Post by angryfan on Apr 7, 2006 23:03:33 GMT -5
(scene opens in a grocery store somewhere in Stamford)
HHH: So what do we need again?
Flair: (pushing the cart, designed to look like a Roman throne) Woooooooooooooo!
HHH: She wants what?
Flair: Wooooooooooo!
HHH: I am not buying chocolate covered sausage links, who the hell would eat those?
Steph: (emerging from a nearby aisle, Sledgie strapped to her back, carrying several dozen boxes of cereal) Did you get the sausage yet?
HHH: Uh…we haven’t got to that yet, sorry honey. What kind of cereal did you get?
Steph: (walking in front of the group, scanning the aisles) It’s the latest product we’ve developed. (she hands him the box)
HHH: Sledgie-O’s? He’s getting his own cereal? What the hell?
Steph: Relax, Hunter, you’re on there too.
HHH: I am?
Steph: Yep, look closer.
(in the bottom left corner of the box is a small caricature of Trips sitting in a bowl, below which is written “endorsed by the Cerebral Cereal Assassin)
HHH: I’m getting second billing on cereal? This isn’t fair!
Steph: Oh relax, we’ve got ideas for you too. Now can we get back to shopping?
HHH: Whatever you say. (he looks at Sledgie, in his Flairesque robe and new “Disciple of Sledge” T-shirt) What’er you looking at?
(Sledgie, as always, says nothing)
HHH: What do you mean I don’t have any taste? I’m the epitome of taste, the Game, the King of Kings, the –
(Sledgie still says nothing, but tips to one side in his carrying sling)
HHH: Yeah, I lost, but you didn’t do any better. Hell, if you would have tried harder, I’d have my title back.
Steph: Do we have to go into this now? Can’t we have a nice day of shopping?
HHH: I was trying to not bring it up, but glory hog over there is rubbing it in again.
Steph: He is not.
HHH: Sure he is. He keeps trying to start you tapped out chants. And another thing, how come every time I get some new piece of merchandise, he gets three? I don’t see why anyone would want it.
Steph: The fans love it, and I think it’s cute, so you’re out voted. Got it?
HHH: (to Sledgie) You stay out of this, you’re trying to get me banished to the garage again. I can’t even have a nice Mania entrance by myself, oh no, got to put you out there front and center. Well you know what? I’m the one that’s over, I’m the one they were cheering for.
Kurt: (popping out of the frozen pizza case as they pass by) You know what that means? It means you were wrong, it means New Year’s Revolution wasn’t my fault –
Snitsky: (from behind the low-fat Swedish Meatblalls) Or mine!
Kurt: and most importantly, it means that your Olympic Hero deserves everything he gets, including super double coupons and 40% off deli goods. Oh it’s true, it’s damn true!
HHH: Shut up! When they cheer me and I’m the bad guy, that’s different. They know I’m that damn good, and –
Steph: ENOUGH! Why can’t we go a day without this? There are more important things than that damn match!
HHH: Why can’t I ever win? You always take his side!
(Sledgie says nothing, but the buckle of his interlawn championship peeks out from the robe)
Flair: Woooooooooooooo!
HHH: (glaring at Flair) I keep telling you, that was a fluke victory. It was a fluke, you beating me in a cage match was a fluke, everything’s a fluke.
Heenan (walking past pushing a cart full of WCW Ice Cream Bars) That’s not fair. He’s Ric Flair, and if you want to be fair, you have to say that he’s Flair, because that’s only fair.
HHH: What?
Austin: (popping up behind a nearby beer display) Stop stealing my lines boy!
(the group finishes their shopping and heads towards the register)
HHH: (stopping by a display of HGH enhanced Grandma’s Cookies, chocolate chip oatmeal variety) I don’t see a price, how much are these anyway?
Rey: (jumping out from behind the display) Booyaka, they’re $6.19!
HHH: Uh…ok.
RVD: (from the other side of the display) Remember your frequent shopper card, dude, then they’re only $4.20.
HHH: Why are you guys back there anyway?
RVD: I love cookies, dude. I remember, Sabu and I used to –
HHH: (to Rey) you like cookies too?
Rey: Nah, I’m just doing some shopping. I needed some cool ranch Doritos, they were Eddie’s favorite. (looking skyward) I dedicate this chip to you, esse!
Orton (running by and RKOing an old woman into a rack of batteries) Get the spicy kind! You know why! You do, admit it!
HHH: (to Orton) What the hell are you doing here? And what’s your problem anyway?
Orton: I don’t have a problem; I’m Randy Orton, a main eventer, a money maker, and a star! I’m Randy Orton!
Taker: (emerging from the frozen foods section, tailed by druids pushing a cart full of Hostess snacks) Orton? Did I hear someone say Orton?
Orton: (hiding) No, I said, uh, Florton, I’m Jim Florton.
Taker: My mistake (he goes back into frozen foods)
Orton: (quieter) anyway, like I said, I’m a main eventer. You of all people should know that. You got me there.
Flair: Wooooooooooo!
Orton: Shut up old man, I am not immature. I’m not, I’m not, I’m not! You take it back!
Flair: (starting to bleed from the forehead, thanks to all the excitement) Woooooooooooooooooo! (he begins to strut)
Orton: You’re just a bitter, jealous old man. Just because my star was recognized, just because –
Flair: Woooooo!
Orton: So what if my dad was a wrestler, that just means I’ve got the bloodlines. I was born to be a legend, I don’t’ have to spend time in the minor leagues.
David, Dustin, Greggles, and Erik: He’s right, he makes a good point. Go, Randy, go! (the begin to cheer)
Randy: See? I told you that –
(Orton is cut off by a massive chop from Flair and then pedigreed into a Purina display)
HHH: Damn he’s annoying. What the hell were we thinking anyway Naitch?
Flair: Wooooooooooo!
HHH: Oh, right. Hey Steph?
Steph: Yes dear?
HHH: Remind me to never agree to anything after I have lunch with Jake ever again, ok?
Steph: (smiling) I’ve been trying to tell you that, but it’s nice to see you finally figured it out.
(the group checks out and heads home)
HHH: So what do we need again?
Flair: (pushing the cart, designed to look like a Roman throne) Woooooooooooooo!
HHH: She wants what?
Flair: Wooooooooooo!
HHH: I am not buying chocolate covered sausage links, who the hell would eat those?
Steph: (emerging from a nearby aisle, Sledgie strapped to her back, carrying several dozen boxes of cereal) Did you get the sausage yet?
HHH: Uh…we haven’t got to that yet, sorry honey. What kind of cereal did you get?
Steph: (walking in front of the group, scanning the aisles) It’s the latest product we’ve developed. (she hands him the box)
HHH: Sledgie-O’s? He’s getting his own cereal? What the hell?
Steph: Relax, Hunter, you’re on there too.
HHH: I am?
Steph: Yep, look closer.
(in the bottom left corner of the box is a small caricature of Trips sitting in a bowl, below which is written “endorsed by the Cerebral Cereal Assassin)
HHH: I’m getting second billing on cereal? This isn’t fair!
Steph: Oh relax, we’ve got ideas for you too. Now can we get back to shopping?
HHH: Whatever you say. (he looks at Sledgie, in his Flairesque robe and new “Disciple of Sledge” T-shirt) What’er you looking at?
(Sledgie, as always, says nothing)
HHH: What do you mean I don’t have any taste? I’m the epitome of taste, the Game, the King of Kings, the –
(Sledgie still says nothing, but tips to one side in his carrying sling)
HHH: Yeah, I lost, but you didn’t do any better. Hell, if you would have tried harder, I’d have my title back.
Steph: Do we have to go into this now? Can’t we have a nice day of shopping?
HHH: I was trying to not bring it up, but glory hog over there is rubbing it in again.
Steph: He is not.
HHH: Sure he is. He keeps trying to start you tapped out chants. And another thing, how come every time I get some new piece of merchandise, he gets three? I don’t see why anyone would want it.
Steph: The fans love it, and I think it’s cute, so you’re out voted. Got it?
HHH: (to Sledgie) You stay out of this, you’re trying to get me banished to the garage again. I can’t even have a nice Mania entrance by myself, oh no, got to put you out there front and center. Well you know what? I’m the one that’s over, I’m the one they were cheering for.
Kurt: (popping out of the frozen pizza case as they pass by) You know what that means? It means you were wrong, it means New Year’s Revolution wasn’t my fault –
Snitsky: (from behind the low-fat Swedish Meatblalls) Or mine!
Kurt: and most importantly, it means that your Olympic Hero deserves everything he gets, including super double coupons and 40% off deli goods. Oh it’s true, it’s damn true!
HHH: Shut up! When they cheer me and I’m the bad guy, that’s different. They know I’m that damn good, and –
Steph: ENOUGH! Why can’t we go a day without this? There are more important things than that damn match!
HHH: Why can’t I ever win? You always take his side!
(Sledgie says nothing, but the buckle of his interlawn championship peeks out from the robe)
Flair: Woooooooooooooo!
HHH: (glaring at Flair) I keep telling you, that was a fluke victory. It was a fluke, you beating me in a cage match was a fluke, everything’s a fluke.
Heenan (walking past pushing a cart full of WCW Ice Cream Bars) That’s not fair. He’s Ric Flair, and if you want to be fair, you have to say that he’s Flair, because that’s only fair.
HHH: What?
Austin: (popping up behind a nearby beer display) Stop stealing my lines boy!
(the group finishes their shopping and heads towards the register)
HHH: (stopping by a display of HGH enhanced Grandma’s Cookies, chocolate chip oatmeal variety) I don’t see a price, how much are these anyway?
Rey: (jumping out from behind the display) Booyaka, they’re $6.19!
HHH: Uh…ok.
RVD: (from the other side of the display) Remember your frequent shopper card, dude, then they’re only $4.20.
HHH: Why are you guys back there anyway?
RVD: I love cookies, dude. I remember, Sabu and I used to –
HHH: (to Rey) you like cookies too?
Rey: Nah, I’m just doing some shopping. I needed some cool ranch Doritos, they were Eddie’s favorite. (looking skyward) I dedicate this chip to you, esse!
Orton (running by and RKOing an old woman into a rack of batteries) Get the spicy kind! You know why! You do, admit it!
HHH: (to Orton) What the hell are you doing here? And what’s your problem anyway?
Orton: I don’t have a problem; I’m Randy Orton, a main eventer, a money maker, and a star! I’m Randy Orton!
Taker: (emerging from the frozen foods section, tailed by druids pushing a cart full of Hostess snacks) Orton? Did I hear someone say Orton?
Orton: (hiding) No, I said, uh, Florton, I’m Jim Florton.
Taker: My mistake (he goes back into frozen foods)
Orton: (quieter) anyway, like I said, I’m a main eventer. You of all people should know that. You got me there.
Flair: Wooooooooooo!
Orton: Shut up old man, I am not immature. I’m not, I’m not, I’m not! You take it back!
Flair: (starting to bleed from the forehead, thanks to all the excitement) Woooooooooooooooooo! (he begins to strut)
Orton: You’re just a bitter, jealous old man. Just because my star was recognized, just because –
Flair: Woooooo!
Orton: So what if my dad was a wrestler, that just means I’ve got the bloodlines. I was born to be a legend, I don’t’ have to spend time in the minor leagues.
David, Dustin, Greggles, and Erik: He’s right, he makes a good point. Go, Randy, go! (the begin to cheer)
Randy: See? I told you that –
(Orton is cut off by a massive chop from Flair and then pedigreed into a Purina display)
HHH: Damn he’s annoying. What the hell were we thinking anyway Naitch?
Flair: Wooooooooooo!
HHH: Oh, right. Hey Steph?
Steph: Yes dear?
HHH: Remind me to never agree to anything after I have lunch with Jake ever again, ok?
Steph: (smiling) I’ve been trying to tell you that, but it’s nice to see you finally figured it out.
(the group checks out and heads home)
Thanks for the feedback guys
