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Post by The Real Slim sMurfy on May 15, 2012 20:17:03 GMT -5
Nash with a big boot!
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Post by Felandria on May 15, 2012 20:18:17 GMT -5
Nash hits Zeke with a copy of his new movie Monster Brawl.
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Post by SAVE_US.GDR on May 15, 2012 20:25:24 GMT -5
Nash goes on a rampage, beating the daylights out of Jackson before dropping him with a Jackknife Powerbomb! But instead of going for the pin, he immediately pulls Jackson up and hits a second Jackknife!!!!
1!
2!
3!
TC: Here is your winner, Kevin Nash!
We head to Darren Young with Lillian Garcia.
Last week, you gave away so much money. How?
Trust that was a lot of money just to blow in one night. And if Percy and I weren't so committed to changing what the fans think of us, we would have had a lot more trouble giving it to the live crowd.
Obviously, you can't buy fans. But it was more to prove a point. Classic NeXT wouldn't have done that, Hell, even when we started off as Wild and Young we weren't planning on it. But it was something completely necessary. As I alluded to, we only had two options. Keep stepping it up, or stop before it became to crazy. Percy and I are WWE creations. We both worked our way through FCW and into this company. We're not independent stars that made a name elsewhere, we're not supermodels using wrestling for attention, we're just two guys who love this company and were willing to do whatever it took to stay with it.
Because even though our actions were heinous, they kept us in this company. The GMs hated us, but they can't fire people that have too much of a buzz around them. If we were future endeavored, we would've had contract offers anywhere to tell our side of the story. It wasn't so much about having a job elsewhere, it was about maintaining ours here. So while we were dicks, we were doing it because we loved this company. Its kind of odd when you think about it, but life is never easy.
Still that was over half a million!
It was worth every penny. Trust me, Lillian. Some wrestlers are truly heartless, and they honestly don't care if the fans cheer them or boo. But not Percy. It ate away at him every night, and while I didn't feel too bad about it, he really missed the days where he can yell out "OH YEAH" to the love of the fans. And thats when it became clear what needed to happen.
What about tonight? What about Santino?
Well, I haven't ever interacted with Santino to my knowledge, but I've seen his work. He's been impressive but so have I. He may have a money in the bank briefcase, a moonsault loving girlfriend, and some MMA training, but that doesn't mean much to me.
Because I don't need an on screen girlfriend. Everyone knows I get it, and I do not need to remind them by shoving a cute chick in their face.
I don't need MMA skills. Take that crap to the UFC. I'm here to wrestle, and while you're throwing some tough jabs, I'll just exit the ring and knock your ass out with a chair. Obviously I'm not going to do that because I don't want to be disqualified, but thats my point. MMA and Professional Wrestling are two completely different beasts. Your training makes no sense to me, Santino. Keep focusing on the ground and pound, and I'll actually focus on winning tonight's match.
So in conclusion, I'm ready to show off to my new fans... CRAP.
What?
The fans are cheering me now. Which means if I want to keep them on my side, there are certain guidelines I need to follow. And I almost just broke one right now.
Which one?
The closing hook. Think about it. Whether "It's Clobbering Time", someone is joining the "Hall of Pain", good guys usually have an ending hook. But you... you already knew that. SEE WHAT I MEAN!
So? You're smart, come up with an ending hook.
No, this is important Lillian. This is the sort of crap that ends up on the back of shirts.
Maybe "Tonight will be Legendary"... no, too lame.
Possibly "OH YEAH!"... but I can't help but feel someone is already using that.
Maybe I can just shout YES! YES! YES!, but I feel like thats copyright infringement for some reason.
CRAP! CRAP! CRAP!
Okay, under pressure, Darren. Think. Think.
Darren pauses for a few seconds, before it appears he has an epiphany.
You know what... I don't think I need one.
At the end of the day, I'm a true talent here. I'm of a rare breed. A man who fights his ass off, and has never gotten respect for his skills. I might not have a hook, but I've got one hell of a jab. I may not be the most entertaining guy, unfortunately. I know I'm not the strongest. I'm not the biggest. Or the fastest. While there is no clear strength, there is no real weakness either. I can handle any type of fight, and at the end of the day I come out victorious. So you can look at me like I'm a loser. You can make a lame joke that I look like Cena. But you can't stop me.
I am Darren Young, and what you see is what you get. I'm nothing special, but I sure am something extraordinary.
Darren leaves the shot.
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Post by Sloth Spartan on May 15, 2012 20:25:54 GMT -5
Know your enemy?
*shakes head disapprovingly for Tank*
Nash with a Torn Quad.
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Post by Sloth Spartan on May 15, 2012 20:26:25 GMT -5
Hey look, I made it... just in time for my match.  |
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Post by SAVE_US.GDR on May 15, 2012 20:26:28 GMT -5
Santino is backstage, cradling his briefcase.
Darren Young, you seem to have become quite the enterprising young man.
However, I remember just a couple months ago you were one of the most disgusting, vile, scummy individuals this company had ever seen.
What happened to you to make you lose your nerve?
At least have the decency to admit that you didn't have the guts to get the job done, kid, I mean, that run you and Percy Watson had with the Tag Team titles was....
Nonexistent.
All that rage and hostility and despicable actions you perpetrated were for nothing, you failed miserably, Darren.
And tonight, you fail again, because you are nothing more than a wannabe.
You wanted to be the big evil around here, you wanted to terrorize the WWE, but just like Rey Mysterio, you didn't have the guts.
I do, because tonight I show the locker room that there's a new monster under their beds.
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Post by SAVE_US.GDR on May 15, 2012 20:29:24 GMT -5
WE ARE YOUNG!
WE ARE STRONG!
WE'RE NOT LOOKING FOR WHERE WE BELONG!!!!
TC: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Making his way to the ring, from South Beach, Florida, Darren Young!
*One Step Closer*
TC: And his opponent, from Calabria, Italy, Santino Marella!
DARREN YOUNG VS. SANTINO MARELLA
First to 3
10 minutes
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Post by The Real Slim sMurfy on May 15, 2012 20:29:26 GMT -5
Hey look, I made it... just in time for my match. *Over the top West and Tenay high five* Someone find me that gif.  |
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Post by Sloth Spartan on May 15, 2012 20:32:25 GMT -5
Darren Young with an over the top slap to Santino's face. EDIT: Couldn't find the gif. Will this suffice, M?  |
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Post by The Real Slim sMurfy on May 15, 2012 20:39:39 GMT -5
Darren Young with an over the top slap to Santino's face. EDIT: Couldn't find the gif. Will this suffice, M? Saved!  Young with a powerslam! |
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Post by SAVE_US.GDR on May 15, 2012 20:42:09 GMT -5
Santino goes for the Snakebite, but Young spin counters and hits the Bonecrusher Powerslam!!!!
1!
2!
3!
TC: Here is your winner, Darren Young!
Ladies and gentlemen...
The crowd boos as Cena and Eve enter the scene.
Raw's Power Couple.
Thanks Cole. Tonight, John and I are competing in separate tag team matches. I'm joining forces with Leah West to take on the Women's Champion and an Undertaker rip off.
I'll start with Raquel Guerrero. The first thing is this. What the hell happened to wrestling's seven year rule? The Undertaker last used that gimmick in 2003...
Nine years.
Yes, but what most people forget is that TWO years ago, Michelle McCool resurrected the gimmick in both a move to refresh herself and in a not-so-subtle nod to what...
Or who she's doing at home.
So I actually find it even more hilarious that Raquel has chosen this route for her advancement up the ranks. What's next, she's going to start fighting men? Well Raquel, I have news for you. It's going to go nowhere. Trust me on this.
One, you're not talented enough to pull it off. Two, why are you trying to mooch off of The Undertaker's old gimmick when you're the daughter of EDDIE GUERRERO?! Seriously. You have a built in gimmick right there. Trade in the motorcycle for a low rider and...
Well you'll still lose to me in the end, but at least your gimmick will make sense.
What about Beth?
She's the Women's Champion, Michael. And she beat me twice. Obviously, I want to avenge that loss and get myself back in contention for the title come King of the Ring.
OK. John, what about you? Tonight you're teaming with Drew McIntyre against Christian and Alberto Del Rio.
Hey, I like Drew. Him and I used to have the same agent.
Did you know that guy's also representing Beth now?
Yeah, but our agent is better.
Anyway, Christian. What's there to say? The guy can't seem to catch a break. He's like a hundred time tag team champion and he held the IC title last year for what, five months?
But for all his successes, he can't seem to win the big one. And why is that? It's not a lack of talent, no. But I think he's actually afraid to win the WWE Championship. What is he afraid of? Who knows. Maybe he's worried he'll drop it two days later or something.
As for Del Rio, I beat him a bunch of times last year. Goldy was there. We had fun.
That's all you're going to say about him?
Yeah?
So no meta jokes? No breaking the fourth wall? No insider references?
Aren't all of those pretty much the same thing?
NO! Just like masochism and sadism aren't the same thing! God, doesn't anyone around here do any research?!
Gee Eve, I'm sorry. I didn't know you felt so strongly about this matter.
Well I do. It's something that causes me to lose sleep at night. Just like Jinder Mahal only using his wizard powers in Royal Rumble matches, or Zack Ryder's urine fetish...
...What?
Our agent told me about it. Apparently he had to restrain him from spying on Gail Kim and Aksana at Survivor Series...
Hey, you're not one to talk! What about your fecalphillia?
...
AW C'MON!!!!
So that WAS you who put that camera in our hotel bathroom!
Now wait a second! Sure, I like to talk about poop and I like to accuse my opponents of engaging in poop related stuff, but to imply that I would illegally spy on you during such a private activity...
John, it's OK.
I like to be watched...
...OK.
So um... yeah. Cole, you wanna wrap this up before we get yanked off the air?
Ladies and gentlemen, this has been Michalel Cole, the official interviewer of Raw's Power Couple. Back to ringside.
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Post by SAVE_US.GDR on May 15, 2012 20:43:28 GMT -5
Christian is on a cell phone.
I don't know, Adam, I'm just getting a weird vibe about tonight.
Yeah, I hope I'm wrong about it, but we'll just have to see.
Dude, don't worry, I know enough to keep a swivel on and watch my back.
I'll talk to you later.
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Post by SAVE_US.GDR on May 15, 2012 20:51:38 GMT -5
What's that metronome I hear?
Perhaps the end is growing near
You never hear the shot that takes you down....
OUT OF TIME, SO SAY GOODBYE....
TC: The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Making his way to the ring accompanied by Amelia, from Ayr, Scotland, Drew McIntyre!
So... you think you're untouchable....
TC: And his partner, from West Newberry, Massachusetts, John Cena!
*Realaza*
TC: Introducing their opponents, from San Luis Potosi, Mexico, Alberto Del Rio!
GO!!!!
*Just Close Your Eyes*
TC: And from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, Christian!
CHRISTIAN AND ALBERTO DEL RIO VS. JOHN CENA AND DREW MCINTYRE
First to 3
10 minutes
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Post by The Real Slim sMurfy on May 15, 2012 20:51:42 GMT -5
...Yeah, I have no idea how I went from inside jokes to revealing Cena has a shit fetish and Eve is into voyeurism. |
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Post by Felandria on May 15, 2012 20:52:31 GMT -5
Damn it. Back to square one.
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Post by The Real Slim sMurfy on May 15, 2012 20:54:24 GMT -5
Cena with a shoulder block!
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Post by Felandria on May 15, 2012 20:54:58 GMT -5
Christain DDTs Cena.
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Post by SAVE_US.GDR on May 15, 2012 20:56:20 GMT -5
Damn it. Back to square one. No it's not. That briefcase automatically keeps you a threat. |
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Post by SAVE_US.GDR on May 15, 2012 21:10:32 GMT -5
McIntyre clocks Christian with a boot, then sets him up for the Future Shock, but Christian back body drops him! He crawls to his corner and tries to tag out, but Del Rio suddenly jumps off the apron!
What the hell is Del Rio doing?
Christian's defenseless, and now that Cena's tagged in, he's a sitting duck!
Christian is stunned by Del Rio's walkout, allowing Cena to pull him up and hit the Attitude Adjustment!!!!
1!
2!
3!
TC: Here are your winners, Drew McIntyre and John Cena!
Del Rio instantly slides back in the ring with a steel chair and starts bringing it down on the right arm of Christian! He keeps smashing the arm repeatedly before tossing the chair aside and putting Christian in the cross armbar!
Security and officials rush the ring and he bails, taking a mic in the process:
Ha ha! Christian, did you honestly believe that I would show remorse for doing what was necessary to defeat you? Please.
The crowd boos but Del Rio is undeterred.
Being a nice guy only got me so far. I lost the WWE Championship after only five weeks and was unable to earn a rematch. I tried to please you and it hurt my career. Well you can be certain I will never make such a mistake again.
Christian, I will make an example out of you. All these years you've pandered to this crowd and where did it get you? Nice guys finish last. But...
Del Rio re-enters the ring, shoves a referee down, and spits on Christian.
You already knew that.
Del Rio chuckles as the crowd continues booing. He walks to the back as the officials get back to checking on Christian.
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Post by SAVE_US.GDR on May 15, 2012 21:11:57 GMT -5
X-Pac is backstage and walks right up to Raquel Guerrero.
OK, this has got to stop.
What does?
What the hell is with trying to bring back all the gimmicks from 2000?!
Don't know what you're talking about, boss.
Don't play this shit with me, Raquel. We now have a diva who thinks she's Bill Goldberg, and I think it's all too coincidental that-
As if on cue, Valkyrie walks up, snorting and snarling. She stops when she sees the looks on the other two's faces.
What're you looking at?
I think it's a little hard to not look after you kept shouting "WHO'S NEXT?!" after your match.
It's an honest question, Raquel. I want to know who's next.
X-Pac starts walking past them.
Wait, where are you going?
Someplace sane.
The two divas follow him.
Whatever. Right now, I need to get ready to knock two arrogant bullies down to size, and I know Beth will be more than happy to help me-
The three suddenly come to a stop at a very familiar door.
OH HELL NO!!!!
He walks around-
USE THE DOOR!
X-Pac sighs, walks back, then he and the divas open the door-
UH-UH!!!! KNOCK FIRST!!!!
X-Pac sighs again, closes the door, then knocks.
OK, NOW you can come in.
They open the door... and are stunned to see a very fancy table and chair. Sitting at the table is a lovely young woman in a little black dress, her brunette hair pulled up on top of her head. This looks very familiar if you're a film buff....
It's useful being top banana in the shock department!
That quote is probably taken entirely out of context.
What-
Breakfast At Tiffany's. Starring Audrey Hepburn. From the book by Truman Capote. Directed by Blake Edwards-
Ah, yes, allow me to introduce myself, Mr. Waltman. The name is Audrey Marie Miller. WWE's resident aspiring socialite.
Oh great. ANOTHER weirdo.
A bit harsh, don't you think?
You have a match tonight, right?
Yes, and I do believe I should be getting ready. It should take you exactly four seconds to cross from here to that door. I'll give you two.
The two divas back out after hearing another quote. X-Pac closes the door as he leaves. Then he crumbles to the floor, sobbing.
I KNOW I'm sober, I KNOW I'm sober, I KNOW I'm sober....
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