Love Advice: I need it.

[lodirulz]

So, there's this girl I know in drama club back at school. And literally, moments ago, she confessed that she has a crush on me. And I don't know what to feel. She's, respectfully, one of the "outcasts" in school: She's not rebellious, she doesn't cause trouble, but it's not like visions of her dance in my head. What I'm trying to say is, this is a case of love knocking at the door, but your not sure if you want to answer it or not.

Because I'm a ''outcast'' as well. The girls that I like are ''popular'', but they take one look at me, and you can tell I'm miles away from their hearts. "A mere peasant in front of a queen'', as an AXE commercial once said.

The one girl that I do like is taken, and most likely won't be mine anytime soon. And now, there's one girl that all of a sudden asks me out, with this road possibly never being seen with me again, but I don't know what to do.

And in case this question comes up, and I'm uncomfortable in saying it, but yes, the girl in question wouldn't be considered ''hot."

["I'm Batman..."]

You're 15, go out with her. You named about 3 good reasons to go out with her. It's not like you'll be together forever.

[Piccolo]

I agree. Getting dating experience is not to be underrated, even if you're not into her, and who knows? You might like her personality enough that she becomes attractive to you and it doesn't matter so much that you didn't achieve the social coup of getting a girl who was out of your league. And if it doesn't work out, nothing lost.

Edited to add: I don't mean to imply that you should be dishonest or lead her on, by the way. There's no need to pretend you had a reciprocal crush. Just say something like, "I'm really flattered by your interest, thank you! Sure, I'd be up for going out a few times to see if we click." That way, she's aware that this isn't something you've been dreaming about or anything, and also that it has a shelf life depending on whether you do feel that click with her or not. You're not consenting to be her boyfriend or anything.

[Hit Girl]

Take what comes to you, brotha.

[Knailsic From Now On]

Dec 26, 2012 18:36:36 GMT -5 lodirulz said:

So, there's this girl I know in drama club back at school. And literally, moments ago, she confessed that she has a crush on me. And I don't know what to feel. She's, respectfully, one of the "outcasts" in school: She's not rebellious, she doesn't cause trouble, but it's not like visions of her dance in my head. What I'm trying to say is, this is a case of love knocking at the door, but your not sure if you want to answer it or not.

Because I'm a ''outcast'' as well. The girls that I like are ''popular'', but they take one look at me, and you can tell I'm miles away from their hearts. "A mere peasant in front of a queen'', as an AXE commercial once said.

The one girl that I do like is taken, and most likely won't be mine anytime soon. And now, there's one girl that all of a sudden asks me out, with this road possibly never being seen with me again, but I don't know what to do.

Hmm this sounds like quite the pickle-

Dec 26, 2012 18:36:36 GMT -5 lodirulz said:

And in case this question comes up, and I'm uncomfortable in saying it, but yes, the girl in question wouldn't be considered ''hot."

Dude, go for it.

[Crusty Ruffles]

You've really got nothing to lose, my friend.

It doesn't sound like you're really into her at this point, but also that you might not know her that well. That'd give you plenty of ammo for small talk if you took her out.

Worst case scenario, you have a clunker of a date and a good story to tell. Good luck making your decision! ;D

[Matt]

Go for it. I wish I had gone on a lot more chances for dates when I was that age. You might have a good time together and it makes for a good relationship or it doesn't and you get a story out of it.

[Oak: Certified Jade Hater]

Joke answer: You're a 15 year old male. At this point in your life, it's all about the story.

Real answer: Go for it. Go on a date or two, see how you guys click. If attraction comes up, great. If not, at least you have some experience.

True story: I had someone ask me out, and I said no. But we ended up friends, and after some time, I became attracted to her. She had moved on by that point, and even though we're still friends, I regret not going for it. I sometimes wonder what if I had said yes and how things might have gone.

Don't be like me bro. Go for it and see what happens.

[Mac]

You youngins are deep these days. When I was 15 and a girl said she had a crush on me I immeditally started thinking of having sex with her in one form or another.

Good on you.

[Kash Flagg]

If you're not into her, don't go out with her to "do her a favor". That's a sure fire way to hurt her. I'm kinda surprise by the answers in this thread because I know none of you would like being in that girl's position...I know, I read the threads here.

[Mozenrath]

Dec 26, 2012 22:59:36 GMT -5 Kash Flagg said:

If you're not into her, don't go out with her to "do her a favor". That's a sure fire way to hurt her. I'm kinda surprise by the answers in this thread because I know none of you would like being in that girl's position...I know, I read the threads here.

If it's a case of doing her a favor, yeah, don't do it.

That said, if you think something could come of this, and if you do not lead her on, and try to get to know her, then that could be okay. Exchange numbers or email, talk, maybe she'll turn out to have a lot in common with you. Just don't lead her on, please.

[Munkie91087]

You're 15, dude. Go out with this young lady. Worst comes to worst, you don't like her and you stop seeing each other romantically. Not that big of a deal. It's always good to get experience when you're younger. It's how you emotionally develop enough to enter relationships when you're older.

[Optimax]

Do you find her attractive on any way? Or feel like you could form some kid of connection?
If either answer is yes, then give it a go! If both are no (maybe your standards are too high?) big regardless just dating her for the sake, a favour, as others have coined it would b doing the wrong thing.

Personally I'd give it a go

[StuntGranny®]

If you find her attractive, go for it.

And I would suggest not giving a shit about who is an "outcast" or "popular". That crap won't mean anything when you're out of school.

But yeah, again, if you have feelings for her, try it and see how it works out.

[Optimax]

Agreed about the outcast and popular stuff, it's a load tripe. Maybe while You're in high school but in the real world is just crap

[Clash, Never a Meter Maid]

The key is not to be disingenuous, either with her or yourself. If she seems like a nice girl and you think you'd have stuff in common that could maybe lead into real friendship, by all means go out with her. Don't give her a "pity date" while you're not truly interested, because that can be damaging to a girl at that age. If you're not into her in any way, don't bother.

[lodirulz]

Well, I thought about it all night, considering your opinions and my opinions, and I talked to my parents about it and they gave their own opinions.

And I know it's the popular vote, but I just can't see myself being with her. Believe me, I'm looking for a relationship, and here's one standing in front of me, but I keep getting mixed feelings over what to do, and I figure since I can't picture myself with her and neither can my parents, it's not meant to be.

If I "friendzone" her, will that make me a bad person? Would I be making a mistake in saying no?

[Push R Truth]

You can only do what you want to do.


You are probably over thinking it.

[Cela]

Don't be so dramatic, save it for the club. Go out to a movie.

[Crusty Ruffles]

Dec 27, 2012 12:29:47 GMT -5 lodirulz said:

Well, I thought about it all night, considering your opinions and my opinions, and I talked to my parents about it and they gave their own opinions.

And I know it's the popular vote, but I just can't see myself being with her. Believe me, I'm looking for a relationship, and here's one standing in front of me, but I keep getting mixed feelings over what to do, and I figure since I can't picture myself with her and neither can my parents, it's not meant to be.

If I "friendzone" her, will that make me a bad person? Would I be making a mistake in saying no?

Overall, you have to remember this is a situation where you have to put yourself first. If you don't feel anything for this girl, then that's the end of it right there. You don't have to do anything with her just because she has a crush on you. You're 100% in the right for the way you're handling this.

I can completely understand not wanting to hurt her feelings, at least that's what I'm getting from your comments. If you don't feel anything romantic for her, but would still like to hang with her, you can put that out there if the moment arises.

Contrary to popular belief, the whole "just friends" thing isn't a dick move when done correctly. I have several female friends, including one who did randomly spring romantic feelings on me, and we're all fine. It'll be a complicated friendship for her for a bit, but that's your call on going that route.