Lick Ness Monster
Dennis Stamp
From the eerie, eerie depths of Lake Okabena
Posts: 4,874
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Post by Lick Ness Monster on Nov 28, 2013 10:14:25 GMT -5
What is the word on the 3rd movie? Takashi Shimizu has had it on his to-do list for years, but has never gotten around to it for whatever reason. I really don't see why not; the Japanese films he has done since that time have been modestly successful, but it's not like they're setting the world on fire. Come on, bro. You even PRODUCED two unofficial spinoff films. Make Ju-On 3D happen! The Friday the 13th news...yeah, I don't know what to think about this. On one hand, anything that brings one of the "big three" slasher icons back to the screen is fine with me, especially after what will (at that time) be a six-year layoff between movies. On the other hand, it's Platinum Dunes. It's a mistake to call their movies "bad," because they're not. They're well-shot and technically sound. But the problem with their movies is that they are just that - soulless, unimaginative and unmemorable exercises in paint-by-numbers storytelling that might be reasonably enjoyable in theaters but are completely forgotten about approximately three days later. I was hoping for someone else to get a crack at Jason in the not-too-distant future. Guess those hopes were unfounded.
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Post by DSR on Nov 28, 2013 18:54:11 GMT -5
What is the word on the 3rd movie? Takashi Shimizu has had it on his to-do list for years, but has never gotten around to it for whatever reason. I really don't see why not; the Japanese films he has done since that time have been modestly successful, but it's not like they're setting the world on fire. Come on, bro. You even PRODUCED two unofficial spinoff films. Make Ju-On 3D happen! The Friday the 13th news...yeah, I don't know what to think about this. On one hand, anything that brings one of the "big three" slasher icons back to the screen is fine with me, especially after what will (at that time) be a six-year layoff between movies. On the other hand, it's Platinum Dunes. It's a mistake to call their movies "bad," because they're not. They're well-shot and technically sound. But the problem with their movies is that they are just that - soulless, unimaginative and unmemorable exercises in paint-by-numbers storytelling that might be reasonably enjoyable in theaters but are completely forgotten about approximately three days later. I was hoping for someone else to get a crack at Jason in the not-too-distant future. Guess those hopes were unfounded. Someone in a Facebook group I'm in suggested Dario Argento direct an F13 movie, in which Udo Kier plays a warlock who resurrects Jason, and the film is still set at Camp Crystal Lake, but the kills for some reason take place in beautiful parts of Rome. It would NEVER happen, but I'd love it if it were real.
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Lick Ness Monster
Dennis Stamp
From the eerie, eerie depths of Lake Okabena
Posts: 4,874
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Post by Lick Ness Monster on Dec 3, 2013 9:27:20 GMT -5
A NAME FOR EVIL Directed by Bernard Girard Starring Robert Culp, Samantha Eggar and Sheila Sullivan If you're looking for a horror movie to have a good, rollicking, MST3K-style time with a group of friends, look no further than A Name for Evil. Filmed in 1969 and sitting on studio shelves for four years under the idea that the fact that this was a movie that basically had no audience (a suspicion that turned out to be correct), this is a flick rife with funny editing moments, even funnier acting, and one of the most baffling narratives in the history of film. It's also the only movie in the history of humanity to feature Robert Culp being whisked away to a hippie orgy on a white horse. Spoiler alert. PLOT: Culp (in the midst of his I Spy groovy period) stars as John Blake, swingin' architecht who has grown disenfranchised with the humdrum of his everyday life. Along with his semi-estranged wife (there's all sorts of issues between them that are never quite fleshed out), Blake takes off to the country to live in his grandfather's old house in the country. Commence usual series of haunted house movie cliches, only with a whole lot more far-out subtext. In some respects, this is actually a pretty deep film, and I've read my fair share of reviews online that delve into the hidden meanings and metaphors that a viewer can read into the plot. Supposedly, the idea is that Culp's character is looking to leave his wife, and a lot of the weirdness and debauchery that take place in the haunted house are manifestations of this. Or something. What we can actually see is a whole lot of unscary tedium involving shadows moving and mysterious caretakers. PLOT RATING: * 1/2 out of ****. CHARACTERS AND ACTORS: In addition to Culp, the movie features Samantha Eggar of The Brood and Curtains relative fame as his wife Joanna. This character is a bit of an annoying shrew, who views her husband as an overgrown man-child clinging to the hope that living in the country will reinvigorate their lives. There's also Sheila Sullivan (Culp's real-life wife at the time) as a smoking-hot local whom John Blake enjoys an extramarital tryst with in the aforementioned funniest orgy scene ever filmed. All three actors are actually pretty talented in their own right, but for whatever reason, they don't fit these characters in the least bit. In addition to that, John Blake is a pretty dislikable lead protagonist, and in addition to making fun of his suspect wardrobe you'll likely get a lot of milage out of his pouty dimeanor. CHARACTERS AND ACTORS RATING: ** out of ****. COOL FACTOR: Yikes. This isn't a very cool movie, and I'll just leave it at that. Not much in the way of cool death sequences - from what I can tell, there is only one death in this movie, and according to who you listen to it might not even officially take place. The less said about Culp's threads the better. COOL FACTOR: 1/2 out of ****. OVERALL: The reason that I found this movie to be such a great comedic goldmine, today and when I first saw it on AMC some late night back in 2006, is that it's a movie that never quite figures out what it wants to be. Sometimes, it's a middle-aged domestic drama. Sometimes, it's a Robert Wise-style haunted house film. And sometimes it's a pure 1969 anti-establishment credo. At any rate, while this movie is not very good at all, I nonetheless recommend it for pure masochism purposes. Take my word for it, the final 30 minutes or so of A Name for Evil has any latter day Adam Sandler film beat for pure laughs. OVERALL RATING: * 1/2 out of ****, but if you've got a group of friends to watch and mock it with, bump that rating up significantly.
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Post by DSR on Dec 3, 2013 15:38:33 GMT -5
The whole time I'm reading the name John Blake, I keep wondering if his real first name is "Robin."
But anyway, A NAME FOR EVIL sounds like a good time.
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Lick Ness Monster
Dennis Stamp
From the eerie, eerie depths of Lake Okabena
Posts: 4,874
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Post by Lick Ness Monster on Dec 10, 2013 9:27:01 GMT -5
Here's one from the "obscure and awesome" file. Taking place in the extreme, extreme, EXTREME days of yore, Blood on Satan's Claw is a startlingly effective little chiller that's about fifteen times as good as a movie with this title warrants. If you want a little bit more coercion, this is a movie that proudly features gory murders, more than its fair share of genuinely creepy and disturbing scenes, and a good helping of gratuitous nudity with some stunning British beauties gettin' em out for your viewing pleasure. Sound good? That's what I thought. PLOT: The movie takes place in 17th century England, beginning with a peasant farmer digging up the remains of a strange creature. Not soon afterward, the children in the village begin acting strangely and mysterious deaths begin to creep up, including the ambiguous (in a good way, I promise) murder involving a young man being choked to death by a disembodied hand. Not soon after, we are introduced to a group of schoolchildren who begin worshiping the demon remains and offering ritual sacrifices (one of which is one of the four or five most disturbing scenes I've seen in any horror movie). While all of this is going on, the local judge begins investigating and tracking down the source of the chaos. In many regards, this is a film with similarities to Dario Argento's masterpiece Suspiria, in that it isn't a movie about plot, but more just creating an oppressively suspenseful atmosphere. And it's got that in spades. PLOT RATING: *** 1/2 out of ****. CHARACTERS AND ACTORS: Patrick Wymark plays The Judge (his name in the credits), and does an admirable job as a guy who appears appropriately skeptical of the fantastic claims coming from the townsfolk in the early goings before turning all-out Rambo for the finale. Almost every character, from the local Reverend to the schoolchildren, is played by an actor who is not satisfied to go through the motions. I don't know what to credit this to, if it's British training or the fact that the movie was filmed before "horror" became a dirty word, but it is much appreciatd nonetheless. CHARACTERS AND ACTORS RATING: *** 1/2 out of ****. COOL FACTOR: In my humble opinion, most "Gothic" horror films aren't terribly cool, but this is one that has coolness firmly in its corner. The reason? Linda Hayden and her coven of devil-worshiping teens. If you're a fan of Hammer studios, you might recognize her as the very ample-busomed woman who assisted Christopher Lee in Taste the Blood of Dracula. In this movie, she becomes a card-carrying Satanist seductress - and performs an unforgettable full-frontal scene. Hayden and Co. make outstanding villains - they are characters that you both WANT to see on camera and genuinely want to see get their comeuppance, a rare thing these days when victim characters are so damned annoying that they leave me rooting for the bad guys by default. COOL FACTOR: *** 1/2 out of ****. OVERALL: While I can't say that this flick is a masterpiece, Blood on Satan's Claw is a movie with an irrefutable power to give you the willies. Throw in good acting, characters and a solid story and there's a real winner to be found here. Keyword: FOUND, because this movie is rather hard to find on DVD - mine is a DVD-R purchased from a "guy on the corner" style online vendor, and the decided lack of subtitles pissed me off. But it's worth it to pop this movie on after the sun goes down and feel the tension rising up in your throat. OVERALL RATING: *** 1/2 out of ****. Check it out.
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Post by DSR on Dec 13, 2013 0:43:03 GMT -5
I completely missed this post when you made it a few days ago, man. My apologies. I've not seen THE BLOOD ON SATAN'S CLAW, but everything I've heard about it makes me believe it's a winner. Turner Classic Movies has occasionally aired it on TCM Underground. Hopefully they get around to doing that again sooner, rather than later.
Also, I made a thread for this, but in the event that that thread dies, I hope at least the FAN Horror Community can appreciate this hastily thrown together tribute to the fact that today is Friday, December 13th:
Twas 12 nights before Christmas, when all through the cabins A mysterious figure was teenager-stabbin' Crazy Ralph, with his "death curse", was the only one who cared, But make no mistake, Jason Voorhees is there.
The counselors were nestled all snug in their beds, With horny thoughts and alcohol dancing in their heads. Mama Voorhees's head in a dilapidated shack, Jason picked up his axe and was ready to hack.
When out in the woods there arose such a clatter, One boy sprang from his bed to see what was the matter. Away with a flashlight he flew like a flash, Little suspecting he was about to be slashed.
The moon on the breast of a girl in a hot tub Gave thoughts quite impure to a shady-looking shlub. He decided to make her poor clothes disappear, So his view of her body would always be clear.
But then came Jason, so lively and quick, He sliced the pervert to his throat from his...pants. To the girl he delivered punishment much the same, And wanted revenge on these characters (by name):
On Renny, On Tina, On Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, On Tommy Jarvis and Reggie, on Roy (the fake Jason) On each final girl that refuses to fall, Needless to say, he wants to slaughter them all.
Crystal Lake, itself, covered over in ice, Appears (deceptively) so tranquil, so nice. One would think it a lovely place for a date, 'Til Jason slices your throat with your own ice skate.
From my cabin I heard a horrifying noise Almost like screaming teenaged girls and boys. As I packed up my stuff, Jason burst through the door, I was so scared I thought I'd pee on the floor.
He was dressed all in gray, save a white hockey mask, And his clothes were bloodstained from his murderous task. An old machete he held over his head, If I didn't move, I'd surely be dead.
His eyes and his dimples...I honestly didn't see 'em, Trying not to end up in a mausoleum. He swung the machete, my mind shouted "GO", I bolted as fast as I could through the snow.
I ran to my car, on some ice I slipped, To Jason I looked like a hedge to be clipped. I crawled to the car on my hands and knees, Once there I reached in my pocket for keys.
I made it inside, thought I was in the clear But my tires had no traction in the rear I went nowhere with my foot slammed down on the gas, While Jason's hands broke the car window's glass.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, Grabbed my head with both hands, then turned it with a jerk. My neck may have snapped, but Jason got his, For the final girl got her revenge for us kids.
She hanged him in a barn, then ran from these grounds... Y'know, police say his body has never been found. Some nights, you can still hear the sound Jason made to his Ma, "Ch Ch Ch Ch, Ha Ha Ha Ha!"
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Post by Kash Flagg on Dec 13, 2013 0:53:29 GMT -5
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Post by GuyOfOwnage on Dec 13, 2013 0:59:43 GMT -5
As the resident slasher aficionado, I'd just like to take the time to wish everyone in this thread a Happy Friday the 13th. Today, while the rest of the world is jingle belling and ho-ho-ho-ing, us Friday fans will be ki-ki-ki-ing and ma-ma-ma-ing while we sit down and enjoy our favorite hockey-masked psychopath with mommy issues.
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Lick Ness Monster
Dennis Stamp
From the eerie, eerie depths of Lake Okabena
Posts: 4,874
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Post by Lick Ness Monster on Dec 13, 2013 12:37:01 GMT -5
I appreciate the hell out of your poem, DSR. Truly ingenious, if I say so myself. Now that the day has finally reached us, it really does bum me out that we didn't get the famed-in-our-own-minds and much-talked-about winter/Christmas-themed F13 film this year. It would have been SO perfect.
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Lick Ness Monster
Dennis Stamp
From the eerie, eerie depths of Lake Okabena
Posts: 4,874
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Post by Lick Ness Monster on Dec 17, 2013 10:02:01 GMT -5
Here's a movie that hopefully a few of you have seen... Back to the ol' well for this week's review. My boner for Dario Argento knows no bounds! Well, actually, that's a bit of a BS statement. Everyone's milage on the subject varies, but I think that there's a pretty clear and distinct line when it comes to the "quality/crap" ratio in the career of Italy's answer to Jack the Ripper. That line begins and ends with Opera, the much-ballyhoed 1987 opus about a guy who stalks a beautiful soprano and forces her to watch murders by taping needles to her eyelids. Tell me that doesn't sound like cheerful time at the amusement park. I can take or leave the ending, but that movie is all kinds of badass...and, in my opinion, it pretty much marked the point where Dario took the big nosedive. Of course, there were blips on the radar here and there. This 1993 flick (easily the most "mainstream" of Argento's movies, by the way) being one of them. PLOT: As big as my aforementioned boner for Argento is, you can take this statement to the bank: if you've seen one of his giallo films, you've seen them all. All of the same basic ingredients are here - a quirky and/or angsty female lead, this time played by Argento's own daughter Asia as Aura, a teenage anorexia sufferer whose parents are offed in relatively spectacular fashion in the flick's first act. You've also got your arty and/or writer male lead in the form of David (Christopher Rydell), a friendly reporter who takes Aura in after finding her wandering the streets. Soon enough, more bodies begin turning up, always beheaded using what is actually a pretty cool-looking "decapitation" device leading to my most-loved Argento convention - the (relatively) shocking conclusion involving LOTS of psychological exposition. Yeah, there's no minty freshness to be found here, and that's both a blessing and a curse. The former because it's familiar, the latter because, by this point in the Argento canon, you pretty much know what you're getting around every curve. PLOT RATING: ** 1/2 out of ****. CHARACTERS AND ACTORS: Opinions are like assholes, but I've just never been that into Asia Argento. The fact that she figures into a decent portion of Dario's later output no doubt skews what I think about his post- Opera work. Rydell isn't much better, and the character of David - yeah, isn't he technically a pedophile in dumping his girlfriend for 16-year-old Aura? Just sayin'. On the plus side, we do get Piper "They're All Gonna Laugh At You" Laurie as Aura's mother in the early goings of the film as well as an appearance by Brad Dourif, a pretty well-known luminary to my fellow horror mutants out there. It takes a very talented man to make Critters 4 and Rob Zombie's Halloween II the slightest bit entertaining, but this dude managed to pull it off. CHARACTERS AND ACTORS RATING: ** 1/2 out of ****. COOL FACTOR: This is the aspect of Trauma that boggles my mind the most. You know, when this DVD arrived in the mail and I popped it in the slot, I was infinitely stoked when the "Makeup effects by Tom Savini" credit flashed across the screen. Argento AND Savini? This had the makings of a blood-soaked masterpiece. Unfortunately, there isn't a whole lot in the way of badass villainy or creative murdering in this film; the homemade garroting contraption is cool, but we don't get to see it perform its dirty work, like, ever. Please shoot me the next time I type like a mid-'90s teen movie character. While I'm at it, Christopher Rydell is no David Hemmings when it comes to cool male leads. COOL FACTOR: * 1/2 out of ****. OVERALL: This is a strange beast of a movie. The teaming up of Argento and Savini sounds like the makings of a surefire instant classic, but instead what you get is a semi-forgettable giallo film that leaves most of the nasty details up to your imagination. That's not a bad thing if you've got a lot of tension and scares to back it up, but Trauma is lacking in those areas as well. That and the fact that this comes from the guy who got famous precisely BECAUSE he didn't leave anything up to your imagination is more than a little disappointing. OVERALL RATING: ** out of ****. Worth a rental, and maybe a cheap used purchase for Argento completionists. Otherwise you'll be able to live a perfectly happy life without seeing it.
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Post by DSR on Dec 17, 2013 14:05:01 GMT -5
Great write-up, LNM. I've not ventured too far into Argento's post-1980s work simply because all I've heard is how mediocre it is. I found a copy of MOTHER OF TEARS for cheap, and I'll agree it wasn't great by any means. I did like his Masters of Horror episodes, "Jenifer" and "Pelts".
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Lick Ness Monster
Dennis Stamp
From the eerie, eerie depths of Lake Okabena
Posts: 4,874
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Post by Lick Ness Monster on Dec 20, 2013 15:30:14 GMT -5
I always appreciate the kind words on the reviews, DSR.
As for some of Argento's OTHER post-Opera films...yikes. A lot of people really like The Stendhal Syndrome, but I've never seen what all the fuss is about. And then there's The Card Player and Do You Like Hitchcock?, the two movies that are part of the 5-disc Argento box set, both of which are memorable only for the incredibly hot women on display in them. Mother of Tears was alright, but after the amazing first two chapters in the Mothers trilogy, it was a big letdown.
Lastly, just wrote a doozy of a Christmas review today. Should be posted bright and early on Christmas Eve for everyone's mild enjoyment.
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Welfare Willis
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Post by Welfare Willis on Dec 20, 2013 15:40:10 GMT -5
I always appreciate the kind words on the reviews, DSR. As for some of Argento's OTHER post- Opera films...yikes. A lot of people really like The Stendhal Syndrome, but I've never seen what all the fuss is about. And then there's The Card Player and Do You Like Hitchcock?, the two movies that are part of the 5-disc Argento box set, both of which are memorable only for the incredibly hot women on display in them. Mother of Tears was alright, but after the amazing first two chapters in the Mothers trilogy, it was a big letdown. Lastly, just wrote a doozy of a Christmas review today. Should be posted bright and early on Christmas Eve for everyone's mild enjoyment. Yeah I'd agree with that summary of Argento, LNM. The less said about Mother of Tears, the better. Haven't seen Argento's Dracula yet but that trailer does not make it look promising.
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Post by greenlantern2814 on Dec 23, 2013 4:38:42 GMT -5
I bought a copy of Trauma on VHS, I remember really enjoying it but it might have been because I was a young film fan at the time and that was the first Argento movie I had ever seen. I will have to go back and revisit it, I still need to watch Opera as that film still is not streaming anywhere (for free)
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Lick Ness Monster
Dennis Stamp
From the eerie, eerie depths of Lake Okabena
Posts: 4,874
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Post by Lick Ness Monster on Dec 23, 2013 10:33:42 GMT -5
Time for the 2013 Christmas Horror Movie Mayhem review. I really enjoyed writing this one, hope somebody enjoys it (including Lacey, who I tagged when I promoted this on Twitter . Here we are. The only movie that I've seen in theaters that I walked out of before it was finished is about to get a second chance. There's a great many things that make me feel old these days, and I'm feeling quite ancient knowing that it was already SEVEN YEARS AGO that I spent a lonely afternoon away from the crappy apartment I was living in at the time taking this incredibly dark and incredibly gruesome flick in at one of the local multiplexes. Believe it or not, going in, I was pretty jacked. On paper, this was a movie that had everything going for it. It was directed by Glen Morgan, one of the gurus behind The X-Files and the creator of the Final Destination franchise. It promised plenty of good, rollicking, old-school slasher action - fitting since it was a remake of what some people consider the original slasher flick (and one that I've reviewed already, by the way). And it featured this woman in a prominent role. Yup, Lacey "oh so fetch" Chabert, whom I've been a loyal fan of since...pretty much puberty. For reasons other than her hotness, I swear (although that certainly doesn't hurt). In Lick Ness Monster Land (and that really needs to be a theme park), it's one of the world's great injustices that both Rachel McAdams and Amanda Seyfried, two of the other "mean girls," have gone on to have Nicholas freakin' Sparks adaptation vehicles but she hasn't. She's not just a good actress; she is a FANTASTIC one, able to play either a detestable bitch or an endearing heroine with shocking ease. If I ever become Steven Spielberg successful (or at least Quentin Tarantino famous), one of my plans will be to make it so that she can afford her own solid gold private island, or whatever her ideal little heart desires. All that gushing aside, man, what is it about the Party of Five alumni that made them such great horror movie vixens? You've got Lacey here and in a recent SyFy flick called Scarecrow, you've got Sidney Prescott herself in Neve Campbell, and Jennifer Love Hewitt...if she had chosen to do more horror films aside from the I Know What You Did Last Summer films, she could have given Jamie Lee Curtis a serious run for her money as far as "greatest horror heroine of all time" goes. She had it all - hot, likable, and a FANTASTIC screamer. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, the Black Christmas remake. Now that I've done my longest introduction since the "fun sizing" of these reviews, on with the show. PLOT: This movie has a pretty nifty little "multi-timeframe" setup, with one storyline effectively taking care of the Bruce Wayne-esque origin story and the other giving us a whole lot of happenin' sorority sister action. Right before they all start getting butchered, of course. Through some lengthy flashbacks, we are shown the tender, tragic backstory of one Billy Lenz. If you want the short version, just picture a real-life version of That Yellow Bastard from Sin City. Yup, little Billy is born to one of those amazing horror movie psycho mothers (and, for the record, they are very prevalent), his liver disease that causes the aforementioned urine skin hue the source of her endless strife. So much that she murders her husband, locks the poor kid in an attic, and eventually conceives another child with him when her new husband can't keep it up long enough to give her the normal child she really wants. Seriously, that's a plot point. Meanwhile, there's all sorts of melodrama - that is unfortunately very poorly developed - involving the members of a sorority house doing their gift/wine/catty dialogue exchange. Three guesses as to what house they currently reside in. Anyway, the way that this movie is laid out is admittedly fairly original. Color me old school, but I just prefer the tried-and-true slasher method, where we spend a lot of time getting to know the victim characters (even if they are as annoying as Shelly from Friday the 13th Part III, for Christ's sakes) and the villain's back story is only briefly touched upon. The movie really suffers for this reason, because we unfortunately don't give much of a s**t about any of the girls when the shockingly brutal and shockingly brief massacre sequence begins. PLOT RATING: * 1/2 out of ****. CHARACTERS AND ACTORS: When I first saw the film in 2006, I knew two of the actors quite well - Lacey and Michelle Trachtenburg, she of the unbelievable "bending over" sequence in Eurotrip. Looking back, I was amazed at the unbelievable cast that this movie had. In addition to those two, you've also got Katie Cassidy as the "final girl" Kelly, and while her character is as deep as a Petri dish, she does her damndest to do some excavating (dodges tomatoes). I've seen Katie in other things now, and I appreciate the hell out of her, because she's the closest thing we've got to a modern day "scream queen," having also been the main heroine in When a Stranger Calls and the single most likable character in the otherwise forgettable-to-the-core Nightmare on Elm Street remake. Okay, brief aside. People tell me that Rooney Mara is better in other movies, and I'll take their word for it, but she took on that film with about as much energy as the remains of the cool ranch Doritos that are lying on my floor right now. Katie, despite that film's uninspired script, did her absolute damndest to make her character resonate. So three cheers for her. BUT THAT'S NOT ALL (/salesman voice) - there's also Mary Elizabeth Winstead doing her best Southern accent as yet another sorority sister, who you no doubt recognize as Kurt Russell without the facial hair in The Thing version 2011, Ramona in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World and John McClane's daughter. In other words, they've got some very talented people in this movie...so much like I said in the plot review, it's a shame that we don't get to know their characters on anything more than a cursory, catty level. There was INFINITE potential here to create some good, likable characters that sadly goes unfulfilled in a sea of Rob Zombie-style vulgar female dialogue. CHARACTERS AND ACTORS RATING: ** out of ****. An EASY **** for the actors but unfortunately a * for the characterization. COOL FACTOR: I went back and forth about how to rate this movie in this regard. On one hand, there is a LOT of red stuff flying around in this movie, but it's not the kind of "gore movie" that makes horror fans want to stand up and cheer. Or maybe my stomach has just grown a little bit queasier for this stuff as I've crossed over into my 30s. I suppose that having so many hot, talented actors in one movie is admittedly cool, but as for the horror itself, there isn't any particular one thing about the kills in this movie that stands out as particularly memorable. Except for the "cookie cutter" scene. You know, one of my family's Christmas rituals (to this day) involves afternoon cookie making utilizing those damn things, and I think about that scene EVERY time I partake in this painful tradition. COOL FACTOR: * 1/2 out of ****. OVERALL: Looking back at this movie, it's not quite as bad as I remembered it. For starters, yes, I did make it through the whole thing this time, although I actually left the theater on that initial viewing with only five minutes remaining (I checked out when Billy and his accomplice - I'll leave it to you to brave this movie if you want that detail - show up at the hospital during the "all is well" false resolution). Without a doubt, this was a movie with a TON of promise, and I won't even throw a dagger at Glen Morgan too hard. It's clear from watching this movie that he had a huge boner for the 1974 original, much like Rob Zombie did for Carpenter's Halloween. Couple that love up with this cast and this should have been a great, memorable slasher flick for modern audiences. Unfortunately, much like ol' Robby Z's magnum opus, the absolute worst case scenario for it came true. I just wish we could get a "Jon Lickness cut" of this movie, with much more smiles on the actresses' faces, a nice, long dinner scene between the characters where we find out their majors and their backgrounds, and a very brief (perhaps five minutes' worth) expository scene where the sorority mother tells us the legend of Billy Lenz before the slaughter starts. This slaughter, by the way, would be in more typical slasher fashion, where none of the victims are even aware that anything is off until right before they are offed to prevent this movie's amazing-in-the-wrong-way development where the sisters, having just discovered a dead body, won't leave the house because "it's snowing outside." In my humble opinion, these changes would make this movie very fetch indeed. OVERALL RATING: * 1/2 out of ****. It's good for a viewing around this time of year just for the atmosphere, but as a whole it's a slasher that's light on both scares and substance. Oh, and MERRY CHRISTMAS to all, and to all a good fright! See you all in 2014!
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Post by DSR on Dec 23, 2013 14:20:31 GMT -5
wut.
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Lick Ness Monster
Dennis Stamp
From the eerie, eerie depths of Lake Okabena
Posts: 4,874
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Post by Lick Ness Monster on Dec 24, 2013 9:57:20 GMT -5
(1) Was this a reference to Troy Steele's "Blogger Beware" Goosebumps blog? If so, awesome. (2) If it sounds like I'm exaggerating...I'm not. {Spoiler}The group of bimbos find DECAPITATED LACEY CHABERT and have something like a 30-second debate about what to do. One of them suggests driving to the police station (since the phones have been cut by the killer already), at which point Cassidy pipes in with a "are you kidding? In this weather?", which immediately ends the discussion. Hilarity.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 24, 2013 12:39:00 GMT -5
(1) Was this a reference to Troy Steele's "Blogger Beware" Goosebumps blog? If so, awesome. (2) If it sounds like I'm exaggerating...I'm not. {Spoiler}The group of bimbos find DECAPITATED LACEY CHABERT and have something like a 30-second debate about what to do. One of them suggests driving to the police station (since the phones have been cut by the killer already), at which point Cassidy pipes in with a "are you kidding? In this weather?", which immediately ends the discussion. Hilarity.
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Post by DSR on Dec 24, 2013 14:45:23 GMT -5
(1) Was this a reference to Troy Steele's "Blogger Beware" Goosebumps blog? If so, awesome. (2) If it sounds like I'm exaggerating...I'm not. {Spoiler}The group of bimbos find DECAPITATED LACEY CHABERT and have something like a 30-second debate about what to do. One of them suggests driving to the police station (since the phones have been cut by the killer already), at which point Cassidy pipes in with a "are you kidding? In this weather?", which immediately ends the discussion. Hilarity. (1) I was not intentionally referencing anything. Sorry. (2) That is ridiculous. Hilariously ridiculous.
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Post by DSR on Dec 25, 2013 18:03:32 GMT -5
Not to double-post, but did anyone get anything horror-related this Christmas?
I got:
"The Slasher Movie Book" by JA Kerswell A Jason T-shirt (my sig image is emblazoned on the front of it)
And my older brother bought me 45 movies...some of which are horror flicks, but the bulk of the set is the "Drive-In Cult Classics" 32 film set. If anyone remembers, I had the first set of 8 of those flicks, and out of that, I only liked 2 movies. So fingers crossed that I don't spend the next few nights angry or bored.
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