Post by devilfish on Dec 27, 2011 23:48:46 GMT -5
Hey guys, This is (former) Security Officer Brian Henegar, I'm the man, who guards YOUR memories. As an occasional guest on the NAWC podcast, I have always wanted to write something about wrestling for you guys, and this is the biggest way I can start. These are the 2011 "Hennie" Awards, awarded to the Best, and Worst of wrestling over the last 12 months. Today we'll start with the Special Achievement Awards, and later this week I;ll show the Dubious honors, and then on New Years Eve, I'll post the Main Event Awards. I really hope you enjoy them, and please give me any feedback you have.
THE 2011 HENNIE AWARDS
SPECIAL ACHIEVEMENT AWARDS
ENTRANCE OF THE YEAR
The Miz “Hate Me Now”, WrestleMania XXVII
What better way to start than with the best entrance of the year? It’s interesting if you think about it, but for a form of entertainment that relies almost exclusively on massive showmanship, whenever wrestling stars attempt an over-the-top (by wrestling standards, anyway) entrance it can be a huge crapshoot. For every great entrance such as Shawn Michaels’ famous zipline entrance at WrestleMania XII and John Cena’s famous Car entrance, you get crap like Triple H’s “Gonad the Barbarian” entrance at WrestleMania 22. However, the main event of WrestleMania XXVII featured this year’s greatest entrance. For many, The Miz’s WWE ascent was seen as a welcome reward for rising to the very top of the fed. At the Granddaddy of ‘em All, The Miz gave a truly memorable entrance that summed up everything about his rise to the top. Set to Nas’ “Hate Me Now,” The pre-match music video chronicled The Miz’s rise from MTV reality star, to Tough Enough contestant, to WWE Superstar. After that, Miz and lackey Alex Riley made their grand entrance, running through giant inflatable letters spelling out the word “AWESOME!” Fitting, since that’s the best word to describe this year’s greatest entrance.
PARACHUTE PANTS AWARD (For the return no-one wanted to see)
Ian Rotten
There are some things in life no-one ever wants to see return. Smallpox, The Great Depression, Pauly Shore Movies. And for wrestling fans we can add massive scumbag and all around abhorrent human being Ian Rotten to that list. A quick refresher: Among Rotten’s misdeeds were paying off the late JC Bailey with pain pills, crashing the aforementioned Mr. Bailey’s funeral and hitting up his parents for gas money, and generally running the most honky-tonk grapping promotion ever. It looked like he was finally done for after all, announcing in 2010 that IWA Mid South was closing its doors and he had found a “shoot job”…filling chalupas at the local Taco Bell. But, annoyingly, he refused to stay down. Apparently, after only a few weeks, he had been run out from the border, and decided to do the one thing he ever had a slight sniff of success at, wrestling, making at return at Indiana’s XCW promotion. Now, we here at the Hennies never want to deny anybody the right to make a living…but if ever anyone deserved to be forced to live in a cardboard box under a freeway underpass, yammering to anyone who’ll listen about his winning the 1995 PWI Feud of the Year, it’s this guy…though he did help give us one truly memorable evening…
SHOOT OF THE YEAR
Ian Rotten on “Then the Bell Rings”
There is an old saying in this world, you reap what you sow. And on March 23rd, The aforementioned Mr. Rotten brought in a bumper crop on BlogTalkRadio’s “Then the Bell Rings,” hosted by Jerry Wiseman. Rotten made the mistake of allowing open phone calls, and what ensued was two hours of verbal murder. Everyone from former girlfriend Micke Knuckles to the always hot-headed Billy “Halfbreed” Gram called to tear into Rotten. And Rotten didn’t do himself too many favours by admitting that he has, among other things, misused money raised for charity, insurance fraud, and selling prescription pills to known drug addicts. However, the most heart-wrenching moment came when JC Bailey’s father Joe came on, and you could just hear the pain in his voice as he talked about losing his son. The evening was painful, infuriating, and altogether unforgettable.
PLEASANT SURPRISE OF THE YEAR
Cody Rhodes brings back the Classic IC Title Belt
Nostalgia can be a funny thing sometimes. We, as humans, have this indescribable feeling to go back, and relive past glories. In 2011, we got a healthy dose of it, as the former “Dashing” Cody Rhodes brought back a classic to WWE. The WWE Intercontinental Championship has been around since 1979, when it was awarded…er, um, I mean when it was won by Pat Patterson in a tournament in Rio de Janiero, Brazil (yes, that’s the ticket). Since then, the belt has been seen as the stepping stone to the WWE Title, and has been in and out of periods of prestige. The most famous design of the belt itself was established in 1986 by legendary beltmaker Reggie Parks. The design was scrapped for a less-popular oval-shaped belt in 1998, but in 2011, Rhodes announced he wanted to bring some prestige back to the belt, by bring back the classic WWE Intercontinental Championship, complete with the vintage white strap and everything. The new-old belt was a welcome throwback…now if we could just do something about the “spinner” belt…
DVD OF THE YEAR
(TIE) “Memphis Heat” and “WWE Greatest Rivalries: Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels”
It was hard to choose between these two DVD’s. I spent days, if not weeks going over their high and low points in my mind when it dawned on me…These are my damn awards and I can do whatever I bloody well please, so I declared a tie. “Memphis Heat” is a godsend to every old-school fan of the territory days of wrestling. The DVD talks about the history of one of the most underrated territories in wrestling history, Memphis’ old CWA Territory. Everyone who was anybody during those days was interviewed, from Jerry Lawler, to Bill Dundee, to even referee Jerry Calhoun, recounting their memories of the good old days, if there is a complaint it’s that the DVD ends right after the Andy Kaufman feud, which is a bit short, in my opinion.
“Hart Vs. Michaels” is quite simply put, a miracle. If you had told me as short as five years ago that these two guys would be willing to sit in the same room at the same time, I would have thought you were crazy. The DVD is an amazingly indepth review of one of the most storied real-life rivalries in WWE History. If you ever head any doubt about the truth behind “Montreal”, this DVD will open your eyes to the true story behind that night, and everything that came after. Both are must-owns for your DVD collections.
POST-MATCH REACTION OF THE YEAR
Sting, TNA Victory Road, 2011
This will be short, as we will discuss it later, but in one of the few times when a wrestler allows his emotions to show through his persona, After their notorious match (if you can call it that) at TNA’s “Victory Road” Pay-Per-View, Sting finally let loose with his own frustrations. Responding to the audience’s loud chants of “This is Bull-Sh*t” Sting looked to the camera, and announced to the world in general, “I agree! I agree!” Couldn’t have said it better ourselves Mr. Borden.
GLACIER AWARD (For the slowest event in wrestling this year)
The Epic 45-minute cage construction sequence from CZW “Cage of Death 13”
For those who bought CZW’s Cage of Death 13 event held in Philadelphia in December 3rd on iPPV, you would have seen some reasonably good matches, you would have heard Larry Legend’s wonderfully over-the-top ring announcing, and for about 45 minutes before the main event, you would have been bored out of your skull. After the semi-main event, all action stopped as the ring crew set to work building the “creation of devastation.” And for those of you construction fetishists out there (and I know you people have to exist), you would have a true feast for the eyes, since rather than show some pre-taped interview segments, or (shocker) classic matches and moments from CZW’s history, instead the hard camera kept on a constant shot of the crew working to build the cage. I actually put a stop-watch to it, and it clocked in at 46:35. No wonder CZW crowds are so rabid…after waiting that long for a match, you’ll cheer ANYTHING that doesn’t involve zip ties and constantly fumbling with the directions.
YouTube/WEB SERIES OF THE YEAR
(TIE) Botchamania & Z! True Long Island Story
In the years since Al Gore invented the internet, entertainment has changed dramatically. We are now in the realm of what is called “User Generated Content”, where the producers themselves are taking to the mighty intertubes directly to entertain the masses. Two wrestling-themed shows have risen above the rest this year, and have become truly head & shoulders above the rest. The first is the comedy series “Botchamania.” Produced by a man known simply as “Maffew,” Botchamania is to bad wrestling what MST3K was to bad movies. Using a stripped-down, highly self-referential style (and lots of Japanese video game themes), Botchamania is teaching an entire world of wrestling fans how to laugh again, not to mention making Jim Cornette’s face a star in its own right.
Z! True Long Island story is, simply put, a phenomenon. Almost 1 year ago, WWE Jobber-to-the-stars Zack Ryder felt like his career was going nowhere. So he took his trusty flip-camera, rounded a gaggle of WWE talent, and decided to do what his ancestors in the grappling business did: find a way to get over. And get over he did, his merchandise sells out at arenas, even if he’s not there. And Zack has propelled himself to become a bona fide Superstar. Besides, any web show where you can see Hugh Jackman, Mr. Belding, AND John Cena is okay by me. And this leads nicely into our next award…
INSPIRATIONAL WRESTLER OF THE YEAR
(TIE) Zack Ryder & Genevieve “LuFisto” Goulet
Zack Ryder and LuFisto are the two people who make me proud to be a wrestling fan. They have shown that for all the politics, hurtful rumours, and general negativity that often permeates this business we love, there are always good things we can find, and these two people deserve this honor equally so.
Like lots of WWE midcarders, Zack Ryder felt like his career was going nowhere. He was just a jobber, relegated to “Superstars” and playing out the string. Zack knew something had to be done. So, he got a flip camera, and knew that one of two things would happen: either he would get over…or he would get fired. Zack took to YouTube and created one of the most amazing, funny, and groundbreaking shows ever: “Z: True Long Island Story.” Ryder, wasn’t sure it would work, but he knew he had to try. After a few weeks, something funny happened. Signs for Ryder began showing up on Raw, his merchandise was selling out in every town, and “We Want Ryder” chants popped up everywhere WWE went. Ryder had tapped into the WWE fanbase like no other star in recent years, and the WWE began taking notice (thanks in so small part to getting John Cena as a supporter). Slowly, Ryder was incorporated into more shows, and now his success is undeniable. Ryder had found a way to get over, and it makes a lot of fans happy that WWE is listening to their fans at long last. Zack’s success serves as an inspiration to any wrestler who has felt underutilized, and to any fan who ever wondered if their cheers made a difference.
Ryder was able to overcome adversity, but this year Genevieve “LuFisto” Goulet overcame something far more serious. On April 17th, 2010, LuFisto, kicknamed the “Super Hardcore Anime,” wrestled a match for the Shimmer promotion when she felt something was wrong. She felt faint and collapsed in a heap. Her fellow wrestlers rushed her to the emergency room, where LuFisto was hit with a shock. She had suffered a blood clot in her brain, and as a result, a mild stroke, which if it hadn’t been for the quick actions of her friends, would have debilitated her. An outpouring of love from her fans and fellow wrestlers helped LuFisto through her tough time, and she vowed to keep wrestling as long as possible. Well this year, LuFisto finally managed to slay the dragon which nearly killed her. After a battery of tests, LuFisto was found to have had a small hole in her heart, said to be about 5mm large, which was the one of the main culprits to her stroke (along with a family history of heart problems). LuFisto underwent open heart surgery to fix the problem on July 14th. Upon examination, doctors discovered the hole was four times larger than previously thought, but they were able to fix her up, and LuFi has been given a clean bill of health. With changes to her diet, and losing some weight, LuFi says she feels better than ever, and she has been able to keep doing the job she loves the most. If that’s not inspirational, I don’t know what is.
FINISHING MOVE OF THE YEAR
Double Rotation Moonsault, Ricochet.
I can remember the first time I saw a moonsault. It was Starrcade 1992, and The Great Muta was facing Barry Windham for the NWA Title. Muta ascended the turnbuckle, and with a graceful arch he leaped backwards and dropped onto Windham. It looked awesome to me as a young lad of 10, and since then I saw the moonsault become, sadly, old hat. When Terry Funk and VADER of all people can pull off the move, it loses its luster. Trevor Mann, better known as Ricochet in the “Dragon Gate” promotion managed to make the move awesome again, by giving the moonsault a simple, but awe-inspiring variation: he threw in another flip! Why, just look for yourself:
Ricochet’s Double Moonsault is quite simply put, a sight to behold, and it’s not just me. Last year, the Wrestling Observer newsletter gave it the Move of the year award, Here’s hoping that soon, he gets the chance to show it off to a larger audience.
Next time, the Dubious honors of 2011
Hope you enjoy them, and until then...HIT 'EM WITH THA FOLDIN' CHAIR!
Brian~
THE 2011 HENNIE AWARDS
SPECIAL ACHIEVEMENT AWARDS
ENTRANCE OF THE YEAR
The Miz “Hate Me Now”, WrestleMania XXVII
What better way to start than with the best entrance of the year? It’s interesting if you think about it, but for a form of entertainment that relies almost exclusively on massive showmanship, whenever wrestling stars attempt an over-the-top (by wrestling standards, anyway) entrance it can be a huge crapshoot. For every great entrance such as Shawn Michaels’ famous zipline entrance at WrestleMania XII and John Cena’s famous Car entrance, you get crap like Triple H’s “Gonad the Barbarian” entrance at WrestleMania 22. However, the main event of WrestleMania XXVII featured this year’s greatest entrance. For many, The Miz’s WWE ascent was seen as a welcome reward for rising to the very top of the fed. At the Granddaddy of ‘em All, The Miz gave a truly memorable entrance that summed up everything about his rise to the top. Set to Nas’ “Hate Me Now,” The pre-match music video chronicled The Miz’s rise from MTV reality star, to Tough Enough contestant, to WWE Superstar. After that, Miz and lackey Alex Riley made their grand entrance, running through giant inflatable letters spelling out the word “AWESOME!” Fitting, since that’s the best word to describe this year’s greatest entrance.
PARACHUTE PANTS AWARD (For the return no-one wanted to see)
Ian Rotten
There are some things in life no-one ever wants to see return. Smallpox, The Great Depression, Pauly Shore Movies. And for wrestling fans we can add massive scumbag and all around abhorrent human being Ian Rotten to that list. A quick refresher: Among Rotten’s misdeeds were paying off the late JC Bailey with pain pills, crashing the aforementioned Mr. Bailey’s funeral and hitting up his parents for gas money, and generally running the most honky-tonk grapping promotion ever. It looked like he was finally done for after all, announcing in 2010 that IWA Mid South was closing its doors and he had found a “shoot job”…filling chalupas at the local Taco Bell. But, annoyingly, he refused to stay down. Apparently, after only a few weeks, he had been run out from the border, and decided to do the one thing he ever had a slight sniff of success at, wrestling, making at return at Indiana’s XCW promotion. Now, we here at the Hennies never want to deny anybody the right to make a living…but if ever anyone deserved to be forced to live in a cardboard box under a freeway underpass, yammering to anyone who’ll listen about his winning the 1995 PWI Feud of the Year, it’s this guy…though he did help give us one truly memorable evening…
SHOOT OF THE YEAR
Ian Rotten on “Then the Bell Rings”
There is an old saying in this world, you reap what you sow. And on March 23rd, The aforementioned Mr. Rotten brought in a bumper crop on BlogTalkRadio’s “Then the Bell Rings,” hosted by Jerry Wiseman. Rotten made the mistake of allowing open phone calls, and what ensued was two hours of verbal murder. Everyone from former girlfriend Micke Knuckles to the always hot-headed Billy “Halfbreed” Gram called to tear into Rotten. And Rotten didn’t do himself too many favours by admitting that he has, among other things, misused money raised for charity, insurance fraud, and selling prescription pills to known drug addicts. However, the most heart-wrenching moment came when JC Bailey’s father Joe came on, and you could just hear the pain in his voice as he talked about losing his son. The evening was painful, infuriating, and altogether unforgettable.
PLEASANT SURPRISE OF THE YEAR
Cody Rhodes brings back the Classic IC Title Belt
Nostalgia can be a funny thing sometimes. We, as humans, have this indescribable feeling to go back, and relive past glories. In 2011, we got a healthy dose of it, as the former “Dashing” Cody Rhodes brought back a classic to WWE. The WWE Intercontinental Championship has been around since 1979, when it was awarded…er, um, I mean when it was won by Pat Patterson in a tournament in Rio de Janiero, Brazil (yes, that’s the ticket). Since then, the belt has been seen as the stepping stone to the WWE Title, and has been in and out of periods of prestige. The most famous design of the belt itself was established in 1986 by legendary beltmaker Reggie Parks. The design was scrapped for a less-popular oval-shaped belt in 1998, but in 2011, Rhodes announced he wanted to bring some prestige back to the belt, by bring back the classic WWE Intercontinental Championship, complete with the vintage white strap and everything. The new-old belt was a welcome throwback…now if we could just do something about the “spinner” belt…
DVD OF THE YEAR
(TIE) “Memphis Heat” and “WWE Greatest Rivalries: Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels”
It was hard to choose between these two DVD’s. I spent days, if not weeks going over their high and low points in my mind when it dawned on me…These are my damn awards and I can do whatever I bloody well please, so I declared a tie. “Memphis Heat” is a godsend to every old-school fan of the territory days of wrestling. The DVD talks about the history of one of the most underrated territories in wrestling history, Memphis’ old CWA Territory. Everyone who was anybody during those days was interviewed, from Jerry Lawler, to Bill Dundee, to even referee Jerry Calhoun, recounting their memories of the good old days, if there is a complaint it’s that the DVD ends right after the Andy Kaufman feud, which is a bit short, in my opinion.
“Hart Vs. Michaels” is quite simply put, a miracle. If you had told me as short as five years ago that these two guys would be willing to sit in the same room at the same time, I would have thought you were crazy. The DVD is an amazingly indepth review of one of the most storied real-life rivalries in WWE History. If you ever head any doubt about the truth behind “Montreal”, this DVD will open your eyes to the true story behind that night, and everything that came after. Both are must-owns for your DVD collections.
POST-MATCH REACTION OF THE YEAR
Sting, TNA Victory Road, 2011
This will be short, as we will discuss it later, but in one of the few times when a wrestler allows his emotions to show through his persona, After their notorious match (if you can call it that) at TNA’s “Victory Road” Pay-Per-View, Sting finally let loose with his own frustrations. Responding to the audience’s loud chants of “This is Bull-Sh*t” Sting looked to the camera, and announced to the world in general, “I agree! I agree!” Couldn’t have said it better ourselves Mr. Borden.
GLACIER AWARD (For the slowest event in wrestling this year)
The Epic 45-minute cage construction sequence from CZW “Cage of Death 13”
For those who bought CZW’s Cage of Death 13 event held in Philadelphia in December 3rd on iPPV, you would have seen some reasonably good matches, you would have heard Larry Legend’s wonderfully over-the-top ring announcing, and for about 45 minutes before the main event, you would have been bored out of your skull. After the semi-main event, all action stopped as the ring crew set to work building the “creation of devastation.” And for those of you construction fetishists out there (and I know you people have to exist), you would have a true feast for the eyes, since rather than show some pre-taped interview segments, or (shocker) classic matches and moments from CZW’s history, instead the hard camera kept on a constant shot of the crew working to build the cage. I actually put a stop-watch to it, and it clocked in at 46:35. No wonder CZW crowds are so rabid…after waiting that long for a match, you’ll cheer ANYTHING that doesn’t involve zip ties and constantly fumbling with the directions.
YouTube/WEB SERIES OF THE YEAR
(TIE) Botchamania & Z! True Long Island Story
In the years since Al Gore invented the internet, entertainment has changed dramatically. We are now in the realm of what is called “User Generated Content”, where the producers themselves are taking to the mighty intertubes directly to entertain the masses. Two wrestling-themed shows have risen above the rest this year, and have become truly head & shoulders above the rest. The first is the comedy series “Botchamania.” Produced by a man known simply as “Maffew,” Botchamania is to bad wrestling what MST3K was to bad movies. Using a stripped-down, highly self-referential style (and lots of Japanese video game themes), Botchamania is teaching an entire world of wrestling fans how to laugh again, not to mention making Jim Cornette’s face a star in its own right.
Z! True Long Island story is, simply put, a phenomenon. Almost 1 year ago, WWE Jobber-to-the-stars Zack Ryder felt like his career was going nowhere. So he took his trusty flip-camera, rounded a gaggle of WWE talent, and decided to do what his ancestors in the grappling business did: find a way to get over. And get over he did, his merchandise sells out at arenas, even if he’s not there. And Zack has propelled himself to become a bona fide Superstar. Besides, any web show where you can see Hugh Jackman, Mr. Belding, AND John Cena is okay by me. And this leads nicely into our next award…
INSPIRATIONAL WRESTLER OF THE YEAR
(TIE) Zack Ryder & Genevieve “LuFisto” Goulet
Zack Ryder and LuFisto are the two people who make me proud to be a wrestling fan. They have shown that for all the politics, hurtful rumours, and general negativity that often permeates this business we love, there are always good things we can find, and these two people deserve this honor equally so.
Like lots of WWE midcarders, Zack Ryder felt like his career was going nowhere. He was just a jobber, relegated to “Superstars” and playing out the string. Zack knew something had to be done. So, he got a flip camera, and knew that one of two things would happen: either he would get over…or he would get fired. Zack took to YouTube and created one of the most amazing, funny, and groundbreaking shows ever: “Z: True Long Island Story.” Ryder, wasn’t sure it would work, but he knew he had to try. After a few weeks, something funny happened. Signs for Ryder began showing up on Raw, his merchandise was selling out in every town, and “We Want Ryder” chants popped up everywhere WWE went. Ryder had tapped into the WWE fanbase like no other star in recent years, and the WWE began taking notice (thanks in so small part to getting John Cena as a supporter). Slowly, Ryder was incorporated into more shows, and now his success is undeniable. Ryder had found a way to get over, and it makes a lot of fans happy that WWE is listening to their fans at long last. Zack’s success serves as an inspiration to any wrestler who has felt underutilized, and to any fan who ever wondered if their cheers made a difference.
Ryder was able to overcome adversity, but this year Genevieve “LuFisto” Goulet overcame something far more serious. On April 17th, 2010, LuFisto, kicknamed the “Super Hardcore Anime,” wrestled a match for the Shimmer promotion when she felt something was wrong. She felt faint and collapsed in a heap. Her fellow wrestlers rushed her to the emergency room, where LuFisto was hit with a shock. She had suffered a blood clot in her brain, and as a result, a mild stroke, which if it hadn’t been for the quick actions of her friends, would have debilitated her. An outpouring of love from her fans and fellow wrestlers helped LuFisto through her tough time, and she vowed to keep wrestling as long as possible. Well this year, LuFisto finally managed to slay the dragon which nearly killed her. After a battery of tests, LuFisto was found to have had a small hole in her heart, said to be about 5mm large, which was the one of the main culprits to her stroke (along with a family history of heart problems). LuFisto underwent open heart surgery to fix the problem on July 14th. Upon examination, doctors discovered the hole was four times larger than previously thought, but they were able to fix her up, and LuFi has been given a clean bill of health. With changes to her diet, and losing some weight, LuFi says she feels better than ever, and she has been able to keep doing the job she loves the most. If that’s not inspirational, I don’t know what is.
FINISHING MOVE OF THE YEAR
Double Rotation Moonsault, Ricochet.
I can remember the first time I saw a moonsault. It was Starrcade 1992, and The Great Muta was facing Barry Windham for the NWA Title. Muta ascended the turnbuckle, and with a graceful arch he leaped backwards and dropped onto Windham. It looked awesome to me as a young lad of 10, and since then I saw the moonsault become, sadly, old hat. When Terry Funk and VADER of all people can pull off the move, it loses its luster. Trevor Mann, better known as Ricochet in the “Dragon Gate” promotion managed to make the move awesome again, by giving the moonsault a simple, but awe-inspiring variation: he threw in another flip! Why, just look for yourself:
Ricochet’s Double Moonsault is quite simply put, a sight to behold, and it’s not just me. Last year, the Wrestling Observer newsletter gave it the Move of the year award, Here’s hoping that soon, he gets the chance to show it off to a larger audience.
Next time, the Dubious honors of 2011
Hope you enjoy them, and until then...HIT 'EM WITH THA FOLDIN' CHAIR!
Brian~