the ring for a spear as Castle begins to crawl back into the ring. The crowd begins to cheer excitedly as Jackson gets ready to hit his finisher.
TH: This is it, it’s gonna be all over when Jackson hits this!JK: I’m not so sure Hoss, I know something you don’t know..TH: What do you mean?JK: Just watch…Jackson charges, but Castle was playing possum. He sidesteps and smacks Jackson with a big right hand to the side of his head. The audible crack echoes throughout the arena.
TH: What the Hell was that?JK: That, my dear broadcast colleague, is what you call a secret weapon.Castle makes the cover.
1
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Michael Muffer: Here is your winner, Frank Castle, The Punisher!TH: I really don’t know what happened there folks, it looked like Jackson had this one won. He’d survived that brutal onslaught at the start of the match, came back with some big power moves, and looked to have Castle on the ropes.JK: Well let me enlighten you Hoss, take a look at your replay.The replay shows Castle flying over the top rope and out of the ring as a result of Jackson’s Irish whip, grabbing his bag as he does so. While Jackson whips the crowd up, Castle pulls the black glove off his right hand and replaces it with one he pulls out of his bag. He still has it on his hand as he punches Jackson in the head.
TH: What’s in that glove Jesse?JK: I have no idea, but I’m betting it wasn’t cotton wool.Castle is putting his coat back on as the referee looks over the motionless Jackson. The ref motions EMT’s to come to the ring and bring a stretcher. Castle starts to leave the ring, but looks over as they move Jackson onto a stretcher. He reaches into his bag and pulls out an aluminium baseball bat. He drops the bag and whacks the first EMT with it, then goes for Jackson as he lies on the stretcher.
TH: My God, somebody stop this man, he’s gone nuts!JK: He’s sending a message Hoss, this isn’t for Damn Right Jackson, this is for Whitey Fats, this is for Finn McHaggis, this is for his wife. Jackson slumps off the stretcher after being battered by Castle, who is greeted with a chorus of boos as he walks back up the ramp, security guards appear - too late - but step away from Castle as he walks backstage.
TH: I think this is going to have consequences for Castle further down the line, the WWCF have to draw the line with this guy somewhere.JK: I think tonight he showed people that he will go as far as possible to get revenge, and he doesn’t care who he hurts to get it.TH: God help us all.JK: I think God’s gonna sit this one out Hoss..Battle Bowl Qualifier Handicap Match: M.O.P. and Finn McHaggis versus Seth DrakinMM: The following match will be a Handicap Match and the winner will go on to enter the Battle Bowl!*Days of the Phoenix - AFI*
*MOP walks down to the ring after a whitey pyrotechnical display.*
MM: Now entering the ring, hailing from Bergen County, New Jersey; weighing 240lbs: M... O... P!*MOP rolls into the ring under the ropes. He climbs a turnbuckle and throws up his hand gesture.*
Hoss: It's great to see MOP back in the World WrestleCrap Federation!MM: And his partner...*Warrior's Code - Dropkick Murphy*
*Finn McHaggis raises his fist into the air as green fireworks shoot into the air.*
King: Finn McHaggis has spent most of his time in the WWCF as a thorn in Frank Castle's side, and this is his chance to get into the BattleBowl and treat the Punisher to yet another setback!*Finn lowers his fist and heads for the ring.*
MM: Now entering the ring: hailing from the Bronx, New York; and weighing 245lbs: He is "the Irish Nightmare": Finn... Mc... Haggis!*Finn climbs into the ring and climbs onto a turnbuckle to raise his fist again before removing his shirt and jacket.*
MM: And their opponent...*All Over Me - Drowning Pool*
*Seth Drakin walks down the ramp, scowling all along the way.*
MM: Now entering the ring: hailing from Stafford, Virginia; and weighing 270lbs; "The Archangel..." Seth... Drakin!Hoss: Seth Drakin may be on a mission, but he's still human, and as such the odds don't favour him in this contest.King: Don't make excuses for him, Gorilla! If he loses, it's because he's a loser!*Seth climbs into the ring and walks to the center, raising his arms...*
King: Ugh, I hate this part.*Seth suddenly lowers his arms; lightning strikes all four turnbuckles.*
*Referee Jake Kwon starts the match. Finn takes the initiative while MOP gets in the corner. Seth keeps his distance, but they lock up...*
Hoss: Collar and elbow tie up by Seth and Finn...*Seth whips Finn to the ropes and then takes him down with a clothesline on the rebound.*
Hoss: And Drakin sends McHaggis to the mat with one hell of a stiff clothesline!King: I don't know why he's even trying. He should just lie down and let them pin him.*Finn quickly recovers and gets back up. Seth is ready with a slap to the face, but Finn leaps up and takes him down with a Lou Thesz press, mounting Seth and pounding him in the face...*
Hoss: Finn McHaggis paying back that slap with some devastating rights and lefts!King: Get 'im, Finn!*Seth uses his body weight to roll over and stand up. Finn backs away and quickly gets up as well.*
Hoss: This may be a good time for a tag.King: Nonsense. Finn's got this!*Finn charges for Seth, who catches Finn with an Irish whip, but he pulls Finn back, twists around, and brings Finn's arm down onto his shoulder.*
Hoss: Don't you wish that you could pull the words back into your mouth right after saying them sometimes, King?King: Shut up.*Finn takes a moment to wince, but he is quick to retaliate with a kick to Seth's belly, bending him over...*
King: See? I was right!*Finn dropsaults the bent over Seth, sending him onto his back on the mat.*
Hoss: Beautiful dropsault from McHaggis!King: I bet Seth's seeing a whole galaxy of stars right about now.*Finn kips up, then advances on Drakin to mount him for more punching, but Drakin takes Finn down with a drop toe hold.*
Hoss: If he was, they've cleared up!King: You know what I think Finn should do? He should tag MOP in.Hoss: I swear that idea sounds familiar...*Seth gets up, clutching one of Finn's feet. He kicks Finn's leg in the back of the knee, then knee drops the leg back to the mat...*
Hoss: Seth working over the leg of Finn McHaggis, possibly setting up for a submission hold later on.*Finn kicks Seth away and then gets up with a mild limp...*
King: Not gonna happen, Drakin!*Finn tags in MOP, who crosses the ropes as Seth recovers from the kick to the face.*
Hoss: And finally MOP is into this match!King: I hope he doesn't have any ring rust, because I want to see Seth's ass kicked!*MOP puts up a wrestling pose, getting a feel for Seth before engaging him. Seth does the same...*
Hoss: Both competitors taking each other's measure...*MOP locks up with Seth; He takes Seth by the hand and wrenches it with a backflip and then takes Seth down with a legsweep that slams Seth facefirst onto the mat.*
Hoss: Side Russian leg sweep from MOP!*MOP climbs onto Seth's back, locks in a full nelson, and wrenches back.*
Hoss: Drakin's vertebrae are being bent in ways nature did not intend!King: But he's not wrestling nature, he's wrestling MOP, and MOP does intend!*Seth reaches a rope with his foot; MOP releases him.*
Hoss: Seth's forced his opponent to break the hold, but he's still not in a good position..King: So far MOP is looking great in his WWCF return!*Seth gets up, but MOP is ready for him with a kick to the ribs. Seth rolls out of the ring onto the arena floor outside.*
King: Look at that coward, trying to get away from MOP!Hoss: Of course if that was Evil M or Colt or Whitey, you'd say that they were being smart.King: Of course! Because they aren't cowards, like that coward over there is a cowardly coward!*Seth recovers outside while Referee Kwon counts him out. MOP looks to Finn, who holds his hand out to tag in...*
Hoss: Finn wants to dish out some punishment on Seth while he's at his most vulnerable so far, apparently.*MOP climbs out of the ring to get Seth as Referee Kwon counts 2. Finn looks disappointed, a little miffed.*
Hoss: I guess MOP prefers to do it himself. One has to wonder how he feels about his partner; he's been mostly silent since coming back.King: Hey, I wouldn't be able to resist the temptation to kick Drakin while he was down either!*MOP helps Seth to his feet and then rolls him into the ring, sliding in after him as Seth gets up.*
Hoss: This could be bad news for MOP, as Seth seems to be coming around...*Seth slaps MOP upside the head, then kicks him in the stomach, bending him over...*
King: Oh no!*Seth grabs MOP's back and rams his knees into MOP's face, knocking him to the ground.*
Hoss: Bah gawd, what a hard knee strike to the face!King: C'mon MOP!*Seth leg drops MOP's arm, then locks in an armbar.*
Hoss: Seth's worked over Finn's leg and now seems to be focusing on MOP's arm.*MOP reaches for the bottom rope, but can't quite make it yet...*
Hoss: This would be one hell of an upset if Seth managed to win against two opponents the caliber of MOP and Finn McHaggis here!King: And it would be embarrassing for both of them, which is why MOP needs to get that bottom rope NOW!*Finn grabs MOP's hand and tags himself in. He crosses the ropes and charges for Seth, mounting him and pounding on him some more.*
Hoss: Finn McHaggis with the tag and the save!King: MOP should've tagged him in when he asked for it.*MOP slips out of the ring to recover. Seth pokes Finn in the eyes, allowing him to slip out.*
Hoss: As Dwight Schrute once told us, the eyes are the groin of the head.King: In that case, Drakin should be disqualified for a low blow...uh, to the head...or something...*Seth slaps Finn across the face, then takes him down to the mat with a headlock...*
Hoss: Drakin slowing the pace down now...*As Seth maintains the headlock, the Punisher runs down to the ring, but MOP is there to stop him.*
King: What's that idiot doing out here?Hoss: He has no business in this match, true, but the Punisher has suffered a great deal at the hands of Finn McHaggis, and probably wants to exact some revenge!King: NOW?!*Referee Kwon approaches the scuffle as Punisher gestures to the ring*
Hoss: For once, Jake Kwon's doing the right thing by trying to get Punisher out of here.King: Kwon's the salt of the earth, he is.*Seth gets up to see what's going on. Finn brushes himself off for a moment...*
Hoss: Seth may be making a mistake by taking his eye off McHaggis...King: Well, he's known for making big costly mistakes.*Seth walks towards the Punisher and MOP when Finn shoves him forward. Seth collides with Referee Kwon, taking him out.*
Hoss: And Jake Kwon is down, probably out!King: Of course that hurt Seth too, but--HEY!*Punisher slides into the ring and punches Finn straight in the temple, knocking him down to the mat.*
Hoss: ENDGAME FROM FRANK CASTLE! He got around MOP and just nailed Finn McHaggis with the Endgame! And it looks like he's still wearing that loaded glove from earlier!King: Disqualify Seth, Jake!Hoss: He's still out cold, King!*MOP slides into the ring after the Punisher, but Seth is ready for him with a standing dropkick that knocks MOP back outside.*
Hoss: Whatever damage that collision with Kwon did to Seth, it looks like he's shaken it off!*Seth points at Punisher then to the outside. Punisher scowls, but slides out of the ring and keeps MOP busy.*
Hoss: Apparently Seth is not too proud to accept aid from the Punisher. I'm not sure any WWCF superstar would turn it down with the stakes so high, though.King: What a dirty cheating bastard!*Seth pats Referee Kwon on the back of the head to make him come to, and then pins Finn.*
Hoss: This could be it!*Kwon gets up and counts 1, 2, 3!*
MM: Here is your winner, SETH DRAKIN!*All Over Me - Drowning Pool*
Hoss: Seth Drakin wins with an assist from the Punisher! But in taking his revenge against Finn McHaggis, the Punisher has just prevented MOP entry into the BattleBowl!King: As pissed as I am that Drakin just won, MOP has to be even more pissed-er!*Seth gestures between Finn and the Punisher, who runs in and punches up Finn as MOP stands around in consternation.*
Hoss: We need some security out here to break this up! Fans, we have to go to break, don't go anywhere![/center]